The Times-Monntaineer 8ATURDAY........ DECEMBER 2, '.893 " ITEMS JN BRIEF FrcHr4VcJnda' Daily. Hon. A. R. Ly'e. ofxCrook county, is in the city. Circuit conrt adjourned list night until Friday mornii g Mr. J. Pillman. of Portland, was in the city yesterday on business. Mr. J, B. Alugi'l and wife, of Wamic, Ore., axe reentered at the Umatilla Hcnse. ' Last Saturday the county elerk granted marriage lioeuse to Frank C. Birtlett and Miss Mary E izibeth Covey. There were no new arrivals at the city jail laat night : but there are enough to keep the building pretty full. B. P. Watson and O. P. Mason, editors of the Mercury, in defanlt of bail, spent Sunday night in the Portland jail. A drove ot bogs in good flesh was driven from Klickitat county to the slaughter house of the Columbia Pack ing Co. to-day. Mr. Frank Maloney received a dispatch from the sheriff at Evanston, Wyoming this morning, instructing him to hold the man arrested yesterday A band of cattle came on the boat last night from Camas prairie for the Colum bia Packing Co. They are now at the stock yards of R. . Saltmarshe & Co. Marriage licences were granted yesterday by the county clerk to J. Van Wydom B'aterbos and Misa H. L. Wyera and to Albert Harry Morris and Mits Katrina DeHoff. Mr. Frank Gabel returned Monday morning from an extended visit at his old home in Wisconsin. He had a pleasant time with old friends, but is very glad to get back to Oregon. Notwithstanding the continuous down pour of rain quite a number of tanners were in town to-day from the country. The roads are not as bad outside of the city as they are in The Dalles. Last night, after a few hours cessation, the heavens were opened and the rain poured down in torrents. It seems that . enough moistnre has fallen in the last few months to supply the soil for the next generation. Sheriff Ward left this morning for Salem, having in charge Cheater Cole, who was sentenced to one year in the penitentiary for larceny of a horse, and Albert Valen tine who was sent to the reform school for larceny in a dwelling. lne constant downpour of rain appears to have cast a gloom over onr community. Our citizens are active and enterprising when they have clear sunshine; but when rain falls incessantly and murky clouds embrace the hornzon.they have gloomy feel ings and dark fore-boding. Mrs. J. M. Vanduyn arrived in the city last evening from Independence. She is the daughter of Mr. W. J. McfJorklr, of Tygb, and is enroute to the old homestead. The shock of her brother's death near Kent a few days ago actuated her to visit her father during his sad misfortune. E. Brighton, who recently plead guilty in the U. S. courts at Hbrtland for smug gling opium and was sentenced to the . penitentiary for six months, committed suicide in the jail at that place Saturday "by cutting his throat The fight going on in Baker City be tween the tinhorn gamblers has given the public a good expose of their crooked practices in that town, and it should be a warning to those persons who have been contributing regularly to the tinhorn's support. At the Kriss Kringle party the Ladies' Aid society will place on sale a desirable line of needle work and lancy articles. Especial attention will be given to arti cles to bo sold tor 25 ceDts. Any one wishing to make Christmas presents will be well paid to await this sale. Mr. Walter S. Geary, piano tuner of 26 years experience, at present perman ently located in Portland, is in the city, ' and will attend to any work in that line. Orders left at either of the music stores, or addressed to him personally through the postoffice, will receive prompt atten tion. The grand rnothtr of Sherman Kent, the schoolboy fatally shot by the acci dental discharge of a weapon, at La Grande, died Sunday, an illness from which she was suffering being aggravated by the shock which her grandson's death occasioned. The unfortunate boy's mother is reported to be on the border of the grave through prostration oyer her be reavement. The report was received yesterday that the cannery belonging to Allen Parker, at Oneatta on Yaquina bay, had been blown down and destroyed, entailing a loss of V000 or $9000, says the Albany Herald of the 28th. The accident happened dur ing the great storm on Saturday. The cannery had not been in use for (he past four years.but was complete with all ma chinery ana appliances. Three young men desiring some sort of novel amusement went rafting down the Umatilla, Monday, says the East Orego nian. They launched their aw&ward craft at the Lee street bridge, and floated down the river at far as the meuth oi Birch creek, luckily averting en route several disasters that seemed imminent. The navigators were Glenn Shull and Arthnr Hicks. The twenty dollar gold piece has been coined since 1850 and contains f 20 worth of gold besides the alloy. The total amount coined is $1,103,292,980 up to July, 1891, The ten dollar piece has been coined since 1795. The five dollar 'piece since 1795. The three dollar piece since 1853. The two dollar and a ha'f piece since 1796,and the one dollar pieces since 1849. The constant ram is the subject of gen eral comment, and the oldest inhabitant declares that so many wet days have never been recollected in the history of The Dalles. One gentleman.lnterested in the deyelopment of the country, said that with such bountiful showers of rain that have been experienced during the past fall Eastern; Oregon would soon become the garden spot of the continent. Crops of all kinds would produce abundantly, and there wouldnever be the least fear f a failure. Dr. M. A. Flynn, of East Portland, is in tbe city. The doctor was at the Warm Springs agency about twenty years ago; but for the pant nineteen veara has practiced his profession in different portions of the state, and for the last eight years has been located in East Portland. He will eat Thanksgiving dinner with his