MIKE'S SIGNS.
llow n Intelligent . Irishman Posed a a
. " Frofesor. v
.The writer heardthe following story
a few evenings since. To him it was
very amusing, as well as a good illus
tration of the aptness of different minds
to misconstrue the same facts in qnite
opposite directions.
Some time ago a learned Frenchman
became very enthusiastic on the subject
of a universal language for the human
race. . After much thought and theo
rizing on the subject he came to the
conclusion that the only language that
could be universal at the present d.ay
must be a language of signs. . Being
deeply impressed with the .importance
of this language to humanity, he deter
mined to travel from country to country
and teach it in all their colleges ami
universities. . 'yf:s
As it happened, the first country he
reached in his travels was Ireland," and
the first institution he went to was the
University at Dublin.
He called upon the President of the
university, anu alter-some conversa
tion with him asked him if he had a
Srofessor of signs, in hs University,
ow there was no professor of signs in
the University, but the President, not
wishing to be behind the learned
Frenchman, told him that they had one.
The President was asked to be intro
duced to him. The President was taken
aback at this, but told him that he
could not pee the Professor that day,
but if he would call the next day at 'the.
same hour be would introduce him.
After the Frenchman had gone the
President ealled his professors together
..and told them the nx he was in, and
1 tnlrl t.ViAin that nnp nf them . rmit nl:iv
the part of professor of signs next day.
They all demurred and objected to this,
beinsr afraid that thev raiirht becausrht
by the Frenchman.
As none of them were willing to play
tri nart- thpr nt. last ripf.irloil in" train
r -- ----'j -
Mike, the choreman, for it. Mike had
lost an eye, and was very sensitive
about it. tmnkinjr that people were
constantly noticing it and making allu
sions to it. . - .
Mike was consulted, and consented
to plav the part, providing that the
frenchman should not reter to ins de
fect.
. Ihe next day the rresident and pro
cessors dressed Mike up m a s:ood suit
of clothes, took him to a recitat'on
room, seated hi.ra alone on the plat
form, and then retired, for the rrench
man was to see him alone. Before
they left him thev told him what to do,
and that he must not speak. .
- lie replied; "Sure 1 11 not, if he sez
no thin' about me ove."
At the appointed time theFrenchnian
called, and was ushered into the reci
tation-room of the Professor of Sign.1
The President and professors waited in
an adjoining room anxiously for the re
sult In a Short time the r reuchman
came back to them, apparently much
pleased.. '. ' : -.
"How did vou like our Professor of
Signs?" inquired the President.
'Very. much, indeed.'-. 'I congratulate
you on your able Professor. I am more
than ever convinced that the language
of signs is to be the universal language.
When I went into the room I held up
one finger, meaning there is one (od.
He understood me at once, and held up
Iwn finrrora nwnin(f VntVior anil fsrtri
I then held up three fingers, meaning
there are three persons in the Irimty.
He replied by doubling up his hand,
meaning: And these three are one. I
then withdrew. It is wonderful. I an
delighted."
After the Frenchman had gone, the
President and professors sent in haste
for Mike, for though they were
pleased at having gotten out of the
dilemma, they were very anxious to
hear Mike's account of the inter
view. Mike came in, very angry. I
tould yez he would say something
about me oye. The first thing he did
was till. honld tin wan fino-er. m'snin1
I had but wan eye."
"What did you do then, M ke?
asked the President.
"Sure I held wp me two linger.-, till
let him know I had two fists; aa' phat
does the durty blackguard do but
hould up three fingers, m'an'n' we had
but three oyes betwane us. Thin I.
doubled up me fist, and would 1a guv
the frog' atinV varmint a welt over" his
oye, but he comminst a-smilin1 an' a
bowin' an' a-scrapin an win t Out iv
' the room." Harper' a Maaazine. v
Sixty Million Years Hence.
Prof. Rich ard A. Proctor says the
moon is the most interesting of all the
heavenly bodies. It has been p.irticu-
' larly serviceable in the proof it allbrds of
the law of gravitation. It proves, too,
what the world has been in remote ages
of the past and what it will, be in the
remote ages to come. Its most s'g
nificant services to man has been as a
measurement of time. The only per
ceptible effect which the earth has upon
the moon's course is that of attraction,
by which its route in space is slightly
deviated. From the moon's present
condition we may inform ourselves of
the course of all planetary life. , There
is every ' reason to suppose that our
present condition was at one time hers;
that she possessed an atmosphere,
animal ana vegetable life. That has
now passed away. Her surface is a
sterile, rocky mass. The atmosphere
has gone or nearly so, and the seas are
dried up. This same process is going
on with our earth, and a similar result
will eventually ensue, but by reason of
the greater bulk of our p!aW, effects
produced in ten millions of years in the
moon will require sixty millions with
us. A7. Y. Tribune. ' ;
Why Shouldn't He Understand? '
It was almost midnight; the hands of
the clock were toiling painfully around
their circuit; the maiden yawned and
incidentally remarked that it was grow
inglate, but the youth kept his seat. '
"Miranda,", he said at length, "I have
made up my mind to ask you if you will
be my wife." "Y
. "I "don't know," she answered, "you
seem to lack energy, and energy is an
important thing ina young main who
undertakes the responsibility of support
ing a wife."
"Of course; but why do you think I
lack energy?"
"Because there doesn't seem to be
much go to you."
"Much go to me?"
"Not much go home, at least."
Ile'understood her.
Bombav
husbands cut
off their
wives noses for punishment. In.ua do
n
we arrive at the knowledge of the im
portant fact that Bombay women talk
through their noses. fasten Post.
If the water in your Washing is hard
or alkali, use the Standard Soap Co.'s
Petroleum Bleaching Soap. Its effect
will surprise you.
LATE NEWS SUMMARY.
Foreign and Ioinstic.
The cost of the war to China so far has
been $90,010,000. - .
Seven inches . of snow fell at Thayer,
Mo., March 14th.
Pneumonia is stitl verv prevalent and
fatal In New York.
Joe Goss, the pugilist, is dying in Bos
ton of Bright's disease.
President Cleveland was forty-eight
vears old on the 18th inst.
Mrs. Yseult Dudley has been indicted
by the Grand Jury of New York.
Charles Briffzs. the wife murderer, was
hanged at Philadelphia on the 17th.
