o
.4?
tiic a allows i.v sraiiT.
Jfte ConttrmnrH Anarelilfl Sot Aceor1eit
Another rrlal by tliuttc Oury,
Cnicico, Oct. ".At 9 o'clock this morning
a few J olltc paced back ami forth In front of
the criminal court. '-This Is sentence day."
said many on the streets, as they hastened
toward th fpot In hopes of entering
the i lexeme of Judge Gaiy and wlti.cfshu:
the teirsatIon.il scenes, but only one In tun
could tret I'V the tuards at the outer door, and
iv 10 o'clock tne disappointed one formed
quite an iifs-embhigo on iln comers aul in
front of the court house huilulntr.
Inside the court room the yellow curtain
vveredo'vu ami the brightness of the nuti-r
davhed a Manner iigtit on tlie asetnllHue.
At lOo'eloek the i risouers were In their senl.
They were not stolid and Indillerent as so
often before. A cluinici liatl eulne over some
of them and they all exhibited evidences of
great concern.
Jndsc Gory in delivering his decision, re.
viewed at considerable length the evidence
broucht out at the trial, and tatd conceiuing
the Instructions to which exception was taken
by the defense: "On the question of the In
structions, whelhcr these defendants, or any
of them, did anticipate or eiteci the throwing
of the bomb on the niu'ht oi the 4th of May,
Is not n question which 1 reed to consider, be
cause the Instructions did not go uKn that
ground. The jui were not Instructed to llnd
them pulpy if ihev believed that they partici
pated in the tliiowing of the bomb, or hud
knowledge that H was to be thrown, or any
thing of that soit. The convict on has not
gone upon tin- ground that the. did have nnv
actual turn Nation In the act vv h ch caused
the denth of Di g.m, but upon the gr uml un
der the in'tructi" is, that they hud trenernlly,
by speech and print, advi-ed u large e'tis io
commit mtiiilui, ai..l bud left the ocei-ion,
time and pi cc to the Individual mil, vvnim
and caprice of the Individuals so ndviscd, and
tliut in c n-cqneiice of that advice and in
pursuance of it. and influenced by it, some
body not known, did tlirow the bomb tnat
Cflil-ed I) Iran's death. Now, under tin se
cheum-tanccs, In tin; lnllamed statu of
the pubi c mind, at the time each of tlie-e ora
tors at the lliiv market was still more inflaming
the publ e mind when he ailv.sed the people io
use toice, and nunc man. 1 do not say Identi
fied or unident lied, some man in that croud,
when the m1,cc appiouclied with n bomb of
LIugiT'it manuraetuic kills Degan; all who
have advised such action an; guilty of h,s
muider. If anything can be piovi-n bv ciieinn
stautlal evidence that Is proved; that he threw
that bomb In consequence of the inllueiieo
which these teachings this advice by speech,
bv print ng over a course of two year.-; that
the man who threw that bomb had been edu
cated up to it by the teachings of these defendant-'.
'I he case, as I said befoie, Is unpre
cedented There is no example oi inn such
crime having been committed; there is Iio
precedent of any c.is like this bavins: become
the subject ol 'judicial Investigation; but the
principle of law is ncll lixed."
The court then passed to the objections
urged aualnst the form of the sente ce and
quoted from the one hut dred ami u nth Illinois
on the x i lit and said thrie was nothing In the
circumstances anything less than minder
The instructions in regard to manslaughter
might have oeen refused. 'Fliers was no rea
son for them at all.
Passing to the alleged dlsqual'llcatton of the
jury on account of having read re oris In t lie
papers of the crime, and having foimed opin
ions thereon, he thought the xew York de
cisions settled the case, and that if veiUlels
were to be set aside for the reasons tuged, that
it would be the surest wav to bring about au
arcln, for there would be r.o way In which the
government could be maintained and the law
administered. He concluded hy saying: "I
think, uHin the whole, that no 'ease coul II Ik1
tried of siieh magiiii tide as this with less in
the way of irregularity of proceeding hi the
trial than was done In" this ease. 'J he motion
must be overruled."
The court then addressed the prisoners as
follows:
'Prisoners at the bar: For the first time
durngths painful and protracted proceed
ing it Is my dut. to speak to von ami call up
on you Indivually and separately now to say
whether you have anything to "say whv sen
tence sin nil not be parsed upon ou accord
ing to the verdict of the Jurv. I will first call
upon Mr. Ne. be."
Captain H ack "Let mo suggest to your
honor that 1 am advised that the defen hints
expect to speak in response to this seveially,
at conidenihl" length. Would it not be bet
ter now lo adiourn ii'i'll 5 o'clock?"
The eourc then adjourned to 2 in.
When Ihe court was opened this afternoon
the defendant. Spies, at ouce addressed the
court with mannscilpt In hand. He said:
"Your honor, In addressing this court I
speak as the icpresentative of one class ad
dressing the reprcenlallve of another. I will
begin vith the words ad trussed SOO years ago
on a slm lur moilon hy the Venetian doge
who, addicting the court, said: 'My ch fen-e
is (out uei u-atiou. 'i he cause of my ulleged
crime is vcmr ni-iory.
