The
n
-SMC
VOL. II.
UNlOft, OREGON, SATFBDAY, AUGUST 22, 1885.
Oregon
THE OREGON SCOUT.
An Independent weekly Journal, issued every rt
Saturday by
JONES & CHANCEY,
Publishers and Proprietor.
A. ft. Jones, 1
j B. ClIANCEV,
I Korean.
Editor.
KATES OP 8UHSCIUPTION:
Cftft copy, ono year
$1 to
1 00
Tbree months 75
Invariably cash In advance
Bmw! of advertising mmlo known on appll
otuion. Correspondence from all parts of tho county
Elicited.
AiUrew; all communications to A. k. Jones,
Bdltor OreRon Scout, Union, Or.
Lodge Dlrctry.
Oka vn RoNnr. Valley Lodge, No. M. A. V.
and A. M. Meets n tho second and fourth
Saturdays of each month.
O. F. Belt., Tf. M.
C. K. Davis, 8eretftry.
Ukiox I.odo K, No. :, I. O. O. F. Heprulnr
meetings on Friday evonlnjts or each week at
tholr hall in Union. All brothren In good
ItanUInK are iuvitd to attend. By order of
the lodirc. S. W. LONG, N. O.
0. A. Thompson, 5?cy.
Clitireli niroftory.
M. E. CHnncn Divine sorvlco every Sunday
at 11 a. m ami" p. m. Sunday school at . p.
ra. I'rayer meeting every Thursday evening
t 11:30. Kkv. Andeksojj, Fnstor.
PnEsnvTKiuAN Cnuncii llegular church
ncrvices every Sabbath raornlner and cvonlnpr.
I'rnyer ineettnir oach week on TVednesday
evening. Sabhath school every Sabbath at
10 a. in. Kov. H. Vehnon Hice, Pastor.
St. John's Enscor.M. Cuuncii Service
ivcrr Sunday at 11 o'olock a. in.
Kev. W. K. Powell, Hector.
Coutily OHIcera.
Judgo A. C. Craig
jherlH A. L. Saunders
Clerk II. F. Wilson
Treasurer A. F. Honson
School Superintendent J. L. Illndmau
Survuyor K. Slmonls
Coroner E. H. Lewis
COM.M1SSIOXKHS.
Beo. Acklec Jno. Stanley
State Senator L. n. ltlnchart
nUPHRSHNTATITHS.
F. T. Dick I. K.Taylor
City OMlcera.
Major D. B. nees
COU.fCIJ.MKN.
3. A.l'ureel W. D. IlpMIoman
J.H. Elliott Willis Skiff
J. II. Eaton O. A. Thompson
Itacorder J. H. Thomson
Marshal J. A.Dcnnoy
Treasurer J. D. Carroll
Street Commisslonrr L. Eaton
Departure or Trains,
Render east bound trnlns leave at !):30a
bi. West bound trains leavo at 4:!M p. in.
PISOFKKSIONAIi.
j. k. crites,
ATTOIWEV AT UW.
Collecting and probate practice specialties
Otllce, two doors south of PoctoSlce, Union
Dregon.
R. EAKIN,
attorney at Law and Notary Mic.
Otllce, ono door south of J. II. Eaton's More,
Union, Oregon.
I. N. CROMWELL, M. D.,
Physician and Surgeon
Offlee,.ono door Houth ot J. D. Eaton's store,
Union, Oregon.
A. E. SCOTT, M. D.,
Has permanently located at North Powder,
where no will answer all calls.
I. W. 8IIEI.TOK, JESSE HAIIDESTI'.
SIIELTON & IIARDESTY,
ACTToftrvvYK at law.
Union,
o.
Oregon.
T. II CRAWFORD,
O
,VJTISW(Y AT LAW,
Union, - Oregon.
D. Y. K. DEERLNG,
Physician and Surgeon,
Union, Oregon.
Otllce, Main street, next door to Jones Bros.
j3rioty store.
wHesldence, Main street, second house south
of court boi0c.
' Chronic dlseasoi a specialty.
. i iii:i,e,,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE,
Notary Public and Conveyancer. Oraco. B
itreot, two doors east of Jones Bros.' variety
itore, Union, Oregon.