An Englishman is in command of the
Turkish lifeboat service on the Black Sea.
Two Mexicans were killed by an explor
aion in a coal mine near Eagle Pass, Tex,
At Waterbury, Conn., the Bdrreth Hard
ware Compauy has failed. Liabilities,
? 12o,000. , .
Bv a small majority the Trustees of. the
British Museum have decided in favor of
Sunday opening.
The indinjrent students of Dartmouth
receive Sn.000 yearlv from the State of
New Hampshire.
Advices from Calcutta report that tea
and indigo districts in India are suffering
severely from drought, y ; J
It is reported that 150 Canadian servant
girls will arrive at Victoria in Mav pre
pared to accept service.
One of the leading temperance mn of
Barnbury, tS. C. has been indicted for
selling liquor on the sly. - ,
The bark John Shate sank at her d ck
in New York, and the wife and child of
Captain Boyle were di owned.
Nineteen cities and towns in New
Hampshire are taking action to secure the
publication of local histories.
Mrs. Langtry has lately lent S2V00
more, making $15,000 in all, on mortgage
of real estate in New xorfc laty. ;
The Duke of Richmond, the largest
owner of rented property in London, has
reduced all his rents t-n per cent.
Mary is the most common of all names
in England, there being 6,819 out of every
50,' 00 individuals answering to it. . .
.The trades unions throughout the coun
try are officially disclaiming any sympa
thy with Socialists and Anarcmsis.
The bang, it is understood, is going out
t fashion, into which it was nrougnc oy
the children of the Prince of AVales.
Another company has been formed- in
New York for th purposa of aerial navi
uation, with a capital stock of 100,000.
Judge Houston has rejected both of
Mrs. Myra Clark Gaines' wills. That in
favor of Mrs. Evans is pronounced a forg
ery. ''
. The total number of enrolled volunteers
in Great Britain at the present time is
280,000 men, the greatest number yet
attained.
Mr. Terris fell on his dagger while play
ing "Romeo' in London on January 3Uih,
and came near giving reality to the ending
of the tragedy.
A London dispatch says the belief ex
ists there that both Russia and England
are trying to find an easy way out of the
Afghan difficulty.
1 Victor Hugo declined an offer of 50 j
francs to write a poem fer a recent anni
versary occasion in Paris. Lord Tenny
son was not asked.
Upon receipt of the President's procla
mation concerning Oklahoma lands, most
of those preparing to invade Indi in Terri
tory decided to return home.
The Canadian Pacific Railway proposes
to issue bonds to the amount of ip0.lH,0G0,
the shareholders to take halt, and the
Government the other half.
It is believed the Chinese Government
is about to declare American fiour contra
band of war in consequence of the action
of France declaring rice contraband. ;
The resignation of Second Lieutenant
Vasa E. Stolbrand, Thirteenth lnfantryr
now under charges of duplicating his pay
accounts, has been accepted by the Presi
dent. .;- .'. , ;
The Legislature of North Carolina has
passed a law pensioning all State soldiers
who participated in the War of the Re
bellion. -Each soldier is allowed 0 per
year. ... .
The Bichester hounds in England re
cently had a remarkably long run, which
was terminated by the fox falling dead
in front of the pack. Five horses were
killed. :.-:'-) : : ,
Ambrose Anderson, a plumber, was shot
and killed by William Wagner in a saloon
door.: He was intoxicated, and was try
ing to force his way into the saloon when
"stopped." i
The "munificent sum" of ten cents was
given by a traveler to a colored man in
Asheville, N. C, recently, who found and
eturned to him his lost pocket-book con
aining 800. -Joseph
Winters, a prominent fanner
living near Hagerstown, Md died of
grief, occasioned by the conviction and
sentence to the penitentiary for three
years of his son.
The Coal Miners' Convention at Straits
ville, Ohio, with delegates present from
Hacking Valley, have decided to accept
fifty cents per ton. This ends the strike
begun April last.
Joseph R. Ryan, of Virginia City, Ne
vada, has been appointed Superintendant
of the Carson City mint. This is the first
appointment made by President Cleve
land for the Pacific coast.
The Czar of Russia has ordered all Cath
olic clergymen in the Empire to fo-mally
acknowledge his authority as superior to
that of the Pope. If they do not, their
functions will be superseded. '
r In the town of New Holland, Illinois,
fifteen business houses were burned, wip
ing out the entire business portion of the
town. The loss is $.'W,00'J. One grocery
store alone escaped destruction.
The son of a French General has recently
invented a gun which will fire thirty shots
a minute with two movements. The gov
ernment is now experimenting wjth a
view to its adoption in the army.
:It is reported that , the locoinetive engi
neers of the Gould system will go out on
a strike, unless the dem nd of the .Griev
ance Committee be acceded to. The
Brotherhood numbers 30,000 engineers.
At West Newton, Pa., Robert Latimore,
a mine superintendent, was fatally beaten
by a crowd of discharged miners and their
wives. Twenty-five men and fifteen
women were af rested for supposed . par
ticipation. The Senate has adopted a resolution
warning Guatemala that on account of
the United States' interests in Nicaragua
and Costa Rica, an ivasion of those repub
lics by Guatemala would , be unfriendly
and hostile to the United States.
The act under which General Grant was
restored to the army - register does not
authorize his appointment from the date
he retired from the office of President of
the United States, as many persons sup
pose, but from date of appointment under
the act.
At Braddocks, Pa., fire destroyed prop
erty to the amount of , .$200,(!00. James
MeCullough and wife, David Cubbage,
James Yinger and a man named Rafferty
were fatally burned. Others are missing
and are supposed to have perished in the
names.
Bishop Warren of the Method i st Ch urch,
who married Mrs. Uiff, the widow of the
" cattle king," is laboring hard on behalf
of the Denver University Fund. ' Mrs.
Warren has agreed to give $100,00) on
condition that the citizens subscribe a
like amount.
Numerous diamonds have been found
in our county of princely value, and are
in existence to-day, ornamenting, the
bosom or fingers of the American people.
We know of one, picked up on our streets
a few weeks since, for which the owner
has been offered $3,000. Gainesville. Ga,
Press. rv.-: : '
The Italian Government threatens to
terminate the Latin Monetary Union,
unless concessions are made to enable
Italy to coin a certain amount of silver.
