The Oregon Scout:
VOL. II.
UNION, OKEGON, SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 1&S5.
NO. 7,
THE OREGON SCOUT.
An InJt' pendent wecklr journal, Issued overy
Saturday by u
"ONES & CHANCEY,
Publishers and Proprietors.
A. K. Jones, I
J 11. ClIANCF.V,
( Foreman.
Editor.
r. 1
HATES OF SUHSCKIPTION't
One copy, one year ft W
" Six months KM
" " Three months 75
Invariably cash In advance -,
Hates of advertising mado known on appli
cation. Correspondence from all parts of tho county
follclted.
Address all communications to A. K. Jones,
Editor Oregon Scout, Union, Or.
I., oil t;e Director-.
filUXIl llONDR VAM.KV I.OlNIK, No. Wi. A. F.
ond A. M. Meets on tho second and fourth
Saturdays of each month.
O. F. Hklu, W. M.
C. E. D.ms, Secretary.
Union Lodok, No. Va, I. 0. O. r.-Hepular
mcetlnps on Friday ovcnlnjrs of each week at
their hall In t'nlon. All brethren In koo1
standlntf aro Invited to attend. Hy order of
Uio lodKe. S. W. Lono, N. G.
U. A. THOMPSON, feecy.
Cliiirrta Directory.
M. E. Cnt'licu Divine service every Sunday
n, II n ... u ml T . tt, Uiiiwlil aflinnl at .1 1.
in. Prayer meetW every Thursday evening
at(l::). Hi'.v. ANiEiitOK. Pastor.
PitKSUVTEttiAN Ciiriicii-Sorvlces inornltitr
7id evening on thollrst and third Sundays of
each month. Sunday tchool overy Sunday at
1U a. in.
St. John's Episcopal Ciiuiicii Scrvlc
every Sunday at ii o ciock n. in.
Hev. W. H. Powell, Hector
Comity Officers.
Judro A. C. Cralk
Sheriff A. I.. Saunders
Clerk 11. F. Wilson
Treasurer A. F. llenson
School Superintendent J. 1. Hlndman
Surveyor E. Slmonls
Coroner E. H. Lewis
COMMlSSIO.VKItS.
Ceo. Acklos Jno. Stanley
Stato Senator L. 11. Hlnuhart
IIKPKKSKNTATIVES.
V. T. Dick E. E.Taylor
City Officer.
Mayor D. II. Hees
COUNCILMKN.
S. A. Pursol W. D. He'dlcman
J.S. Elliott Willis Skiff
J. II. Eaton G. A. Thompson
Hecorder J. II. Thomson
Marshal J. A.Dennov
Treasurer J. D. Carroll
Street Commissioner L. Eaton
Departure of Train.
Heirular east bound trains leavo at fi:!50a.
in. est bound trains leavo at p. m.
rndi'iissidXAL.
J. R. CRITES,
AT'ronrvuv at law.
Collecting and probato practice specialties
Olllce, two doois south of Postoilico, Union
Oregon.
K. EAKIN,
Attorney at Law aafl Notary. PuMc.
Oflleo, ono door south of J. II. Eaton's store,
Union, Oregon.
I. X- CROMWELL, M. D.,
Physician and Surgeon
Olllce, ono door 60uth ot J. II. Eaton's storo,
Union, Oregon.
A. E. SCOTT, M. D.,
IMIYSH'IAIV AIVI SJL'ICC'KOrNV
Has permanently located at North Powdor,
wherohu will answer all calls.
J. V. SIIELTON,
A X T 1 6 IV 1 3 V AT I,AVT,
Union, .... Oregon.
T. II. CUAWFOKD,
ATTOICM3Y AT I,AYT,
Union, .... Oregon.
I). Y. K. DEERING,
0 IMiyi-liiu and Siyeon,
Union, Oregon.
Offlco, Main street, nextdoorto Jones Ilros.'
variety store.
