DISILLUSION.
"Oh, my love hns checks no red
Ab tlm roue!"
So the lover erica, minted,
Fur tho idea llmk hln saint
Kvcr knew the uso ol puiut
Novcr catuo into IiIh head,
I suppose.
"Alabaster Is licr throntl"
Hour lit tn t ill let
linn lie never chanced to note
How his (Inrline Iniiilly blushed,
Ah with dainty hntid b!ip brushed
From the hit' of his rout
Powdered chnlk?
"And licr form in just divine!"
What u Tool!
Come, fond youth, to mo incllno,
And I'll whisper in thine car
Softly no thnt nunc can hear
Tho whole Hccret I opine
Cottoii-wooll
"Hut her wcnlth ot golden hair
Kipplin down!"
All navo you are well inrnro
That tlio hair within wIiokc mesh
8ho has caiiL'ht a lover freHh
Nightly hniiK upon a chair
With htr gown.
Soe her flirting now, close pressed
In tho waltz.
Conic, forRot her! That In best.
TniHt me. 1. too, loved her onre,
And, I learned at hint, fonddunce,
Tlmt her heart's like all the rest
It is fahu!
Somerville Journal.
POOH PILUQUJ5SNE.
Chesterfield is tho littlo sleepy town
In tho Midlands, with t ho crooked
?piro, which lies amidst a congeries of
colliers nnd conl pits, nnd which you
may see from tho railway, midway be
tween Derby and Sheffield.
Many years ago, in the midst of tho
peninsular war, a number of French
prisoners wore interned there.
Many years ago a famous company
of players was acting there in the dingy
littlo theatre down a backyard.
Ono night, when "Tho Magpie, or
tho Maid of Paliscau," was acted, it
was noted that somo hnlfdo7.cn of (lie
exiles, in whom tho nauio of the
play doubtless evoked some memory
of their native lan,d, camo and paid
their hardly-lioardcd ponco to tho gal
lery. Poor fellows! They took their
pleasures as sadly as if they hnd been
Englishmen of tho Fen country.
Tho performer who interested them
most was tho magpie. When she lied
across thostago with the spoon in licr
mouth they applauded incontinently.
At her next aerial flight sho stuck mid
way on tho wire, and tho curtain had
to descend in order to oxtricato her
from this perplexing predicament.
Tho manager, an Irishman and a great
actor in his time, stood at the back of
tho gallery (a very scanty one), and
wrathfully objurgated tho property
man, adding various oaths to his seed,
breed and generation. Up went tho
curtain again, nnd once moro. the mag-
pio tried her night, but in vain, ami
tiio play had to end as best as it could
without tho aid of so important a per
former.
At this moment a fair, fragile boy of
seventeen, with llaxen hair and great
oluo eyes with black lashes and eye-
brows, timidly approached the irate
impressario. Tho fad was in a much
worn and stained French naval uni
form. There was a hectic Hush on his
cheek, and ho coughed slightly, as,
taking otY liis can. ho bowed politely
to tho manager. Then in tho prettiest
broken Mighsh lie commenced:
"Pardon, niillo pardons, Monsieur
Directcur, la pauvre magpie no II v
straight. I make 'or skim along like a
lcttlo butterlly."
"Ah! bo otf wid your broken-down
English, boy," nid tho manager.
"Srmko to mo in tho language of La
Ifello France. Sine, I am a native and
to tho manner born, for 1 got my
twopnnnorth at Douay. lei en parlo
Francais. Ici!" lie exclaimed, with a
furious Irish accent, is ho placed his
'innd on his capacious chest,
Thus urged, the boy explained vol
ubly in hisnativetonimothat ho would
undertake to make tho magpie lly
across the stage without dilllculty.
Tho next minute they wore behind
the scenes. As they approached tho
property room tho manager roared;
"hurry! harry! Come out o that,
you thief of tho world. I wonderyou'ro
not ashamed to Ink mo in the face!"
"I am that same, yer honor," re
nponded tho man; "but sure it wasn't
Larry's fault that some blackguard
was afthor Htickiug a tinpenny nail in
tho old magpio'h gizzard. Had hick to
hor for a basto of a bird.anyhow!"