The Treasury holds 25,000,000 francs in
silver of the old Bourbon Government
which it is desired to recoin into five franc
and lire pieces.
MARKET REPORTS.
Portland.
WHEAT -Per ctL valley, l.mI.C0.
Walla, Walla, 1.12iCal.l3.
FLOUR Per bbl, standard brands,
4.SJ5; superflne,?2.50S3.50; country brands,
t33.75. -
'BEANS Per ctl. small ' whites. 2.00;
bay os, 3; pinks. $2.50; butter, $2.50.
BUTTER- Per tt, choice dairy, 2TJc;
country store, lO&loc; Eastern, 2oc. , .
CHEESE -Per lb, choice , local, 12Hc;
imported, J2(10c.
DRIED FKUITSPer tt, apples, 5$ 8c;
plums, . bYa 8c; prunes, 88Jc; peaches, 1-lc:
raisins, $2.25 bx.
EGGS Per doz. 15c.
liARD Per lb, pails, 11c; tins, Eastern,
lie; tins, Uregon, lljc.
OAT MEAL Common, $3.50 l ctl.
CORN MEAL Per ctl. $3.
HOMINY Per ctl, $3.75.
CRACKED WHEAT Per ctl, $3.
BUCKWHEAT FLOUR Per ctl, $3.75
(M.O0.
RYE FLOUR Per ctl, $4. , .
RICE Per it, China No. 1, 5ic; mixed,
42c; Hawaiian Islands, oic. -
VEGETABLES Cabbage, 2c; unions,
2c V R; carrots, . 50 e t? sack; turnips,
CANNED GOODS Tomatoes, 2$-lt cans
f! do, $1.10, gallons, $3.50; pie fruits, as
sorted, $2.50, gallons, $4; green corn, $1.25
(gil.00; oysters, $1.25 tf!2.25; lobsters, $1.75
8 2.75; jams and jellies, $2.50. .r -
COFFEE lb, Guatemala, green, 11V
I2ic; Costa Rica, 12C; "-'old Government
-Java, 2uc.
POTATOES Irish,!? bu, 203)c; sweat
tt, 12 iC.
POULTRY Chickens, doz, $4.50;
ducks, $5'a6; geese, $9 & 10; turkeys, fe lb,
10llc.
PKOVISIONS-Hams, lb, 13gl6c; ba
con, 1010 c.
GROCERIES-Pickles, keg, $1.10 e
1.25; starch, $ lb, 70ic, codfish, oc; mac
keael. No. 1, kit, $2, No. 2, $1.75; herring,
dried, fc? 10-lb bx, 75c.
SUGAltS Quote bbls: (A) patent cube;
7c; (A) crushed, 7ij; dry granulated, 7$c;
golden C, 5c; extra powdered, 7Jc.
: SEEDS Wholesale to farmers ctl, red
clover, $15; alfalfa, $18; white clover, $35;
alsike, $32; timothy, piirae, $7.50; Ken
tucky blue grass, extra clean, $t ; peren
nial rye grass, $15; red top, $12; orchard
grass, $lo; rye black, $2; bone meal, $
ton, $3s; bone phosphates. $45.
SLICES tf tb, pepper, liKaiZoc; mustad,
I8c; ginger, 18c; cinnamon, 27 Jc; uutmeu,
80c; 'sage, 30c.
TROPICAL FRUIT Lemons, $0 a0.50
case; bananas, $ I 0 J; cocoanuts, 8c; or
anges, $2 3 00 p 100.
BRAN Per ton? $1214.
MIDDLINGS Per ton, $20(525.
GROUND BARLEY Per ton $2iw23.
OATS Choice milling, 30c; choice feed,
30.t:i3c. .. .
HAY Per ton, timothy, haled,
loose, $12.
HOPS Per lb, 12f 12c.
. WOOL Valley, 10(&,12ic; eastern
gon, 10ajl5c.
GRAIN BAGS Per ft, Calcutta,
36c OAc.
lilDES-Dry, 16c; salted, 0 7.
BROOMS Per doz. $2.25feti.50.
$ll
Ore-
22(a.
San FraneIeo. '
BAGS -Calcutta wheat bags, 0c.
FLOUR Best city extra, $t.374fe5.0();
medium, $3.754i5; shipping superfine,
$2.7 i 3.75.
WHKAT No. 1 grades, $1.25; choice
milling parcels, $1.35 ctl. -
BAHLEif No. 1 quality, 92A 93c;
brewing, $1.021. 12J.
OATS Surprise and milling, $1.30
1.40; No. 1, $1.15I.20: No. jf, uc$l; oft
grades, 75c'gyoc: black, -$Pl.lu ctl.
CORN Large yellow, $1.051.10; small
yellow, $1.I5(1.2 t: white, $l.lu1.15 tctl
CRACKED CORN Per ton, $i7.508.
CORN MEAL Feed, $i7.5l p ton;
fine kinds for table, 2i3c 1T.
SEEDS -Mustard, $2.25. a 3 for brown,
and $2.2.25 for yellow; canary, 4 i44c;
hemp, ty'ai'die; raie, 2(a3c; timothy, 5
(ic; alfalfa, 17c $ lb; fiax, $s.252.50 iff ctl.
MIDDLINGS-Per ton, $10(o,i8.
HAY Alfalfa, $8.O0 J 1.00; wheat, $10
I5; oat, $8 12; barley, $7U; mixed,
$7(ai.
STRAW Per bale, 6070c.
HOPS Per lb, ycoillc.
BRAN Per ton, $1314.
RYE-Per ctl, $1 iuwl.16'.
BUCKWHEAT Per ctl, 1.2515y.
GROUND BARLEY Per too, $il.50i
23.50. : - - : .
POTATOES Early rose, 85c; river
red, 85c; Petalumas, 90c$l.l0; garnet
chile, 5055c; peerless, 0585c; Hum
boldt kidney, $1.10.1.i5; do red, $l.b tf
ctl; peachblows, $1.10. ' . ;
ONIONS Per ctl, $1.00 a 2 75.
DRIED PEAS Green, $2.50; niles,
$1.50; blackeye, $2.25 $ ctl. .
