, INSECT UNDERTAKERS.
ferhmt a Krlentlut Learned Wlille Watching
up I ' the Dolnff of Ilarylng lleetles.
nearly overy ono is laminar witn
; the burying bcotlo, and many have,
perhaps, watched Its operations. No
ticing that dead moles and other small
animals laid on the loose ground soon
disappeared. Prof. Gloditsch concluded
to investigate the cause. Accordingly,
he placed a molo In tho garden, and on
tho morning of tho third day found it
buried, somo threo inches below tho
Burfaco. Though wondering why this
service was performed for tho dead
mole, yet, as he saw only four beetles
under the carcass, ho ro-buricd itand in
six days found it overrun with maggots.
It was not until then that tho thought
struck him that theso maggots erc
tho offspring of tho beetles ho had
seen, and that they performed tho bu
rial rites in order to provide a placo
to deposit their eggs, where the newly
hatched young might hnvo food for
their nourishment. Continuing his
observations, Mr. Gloditsch placed
four of these beetles under a glass
case, with two dead frogs. One pair
buried tho first frog in twelve hours,
nnd on tho third day tho second ono
was similarly disposed of. Tho pro
fessor then gave them a dead linnet,
nnd a pair of tho booties set to work to
bury it. They pushed out tho dirt
from beneath tho body; then tho malo
drove tho female away, and worked
alono for about tlvo hours, turning the
linnet around in a more convenient po
sition, and occasionally mounting the
body to tread it down. After resting
for an hour it proceeded, as before, al
ternately excavating and pulling, the
bird from below, and then treading it
. down from above. It was burled by
tho end of the third day. in fifty days
tho four beetles had burled four frogs,
three small birds, two fishes, ono mole,
two grasshoppers, tho entrails of a fish.
nnd two morsels of tho lungs of an o:;.
, Chicago Jnlcr-Occeiu.
, Storing Apples for Long Keeping.
Thoro is n difforonco in tho keeping
tiuullticH of apples in different yonrs
that nobody has been fully able
to account for. Occasionally a year
occurs, to all outward appearances not
excoptlonably different from others,
wnon wiuuiaus win Keep us wejl as
carefully picked apples in former ones
Such ii difference can not bo laid to tho
handling of the fruit, but must bo
owing to atmospheric influences. Ap
ples will enduro without injury a much
lower temperature than will potatoes,
nnd tho cooler they are kept without
freezing tho better. Dry. cool cellars
are generally proferred by farmers as
n storo place for their barroled apples,
but of late years somo growers claim
that this fruit kcops better in moist
than in dry places, always providing
said place Is cool. When kopt in col
lars, good ventilation is necessary in
nil cubes. When barreled in an or
chard and not shipped away nt once,
tho apples aro hotter to bo put up in
tiers undor tho trees and protected
from the rain and sun by boards than
to bo put in buildings. Some poisons
leave tho barrels all on tho ground in
tho hhado and uncovered, claiming
that they keep cooler on tho ground
than when piled up. Apples raised on
rich alluvial lands will prove poor
koopors. For tho bo-t kcoplng tho or
chards should be on high or hilly
hinds and not too rich. A'. Y. World.
Tho Farmer as a Man.
The farmer in tho struggle for ex
istence should not forgot that ho is a
man created in tho image- of his Maker,
and poshossed of great capacities and
wonderful capabilities. How many
mori wo hoo devoting their wholo ener
gies striving to seo how much riches
and worldly possessions thoy can ac
quire, seemingly scarcely to think of
trying to see how much of a man thoy
may become. How seldom wo esti
mate tho value- of any llfo experience
by tho effect It has hud In making us
moro kindly, more considerate of
othors, more self-denying and moro
firmly resolved to do right. Tho
building up of a uoblo, pure, grand
character Is tho grandest work a man
can engage in, and one that is often
hotter promoted by what arq generally
regarded as tho reverses In llfo than
by successes. What aro gonorally re
garded as tho hucccshos in life aro
often hut hindrances to tho man's be
coming a true man, making him moro
selllsl, moro narrow-minded and
dwarfing his manhood. Whatever a
man's worldly success, or whatever tho
lack of It, ho yet can bo a man in the
true sense of tho word, and as such bo
tho full equal of any other man. -St.
