The Dalles times-mountaineer. (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, December 28, 1889, Image 1

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    IIOUSTAIXBEK, Volume XXX
TlIlE-aiOUTAIXEKIt, - VIII
THE DALLES, OREGON, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1889.
CONSOLIDATED 1SS2.
NUMBER 20.-
PBINTED EVERY SATUKDAY
BY
John Michell, Editor and Proprietor
TERMS OF SU3SCKIPTIOX,
Single copy, one year
bingle copy si months
47-Tenns strlctlv in advance
,.2.0
.. 1.00
iv ,A at the PostoMee at The Daiiet. Or., as Second
Ulant iTattrr or traiumuuion through tlte mailt.
LIST OF STATE AND COUNTY OFFICIALS.
Governor S.Pennover
Secretary of Stole ,"";.?.n?
Trun.r Ceo. W. Webb
Superintendent of Public Instruction. .E. P.JIcElroy
j J. N. Polpn
Senators
Mitchell
Congressman
State rrinter '
rnriTT.
B. Hermann
Frank Baker
Sheriff '?eHerbcrt
- Clerk...
..U
H.Tbomuson
Treasurer
Commissioners
Assessor
8urveyor
Superintendent of Public School
Coroner
....Geo. Kuch
I George A. Young
1 U. A. Leavens
11. Gourlay
E. F. Sharp
... A. C. Connelly
..William Micheu,
Professional C rds.
D
R. J. G. BOYD.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
a he Dalles, Oregon,
Office Rooms 5 and 6. over Moody & McLftod's
store, corner 2d and Washington Su.
Residence North side Fourth St., near Lincoln.
Calls in city or coantry answered at ail hours.
J. B. CONDO. . COSDCS.
QONDON A CONDON,
Attorneys at Law.
Office On Court street, opposite the Old Court
House, The Dalles, Or.
E. THOMPSON,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
Omen Next door to U. 8. Land Office.
Will practice in all Courts, aud in the U. S. Land
Office. Collections promptly attended to.
D
SiODAJLL D. D. S.
Nitrous Oxide or
Laughing Cas Given
For Painless extraction of Teeth. Rooms, sign of
the Golden Tooth, Second Street.
DB
H. LOGAN.
Office:
Rooms 2 and 3 in Land Office Building.
Q C. H0LL1STER,
Physician nil Snrgon,
Rooms over Dalles National Bank. -Office
hours 10 A.M. to 1! M.. and from 2 to 4 P.M.
Residence West end of Third street.
o
D. DOANE, M. D.,
Pbysician and Surgeon,
Thrt TVilltw Ornsron
Omc Over French & Co.'s Bank.
Rksidsscs Over McFarland French's.
II. "
WATERS, M. D.,
irnmpnTinfhic Physician and Surgeon.
Gra-iuate of the Huhneman Medical College of
Philadelphia. '.
Office in Max Vogt ft Co. s block, npstairs.
J-JR. S. B. WALTER.
Physician and Surgeon.
Diseases of Children a Fpeciality. Erskinsville
Sherman Co., Oregon.
r r mats
S UTJMT158TOK
M
AYS ft HUNTINGTON,
Attorneys at Law,
Office In French's Building, Second St, between
Washington and Federal.
B.
Room S,
auSdaw
.. over Postoffice, The Dalles.
J.
E. AT WATER,
Dalies, Oregen,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, THE
apr 16-wtf
s. b. nuroR. oo. watkixs.
J-JUFUR ft W ATKINS,
Attorneys-at-law.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
Rooms over Moody ft McLeod's store, next door to
Fishft Bardon's, Washington St.
ENNETT ft WILSON,
Attorneys at Law,
Office in Schanno's building, np-stairs.
The Dalles ... Oregon.
J. L. STORT.
W. L. BKADSBAV.
s
TORY ft BRADSHAW,
Attorneys at Law.
The Dalles, Oregon.
J.
G. KOONTZ,
Real Estate,
Insurance and
Loan A lien t.
Agents for the Scottish Union and National In
surance company of Edinburgh, Scotland, Capital
80,000,000.
Valuable Farms near the City to sell on easy
term. .
Omce over Post Office, The Dalle?, Or.
McCOY ft MoCOY, BARBERS, Second Street,
next door to MacEarchern ft MacLeod's. The
cleanest shave, the nobbies hair-cut and most health
fui baths. xpSdftw
GEO. ANDERSON,
DaALU
ALL KINDS OF GUHS,
Itevolvens, AmntonlUon.
Fishing Tackle, Pocket Cutldry, Razors, etc, etc.
Repairing and New Work done to Order.
8ocond Street TIE DALLES OREGON
Ladies, Attention!
A. Stw Invention for Iress Cntttinc-
j Self-Instructor
That can be used by a man or woman, and which
gives a perfect fit. Price of scale, including
a key of full instructions, S3 SO.
Can be bad by calling on or addressing
au3-S9 MRS. C. L. PHILLIPS The Dalles, Or,
OKEGON-:- BAKERY,
c A. KELLER, Prop'r,
Washington street, next door l-elow Geo. Rnch's.
Dalles, Oregon.
Having the Bakery formerly owned by Geo. Rnch,
I am prepared to furnish families, hotels and res
taurants with the choicest Bread. Cakes aud Pica.
CharleS F. Lauer,
Proprietor of the
Third St. Foultry and Hsh Market,
Will always keep on aale
Puget Sound Fisb,
Chickens, Turkeys,
Alto, Provisions, Cindlea, Tobacco
aiiJ Ciirara.
Leav rour orders, aa they will receivs prompt
ttenti n.
MT. HOOD SAMPLE ROOMS.
Best Kentucky Whisly from Louisville.
Y-ry Best Key West Cigars,
Cest of Wines.
English Porter, Ale and Milwaukee
- Beer always on hand.
MAETZ ft PUNDT.
aprM If
THE DALLES,
2IK
Miscellaneous.
WANTED!
ily old friends and the public, one and all to come
anu see me in ine
ON
RAILROAD
UNION AND
STS,
Where one can get all the comforts of Home. My
rooms are furnished with spring Hens, and the
Tables second to none in the city. Price same as
before. Meals 25 cents; Lodging 25 cents.
T- T. NICKOLAS. .Prop'r,
NEPTUNE
110 Front Street,
THE DALLES, - - OREGON.
CHAS. PRAZER, PRO? R
t3" None bat the most skillful artists em
ployed.
Hot and Cold and Shower Baths for the comfoit of
patrons.
At the old stand of R. Lusher.
R. E. Saltmarshe
-AT THE -
East M
WILL, PAT THE
EidiestCasli Price for
Hay and Grain.
DEALER IN LIVE STOCK.