"Well, here's a young gentleman all
tho way from Franco who's goin' to
sot thocrayturo right," said tho man
ager. Tho French lad bowed ingratiating
ly, and glanced wistfully at tho prop
erty man who at iirat looked daggers;
then ho growled:
"Young gintloinan! Shuro if it
wasn't for tho trousers, it's a young
lady ho'd bo afthor makin', anil a
beauty, too. Ah, well! P'raps his
father was in Itantry Hay in 'l8 with
Gineral HochoandthoShau van Voght
with tho rost otthohhoys. Anyhow,
ho'a aBthranger among these niurth
enng Sassonaclis, so give us a tasto of
your fist, nia boucchaleen bawn!"
With that ho nearly squeezed the lad's
hand to a pulp.
Whatever pain ho endured ho only
looked up and smiled, Tho smile wait
straight to Larry'o heart, and Irom
that thoy were brothers. In five
minutes tho boy put tho mngpio
right.
From that time forth ho'was scarco
ly over out of tho theatre, lie soon
nmda himself useful in a hundred ways
to hoiust Larry, who, although ho
couldn't speak a word ol French, was
a capital pnntoniiinht, and muvoeded
in making himself understood. When,
ever ho camo to a dead hitch ho wont
to this beautiful Miss Voro, tho leading
lady, who had been educated in a con
vent in the lower countries and who
Mnku KVnirli fturmnn. Itnliiin llntoh
and Walloon as fluently as hor moth
er tongue.
Then the manager, who had taken
to tho stranger, was always at hand
with his atrocious Hibernian French;
besides which poor Piluqiiesnc (that
was the lad's nnnie) spoke many En
dish words, and the youngtcrs of the
theatre spoke many French ones very
badly, it 13 true, but still intelligibly
enough.
They generally called him "Poor
Pil," or Pil for shortness.
He told them that ho was "the only
son of his mother, and she was a
widow," and that he had been a mid
shipman in tho French Navy, llo
was at liberty most of tho day, but
had to report himself every night at
quarters prior to lock-up hours.
At last, when tho tnd of the season
came, "Poor Pil" sought Miss Vere at
her lodgings, and breaking down in a
paroxysm of grief terrible to behold,
declared that if left behind in that
dreadful place he must die. Miss Vero
was a young lady of resources. She
had a man's heart in a woman's body,
and having given her word that he
should not bo left behind, sho there
and then arranged a plan of action
with harry.
On tho last night tho piny wns
"Hamlet," which was finished by half-
past 10. I hat evening "Pit ' was
conspicuous by h s absence. r,very-
bodv wns astonished but Miss Vere
Lairy and the manager.
Fit z Edmund, who played Hamlet,
said ho thought it strange that Pilu
qiiesne had not turned up t) say
"Good-bye."
The manager replied: "M. Pilunuesno
is a gentleman, and knows what he is
about."
The performance was over altogeth
er about LL. Tho carts were waiting
at tho door, and Larry and tho men
were occupied in packing tho proper
ties and wardrobe for tho next town,
when Lieut. Carter (a grim, lank of
ficer), who had charge of tho depot
that night, came down with a file of
men and demanded to know in the
most peremptory manner what had be
come of Piluquosne.
Divil a wan ol mo knows, replied
Larry. "Afthor all I done for him ho
might have been aftherlukkin' round
to give wan a leg up the last night;
but it's iust the way vith them ui
rateful thieves of foreigners. Had
luck to tht'in; they're all alike, every
mother's son of 'em!"
While tho subject was being thus
mtlv discussed bet ween t lielieutenant
and harry Opholin'seollin was brought
out and carefully deposited on tho
cart beside Yorick's skull, the pickax,
the spado and the shrouding sheet,
etc.
"That's a rum rigout to travel with"
i owled tho lieutenant.
"Why, sure, captain, said Larry,
you wouldn't have us go borrowing
tho blessed paraphernalia in every
town wo go to. Suppose, now, the
mistress happened to bo stretched out
wid her toes upward, and ax your
honor's butler fortholoan of a coffin?"