BKANS Bayos, $2.503; butter, $1.00
1.35; pink, $1.09(5; 1.75; red, $2.00'2.12 ;
lima, $1.80; sma 1 white, $1.25Cri.7 i; pea,
$1.601.90 $ ctl..
VEGETABLES Green peas, 68c ' S;
carrots, 3035c; turnips, 50(cl60c; beets, 40
60c; parsnips, $1; cabbage, 50.G0c V? ctl.
FRUIT Apples, 75c$l; pears, $12;
lemons, California, 60c g$l: limes, Mex
ican, $11.50(tajl3; oranges, California, 75c(Oi
$1.25 lbox. -
DRIED FRUIT Sun-dried apples, 2&
3c; apricots, 9c; blackberries, 11c: figs,
4c; peaches, 1415c; pears, 4c; plums,
7ic; prunes, German, 5; do, French, 6c
tb; raisins, new crop Layers, $1.50
1.75 lbox.
HIDES Dry. if tb. usual selection. 170
18; dry kip, 17:8c; dry calf, 2Tc altd
steers. 50 to Sorbs. 774c
WOOL - Mendocino. 1820c. I? Ib.
Humboldt, 182tK;; San Joaquin, 6(g8e
eastern Oregon, 14I6c
LARD Eastern, 111U for tierces, and
lll'ff'IDc for pails; California, 10-Ib,S(s8ic.
HONEY Comb, 7(&8c; extracted, 45c
BUTTER Fancy, 20c; choice, 1819c;
fair to good, li18c; ordinary, 1214c;
mixed store shipments, dull at ll,14c;
Eastern, I2i15c ff Hi.
EGGS- doze, 17i'g 18c.
POULTRY Turkeys, gobblers, 16(i 17c;
hens, 202lc; dressed do. 17(22c 1? lt;
roosters, $56.00 for old and $6.5')(58 for
young; hens, $6.008.00; broilers, $56,
as to size; ducks, $7.008.50 ff doz: geese,
$2.252.75 $ pair.
TALLOW Grease, 3'4; crude, ojoc:
refined. 7i(?)7c Ih . - . "
CHE15SE California. I l12c.
SALT Per ton, $15 a 25.
- RICE Hawaiian, 5a5J; China, 4i?4?.c.
SUGAR Dry granulated, Oi'c: extra
fine cubes, 7c; fine crushed, 7c; powder
ed, 71e; extra fine powdered, 8c; extra
golden C, of; golden C, 5c.
SYRUP American refinery is quoted
at 30c in bbls. 32ic in hf bbls. 40c in 5-gal
kegs, and 50c in 1 -gal tins.
..' .... .
At Brooklyn, New York, a petition has
been filed for the dissolution of the Trinity
Church corporation, the petitioner alleging
that "the enormous, property is no longer
held for church purposes; ihat the paslors
of Tiiuiry no linger preach orthodox
EpiscDpalianism, and that the corpora! i m
has become a political society."
Local reports in the newspaptrs jub
lished in various parts of the United
States indicate not only a. general appre
hension that cholera will visit this coun
try next summer, bnt an almost equally
general disposition to make provision to
fight its appearance.
Application has been made by the
British military authoritios to the Direc
tors of the Canadian Pacific Railway to
learn the earliest date the railway will be
finished, so as to take the troops t- India.
The Transcontinental Railway Associa
tion announce a reduced tariff on green
fruits from the Pacific Coast to Eastern
points. The rate per -100 pounds by
freight train to Chicago will be $1.50.
- A GOVERHMENT SHEEIFF.
Mr. Edward L. Green, Sheriff, Auck
land, New Zealand, writes : " I received
an injury to my shoulder in June, 182,
and from that date untilJuly, 1883, 1 could
not use my arm. I applied to medical men
and used all sorts of liniment, without
any benefit. Ivhave great pleasure in
stating I had occasion to use St. Jacobs
Oil for it, and I had not used it more than
ten minutes before I felt the beneficial
effect, and I can work with my saw. or
spade as well as ever I did, and recom
mend it to any one suffering pain."
SLEEP F02 THE SLEEPLE'S.
It was Coleridse who put in the mouth of
that quaint old genius, the "Anciect Mariner,"
the wurrts,
" O. sleep, it is a bh &sed tains'.
Helovedfr m jwle to pole."
The mau who regularly-enjoys souud and re-frt-shing
sleep has no adequate coneepti m of
all these woi-ds imply. It is to the sufferer who
in sleepless weariness tosses on his bed half the
nigrht. and toward daytiKht snatches a little un
sa isfactorj- slumbr-r. that their full meaning is
apparent. The jriau who digests .wtll and
sleeps ell can stand almost any amount of
liarti work. It is not wort that kills people; it
is worry. The work that is followed oy restful
Bleen brings good health and strength: for the
dailv waste of the body is repaired during the
niglitj But the worry that oppresses the victim
of insomnia daring a sleepless night is what
racks the systeBJ, wears out the., muscles, tor
ments the nerves ana Dewuaers me Drain, u
that life serins hardly worth 1 ving.
"Insomnia"' ia a growing ev 1. In this busy age,
when active men are all the time overworking
themselves, there are fire times as many peo
ple tormented with inability to sleep as there
were a genera' ion ago. We -are living under
higher pressure. "Insomnia" is of differen
kinds, and nroc. ds from dUferent mental and
physical causes. But most of it may be summed
up as to character in the words "can't sleejv
and as to came, in indigesiion or overworked
brain and nerves. ; ' .'; . ' '
A most marked case of insomnia and recov
ery from it, is that of Arthur Hagan, Esq., the
well known wholesale tobacconist of Philadel
phia. Mr. Hagan is one of the largest dealers
In tobucco, and is the Philadelphia representa
tive of the great Bait more house of O. W. tiail
& .Ax. In Hie interest of those who are inquir
ing the best wav to secure sound sleep, and to
triumph over the torments of insomnia, one of
nur vfitnra callod on Mr. llatran at his store, on
North Front street. If he had been looking
among a party of gentlemen for one who hau
hm hadfv rim down by dyspepsia and insom
nia, Mr. riaKan would not i ave been the one
selected. That gentleman now looks in snch
ex-wltant uhvsical condition that no one would
suppose him ever tolhave suffered from a day's
illness or a night's loss of rest. In response to
questions as to his past and present experience,
Mr. f lae-an caid to our etlitor: '
"My case was one of severe and long continu
ed Insomnia, proceeding largely from dyspepsia,
the result of too great application to business.