L. BORDEN & CO.,
DEALKliS 131
LAMPS CiiA'.'DEL'ERS AKD FIXTURES
gers Eros'. Plated ware,
IZIi Pocset Cutlery,
J. Eusseil & Go's Table Cutlery,
Keen Kutter Shears and Scissors,
ggTEvery One Warranted..
CIGAES AND TOBACCO"
SMOKERS' ARTICLES,
Fancy Goods and Notions,
Iron Wheel Wagons: Bicycles; Bird Casres; Agents for
the New Home, White and Royal bt.John Sew
ing Machines, Jseedlcs and Attachments
for ever' Machine. Picture Frames
in stock or made to order.
Trees! Trees! Trees!
FRUIT TREES !
Ornamental Trees,
Shade Trees and
Timber Culture Trees
Ornamental Shrubbery.
Roses! ' Koses!
Greenhouse Plants.
We hire on liand at this date a few hundred Italian
and Petite Prunes, which we offer at reasonable
prices by the hundred.
- THE CELEBRATED NEW PLUM.
Hvf 23 1 -a- JML -A.,
We offer 25 cents.each.
Don't be hombngged by paving SI for them, for we
warrant ours to be jrenuine MAUIAHA.
Also, CABBAGE and TOMATO PLANTS in large
supply. Send for Catalogue and prices.
Address,
THE JEWETT NURSERIES
, lose White Salmon, XV. T.
O. DE. Bayard,
EealEstateJnsurance
Collection Agency.
Third St., In Opera House Block.
Agent for the
Northwest Fire and Marine InsuranccCo.,
Best Home Company on the Coast.
Also Agent for
Aetna Life and Pacific Surety, Accident
Insurance Companies.
Having been appointed correspondent for he
Lombard Investment Co.
I mm prepared to make Loans on (rood Bea Estate
Security iu Wasco and Gilliam Counties, also in
Washington Territory. If you
WANT MONEY
Call on or address C. E. BAYARD,
The Dalles. 0m.
Notary Public and Commissioner of Deeds for Wash
turton Territory.
FOE ICE CREAM
AND
ICE GOLD SODA WATER,
-GO TO-
104 Second Street.
Cram & Corson, Props.
MacEaeiern & Macleoi
Have Just Received a
LARGE HTOCK
OP-
ii
6)
FURNISHING GOODS,
HHTS, SH06S, 6TC-
Direct From Manufacturers.
ggTCall and see them at
12 Second Street .Jga
J FAGAN
MERCHANT
TAILOR
Saltings of all kinds, imported and Jomestie on
hand.
FIT WARRANTED.
None but the host of labor employed and tatic
ction fiiiaranieod
8W COIUinDia HQI61
n l n i
uanay r aciory
23an3rs.
Tie Dalles National Bank.
OF DALLES CITY, OR.
President,
Cashier,
7 V
.11. I JUUUUjj
...M. A. Moody
General Banking Easiness Transacted.
Sikt Exchanges soklon
NEW YORK,
SAN FRANCISCO,
PORTLAND, OR.
gT Collections made on favorabl rnis at all a
ssihle no ints.
Prencli& Co., Bankers,
THE DALLES. OREGON.
Transact a General BanMng Bnsine
Collections Made at all Points
on Favorable Terms.
Letters er Credit issued, available in
all parts of the fnitefi States.
aSTSurht Exchange and Teleciaphie Transfers sold
On New York, Chicago, t. Louis, San FranchKO,
Portland, Seattle and Walla W alla, W. T., and va
rious points in Oiejron and Washington Territory.
. P. THOMPSON',
President.
J. S.SCHEKCK,
Vice-Presiaent
H. M. BEALL, Cashier,
FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
OF THEDALIiEH
(Successor to)
SCIIENK & BEALL, BANKERS,
TRANSACTS A USGULAR BANKING BUS1NI3S,
BUV AND SELL .EXCHANGE.
COLLECTIONS CA REFTJLLY MADE AND
PKOJIPTLY ACCOUNTED t'oK.
DRAW ON NEW YOltK, SAN FFAXCISCO AND
PUltTiiAJtU.
Directors s
! D P TiiojireoN, T W Sparks,
J S Scil:;N-Ci, UoROis A LiS,
Ii 31 ijllALL.
fh
file JLtCsx.Llxix
WATCHIBAKE
Aim
E8
. Next to 1st Nat. Bank.
Always on band the latest styles of jewelry,
clocks, watches, etc., at the lowest prices. If you
want something lasting and nandeonie, give Beck
tbe leweler a call. n)cnz
J. FREIMAN,
the ijjiynmt
IN THE!
Boot and - Shoe
SOLE AGENT FOR
LAIRD, SCHOBER & MITCHELL,
HANAN & SON,
EDWARD C. EURT. '
and the W. L. DOUGLASS Celebrated
$3.00 Shoe.
W.LUUULiLAb
fsm A I I
OTTOm
tT Golds sold Cheaper than ever.
Call and
Ziuiue tbe fiue stock on hand.
J, Freiman,
Bphanno'M Itrick. Mccond Ktreet
We Are Here
And to Stay
AT OUR
HEADQUABTEES
. With a Large Stock of
Staple Groceries,
Flour,. Bacon,
Hai, etc., etc.
-ALSO-
Tiniotliy, Wheat and Wild Hay
OATS, BARLEY,
Eran, Rolled Barley, etc.
OUR STOCK IS A 1 IN OUALITY AND
quantity, which we are pleased to offer you at
very low piyes for cash or country produce.
Call and see for yourselves, We mean what we say
and yon will not be sorry.
?
ROOKS (K BEERS.
TELEGRAPHIC.
SEATTLE JIANTS SUDDEN 1ATII.
Tacoma. Dtc. 20. Jolin J. Eerns ;ein
nf Seattle, was discovered ilexd in his
rnnni lit the l'ife hotel late Jast n glit.
Ha had taken his shoes and Coat off. and
! arourentlv lain upon the bed. Apojuex
wm louud bv tr.o coroner w oc tue cause
f his deatli, lie was a gentleman o
scholorshiD and in srood circumstances.
Krionda from Seattle have taken charge
of the remains.
FIUE IN TACOMA.
Tiraiu. T)ac. 20. 1 A. M. The St
.TimM luitH!. a new three storv and base
ment structure at the corner of Kinti
street aud Yukima avenue, caught fire iu
some unknown wav on the trround floor
at 11. last cveuic', and was totally
destroyed, v.itu the two adjoining build
inns, one being the residence of Professor
Gaiilt. nrinciuat of thecitv school.
The insurance is f 10,000 on the hotel,
belonging to Mellenbrook. It js estima
ted that if35,000 of property has been con
sumed,
COKED TO DEATH BY A BULL.