"JNono of vour hp, you impudent,
bogtrotting Paddy!" roared the en-
aged olliqer as lio ordered his men to-
tho "Jduhl about lace; quick inarch.
As tho gallant lieutenant turned tho
corner, had ho been able to look two
ways at once, ho might have seen tho
property man executing an Assyrian
hieroglyph in the rear. Perl: aps it was
just as'woll that ho didn't witness that
interesting performance.
Half an hour later harry made a
start for Derby. When they were well
out of town ho looked round to seo
that he was unobserved. Then ho un
did tho screws of Ophelia's coffin.
There in tho moonlight lay poor Pilu
quesno, hlceping like "the baby of a
girl," and smiling in his sleep.
"Aha! Mishter honglcgs," cried
harry, "you can lock the stable door
now that the horse has bolted, but
you're not so cute as you think you
are, for all you wear an epaulette on
tho ono shoulder of you Unit's up to
your ear."
Day was breaking when they got to
Derby; but, unseen and unsuspected,
harry contrived to smuggle his pre
cious charge into the theatre, where
"tho boys and girls ' kept linn conceal
ed for a week or two, till they had
clubbed enough money to enable t hem
to send him to hondon by in til, hav
ing previously "squared" tho guard
and driver.
Now, of course, all things being
smooth and tho coast e'ear, "Poor
Pil" ought to have got safely to hon
don, from hondon to Frame, and to
"have lived happy over after" with
his mother, or to have become an ad
miral or a post captain at least; but
unfortunately fact and fato refused to
bo "squared" by fiction, however
guards and drivers of mail coaches
may be.
A distinguished authoress, referring
to a littlo book of mine recently pub
lished, said to mo at the hayinarkot
the other night, tho night of tho Han-
crofts' farewell:
"You shouldn't have mado that
poor young lellow die. I declare, it
makes mo quite unhappy to think of
his lying out thero in tho snow on her
grave.
hereupon I replied: "Mv dear
madam, 1 didn't make him die ho
did die." So "Poor Pil" but I am
anticipating.
llo had solt pleasant ways, and be
guiled the time by making little toys
for the Indies, with whom ho was an
esqecial pot, and by assisting harry,
who became more and more nttacheit
to him. The poor lad had been ailing
long time was consumptive, and
racked with a torturing and suffocat
ing cough.
'l lie night lietore his departure
Miss Voro nnd tho girls had prepared
an omelet to with sweet herbs and
somo chicken broth, while tho mana
ger and the hoys brought him a pos
Bet made with whey and white wine.
Tim girls tu.-ked him up in his com
fortably-improvised bod in tho green
room, kissed him and bade him good
night.
The lads remained to cheer him un:
Homo of thorn oven talked of running
over to seo him at lib homo in Nor
mandy.
llo t.rittlituiuKl up wonderfully, sang
them "h'Anunir.h'Amour." and talli
ed hopefully of his journey on tho
morrow.
harry was the last to leave him.
"Enibrnssez-inoi, mon cher harrio!"
said "Poor Pil."
Tho Irishman understood him well
enough then, nnd he gently gathered
him up in his strong arms and kissed
him; then honest harry bioko down.
"Don't you cry for me, mon cher
hnrrie," said Che boy I shall soon
be strong enough when I get home,
and you will conio and see mo in ha
Hello Franco some day will you not?"
"Some day," said harry; "yes, some
day; but there, there, go to sleep, jew
el go to sleep, avick! or you'll never
be ablo to got up to-morrow."
At last ho did fall placidly to sleep,
and harry left him to make tho prep
aration for the journey.
When they camo at daybreak to sec
him olY "Poor Pil" had taken a much
longer journey than they had antici
pated. It. was a lovely morning in the
young spring and the birds outside
made alive tho dismal placo with
music. Tho sun shone through the
window on to tliebed. Tho fair young
face was bright andsmiling. Onodrop
of blood had trickled down the side of
his mouth. It was quite dry now and
glittered like a ruby in the sunshine.
The great bluo eyes, open and staring
wide, looked far away beyond even the
fair France ho loved so well.