Ittsldunco, Mala street, second homo south
ol court house.
CuruglotlUcusos a specialty.
JUSTICK OF THE PEACE,
Votary Pulilie and Conveyancer. Ollloo. II
flrt, two iltMiri tiHkt of Joiiwt llroa,' ariotv
tor. Piilon. (r gon. wij
J. M. CARROLL,
Notary Public and Collecting hml
II. I'. lll'ltUUUII,
,tOflMOj III I.HM, lltllll HklitlU
W. T. Wiuoiit,
Cashier.
-0K-
UNION,
: OREGON.
Hoes a General Dnnkini; Rusines. Ruys
mid sells exchange, and discount cotu
mercial paper.
Collections carefully attended to, and
promptly reported.
-COMMERCIAL
Livery ai Feel
Ori'osm: Centennial Hotkl.
JOHN S. ELIOTT, - PROPRIETOR.
Having lurnished this old and populni
hostolr,)' with ample room, plenty of feed,
good hostlers and now buggies! in better
prepared thnn ever to accommodate cus
tomers. My terms mo reasonable.
GOVE TANNERY.
Adam Cuossman, Piioimiiktok.
Has now on bund and for sale tho best ol
HARNESS, LADIGO,
UPPER and
LACK LEATHER,
SHEEP SKINS, ETC.
ioifcTiA;vi Bm;KK
Paid for Hides mid Pelts.
WALLA WALLA
BEER DEPOT.
Corner Main and A Streets, Union.
E.MILLER, - Proprietor
Keeps ulwnys on hnnd tho finest brands ol
WINES,
LIQUORS,
and CIGARS,
Tho very best Lager and Rock Peer in
tho market, nt 25 cents a quart. Peer ami
lunch Ho cents.
A fine billiard tablo for tho acconimoda
tion of customers. Drop in and be sochi'
lile.
RAILROAD
FEED AND LIVERY STABLE
Near tho Court House.
A. F. Rk.NSO.V, - PllOlMllUTOK,
Union, Oregon,
Fine turnouts and first-class rigs for the
accommodation of tho public generally,
Conveyances for commercial men a spo
cialty.
-rTlie accommodations for feed cannot
bo excelled in thovallev. Terms reasonable.
RLUE MOUNTAIN-
Muin Street, Union, Oregon.
Hn.vuv SiiUKKit,
Ihtoi'itniToit,
SOrdors from nnv nnrt of tho valley
will receive prompt ntteution. 1 have on
hand somo very lino 110CK RKI3R. Drop
lnud sample it.
NORTH POWDER
Restaurant.
POXY STEVEN'S, PROP.
The travclinu nubile will nleaso tnko no-
lice that, in addition to mv saloon in
North Powdor, I have opened n ilrst-clnss
RESTAURANT, nnd resneetfull.v solicit a
siiuro ot tno public patronago. Tiio tables
win always bo supplied with tho
REST THE .MARKET AFFORDS,
nd no pains wUJ bo spared to make my
atrons comforniblo. O
Cull on me, eat, drink and bo happy.
Tonsorial Rooms
Two doors south of Jones Pros.' store,
Union, Oregon.
J, M. JoilNfiO.V,
PllOI'IlIKTOU.
Hair cutting, shaving mid shampooing
(lono noutly and in tho bust stylo.
CITY v MEAT v MARKET
Mln StrMt, Union, Oregon.
HomkM A Rkhimik, Phopiiihioiis.
ICiwp roulully ou kwl
JIICKF. 1'UK. VICAL, 41UTT0K, 8AU
UMtK. 11 A Mi, LAUD, ICTC
:- u
mi
I'mIU I'lvguM.
I' Muumh. PnarwMittM.
mmm. mm! mum M kf ti h4
riB"p DJWT- mn (mt Ikt
Geo. Wiugiit,
President.
L1FK ON A KANCIt.