mother and sisters in this city, and then visit his father-in-law, Mr. W. J. McCorkle at Tygb. Altbengb away so many years be ays Tbe Dalles appears home-like to him, and it affords him great pleasure to set ao many old friends. The latest gunning accident is from Lebanon, and is thus mentioned by the Advance: "Mr. Bundy, foreman of tbe Waterloo Development company, had one of his thumbs shot off last Wednesday. Mr. Bundy and Harry Kay were out hunting and had killed a bear and a deer. They were carrying the deer between them, having the deer slung over the gun and the ends of the gun on their should ers. Mr. Kay who was behind, slipped and let his end down, and the gun was nccidenlly discharged while Mr. Bund happened to haye his thumb over the muzzle. It was lucky that it was his thumb and not bis head that happened to be over the muzzle of the gun." Salem Statesman: Tbe governors of all the eastern and southern states have wired answers to the San Francisco Ex aminer to tbe following question : "What is the chief thing for which the national gratitude should be evoked in thanks giving on Thursday next?" As the list of governors of the union would be incom plete without response from Govcnor Pennoyer, his excellency made this char acteristically brief reply: "God's benefi cence alone." The following from the columns of the East Oregonian is one of the effects of the Democratic victory last fall: "W. L. Gibson, the sheep grower and rancher of Birch creek, is the latest local victim of the wave of financial distress that sweeps over tbe country. A deed or assignment was filed this afternoon, in which Mr. Gibson turns over his property to apply upon the payment of his debts. A. F Eddy is named as assignee. The assests are given at $5950, and consist principally of sheep and wool. The liabilities are $3921, the principal creditors being Wat son & Luhrs, $900; Alexander & Hexter, $1000; Pendleton Savings Bank, $420; Christy & Wise, $1080; E. U. Clarke, $2C5." From Friday's Daily. Miss Bess French is visiting ber parents in this city. Mr. and Mrs. Van fatten, of Grants, are in the city to-day. Mrs. M. B. Potter, of Hood River, wsa in the city 3 esterday. Hon. J. C. Lackey, of Warm Springs agency, is in the city. The plat ot Eist Belmont was filed with the county clerk to day. Master Willie Crossen spent yesterday with his parents in this city. Mr. E. C. FitzPatrick, of Tygh valley, stock inspector of this connty, is in the city. John Prall, indictei for obstructing a stream, was fined $56 and costs on Tuesday laat. Master Georgie Moabus, of New Tacoma, Wash., is visitiug bis sister, Mrs. Nolan, in this city. Mr. Frank French, of the Portland nui versify, spent Thanksgiving with his par- eats in this city. Mr. W. H. Moore, the leading merchant of Moro, wan registered at the Umatilla House yesterday. Miss Grace Marden and Georgia Sampson left Wednesday fo:- Goldendale where they ill visit Mrs. Donnell. Mrs. J. M. Patterson and son Glenu left Wednesday morning for Salem, where she spent Thanksgiving day with her parents. Judge Bradshaw heard a number of mo tions this morning, rendered his decisions and adjonrned conrt ULtil Monday morn-log. A motion for a new tri il in the case of MacEachern & MacLeod ys, S. B Aditns was denied by Judge Bradshaw this morn ing. S. F. Call- A new feature in "A Cele brated Case" is tho introductiun of violin solos by Miss E. Alma Stuttz, which are grand. A landslide at the mouth of the tunnel in the siskyou uiountaius delayed tbe Southern Pacific train several hourj last Tuesday. The inicial performance of the Stuttz Co. will be "A Celebrated Case" next Monday night, Deo. 4th. Secure teat at Snipes & Kinerely's. . The west bound passenger train did not arrive in the city yester .ay morning nntil II o'clock. It was delayed by washouts farther east. We were informed to day that not more than one half of the grain in Sherman connty has been marketed ytt, and nearly every bash el of this has been damaged by rain. Rain, has been nearly continuous for the past week, and it is a matter of surprise to the oldest inhabitant. Such rainfall has never been witnessed in the history of Eist- ern Oregon. Temple Lodge, No. 3, A. O. U. W., in itiated seven members last night, and alter tbe exercises bad a banquet, furnished in recherche style bv Mr. Andrew Keller, the confectioner. From our exchanges throughout Oregou and Washington W3 see nothing but tbe pruue in behalf of the Stnttz Co., who play here next week. Everyone should take ad vantage of the opportunity and not fail to see them. Mr. Henry Howard, a yonng man cf Walla Walla, waa attacked in his room Wednesday morning, and severely beaten about tbe head. He finally fled from bis assailants, gave the alarm, and his room mate was arrested on suspicion. There were two drnnk and disorderly persona arrested last night and lodged in the city jail. This morning they were brought before the city recorJer, and one was allowed to go on his own recognizance, and tbe other was lined and rt pleir.ishtd the city treasury. C'emen Wettle, the 12-year-old son of Jacob Wettle, of this city, in handling a mule veaterday evening, was kicked by the animal in the abdomen, and suffered severe bruises and lacerations. Dr. Hollister was called and attended to the injuries, and the boy is resting easily. A father and son in Coos county eloped with two sister-, a niece and a cousin re Bushee, DeanLtpectfolly of their liega lords and bearing a'Kthe same name. People who would like to 6gure out kinship cm lake a slate and pen cil and go to work on tbe father's kinship to the son and the relation by marriage of tbe two sisters. This is what tbe Salem Statesman says of the railroad situation in regard to Astoria: "It any responsible company gets bold of the Oregon Pacific railroad at the sale De ce mber 14tb, of cuurse Salem will get a line to the sea through tbe Grande Ronde