0
The Oregon Scout.
VOL. II.
UNION, OREGON, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19, 1SS5.
NO, 25.
THE OREGON SCOUT.
An Independent weekly Journal, issued eve y
Snturdny by
JONES & CHANCEY,
Publishers nnd Proprietors.
A. K. Jones, I
Editor, f
i 11. Chanxev,
( Foreman.
KATES OF SUHSCIUPTION:
One copy, ono yenr $1 no
" " Six months l 00
" " Threo months 75
t. Invariably cash In ndvnnco.
If by nny chanco subscriptions nro not paid
till end ot year, two dollnra will bo chaired.
Kates of advertising inado known on appli
cation. Correspondence from nil parts of the county
solicited.
Address nil communications to A. K.Jones,
Editor Orctfon Scout, Union, Or.
Loile Directory.
Ghanii Kondj: Vai.lev Loikik, No. m. A. F.
nnd A. Jl. Jleets on tho second and fourth
Saturdays of ench month.
0. F. lir.hh, V. M.
C. E. Davis, Secretary.
Union I.oikje, No. tfJ. I. 0. O. i ltoffiilar
meetings on Fridayovetilngs of each weckat
their hall In Union. All brethren In good
standing- arc Invited to attond. Ily order of
the lodge. S. V. Long, N. G.
G. A. Thompson, Secy.
Church nircclory.
M. E. Cnuitcn Divine service evcrvSundny
at 11 a. m and? p. m. Sunday school at 3 p.
m. Prnyer meeting overy Thursday evening
otCtyo. Kkv. Andkuson, Pastor.
PitcsnvTEniAN Cnuitcn Itcgular church
services every Sabbath morning nnd evening.
Prayer meeting each weok on Wednesday
evening, fc'nbbath school every Sabbath flt
10 n. m. Kev. II. Vkiinon Kick, Pastor.
St. John's Episcopal Chuiich Scrvico
every Sunday at 11 o'clock a. in.
Kev. W. K. Powell, Kcctor.
THEY AUj 1AI.K SHOP.
) Comity Ofllecrs.
Judgo A. C. Crnlg
SherltT A. Ij. Saunders
Clerk II. F. Wilson
Treasurer A. F. Ucnson
School Superintendent J. L. Hlndninn
Surveyor E. Stmonls
Coroner E. H. Lewis
COMMISSIONEltS.
Geo. Acklcs Jno. Stanley
State Senator Ii. II. Klnehart
HEPHESENTATIVES.
F.T.Dick E. E.Taylor
City Olllcer.
Mnyor D. II. Kecs
COUXCII.ME.V.
S. A. Pursel W. f), npJdleman
J.S. Elliott Willis Skitr
.1. II. Eaton G. A. Thompson
Kecorder J. II. Thomson
Marshal I. A.Dennov
Treasurer J. I). Cnrroll
Street Commissioner L. Eaton
Ifcpartiire of Train.
Kcgular cast bound trains leavo at 9::i0a
m. West bound trains leavo at 4:3) p. m.
I'KOFF.SSIONAk.
J. R. CRITES,
Collecting and probate prnctieo specialties
Olllco, two doors south of Postollice, Union,
Oregon.
R. EAKIX,
Attorney at Law aofl Notary Public.
Ofllcc, ono door south of J. 11. Eaton's storo
Union, Oregon.
I. N. CROMWELL, M. 1).,
Physician and Surgeon
Oiilce, one door south ot J. 11. Eaton's store,
Union, Oregon.
A. E. SCOTT, M. I).,
PHYSICIAN' ATiii SJ'BCSi:,
Has permanently located at North Powder,
where no will unswor all calls.
T. II. CRAWFORD,
AT'l'OKIVKY AT LAW,
Union,
D. Y. K. DEERIXCJ,
IIiywi:Inii iiikI Mnr;;'oii,
Union, Oregon.
Office, Main street, nextdoorto Jones Ilros.'
variety eoro.
lteatdonce. Main street, second houso south
ot court house.
Chronic diseases a specialty.
O. V
Attorney and Counsellor at
Union, Ouegon.
Heal Estate, Law and Probate Practice will
receive special attention.
Ofllcc on A street, rear of State Land Olllce
II. F. BURLEIGH,
Attorney at I.nir, ICcnl i:.tiitu
and Collertlii-f Affciil.
Land Ofllco Business a Specialty.
Oflico at Alder, Union Co., Orogon.
JESSE HAnDESTV,
SHELTOH &
axxokivkym
Will practice in Union, Jlakor, Grnnt,
Umatilla nnd .Morrow CouutioH. also in the
Supreme Court of Oregon, the District.
Circuit and Supreme Courts of the United
States.