An Old Lawyer Slphs for the Kree Life of th
Prairies
"If I wits a youn ninn," said Ilon
ry C. Townsond, tlio woH-know law
yor, j'csloriliiy, "I would go to Colora
do and try my success at cattlo-rals-inT.
Rut I am too old to chatigo my
habits, and a frouticrsiuaii life is ono
of exposure and privations. I have
just received a letter from my son,
who is located on a ranch in Me:i
county, Colorado, giving a gloninjf
picture of life on a cattlo ranch in the
far west. Mon county itj located
about tho middle of tho wentorn tier
of countios in Colorado, on tho west
ern slopo of tho Rocky mountain. IU
principal trading point isfTrand Junc
tion, a lively western town on tho
Denver and" Rio (irando railway,
whoro the Grand River elliptic into
the Gunnison. Tho cattle ranoh, or
"Grove Creek Range," as the boys
call it, is located on tho Grand Mesa,
sixty miles northwest from Grand
Junction, in the Grand river valloy.
Rv locating alternate sections along
Plateau crook, a tributary of Grand
river, the company of which my son in
n member have virtual control of a
tract of line grazing land, covering in
cxtunt nearly thirty thousand acres.
Spurs of tho Rocky mountains ledgo
this tract on two side?, and a fence line
ou the third limits tho wanderings of
tho cattlo. Residus the Plateau river
three other streams cross tho tract, af
fording unlimited water privileges.
The rango forms a portion ot the old
Uto reservation from which the
Indians were removed in 4870 to their
present hunting-grounds in Ouray,
some two hundred miles further south.
Shortly after the departure of the Utes
tho land was taken up in alternate
sections by Frederick S. Rockwell and
William C. Needles for stock-raising
purposes.
"In 1881 these adventurous frontiers
men wero joined by Frank Walworth
Smith, son of ox-Gov. Smith, of Ver
mont, and J. Trowbridgo R.iiley, pom
of Joseph K. Railey, ot Railoy, R.iuks,
& Riddle, of this city. Ono year later
my son, Lawroneo Townsond, went
out to Colorado and joined tho enter
prise. These live, witli George li.
Cowles, of Osceola, Iowa, are the pro
prietors of tho claim.
"Young Railoy nnd my son aro Phila
delphians born "and graduates of tho
University of Pennsylvania, while
Smith was, 1 think, educated at Yale.
Rockwell and Needles aro ranchman
and cattlo buyers of long experience.
From a small beginning, with x few
hundrod head four yoars ago, their
herds have grown until now they num
ber somo seven thousand head, togeth
er with a number of bulls of tho Hero
ford, polled Angus, and other rocog
nized lino bloods. Evory spring two
or more of tlio partners niako a trip
into Utah and purchase additions to
thoir herds from tho Mormons, and
drive them to tho corral on tko Grand
Mesa. During tho summer months
tho cattlo range far up tho mountain
side and ponotrato to tho head-waters
of tho mountain streams which cross
tho valley, until tho blasts of JNoveinbor
drivu them for shelter and supplies to
the plateau below. During tho winter
months, oven, tho cattlo feed upon tlio
grasses upon tho plateau, for the snow
fall is vory light and tho mountain
ranges protect thoni from wintry
storms.
"To manage mid caro for this lingo
arnij' of beef on foot a force of from
fifteen to twenty cowboys is n neces
sity. They aro located at tho canii),
in very nearly tho center of tho rango,
undor the chargo of Capt. John Du
rant, tho superintendent, who is quito
a character.