J. M. CARROLL,
Rotary Patilic aud Collecting AgcnL
Office on the creek, opposite Howland i
f.loyd'i furniture store, Uuloii, Oregon.
II. F. BURLEIGH,
Attorney ut I,utv, Iteul I'Miito
and Collecting: Atfuiit.
Land Office Business a Specialty.'
Office at Alder, Union Co., Oregon.
T. Wrmiit,
Cashier.
FIRST NATIONAL Bill
OK-
UNION,
ORKGQN.
o
Does n General Banking Nusiiie. Buys
nnd sells exchange, and discounts com
mercial paper.
Collections carefully attended to, and
promptly reported.
-COMMERCIAL-
Iirar ant Fell
Opposite Ck.vtk.vniai Hotel.
JOHN S. ELIOTT, PROPRIETOR.
Having furnished this old nnd popular
lyostelry witli ample room, plenty of feed,
good hostlers nnd new biiRgics, is better
prepnred thnn ever to nccommodato cus
tomers. My terms nro reasonable.
GOVE TANNERY
Adam Crossma.v, PnorRtnion.
Has now on hand and for sale the best of
HARNESS, LADIGO,
UPPER and
LACE LEATHER.
SHEEP SKIXS, ETC.
l(HMItI) 1MEICKS
Paid for Hides nnd Pelts.
WALLA WALLA
BEER DEPOT.
Corner Main and A Streets, Union.
E. MILLER, - - - Proprietor.
Keeps always on hand the fincot brand of
WINES,
LIQUORS,
and CIGARS.
The very best Lager nnd Rock Beer in
tho mnrket, at 2." ecu tit a quart. Beer and
lunch 25 cents.
A fine billiard table for the accommoda
tion of customers. Drop in and lie tiocia
ble.
RAILROAD
FEED AND LIVERY STABLE
Near the Court House.
A. P. Benson, - Pboi'hictou.
Union, Oregon,
Pino turnouts and first-claim rig for the
accommodation of tho miblic Generally.
Conveyances for commercial men u. spe
cialty.
2Hriie accommodations for feed cannot
be excelled in the valley. Terms reasonable.
-BLUE MOUNTAIN
Main Street, Union, Oregon.
Heniiy SniiKKit, . - Pnoi'siinon,
pSr-Ordcra from any rmrt of tho vullc.v
will receive prompt attention. I have on
iuuih some very nne litiuiL ur.i'Ai. wroji
in nnu sample it.
NORTH POWDER
Restaurant-
PONY STEVENS, PROP.
The traveling public will please tako no
tico that, in addition to my saloon in
North Powder, I havo opened a first-t'lass
share of tho public patronnge. The tables
"in uinuyn uo Hujipneil wiui mo
BEST THE MARKET AKJ'OUDS,
nnd no pains will bo spared to innko my
r i.ti .
Call on me, eat, drink and bo happy.
Tonsorial Rooms
Two dors south of Jones Bros.'Silore,
Union, Oregon.
J. M. Joitxso.v, - - Pkoi'iiiktok.
Hair cutting, shavim; and shampooing
dono neatly uml in the best style.
CITY v 1AT v MET
Main Street, Union, Oregon.
ROIII.NS it BkNSO.V, - PltOPItiKTOIIh.
Keep constantly on hand
BEEF, P0KK, VEAL. MUTTON, SAU
SAGE. HAMS, LARD, ETC.
IIAL -:- HOTEL.
Union, Oregon.
Dan. F. Moonu, . Pitoi-ituiTOit.
A well stocked bar in connection with
the house, nnd none but tho best brundd
of liquors and cigars kept.
LARGE SAMPLE ROOMS for tho ac
commodation of commercial travelers.
Geo. WmanT,
President.
A STBIHU OP SISVff
Who know Ilebrcwl Who hncnr UrttKI
Who thetongu th UrJlr yck!
Htrc'e a set (tf niftielaR nd
Aft itconU ov a pjrauiia.