I'aul Pionter-Prcss.
Tho Marrlngo Was Postponed.
"Yes, dear, I lovo you; but pleaso
don't bo so Impatient, It would bo
ridiculous to sot our wedding day so
booh."
Engaged Youth Hut why?
"You must remember that a marriage-
Is a great and solemn ovont In a
woman's llfo, and should bo colebrated
by u grand wedding, with every thing
perfectly lovely and six beautllul
bridesmaids."
"All right. You can have a dozen
If you wish."
'What a darling you are! Woll,
that's why I want to wait, Brides
umlds aro out of stylo now, hut Mrs.
Society says tho fashion will bo re
vived In three, or four years." Phila
delphia Jttconl.
m
'Still lying la his gravo" Is an
Eastern paper's reply to tho request:
'Pleuso Inform an uruhwoologlsl where
tho body of Ananias now Is." A utrlk
lg Instance of tho ruling passion
'U-onr In death. Chicago lhrahl.
A BOY'S TIME-TABLE.
The Pleasant anil Unpleasant Thing! fa
Little Freddy' Life.
My little nephew ran across a para
graph, somcwhero, which said that
any body could savo at least two hours
of wasted timo a day by running on a
time-table.
Freddy brought tho clipping to mo,
and asked what it meant. I told him
that I supposed that it meant that a
person could savo two hours a day by
having all his work or amusement
plannod and arranged beforehand
such and such a thing to bo done at
3uch a time, and another thing follow
ing directly after, and io on.
Freddy seemed so much interested
that 1 advised him to make out a titjio
table for himself, and try naming qpn
It for a few days. Ho suld ho guessed
ho would because two extra hours
a day would bo a groat holp to him in
learning to striko out tho follows, and
possibly would secure him tho coveted
position of pitcher In tho school nine.
Tho noxt day Freddy submitted tho
following to mo:
Fkeddv'b Time-Table,
a. M.
G45 to 7 Gcttln up.
7 to 7S0 Hath and gottln reddy fcr
brokfus.
730 to 8 Hrckfus.
8 to 820 Pralrs.
820 to 830 Hand stud.y.
830 Star.t for skool.
9 Got thcRO Qa fuH'cr- mi'i'st -have s.unr
fun In llfoi).
9 to 1030-Study and rosit'e.
1030-to 1015 Rosos (out- to bo longer).
10:15 to 12 Study and reslto.
I M.
12 to 1215 Goln for lunch.
1215 to 1230 Eatln It.
1230 to 1 Sloos of things. Playin ball
mosly.
1 to 3 Skool ova. Tuffest part of tho
da".
3 ....uol over. Fun boglns.
3 to C Baco ball. Hlslcklo rldln.
Goln to walk (sumtimo3 with u gurl).
Slldln and skatln In winter. Flyln
kite. Bothrin tho dog. Ponuts. Goln
to rldo with pa. Shoppin with ma
(won I dont kno it bofdurhand).
Kandy. In bod wothor roadin. Sloos
of othor things.
9 to 7 Dinner (grato timo for mo.)
7 to 730 Nothin much. Dont fool
like It.
730 to 8 Pa gets dun with paper an
roads sunthln alowd.
8 Scz I must begin to study.
8 to 815 Kickln aginst It.
816 to 915 Study.
915 Gwup to bed.
916 to 935 Wlndln watorbury watch.
935 to 915 Undressln and gottln Into
bod.
915 till mornln. Grato big timo with
dreoms, but a follor cant stop to injoy
thing much. Wonder wy drocms cant
hang on moro liko rool things?
P. S. Waro do thos too oxtry ours
cum in? I'aul Pastnor, in Ihtck.
LAKES THAT DISAPPEAR.
Hut the .Settler Is Wiirnrcl That Thoy
Bltiy Appeui Airttln.