"A soldier of tho late war, ho has
sinco developed into tho frontiersman
and cattlo-rangor, whoso stories of
wild adventures on tho plains would
ii 1 1 a volume. Rut my stoiy is concern
ing our Philadelphia ranohmen who
livo in thoir littlo cabin near the lower
ond of 11$ plateau, whore tlio fonco
lino forms thoir boundary from tho
open plains. Tho plateau itself is
elevated GJ00 foot above tho sea level,
while tho surrounding mountains, lift
ing thoir hoads five thousand foot to
ward tho clouds, form on tho north
nnd west a perpetual barnor to tho
storms of whitor. During tho sunimor
months tho thermometer in this lovolv
valloy registers from .'10 to 10 dogreos
at night to lb or ou dogns by day,
while in winter tho moroury rarelv
falls to zoro. Tho security of tho
range allows our ranchmon opiwrtun
Rv to try thoir skill with tliu rille.
while tlio mountain slopos teem with
oik, deer, wildcats, anJ occasional
bears. During tho winter ono or both
of tho bovs coino homo for a fow
woeks' recreation, and toll wonderful
tales of their adventures in thtQviln
west that would match the bust
porformanco of Riiflalo Hill,
My rttory simply shows what tho
Philadelphia boys aro doing In tho
wost, and I think they aro ontltltk'd
to great credit tor thoir pluck nnd solf-
denial In Koparatiug themsolvus from
liomuaud irlonils to lead the rough ami
adventurous life of frontiersmen. And
yet, as 1 bald to you in tho lint plitoo,
if I wore younger and not so dlroiiyly
wedded to my oiwuturo ooinfoit, I
would go out with the boy mill try
wtMturu rtuioli life for u uniiniru,"
A inrfHJM btkur luf, Mr tm Umg ud
itlM lHtM In 4Uwtor m tint; Hp m Jul
18, ttMtl 4vtm f4 Iwtww Utf tt ( Uf lit
Vyum mhnhU . t.fwuU. will mu4om UAk
M mm (U iw mm-
A ti4Utti Uutti(H Tu (neat) ttammi
U$4 Is wsUtM knl
Lincoln's Second limucunitloii Rail.
Tho ball on tho evening of Mr. Lin
coln's reinauguration, writes Ren:
l'erley Pooro to The liosion liu&jd,
was li'dd in a largo hall of the depart
ment of tho interior, which had just
been completed. It was brilliantly
lighted and dre sod With Hags. Mr.
Lincoln and Spenker Colfax' entered
together, followed by Sir Lincoln on
the arm of Charle s'nniner. Mr. Lin
coln wore a lull black suit, with white
kid gloves, mid Mrs. Lincoln was at
tired in whito ilk, with a "plendid
overdross of rich laco, point lueo
bertha :tnd pulls of silk, whije tan, and
gloves. Her hair was brushed boi'k
snioo hly, tallimf in curl upon the
neck, while a wreath of jasmines and
violet encircled her head. Her orna
ments wero of pearl
Havinir promenaded tho ontiro
length of tlio room, they mounted tho
few up leading to tho seat nlueed
for them upon tho dais, while tho
crowd gathered dotisoly in trout of
them.
The army and navy wore well re
presented, "adding grofUly to the beau
ty of tho eune iu the bright uniforms
that every whoro flashed liefore tho
eyes. Admiral Farmirur, Sen. Hanks,
and Gen. Hooker shono conspicuously,
as did also (Sen. H til leek, who ?tood,
smiling and happy, to receive grcnt
ing lrom his friend.. The members
of the cRbinet assumed the seats U)ii
tho dias reserved for them, and up to
12 o'clock the crowd contiuued to
pour into the room.
At 1'2 o'clock tho door was opened
for supper, and the crowd which had
boon gathered about it for half an
hour rushed forward. Such a crush
and scramble as there wat! Little
screams, broken exclamations, and
hurried protestations against the rush
were heard upon all sides, but no ouo
heeded or cared for anything but to
liud a place at the table, at one end of
which stood the president, Mr. Lin
coln, and their mte.
That supper scene was ono norcr to
bo forgotten. Aside from .its luxury
and splendor, thore was so much that
was ridiculously laughable connected
with it one naturally looks back upon
it iu keen .amusement. The tables
having been instantly tilled up, all the
spaces between tho glass casos con
taining the ollice property were soon
crowded to thoir utmot capacity.