pass and on to Astoria. This is the natural and only reasonable route for the road run ning to Eistero Oregon through tbe Msnto pass." Eugene Guard: It will be remembered that an announcement of the death of A. Male was made in Monday's paper. Two more from the same family died this morn ing at their home on the McKenzie river oppesite Springfield. The fatal disease waa la grippe in all three cases. At 7:30 o'c'ock this morning George Male, the aged father, passed and a little over an hour later tbe mother followed. The difference between a toadstool and a mushroom is tbe difference between an eel and a rattlesnake in effect. There is but one sure way of telling mushrooms from toadstools the stems of the former are generally shorter and thicker and invariably solid; the stems of tbe toadstools are hol low.. The man who gives this information declares that be baa picked and eaten many mushrooms, nsiog this test alone. R. R. Hayes, of Portland, who gained some notoriety as the only delegate who voted for Harrison in tbe Chicago conven tion, has made a contract for Lake connty for a "present owner book," in which he gets 18 per cent, of lauds thus found, and the connty the remaining 82 per cent.,when assessed, sas the Examiner. And the peo ple will kick when they come to pay him for bis work, and don't yon forget it. The Chrysanthemum club of this city gave a very enjoyable party at Schanno'a hall on Wednesday evening. There was a large number present, and the programme of dances waa well arranged. Tbe moaio was very excellent, and the lovers of the mazy dance had a rare opportunity to in dulge in this amusement. These parties given by the Chrysanthemum club are be coming yery popular, and on every occasion attract the beauty and chivalry of the city. Nicholas Wright, a pioneer of Southern Oregon, died at hi home in Jacksonville Tuesday morning. Mr. Wright was a Mex can war veteran and served through the Rogue River Iodian wars. He was highly esteemed by all who knew him, being not tor his genial, cheerful disposition and pio neer hospitality. He was a native of Mis souri, 81 years of age, and leaves a wife many years hU junior, who attended him with constant devotion during the many months of his fatal illness. Georg-3 Belshaw, the veteran wheat raiser of Lane County who recently received five world's fair premiums, as well as premiums at the Centennial, New Orleans and Paris, died at Farmington, Wash., Wednesday morning, at the ge of 78 years. For 25 years he made wheat raising a specialty.and took the lead 111 his exhibits wherever they were placed. Oregon has lost a good citi zen, whose services were of great value in advancing tbe interests ot the state. He was visiting at the home of a son when he died R. M. Steel, the lumberman, says the La Grande Chronicle, returned a few days ago from the east, one of the objects of bis mission being that of a conference with the receivers of the Uuion Pacific railway, to see if his contract for the supplying of ties was in anyway affected by the lecent change in the road's management. There will be no particular change. The road needs ties now, the sime as it did before and while Mr. Steal wai not informed as to the exact number that would ba required, he was given an estimate, and as a result of this information several saw-mills in this vicinity that have been lying idle for four or five months will start up again. Thanksgiving Day. From Fiidav's Daily. Thanksgiving day was observed yester day as it should be. Union services were held at the Congregational church, and Rev. W. C. Curtis preached oue of his able ser mons. He dwelt on the present distress now prevailing, and the necessity of every one lulnlling bis obligations to his fellow man. The discourse furnished food for re flection to all cogitative minds in regard to tbe day, and tbe manner in which it should be kept by all patriotic citiz:os. During a greater part of the day tie busi ness houses were closed, and a general holi day was enjoyed. In mauy families a re union took p'ri'.-e around the dinner table. Fathers and sons, mothers and children. brothers and tisters met together ou this oc casion who had been separated for years. Old associations were revived, and many lived their lives over again. The day was not agreeable, there being almost a continuous tall of rain, and tbe gloominess of the atmosphere appeared to have its effect upon tbe people. There was no joyous expression 00 the face of the citizens, and the business depression and the destrnction'of wheat by reason of ex cessive moisture appeared to throw a pill over tbe community. Generally considered it was not such a Thanksgiving day as bos been exDerienced in this usually prosperous country. In the evening an entertainment was given at St. Mary's academy, which at tracted quite a large audience. The seats were filled, and the aisles wern occupied by chairs. A splendid programme of literary and musical exercises were rehearsed, and the entertainm -Dt gave general satisfaction. There were several numbers worthy of es pecial mention, and among which were a medley sung by a class of boys, instru mental duets by the pupils, the farce of ill uess without disease. The Dalles brass band, the tableau ot Hope and Faith, and Grand ma's Dream, beautifully rendered by little Miss Mary Mclnerny, who has a sweet voice and who displays considerable mus oil cultivation for one so young. Several pieces were loudly applaudedand the performance reflected great credit on the "Sisters in charge of the academy who had trained the pel former'. A Dastardly Outrage- The following from the columns of the Albany Democrat, contains the account of a most brutal outrage committed near Oakland, Ore : "A dastardly outrage was committed on Sunday morning about 1 o clocK on 1 nomas Sutherland, who re sides on his iarm about three miles south of Oakland, by two men who entered his