Southeastern Orogon isalmostatorra
Incognita vol, oxcopt to cattlemon.
swamp land-grabbers and people of
that Ilk. In tho numerous law-suits
botween swamp land men and sottlors
who hnvo takon wp claims on the
alloged swamp lands, thoro havo boon
many Instances of persons swearing In
direct opposition to others in rcga:l to
tho character of land which would
load unbiased persons to supposo that
fiat porjury had boon committed.
Thoro may havo boon no idea or In
tention on tho part of any of tho wit
nesses to testify falsely in theso casos,
as tho following will show:
Warner Lake, In Southoastorn Oro
gon, Is a shallow body of wator covor
ing a large amount of land. It is
divided by low rldgos of land into
threo or four divisions. Last year a
gentleman cruising through that coun
try found one of thoso division to bo a
lake oight miles long and four milos
wide, and from four to llvo foot doop.
This summer the samo gontloman
visited that section and found this lnko
totally dry and drove his loam across
it without trouble. Ho is now pro-
pared to swear that tho slto of tho lake
is suitable for cultivation, wheroas last
year ho would havo sworn with a oloar
conseionco that thoro was a lako thorn
Last year Mr. Noll had a contract to
make a survey of tho moaudor lino of
Warnon Lake, which ho did, and this
year Mr. Martin, a Government Inspec
tor of surveys, visited Warrior Lake to
inspect tho survoylng dono by Mr.
Nell. He found the work all right,
hut It did not conform to tho wntor
lino In that part of tho lako above men
tioned.
Responsible partlos who woro at tho
lako when Mr. Neil made his moandor,
confirmed Its truthfulness as to tho
water lino whon It was made, and Mr.
Martin bocamo convinced by tholr tes
timony that a wonderful change hnd
taken placo.
Tho probable causo of tho disap
pearance of this largo body of wator
la tho light fall of snow in that section
for several years past, as all tho lakes
In that section aro lowor than over
before since tho settlement of tho
country.
It will hardly bo safo to sottlo on the
bottom of a dried up lake or close to
low-wator mark, as In case of n long,
hard winter, with a great fall of snow
nnd late rains In tho spring theso lakes
will likely expand themselves to tholr
original size.
Tho fact that tho lakes In that sec
tion aro of this character Is probably
,thu cause of all tho trouble and nils
understanding In regard to swamp
lands. Irtlaml Oregonian.
Prussian blue is got by fusing
horses' hoofs and othor refuse anlinal
matter with impure potassium Carbonate,
IMPERFECT STABLES.
Flow They Affect Lire-Stock and the Farm
er's Pocket -Hook.
On how many farms, should stable
bo visited by a committee of inspec
tion, would tho stables be found so
porfect in tholr arrangements as to
call for no criticism? I imagino those
which would bo graded perfect are
few. Yet the stable Is a very impor
tant part of tho farm economy for It is
there that a largo part of tho farm
manufacturing is carried on. Tho hay
fodder and grain aro mado into butter
and beef, and tho fertilizers aro pre
pared that aro to restore tho waste of
tho farm and enable us to grow profit
able crops in tho future. Tho cssen
tials of a good stable aro that It should
bo warm so that in winter no cold
drafts blow on tho stock confined with
out exercise, and at tho samo time it
should bo well lighted and ventilated
that the arrangements for getting tho
food to tho stock be such as to econo
mize timo and labor, and to enable us
to clean tho mangers readily and
quickly; tluit tho stable floor bo made
tight so as to savo all tho manure
liquid and solid, nnd so arranged tin
the stock is not liable to bo soiled, and
tho manure can bo easily removed, and
that thero bo good roomy box
stalls to bo used for cows at
farrowing time, for mares either
heavy with foal or with young
colts and for wintering calves and colts
Tried by theso standards few stables
will bo found that fill the spcciflca
tions-, It mny not bo easy to remodel
an old barn so as to get tho perfect
stables, but in most of them a little
planning and 'a modorato outlay of
timo and money will result in a great
improvement.