"I have been indicted on a charge of mur
der us an nccinpl ce or accessory. I'pon this
iud ctiiient 1 have been convicted. There was
no evidence pi odiiced b. the Mat" to show or
even Indicate ti at I had any knowledge of the
man who th ew that bomb, or that I
in self hud nm thing to do with It. Not the
sliglncst i vhlenee was ever produced to show
that I had air thing to do with the throwing
of the missel unless you be I ve the testimony
of the aeco i p ees of tile stiit. 's attorney an I
Honll Id, the testimony of Thompson and
G diner. If there was no evidence lo show
that I was rest ousihle for It, then my execu
tion on the v. r llet is nothing but' willful,
mallcieus and deliberate murder, as foul a
murder as may b.- lound in the annals of re
ligious, isilitieul or an other sort of persecu
tion. Judical niurd.rs have In many eases
been committed wheie tlie repieenlatives of
the slate were acting in good laith, belli vug
their victims lo be gnl'ty of the charge they
were accu-ed of In tnU case the representa
tives of tlie stale cannot sh eld themselves
with slmlar excu-us. for they them
selves hare frabricated most of
the teMtmoi v wh'cli was used as n pretense to
convict us We w re convict si by a jury paid
to convict ii-. I flange the state's nt'oinev
and Houlleld with a conspiracy to commit
muider 1 u .11 now state n little Incident
which may throw some light on this. Oi the
evening ol the lluwiiur et meeting about j
0 clock, I met n yo.mg man, KL-ekner by
nam-. Al. brother via with me at the time
and ncv r h fi me on that evening until I
juuiM-i Irom the wagrm a reiv j -eonds before
the explo-ion oec urrod. He knew 1 ha I not
seenfcchuiili on .hat eveiiiug an 1 he knew
that no such con versa t on evi r took p acu
Iwtweeu IW as hat test fled to bv J ompson.
He knew 1 never struck a match and Ignited
the fuse in the bomb. He Is not u socialist.
Why did we not bring him here and put bun
on ihe stand ou ask. Because the honorable
repies utalives of Gilmied ami llnnlleld
spirited him away. They knew Ills testimony
would prove the perjury of Thompson and
Gilmer.
"I will refer to the tet mony given by a few
of our wltne-ses. The wage-workers began to
ay a few th ng verv objectlona le to some of
our patrician frlrnils. They thought eight
hour's of toil mi IV to constitute a elm's work.
Hie rabble uujit lo be slleucej; H'mui felt
Bonflelcl was the man to consummate the wMi
es of the Cil iicus' association; Houlleld, with
a Vlage that oi ly needs to be seen to be mis
trusted; he was the man to do thii work. If
1 hud i brown that lomb. if 1 knew the man
whodld throw It, I would not hesitate to oven
It, This, our honor. Is cue reason whv ten
fence or death should not be passed uixiii me
In a court of Justice, ir that term can be i
plled to that tribunal. 1
'1 remi iiiIh t that the Chicago Tr lime of
Februar. at, I&s5, contn ne.1 a IcmgHcfimnt of
dynamite hmun to l use I against reho.lliMH
workingineii Why was not the edllnr of tne
Triltu t trb-d for remrtlng the cblrlnes of
dviiMinlle. for that U all the A I Ur It iui
did) Ami win was not the editor of tlm a
i . . ..en i.. i.i. . i .
xtS iWWXVc
your honor, lo nunther leasou why seutence of
denth should not lie prouo meed. I
"I lmv Iwen u rcl.ient of th i city for at
loiiu u time ms (irlniie I, and M cood u one. I
know I th oiild not hke to lie coraimrec t b-m.
He lia pieahd to the patriolUm oi the jury,
but In answer lo that I shall quote from an
English statesman: 'l'ntrloiism is the last re
sort of a scoundrel.' The system of wages 1
the root of the present social Iniquities iniqui
ties so monstrous as to cry to heaven. Grluuell
has Informed us that anarchism was on trial.
Anarchism belongs to speculative philosophy
and not a word whs said about anarchism a't
the Hauuarket. Hut If anarchism Is on trial
I am proud to say I am an anarchist. You
may pronounce vour sentence on me, honora
ble judge, but let It be known that In the
vcar lSMi, in the s ate of Illinois, eight men
have lost their faith in human progress. It I
the old question. Look over those pages of
the liltor. of Greece and Home. There ou
will see the record of the self-same struggle
the ruling class dominating the injoier one.
Honorable Judge,
Tin: iinnivs or hem. worui jniv
In the laughter that fol ows jour seiuenc If
the opinion of the court Is to become law,
then there is no person in tlr country who
could not be hiwlullv hung. 1 say that upon
that law every person in this country could be
convicted of consp racy, or, as th 'case may
b", of murder. Kv rv member of the trades
union, Knights of Luhor, or any such organi
zation can be convicted of conspiracy. If volt
curry that ruling Into effect you vdl be 're
sponsible for the blood that will be shed and
and the blood of the Innocent will bj uxu
you.
" Seven pollcomrn have died,' said Grln
ncll. You want life for life and have eonvieted
an equal number of men of whom it cannot be
truthfully said that thev had a"thlng what
ever to do with the killing of H'mfleld's v.e
tlms. The very same sstem of jurisprudence
can lie found among various savage people and
tribes. Injuries ate equalized so to sp ak bv
tlie iiifl'ctioii of a similar wrong to that re
ceived at the eiilinles hamK They are not
particular as to the iesvonslblllty of the Iden
tity of the persons sacrificed so "long us they
have life for life. This principle prevails to a
considerable extent among the natives of the
Sandwich Islands. If we are to be hanged
upon these principles, then let It be kiicmn.