Walla Walla, Doc. 19. Wesley
Fields, a pioneer, brother of Simon Flet
cher Fields, of this vicinity, was gored to
death by a bull yesterdav at his home in
Field's hollow, above Wailsburg. He
was chairman of the county commission
ers of Columbia cuuntv and highly re
spected.
A NASTY DAY IN NEW YORK.
New York, Doc. 20. New York was
enveloped in one of the most disagreeable
fogs to-day the city has seen iu many
rears. If was a veritable Scotch mist,
cold, clammy and suggestive of pneu
monia. During the day the city has been
in twilight haziness, and to-night the cn
tire absence ot electric lights, combined
with the dcascness of the fog, makes the
main thorouirbiures a diaagrceable spec
tacle, while the side streets are almost as
dark as pitch.
The impediaments offered to travel are
greater than has been observed before,
elevated trains running far behind time,
white tbe entrance to Brooklyn bridge
has been in a state of blockade all day.
While travel was at its hight on Brook
lyn bridge a bioken coupling caused a
collision near the Brooklyn terminus.
The conductor of the colliding train re
ceived severe injuries. The pasengers
brmir.e pacic stricken, and several ladies
tainted.
fighting wrrn STONES.
Kansas City, Dec. 20. At 10 this
morning word was received at the police
station that a general fight was in pro
gress at the corner of Fourteenth and
VVyoiniDg streets. A squad of police
men hastened there and found forty or
tii'ty men fighting with stones, clubs pnd
improvised weapons ot all kinds The
mob fled at sight of the cfiicers.
The lighting was caused by the refusal
of Contractor JIcNeely, la3ing the grade
of the Chicago, Kiiusas & Nebraska di
vision of the Rock Island road, to pay
his men this morning. Six men were
badly hurt. No arrests were made.
THE BECRET DIED WITH HIM. j
Helena, Mont., Dec. 20. The suicide
of J. C. McDonnell at the Grand Central
hotel yesterday recalls tbe Moore tragedy
of February, 1S86, details of which arc
still frcsb in the minds of the public.
The dead bodies of William Moore and
his wife were found in their house on the
Benton road, each riddled with bullets.
The tragedy was not witnessed, as far as
known, and tbe tbeorj at the time was
that the couple bad quarreled, appealed
to firearms aud killed each other, or that
possibly one killed the other aiid then
committed suicide. The mystery attend
ing their dtatb, however, was never
cleared np. Vr. and Mrs. Moore had
lived unhappily for some time prvioui
to the tragedy, and the woman's infidelity
to her husband was the sulgect ot com
mon talk.
The object of the fait hie s wife'a affec
tions was a school teacher at Dearborn,
whom many people thought knew more
of the tragedy than he cared to tell.
That teacher was J. C. McDonnell, the
man who suicided yesterday. So the last
actor In tbe most awful domestic tragedy
ever enacted in Montana has passed out
of the world, adding by his uuexplaihed
act of soif-destruction another mystery to
that already, connected with the Moore
tragedy.
THE IDAHO AFLOAT.
Victoria, Dec. 20. The steamship
Idaho, which was wrecked on Roscdulc
reef, was washed flora her posrtioq by
the gale of last night. She drifted up
the straits and was picked up by the
small tug Alert, which attempted to tow
her to this port. High winds and tide
prevented. 8Dd the Idaho drifted towards
Kacc rocks.
The Alert succeeded in keeping her off
the reef, and later steamed lor Victoria.
The tug Lome left this evening in search
of the Derelict,
justifiable homicide.
SroKANE Falls, Dec. 22 The jury in
the case of Mrs, lone Skeels who shot
and killed her husband, diaries W. Skeels.
in this city the first day of March, brought
in a verdict of acquittal after being out
forty-eight hours. Previous to btr mar
riage with Skeels, Mrs. Skeels was known
as -Broncho Liz." She met Skeels in the
Cccur d'Alene mines. Skeels at that time
had a wife and two children. He became
smitten with "Broncho Liz" and induced
her to dress in male attire and accompany
him to his father's farm where he intro
duced her to his family, jahe worked on
the place as a farm hand for several
months without her sex being discovered.
Skce'.s then sent her to Choteau, Mont.,
where ho" followed her. Subsequently he
secured a divorce fium bis wjle and mar
ried Broncho L'z" at Moscow, Idaho,
January 2, 1838. ' He ag-iiu sent her to
Montana, where she remained until Feb
ruary last, when she joined Skeels in this
city, where he was in business. He be
gan paying attentions to- other women,
and on the morning of March 1 his wife
learned he was in a building known as"Ac
tois' Fiat," where he had spent the night
with Frankie Howard, a variety actress.
Mrs. Skeels armed herself rith a pistol,
and proceeding to the building tutictd
her busband from tbe room by sending
word by a messenger boy that he was
wanted at his place of business. As soon
as he appeared in thtfball she fired -three
shots, all of which took effect. He died
tbe following day. Tbe trial lasted nine
days and excited great interest.
HORRIBLE BUTCHERY OF A WHOLE
fAMILY BY TUP FATHER.
Niles, O, Dec. 25; The comruuuity
was startled this evening by the discov
ery of one of tbe most wholesale aud
bloody butcheries that has ever occurred
in this section of the state. The victims,
five in number, are Charles Shelar, and
wife, and three children, and the crime
is supposed to have taken place at an
early hour this morning. When the in
human deed was discovered at 5 o'clock
this ercnipg, all five bodjes were stiff and
cold in death, wiih their throats cut from
ear to ear. Shelar and his wife were
lying together across the foot of the bed.
and the three children were on the floor
in different parts of tbe house. Shelar of
late drank heavily, and it is rumored that
be and his wife did not live hippily.
The theory advanced is, that Shelar, in a
fjt of madness, cut the throats of bis wife
and children and then bis own. Bhe'ar
purchased a razor 'on Saturday evening.
THE CALIFORNIA BAINS.
Colusa, Dec. 22. The river stands
twenty-five feet aoove low water mark
and is rising fast. It has been raining
steadily for twenty-four hours and still
continues. This afternoon there was no
prospect of clear weather. Nearly all the
larre landowners on Grand island have
suffered lo-,ss except A. 11. Iloie, otie of
the bend men in the reclamation com
pany. The gene: a! opinion is that his lands
will be flooded if the high winds now
blowing continue many more hours.
At Princeton, filteen miles above here,
the Sacramento river lacks only two feet
of being as high as at any previous
period.
A STEAMER ON A RANCH.