Perhaps an enumeration of some
things which I have seen, nnd some
suggestions, may bo helpful to our
readers: First, I suggest that on tho
first rainy day when you aro at leisure
you go to your barn and study for a
fow hours tho details of your stable I
will tell you what many of you will
find. Cracks botween weather boards
that will lot the cold winds in and tho
lino snow sift through'when thoro is
blizzard so that your stock will stand
and shiver. Stock will bo far moro
comfortablo out of doors where they
can exercise and seek tho leo of a
strawstack, or tho sholter of a grove,
than wnon common in a stall in sued a
stable. To keep animals under such
circumstances is an expensive cruolty
for at least ono-fourth of tho food
eaten is consumed in maintaining heat.
when it might ns woll bo used In mak
ing beef or milk. Tho thing for thoso
to do who find tho stable in this condi
tion is to buy paper and lumbor and
havo tho stablo double-boarded bofore
winter comos. After you hnvo tried it
ono winter if you do not coneludo this
to bo good advice, send tho bill to me
and I will pay It, provided vou will
agree that if you do and that tho ud
vico was good, you will send mo a ten-
dollar bill as a ice for professional
sorvicos. Somo of you will find a
worso stato of affairs than this, for in
addition to tho cracks in tho sides of
your stablo thero Is no underpinning,
and tho wind swoops under tho stablo
and comes up through cracks an inch
wldo in tho stalls. You ought to go
around bohlnd tho barn and kick your
solf on making this discovery, and
then if you do not remedy It
I would liko to tlo you in ono of
thoso stalls on Uio blrthnight of noxt
wintor whon tho mercury dropped
down near zero and tho wind was out
on a tear. I think before morning
your ropontnnco would bo gonuineand
your resolutions of amondmontsincoro.
Put these cracks aro costing you
more than moroly tho extra feed to
keep your stock warm. Just listen a
momont while I road from a tablo giv
ing tho values of manures, and thoro is
no question of tho accuracy of tho
statement: "Tho fresh solid excre
ment of a horse is worth $1.30 and tho
fresh urlno is worth $8.G2 per ton. Tho
solid oxcroment of tho cow is worth 8G
conts and tho urlno is worth $3.M per
ton." Those valuations nro based on
tho values of nitrogen, phosphoric ncid
and tho potash in them at tho, same
price we are charged for them as com
mercial fertilizers. Tho urlno thon
bolng so valuable is not a leak In tho
stablo fioor worso than a leak In tho
roof How many stables havo floors
tight enough to savo tho liquid? I
was in tho stable of a neighbor last
spring and saw ono of his horses
standing In a pool of urine whoro tho
floor had been worn hollow and seeing
that I noticed It ho said apologetically:
"1 bored some holes in tho floor to
keep tho stall dry but thoy havo got
stopped." 1 said to him: "Don't you
know that one pound of urlno Is worth
six pounds of tho solid manuro?" He
answered IndllTerontly as though It
was a matter in which ho had no In
terest: "Yos; I believe It Is," and tho
holes I think are still in tho floor. Yet
this man is in nearly every rospeet an
unusually good farmor. Yot such Is
tho force of habit that whllo carefully
Hiving his solid manure, although he
had a largo stack of clover straw from
which he had threshed seed, which on
a tight floor would havo absorbed all
this liquid, ho bored holes Jn his floor
to got rid of it, Waldo I'. Jlrown, it:
Ohio farmer.
Italian immigrants to Now York
live on nine cents a day. They make
a soup with a bit of pork and cast-off
shreds of cabbage and servo it with
black broad. Somo Italian laborers
who aro receiving sevonty-flvo cents a
day aregrowlng rich. Thoy can hardly
be wolcotnud competitors In the labor
markuU
i i i i
The hog Is omnivorous and la
mnuh buntillhHl by the right sort ol
vujjutnblq food.
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
Engine 310. of the Union Pacific
road, has a record of having run 1,140V
625 miles. It has been in use for
twenty-five years and was ono of the
first locomotives used west of tho Mis
souri river.