Let the woil I know what a civilized and C hris
tiali country Is this, in which the Vandei bills,
the Jay Goulds and the lest pose as the res
cucis of law and liberty. Grinnell lias re
peatedly said 'Our couniry Is an enlightened
couiitn.' Well, he m iy put that in his album.
"If your honor thinks that by the execution
of this vcidict you can stamp' out the labor
movement, you do not comprehend the power
of that nrghty mov ment from which the
down-trodden find miserable children of toll
lii'i'e for relief. You know not where the blaze
will next break out. It Is a subterranean lire
that you cannot put out. The ground is on
iir "'"iu which )uu siaud. You want to stamp
out the consp racv. You resemble a child that
is looking forhls p'cture behind a minor. What
jou see and what you try t grasp In our move
ment Is nothing but the creation of ou oui
bad consciences. If vou want to stamp out
the conspiracies and ilic agitator. ou must
stamp out every factory lord, who has made
his money from ground "down and oppressed
lobor is and farmers. It Is a fact that a few
men control our mcchaii'cal appliance, out of
which they make gold by sacrificing the little
children, while able bodied men are starving.
But we cannot go back. e are advancing.
tiic tiki: CAN'NOT in; sroriT.o.
One of mi clergym in fi lends, shortly before
my arrest said: 'You are organizing-!! revolu
tion.' ThN was my reply: 'A revolution can
not he organized cannot be created It Is not
any mnie the work of men than earthquakes
or cyclones. We are simply preparing the
comlit cms of the revolution.' Does that hxk
as It I contemplated that violence be commit
ted on May 1, or May 1, as has been charged.
"Capitalists of that school of economy
teaches how one class can live off another,
while socialism teaches how all can possess
riches, but at the same time it demands that
all men shall work honestly for their living.
In socialism is to be lound the doctrine of
co-operation. It teaches that labor saving
machinery Is the pioperty of the state as are
tlie mines nnd the natural resources of the
country. Society will eventually come to this
and will demand its lights, though vou erect a
gallows at ever stieet corner.
Concerning inv associate. I will say this:
I never saw Lingg but twice before my arrest.
I have not been on speaking terms with Kugel
for over a year, and I'i-chcr, my lieutenant,
went about making speeches against me. If
you think you can crush out thee ideas,
which are gaining g-ouud every day. by send
ing u to the gallows that vou can suppress
truth, for that Is all we hare been Drenching.
jou will fall.
I hen nourishing hi arms wlldlv. Snles
fair v shrieked: - shall die proud v. defiant
ly, for the cause of justice. There s" Socrates.
there is (nillleo, I ere is ulorclano, Ilruno,
there Is Chr st -wlr , the number cannot bo
csiimat d of those who have trodden in tlicsu
paths, and we are ready to follow them."
U-iar reei-, me mAi i-,.e.i i, mid no
sooner taken the lloor than he burs, into vh-
leiil abii3 , calling Slate's Attorney fiiliincl a
cur, his assistants, Messrs. Walker and Furth-
man, scoundrels; saying theie was only one
gentleman In tlie crowd, and that was Mr.
Ingham. The police were assailed, and hi
short Neehe's speech w as a p'l fect tirade of
abuse, villifying tlie police and authorities.
Hes.ild: "I have found out during the last
fev davs what the law is. 1 knotv now that I
have been arrested, charged and convicted, on
account ol Paving kinnv o tp es and ,c..vi.i.i.
This time 1 presided at a mei tuig on West
Lake street, to wh eh vour In nor, as well , is
all the other capi.u its and judges of thecl y,
were Invited. I considered it an honor to oe
elected chairman of th .t meeting. I acted us
liiaishal of the pioeesslon ol the uorUingmc i
ot the city of Chicago to protest against their
w longs, anil I, an American born, for I lie llr-t
time learned that It was against the laws oi
thiscouiitiy The friend ol t ie labor agita
tor and the marshals of labor ili inoii-liutioiis
vv II know in future that It is a irl.ue."
Ncelellien went on to describe the manner
In which the Arbe let- '.id wj ofjlcc was raided
bi the Millce. and nhii-id llieni for their ac
lion cm that occasion. He said th - police were
always able to catch a woikiug an, a p Mir,
clow ntioddeu wieteli. but thorn. u tbeiu were
1,2 X) policemen in the city, who had ever
heuid of a tmllccinun catch ng a buigl.irl
They cou d make out uca-e of burghu y ugai st
a man, but who ever h aid of them catching a
blirglurl Then Net be iibaiul me himself lo a
wild appeal for the judge to hang him with
the oth rs. He tried: "It would le more
le nor.ible to be strangled by the neck than to
die by Inches. My wile and ch Mien wid then
gel over It s iinc tune, but they can never get
over It If their husband and father is s -nt to
Jol t. Hang me, your honor. With my com
rades." Louis Lingg, the bomhnrikcr, cviress'd a
wish to have h s say iu German, and an I iter
pieter was place 1 al his service. In cleep
clicte I tones Liugz exclaimed: "Court of
justice, with the same cciut-iut with which I
1 1 ii v . ir.e 1 to live I. u ii .nit on this American.
I am in w granted privilege to speak. L 1 do
Speak it is because 111 iig.iit.cn nave bivu heap
ed iiKin me in th s conn."