The players laid the poor French
boy in the graveyard of tho parish
church; and there all that is mortal of
him, savo that which has returned to
the resolving elements from whenco ho
came, rests still
Miss Vero wrote tho sad news to the
poor mot her at her homo in far away
iSorninnuy.
Somo months after there camo
letter from the village euro, which I
have ventured to put into English
thus:
"My dear Madam Thanks, nndvot
again thanks for your esteemed favor
Alas! it is mv painful duty to inform
you that my sister, Mine. Piluquosne
whose grief for theexpatriation of my
nephew and her only son was niccs
sant and inconsolable, is no more. Jt
was my melancholy privilege to ad
minister to her tho last rites of our
holy church on the very day on which
our littlo Paul left us for a better in
heritance.
"She was sleeping, and I stayed to
watch and pray by her to tho last
Hint morning at tho fifth hour sho
awoke and started as if sho had seen
something in tho sunlight, which had
just peeped in zo give us good nior
row
'My boy! my boy!' sho cried, 'I
am coming! May but a little am1 we
will journey together to tho '"
land.'
"And so she passed away.
"l leol, I know that she had seen
and hoard something which my eyes
and ears, 'ot tho earth earthy, could
not see or hear.
"I think it is your great poet (surely
his masterpiece) who says:
Kiich Imriuoiiy is in immortal koiiIh;
Hut whilst thii muddy vesture ot decay
Doth grossly elose us in, wo cannot lumrit.
"Again, and yet a thousand times
again, 1 thank you for all your love
and care for our little Paul.
"Permit a poor priest who admires
tho divine art of which mademoiselle
is so distinguish an ornament, to pre
sent the assurances of tho profound
consideration with which he ventures
fo subscribe himself, mademoiselle's
grateful, huinblo servant.
"Paul Pim;q,ui-:snk, D. D.
"Mile. Heleno Vere."
After "PoorPil's" death all kinds
of wild rumors obtained currency in
tho theatre. Larry swore that during
tho porforninirco of tho "Maid of Pali
scan" ho saw Pil in the property room
arranging tho bird's wings. Mrs. Cas
sidy declared that on Saturday night,
when sho was rather lato in cleaning
tho theatre, as Sunday morning
dawned she saw him; nay, more, sho
heard him singing "Adcste Fideles;"
and the poor old soul fainted away
witli terror.
Certain it is that oven Manly, tho
manager, who was a skeptic, to hur
ry's delight withdrew tho mngpiopicco
from tho repertory, and that Mrs.
Cassidy for the future did her clean
ing the first thing on Saturday morn
ing. As for actors well, they are al
ways more or less superstitious, and
for many a year after that no actor
could be-induced to stay in tho Derby
theatre after midnight.
Once, indeed, .lack Holmes, asailor,
just returned to his native placo after
the war, and atllicted with a plethora
of prize money, took a party of chums
to tho gallery to seo "Tho Stranger,"
which impressed him so powerfully
that ho fell fast asleep.
His friends, overtaken by Hncchus,
f:rgotall about him. Equally obliv
ious oi Ins presence, tho servants of
tho theatre put out the lights, locked
up and left him to his slumbers.
"When honest .lack awoke in "tho
dead waste and middle of the night"
ho had'nt the faintest idea where ho
was.
As soon as ho pulled himself togeth
er ho growled: "Where are those land
lubbers? They've all sheered oft and
loft me at tho mast-head while they've
crawled down bolow through lubber's
hole."
At this moment ho heard, or
thought he heard, a soft voice speak
ing in an unknown tongue.
hooking down on the stage, lie saw
in the moonlight which streamed
through a circular opening at tho
back of the gallery, a lair young boy
in a Irayed and worn foreign naval
uniform. He had bright hair, great
bluo eyes and an angol face, and a
drop of blood trickling from his pale
lips.
"Hold hard, young powder mon
key," cried .lack. 'Tin coming down
on deck to have a jaw with you."
Witli that, with the agility of a cat
ho scrambled down the side of the gal
lery and boxoa, and leaped upon the
btage.
Ab ho did bo the figure faded into tho
ir.