What Is mcnat bv all thw frelv
lllulfh blotcWs, browutsli svcckWdJ
Thsc are words. 1 clW prlsUd
On each cfif -shell fiiiatly tltitnl;
('haaMlos laws thu birds inut ti&
WUit If lnbould try towadl
On the Oriole's, scratched nnd stirred,
Thl totrncc I lind not hard:
"Brt'i-Wd brijht as trumpt-HoverJ
Builder of a tsu lupins; bowr,
Alrijt dvcdlsE ever seen,
In the elm-trce's branches ffreen;
fiurles crolir, shall be
The little bird that sloops hi mill"
On tb Blue Jay's, ccreenlsh-gray,
Dottlnp fine would seem to say:
"t hattorliif: hraucart, crested thief,
Testr to the ooda in chief,
Dandy piy in brllllnnt blue,
t'ruel plutton, coward too;
Svrcamltic, tileaniiii: roRiie shall be
The little ulrd that sleeps In mcl"
On Bob Lincoln's, brownv-whlto,
This ls'wrlt, if I read riaht:
"Gailnnt lover in the clover,
Willi Ills gladness bubbling over;
Waltz r. warbllni; liquid notes,
Tcs, ami one ttiat lia li tno coats t
Nimble, neat, and blithe shall be
The little blnl that sleeps in mo I"
On the King-bird's, crcamy-hued,
Huns this legend: "Sulky, rude,
liny tyriuit, winced with b ack,
Hlg of head and gray of back;
Teaser of tlic haw k and crow,
And ( f flies the deadly foe;
Short and sharp of note shall bl
The little bird that sleeps in met"
On the Moek-blrd's, blulsh-crccn,
lu epot and b ot these word arc seen
"Prince ot MneerB, sober-clad,
Wildly merry, wildly sad;
Mcckinc all tho feuihered throne.
Bettering still each bird's own soug;
Madcap masker he shall be,
The Utile bird that sleeps in me!"
Helen Gray Cont, in Ut. XichtJas for August,
LORD SUMNER.
CIIAPTKU I
Judge Graf noy, although ho profess-
du great lovo lor American institutions.
was a snob. Tho sound of a titlo was
music to his soul. Ho spent a season
in England, and, during tho time, bo-
camo perfectly enchanted with British
manners and "especially with British
aristocracy. Tho judge's daughter,
nose, was siriKingiy nanusonio; :
trillo scornful, perhaps, but still won
derfully attractive. Sho had boon
taught that nothing in America was
good enough for her. Ono day, just
after site had attained her oighteenth
year tho jitdgo said to her:
"Rose, havo you over thought about
getting married?"
"Not very seriously, father."
"You havo had a proa I deal of com
pany, and 1 didn't know but that
sonic one of your many admirors had
Bueceeueit in impressing you."
"No, I have never bcon very deeply
impressed. There is plenty "of time
for mo to think of getting married. 1
am not in a hurrv, for at best 1 look
upon marriage as a sort of surrender."
"les, but all women should niarrv
She may bo a slavo in marriago but
without marriago sho
is nothing.
am proud of you, Rose."
"Thank vou, sir."
"Not at all. Ever since you wore a
little girl ever sinco your mother
died 1 have had almost tho ontiro
care of
doublr
you; so
wo havo cause to bo
attached to each other. Do
you know what I have long hopodp I
havo hoped that you may marry an
English lord."
"You are not rich enough, father,
to render mo so attractive."
"Yes, but your beauty is rich
enough. Come now don't blush. If
I can got together enough money next
spring I shall go to England again
and tako you with mo, and I wager
that you'll catch ono of tho liueyt
lord of the roalm."
"Perhaps 1 might not love hiiu. fa
ther. "
"What! not lore a peer? Nonsenwe.
Your uitu rutut bo to compel him to
lovo you."
"I have komelimos thought that I
can never lot anybody."
"That'a vhatrrr w otnsui fiuyg."
Insoolety Koo vua, in conboquonoo
of her father's snobbishness, at a dis
advantage. Koarly orwrj oae kw
of bar fathog'i awbititnw uubnojo,
got nfe' people vera o&eaa ooun to
slyly twit tho tflrl.