LiiiL'g declined it bad not been p-oven Hint
nnv b aiilis made by him ha I been ta u-n lo the
Iliiyiuurket. He licensed the H)li-.v of steal
ing h a books ami clothing in I lie station ami
then perjuring themselves agu.u-l him on the
witii. sg siainl.
'Griiiucll," shouted Lingg, "has conn 'rod
with mi-er.ilile jHUiple to fct evidence to kill
me, when he knows I was dr veil to the course.
1 pursued to g iln cducut.o.i V,r my brothers
to I, ft them up "
As the youthful anaichlst slowly progressed
with hi (-Jeccli Ms form s.-emed to swell and
dilute vvliii the lutens ty o h s feel ng.. His
frame shook with passion and his guttural
voice uir.-d for Ii torrents of emphatic sen
tences iu bU native language He strode
impatiently hick and forwarl while tlie Inter
preter triinsl.it d i'mcIi sentenou, and occasion
kllv emphiislz d his vvouK by a violent blow
upon Hie Utile tunle In ironl of him
At last, turning nercely lo the state's at
torney Lingg rnurel: '"You sinllu because
you think I will never ttc l-nub again. I
die M liiuuly on the gallons with tlm same
cunt iu,it for death thai I have fur your
laws."
Captain Hlnck here as'o-d the court to
-'Thei;
, , , , ,,
Contractor David H. Allen, of Kama City,
u killed Monday by tlm fall of uu embank-
n,,.,t t the tone qu. rry beloiigmi; U Mr.
Join, FI mi al the corner of liroadwaj- and
Ague uvi-nue.
VllIVVS ABOUT Tltli FA 11! SVX.
Mrs. Lanjtrr lias the reputation ol being
n very generous person.
The Baroness Burdette-Coutts wants nil
the young men to tnnrry.
Mr. Julio Ward Howe's two dniiRhters
both belong to the profession o! journalism
Mrs. Locan, the wile ol Senator Logan, U
soon to return to Wushinston lor the win
ter.
Mr.. Livermore I sbnrpftilng her psncll
nreimrictory to demolishing Ouidit In i
tiiNgtizine iu tide.
Mrs. Fotsoiu U going to make her liotm
nt "Pretty Prospect," President Cleveland n
country place.
Mine, l'atti will give u fnrewell concert In
the Albert hull, London, before sailing tor
the I'nited States.
The Prince of WiileV dntuhters liftvu
titkeit it into their royal heads Unit they
would like to cross the oceun In ft yacht
like Mrs1, llenu.
Mis. Antm L. Jack, the novelist, writes,
looks niter the dinner, sews on buttons for
twelve children nud looks to her husband's
shirt..
Miss Celia Tliaxter 1ms made the Islo ol
Klieinls more famous tlmti tho Isles ol
Greece, but lor winter quarters and solid
comfort she prefer. Boston.
Mrs. Buyarcl Taylor snys she enjoys Uv
ins Xw York bettor tliuti any other city
in America. It was the scene of her lina
baud's literary triumphs.
A plucky Dakota, girl, Mis Stanley by
inline, lias lived alonu all stuninc-i- on her
claim, near Watcrbury. She wouldn't
have a man around lor a pension.
Miss lllnata, a Japanese lady, is study
lug iu a western Maryland college propara
tory to enjneing in a mission work iu
Japan. She is a very intelligent and
attractive girl.
Miss Anna Dickinson has beon summer
ing in the Wyoming valloy, and she lecls
much refreshed ami iu condition for the
literary work which she proposes to en
(juge in during tlie winter.
Mrs. Knto Cimso Spragtie is living quietly
iu Now York with her daughter, but will go
back to Paris after the body of her lather
has been transferred to Spring Gro.e ceme
tery at Cincinnati.
Charlotte Walter, Countess O'Sullivnn,
tho gieat tragedienne, resides during the
summer in Weissenbach on tho banks of
tlie Attersee, whercsho has boon visited by
the Empress ol Austria.
.t coMixa i. Aiion sntraoLK.
Tlie Cliletiyo 1'arlserit itctennhietl on mm.
(iinifny ihe Ten Hour System.
Chicago special: That the packers wil
return to tho ten-hour system thore now
ex sts no doubt. Monday next has boon
settled upon as tho day. On Saturday
employes will be notified and ou Monday, if
they fail to accept the system, the houses
will bo shut clown. 1 he announcement
yesterday that tho packers had resolvod iu
secret session to return lo the old system,
created consternation niuoug thousands ol
employes, while thousands of others re
Riirdcd the allowed move as a blulf. Tho
rumor gained fresh impel us and created
genuino alarm when it became known that
tho head hog buyer for Armour & Co., and
acting through the Pork Packing associa
tion, notified the officers of tho Live Stock
exchange that tho pork puckers would sus
pend operation Monday unless tlieirlabor
eis would iiuron to work ten hours for ten
hours' pay. The officers of the exchange
nt once posted notices lorn special mooting
to-day, the object being to enable commis
sion men to notify then-customers through
out the country of the prospect of a great
stiiko, and to not ship .my stock to tho
Chicago inarkot ponding tho difficulty. A
genuine troiuor was discornablu in labor
circles this morning. The laborers assert
thnt they will not lolinquish their grasp on
that which they ha vo gained nud labored
so haul to keep. Theie is a grent deal ol
incendiary talk. The men will not go back
to Ihe ten hours system, and tile probabil
ities are that they will not allow anybody
else to do so. They aver that at the pres
ent system of work they are doing as mush
as under tho old system. It is now rorta n
that I he hog packers hnvo consolidated as
well ns tho labor element. Armour will
shut down and it is supposed ho will be
iolloned br others but what will be dono
la the bee! I.illiiu hoiiso is unknown, nnd
every effort failed tn elicit anything regard
ing them. Tlie lock-out will throw 25,01)0
men out ot woi It.