Wild with terror the sailor shriuked
nnd shouted until he alarmed tho
neighborhood.
When they took him out swooning,
folks said that ho was drunk. Per
haps ho was; but Umnlorhnps ha
At any rate, ho sworo to his dying
day that ho was Bober; and all tho
king s horses nnd all the king's men
could never induce Jack Holmes to
cross the threshold of tho theatre
again.
As regularly as the players came to
llorby in the spring time, so regularly
the poor French boy s grave was be
decked daily with Ircsn ilowers.
The years passed by, the good old
manager died, the actors grew old and
were scattered half over the globe.
Soon after t he "Threedays in Paris,"
no wno writes tneso lines, then a
wretched child, who hnd just lost ono
nearer and dearer to him than all the
world, was casting some flowers on a
new-made sepulchre, when he caught
sight of a venerableand beautiful wom
an clad in tho garb of a sister of the
Sarce Oeur engaged in tho same pious
office at an adjacent grave. The lady
win attended by a tall, thir., white-
headed old man, who, from his pecul
iar dress and demeanor, appeared to
ho a foreigner. The grave at the foot
of which they stood had been no
ed, the sexton said, for years. It
had, however, that very morning been
covered with fresh green turf and
flowers, and a small mural cross with
an inscription now stood at its head,
As tho lady returned tho basket
which had contained tho Ilowers to
her attendant she said in a singularly
sweet
and
distinct voice, "Ah! mon
ami! J low bright nnd beautiful it
i
seemed when this poor boy vas taken
irom us. thirty years ago. but now.
how sordid, and squalid and miserably
provincial it all is. Even the littlo
theatre mjwhich westrutted and fretted
our fiery hours away in tho spring
lime oi our lives tho theatre, which
we thought a veritable palace of en
chaiitnient, what is it now?"
"Faix, niadanie," replied the man in
a strangely mixed accent, compound
ed oi i'reiicn and irisn, "it you ax me
the truth, it's like a blue-mowldy,
rotten orange-box, that s what it is.
"Perhaps it was always thus, harry,
nnd 'tis only we who are changed; all
thinga arelieautiful to tho young.'
"l inn all things are beautiful to
you, miss; for you never grow owld.
Ah, .Miss ere.
"harry!"
"I humbly beg your pardon,
Madame I'rsula; but I couldn't help
tiiiiiKing I was young oust nivseli, but,
tho hord bo praised, hero conies hady
f-carsdnlo s carriage, 'llio tram laves
in half an hour. hvt us get out o'
tins; for sure the heart is sore within
mo when I think of the poor boy lying
here in the cowld.
The lady entered the coach, her at
tendant mounted the box beside the
coachman and tho carriage drove
away.
'fen vears later the writer happened
to mention this occurrence to the lato
William Kobertson, father of Tom
Hobertson tho dramatist, who strange
ly enough turned out to be ono of tho
actors in tho foregoing events, and
from his lips this little memento mori
was taken down.
When last 1 was in Derby a neglect
ed grave, overgrown with dark, rank
weeds, and a time-worn fragment of a
shattered cross, on which is inscribed
two words, without date, comment, or
text, were nil that remained to re
mind oneof "Poor Piluquosne." .lohn
Lolenian us Longman s .Magazine.
Taxation
on the Lino of hoast
Kcsistancu.
All parties would be happy if the
public treasury could be filled by tho
touch of a magician's wand, so that
taxes might be abolished. Hut, as
they are a necessary evil, a scheme of
taxation withoutJamcntation is what
is wanted. In the law laid down by
'rofessor William G. Sumner, that
taxation tends to diffuse itself, but on
tho lino of least resistance, is found a
hint for tho basis of this scheme.