'Ooo evening a rather distiotulabeJ
man stopped ot tho rilhijo hotel aJ
wrolo the following on tao agister,
'corgo Alfonso Sumner, London,
England." The characteristic a su
ture was shortly afterward viowed by
a score of idlers. &iic of them
marked:
"I'll lot that's tho jiidgo's lord,
como ovor to clafni his own."
"1 shouldn't wonder," tho clerk ro
joincd. "Somebody ought to gogind
tell him."
Shortly afterwards, tho iudcro enter
ed the hotel.
"Judge," said a misciovous fellow,
"do you see that mnu ttaudimr over
there?"
Who, that tall, lino Jookimr fol
low?" 9 "
"Yes. Who do you supposo ho Is?"
"1 have no idea".
"I'll tell you. Ho is Lord Georiro
Alfonso Sumuor. of Loudon. It is
hinted that ho has come over in tho
interest of his government, to seo
about certain railroad bonds."
'That sop" tho judge with groat
concern hskou.
"That's what thoy tell mo. It is a
kind of secret mission, I understand.
He does not want any ono tu know
that ho Is a lord."
"Aroyou acquainted with him?"
"No.''
"I was in hopes you wore. 1 would
like to receive an introduction to
him."
Tho judgp iraa determined that
nothing should proTont him from be
coming acquainted with Lord Suroncr,
o, hen ho thought that no one wa
watching hini, ho approached tho
fctreugor, who had taken a scat on tho
balcony, and aid:
"How do tou do. sir?"
Tho man looked suarohingly at tho
judgo and thon replied;
"Very well, I thank you. Won't
you sit down?" inclining his hoad to
ward a chair."
"Thauk you, I will sit down. First
let mo introduce myself. I am Judge
Grafney."
"My minio is Sumner," replied tho
man. Thoy cordially shook hands.
The judge sat down. "
"You aro a stranger hero, I believe,
Mr. Stunner?"
"Yes, sir, 1 havo just arrived."
"How do you like our littlo town?"
"I am very well ploascd with what 1
havo seen of it."
"I am very glad to hoar it, sir, in
deed, hut 1 am very sorry that ottr
hotel doesn't allbrd botter acconuno
dations." "Yes, that is very unfortunate."
"How long do you expect to remain
in this out-of-tho-wav place, Mr. Sum
nor?" "1 hardly know. I dislike very
much to think that I'll bo cotnpollod
to put up with this hotel for any length
of time, especially as my only object in
coming hero is to seek rest, away from
tho busy world, in whoso grinding
turmoil I havo been so ruthlessly
whirled."
"Ah!" mused tho judge, "ho talks
like a lord." "You aro from London,
I believe?"
"Yes."
"Are you related to Lord Sumner?"
The man smiled and said that ho
was not. Tho judgo declared to him
self that it was a sly trick to conceal
his identity.
"Mr. Sumner, -ou spoke of the
hotel. How would you liko to remain
at my house during your stay hero?"
"1 should not like to put any ono to
trouble."
"No troublo at all, I assure you,
sir. I have a largo houso, plenty of
room and 1 live at home, sir; live at
home. Come, go with mo now, anil I
will send a negro after your luggago."
Nothing could havo tempted tho
judge to havo used the American term,
"baggago."
"1 shall avail myself, judge, of your
"kind oiler; and, let mo now remark
that if you should como to Loudon,
you will find mo most hearty in re
turn in r the courtesv."
OHAl'TKK II.
The judge's houso was large and
airy. Lord Sumner declared that he
was delighted witli the place. Ho first
met Rose at tho suppor tablo. "llor
beauty made him glad." Wlion sho
unconsciously smiled at him, ho was
thrilled. After suppor Rose and Lord
Sumuor repaired to tho richly furn
ished parlor. Rose, who by any
other name would havo possessed just
as sweet a voice, sang a pathetic song.
Lord Sumner said that it reminded
him very much of a song ho once
heard an American ladv sing in Paris.
"Havo you lived all your lifo in this"
charming place?"
"Yes, sir. I have never boon away
but once and that was when I accom
panied my father to Europe, several
years ago.'
"I own an old houso in Devonshire
It is larger than this, but I don't think
that it is so pleasant."