Sacramento, Dec. 22. While on the
way from San Francisco to this city last
night, the steamer Modoc got iuto a ter
rific current and was swept through the
broken levee of the Sacramento liver on
to the Payne ranch. The passengers were
badly scared and feared they wouid be
dashed to death against the buildings
and trees. The boat was unable to back
out. Finally a rope was made fast to a
tree and the pilot succeeded in turning
her around when she managed with dif
ficulty to reach the main channel again
THE WOUNDED SERENADERS.
Port Townsend, Dec. 20. Dr. Capron
returned from Lopiz island last nig'it,
where he had gone to attend tbe two
young men who were wounded by Phillips
wnen the men were serenading hua tue
night of ins marriage. Capron renorts
one of the men in a serious condition
while the other is in a fair way to re
covery. The feeling of the people on the
island is divided as to the guilt of Phil
lips. He will be brought here.
HEAVY LOSSES OF SHEEP.
Hed Bluff, Dec. 22. It rained in tor
rents last night and to-day a terrific wind
and rain storm prevailed, the worst of the
eason. The river is rising again and it
s rapidly nearing the sixtten-foot mark.
Stockmen claim to have sustained heavy
losses of sheep, aud if the rain rontinm-s
the loss will be equal to that of '77 and '78.
STILL RAINING HARD.
SrARY8vii.i.E, Dec. 22. There has been
heavy down fall of rain in this city
nee morning. It is still raining. The
vers are about at a standstill, but are
expected to rise during the night.
STRIKE 03? VICTORIA SEALING SAILORS.
Victoria, B. C, Dec. 23. The sailors
employed on sealing schooners are on a
strike. They want $30 per month and
23 cents for each seal caught. The own
ers refuse, saving they can get plenty of
men in ban Francisco for $25 per month,
aud will do so.
A NEW CHURCH.
The Methodist congregation took up a
collection yesterday toward bunding a
$00,000 church. Twentj-five thousand
dollars was the amount gathered in on
the plates.
DEATH OF HARVEY J. HUSTON.
Tacoma, Dec. 23. The death of nar
vey J. Huston took place last nignt,
every effort which mcdicar aid con'd sug
gest failing to counteract the etl'ec". cf a
date seed lodged in his bowels. This
evening tbe bar association ot Pierce
county adopted resolutions of appreci
ation, sympathy and condolence ior the
relatives and fiiendsof the unfortunate
attorney.
THE IDAHO PLUNDERED.
Victoria, Dec. 22. Captain L. Anger
stein, of the wrecked steamer Idaho,
complains that since be has been in this
port he has found the most avaricious set
of robbers it has ever been his misfortune
to run across. Instead of assisting him,'
he says his ship has been systematically
robbed by all concerned. His own pri
vate property, as well as blankets, silver
ware and all articles of a portable nature
belonging to the steamer, have been taken
by the people workiDg aboard of her
while she was stranded. The captain
feels highly indignaut at this sort of
treatment.
EDITOR WEST FOUND GUILTY.
Chicago, Dec. 23. '-Guilty, with pen
alty of five years in the state's prison
and patrncnt of $10C0 fine," was the
verdict returned to-'night in Judge Grin
nell's court against James J. West, ex
editor of the Chicago Timet. There was
little delay in reaching a verdict, only
two ballots being taken.
The crime of which West wa convicted
was the fraudulent over-issue of stock of
the Times company to the extent of 1250
shares, or equivalent to ovei $125,000 in
money.
BAKPALL's DAYS ARE NUMBERED
Washington, Dec.-23.-A prominent
Democrat and o!d personal political
friend ot Congressman llandail, referring
to the latter's ilmess, says: "I was iu
Mr. Kandail's room last week. I . was
amazed at tbe change which had come
over him. In my opinion he is living
simply by the force of bis will power.
He is dreadfully amaiiaitd, aud looks
Very haggard. lis voice is strong and
firm, and his mind is as clear as it ever
was, but it is plain enough to see that he
is a very sick man, a dangerously sick
man. He may live to take his seat in
the houne once more, hut J doubt it. A"
that the doctors can do now is to try and
patch up some of the frail links; but any
great exertion would cause these links to
snap, and that would Lc the end of him.
It would be criminal, in my opinion, if
the doctors shou'd allow him to try and
take his seat at thjs time. Mr. HaudaU's
day, I am afraid, is over.
DEEP SNOW IN THE SIERRAS.
Wells, Nev., Dec. 23. The heaviest
snow storm for fourteen years has been
raging lieie for the past twenty four
hours.
Sapramentq, IXc. gQ.-Thi8 morning
while a snow plow propelled by four ear
gines was operating at Emigrant Gap, on
the Central Pacific main line, and a gang
ot men were at work on the track, the
locomotives pounded warning whistles
and the men all left the track except one
Chinaman, who neglected to get far
enough away. When the plow came
along it threw a mass of snow against
him, completely burying him. When
lound he was dead.
EDITOR GRADY IS DEAD.
Atlanta, Ga , Dec. 23. Henry W.
Grady died pt ppeunioni at twenty miu
ptes before i o'clock this morning.
Messages ot condolence have been
pouring in all day from the uorth aud
south. F.K pres. dent C'evelaud tele
graphed Mis. Grady as follow:
Accept li e heartfelt sympathy of one
who loved your busband for what be was
and for all he has done for his people
and his country. Be a-sured that every
where throughout the land warm hearts
mourn with you iu j our deep bfHiction,
una dpplore 'the loss the nation Las sua?
tamed,
. Governor Iliil, of New York tele
graphed as follows:
Please convey to Mrs. Grady my deep
est sympathy in the loss of her husband.
He was a noble and bri liant man, for
whom I felt a warm fiieudahip and the
highest respect. Tne tot. re north wnl
join with tbe souh it) imiiemu'g the
death of ope whoso services in obliter
ation of sectional feeling have been so
distiuy ui.-hed and to pair. otic,
Among pther telegrams wene those from
Samuel J. landa'.l. JSmery Speer, Roswell
P.' Fiowcr, Patrick A. Codins and Clinton
B. Fisk. .
Nudden Death.
, Heart disease, is developed by modem
oiviliaation, and is increasing to an alarm
ing extent. Let him who suspects the ex
istence of this cause of au-hlen death take
Dr. Flint's Remedy, and let all persons
read bis treatise on Heart Disease, which
will be sent on application by Mack Drug
Co., N. Y.
Children Cry for
From Saturday Dai!).
Gently falls the snow.
The year is growing'Gld.
Mr. A. Frazer, of Dufur, is in the city.
A new sciiool house is being finished at
Ruius.
The west bound passenger train, as usua:,
was several hours late yesterday.
They are talking telephone in Sherman
couuty, from tjrant to the principal town.