Turgot, tho great French financier, ex
pressed the politicians idea very
tersely when he said that tho science
of taxation is to pluck thogoose with
out making it cry. In hunting for tho
lino of least resistance, and the most
scientific methods of plucking, sev
eral interesting experiments havo
been made of lato in different
States, where new sources of reve
nue have been sought from special
taxes on corporations, railroads, tele
graph, telephone, and insurance com
panies, collateral inheritances, and
other classes of property which can bo
plucked without producing aery liable
to' strike a chord of sympathy in tho
popular heart. In most instances
these experiments havo surpassed in
their results tho expectations of tho
proposers. Lnigo revenue has been
obtained without provoking oven a
murmur of disapproval from tho
voting classes. In Vermont, for ex
ample, no direct tax was levied in
ISS'A and 1 SS I, tho receipts under tho
corporation tax law paying tho ex
penses of tho State government. Tho
Comptroller of New York received
SU.fiOD.lin.yfj in 1 SSL of which 91,
(10;i,01ti.75 were paid by corpora
tions. Last year, although tho Wis
consin Legislature authorizedalevy of
SiMO.OOO.tho stato treasurer was not
obliged to collect any direct tax, as
the license tax from railroads, insur
ance, telegraph and telephone compa
nies was Milheient to meet tho current
expenses. The treasurer of Minnesota
states that "the revenue from the cor
poration tax is steadily increasing,
and if it should continue to increase,
and tho probabilities aro that it will,
as it has done for the last four years,
it bids lair to pay all the expenses of
thoBtato government." In Now Jer
sey thero is no regular tax, except for
schools, as the new railroad and canal
tax law and the tax on miscellaneous
corporations maintain tho govern
ment. UiiNKY .1. Ti:s Evck, in Popu
lar Science Monthly for February.
Architect Honry G. Harrison, of
Connecticut, who declares that ho is
the designer of the Garden City Cathe
dral, New York, built by Mrs. Corne
lia M. Stewart in memory of hor hus
band, Alexander T. Stewart, is suing
Mrs. Stowart for SOn.TU'i, which ho
says is owing to him for his work on
the costly fane.
POSTAL DETECTIVES.
tlow Thoy Work to Keep the Malls Clear
of l'muds.
Hartford Globs.
Tho maintenance of a large force of
trained detectives or "inspectors," as
thoy are designated upon tho rolls of
tho PostofTico Department, has groat
ly purified this branch of tho service
An lnnnito number ot swindles are
still carried on through the agency of
the mails.
owmdiers reach their intended vic
tims by circulars and by advertise
ments in careless or characterless
newspapers. Tho former method
preferred by sharpers as being tho
least likely to como under tho notico
of tho official spie3 of tho department.
It is an easy matter to obtain full
lists of any required number of names,
running up into the millions. Lottery
companies mnko a business of selling
mil lists ot the names of their patrons,
nnd other swindling concerns which
obtain original lists aro addicted to
the samo practice.
countrymen who reply to any ono
of tho hundreds of snap advertise
ments wonder how it is that the hun
dreds of fascinating enterprises from
one end of tho country to tho other
obtain their addresses, and they feel,
Bonio way, that they must bo persons
of importance. Their vanity is flat
tered, and in innumerable instances
they undergo a regular course of train
ing before they acquire a sufficient
fund of experience to enable them to
realize that they aro on tho wrong
sido of tho institution for tiio feeble
minded. Tho art craze, which during the last
few years has spread over tho country
likoan epidemic has developed a swin
dlethnt is veryhard forthodepartment
to reach, and which affords a livelihood
for a large number of enterprising and
unscrupulous persons. Tho knaves
tax the great army of unsophisticated
girls who imagine they havo artistic
tastes by showing them, through tho
medium of circulars, how they can
put themselves in the way of earning
comfortable incomes with the expen
diture of a trifling sum for aiiioutfit.
They promise to take work that is
produced accordingto their "system,"
and require a small cash payment in
advance from tho favored artists.
The department finds this a most
troublesome class of cases to deal
with, the originators protecting them
selves very completely, as a rule,
against prosecution.
Tho Postoflico Department spent
months trying to break up the scheme
of a man who contracted to send
pianos and organs from his manu
factories in Maino and California to
any part of tho country on payment
of 2 or $3 or $1 to defray the cost, of
boxing the instruments. Tho articles
wore received according to contract,
but they proved to bo cheap toy
pianos and organs, theexpenscof box
ing which was about 10 per cent, of
tho sum remitted in each case. An
other fellow mado a lot of money by
boxing and forwarding very cheap
mouth organs to all who patronized
him through the mails.