house for tbe purpose of robbery. At the time of their entrance Sutherland who lives alone was asleep. Tbey awoke him and demanded his money. He said he had but $40 about the premises, which they took, and then demanded more. Sutherland Insisted that was all the money he had. Then they took him to a locust tree and hung him by the neck, trying to extort a confession that he had more money. The limb broke, and then they took bim to the barn and bung him the second time and left him and returned to tbe house. Sutherland managed to untie himself. They then took him to the house aud tied him to the bed, put paper on his hands, lighted it, and burned bis hands to blisters. When the robbers suc ceeded in getting no more money they left the house, and Sutherland went to his brother's house near by and gave the alarm. The robbers wore white handker chiefs over their faces. One mau was tall, the other was short and heavy set. Sntherland has no suspicion who the men were. They had no light when they woke him up." Monis-BeHuff Nuptials. Last Tuesday evening Miss Katrina De Huff was married to Mr. A. H. Morris at the residence of the bride's parents in this city. Rev. E. D Sutcliffe, rector of tbe Episcopal church, officiating. The hride is the youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs.. De Huff, and has resided in The Dalles from early girlhood. She has a host of friends among her associates, and is a yonng lady of the most amaiable traits of character. Mr. Morris, the groom, was formerly a resident of the city, but is now in tbe employ of the Union Pacific at Albina. The wedding was only witnessed by members of the family and particular friends. On tbe morning train, after the ceremony, the hride and groom left for Albina where they will make their future residence. The young people receive the congratulations of the commu nity on assuming the new relations of life, and earnest wishes will be extended to them for nothing but summer sunshine and pleas ant breezes on the ocean ofjifa. A liar With a Big-Fish. "Dear ! dear I" exclaimed George H. Pegram to a covey of railroad birds in the St. - James, "how many liars there are in the world anyhow. Every small and largo town has its star liar, and my old town had one. My old town was Chatham, Mass. There was, when I was a boy, an old fellow of the name of George San ders, who wore without an effort the Bilver star of champion long distance liar for the town and neighboring Vicinity. This fellow had been, ac cording to himself, lost 0 times in great ocean wrecks. He had wan tiered naked and starving up and down cannibal islands and been res cued in a most providential manner. Sharks and whales had vainly har bored designs against his life, and in variably he had led them a bootless chase. In doing all this he had also established his star reputation. One day George came into the town drag- eine: after him an immense coonsn. "He stopped at all the nouses, ne was so well known, and calling out the inhabitants pointed with pride to the fish and said: 'Now, if l natt told you people I had caught a fish of that size you wouldn t have beiieveu It.' Georee knew his reputation wen, and he knew that to gain the actual credit for his catch that he would have to work for it. It always tickled me to think that the biggest liar in town should catch the biggest fish and then be compelled to drag it all around town to prove it." St. Louis Globe-Democrat ONCE IN THE BIBLE. Sleeping; In Gloves. There is an anecdote of Dr. Russell, the famous war correspondent. The most unenviable position in which he ever found himself was not m battle, but in bed. As the story runs, the corresnondent was on the way to India with the Prince of Wales and stormed at the nalace in Athens. The king made an appointment with him for an early walk. Dr. Russell nar rates: "I went up stairs to bed. I couldn't sleep. The mosquitoes bit me to their hearts' content, particu larly about the hands and arms. I happened to have a pair of long white kid gloves in my bag. lgotupanu put them on. I awoke m the morn ing with the knowledge of having somebody bv mv bedside, it was tne kina:, accompanied by his big dog. It was 6:301 I sat ur in bed. 'Inhalf an hour, Mr. Russell,' said the king, Bmiliner as he left the room, 'I shall come back for you.' At breakfast that morning, during a moment of silence, the kins:, addressing the queen, with a sly glance in my direc tion, said: 'Well, I've met a great many dandies in my time, but Mr. Russell beats them all. He actually Bleeps in white kid gloves."' Careful Searcfi Shows Dictionaries and Concordances In Error. A minister in North Carolina and another, and also a Bible teaeher in Kentucky, have been puzzled over this query, "The word 'its' is found only once in the Bible where?" They say: "Will you please tell us where? We have failed to find it." It is not remarkable that a minister of expe rience should fail to find the answer to this query. The word "its" is not found in the best concordances of the Bible, such as Cruden's and Young's. Moreover, Worcester's larger dictionary quotes the statement of Trench, "Through the whole of our authorized version of the Bible 'its' does not once occur. Although Worcester corrects an error of Trench in respect to the use of the word "its" liy Shakespeare and Mil ton, he does not correct the state ment in respect to the use of the word in the authorized version of the Bible. Webster's Unabridged Dictionary also says, "The possessive form, 'its,' is modern, being rarely found in Shakespeare and Milton, and not at all in King James' version of the Bible." The same statement is re peated in Webster's new Interna tional Dictionary, word for word. Dr. Angus, in his "Handbook of the English Tongue," also says: '"Its' is a recent torm in imgiisn. it is sel dom found in Shakespeare and never in sacred Scripture." The statement of the