Mining and Corporation busineea n upe
Icalty. Office in Union, Oiegon.
True Stories by the Truthful and Communica
tive Tonsnrlallst.
Ilavo you over notieoil how ninny
pcoplo thoro aro who talk shop? No?
Well, 1 have. It's a common failing,
anil sometimes itisn't pleasant, either.
It all comes from seliislinoss, you
know, anil selfishness is a nilsorablo
sott of thing In other people I don't
like to hear men talk shop. 1 never
do, and 1 always discourago them
from it - as much ns possible. Hut
thoy will do it. Tho othor day thoro
was a mnn in here, and ho hadn't
moro than got into tho ehnir boforo
wo discovered that ho was a life in
suranco agent. Of course, to hoar
him tell it, ho was tiio Ross life-insurance
man of the wild West.
'I'll toll you what I did this sum
mer,' ho says", in a loud voico, con
fidentially to everybody in tho shop.
'I wont up to Waukesha for my vaca
tion and while- thoro made my ex
penses and SHOO besides. How? .Just
as easy as rolling oil' a lo'. 1 srot in
solid with tho girls and found out who
was engaged to who, and promised
tho ongiiged ladies silk dresses if they
would talk tlieir young men into tak
ing out a policy in my company. No
descent young man hesitates to tako
out a liberal policy to protect his oirido
should anything happen to him, especi
ally when the birdie puts one handou
his shoulder and bends lior svlnh-liko
r . . . . .
iorm arounu anil looks ui into his
mco and coaxes for it, you know. No,
sirroc. ror two weeks thoy kept mo
uusv writing up policies, it was a
groat snap.
Hut did you bin' any silk drosses for
llio girls.-"' l askoil.
" 'Nary a dross,' renliod tho wretch.
"I lold them all to bo good girls and
survive thoir liusbands and thoy would
got cnougl) money to buy a trunk full
ol urosses. bleolc schome, wasn t ltr
"That's tho way ono man talked
shop. Maybe ho was a liar, but I
don't know. Insuranco mon have
enough gall for anything. 1 know of
ono who worked a bettor scheme than
that. Ho and a voting doctor chum of
his went in cahoots. As tho doctor
was on his rounds ho would go up to
mon ami say: "i-oi mo listen tit your
chest.' Then ho would put his" ear
down to tho man's ribs and listen
until tho subject got nervous like,
when ho would straighten up and on
n u ire:
" '(Jot your lifo insured?'
"If the fnirlitonod v.ctim said 'no,'
the doctor solomnly, and apparently
with reluctance, advised him to at
tend to il at once, and recommended
his accomplice, saying that though
the man's lting3 weroalleetcd lie would
seo his friend tho insurance man
and lix it so ho would get through tho
examination all right. In this way
lots of men with perfectly sound lung's
wore thus frightened into lifo insur
ance, you see, and that's what 1 call
a ease of bad methods in a good cause.
"There was an actor in hero the
other day. Of courso ho had to talk
shop, too. And ho talked it so much
that an old cliap sitting In tho next
chair got tired and made such a bad
break as this-
" Harbor, ' ho says to tho man who
was cutting Iiia hair, 'barber,' says lie,
'can you toll me wliy all actors aro
durnod fools outside a theatre? Tho
way thoy talk shop makes mo sick."
"What did tho actor say? I can't
toll you. Of course ho heard tiio old
chap, and ho jumped out of his chair
and swung ins arms around and spit
all tho lather oil his lip. You want to
know what ho said? 1 can't loll you.
You couldn't print it if I did toll vou.
Did lie make any reply at all? Yos", ho
did, but, as I never say cuss words.
you will havo to road tho answer in
tho-
"Musicians aro event chans to talk
shop, too. Thoy aro always at it.
They think everybody olso is stuck on
music just tiio same as tlioy aro. J hero
was ono in lioro tho other "day. and ho
started oil" talking about great compo
sers. Ho talked of glories, and arias,
and symphonies, and orchestrations,
and lots of othor thinirs, and tho har
bor savs 'ven' nvnrv mini) in n wliiln
Oregon, or 'just so,' or 'right you aro,' from
mo lorco of habit, I guoss. lmally
tho musician savs to tho barber:
" 'Aro you fond of Moyorbeor?'
" 'Yos, ratlior,' says tho harbor, in
nocoiitly, but my favorito is Milwaukee
export."
"Greatest timo wo'vo had for n
coon's ago, though, was Wodnosday
last after dinner. Thoro was a big,
rough chnp in hero, and ho was slightly
under tho 'Jlucnco. Ho was a hog
sticker from tho stocic yards, spending
a vacation and his loose cliango in
town. Ho was a bit ugly, loo, and
didn't soem to bo satisfied with his
share. Sworo tho razor was dull, and
that it was a-schratching him.