In tho town of Orizaba, Mexico,
thero aro three papers, tho names of
which signify "Tho Rat," "Tho Cat"
and "The Beetle." It. is noticed that
"The Cat" is all tho time trying to
catch "The Rat,"
A blast of six thousand pounds of
powder was recently set oil In a quarry
on Telegraph Hill, San Francisco. It
shook tho earth for miles around nnd
dislodged from thirty tho9and to fifty
thousand tons of rock.
The value of coins to collectors
docs not depend on their ago. Roman
tribute pennies, dated boforo Christ.
are not worth moro than $1, whltf? a
genuine American silver dollar of 1804
would sell close to $1,000.
j.nc oiner uay a lioston man re
ceived a letter, on the cnvolooo of
which were tho words, "BloSll!
Blood! Blood!" In big red letters.
Thinking that It contained a threat t(9
kill him, ho cave it unopened to tho no-
lice. When they opened it, thoy found
it was a harmless appeal from a Salva
tion Army crank.
A Sylvanla (Ga.) boy dug up somo
artichokes to pickle, and among them
was a cooter or tarrapin egg, which he
dropped into tho brine along with tho
artichokes. A few days nfterwArd ho
took out a handful of roots and dropped
ono on tho floor. It broke open and
out crawled a young cooter. Tho boy
firmly believes that ono of tho arti
chokes had a young terrapin it It.
A Washington .territory young
man applied for tho teochership of the
Port Blakeloy school. Ho sent his
application and u supposed letter of
recommendation in tho samo envelope
ijy mistake, however, no inclosed a
letter from a young lady, containing
charges and threats very damaging to
tho would-be podagoguo's reputation
Tho school trustees wroto and told
him that his recommendation was not
of tho right kind.
An Alabama lawyer closed an
argument tho other day thus: "If
your Honor pleaso, and gontloman of
tho jury, I do not desire to militate
against tho majesty of tho law, nor to
contravene tho avoirdupois of tho ovi
dence. If you strip this 'thing of its
multitudinous wrappings, break tho
cement and lot tho cohesion take placo,
you will find out thero is nothing in
this case but an inroad by way of an
invasion into Dr. Watson's apothecary
shop."
Tho woody, melon-shaped fruit of
tho sand-box treo of tho West Indies
is made into a neat box by sawing off
tho top and scooping out tho seeds.
and is used in Barbadoes for holding
sand. When, however, tho fruit is al
lowed to ripen on tho treo, it bursts
oxplosivoly, scattering tho seeds over
tho ground. An experimenting natur;
alist recently sought to proservo a
specimen of tho fruit by drying care
fully; but It oxploded with such vio
lence as to dostroy the box containing
it.
An English antiquarian has boon
dolvlng among old newspaper files and
has discovered what he says Is tho
first commercial advertisement ovor
printed in a newspaper. It nppoarcd
in tho Mercurius l'oliticus of London,
dated boptombcr M, loas. it runs as
follows: "That excollont and by all
Physicians approved, China Drink,
called by all tho Chlncans Tcha, by
othor Nations Tny, alias Tee, is sold
at tho Sultanoso Head Copheo House,
In Sweoting's Rents, by tho Royal Ex
change, London."
A rotallor In The Shoe and Leather
Reporter thus explains a trick of tho
trade: "I soil a shoo that costs mo
f 1 at tho original prico, and use it as
leador.' Then I mark my $1.25
shoes at $1.50, tho $2 at $2.50, tho
$2.25 at $4 and the $2.C0 goods at $5.
See? A customor wnnts to look at my
low-priced grades; I show thom, and
bring out all my principal lines.
Ikoly as not persuade him or hor to
pay $3 and this seeuros mo a fair
profit. No, I don't soil many at $1,
and oven If I did, tho less economical
buyers inako It up to mo by giving mo
handsome proliton tho better shoes."
m m
Queer Analogies In Nature.