My system was very badly run down. Sleep
became almost an impossibility. My physical
distress during the night from being unable to
secure refreshing dumber was dreadful. It
weakened and distracted me during the day,
and made attention io business a slow martyr
dom.- For Ave or six years 1 was from time to
time unde the care of different pnyeicians, re
ceiving occasionally some measure of benefit,
ye on the whole gaining no material advant
age. 1 was put on a very low and simple diet,
consisting principally of skimmed milk.
After passing through a long variety of ex
periences as to physic and diet, I one day hap
pened to pass the oftice of i)rs. Starjcey & Palen,
and 1 noticed the sign of "Compound Oxygen."
As other modes of treatment had failed, I
thought thisone could do no worse, and it might
do better. So I went in at a venture and made
a trial of it. For some time I had been endur
ing the agony of dyspepsia, and for weeks had
not been able to sleep without the aid of chloral
or other drugs. The Oxygen did not work an
immediate miracle in me. But I soon saw it
was doing uie good, and so I resol ved to persist
in its use and to give it a thorough trial. Before
long I began to know the pleasure of real sleep.
It was by dearrees that my dyspepsia left me, and
the power to sleep returned, 1 was greatly en
couraged by my partial improvement, and this
stimulated me to go on with great regularity
and persistence. If my recovery was slow, it
was real. I had the, best of home nursing and
attention, and that was, of course, a material
aid to me. For several njonths I regularly took
the Compound Oxygen Treatment carefully
obeying the directions, and constantly gaining
strength and freedom from disease. My system
received the vitalizing' which it so badly needed.
About two years itgo this took place, and I
have enjoyed a prime condition of health
since. 1 have been able to attend with pleasure
and satisfaction to my business. I have no
need now to resort to the Compound Oxygen
Treatment, except occasionally for a cold or
for some other temporary disorder. I take an
abundance of exercise, and I eat and sleep as
well as man can wish to.
1 hve recommended Compound Oxygen to a
number of friends, who have tried it with en
tire satisfaction. My friend,. Mr. K. V. Ed
wards, of this city, is notably one of these. lie
was badly run down by Bright's Disease and
other intlrniitics, but was.. brought into good
shape by the Compound Oxygen, and is now at
tending to business with ease and comfort. As
a complete vitalize! of the system, he. Oxygen is
all that can be desired. It drives out disease
by restoring vital action and put'ing the system
in such a s ate of strength that disease has no
chance to stay."
The reader will naturally seek more informa
tion on this interesting subject." It can be had
in a pamphlet -which is published by Doctors
Starfcey & Palen, 1109 and 1111 Girard Street,
Philadelphia, and which will be mailed to any
address on application.
WIT AND WISDOM.
A sociable mau is one who, when
he has ten minutes to spare, goes and
bothers somebody who hasn't.
Tin and brass do not go well to
gether, says a scientific paper. Mr.
Science, you're away off. It's always
the fellow with brass that gets the girl
with lm.-r-ionkers Statesman.
Why is the gentleman called a
pawnbroker? Became the oftener you.
go to him the broker you get, and the
roker you are, the oftener you go to
him. This, also, will apply to auy
broker. Rise aud sing. Uurdtlte.
Roller skating: r .
"On the rollers he g-lides like the cars.
But an accident his happiness mars;
As so swiftly he sped,
r He sat down on his head.
And he sawaboutten million :
Norristown Herald.
A preacher noted for his originality
enlightened his hearers one Sabbath. by
the remark: "A conclusive proof that
God is benevolent is seen in the fact
that He has placed death at the end in
stoad of at the beginning of life."
Little boy: How old are you, pa?
Father: I will be forty-seven on my
next birthday. Little boy: When is
that? Father: The 22d of February.
Little boy (surprised): Why,' I thought
that was Washington's birthday. A'.
Y. Herald. ;
Two Texas ladies were talking
about the children. "How is your boy
coming on at school?" "He is nuite an
artist He is drawing live animals."
'So is my boy, Bill. lie drew a cat up
in a tree. He drew it all up by him
self, too." 4 Did he use a crayon?"
'No ; he used a rope. ' '- Texas , Sit
ings. "Husband, did you mail my letter?"
"Yes, my dear; had to run like fury to
catch the first mail." " Why, here it i
in your pocket now." "Hey? Urn a
yes; so it is no, this isn't your letter;
this is that is, this isn't the one you
wrote; this is the one you were going to
write and forgot V.- "John Henry'"
"No, Mary, I didn't mail your letter."
"Well, I'm awfully glad." I want to
add a postscript. " -Chicago News.
Try Germea for breakfast.
THE
OESTTOUIC, ?
This medicine, combining Iron with tuie
veget&Me tonics, quickly and completely
(-res Dyspepsia I ndlgentlon, WeaknetM,
I in pore liload, DIalarla,Cbilla and Vererm,
and Neuralgia. ,
It Is an unfailing remedy for Diseases of the
Kidney and 1 Jrer.
It is invaluable for Diseases peculiar tc
Women, and all who lead sedentary lives.
It does not injure the teeth, cause headache.or
prodnce constipation other Iron medicines do.
I'.enriJhes and purines the blood, stimulates
the appetite, aids the assimilation of food, re
lieves Heartburn and Belching, and strength
ens the mnscles and nerves.
For Intermittent Fevers, Lassitude, Lack of
Energy, Lc., it has no equal.
49" The genuine bas above trade mark and
crossed red lines on wrapper. Take no other.
MxUMtrbr BROWS CHKIICAL CO- BALTIIOKK. ID
- SXELL, HOITSHU & WOODARD,
Wholesale Agents, Portland, Or,
8 JTv -.
illffllii
TR0M A SENSE OF DUTY.
Some people shrink from matcing public
the benefit they have received, while oth
ers are free to tel it abroad for the cood
of fellow mortals. Of the latter kind is
Mr. J. II. Coppuck; of Munt Holly, N. J.,
who writes, "I am one of many w:ho give
their cheerful appreciation of ihe merits
of the efficacy of your valuable Brown'si
Iron JLJittersf from a sense of duty. This
bitters i doing much good in our county,
for which I can vouch."