' 'Ef I couldn't koop a bettor razor'n
that I'd quit tho biz.' says ho; 'tho
knifo which 1 stick hogs with out to
tho yards is sliarpor'n your old razor.
Don't you think I'm" as good as a
hog?'
" 'I'd ratlior not talk shop,' says tho
harbor, says ho, kind o' tart like.
"You don't want to talk shop, oh?
You think you kin insult mo 'causo
I'm from I ho stock yards and don't
woar kid gloves, lor whistling to
tho wrong dog, mistor. I want yo to
understand that I'm Armour's boss
pig-sticker, an' you can't run on mo,
j. w. sitKLTON ( nnu l'vo trot my piir knifo with mo.
j Look out for yourself!"
1 "About that timo things bogan to
I lopk equally, an' I hud some business
j to utteud to out iu tho street. Hut
. my barber didn't scare worth a conL
no pulled a razor an' jumped up in
tho air; an' followed that plg-stiekor
nil over tho shop until he cornered
him back of tho store. My harbor
was mad, ho wr
Law,
HARDEST!,
AT I,A1Y.
" 'If you want to do any cutting I'n
your man,' ho shouted, ' brandishing
his razor. I'm right with vou, mj
victim. I'ull your knifo and I'll sliov
you how wo stick pigs hero in Chicago.
I'll cut your infernal pork heart om
of yon!'
For (Sod's sake, harbor,' says tin
stock yard man troinblinjrly, 'f-f-oi
God's sake let's don't talk shop.' "
Chicago Herald.
rrescryiiig Unities.
Two newspaper editors of somi
prominence mot last summer, frou
dill'erent sections of the country, am
had quito a talk over business matters
otc. Ono of tliom said tho grontes
trouble ho had was in standing oll'pco
plo who wrote plays, and who wantei
him to examine them, road them, am
givo his opinion of tlioin. and mak
suggestions as to thoir improvement
Ho had writton a play once, wliicl
was quito successful, and it seemed a:
though all tho young play writ on
within live hundred miles thought hi
had nothing to do but oxamino plays
Ho said a groat many of tho writon
woro girls, who believed thoir plan
woro equal to any play ever written
and it was hard to criticise a play
when a pair of tearful, anxious eyo;
woro looking at you, sconiinir toyoart
for a favorable verdict. He said if he
could got out of examining plays he
thought ho could bo happv. Tho otlie:
editor laughed a littlo at his friend
ami said:
"Well, may bo 1 can holp you
I used to bo bothered the sanio
and 1 havo road plays onough to
box car, and havo given plenty of
vico. If 1 gavo holiest advico I mat.
tho author "of tho play mad, invariably,
so I adopted a now plan. Now whet
a play is brought to me by an amatun
author, 1 ask tor a week to oxamino it
When tho girl conies after tho p'aj
and tho verdict, I tako the roll of man
useript out of tho pigoou hole whero il
lias boon all tiio timo, and putting oi
an air of judicial dignity, I say, 'Miss,
your idoiis aro all rigid, only thoy nr
crude. You do not prcsorve your uul
tios. Thoro is nothing that makes a
play so successful as preserving the
unities. Until you can preserve the
unities, tho play can never bo a situ
cess!' Woll, it is wonderful what an
e fleet those words havo. Nino times
in ton tho author will tako tho ulay
and go away, thanking mo for nij
troublo. Tho faot that they don't
know a unity from a side of sololeath
or makes it oasy. They don't want
to give tliemsolvos away," and so thoy
go away satislled that I am an old
hand at tho business, and havo loam
od to preservo my unities, and thoy go
oil' resolved to proservo theirs in tiic
future. 1 think if you will adopt my
plan, and uso tho crude doilgo, and
talk to your customers about 'preserv
ing thoir unities, it willsaveyou a heap
of trouble."
Tho two editors separated, and had
not scon each other until last week,
when thoy mot in tho rotunda of a
Chicago hotol. At first tho ono who
had been advised about tho unity busi
ness would not speak fo tho other, but
finally, after being asked what had
happened to break tip thoir friendly
relations, and what was tho causo of
tho black eye, tho troubled editor
said: "I took your advice, sir, and I
am sorry for it. A voung woman
canio into my ollico about ton days ago
wiin a piay mat sno wanicu mo to
read. 1 kont it a week, and when she
,
canio back I said just what you told
mo. i H.iiu, -my uoar, your unity is
not preserved, it is orudo. the worst
kind. I'tiero is nothing moro sadden
ing in this world than to seo a girl, on
dowod by naturo with beauty and tal
out, produce a crude ollurt, anil not
maintain her unities. O, my Go-oil.
wliv did vou not nrnsnrvn vmir imifma
girl, instead of fritter. ng thoni away
in this crttdo manner? Thoro are
great possibilities for any girl who has
talont for literature but if she hasn't
got tho strength of charactor, tho sand,
as it woro, to maintain hor unities, thai
sottlos it.' "
"Woll, you idiot, wliatdid she savf"
niKcuiiio onior ouitor, looking at tlic
uiaek oye.