A boy 17 years old has been appointed
referee iu tare 2 divorce cases at Dallas, Polk
county.
The iron pipe which supplies the sprink
ler burotea yesteruuy, aud the water was
shut tff.
Suow is reported twenty inches deep on
the summit between iiurns aail lrout creek,
Malheur county.
Sleighing did not last one day, and Mr
Chambers was forced to change his runners
tor wagou wheels.
And now comes the oldest inhabitant and
tells of ice being formed in March to the
depth of four feet.
The membership of the Toboggan club is
limited, aud there are only a tew vacancies.
A word to the wise, etc.
The excellent ate lights, which we now
have in operation, make the streets of the
city almost as light as day.
A new crosswalk has been put down on
Second street from The Dalles National
Bank to Snipes & Kinerslcy's drixs store.
The thermometer ranged a few days dur
ing the week at Canyon City pretty regu
arly at about IS above zero of. mornings,
and not a great deal higher in the midule
of the day.
XV. B. Ladue, of Salem, Oregon, has been
appomteu a cadet to Weso tutu' academy,
with Harold a. JL'islte, ot Salem, as alter
Date.
List evening The Dalles Terpsichorean
Urbanization ive a party at old armory
Hail. The devotees of the mazv dauco were
well represented.
The Baker City Reveille is now issuing
six-column daily bright and newsy. e
wish Bro. Abbott success iu his ellorts to
build up his eity and surrounding country.
A larae number of cattle are reported be
tween Squaw creek and the Deschutes in
Crook county which are iu very poor condi
tion, and many ot them will pensii unless
looked after.
The snow to-day has not been in as large
quantities as expected. The wind came out
ot the west, aud weather became mild aud
springlike, notwithstanding a covering of
two inches of snow on the grouud.
The ball for the Iwueiit of the-Tuinl Reg
iment is to pay the expeuses of furnishing
the new armorv. The members of tne mil
itia desire to f uruUii their new armory in
elegant style, aud they should be patiouizsu,
Can von Citv New: The Harney Press
says John Parker, whom many of ua hen
know, is a raving maniac, aud will be scut
to Salem. Parker aud liugh Smith took a
crazy man from llainey valley to the asy
lum a few vears aeo, ami the wardeu came
near locking Parker up then.
Biker Jhoeille: Br. T. N. Snow, the 0
R. & N. railway sareou, iiuonns us that J
W. Kitchiug. the lireniau injured ui the
recent wreck near Pleasant valley, has been
returned to his home in L:t Grande; tngi
neer T. Crouin was removed to the Walla
Walla hospital and Bui?ineer Jas. Watsou
is now in the St. Vincent hospital at Port
land.
Grant County A eics: l'or the informa
tion of all parties we will state that Canyon
City has no national bank, there was a
banking institution partly crganizsd last
manner and a building prepared . for the
bank, but the plans never matured, and the
cold frosts of autumn nipped iu the bud the
first national bank of Canyon City.
Grant County Kewa: Charles Miller,
whom we advertised as lost, surprised every
one here by marching into the poatotiice one
evening during the week, Nothing like ad
vertising. The searching party sent out
from Granite found Mr. Miller in his log
cahin preparing tor a trip below to look
after his coed properties.
Fossil Journal: There is a greater de
mand for desirable building lots in fossil
than ever before. We have the best loca-
tiou aud more natural advantages than any
town lrom Pendleton to the Cascades,
With development of the coal mines and
the bailding of biadch railroads in the near
fatu-e, we will have a Sue city here.
W. W. Union: A dispatch was received
last niht announcing the death by drown
ing of Harry Bcmis, of this city, at Port
land. It seems that he lett cere a couple
of weeks ago in company with Charley and
Harry A. I ettt, for the purpose ot going to
Spokane Falls to obtain work, since which
time he has not been heard from by his par
ents who live here.
Grant Co. ATe: Joseph Barker was com
mitted tq prison last week on n charge of
obliterating or changing brands on horses
on the range. Mr. lirker was convicted in
the justice court in W arm Spring precinct
and held under 5000 bends, which he failed
to give, and now saws wood for tbe county
along with the China pants thief. Besides
all his other afflictions aud misfortunes. Bar
ker is both deaf anil dumb, but would
monkey with brands that were not his own.
Rocky Bar Bulletin: For several weeks
the weather has been unsettled and at in
tervals slight snow storms have visited ns.
Monday and Tuesday the heavens let go in
earnest and by Tuesilay evening fully five
feet of the 'beautiful , on a level, was
piled np iu and aroun-J Rocky Br, and from
weather indications the end is not yet.
This amount of snow with a surety for fully
as much mere beforo spring time, insures
plenty of water for mining purposes ami
means millions of dollars worth of benefit
to the people generally of Idaho.
Port Townsend Leader: HiaiUamm. a
welbknown .Indian wiiq lived across the
harbor, was drowned Tuesday evening in
Scow bay. He was known as the "last of
the royal family,'' and was quite old. He
was a cousin of the Duke of York, and is
associated with the Duke in the minds of
the old settlers, for these two Indians were
friendly to the whites and often protected
them from the hostile Indians. Hiaikanim
took his cayoe Tuesday evening and went
aftei a load of w ood, and on his return the
canoe was swamped. The old Indian was
thrown out into the bay and drowned be
fore assistance reached him. Hs body was
found floating in the water.
Canyon City New U. S. Cooper, whom
it will be remembered drove some of D IK.
Jenkins' horae3 from Bear valley last sum
mer without the knowledge or consent of
Mr. Jenkins, is by this time far beyond the
reach of the sheriff, and still going. Sheriff
Gray was apprised nf the facs that fjjoper
had relatives lp Jackfou couuty, and sup
posing he would land up there with tne
Stolen animals, w rote the sheriff at Jackson
vil e to loe k out and arrest him if seen
there. It appears that the slier. ff was ab
sent, but the deputy, li. T. Armstrong,
through ignorance or some motive unknown,
told a friend of Cooper's relatives that there
was a warrant out for him; therefore Mr.
Jenkins is out of his horses and the thief is
out of jail.
La Grande Journal: When the wreck of
Thursday night occurred five ujiles west of
this city, 23 head of cattle were liberated
by the company's employes and turned
loose iu the mountain' where they are now
roaming. The man in charge of the stock
rtiuteo to have anything to do with them,
therefore is is to le presumed the railroad
company has a h: r'l of cattle to the number
mentioned, roaming at will over the hills
and dales. It is likely most uf the stock
will I rounded-Hp i settlers and it need
pot surprise an v hody if some of the num
ber should find tbeir way into lumber camps
where they will be served up to the hungry.
There is a question about ownership there,
fore it is supposed they are coijiajou prop
erty, The second of a scries of dances being
given by the Social club occurred last night.