Two Italian men-of-war and six torpedo
vessels have arrived at Port Said, Egypt.
EVESY WOMAN KNOWS THEM.
The human body is much like a good
clock or watch in its movements; if one
STOeS tOO Slow or too fast, an fnllnw nil tb
others, and bad time results ; if one organ
er aei or organs works' Imperfectly, per
version of functional effort of all the
organs is sure to follow; Hence it is that
the -numerous ; ailment) which make
woman's life miserable are the direct
issue of the abnormal action of the uterine
system. For all . that numerous class of
symptoms and every woman knows them
there is one unfailing remedy. Dr.
Pierce's "Favorite Prescription,'" ihe
favorite of the sex.
The Dominion Grange in session at Tor.
onto, has denounced railway monopolies.
A SOLID COIfC'EEN.
There are few, if any banking houses in
tne country equal in financial strencrth
and management with the Pacific Bank of
San Francisco, Cal. Its foundations have
been well laid, and its management under
the personal supervision of Dr. K. II. Mc
Donald accounts for its splendid achieve
merits in the pa-t i Out of the earnings of
tne past six months, the Hoard of Direct
ors have declared a dividend of 5 per cent,
being at the rate of 10 per cent per annum,
shows what discreet manacement will do.
The Pacific Bank is growing daily in mer-
can tile confidence, and its liberal, and at
the same time cautions, policy respecting
has won for it a host of friends among the
merchants and thoughtful financiers, of
not only 'ban irancis o, nut the entire Pa
cine slope. . -
Both houses of the Dakota Legislature
have passed the woman suffrage bill.
A STRONG END0WMEKT -
Is conferred upon that magnificent insti
tution, the human system, by Dr. Pierce
'Golden Medical Discovery' that fortifies
it against the encroachment of disease,
It is the great blood purifier and alterative
ana as a remedy for consumption, bron
chitis, and all diseases of a wasting nature,
its influence Is rapid, efficacious and ' per
manent. Sold everywhere.;
The Indian contingent of the Suakem
expedition has been landed at Suakem.
CATARRH A New Treatment has been dis
covered whereby a permanent cure is effected in
from one to three applications: Particulars and
treatise free on receipt of stamp. A. H. Dixon
& Son, 305 King St. west, 1 oronto, Canada.
Those complaining of Sore Throat or
Hoarseness should use " Krmrn's Bron
chial Troches." The effect is extraordi
nary, particularly when, used by singers
and speakers for clearing the voice. Sold
only in boxes.
Br AUTiFUi. Cards. A set of magnifi
cent Floral Cards, 4Jx6 inches, sent free
to alt persons who have u ed Brown's Iran
Bitters. State disease and effect. Write
your . address plainly. Brown Chemical
Co., Baltimore, Md.
When Baby vu Blck, -we gave her C ASTORIA, '
When she was a Child, sbe Cried for C ASTORIA,
When she beeaide Miss, she clung to CASTOBIA,
When Bhe had Children, she gave them C ASTORIA
A OA KI. To all who are sutfering from er
rors and indiscretions of youth, nervous weak
ness, early decay, loss of manhood, etc. I will
send a recipe that will cure you, FREE OF
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered
by a missionary in South America. Send setf
aadresstMl envelope to Re v. Joseph T, Ixman,
Station D. New York. -
Those" who desire the strongest and abso
lutely the beat should buy the Giant Bak
ing Powder. There isnomistakeabout it.
TO NEWSPAIES MEN.
Palmer & Rey, Type Founders and Press
Dealers, make special quotations on Type
and Printing Material to Purchasers in
the Northwest. Nos. 112 and 114 Front
street, Portland. Oregon.
Absolutely Pure.
Tills powder never variua A inancl of furit
strength and wholesomeness. More econoniic-il tiuu
the ordinary kinds, ami cannot be sold in competi
tion with the multitude of low test, short weight .
alum or phosphate powilers. Sold enly hi ows
Roi At. aisiNa Po msr Co. . 106 Wall street, Ji. Y.
WATSON, WRIGHT & CO.,
WliQlesale Grocers aal Comiaissioii Mercliants,
10 North Front Stl Portland. :
San Frariciiwo Office 18 Front St. '
Handle on commission Wheat, Wool, Hops. Seeds,
Fura, Hides, Chickens, Eggs, Lumber, Hootv-poles,
Salmon, Mill Feed, Oata, Barley, f)niont, Potatoes
Bacon, Lard, etc. Account sales rendered on day of
sale. Send for our market report. Oorrexpoiidence
and consignments solicited. .
Misell Goll Mai
PIIOS
Save half. largest
Factory In tne tetate
84,80, rjcuia rat.
PETALUIA IKCUBATOB
1881 Still Ahead! 1884
3 Gold Medals, 1 Silver, and 14
First Freminnts.
ps f rw -. . on
Ml Hatches all Kinds of Eggs
JL All sites from 30 to 650 eggs.
eggs.
Rend for large Illustrated eiirenlar No. 11. Explains how
to hatch and raise chickens pi-ofltably. Ciieulars free. Ad
dress FETALUMA. INCUBATOR CO.. IVtaluma Cal
A Clear Skin
is only a part of beauty;
but it is a part, - Every lady
may have it ; at least, what
looks f like it. Magnolia
Balm both freshens and
beautifies.
1
OR0YAL lifi&'At J XI
p v A p'z n P Ho
THE "V7E2FCCT CC0X E00S.
First Edition cf 00 sold in One Eay-llany
Advance Orders Already Received.
This is the best Cock Book in the market.
the recipes having been furnished by
well known ladies of Oregon and Wash
ington, and they have all been tried by
those contributing, thus insuring a prac
tical ho6k for the household. Kitchen edi
tion, board covers,1.5; cloth covers,$1.50.
Sold by all booksellers and sen t post paid
on receipt of price by the Publishers."
W. B. Aver & Co-
Booksellers and Stationers, tKJ First St.,
Portland, Or. .
The British Columbia Legislature has
been prorogued by the Governor.
. Premature decline of nower in
either sex, however induced, speedily and
Ssrmanentjy curea. uonsuitauon iree.
ook for three letter stamps. World's Dis
pensary Medical Association,Buffalo,N.Y.