"Is It an old castlo?"
"Woll, hardly."
"Tho castles aro all owned by tho
aristocrats, I suppose.'"
"Yes, most of them."
"Do you bolougto tho aristocracy ?"
"No, 1 am only an ordinary citi
aen." Row knew better. She could noo
that he wan a lord. Tho judge, "'ho,
standing out on the porch, overheard
the remark, chuckled. "Ah," ho
nitiHud, "ue understand you bettor
than you imagine wu do,"
"Hov long do you oxpeet to remain
in America?" Roao asked.
"I hardly know. Thw fact is, I am
guflring from orervurk, and that an
extended sojoura in this invigorating
Ai;hborhool will ucauafat bm."
"I am rld you hiro ecmo. father
likes coinpoj."
"How almut j'evr.-lff"
"&n, I don't objnet to octeaoaov. I
009 io&)B ut, tines."
lBe Mxt day and Jatf Sim-
ib strolled thronea the vcwlv. Tfcs
judfca Was flltnl to aw towns tu&etlMr.
i toitik wo e0 is t fair vay to at
tain our object," ho tBtftJV "&o
what if ha should win Koto's Upr and
then turn out to be a preload But
confound it, ho docs not preload to b&
a lord. Oh, but ho is, though, Ife
must be. 1 can tell islord tho moment
1 set my oyes on him."
iioso luul already lallon in lovo with
the fascinating strangor.
CIlAITKIt III.
Lord Sumuor had remained durinir
several weeks at tho judge's house.
At lirst tho village people were much
amused, but after awhile tiioy bogan to
feel concerned. Rose was, aftor all, a
good girl, they said, and why should
sho th.ow hersolf away on a man who
was doubtless a worthless character?
The man who had told tho credulous
mi go, was no longer in town, nnd tho
totol clerk, who was not very friendly
toward tho judge, refused to ex
plain tho joko that had boon
played. A kind hearted old min
ister, desiring to savo his friend's
daughter from a disgraceful alli
ance, went to the judgo one day, and
suddenly breaking oil from a skill
fully designed introductory conversa
tion, said:
how u jour
"rim rate I tlmns tou.
"1 have understood that ho id a
lord."
"Oh, jci."
"How do tou know?"
"How do I know? WhT, sir, I havo
brou in England. I know n lord when
1 seo ono."
"Judge, read this."
Tho minister produced a newspaper
clipping, uesoriDing a man who was
going about the country, pretondingto
be lirst one lord and then another. The
writer nau very wen uosoriueu loru
Sumner.
"What do you think of it,
judge F" tho minister asked when
the jurist had liuishcd reading tho
paragraph.
"1 think, sir, that tho writer may be
correct, but that he cannot mean Lord
Sumuor."
"Judge, I am sorry to soo that you
aro so blind."
"Blind, tho douco, sir! It is you
who aro blind. You aro blinded" by
prejudice."
" ell, I seo it is useless to talk to
you."
"Quito so, sir."
"Onu of those days, 1 fear that vott'll
havo cause to regret your lack of con
sideration." "That's all right. I'll tako caro of
my allairs."
OIIAl'TKIt IV.
Roso and Lord Sutnnor sat in tho
parlor. Evening had como and tho
"chatterjacks" wore singing.
"Roso."
Tho girl looked up. Lord Sumnor
took her hands, "i usod to think I
could never lovo again, but 1 lovo
vou."
1 "Lovo again!" the girl gaspnd.
"uiu you over lovo ucioror '
"Yos, I was once married. My wifo
died two 3 oars ago. Sinco then I
have boon a wandoter."
"Why you said that you enmo hero
because yon were overworked."
"Yes, troublo imposed great labor
uK)ti me; but let all thai go. I am
entering upon a new lifo."
The girl remained s lent. He fond
ly gazed upon her. "Rose, you aro
dearer to me than all tho world. If it
were possible, 1 would in a now way
tell you of my lovo, but all forms
havo been employed. I can only say
that I lovo you and that I want you to
bo my wife."
"I will," she said.
.fust then the judgo entered the
room. Tho situation was explained
to him. "I willingly givo my con
sent, my lord, or rather Mr. Sumner.