I ho coeoanut is, in many respects.
liko tho human skull, although it
closely rcsomblos tho skull of tho
monkey. A spongo may bo so hold as
to remind ono of tho unfleshed faco of
tho skoloton, and tho meat of an Eng
lish walnut Is almost tho exact repre
sentation of tho brain. Plums nnd
black chorrles rosomble tho human
eyes; almonds and somo othor nuts ro
semblo tho different varlotlos of tho
human noso, and an opened oystor and
Its shell are a perfect Imiige of tho hu
man car. Tho shnpo of almost any
man's body may bo found In tho vari
ous kinds of mammoth pumpkins.
TJio open hand may be discerned in
tho form assumed by Bcrub-willows
and growing colory. Tho Gorman tur
nip and tho egg-plant resemble tho hu
man heart. Thero aro other striking
resomblances between human organs
and certain vegotablo forms. Tho
forms of many mechanical contrivances
in common uso may be traced back 'o
tho patterns furnished by nature.
Thus, tho hog suggested tho plow;
tho butterfly, tho ordinary hlngo; tho
toad-stool, tho umbrella; tho duck, tho
(hip; tho fungous growth on trees, tho
bracket. Any one desirous of proving
the oneness of tho earthly system will
flud the msomblnncos in nature u most
amusing study. Sciaitijic American.
THE BOWSER oFAMJLY.
Epistles 'milch Turned the "Old Man's"
Wrath Into Conrusion.
Some time since I referred to tho
fact that I had carefully preserved, ar
ranged and filed all of Mr. Bowser's
love letters, and I advised every brido
to do tho same thing. I now desire to
reiterate that advice. I really don't
know how I could got along with Mr.
Bowser If I did not have tfis leverage
on him. Liko all other husbands ho
has his sudden fits and his hours of
forgetfulness. Ho wanted a pair of
pincers to use for something, and be
cause thoy wore not right at hand ho
mado a cesfaro of despair G0d ex
claimed:
"O, of course, I must get used to It,
I suppose. Such a housekeeper as you
are Airs. Bowser!"
"Here they are. You loft 'cm on tho
loungo yourself last night."
"Lay It to me, of course. Y hat s
that young'un bellowing about now?"
"Ho fell down."
"Doesn't ho know enough to stand
up.J ma t&o wood como up.'"
"No."
"It didn't."
I ordered it tho first
thinr this morninsr. This is the worst
run house in Detroit,"
'Do I run tho wood yards?"
'But why didn't you tell me it
hadn't como up? It's a wonder tho
girl hasn't quit to climax our troubles."
'She went an hour ago."
Mr. Bowser sat down and looked at
me a long timo. Then he sighed deep
l&nnd said:
Well, I supposo I must stand it,
but it's hard, very hard. This is what
comes of marrying a girl who has been
brought up on caramels and novels."
1 went up-slairs and brought down
tho package of letters. Selecting one
marked: "Exhibit A filed September
10. 1884," I began to read:
My Anoei. One: I send you another box
of caramels and flvo of tho lutesl novels, and I
hope you will thoroughly enjoy them. You
were lamenting tho fact that you knew so little
of housework. I atn glad of It. Angels are not
expected to fry pork and wash dishes. You
shall havo n dozen housekeepers when wo nro
married, an I jou shall never know a household
care."
"That's a base forgery!" shouted
Mr. Bowser as I finished reading.
'Oh, no, it isn't. I expected tho
day would como when you would say
so and so I prepared for it. See here:
Mv mother attests it as a witness."
Well, if I wrote it I must havo
been asleep."
'And only tho other day, Mr. Bow
ser, when 1 got a now dress home, you
said I hadn't any more taste than a
clam, and that my ideas of harmony
would stop a clock."
'Yes, and I meant it. lou were
always that way."
"Was I?"
I selected a letter marked "Exhibit
A 2 filed Soptembor 18, 1884," and
read:
"Mv Urautiful: The picture of my dear
no as she appeared to mo last night has been
vrlth me all day. You havo the taste of a queen
In your toilet, and harmony is second nature
with you. Oh ! my little angel, you"
I wroto that, did' I?" sternly de
manded Mr. Bowser.