The music was exceptionally fine u! all
seemed to have a very jolly time. Those
present were; Mr. and Mrs. W. II. Moody,
Mr. and . Mrs, W. E, Qarretson, Mr. and
Mrs. George Blakcley, Mr. and Mrs. Loch
bead, Mr. and Mrs. Cad well, Mr. and Mrs.
Bailey, Mr. aud Mrs. Phillips, Miss Walch,
Miss Wentz, Miss Bertha- Wentz, Miss
Grimes, Miss Ruch, Miss Kette Michel!,
Miss Lang. Miss Meyers, Miss Maie Wil
liam, Miss Swank, Miss Bennett, Miss
Lusher, Miss FitzGerald aud Messrs. Geo.
Pitcher's Castorla,
Bennett, T. Turner, Simmons, J. P.
FitzGerald, E. Williams, George Ham, H.
Blanchard, H. Maicr, Herbert Glazier, H.
Nuckols, John Hampshire, Martin Donnell,
M. A. Moody, W. Cram, Joe Woraley.
From 3!enc'uy'a Dal'y.
Two feet of snow has fallen at the Cas
cades. Mr. II. W. Wells, cf Deschutes, is in the
city.
Coasting and toboganning are the general
attractions.
Mr. C. McPherson, of Hay Creek, came
into the city to-day.
Some of our citizens indulged in sleighing
yesterday, but the amusement was not
lirst-class.
The public schools will have a holiday
lrom ChriKtmns until January C, 1SU0. th
Monday after New Year's.
The Salvation army are still "holding the
iort in JMiensuurgn. ine army has a good
neiu oi operations in that city.
There is no ice in the river, but if an east
wind blows the great artery of commerce
may be closed in a few hours.
The mild weather Saturday caused the
snow to mf.lt, and the freezing weather has
made the walks slippery and unsafe.
Localizer: We are informed that snow is
over a foot deep on the Wenatchee mount
ains and sledding across them is splendid.
The road is well broken.
A very severe storm was experienced be
yond the Deschutes last Saturday. The
wine! blew a hurricane, aud the snow fell in
biiuding quantities. After everything
quieted down, suow fell to the depth of sev
eral inches. I
We learn from a trustworthy source that
lien, r . A. Ale Donald will tender his resig
nation as register of the land otlice on Jan
uary 1, 1S90. He will engage in business in
Seattle, which will be his future residence,
jyir. mas. aowe, who was mentioned in
these columns as being injured at Hood
River Wednesday evening, has had his arm
amputated anil his skull was badly frac
tured. He is at present at St. V incent 8
hospital Portland.
The boiler at the engine house of the
electric liht works was chaugei yesterday
from wood-burning to coal-burning, and the
lurnace had to be changed for this purpose,
ror tnis reason, alter 10 o clock there were
no electric lights in the city, and the streets
wore a dark and sombre hue.
A white owl was caught by Master Harry
lirown, on tbe JJeschuiet, a few days ago,
He gave it to Mr. S. B. AJams, bnt in t
few days it died, and is now properly
mounted by a taxedcrmist, and is the pret
tiest bird we ever saw. borne of the ' old
eot inhabitants prophecy an extremely
harel winter by reason cf the visit of these
arctic birds; but all signs are iusiguilicaut
iu .cistern Oregon.
Pi inevillo Ileview: Some time since W
T. Casey appealed from the decision of tho
register of the U. S. land olKce at The
Dalles in rejscting his filings on a piece of
ana at 1'owell liuttes. listed to the H . V.
& C. M. Co., though the land was just out-
lde ot the six-mile limit. the commis
sioner of the general laud olHco has just ren
dered a decision in Mr. Casey s favor, al
lowing his filing. It is a valuable tract of
land aud is well worth contesting for.
Snow is piling up in the mountains to the
ueptli of two. and three feet,' which wi1! re
main on the ground until the sun melts it
o!f next spring, thus forming rc3eryoirs
that will feed the many little rivyifts which
ujw through the vuile-ys, and will lurnisli
water ior irrigating purposes the coming
season. V ithout plenty o: snow in the
mountains, water is always scarce the fol
lowing season, out the indications now are
that water will be plentiful next summer.
tieview.
Mr. Geo. Williams, administrator of the
estate of John Micheibach, deceased, has
gathered the children of tender years to
gether and will give them a genuine Christ
mas holiday. Lust-week ho went down to
Vanconver, where the orphans are attending
school and made arrangements for them to
be in the city during the holidays. He has
made every preparation for their enjoyment
and no doubt tiiey will have a pleasant
time. Mr. Williams has managed the af
fairs of this estate in a most commendable
manner, and has displayed oaro and judg
ment which could not have been excelled in
the management of his own affairs.
This is the way they do it down in Ari
zona when a misguided individual monkeys
with his royal nibs, the editor. The fol
lowing appeared in a recent number of tbe
Arizona Kicker: "Died In this citv Octo
ber 2S. 1SS!), Bte Shumaker, azed 54 year.',
S months and 14 days. Pete was the indi
vidual who attacked us on the 21st in front
of the postoliiue with a cavalry sabre, being
offended at an editorial criticising the policy
of the czar of Russia towards Turkey. . We
et daylight into bun in four places and we
paid bis doctor bill aud funeral expenses.
lie sleeps well; be is better off; death loves
shining mark. Eastern papers please
copy.
Tha Umatilia House is still the rendez
vous for everything of a newsy nature. If
there is a late arrival iu the city he will be
registered ou the daily record, and if one
desires to learn the news from any of tho
country towns he can, get it at this hotel.
llus is the center of new3 of every kind,
and an item-gatherer when othor sources,
fail generally can pick up something en
tertaining. If there are no events ot su in
dent importance to cnronicie, ine good-
natured Major Hand ley, always smiling and
genial, can tell bun something about editors
and judges in the old country, or Cob Sin
nott can relate one of his yarns about pio
neer days, in The Dalles, forty years ago.
For fully a quarter of a century the Uma
tilla House has been the attractiya center
for all desirous of information concerning
this region, and it has ulwrvys kept pace
with tbe progress ot the city, it is iair to
presume it will always retain its prestige.
d long years alter the present proprietors
e numbered with the silent nn-j-wity,
there will remain an attraction arouui the
old corner which will eclipse all innova
tions. Prom Tuesday's Daily.
A light fall of snow last night.
To-morrow will be Christmas.
There is very little snow on lower Fifteen
Mile.
Ellensbnrgh is agitating the subject of a
toboggan slide.
Diptheria is prevalent inEigle Valley,
near Baker City.
Sleiahitig is excellent in Eilensburgh, and
the cit zjiis are enjoying the fun,
The postoffice will he pcn to-morrow.