My daughter, I am coniident, has
never before cared for any one."
Tho people of tho village were
shocked when they heard that Roso
was engaged. An old lady, promi
nent in socioty, called upon tho girl.
"I hoar that you aro engaged to ho
married?"
"Yes."
"Do you know anything of tho man's
family?"
"Nothing."
"Do you know anything about
mm1"'
"Nothing, only that I lovo him."
"My child, I am afraid that you aro
too young to tako so groat a risk.
Thoro aro fovoral young men in this
neighborhood, either of whom would
make you a good husband."
"I havo never boon searching for a
husband. I was never very keon to
rot marriod."
"I know that, and therefore I am
tho more astonished to soo that you
nro about to to must I say HP"
"You may uy what you choosu."
"Well, 1 am iMtomshod to boo that
you aro about to throw yourself
away.
"I'll attend to that."
"1 hopo sr, my child; 1 do onvnostly
hope so. You think that this man,
who calls hiiuHolf Sumner, in a lord,
do yon not?"
"Yes."
"Ho is not, nay caild. Ho by it pre
tender."
"All right. I woold isarry hint K
I If nnu' ihni uj'iu iv I.Mi'.f
"And cvttn thup auru bo prove di
Jtoa."
"Wll, u hoa 'tis hi paowd, X yU
to jivJl with kirn." "
"Ob, hov obafcisuubo yn 00."
"A ad cdt, hw ktUaseacdiiikjf yc&
wn."
"Ob, it's bo bene'suM 0 Juu,
b yew. UT eoarsa ywa miy mamy
wbce yeas eaoop. 1 tiiu& tgiy xtc
seae."
"Taiwdr T(ta,"
csapm r.
A fley- tafe tloe vooddiM! ww npfeta ne
ed. Tho jodftft, still Ulwd, M ut
coatflut to coBgrutabWto bisexu. 'tm3
wedding was to tako nJitw Thsws4y.e
Wednesday afternoon tiireatkitcctives,
who were looking lor u runaway bank
cashier, arrived in town. Ono of thorn
saw Lord Sumnor aud doe urod that ho
was tho man.
"Ho is tho most consummate scoun
drel in tho country," said ono of tho
olllcers, addressing tho hotel clerk.
"Wo havo followed hitr a long dls
Btnoo." "Aaln't you afraid lit '11 givo vou
tho slip this tlmoP" '
"No, wo aro keeping a close watch
of tho house. Wu nro going to wait
until tho ceremony Is abor t to bo per
formed and then we'll rush In and
nab him."
"It will almost kill tho girl."
"I guess not. When she learns
what an escape she has mado sho will
havo causo to rejoice."
"Tho old man will bo furious."
I wouldn't bo surpr sod, but ho
ought to havo better senao than to as-
By the way, judge,
visitor getting along?"
list his daughter io tbrovier bwsoR
(vwaT."
"Huah. Hero conies tho judge."
"I liaTe como down." said the ohl
man, addressing tho hotel clerk, "to
Invito HTorybody to attond the mar
riage of my daughter. 1 don't know
you, but will ou not come, sir?" lie
addod turning to the detctive
"Oil, yes, I'll bo tharc."
"Yes, couie up."
"You have made extensive prepar
ations, I understand," said tho clerk.
"1 haTo spared no expense, sir.
Roso is my only daughter, you know,
and I must give her a grand wed
ding." "It will no doubt be a pleasant af
fair," said tho detective, slyly wink
ing at tho clerk.
"Oh yes, I think so. What is yor
namo?''
"Smith," ropliod tho detective.
"Glad to moot you, Mr. Smith. 1
havo often heard of you," tho judge
good humoredlv added. "I shall ex
pect you to-morrow ovoning. Whcni
do you 11 vo, sirP"
"Now York."
"Ah! Of courso you'll not sco as
lino a wedding as you'vo doubtlest
seen in tho groat city, but after all
we'll soo that you enjoy yourself.
Woll, I must go around, now. My
prospective son-in-law did not want
cards to bo issued, so I am going to
surprise him. I'll show him how wc
scare up crowds in this country."