A lrOMAS'S VOI.ITIVM. TlltV H'l 11.
Flint (Mich.) dispatch: It ivus nearly
four o'clock t bit morning whon tho fusion
convention sncrceded iu nominating a can
didate for congress from the Fifth distiict.
Tlie convention was a row from I he si art
to finish, when tlie forty-fifth ballot result
ed in the. choice of J turn Fediiwn, who is
now prosecuting attorney of Clinton coun
ty. I'eilnvva is a democrat, and his nomi
nation wiih secured tlnoiuh the efforts ol
two greenback leaders.
Tlie chief eicdii of Feduwn's success isbv
nil odds clue to his law pnrtiier, Mrs, Addie
htru-Mand. blie was pro-ennnniilly the
best man iu tint i onvenii.ni. No finer exhi
bition of shrewd political inaiiageineiit was
overfceen iu the state. Aloi t. cool, digni
fied nnd able, she mniiiiulnlel nil the con-
11 cling eleineiitH with a uinsteilv lniiid and
brought I be ciniveut mi captive to her feet.
Her conduct was the wimdor nnd ndmirn
tion even nt her ioionents. Frank M
Fogg, a lawyer, was her able lieutenant, hut
it was conceded that no oilier ilelezn e
couhl liaveHccompbahed wluit slie did, Tho
result is not satisfactory to tho greenback-
eis. wiio say tlm men they reoieoont will
not vote lor a dcmocint.
HOUR IfASIltSOTOS OOSSTF.
Wnrdepartment clerks express profound
regret at the determination of Sot-rotary
ICmlicott to retire from public life. They
ha ve found him uiiexacting and a firm ad
vocate ol civil servico law. Uvery man
feels confident thnthis position Is secure ho
long us Kmlicott is in charge, ami has a na
tural (head of a change. The secretary la
not in sympathy with tho duties of Ids
olllce ami not having tho positive charac
ter of his predecesBor, Lincoln, he is greatly
nunoyiMl by the jealousy of army officers,
out Is strong enough to contend with the
hot-headed people he has temporary com
mand ol. The trouble b 'tween hlmsolf and
General Sheridan, and between the hitter
ami General Drum, und again botweon Gen
erals Uownrd, Miles nud Drum has had
tlie effect ol turning him against all thluji
having a military flavor.
Party feeling lietween the Hindoo and Mo
hamme laua In Delhi. In I la. it runniutr hl-'h
tscauieof the murlcrof a Mohauimodan re.
' n I .
ctiiiiy. bloodshed u feared.
ART OF LAUGHING.
;t CcmixIm. ot t'liciitni'ly Pacini
C onfort Ion.
Why is it people don't liko U bo
nujrhi'cl at? What is laughter atty
,vn ? Ajiparenlly it very innocent
lVair; a muscular contoriipn rntcly
t crMicly twist of tho features-. Couhl
on .inaglne anything tnoro ltuighablo
haii to hnvo CTmrles Snntnef ami
l'oai Cot w n brought into social con
net for an hottf? Sumner always felt
jf a joke as ho wouiel the handles of
l bat i cry, anil tho result was u shock.
'le l.ateel a joker. Corwin was cor
rtiscating w.lh w.l and fun in spilo of
liiusrlf. He was the greatest states
atau and vvit combined tlie country
aas ever produced. Ho d cd at last a
fern have mectt a vast dischurgo of
,ect Hushing t,n,l Hhnniiiat ng, nnd
.hen suddenly all was darkness for
iver. I. ucoiti, however, was more
jritu. lie was not so royally a laugher
is C cirvviu. lint what would v
rou ir.ve
;o ee the span in I'ar.-idise?
AIM OK MAKtNc; LAlfJIITF.l!.
Jo'.ni 1!. (lough's l-et 111 ng was to
:c!l .lit audience that ho intended very
loon io nuke thorn laugh laugh at
.om-thiiig silly. He gave, thotii piepar
tuuy not eo liial what ho was going to
itiy aiiiounted to notliiug; was not
ioith laiioniiig at: yet they would all
i!iii;.-li iheiitseives tired, 'lhen ho went
!i r, ol:y to do it. And they always
h i laugh: and then looked at each
,'il.iT to see what thuy wetu laughing
it. No one ever found out. ami Joint
ia.il to tiieni: 1 told yoti so.'1 Ho had
he art of making laughter. He was
aoi hinisolf a good laugher by any
jieastire. In private he was decidedly
i sober, matter-of-fact man.
There i not an animal that I know of
that does not try to laugh, and make;
ionic approach to it, only none of tlieiu
taw ii' good laugh ng muscles ns we
mve. It is partly a matter of cheeks,
'iut what a j dly nll'air a dog is when
ii s master ionics home! lie splits up
t rearing laugh between li.s head and
a.l. lietween tho two his whole body
,v contorted into grins that finally work
nil" as baths. They say wild dogs do
.ot bark, ll is because they do not
.nigh.
ou should always have for a family
Jocior a man who can laugh. A laugh
nee saved my life. It never is so ttsc
i;tl as by way of medicament. Aly dou
or tells a good story and has a genu ne
itnile. .Smiles are generally hail' genii
iic. They are mo-tly grins not sniotli
;red. When your doctor looks checr
:ul and hopcltil, you catch it of him.