revisers of the English Bible in their preface is more precise. They say: "It is well known that 'its' does not occur in the Bible of 1611, and it does not appear to have been introduced into any edi tion before 1G60. But it is found 10 times in Shakespeare, and there is other evidence to show that at the time of the authorized version it was coming into use." Now, 11 our .North Carolina minis ter and other readers of the author ized version of the Bible will turn to Leviticus xxv, 5, they will find the following: "That which groweth of its own accord of thy harvest thou shalt not reap." The word "its" is therefore found in the current version of our English Bible, notwithstanding the state ment of Worcester, Webster and other authorities to the contrary. Moreover, the word appears in vari ous editions, as those of tho Ameri can Bible society, tho Oxford and Cambridge Press issues, the Collins Bibles. Eyre and Siottiswoode's, Bagstf ' and all tho editions of fam ily ai.J pulpit Bibles consulted for this purpose. Sunday School World. Do Water Wheels Bon Faster at Might? For years the question whether water wheels run faster at nicrht than during the day has been cata logued among the things which no man can find out. They do if they are so geared as to be affected by the varying fullness and speed of the current m which they are set. There is no doubt that all streams are fuller and all streams carry more water at midnight than tney do at noon. In the first place. the increased coolness of the air pre vents evaporation and subsequent Drying up of the smaller tributaries, and, in the second place, the condensa tion of the moisture in the air in the shape of dew is always sufficient to add something to large streams and their branches. Heavy dews are often so copious as to be almost equal to a small shower of rain. We often hear dewdrops falling from the overloaded leaves and find all exposed objects as wet as if they had undegone a shower during the night. A large portion of this moisture must get into the mi nute channels, which of course con duct it to mill streams. "Often," says Humboldt, "the ef fect upon a shallow stream is very noticeable indeed." If it is at all "noticeable," a wheel turned by such a stream would "go faster by night than by day. Indianapolis News. The Feast of St. Ruroara. The feast of St Barbara, like that of St Martin, is a soldiers' fete in Italy. The heroic girl, if we may believe an old story of the tenth cen tury, was an angel of beauty and vir tue, born in a fortress where her father, Dioscoro, was the governor and alsoaid-de-camp to tho emperor, Maximilian. St. Barbara first saw the light in Italy in her father's beau tiful villa near Scandrisrlia, a (rift from the emperor to his general, rich with mineral waters, marvelous plants, statues, etc., where sho passed tne nrst few years of her life, and where she became a convert to the Christian religion. lne beautiful girl was hunted to death, taken prisoner, her breasts were cut off, and she was exposed to brutal soldiers, who took possession of her, fastened her to a stake, covered her with quicklime and burned her to death, and this she suffered rather than renounce the religion she had embraced. This, at least, is the le end, and tho artillery and the engi neer regiments iete ner as tneir pa tron, to wtiom tney snow much re spect and gratitude, especially as they have half the day free and dou ble pay. London Society. FARMER BROWN'S CONCLUSION. Well, the first I heard about em Was through some boarders we had. That talked about microbes anil Mich tliinip liu 1 own 1 was fairly scared. tv ve uvea on me iarm lor unrty odd year Ana been mlddlm healthy, tot.; We've raised eight good, smart children Which's as well as most of folks do. But last summer we took some professors. And they made my blood run cold. For ghosts and goblins warn't nowhere Compared to the yarns they told About microbes that swim in the water And fly on wings through the nir. That have feet to walk about with " And con stick to your skin and hair. They peeked over the edge of the well curb To see if the bucket was clean. And analyzed the pertaters To find the paris green That I put on the tops in early spring. Afore the pertaters was growed; Then how they thought it could git inside Was more than ever I knowed. They wanted our tomcat kept to home. Because one of Vm'd heard of a caso Where a cat brought home a disease in its fur. Though there warn't one to ketch In the place. They went up into the paster. To see if the cows eat weeds. For if they did the milk we used Would be full of colic seeds. They peeked in the suller and aired the barn. 'inougn 1 aiiurs took pains to keep clean And sprinkled cleansin powders around That smelt wns'n any old dreen. They hunted 'em faithful all summer. Till I kind of pitied the things And thought 'to myself the Almighty was wise When on some of the kinds he put wings. Well, after they'd gone away in the fall Matilda she says to me, "Tho best thins we can do, Caleb, Is to let tho whole thing be." 60 we come to this conclusion. No matter what microbes might bring, A little bit of learning Isa mighty dangerous thing. Yankee Blade. OUR SPECIHL SHLE SATURDAY, DEC. 2d, M Rubbers, Rubber Boots, Arctics, Snow Excluders, 25 Per Cent Discount. Keep Your Feet Dry. Offensive and Exasperating Expressions. In our own opinion tho use of 'common form" jocularities is most offensive in those who think of them as wit, though most painful in per sons who use them unconsciously and as mere methods of expressing their meaning. We feel that those who try to force a laugh out of such ex pressions as my downy couch" or committing matrimony, who squirm into a smile as they ask if "there isn't room for a little one," or whospeak'of "japanning their trot ter cases," might fairly be shot at eight When some xcellent mother of a large and heavily facetious