Qh,riatiiiij, from t to o'clock A. M. .
Snow is six. inches deep in the Klickitat
valley, and there is excellent sleighing.
Mr. Robert Bradley, one of the most suc-
cessiul farmers iu Wasco county, is in the
ity.
The schools in the county will generally
have vacations during the Christinas holi
day. Evergreen trees are a scarcity, and sev
eral were inquiring for them but could not
procure any.
Midnight mass will be celebrated at St.
Peter's Catholic church this evening. All
are invited to be present.
Mr. J. C. Egbert came in from Dufur last
night, aud reports the snow drifted in
places to the depth of three feet.
Mr. James Fulton and family, of U-s-
chutes, rai.uru.ed during the week from the
Jj g lijud country.
Property-owners sheuld clean their side
walks, and then stop the small boys from
using them for sliding purposes.
The people want to number the business
hou&es ot Ellensbnrgh. I he Ualles lias
been numbered for several years
The toboggan slida was the soene of great
gaiety last night. Young women and man,
kids and goslings were out in full force.
The eleotric lights shone with great bril
liancy last night, owing, we believe, to the
fact that the furnace is fed with cool in
stead of wood.
Baker City has several artesian wells.
and these were suuk from 150 to 160 feet
when a good flow was procured. Why not
try trie plan in The Dalles?
To-morrow being the anniversary of the
Christinas holiday, tbe compositors of the
Times Mocntainekr will take a holiday.
This is consistent w.th tiu high rules of
morality of all members of the art preserva
tive of all arts.
The "Ve 3 Co." Inst night at the armory
was one of the worst humbugs that hai ever
been nnpoied on The Dalles. The acting
was of the poorest kiud.
Mr. J. E. Hardy, the artist, has some
fine specimens of antique gothic scrip at the
Kickelsen corner, Third and Washington,
which is the finert painting we have seen
anywhere in the city.
Petei Steinper, a young man, a resident
of Portland, was drowned in Columbia
slongh last Sunday morning. In walking
off the deck of the lone he fell into tho
water and never rose to the surface again
Loeuueas ne nan in a nag on his person
were rescued, but he never appeared above
ine suriacc oi the water.
Elleushurgh is throwing North Yakima
in the shade. 1 he former has two week
lies and one daily, while the latter has onlv
two weeklies. Every person judges of the
prospects ot a town by tho patronage ex
teuded to the press, and where a paper is
uoi extensively patronized it is a sad com
mcutary on the city and its business men
W allow-a Chieftain: The weather of tho
past week has been decidedly winterish.
the thermometer having made an uucom
fortably close call on zero. Durintr one or
two days a disagreeable fog prevailed, but
the most of the time the atmosphere has
1 "V- . . . . , ' ,
vi.-iru i-icnr. xui quire iwo lucnes or suow
leu during the week, the moisture is given
at one-sixth of an inch, aud there has been
no wind.
Mr. C A. Van Houtcn. of the Bi'dwin
Sheep aud Land Co., is in tho city. He has
lately returned from a visit to Lako and
other couuties in Southern O.-eon. He re
ports the drouth last summer caused more
loss in that than in any other portion of the
state. In one instance, he says, a man put
SOO.OGO in the cattle business a year ago,
uud he says he will sell out now for 3000.
Polk county Itemizcr, 20th: One night
last week young Browu, clerk at the Nes
tucca cannery, concluded he would imitate
some of the bank cashiers who are now so
journing in Canada for their health. He
took from the safe SS00, and after procur
ing a horse and pistol, struck out for the
valley. He was pursued, and somehow his
followers passed him at Willamina, coming
on to Sheridan. When told that they were
after him his heart failed him and be struck
back for the canuery.
Astorian: three miles bacK of Westport
the suow was 8 inches deep, yesterday
morning, and four miles farther south the
snow was 15 inches deep. At Knappa, snow
was also reported. It won't last long, aud
hy this time has mostly disappeared.
When it first falls it presents a beautiful
appearance on the dark green boughs of the
spruce and fir, but to the traveler through
the mud, the beauty is lost sight of, in the
discouifoit it occasions.
Mr. Sparks, manager of the firm of A. M.
Williams & Co., in tnis city, has received a
letter from J. C. Gilbreth, of Latourelle
Fails, stating that his wife and child were
badly injured last Sunday by a tree falling
on bis house, lua wife was badly crippled,
her tkull and lower limb broken, auel two
ribs fractured. The injuries to the baby
were not known at the time the letter was
written. Mr. Gilbreth was well known in
this city, aud formerly drove a team iu The
Dalles.
Ellensburgh Iienister: On last Sabbath
morning Rev. J. W. Helm, brother of C. L
ana c.ugene Jtleim, mysteriously disap
peared, since which time hisfiiends have
learned no clue to bi3 whereabouts. His
intentions were to nil an appointment to
preach at the Sheltcn school housojm the
west side Sabbath morning, but he left his
lierse saddled in the barn of his brother.
His friends eupposed from this he had
secured a ride with some neighbor. His
brother, C. I. Helm, is inclined to tho be
lief that be has taken the Sunday morning
train for Goldecdale and has wired parties
for information, but as yet has received no
word. Any information as to his where
abouts will be gladly received bv his brother,
C. I. Helm.
Salem Statesman: Friday evening a 'ittle
girl and boy, aged four and eight, respect
ively, were crossing a narrow foot bridge
spanning a small stream near McCoy, when
the girl made a misstep and fell headlong
into tbe swiftly tunning water below. It
was not over three feet deep, but the or
ient quickly carried her down tho stream.
She had gone under several times and
would soon have been drowned had not her
brave young escort followed down aloug tbe
bank of the creek and rescued her. She
had lodged against a snag and by holding
nto the long willow sprouts that lined the
stream on either side he was enabled to
wade out into tho water aud pull her to
shore with him. The littlo girl was Lucy
Durham, daughter of W. M. Durham,
driyer of, tbe McCoy stage. The youthiul
hero is Jimmy Durham, a cousiu of the one
whose life he saved.
W. W. Union: From the Oreoonian of
Fri'lav it is learned that the man drowned
in Portland on Thursday was not Harry
Bcmis. of Walla Walla, bnt a laborer
rained James O'Brien. When he was taken
from the river Thursday afternoon, in Ins
pockets were found a leaf from a inemor
dum book, upon which was written in pen
cil, "Charles Baker, International hotel,"
net a letter also written in pencil, elated
Camp No. 4, September 1, ISS'J, addressed
to a.. Bonus, alia alia and signed J .