Many a fair creature dropped upon
tho benches with exclamations of do
light, while thoir attendants sought
bp supply them from tho table, to which
they had to light their way. Those
who could not i;ot scats stood around
in groups, or sank down upon tho
lloor in uttor abandonment from fati
gue. It was curious to sit and watch the
crowd; to hear the ray laugh, tho busy
hum of conversation, and the jingle of
plates, spoons, and glasses; to see
hands uplifted, bearing aloft hugo
dishes of salads and creams, loaves of
cake, and stores of candies, not infre
quently los;ng plentiful portions on
tho way. Many an elegant dress re
ceived its donation of cream, many a
tiny slipper boro away crushed swoets
anil meats, and lay amonur fragments
of glass and plates upon the lloor.
Ancient and Modern Haipbruldiiig".
Thoro seems to bo a wido dilleronco
of opinion concerning the cost of tho
steamship Great, Eastern, and her size
as comparod with Noah's ark. Tho
cost of building and launching tho
Groat Eastern was filJ.CiO.OOO, and this
broke tho original company. A new
company vai formed which spent
Su'OU.InH) in lilting and furnishing hiy.
Then this company failed and a new
one was organized with :t capital of
.S.')ULT,tO,W. At tlio close ot iw this
company sunk 6SC.715 upon tho ves
sel, thus making her total cost J,7o;j,
075. Nothing ever built can stand
comparison with tho Groat Eastern ex
cepting Noah's Ark, and even this
vessel could not match her. Tho
length of tho nrk was 1100 cubits, hor
breadth fifty cubits, and her flilght
thirty euGits. Tho cubic of tlio
scriptures, according to Hishop Wilk
ius, was 21 0'5-100 inches, and com
puted into English measurement tho
tho ark was f)l7 foet long, ninoty-ono
foot beam, fifty-four and seven-tenths
feot (R?pth, and 21,702 tons. Tho
Great Eastern is 080 feot long, olghty
threo foot beam, lifty-six feet depth,
and 28,09,'t tons measurement. So
Noah's ark is quito overshadowed by
tho Groat Eastern. New York Tribune.
Iltiiiian Skolls us Drinking C'ttp.s.
A writer in Longman's Magazine
has some grave suspicions about tho
drinklngcups used by paheolithlc men.
It is pretty clear, ho says, that tho earli
est drinking vessels used iu Europe
wero neither bowls of oarthoiiwaro
nor shells of fruits, for the cold climate
of ititorglnoical limes did not permit
the growth in northern latitudes of
such largo natural vessels as gourds,
calabashes, bamboos, or cocoauuts.
Iu all probability tlio horns of the
mi roe In and the wild cattle and tliu
spacious skull of tliu fullow-maii whose
bones ho had just picked at his ease
for his oiiunlbai supper formed the
aboriginal gobluU of the old black
European sitvago. A eiirloiu verbal
mile of the iiBti of horns uu drinking
mip kiirvlvtMi, Indued, down lo itliuol
modern tini In the Greek word km
amlu, ullll Ovjiiiinoiily applied to the
art (if potter), and dvrivixl, uf lyiiimii,
fruiu krH, h horn; wIiIIh its u skulls,
nut only WHiu tk) frwiiiuiilly uswil iu
drinking uM by uur Jiwtmlliiiivim
tutiMUjr. Uut villi oiUu u my uliiuu
tar lnuri!iwlhu ! In wliluh flu
gilay iM Rjlly Uwii muhlwl uu i
rmb uifVH luwn jnolilJ uu uttluljU'
lie ur uilmr uiihUIm veiuup
DU2BST1C HIST
oitANtu: srrn i.i:.