family catcnes up ana uses almost uncon sciously such phrases as "getting outside a square meal, ' "the clork of the weather," "she's no chicken," or "put on your warpaint," and when even the father mechanically talks of "performing his ablutions," the sense of pathos overcomes all others. London Spectator. ALL GOODS MARKED IN PLAIN FIGURES PEASE & MAYS JUST ARRIVED FROM NEW YORK ! Bow the Sultan's Food Is Prepared. The food for the sultan of Turkey is cooked by one man and his assist ants, and no others touch it. It is cooked in silver vessels, and, when done, each kettle is sealed by a slip of paper and a stamp, and this is broken in the presence of the sultan by the high chamberlain, who takes one spoonful from each separate ket tle before the sultan tastes it This is to guard against poison. The sultan never uses a plate. He rarely uses a knife or fork a spoon, his bread, a pancake or fingers are far handier. It requires just twice as many slaves as there are courses to serve a dinner to him. Woman's World. Letters Advertised. The following is tho list of letters re maining in The Dalles postoffice uncalled for Saturday, Dec. 2, 1893. Persons call ing for these letters will pleaso give the date on which they were advertised: Costello, Martin Cone, Adoph Donaldson, D F C Felhn, W L Engarsall, Mrs Mary Fountain, Henry W Inzersall, D W Ramus, Thomas Walker, Mrs Elmer Matthews, Mrs Queen Smith, Mrs Neuton Walters, Mrs Emel M. T. Nolan, P. M. Co', dark. U. 8. Army, writes: For the laat two years, my health baa been excellent; this, I think, Is doe to my using of Sulphur Bitters, as formerly my health was mis erable, owing to those frequent changes of climate, etc., o incident to a soldier's lite. "Wanted To But. Any person having an organ on sale can fad a pnrcbaser by applying at this office Railroad English. Slang expressions generally origi nate with the railroad men, and a person not versed in slang might listen to a crowd of railroad men talking for an hour without getting the slightest impression of their meaning:. Consequently, wnen an Atchison girl received the following letter from her Apollo, a brakeman, she was somewhat puzzled: "My dear, I pushed the con's face yester day, and he told the supe, who put me on the carpet and finally put the can to me. I will have to lay over on the hill for 10 days and will be down to see you soon." Atchison Globe. Tne Advantages of Dead Peers. The emperor of China has ennobled the ancestors of Sir Halliday Macart ney for three generations. I con gratulate these posthumous noble men, wherever their disembodied spirits may be. Honor will no doubt be most gratifying to them. The Chinese are more sensible than we are. It is far more reasonable to convert dead men who can do no harm into noblemen than to make unborn descendants of living men into legislators, in which capacity they mav do much harm. London Truth. The Bemains of Pets as Ornaments. A London lady of high degree wears set in the jewels of her brace let a tooth extracted from the mouth of her pet poodle. Another affec tionate creature uses the skin of a once favorite horse as a hearth rug for her boudoir and has a defunct pet pug mounted in a lifelike attitude by the taxidermist for an ornament on her writing table. Exchange. An Enduring Publication. An eminent artist, known for his plain speaking, remonstrating with Oscar Wilde on his undue admiration of his own play, "Lady Winder mere's Fan," remarked: "I much doubt whether such a work could live after the present season. Now, the 'School For Scandal' has lasted 100 years and is as popular to-day as ever it was." "Ah!" murmured Os car, "but so is 'isradshaw's uuide.'" San Francisco Argonaut Masculine Management. Little Dick Go ask mamma if we can have these crusts she was goin to throw away. Little Dot I don t want crusts. Little Dick Neither do L but if we ask her for 'em she'll give us a big piece of ginger cake. Good News. Good resolutions are a pleasant crop to sow. The seed springs up so readily, and the blossoms open so soon with such a brave show, espe cially at first But when the time of flowers has passed, what as to the fruit? Malet It is claimed that the best handles of small tools are made from the wood of the apple tree, which is very hard when dry and possesses a fine grain. Moreover, it is said, it does not crack easily after it has been dressed. Fishes swallow their food hastily and without mastication because they are obliged unceasingly to open and close the jaws for the purpose of respiration and cannot long retain food in the mouth when quite shut Of the entire human race 500,000,- 000 are well clothed, 250,000,000 go habitually naked and 700,000,000 only cover the middle parts of the body. The modern Italian wine jars, hold ing about 20 quarts, are almost iden tical in shape and size with the ana phoras found in Pompeii Lord Tennyson as a Carpet Cleaner. Tennyson appeared once in the new character of carpet cleaner. Calling on some mends and rinding them absent he wrote them a polite note, but had the misfortune to overturn the ink bottle upon the beautiful white Persian carpet. Frantic, he appealed for help to the servant. She, suddenly recollecting that new milk will remove ink when wet, seized a can of the creamy liquid which hap pened to have been just left by the milkman. She upset the can on the large black pool and set about rub bing and scrubbing the stain. Down went Tennyson on his hands and knees, rubbing and scrubbing also, in an agony of suspense lest his mends should return, which he after ward said "reached the infinite." Every trace of ink was removed, and the servant was rewarded with a 5-shUling piece and the poet's "God bless you!" London Tit-Bits. Tbe Funny Bone. A most unpleasant sensation is caused by the violent excitation of the ulnar nerve due to a blow on the elbow. This nerve passes down on the inner side of the