"Of course."
"ovor! iho man who says 1 was
ever fool enough to write such stun
must die!"
It is duly attostod, Mr. Bowser,
and you can't deny your writing. I
haven't changed a bit in my tastes
since our mnrrisigo. Indeed, I think I
llavo improved."
'Ihoro goes that young 'un again!
Ho Isn't happy unless ho is hollering
liko a calf mired in a ditch."
"But seojiorc, Mr. Bowser."
And I solected a telegram marked:
"Exhibit B 1 original," and attested
by father, mother and nurse, and read:
"CitlCAOO, November !Mth. ISSi.MyDarltiw:
Thank God for the news of tho birth of our
ion I My heart swells with lovo and gratitude.
It Is our bond of lovo. Heaven has surely
blest us. Again, thank God. Will bo homo
Sunday night. Dowser."
'I novor sent it," shouted Mr. Bow
ser.
Yes, you did! Hero is tho proof
to convict you. Thero isn't a mention
ibout 'calf in this, and as for 'holler
ing, you novor dreamed of it."
Oh, woll, havo it your own wav.
You'd havo tho last word If I was
dying. Somo wives aro built that
way. If I was liko somo husbands I'd
assert my authority."
"But you aro not, Mr. Bowser, as
this will prove."
And I selected a letter marked: "Ex
hibit C 1 original," and attested,
and read:
'MY Dkaiikst Lovky: In reference to our
conversation last night, I wish to say that I
have always held and always shall hold that
husband and wlfo should bo equal In authority.
Neither has tho right to dictate to tho other,
though if either had that right I would give it
lo you. We shall never have u wool of dispute
not one. If there is any bosstnTf' you may
do it."
"And do you dnro chargo mo with
writing such stuff as that!" gasped Mr.
Bowser.
I do. Horo Is tho proof, and you
can't wriggle out of it."
"I wroto 'Dearest Lovoy,' did I?"
"You did. Indeed, Mr. Bowser, you
woro far gono about thoso days."
I was, eh! ell, you can't ranko
mo bellovo that I over wroto any inch
Infernal bosh as that! You'll noxt
charge mo with writing you up In
verse."
"You ovon did that, sir. Just wait."
I solected a letter marked: "Exhibit
C 1 very choice." and read:
The twilight toftly cometh down,
At sinks the sun away.
And Hull children go to bed.
All weary with their play.
Where is tay lovo thtt glorious evof
Whore doth her proud foot rostt
Ami where that hoad of golden hair
Which I shall over bU&sl"
'And you sny I wrote that!" whis
pered Mr. Bowser.
ou did. It's a beautiful thing,
too. I omu mo thoso little elilldiwi
folufj rlRht to bed. You spok of my
hoofs1 the othor day, and you had
slur about red-head! Only four year
ago it was my 'proud foot' and my
'golden head.'"
Ho was silent.
"Do you want any more, Mr.
Bowser?" I asked.
. "Mrs. Bowser, I don't say that you
are not as good as tho average wife,
but I 6?j say that you have a mighty
mean streak in your composition. It
may bo possible that whllo I lay burn
ing with fever, or while suffering a
nePous attack, I may havo written a
rportion of those letters. Tho rest aro
base forgeries, of course, and you are
holding them over mo as a menace
Is that wifely?"
"Why. Mr. Bowser, do you deny
your own hand-writing?"
"I haven't seen the writing and
don't want to. Don't threaten mo,
Mrs. Bowser. I can be coaxed, but
not driven. Cases have been known
where husbands walked. out and never
returned."
But that was only his way of wrig
gling out, of it. The next day ho sent
me up a new dress, took baby for a
bmg walk, and at present is tho most
docile husband in Detroit. Detroit
Free Press.
TOQUES AND TURBANS.
The
Vnrtous Styles In Which They
Aro
Muile by FuHhluniible Milliners.