"reel and slice six oranges, put In a
glass dish a layer ol oranges, then ono
of sugar, and so on until all tho
oranges are ued, and lot stand two
hours; make a oU-boiled ctrstnnl ol
yolks of thrco Mfffs, o pint of milk,
sugar to tasto, with grating ot" orongo
peel for fUcor, and pour over tho
oranges whon cool enough not to
break tho dish. Ucat tho whitc3 of
the etrps to u stifl fvoth, svvcoton to
tasto and pour over tho top. Serve
cohl.
ITALIAN" OKASviK ICG CKEAil.
Ono pint and a half host croam,
twelvo ounces of whito pulverized
sugar, tho jtueo of ix oranges, two
teaspoonfuls of orange extract, tlio
yolks of eight egii and a pioch ot
alt. Mix in a poroololn-lined basin
and stir over the lire until it begins to
thicken; strain through a hair sievo
iolo tho freezer and liuioh.
OIIASdR AND COCOA NVT.
Three oeleil orances. Make al
ternate layers of orange slices, sugar
and irrated cocoanut until aglns dish
is tilled, having grated cocoanut ou
top; pour orange juice over tho top to
run through the layers.
COCOANl T II ACAKOONS.
Ono pound of sugar, three-fourths
lound of tlvmr, one-half pound of but
ter, two grated cocoauuts, whites of
five eggs. Drop on buttered paper in
tins, and sprinklo with sugar; bake in
a (piick oven.
fKIED H CAT CAGES.
Chop lean raw meat as you would
for sausage; auy meat may be used,
but beef "is best. Soason with salt,
pepper and onions; shape into flat
cakes, dip tho cakes, In egg and bread
crumb, and fry in dripping. Drain
on a strainer; have ready a dish of
nicely mashed potatoes, ou which pat
your meat cokes and mitc.
FKKMCU KOU.R.
One and one-half pints ot milk, one
half pint of yeast, one-(piartr of a
pint of warm water, one-half ounce
of salt, two ounces . of butter, Hour
enough to make a thick batter. Man
ner of mixing: Tako the milk and
let it get quito warm, but not hot; stir
into it the yeast, and add enough
Hour to make a thick batter. Put it,
into a pan, covering it over, and keep
it iu a warm placn. When it has risen
as high it will, add th warm water,
butter, salt, and enough Hour to make
your dough not too stiff. Let it stand
for three-quarters of an hour and it
will bo ready to make into rolls. Lot
tho rolls stand awhile covered over
with a clean cloth, and thou bake in a
quick oven.
KSOAI.I.Orr.l) SWKJ.T l'OTATOES.
Slice enough cold boiled sweet pota
toes to make three pints, and sprinkle
with a teaspoouful of salt and a littlo
popjMflr. HutUr largo shallow dish
and spread the potatoes iu it, making
a layer not over an inch thick. Melt
one-third of a cupful of butter in one
fortli of aouptul ol boiling water, aud
after sprin klintr a quarter of this liquid
ovor the potatoes, put them into a hot
oven. Hi ton minuted sprinkle anoth
er quarter of tho liquid ovor thorn;
and ropont tho act tico more at in
tervals of ton minutes. After tho Un
til sprinkling lot the dish btko ten
minutes longer, or forty minutes in
all. This is a nice cntreo for dinnor,
Rinl is also appropriate for breakfast.
It moy bo made much richer by using
more buttRr and no wator for tho
bailing. SHinotiincB a tftbloipoooful
of migor is mixed with the butter and
water, but it is doubtful if oo improve
ment is thus wade.
fAUSffll PBW.
Thrco slicos of solt porfe, boil ono
hotrrnnd a half; orapo livo iKrgo pOr
snips, cut quartors lonirthwise, add
to the poro, Ond let bollouo-hnlf hour;
then add Q few potatiOis, Ond lot oil
boil togothor until tho potatiOis aro
soft; the fluid iu tho bottle should bo
about a cupful Oheu ready to tko oil'.
froigiucu'g ?W3 ifi 111(0).