'Uli, slio didn't say much. What
could slio say? Sho just snatched the
manuscript, called mo an old fool, and
went out. In about an hour hor
brother canio in and said he under
stood 1 had boon lying about his sis
tor's play, and calling hor uamos, and
boforo I could explain ho hit mo or
tho oyo, and took mo by tho collar and
mopped tho floor with ino. That sot
ties it with inc. I shall read no more
plays, and you can havo your crude
unities back, as I havo no further use
for thorn," and tho two play critic!
went into tho hotel saloon and opened
a small bottlo. I'vch's Sun.
Getting Even With Phillip Hrooka.
I supposo if any ono was to ask
"Who is tho largest mnn In Boston?"
tho universal answer would ho, "Phil
lips Brooks" tho biggest man men
taily, morally and physically. Fow,
however, ovor oxporionco his size b)
boiug alouo in tho room with him. It
is a bo-littling oxporionco. The Jlonu
Journal says a woll known Bosloc
business man onco had occasion to call
upon him and was shown upon hit
study. On tho ontranco of Mr. Brooki
his height and ovor poweritig largo
iioss quito overcamo his caller, who
was something of a wag. With nc
wasted words the clergyman wont di
rectly to tho business in hand. Hardli
had ho startod however, when Jii'i
callor put his hand beside his mouth
and laughingly cnlloil out, "Wait om
moment, sir; 1 always insist on a plat
form of equality," upon which hi
leaped into a chair anil retained hii
station during tho entire interview.
Uotlon Trave ltr.
Oh
For
the
Holidays.
HIGGIN
SON&
ROGER
Wo aro again to tiio front with tho finest nsaortmont of DRUGGISTS' SUNDRIES and CHRISTMAS
GOODS ovor soon in tho Valloy.
Evory porson buying ONE DOLLAR'S worth of Goods from us during tho month of Dooombor will ro
coivo a ohanoo in tho following b3auttful and valuablo prosonts :
1st Prize Plnsh Gelioii Dressing-case.
2fl
Sti
1 Cigar
7tt
it
It
i.
Large Wax Dell, over i feet ligl.
r
Tnmi
I
r.
Large Scrap-Book.
These Prizes will be drawn for on DECEMBER 31st, at SEVEN O'CLOCK.
Wo havo an elegant stock of
Christmas Cards, Celluloid Goods, Choice Perfumery, Dolls and Toys,
Scrap Books, Photo Albums, ' Autograph Albums, Cups and Saucers.
Our slock is loo large to mention everything, hut conic anil seo for yourselves"!
Grande Roude Drug S
mm mm km mm
La Grande,
tore
regon.
SANTA GLAUS' HEADQUARTERS
Tliis Toar aro at
tkm ikw m 'wet -m. Jkw w m
And Everybody is invited to call and oxamino their complete and olcgant assortment of
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
Rare Chance for Holiday Shoppers.
READ OUR OFFER :
For every dollar's worth of goods bought of us during the month of December, our patrons will receive a ticket '
which will give them a chance to secure any or all of the following beautiful presents;
DRAWING TO TAKE PLAGE DEC. 30, AT 7 O'GLOGK,
1st Prize,
at Decorate! Tea Set, 44 die
. 2d Prize. Large PMopp An.
3d Prize. Velvet fall Pocket.
' 4tli Prize. Splendid Oil Paiotin, size 24x30 inches.
5tli Prize. Decorated Toilet Set. i
. ; 6tli Prize. Larue Parlor Lamp.
) m Prize. Heavy Silver Plated Pickle Dish. 1
I 8th Prize. Walnut Paper Holder.
9th Prize. Silver Plated Vase.
lOthPrize. Large Scrap Album. . ,
DO NOT MISS THIS OLPORTUNiTY TO GET A VALUABLE ARTICLE FOR NOTHING.
licxitlcH our imiiiunso iiHHortment of Holiday OooiIh, wo keep coimtuntly on band tho
Choicest Family Groceries,
Gents' Furnishing Goods,
Variety and Fancy Goods,
Watches, Clocks and Jewelry.
JONES BROS., Cor. Main and C Sts., Union.