Tho proprietor of a snide but harm
less euro for deafness reaped a harvest
ot i?.H) or fc-lU a day lor a long tune
His headquarters were in Now York
The president ot a bogus medical col
lego did a prosperous business in sell
ing spurious diplomas, but as tho men
who bit at his bait were contessediy
as great swindlers as ho was, tho
department was a long tinio get
ting at him. This was a swindle pure
and simple.
(n army of rurahsts forwarded hard
earned dollars fora "mowing machine
knife-sharpener, simple, effective," nnd
received in return, sticks dipped in em
ery dust, and pieces of iron. Another
ingenious operator found a market for
thousands of copies of a cheap edition
of the Scriptures by representing tho
book to be a collection of very tough
stories. It is not recorded that tho
department interfered with this mis
sionary enterprise.
An Old-Time Printer.
From tho Albany Argus.
Tho thoughtful face of Gen. William
F. Rogers, ex-Congressman from Erie,
camo down the corridor. Tho General
is a printer of the old school, and looks
ns young as when, thirty or moro
vears ago, ho sat on a one-legged stool
and piled up 1 ,000 ems solid brovier
per hour. I asked him if he could do
it now. "No, ho said; "I might
wrestle with 1,000 in as many hours.
In my day I was known ns a last com
positor you call them 'last crabs
now. Tho printers don t chance much
I'M n cr ill t hniiiicr. n iwl (Ainnn
iiiy niutiaii iiiu tiviiLu iiitvi listing
intellectual men they wore years ago.
People don't appreciate tho printer.
Drat my skin! with then types they
mnko and tinmako tliam. I tell you
when the printer camo on earth among
men, that very moment tho epoch of
civilization and intellectuality began.
Banish the printer and whero would
tho world ot readers bo? In darkness
moro blacker than Erobus. It is tho
greatest calling on earth. The printer
works hard. 11c spends freely. Print
ers can turn their hands to almost
anything. Good printers aro natur
ally smart and of keen discernment.
A printer who would set upmultumin
parro to read 'mutton in pork,' as I
once seen it done, is no good on earth.
Just look at the different kinds of
handwriting a printer sets from every
night upon a large daily paper. If ho
has thirty takes-"
"Takes what?" I innocently in
quired. "Ho tnkes nothing. Takes nro dif
ferent kinds of copy. Say llo has thirt y
.takes a night. That moans thirty
kinds of handwriting, or nearly so.
Some tnkes may bo as plain ns day
light, but others look as if the writer
had written tho article with his teeth
and sent a farm harrow over it for
punctuation. No, I noversot type out
of a salt bag bv moonlight, gaslight or
nny other lUht. Printers tell such
ghost stories to mnrintwlikcyou. Yes,
of course, I'll go to thocafe. Old days
it used to be 'powter mugs.' "
WASHINGTON SOCIETY.
Women Vi'lio Write Olonlnc lecrIptloaJ
of Their CoAtttiiiB to NowatiapnrA.
W. E. Curtl in Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Four papers aro published Sunday
morning for social news, while- the
daily journals here and elsewhcro have
society reporters who are giving more
attention to such matters than ever
before. Thoy aro very actively assist
ed by tho society people themselves,
and about half the matter published
is contributed by those who aro re
ferred to in tho lines they write.
For example, tho editor of ono of
the Sunday papers received a sample
of tho latest thing in stationery.upon
which was written in thenngulnr hand
thnt is so fashionable the following:
"Tho most dnshing and brilliant
belle at tho reception of Mrs. Wilson
was tho daughter of Congressman
Hlnck, who has assumed a leadinc nn-
sition in Washington societv. Hi.r
beauty was ieniarked bv everv nun.