T. S. Arthur, a prominent author and
publisher, died at Philadelphia on the ( h
HJtBFDonald presT
5,S.G.Marplyr
LMcDenaId,Jr.Yk4rrest.
EdcstCtartrndSaik
t&EasEo Coast Vl
w r a . - -
1000,000.00.
450,000.00,
439,819.59
I San Francisco, Cal Jan. 1, 1885.
Bank Premises,
Other Jteal Kstate
Land Association, Gas
and Bank Htoeks, .
Jjoansi and Discounts, '
Iue rrom Banks.
8150,000.00
0,479.99
. 33,074.05
SJi7.OHJSl
3Ioney on band f
$3139,819.29
Inabilities:
Capital, paid up, -NnrnlnsFnnd,
Undivided Profits,
l,OOtOOO.K
450.000.00
HO.H1HI.041
Due Beposltors, 181 8,0000
Une Banks, 7
Bividends Unpaid, - 13Q.OO
$3,439,813.23
This Bank solicits the accounts of Mer
chsnts. Manufacturers, Corporations, and Uusl
ness Firms generally.
ic II. McDonald, Pres,
POLL,
" THE OLD RELIABLE."
25 YEARS IN USE.
The Greatest Medical Triumph of the Age!
Indorsed all overthe World.
SYMPTOMS OF A
TORPID LIVER.
Xspjppejite
tive" Pain'm the HeacL-with a doll sen
sation In the back part. Fain under
thesh,oulder:j3ladefui
log, with a disinclination to exertion,
of body or mind, Irritability of temp
er, Jo w jpiri t s, Los so f mem ory , wi tlf
a feeling of having neglected some
dntyt wearinesSyjDizziness, Flutter
ing of the Heart, Dotsbefore the eyes, '
Yellow Skin.HeadaohejRestlessnesa
at night, highly colored Prise.
IT THESE "W ASKINGS ABE UNHEEDED,
E22I0C3 DEZAS23 WHi S00 S3 S7L0fS3.
TUTT'S FILLS are especially adapted to
such cases, one dose effects such a changs
of feeling as to astonish the sufferer.
They Increase the Appetite, and canse
the body to Take on flesh, thus the sys
tem Is nourished, and by their Tonic
Action on the IMgestive Oresm, Begu
lar Stools are produced. Price aa cents .
urat hair or whiskers changed to a
Glosst Black by a single application of
this Dtc It imparts a natural color, acts
Instantaneously. . Sold by Druggists, or
' sent by expresa on receipt of $1. .
OfTice, OA Mumv St.. York.
- lJEIPOBTJElD
5iTOB3IM HOBE.
HT. FAIRBANKS & H. WILSEY, THE ONLY
direct importers of .Norman Stallions frm
Iranee to California. Every one is recorded in the
National Register of Norman Horses, and those, in
wpt of this class of Horses, if flesh ed, ran purchase
(lira on one or two years' time, st reasonable inter
est, with satisfactory security. We will Sell cheaper
than the saute class of Stallions can he bought any
where else in the United States. . J5Send for Cat
alogue. 1'etalnma. Sonoma Co.. Cal.
J. c. Mn.r.KR. ' , " WILL U. WKST.
MILLER & WEST,
Commission Mer chants
General and Dairy Produce.
No. Ill Front Street, between Washington and Stark,
PORTLAND. OREGON.
Consignments solicited and returns promptly made.
Floor, Feed. Hay, Grain, Potatoes, Butter, fcggg, Cheese,
L'ry ana rreitn rrain nunuica.
Some Delights OT Mural Life.
Enforced dwellers in country towns
will read with sympathetic attention
uie iouowiug; cuarae.enstic passages
from a woman s letter, written from a
New Hampshire -village:
Ye have U13 greatest time gettinff
express buudles delivered . here.- Mr.
F. won't do it, and the only way one
knows there is something at the ollice
is through the kindness of friends. Our
mail is brought twice a day by attentive
neighbors, luck e l, everybody is very
kind. But the officials are "stupid al
most beyond report or belief. Tlie tel
egraph operator reeiveJ a message the
other day whicV he thought read
May's dyin? welL He thought that
it didn't make very good sense, so left
out the 'well,' and sent a TUfs.-age to
Mrs. C, 'May's dying,' which put her
household in .' commotion. She tele
graphed to her sou iu W. that she
would come at once, and made prep
arations to leave here at midnight. Her
son telegraphed b:;ck that she needn't
come; all was right. On investigating
the matter here she foun 1 that the tele
gram ih;iili have re id 'May's doing
well.'
"Yoa go to the hotel and ask if there
is any express for you and are told
there is not. Half an hour after a
neighbor eomes iu bringing " a package
which he says he just found at the of
fice. My 'feelin's have been greatlj
riled' since I came.'' '" 'J
r 1 1 j i
r . . i U H M .!
II
I Ft "
A T Resources $3,
""" Warranted to relie - : i
cure Heart Disease m
i j. f. MACK & COf
Aaiirrs, ' -
"1 have Suffered.!"
- -
AVith every disease imaginable for the
last three jears. Our .
Druggist, T.J. Anderson recoinniendinij:
-Hop Bitters" to ne,
I useii two bottles J
Am entirely cured, aud heartily lecorn-
mend Hop Bitters to every oiie. J. li.
alter, liuckner, JVlo.
I write this as a . "
Token of the great appreciation I Lave
of your Hop
Bitters. I was aftlcted '
With inflammatory rhtnmatisnj ! ! !
For nearly
Seven jears, andno medicine seeroed to
do me any 1
Good!!! '
Until I tried two bottle of your Hop
Bitters, and to my surprise I am as well
to-day as ever I was. 1 hope
"ou may have abundant success"
'In this great and"
Yaluabie medicine:
Anyone! wishing to know more
about my cure? i
Can learn by addressing me, E. M.
Williams, lKKi liitli street, Wushington,
D. C.
-I consider yvur
j Rem dy ihe best remedy in existence
Kor liKiigi-Ktion, kidney
, Complaint "i
"And nervous debility. I have just"
Returned
' - rrom tne soutu in a iruitiess search ior
health, and find thatyour Bitters are doing
me more : "
oodl
' ri A. I . ..I
i nan aujini uk eihe;
A month ar" I was extremely
" Emaciated:! I"
And scarcely able to walk. Now I am
Gaining strength! and s ,
- "Flesh!"