In tho groat oitios unskillod Work
men oro hired by tho day, bought
their own food and found toir offn
Iftlging. Rut in tho country, on tho
farms, or whorovor a hand' was em
ployed on somo public work, thoy
wero fed and lodged by tho oniployor
aud given a fow dollars a month. On
the Pennsylvania canals the diggers
atu tho coarsost diet, woro J&msod in
tho rudest shedi and paid $G a mouth
from May tOfjNovoinbor and $5 a
month from November to May. Hod
carriers and mortar-mixers, diggors
and choppers, who from 17J3 to 1800
labored on tho public holdings and
out the streets aint avenues of Wash
ington City, received 870 a your, or, If
they wished, $G0 for all the work thoy
could porform from March 1 to De
cember 20. The hours of work woro
invariably from sunrise to sunsot.
Wages ut Albany and New York woro
three shillings, or, as money then
went, forty cents a day; ut Lancaster,
$8 to $R) n month; elsewheie In Penn.
sylvanla workmen were content with
$0 in summer uud $5 In winter. At
ilaltluioro men wero glad to be lured
nt eighteen pence a day. None, hy
tho month, nsUd more than $0. At
PrndnrloUbiirg the price of I it bur was
from ir'ft to 7. In Virginia white
won. employed by tliu year, were
given
JLIO nurrouey; slave, Whon
wiireolotluMl und Uinir iniutors
hlrwl,
iiuld JL'l u inuiilli Aiuiiud Vlrgliiln
u pimiid wik, In l ed hiii I liiDiiuy, Tl fltJ.
Tim uvumgti rulw uf wngiw (ho luiul
KtitL liyrunw. lodging, Out ul
fnif.
UJM I1MJJ
iuo) lliu MiTirklituii iniiki,
mrt ijBln, lUflluliUo Til
( ,411111),
Wilted Ambitions.
Ono tie,), in winter, I think it vftw in
th blood curdling month of January.
I conceived a bright ubia It struck
me auddcnly in tho middle of tho
afternoon and I set about it at onee,
I Wbnt through all the antique tlictioft
nrios, heathen mytholojv and ancient
spelling book in the public lilirarless
aoil after careful resrsrch, In ucd
book as "Mother Gooso" and "Tbe
House that Jack Dtiilt.'' I, folt tbat L
had paid proper respect to the louscii.
had courted them long ooougb to ait
down and bo iuopiiod. and 1 was, for
l detonninod to sring a pet goat upon
my pub!ihers. 1 began my tak lifr
orally burning with wonder and ad
miration at my own genius. I went
on with my work, swelling with prida
and egotism, an in my iniod's eve I
could fee Mark 1'waiii, Josh Rilling
and all tho other noted humorists
knocked out of time and rotiring to
private lifo, green with envy. JSurolw
thi? goat would render me immortal";
I could sop him gallopingdown to pos
terity at the rate of forty kiiota ao
hour. My pot Goat (I potlod it witb
a bijr G) 1'iort just laid out his purchas
er, Mr. Broadside, aim was just pro
paring to pay the same delicate alieo
tion to Mrs. Rroadsidc, when I woa
compelled to lay down my pea and
lu.TuraU) iu unstinted mirth; I could
sec tuc great reading public all over
the country, convul'd with laughter
over tho playful idiosyncracics ot Mr.
Uroadside's (tetgoat, and with all the
impatience of genius, and yet with the
unbridled thirst of youth, linked to
age, for applnuso, I seiied my pen ami
plunged into the vortev of my joke.
The goat telesco'Kul Mrs, Rroadside
and affably scuttled the balance of the
family; 1 then wrote liuis, scratched it
out aud substituted quantum, suficit,
then laid down my pen with a chuckla
of supreme satisfaction.