'i iieolii. hearing tho country on Ins
.o:i't in hours of disaster, fortunately
loultl laugh General W. Julian tells
;s that when Lincoln approached the
anghiiig spot in a good story, he
nnuld lilt his left foot to h s right knee,
vtid clinch ng his foot with both hands
mid bending forvvaid his whole fratuo
on ulscil with his sensations of delight.
Wlir.N WASIIIMITON l.Al'C.lini).
Washington N never known to have
auglied lint once. It was at Valley
Forge. He had ordered that whoever.
) llicer or private, goi drunk should bo
oinpelied lo cut a .sttinii iu pieces.
'Allele the camp was formed these
tumps were civ ei'abiiiul.uit. Olio
i. orniiig wIi.Ih making his tour of ob
'eival on lie came upon a sold. or who
as chopping out tin: very lasl slump,
i'.'.ishiiigton ealled to liim pleasantly,
Well, gool follow, you hac! found
lie last stump." "Yes, sir," growled
he man, and now when an olliecr
els drunk there won'l bo a slump left
or him.'' 'Ihe General laughed heart
v and looked at his ollieers as if lhen;
.eio some of them enl.lled lol'ei.'l relief.
Carl vie. in '-Sartor Kesarttts," tells
if laughter tlod takes in (lie whole
nan, from head , to heeds. 1 hero are
is many styles of laughter as there arc
iiighcrs. Une begins slowly, tho fun
ji-ntly creep? out, along the risible
imseles; tneii the hands 11 v up, the
ei t lly out and the mouth flics open.
i.s man becomes the victim of a
oko, ior n is ver iiuiti-uii to stop wnen
io gets to a reasonable maximum.
Join Jones that is not h s name, but
hat makes no dllh reaco hero never
niiglis without suih a rti'sli of blood to
ns head that 1 am afraid for h s life.
Laughter is as much a niatlor of
'tvlo as language. There is an Eastern
augli, si ghtlv coiiservat vo, and
rimed up at the ends, with culture.
J'liero is a western laugh that is broad,
full, unreserved, open and hilar ous.
l'iio Englishman's laugh is self-con-
ciotis and more or less inconsiderate.
J in- Frenchman's laugh is cons derate
and courteous. Dickens' laughter is
m olly unlike Thackeray's. You can
never ou te avoid feeling that lltack-
: ray's laugh is personal; ho laughs at
rou. ur all the laughers alive there
s none equal in good fellowship to Dr.
Ionics. There should be a bit of
pathos in a sound laugh. 1 1 let llaile
uis it. Uf all the humor sts by pro
fess. on only Al. Quad has it. Cor. St.
Lvitts UlobC'JJttiiocnit.
Never Snlisileil.
A man found $1C8 a few days ago
nnd tho owner rewarded him with a
pair of supondeis. Upon receiving
tho reward, instead of being satisfied,
lie ki ked himself because the sum of
money wasn't twice as large. When
Rskcal why lie wished the sum hud been
larger, he sa d that he would have stood
a show of getting a pa r of pants to
match the new suspenders. Some men
are never satisfied: iu these days, grati
tude can only be found with a search
warrant, he was in big luck to get the
iUopenders. I'ecL'n Nun.
Toiird to Order.
Actors having pathetic parts are ad
vised that modern science has found
(he means of producing nrtilleial tears.
Tho essential oil of onions can now bo
extracted. A single drop of this od
anon the handkerchief produces a How
of tears; two drops cause persistent
sobbing, and three grief of tho most
MiH'ocating and gasping kind. I'arit
i Mjaro.
"Auchl That horrid mail stepped ou my
Oft toe." "My dear joung lady, that la Im-
xMtlblc. Hon- cuu u pel son havilig inch n
juuium mumooi jou pe-e. a uiK cci
M . . .. - I 11,
JJtrIln 7'iw.m.
NIGHT Of! 1 lib. DIG BRIDGE.
-
Vhat .Mny Ito roii ami Heard Tbcre
i:.ii-ririH-i' of Hie Nlulit Police
Slu-lrUi for lle'lp from tho
ltlvor.
The sights and sounds on the Now
York and llronklv n bridge at night dif
fer from those of the day, says The
Setv York Tribune. n niurli as the
great n:c of elective lights on that aerial
highway difl'or from the glare of Irgh
noon. Cottntn nu n bv the hundreds
drift dly across the strut lure b. Ivvcou
l stinr so and sunset even day. People
j visit. ng New York for tho first lime
i linger long on the bridge. They look
I at tho hurrying crowds who rush a'ong
theproininado go ng westward to New
i York in the morn ng and eastward to
bed and board in Brooklyn at night
, fall. They hail over tho parapets, let
I their glances range over the two great
cities throbbing with busv life, mark
the rap d t de of the Kast r,er llowing
under their feet with the Heels and
lings of tho world lvingat the wharves,
idy tho wearied policemen witu count
less quer.es about tho bridge, and then
when they return lo their homes they
talk to their fr ends and acquaintance
for hours cuncei nnig the stupendous
strtictmo. lint they have seen only ono
sido of life on the bridge. It is after
the electric l.gals havesiipidauted tho
day. when the apparently endless
string of vehn-les and luueral races
sieins that have been rumbling across
tho roadway for twelve hours has
owiintieei io an oeea onai truck or car-
na:o that tho se.-oad side of life on
the bridge sets in. The steady roar of
the cities ceases to jar ou the ear ; the
last traveler homeward to llrooklyu
with a weary look on his faej and
thoughts of "supper iu his head has
passed hurriedly on. The mighty arch
is now given over to family groups anil
to lovers.