.'And hardly a day passes but what I ant
complimented on my improved appear
ance, aDd it is all due to Hop
Bitters! J. Wickliffe .Tackson,
j Wilminyton, Del. ,
i"None genuine without a buncli of green
Hops on the whi c label. Mum all the rile,
poisonous stufl with "Hop" or "Hops ' in tl tir
name.
Mm Dlreat Flavors.
Awarded Premium 1KS and 1
FOR PDRITT AHD STREliGfH
State Fair, Portland. Oregon.
Mechanics' Fair, S5an f'rtuieisco. Cul. .
State Fair, Sacramento. Cal,
Most Economical for une: nut tin in six
different sizes; full STRENGTH ANl)
FULL MKASUliK.
Prepared by
; BOTFIN MANUFACTURING CO.
Han Frajiel4o and arramfulo, Cal.
KOII1.EK A. CHASE. gan Francisco sua Port
land. Age tits for Decker ISi-ub., Fiwl.er, Jtchning Bohr
Bros, and the Kmerson FIhuom. Alio tut Muwn a '
Hamblin and the Ctiatve f lgraii(t. There agencie are
selected for merit, ami repiesent tbr beta in the Market
Write for descriptiau and net iiice. t-Sf Headiuarters
tor tuiua infttrtunents ana tiana Mupplieti. . .
4-
fTril!UlIU 1
O I CI ft II A I ,U"!.ler, UoentKh I'ihikw; Buriut
irtaiia, band instrutuenU. Largest stock at Shre
4nicaml Book a H&ikIxsu nlieii at Eastern iricu!
M. GRA V -HM I'oHt Street, San I-'rancucu.
Established 1861.
P. U. Box 2115.
JOHN
F. ENGLISH,
Giaiu, Produce and General
LUMIillbblUN (ilbKUtlAlii
Xom. 313 and '313 Davis Street,
8AK RAKCIW!0 CAL.
(Meiuber of 8. V. VnAaee Eiclmntf I. Crf.iltuieiiU
aud orders m ill rect-ire pmuiiit aiteutiuii. I nidi ad-
FOR SAFETY
t
riveTour Checks 2 Checkman
On Train Coining in to Portland,
ouictlT cured WthsCIVIALSiiilTEiOD. Adopted In alt
tlvb HCJSPITAlSOF FRANCS. Prompt return of VIGOlt
Simple cases, $3 to $6. BevereoieH, fcsio git. fuiuhietFte
italA KeaMtdlalAceaes. 16oVolUmSt.Kew Yorli
Tflln BELT or negewra.
tor ' made expisijr fop
t ie cure of derangetcenu
of the frener&tive organs.
There U no mistake ahout
this infitrument, tin Con
t niiouii Mreatn of B3.E(
TB1CITV rrmsatirn?
throuBh the porta nm t
restoi-o them to bontthy
.1 action,
ffy tm wi
' 1 " artvertts
ill trom ho
itbl tbeOSi
Do not eoufouti J
drerttwd to cure all ilia
hoaj to te. It to fa
I Kor elrf uiar frivliiR ; mi information, oildrew Ctteerur
fctoctriB felt Co.. KB Wagiuntrtjn bt.. ciucuu. Hi.
11,1 Great Strtnjci ben
tn Kent eI y and .Nene
Tattle Cares S ilhoat
F Jl.Nerouand. Physical
I Debility, a f Vitality,
j WuakneFV Ylrile Decline,
I Iir potency, O versengi t! v a
VOauiviUYin, t. iiubiihwwji, jviu-
I ney andfiladdcr Complaints,
I TtivsMMiof tli V.liirxI.Kriilv
tiens, and all the evXIeffect
ot youthful follies and x
eeNKK; tienuanently pi.-
fTentinff alt involuntary
1 weakening drains npou tho
isyttem; nowever tney occur
ret toring Xoat Manhood,
tiowever corupncaivu mo
case may be, and where all other reraeaiea have failed.
A Permanent Core Absolutely Guaranteed.
Price S50 per bottle, or f ie bottles for?10. Rent
irpon receipt ot price, nrC.O.O., to any addreiw, Etr-U
wiTate.by R. . . MALI IKll.
1 eia Knrnv Ht iwt. s.tn FrMnelHCo 1 nl.
h . uk . M JsuBicient to ahow iU
kA'.'VviJrWl'j.i merit, wilt be sent to any
one awh-ln by letter.
tatlntsyniptotnt!andajfe
v nuMiitaiioiiB, Btriutly ooundeutiai, by letter or at
WEAK, UNDEVELOPED PARTS
icin.-iimni giving all prni:iiinrg, ,y nnarvenne t.kiK MiqjicTi.
ar MY VI JtS the Seroi
Bcrotom. Ojtm ike stufetsd tumut
- nUcli f tmI paimUMr cm
a fJfMPRESSflR.sa ASD I3.
j 8nre cor without ofieralion. Ciieulr ao4 toMuiUtitott t res.
CiyiALS IZZZIIZT Aaicx. it.3 rtv4a ui.. i&s.
R. U. AWARE
Lcrillard's Clisns Plu?
bearing a rtd tin tag ; that lcrillard's
Iiae Le n f fine cut : t hat Lori il art! '
NaTy Cllppine. and that Lorillard's Huufl'a, are
the beat and cheapest, quali ty coniderai f
cons
i.
I hare a oonitlve remod v r ttio alKire i Isniwe : by its
IH thoosmiof ciwiol titi urt hind aud cf long
taodinchuTObeeii cured. I n lW'1, ott'"ntrl ray fsltfi
lo ItsettiejU-y.tlmt 1 wl I nn l TWO KOTTLKS t&Kt,
together witu a VAI.UAUI.K1 KEATISKon ttiidleaM
toaoy ioOrer, Glvex)reiind P O. iir . ,
la. T. A. BLOCUa, 181 PcartSt.. New York.
Did you Sup-
pose Mustang Liniment only good
for horses ? It ts for inflamma
tion of all flesh.
IV. P. N. U, N0..C8 -3. K. N. a. No 115
ASK FOS ;
UlAf! I EXTRACTS
t
itlWD
l V-'.fi