and was heightened by her costume,
which was a gown of ivorv white cord
ed silk, with square bodice of corded
velvet. Tho Marie Stuart collar was
edged by small icd beads. A rich dra
pery of thread lace was festooned over
tho front and held by panels of tho
velvet. In her corsage was a iewelled
shepherd's crook, and in her hair a
silver dagger and cold arrow, in the
center of which shone an immense car
buncle." Tho communication was anony
mous, but the editor know whore it
camo from, and knew that its publica
tion meant the sale of a hundred con
ies or so of his paper, which would be
sent to all.of the family friends. An
other similar anonymous letter (in
which I have taken tho liberty to al
ter the names) reiul as lollows:
"Miss tieneviovo Jones daughter of
Gen. George Jones, of tho army, was
ono of tho prettiest girls and greatest
belles at tho army .and navy german.
bne is tall and slender, nnd her gown
of rich cream crepe, garnished with
hnndsomo Escurial lace and Marechal
Neil buds, was most becoming to her
brunette type."
aim nero is a tnird winch was con
tributed by the brother of tho vonim
lady named: "Among the most 'noted
belles at the army and navy german
was Miss Paulino Acklen, of Tennes
see, tsho has a face ot llower-hko deli
cacy and coloring and a classic head
poised on a lovely neck. She wore an
icsthetic gown of whito lace, and her
powdered hair accentuated tho youth
ful beauty of her face. The toilet of
Mrs. Pinson, who chaperoned her, was
an excellent combination of black and
white.
"What He Uoug-Iit.
Clnra Bell's Letter.
I know tho most prim and modest
of young Episcopal curates. He may
Set audious after being established a
few yeais in a full rectorship, but at
present, if ho said "boo" at all to a
pretty girl, it would bo in tho mildest
whispered tone. He is in love. It hap
pened to him lately, on first sight of
my dear littlo friend, Henriette; and
sho knows it though ho hasn't told
her so. By the time ho gathers cour
age to pop the question sho will have
iiad ample opportunity for inquiry as
to his prospects, his family and her
own inclination. We!!, ho bought a
Chri'itmas present for her selected it
all by Himself, ho told mo to-day,
on bringing it round to our house
in his handbag for me to inspect.
"I have an artistic eyofor color nnd
shape," ho said, "and 1 am sure that
Miss Henriette will bo charming in tho
hoaso robo that I hao procured. It
is mostly white, with just a faint sug
gestion of delicate bluo in tho lace
that garnishes. And then tho flowing
draperies will of a surety bo vastly be
coming to her. Please give mo your
judgment.
Then ho out with tho thing which
really was a heavenly construction of
Chinese silk and fino lace. Hut I had
a dreadfully wrenching convulsion of
laughter on getting sight' of it, though
my lace was serious.
' What do you think of it?" ho
ed.
"Lovely," I replied.
"And she will hko it?"
"Undoubtedly."
ask-
"Then 1 will send it to her
in the
morning."
"Stay a moment," I said gravely.
"You aro a young clergyman just sot
ting out on your chosen life mission,
and you cannot bo too careful in your
social doings. Forgive mo for any
seeming presumption, but I feel it my
duty to warn you to bo on your
guard. Tho public is so consorious
you know so apt to construo moan
mgs and motives. Believo me that
you run a risk in giving this to Henri
ette, no matter how pureyour thought
may be, how significant in somo relig
ious, symbolic way that I don't
understand the article is,or how"
"Stoo. stop. Miss Clara Hello." tht
frightened fellow interrupted: "what
is this garment?"
"A nightgown, said I.
It was fortunate that I had a bottle
of rather strong cologne at hand for
him to sniff at, or I verily boliovo he
would not have routed from tho col
lapse.
Mr. Whittier dislikes, for himself,
biographies and biographers. "Of
course, I am glad." ho said to arecent
visitor, "to havo thee tell my friends
anything about mo they caroto know;
but such famo as a man gots from
books written about him after ho i?
dead seems to mo worth very little.
I havo never thought of myself as a
poet in tho seiibo in which we use the
word when wesncak of thogrcatpoots.
I have iust sniu from time 10 time
the things I hnd to say, nnd it has
been a series of surprises to mo that
people should pay so much attention
to them and remember tneni so long.
Joseph Lilley, the oldest ex-United
States Senator, finished ' his ninety
fifth year heartily nnd in happiness at
Nottingham, N. II., recently.
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