Carey. The writer advises the addressed
that ho is at work and glad of it, and hopes
that his friend is also laboring and saving
his "wealth." At fiist it was thought that
the man's name was Bemis from this letter,
but he was afterwards identified. Bemis'
mother who resides in Walla Walla was in
formed of his supposed death on Thursday
night, and was much excited and depressed
over the news,'uutil she received word on
Friday that the dead man was not her son.
She is Mill in ignorance ot Harry's where
abouts, though she supposes him to be in
Spokane falls.
fenlfclde at Cnneonnlly, -
Outlook.
On Monday this community was greatly
siiouked to learn that one of our most esti
mable citizens had taken his departure from
our midst by self destruction. Early Tues
day he 'went Oct to the ranch cf Mr. Geer,
about two miles above town, where he ate
breakfast. Shortly aftcrwatds Mr. Geer
left the house and went out on tbe range to
get bis borse, and on returning found Mr.
Murphy on the tlior aean, witn a ouuei
hole through bis body. By his side lay a
double-barrel shotgun with one barrel
empty and the othor loaded and cocked.
Th" sheriff anil ru oner were immediately
notified and an inquest u-'ld. The verdict
of the jury was that the deceased came to
his death by a gunshot wound indicted by
his own hand.
The burial services were performed
Thursday afternocu, thft body b.iu interred
in the Coucouully cemetery.
Deceased was a brother of an estimable
citizen, Thomas Murphy, was oi year old
aud had resitted iu Conconully about two
years. He was a man of sedentary habits,
possessed of more than ordinary intelli
gence, and by his q-iiet and gentlemanly
demeanor, had distinguish himself as a con
scientious man and a good citiz-n.
It
Happened '-Oat West."
A most charming story is going the
louds of the telegraph, which for im
aginative power beats a good many lies:
"Acitizeo just arrived from the Paoilic
toast letisuf a thrilling aiaddeut to the
Cauadiau Pacific through i-xprcsain the
mountains. A rail guve way at a point
n n the mountain ride high above the
Columbia riv-r. Tbeeogiue passed over
safelv, but the two conches following
swung about t:nd toppled over. The
bank was almost perpendirultr, and 'the
cars would have tumbled several hundred
leet into the river bad it not been that
the coupling twisted around and held tho
tremendous weight. There were the two
cars, one with its load of passengers sus
pended over tbe abyss. The weight of
the engine and balance of the train pre
vented the suspended cars drawing the
whole train down. The suspense was
dreadful. Tbe frightened passenger!
were compelled to remain in tbeir peril
ous position nntil tbe trair. bands built a
platform around and underneath the
hanging cars enabling all to make their
escape."
"CHESTNUTS."
A great surgical feat Lan
sing Michigan.
With inany of tho performers
a ballot is a matter of form.
Poker is our national'gaine,
and that is why the chips are
red, white and blue.
When a woman asks for some
pin money does she mean rIio
will only needle little?
A pig was never known to
wash, but a great many people
have seen the pig iron.
The devil has a particularly
hot fire for the mother that
wants to send her daughter husband-hunting
at sixteen.
Crusty "Be careful, waiter.
your thumb is in tho soun."
Air . ,,t i ... v
trailer "a don't mind it., kip-
I'm used to being in the soun."
"What is vour salnrv. TV
Stiggins?" "My salarv." said thn
clergyman, slowly, "is $3000.
But my pay is about $1200."
"You have heard a cat pur. I
suppose, George?"
ics, Mary, but outside of
poetry j-ou never heard a Cow-
per."
"Are we runninsr on time?"
asked the nervous nnssoniwi-
'Not much," said the conductor!
"this road does a strictly cash
business."
She "Arid will vou love me?"
All the live-long day?" "lie
"Ye-e-s, I think so. You'll give
me a chance to stop for meals. I
suppose?"
Titus Canby "I want a tooth
pulled; how much will it be?"
Dentist "Fifty cents." Titus
Canby "Here'sa quarter pull
it half out."
Redhead viMe is the name of a
flourishing settlement in Ostego
county, Michigan. White
horses are, presumablv. m-e-
alent in Kedhcadville.
"My dear sir, how much your
daughter has grown this last N
summer. I can scarcely believe
it. Why her dress scarcely
reaches to her shoulders.
He "My dearest, darlingest
little wifey--" She "You needn't
employ any of that sort of taffy,
for you won't get the latch-key,
no matter what vou sav "
-
That recent snow storm at
Havana was a remarkable event.
That the Cuban -brethern were
a little frightened is snow won
der. They decline to Havana
more.
Funny passer-by "What aro
you digging for, my friend?"
Trench digger "Money." F. P.
B. "When do you expect to
strike it?" T. D. "Saturday
night."
Man at telephone (trying to
find out who rung tho call)
"Hello, there; aro you 37?"
Young lady at the other end
(indignantly) "No, you horrid
thing, I'm only 17."
"I met Squibbs, the tailor,
at tho labor meeting last night,
and he sat at the same table as
tho reporters." "Taking notes,
eh?" "No, confound him, ho
wasn't He wanted cash."
Teacher "Have animals a
capacity for affection?" Class
"Nearly all." Teacher "Cor
rect. Now, what animal pos
sesses the greatest affection for
man?" Little girl "Woman."
"Can't you stay a little while
longer?" asked the criminal, as
his kind friend was about to
leave. "No, Bob, I haven't time
to-day." "Well,"saH Bob, "take
some of mine. I ve got ten years
more than I want hero."
Judge (to police officer)
"Are you sure, 6ir, that the pris
oner was drunk?" Officer "Is
it dhrunk, yer honor?.. Sure.'af
he ud ghpake through the tilli
phone, the brith uv 'ini have
made the poles shtagger."
"I never spoke cross to my
wife but once, Uncle HankJ"
said Charley Miles.
" Quite remarkable that
quite remarkable."
"Not so very, Uncle Hank.
See that scar."
. "If it wasn't for one thing,"
said Uncle Hank Allen, "I'd?
bet $1,000,000, if I had it, on
that bay colt o' mine trottin' a
mile in 2:20."
"What's the one thing?"
asked Deacon Bonney.
f'The distance, Deacon, is too
great for the time too great."
The following was overheard
between a Columbia student and
his best girl: Oh, Will, what
lovely flowers. They look as if
they had just been gathered.
Why, there is a little dew upon
them. Will (slightly erabar- -rassed)
Not a' cent, I assure
you; not a cent.
Prominent Actress That man .
whon you recommended to
me as a competent person to
steal my $50,000 worth of dia
monds and then return them,
was guilty of unprofessional
conduct.
Manaeer Indeed! In what
way
Professional Actress Ho
really
and actually did steal
them.
Manager Oh, never mind.
Here are $25. Go' and replace
them.