"lie's an old fool," said tho detec
tive when the judgo had gono.
"Hasn't got an ounce 01 sonsc," the
clerk replied.
Tho parlor of tho judge's houso wa
expensively docorated. A largo crowd
had assembled. Tho judgo was happy.
Sumner nnd Roso mndo their appear
ance "Now is your titno," whispered the
clerk.
"Yos," ropliod tho dotoctivo, "but
noithor ho nor his brother ofllccrs
moved. Tho ceremony was perform
ed; then Lord Sumnor, aftor shaking
hands with tho detectives said to hi
wife:
"Lot 1110 introduce my frionds the
marquis of Halford, tho earl of Tufton.
and Lord Gausot. "
Tho four mon joined each other
In a hoarty laugh. Tho crowl
was astonished. Sumnor, awaro of
tho suspicion with which ho was re
garded, had written to his distinguish
ed frionds, who were In Now York,
explaining his position and request
ing thorn to como in tho guiso of
detectives.
Lord Sumner is devoted to his wife
Rose, a recont letter declared, is
charmed with her Dovonshiro home.
Tho simple minded old judge, though
no longer n snob, is proud of ids son-in-law.
Opk P. Jletul, in Arkansata
Traveler.
Ought to bo a Detective.
A colored man camo out of an alley
off Michigan avontio yes t onlay and in
quired of tho grocer on tho corner:
"Say, boss, has you had a watou
mollyou stole away to-day?"
"Why, I doclaro, if somo ono hasn't
stolon a big ono which laid on tho ond
of this sholf!" oxclaimod tho grocer.
"Did you sco a white man an' 1
eull'd feller hangin' 'round yoro?"
"Como to think of it, I did."
"Dom ar' do chaps who stole dil
Btollvon."
"l5ld you aoa thorn?" naked tho
groeor.
"Nobbor did, snk."
"Thou how do you knowP"
Tho colored man took him down the
alloy and showed him two heaps of.
melon rinds aud oxclaimod:
'If do Biellyon wasn't dun stole no
body would come in hoah to eat it.
Dat pilo of rinds hain't half-gnawed.
Dat's jist do way wfalto folks oat 'em.
Do odder pilo am gnawed right down
to tho bark. Dat's do work of a eull'd
man, an' Joan' you forgit it. Down
dar' am a rind all alone. Do chaps
got scar't na' run'tl away aforo dey
was dun." .
"Say, nay bo you aro sharp enough
to catch 'om," said tho grocer.
"Wall, I dnnno," was tho roply.
but in tho courso of half an hour
tho man brought in a hang-dog look
ing Ait'ican mid tunned him over with
tho ronanrk:
"Hunk's ono o 'osn but do odder"
km Hkvpped"
"Sew do eo. !inv ttuA thiw fellow
"JUwe 1 mm ieoKoe for a uarkoy
wM nwaoilyen scod on las shirt-Ossom,
m' mim no iw4. ijbtb uun guilty,
!Mt Ibis aat thirty-llvo cents to settle
vdi yo."
th froo)iys lio'll liiaa) that man
e Haj (bet)utive) tro erbcaaka log
A liWX) laelvheo to yearn; mon wish-
it to cetWgmto to the wesL If you
nr coeaing for tho Ieasuro to find out
tho ways 01 tno west anu havo somo
fuir, como along: you can get plenty
of that. If coming with tho expecta
tion of idling your mirso with goldca
money by day's work, stay at homo
and dig among tho pino stumps until
times get a littlo hot tor. Tho ears aro
loaded every day with such young
mon, who, who 11 getting to their des
tination, lind no work nnd an empty
nurse. The only thing for thorn to do
noxt Is to doad-beat tholr way back by
riding betwoon freight cars or con
cealing thomsolvcs in box cars, If they
can bo found empty not quite as de
sirable a way as thoy came, iuere
was a young mau, recently, after be
ing klokod off tho train several time,
was asked .by the couduotor where ht
was going, said: "I havo started for
St rati! aud Intond to go there if tbo
seat of inv pants holds out" ittaAe
Cor. ileadvifle JteimblieaH.