In the lirst Hush of triumpli, over
the completion of my article, I pro
nounced it perfect; but, after a care
ful lHiruial, I discovered a few errors
in the technique and somo phsycolo;
ioal inaccuracies, not enough priads
and too many hyphens. After care
fully revising, remotlelinjf and re
vamping, it was ready for the press.
I roso up gayly in the morning of
the day, when I intended to mud it off
to the lucky publisher, siuglnp
snatches of old biblical sons; while
parting my hair in tho middle. E
gathered round my family board and
mot my nearest relations at an early
breakfast. All went merry as a mar
riage boll until tho arrival "of the post
man; among the numerous papers,
which ho loft, I opened a Siftings,
and with distendod eye and paralyzed
comprehension, I behold a goat hold
ing high carnival with an old gentle
man and what there was loft of tho
t rou Mrs of a small boy; I leaned back,
litorally gasping for lireath; -then in a
dazed manner, I opened a Washington.
Ihtfchct, and O horrors! staring mo
in tho face was a goat, rampant and.
occupying all the avnilabu spaco
aruiind lutu, und whet appeared to be
the wreck of a uwcond-band clothing
store. Half maddened, I clutcbed0tho
third paper and with trembling hand6,
laid it open upon the tablo, and again,
the ubiquitous goat camo to tho front
plaving leap frog and toss and catch
with tho best baby, whoso father aud
mother, iiietho back-ground, woro in
tho act of unrainbling to their foot to
fly to the rcrfjmo ot their imperiled
limtutont.
I could bear no inoro; ith a ftasp
inp; 6i;h I fll forward on my face;
when I camo to I ttas assisted from
tlio bt cRB foot room a wi.Drbut madder
rutin, tho victim of blasted hopes and
ohrivelod ambition.
4 yoor ami c Lolf lies elapQal si&co
thou. The Qour.d has healed, but tfeo
tfliar still remains. I have lifid Mr.
Rroadside end his pet $o$t ou OJy
hands ever since. Will some kind
lu'Crtod Olitor tell mo what to do with
him. Olin Ophir, in Chicago Sun.
. , o
o i fiJ'cniitiflfo UfjQor.
"Recruits Van ted. U. S. Army,"
said the sign, and in front of the ollico
toi8l a line-looking soldier in a now
uniform.
"HcJ' Is tho rocrulting business?" I
Ctskod.
J "Poor onougli. Wo aro not averaging
livo recruits a wcok."
"Thon your efforts nt obtaining ac
cessions to Undo Sam's army arc not
vory successful?"
"Successful? WhjPl do my best to
keop pooplo from yulstlng," was Uio
startling response.
"That's scarcely consistent with.
your position," I replied.
"Hut it is with my conscience It la
n cat-and-dog's life, and to uny likely
looking young follortlmt want to join
I say, 'Keep away, n you dou't want
a lifo of slavory.' If it wasn't for
liquor I should be in a hotter business
myself."
I walked on, and pondered tho
strange ni&maly of a rocrulting
soldier wh dhf his best to liro
vout the hlrlug of recruits. New York
titar,
A Doctor Using Cunlesv 1'lgeoiiB.
Dr, Ego has adopted a novel plan to
oominunlorttu with hU patient oiusidn
of tliu olty. He has several trained
oarrlm- pigeons. Tlioao lio taken with
him mid when hit luu a never" vuso
luavus one, with liivlriiiHIoiu that In
uasu ho U wunted quickly nil tho
friends liiivu In do I o tluu unto u
ono of Iho plgoonii's leg nnd ul It My
In IhU wuy liu fiewuontly rooulviu
iuiMiigti fiiiin liU lok prtllDllU Alt tQ
llmlr iMiuilliluii Voitorduy nfiu u( Hid
llid iiuiiiu Ihiiiiu (ruin t pulnj iittHi"
HuUllllVII. V)rtllg Iho (oIIdwnk HtHt
luge. "Mwlher U duller, Iml
Hff))liv " '111" dnojur m HJiw 4