Toques, turbans and walking hats
are mado in various styles for young
ladies to uso for general wear, and aro
adopt&l for morning hats by thoso who
aro older. Paris milliners aro send
ing over round toques in contrast to
the long oval-crowned toques import
ed from Regent street, which English
women of fashion adopted at first
merely to wear with tailor gowns, but
which they aro now using with their
handsomest costumes. Tho round
French toques aro mado of velvet or
of cloth in threo soft puffs around the
head, separated by folded bands of
gros grain ribbon, and havo a soft
wrinkled crown which is covered nnd
flattened on tho right side by a very
largo rosette of tho ribbon, with its
longest loops coming forward almost
to tho front. This stylo is youthful,
and is excellent for hat3 of a single
color, the velvet and ribbon being all
brown or all black or gray, as best
suits the gowns of tho wearer, a black
toque being now appropriate with
dresses of any color. Other velvet
toques havo fur tips for their only
trimming, as short tails of sablo with
a miniature sablo head set in
tho front of tho soft crown. Rib
bon toques aro also new, and aro in
tho long English shape: two kinds
of ribbon are used, velvet in one row
draped along tho brim, and ending
in two rosettes in front, while tho
crown is covered with three lengthwise
rows in loose folds of tho now satin
ribbon that has raised cords in it. or
else gros grain ribbon; these form
standing kops in front between tho
velvet rosettes. Black velvet ribbon
with a green ribbon crown makes a
stylish toque, or cream velvet with
fawn robbon crown, brown with cardi
nal, or olive with red, matching tho
two colors that aro combined in tho
costume. Tho handkerchief turban is
a pretty caprice, with tho crown
draped with a square of black velvot
on which white gros grain is sot liko a
hem or binding half an inch or moro
in width. Rosetto turbans havo soft
rosottes of doubled silk thickly gath
ered set in front of shirred velvet
crowns. Other volvot turbans havo a0
frill falling on tho lowor edge, with a
gathored band, and abovo this a soft
puffed crown. Embroidered cloth tur
bans may bo merely scalloped on tho
edges, but many aro covered with em
broidery. Thoro aro also very rich
embroidered cloth lcavos and bands
that aro used to trim tho sides of vol
vot and plain cloth turbans. Braiding
and cording aro also fashionablo on
these small hats. Long slender oxi
dized silver pins, daggers, and clasps
aro fashionable ornaments. Ribbon
bows aro very tightly strapped with
long loops, and theso rival rosettes in
popularity. Harper's Bazar.
Fish That Annoy the Diver.
As to tho fish tho diver soes, thoy
aro legion. Thoy swarm all around
him. Hideous sculpins peer into his
oye-windows aud grin horribly, and
snako-liko eols glide ovor his foot and
squirm round his legs, nnd crabs and
lobsters claw at his clothing and mako
themselves, familiar in a cordial man
nor that would mako anyono oxcopt a
stoical diver go out of tho water. But
It's tho simplo, ovory-day porch, tho
llttlo fish that tho boys catch at tho
wharves that bother tho dlvors tho
most. Thoy seem to think his fingers
aro bait, prepared by an overruling
providence for thero special appotito,
and accordingly thoy nibblo nnd gnaw
tho baro flesh with tho samo persist
ency that they employ in dovouring
anglo-worms sont down on fish-hooks.
You see, it's not fashionablo anions
divers to wear gloves whon diving in
warm wator. Gloves would ereatlv
decreaso tho dellcacv of touch with
which tho diver examines tho slimy
pllo in search of worms. Philadelphia
inquirer.
m
"What's tho matter. Darrlnpor?
You look dispirited." "I'm troubled
with too much mother-in-law." "That's
bad, old boy. How often docs sho visit
you?" "Twleoa year." "That Isn't
ofton, Darringer." "No. It Isn't, only
that sho stays six months at u time."
Tim.
1
Mrs. Cleveland has booomo nn ex
port lawn tennis pluyer. She Is able
to grvo a bull with skill and onore-v.
and har voHnintr Is remarkably .if.
fectlvo.