The last to leave the bridge are tho
lovers-. The young fellow" and his
'best girl" w 11 let blissful compan un
ship ticnch on sleepiness every time.
They form a plensant feature of evening
life on tlie bridge, these lovers. Solitary
among moving crowds, his muscular
arm encircles her waist and she trust
fully .submits to tilts caress. Nobody
not c es them. They tiro too common,
and iu that belief is their great solacn
and assurance, lint, though they love
to linger, by 11 o'clock they are follow
ing in the wake of the vanishing domes
tic o rcles. The benches under thu
lowers become vacant. Perhaps some
lone youth lingers upon them to read
again in the white glare of the olcclr c
ity a missive, well-ihuinhed, dirte and
ini.s-spelled. '1 ho pohccm.in looks al
1 1 in pityingly and passes ou to his litlle
cabin where his can of colieo s miners
gently on the oil stove. "Poor .clgif,"
says the policeman softly lo himself,
"he's oatiii' his vvh.te bread now." Tho
policeman gots S'J a day and has to sup
port a wife, iiiother-in-law, and eight
children out of that. He pities the
young fellow out on thu bench, lint
the young fellow doesn't care for the
policeman, lie cons the letter with the
iniilty orthography, anil his ardent af
fection for I ho wnler grows with in
creased fervor.
Midnight sees the last lover gone
from tlie bridge. At that hour the po
licemen are changed. The members of
the night squad that then comes ou
wear ciilVeient expressions from those
of the day men. The stony stare and
curt reply of the day policeman, who
delights lo free.e tlie marrow in the
bones of count ri men sueliiiig nforma
t on, lind no imitators among the night
palrol. The nightman walks wit i i any
passing foot travi-lerso long as tho lat
ter will be beguiled. When Ihe foot
travelers cease io amuse, thore i.s n-tial-
an animated d alogue go.ng on lie
tween the policeman ou the promeiia le
and his neighbor down on the drive
way. These intellectual exchange? of
v.ews have a wide scope, and embrace
relig on, politics, pli losophv, and ihe
price and quality of the various brands
of c-liow.ng tobacco. 'Jh-rn are no
jumping cranks lo worry tho soul and
ta the vis on of a n ght policeman.
lint there is no lack of incidents to n
t crest the night watchman. A loporter
crossing the bridge at il o'clock ono
morning noticed a poileemui leaning
over the parapet in a l.sten n aliunde.
The reporter stooped and listened.
Faintly on the nlglit air lie couhl hear
cries that sccmod to come from far up
the East river, about opposite Have
movers' sugar relinery. A woman was
screaming ".Murder! Murder!" Present
ly the cries ceased.
"What i.s it?" asked the reporter.
"Some devillshness go ng ou down
on thu river," muttered the policeman.
Wo often hear cries ol people u dis
tress out ou the riv r. Wo are helpless
lo do nnv thing up here, lly and by the
cries slop, and that is the last of it.
Sometimes we see a man go down lollie
dock We can sen lnni plainly by tlm
light jump into the rivor. Jf hoover.
conic out, wo never see him.
An Utter liiipossibilify.
"Why don't you brace up. and ba a
man dim. and cease wear ng that cro-s
grained sour visaged frontispiece?"
"1 hate mankind, female kind, and
the devil himself, ' replied the misfit
politciau.
"I don't think I would make life mis
erable, simply because you have been
disappointed in your cllbrt to reach
the top round iu a single jump, bo
brace up and be a man, and 1 wdl guar
antee you will get square w.th llio
world.
"I can't do it." replied the man.
"And why not P"
"JJocauno tho world is round."
Carl J'rcUcVs H'tieAty.
Her JJvIileiicu Convicted Illin.
You ought to chow tobacco," said
a would be wit lo a young Judy.
"I am astonished, a.r," indignantly
replied the lady.
"Pardon me miss. I was prompted
to make tho remark, when I looked at
your riNi: cut mouth."
"You use Hint vile weed, and I havo
the best evidence of it,'' replied the
ludy.
"And what evidence hnvo youP"
"That I'LUO you woar,1' lepllod tlie
lailyt--CW 1'ieUUr'a Weekly.
PAYING CASH.
Some tf tbe lfvlls of the Credit Sys
tem In Itetnll lulncs.
Perhaps iu the millennium, of which
:hoc who dream dreams have had fai.
v isions, people may pay as they go. and
thus the accounts of the world wilt be
vastly simplified, sny 'lhc Hun Fran
n'nco ( hronirh. Hut until that tim
'oines we tuny look to see the old erd
it system preva 1, with all its io, .