arm, and then rather inconsiderately bends round and enters the forearm at the back of the elbow joint. Any one who has felt his neighbor's elbow sticking into his ribs knows that the elbow is re markably deficient in flesh. The nerve is therefore at this point very near the surface and has little to shield it from a blow. If we are so unfortunate as to give our elbow a smart tap, we obtain a practical con firmation of the fact that the ulnar nerve is the principal sensory nerve of the forearm and hand. Toronto Mail. Odd Comment, One who gives public or private recitations is certain to hear remark able comments on his work. Most people wish for something emotional and dramatic, where the color is laid on with . a heavy brush and senti ment is rampant. "I like to be curdled," said a great lady to me one day. "I like that piece about a child being run over by a train. Oh, isn't it run over? Well, you think it's going to be run over, and that s nearly as good." Another lady once asked, with a gracious and sunny smile, Don t you recite anything about a good murder?" Clifford Harrison in Stray Records." Questions About Change. Did you ever start out with more errands than you had time to do, grudging every moment of delay, and find yourself without your purse when the conductor called for your fare? Did you ever see a conductor hold the pennies that some other passenger gave in change till you passed up vour coin and then work them off orffou? Did you ever think that you'd lost your purse and make trantic nixie dashes into anyplace that could hold it and presently find it where it be longed ? Did you ever take perforated dimes and quarters in exchange for good coin? Still worse, did you ever hand up a coin in good faith and see the salesman ring it on the counter and say "N. G. " Boston Common wealth. How A. T. Stewart's Body Is Guarded. The body of the late American millionaire, Alexander T. Stewart, was once stolen from the bt MarK s church graveyard in New York, and the robbers demanded a ransom for its restoration. The amount having been agreed upon and the body re covered it was deposited in a splen did crypt in the cathedral at Garden City, and in order to prevent any ru ture body snatching the coffin is now in direct electric communication with the cathedral bells, which would sound an instant alarm if it were be ing tampered with. Exchange. A Latter Day Marriage. Downton So you are really going to be married? UDton Yes. it's all fixed. We've rented a furnished flat, and I've hired dress suit for the occasion, and Marie has borrowed her cousin 8 weddintr risr. and a new caterer has agreed to lend us his plaster of paris show cake, provided I mention ma name in the papers. new xora Weekly. Pure Flour and Bran. Those who mistake the flour of dirt for a natural characteristic of flour are not likely to be safe eruides in anything relating to flour. Unrefined Bugar is noted for its "flavor," but the flavor is merely the dirt or extra neous matter in the sugar. So it is with unrefined flour. The stalk of the wheat is quite as digestible as the bran and is quite similar m com position. The bran faddists ought to insist on smashing bran, awns and stems all at once into meal Then they would have a meal in which nothing is wasted except the con sumer. Tbe consumer should be guided by experience. If bran agrees with him, he is right in eating it. If it disagrees with him, he is right in refusing to eat it The inoralizers who are trying to make out that the millers are domg a great wrong in making pure flour have everything against them nowadays. Milling World. Whither the Winds Bore Him. It is said of an old time Maine preacher, Father Blaisdell, who was the pioneer missionary along the Maine coast, that he would launch his boat and sail before the wind, and where the wind took him he would land and preach. At one time, so the story goes, the wind bore hini di rectly toward Islesboro. Just be fore getting there, however, the wind shifted, and although he was within a few rods of the land he turned his boat and with the wind sailed off to another town, where he landed, held meetings and started one of the greatest revivals ever held under his ministry. Rockland (Me.) Courier Gazette. ' Pino Troes on Volcanoes. Every one who admires trees must be interested m the result of Profess or Heilprin's studies of the pines that clothe the slopes of the great vol canic mountains of Mexico. These huge peaks seem to have pierced their way upward through a mantle of pine forest which clings to their sides up to a height of nearly 3J miles. The vertical range of the pine in Mexico is remarkable. It is found among the sun loving palm trees at the foot of the mountains, and it stands defiant of the cold close to the perpetual snows that cover their summits. Youth's Companion. Colombian Stamps For Etiquette. An elderly lady in a modest man ner ieanea over tne counter 01 a west end drug store, and pointing to a letter with a Columbian stamp asked: "Will you please tell me if these stamps are good for just common use?" When assured that they were so intended, she bowed politely and remarked as she left: "Ididn t know. 1 tnougnt tney were to De used per haps tor etiquette." "I have to answer that same ques tion 10 times a day," said the clerk, "but I wonder what she meant by etiquette." Baltimore Sun. LOOK AT THE SIZE of the or- dinarv pill. Think of all the trouble and dis turbance that it causos yon. Wouldn't you welcome some thins easier to take, and ei in its ways, if at the same time it did von more good f That is tne case with Ur. .nerce's Pleasant Pellets. They're the smallest in size, the mildost in action, but the most thorough and far-reachinr in results. They follow nature's metnexis, ana tney give neip that Zf sis. Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, Sick and Bilious Headaches, and all derangements of tho liver, stomach and bowels are promptly relieved and permanently cured. V SPLENDID ASSORTMENT OF 5 Jackets, FROM $3.50jUP WARDS ClothiDg and Farnlshirj At Remarkably Low Prices. Sphriid Chincblk Cverceats a. $5..0 FULL ASSORTMENT OF WINTER DRY GOODS. Boots. Shoes, hats, etc. A3 we are forced to SELL FOR CASH in order to nvoid lawsuits (like the famous . S. Collins and wife's suit) and bad debts, our prL-oa will always be fouad thi vury lovo-s in the market. We invite onr friends and cuiloniorj to examine the earns b. fore pu runn ing elsewhere. " If we can't cure vour Catarrh, no matter bow bad your case or of how long standing, we'll pay yon ?500 In cash." That is what is promised by tho proprietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrn Kemeay. lesii't is provo, rjetter than any words could, that thin is a remedy unit cures cauirrn 1 iosta qwj ou cbuib. H. Herbring GOOD Food Digestion- -Complexion - are all intimately connected practically inseparable. inouiin inc iacc is oucu ignored, it is nevertheless true that a good coraplex- . ? -i ..1. ion is an impossiuimy wun out good digestion, which in turn depends on good food. There is no more common c 2! cause of Indigestion than rnTTT lard. Let the bright house keeper use COTTOLEfJE The New Vegetable Shortening and substitute for lard, and 2 her cheeks, with those of her family, will be far more likely to be " Like a rose in the snow." CoTTOLENE Is clean, deli- s cate, healthful and popu- " lar. Try it for yourself. 'Send three centl In stampt to K. ! K. Fairbank & Co..Chicaeo. tor handsome Cottolene Cook Book, containinz m hundred recipes. 5 prepared by nine eminent author- . mcs on cooking. flade only by N. K. Fairbank & Co., ST. LOUIS and CHICAGO, NEW YORK, BOSTON. Do Ton Enow That We carry a full line of Stoves and Ranges, Building Hardware, Tinware, Graniteware. Fishing Tackle, Guns, Ammunition, Pumpg, IronNPipe, etc. We are sole agents for the 11 Garland Stoves and Banges The World's Best banitary Plumbing, Tin ning and Metal Roofing a Specialty. Groceries, Provisions I Cordwood. . All orders promptly attended to. MAIER & BENTON. The Dalles. THERE IS NO COFFIN TRUST. A Good Witness. She Do you really and truly lore me? He With all my soul, my dear; but why do you ask? She Because I know mamma is listening. Exchange. An Invention Suggested. - The Listener wants some one to in vent and construct a vehicle which shall have wheels and also a sat of runners, and be furnished with a lever so placed and geared that when the vehicle is moving over good solid snow it will go on the runners, but when a thin or bare spot 13 reached, the lever may be operated and the runners drawn up, and then the ve- icle will go on wheels. Boston Transcript. Management of the Spoon. Use the spoon only to stir tea or coffee; never use it to sip or drink with. As soon as tbe liquid is stirred place the spoon in the saucer and leave it there during the remainder of the meaL If a second cup is de sired, pass the cup with the spoon in the saucer, not in the cup. Do not drink from the cup with the spoon in it Housekeeper. Children Cry for PlTOHKB'S Castoria " Castoria Is to well adapted to children that I recommend it as superior to any prescription Known to me.- xi. a. abobib, jn. u 111 South Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. Y I use Castoria in my practice, and find it tpeoauy aoapteo. lOAuecnona 01 ennaren." iSbcz. Robkbtsov, M. D 1057 d Are., New York. "From personal knowledge I can Bar that 1 testoria Is a most excellent medicine for chil. Iren." Us. U. U. Osoood, " Lowell, Mass. Castoria promotes Digestion, and overcomes Flatulency, Constipation, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, and Feverishness. Thus the child is rendered healthy and its sleep natural. Castoria contains no Jlorphine or other narcotic property. I WILL FURNISH ANYTHING NEEDED KROM AN UNDERTAKER tl eheip as cm bo procorM from ny one that does not belong to the Association, and I bars Dottc daes of roods. Having taken the necersarv eonn-e of instruction in embaimiDir. I am prepared to attend to aienrUilog pettaioing- to the business. CAN BE CALLED, DAY OR NIGHT. PLACE OF BUSINESS Corner of Third and Washington atresia RESIDENCE Corner of Fourth and Washington streets. All orcers promptly attended to. PICTUBES FRAMED TO ORDER, AND AT SHORT NOTICE. If. WML Undertaker and Embalmer. The One Price Cash House, COR. SECOND AND COURT STS., J. P. McIIOlKNT -UJEA-Ll:!!, IN- Familiar Faces in k Place. C K. BAYARD, Late Special Agent Gen'l Land Office. J. E. BARNETT Doesn't Uke Doctors. "I don't like our doctor," said Wil lie. "I went and caught a cold bad enough to keep me home from school for two weeks, and the mean old doc tor cured me in lesa'n two days." Cincinnati Enquirer. An Enthusiast Indeed. Mrs. Trulove What on earth ever induced you to engage yourself to Count Lackpenny? Miss Brickybrac Why, my dear, don't you know that he will inherit a service of renaissance plate! How it will improve my collection ! Jew elers' Weekly. REAL ESTATE, LOAN, Znsurancs an. Collection ::sj. NOTARY PUBLIC. Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods Hats and Caps, Boots and Shoes, &c. Agent for tbe Batteries. Patterns; also for tbe Hall Bazaar Dress Forms. COLUMBIA PACKING COMPANY Corner Third and Washington Streets. Cored Hams, Bacon, Dried Beef and Tongues, And the best Beefsteaks, Mutton Chops and Veal Oatlets in the market. Orders DelivarecTto Any Part of the Citv. Fresh VeetaWeeJon sale at the Lowest Prices. ffiISS HNNH PET6R & COWPHNY, Parties having property thev wish to sell or tn houses 10 rent, or abstract of title furnished, find it to their advantage to call upon us. We shall make a specially of the prosecution of claims and contests before the United States Land Office. - Juij-25 88 Washington St., THE DALLES, OR. 1 1 1 s Second St., Hip HJILLIIY, THE DALLES, Oil