And thc-e vices are many. Their chid
results is that they make ex stence a
hard struggle for 'thouraiids of hones,
and energet.e business men: that tiny
put a preni utu on dishone-ty; f f at
they waste niacy a good estate in lit gi
tion, and that they forte the men who
p:iv cash to bear a portion of the lur
de n caused by tho improvidence or
knavery of those who live on ere I t. it
is perhaps true, as assorted by poiui. al
economists that credit has many adv. in
lages when properly extended, but the
tendency is always in tho d rection ol
carelessness. If men coul 1 alw.i j
judge the integrity of their noiglilsiri
accurately, the creel t s stem wool 1 be
depr.ved of half its dangers. Hat a
to are all liable to be deceived, tlie cash
plan seems the only sale one. if admit
ed it would put an end to the specula
live ventures which so trcqtiently chs
turn the equil.bruini of trade, and it
would largely restrict the nuinbi-r of
men engaged in all kinds of Iuisiikws,
and would force these men in iii-tc
productive branches of industry. Ono
of the worst evils of the largo cities,
in tins, as in all other countries, is the
overcrowding of nil niei-eant lo busi
ness. 'Pen men desire to ke.-p a store
and earn an easy living where th re ii
legit male bus ness lor only one m -r
chant. The lruit ol' this is liuiioii.
competition and a heavy percentage oi
failures. Every failure means loss tr.
creditors, fieqitenth tho crippling -line
business houses carried on fot
years in an upright and honorable man
ner. Tho general adoption of the cash
system would do much to prevent thii
overcrowding and it would compel hon
esty be-ides.
Hut even granting that in wholesale
trade the credit system oilers niiiiiy ad
vantages to merchants of which it
would be a hardship to depr.ve them,
tho same argument can not be ad
vanced in regard to the rota l trades.
Here i.s the direct meet. ng of the con
sinner w.th the merchant, and there it
no good reason why the cash system
should not prevail. We have inherited
the credit system from England. It h
a relic of tin aristocracy which argues
that Hie plcbcan trader must be kept iii
proper subject on and the b.-st way tc
do this is to withhold as long as possible
the coin which rightfully belongs U
him. The wealthy classes in our large
eastern cites adopted the same ideas
It is no uncommon incident to lim
butchers, grocers, and other retail deal
ers in New York with unpaid account!
of mill.ouaire customers running ovci
two or three vears. The men wil
tell you that they are porlectlv sure tc
be paid in the cud, unless I heir ens.
turners' fortunes should suddenly col
lapse, but they are constantly hamper
ed for the cash which tin so wealths
customers could par w.th e.is bu' an.
parent ly never dream of doing, save ai
long intervals. The dealers send ii.
tlie.r bills regularly ever three or svj
months, but those intimations are re
ceived as a m re matter of routine, am',
it is seldom that any att iiiioti is paio
to them, llola l dealers in almost every
department of trade could parallel
this instance. There was a case re
cently of a dealer iii rare books in New
York who faded because ho was iinabU
to collect I he aceouiiis on his book;
many of them belonging lo wealth)
b Id ophilcs. If ho coul. I have collect
ed these debts wh ch represented only
a far prolit ou what he had pa d foi
the hooks, ho would have escaped tlx
disaster that overwhelmed bun after i
quarter of a century of actvo busiues
life.
A Severe .Judge.
.Tudgo Bieklclon is very sovcra
When a man neglects a summon!
which conies from 15 ckleton's court,
he generally makes up Ids mind to pay
a heavy lino or go topiismi. 'lhen
are times vvln ii tho judge .s cruelly un
just, and still there aro limes wlieu hi
is .-Ira lively mere ltd. IS Ii N .son. uhc
was summoned the oilier day, fa le I tc
appear. When a deputy s ier If had
brought him into court too judge tierce
ly turned upon the iiufoivuuaie man,
and said:
"Mr. Nixon, did you not receive- t
summons to appear before this court
vesterda ?"
"Yes. sir."
"Why didn't you come?"
"1 was sick, your honor."
"A very lamu excuse, sir. Mr. Clerk.
enter up a line of lil'ty dollars against
Mr. is.xon, and, Mr. bh r II take
charge of llio negligent gi-niloiii.in uu
til the lino s pa d."
"Judge," sad Nixoi, "now that J'n
lined, I'll just as well toll you the truth.
1 was drunk yesterday. '
'Ah! Well, that alturs tho o.iso.
Mark oil' the li.te, Mr. C.erk." ArLun
suw Traveler.
Ilcw;trd3 oT Literary labor.
Mr. Julian 11 twthorue. who oiiht to
know boiiiuthiug about It, fort dies,
w.th the results of h s ob irv.u on in
England, thu recent sta omo it of Tin
Jj niitoii N eettttor as to the meaner re
wards of aiitliorsli p, vvhic i, contrary
to popular uotio i, aro really bdovv
what they are here. Hu tdls of a novo!
publ shed some time ago by thu Mao
in. Hans, two or tnoro cut turns of wh ob
were readily sol I, and when the ac
counts wore sqiinr.-d up it was found
that the author owed th - publ slier $'20.
Messrs lllaekwciod. whoso binding it
second to none among Knglidi pit J sh
ers, when apnroachu I by an tint hut
wlio-ii novel ihey had publ shed in
formed him that it was a mi Die cut ri
imiunralio i io have placed t.u r ivuiiui
on the title page. Thor aro probably
n il ton author n Kit jlit'i I. ivs Mr
H iwthor io, who oan s l u n vid. set a
rights iu a m irdue nolo lo 1, for $DU'J
It wouhlti I bit stirpriig to scio ilu
author j 'n ng a Kni.'ht of Lu' o
proe s. ion if th s sort oi ilnng keop
mi, .'i; uu lhuihl.