THE INDEPENDENT HAS THE FINEST JOB OFFICE IN DOUGLAS COUNTY. CARDS, BILL HEADS, LEGAL BLANKS. One Year -Six Months -Three Months $2 50 1 50 1 00 And other Printing, including Large and. HeaTj Posters and Slew Hani-Bills, These are the terms of those paying hi advance. The Independent offers fine inducements to advertisers. Terms reasonable. Neatly and expeditiously executed AT PORTLAND PRICES. VOLi IX. ROSEBTJRG, OREGON, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1884. NO. 33. THE INDEPENDENT, IS ISSUED SATURDAY MORNINGS, BY THE Douglas County Publishing Company. J. JASKULEK, PRACTICAL Watcliater. Jeweler and Optician, , ALL WORK WARRANTED. Dealer In Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Spectacles and Eyeglasses. AND A FULL LINK OF Cigais, Tobacco & Fancy Goods. Th only reliable Optomer m town for the proper adjust ment of spectacles ; always on nana. Depot of the Genuine Brazilian Pebble Spec tacles and Eyeglasses. Office First Door South of Postoffice, KOMEMITRO. OKEtJOX. i LANGENBERGS Boot and Shoe Store ItOSEBURU, OREGON, On Jackson Street, Opposite the Post Office, Keeps on hand the largest and best assortment of Eastern and Man Francisco Boots and Shoos, Gaiters, Slippers, And everything in the Boot and Shoe line, and SELLS CHEAP FOR CASH. Boots and Shoes Made to Order, and Perfect Fit Guaranteed. I use the Best of Leather and Warran all my work. Rtpairing Neatly Done, on Short Notice. I keep always on hand TOYS AND NOTIONS. Musical Instruments and Violin Strings a specialty. LOUIS LAXGEXBEKG. DR. M. W. DAVIS, m DENTIST, It O S E B U It G, O R E G O Office On Jackson Street, Up Stairs, Over S. Marks k Co. a New more. MAHONEY'S SALOON, Nearest the Railroad Depot, Oakland. JAN. 3IAHOXEY, - - - Proprietor The Finest "Wines, Liquors and Cigars in Douglas County, and THE BEST BILLIARD TABLE IN THE STATE, KEPT IN PROPER REPAIR. Parties traveling on the railroad will find this place very handy to visit during the stopping of tti tram the Oakland Depot. Uive me a call. JAS. MAIIONEY. JOHN PHASER, Home Made Furniture, ' WILBUR, OREGON. UPHOLSTERY, SPMG MATTRESSES, ETC., Constantly on hand. FURNITURE. I have the Best STOCK OF FURNITURE South f Portlaud. And all of my own manufacture. Xo Two Prices to Customers. ReHidents of Douglas County ars requested to give m call before purchasing elsewnere. ALL WORK WARRANTED. DEPOT HOTEL, Oakland, Oregon. RICHARD THOMAS, Proprietor. This. Hotel has been established for a num ber of years, and has become very pop ular with the traveling public. FIRST-CLASS SLEEPING ACCOMMODATIONS AND THE Tabid mpplied with tb. Beat th Market afford Hotel at the Depot of th Railroad. H. C. STANTON, DEALER IX Staple Dry Goods, Keep constantly on hand a general assortment of Extra Fine Groceries, WOOD, WILLOW AND GLASSWARE,'- ALSO CROCKERY AND CORDAGE, A full stock of SCHOOL BOOKS, Such u required by the Public County Schools. All kinds of Stationer-, Toys Fancy Articles, TO HCIT BOTH YOl'N'O AND OLD. and Buys and Sells Legal Tenders, furnishes Cheeks on Portland, and procures Drafts on San Francisco. ! SEEDS! SEEDS ! ALL KINDS OF THE BEST QUALITY. A LI. ORDERS Promptly attended to and goods shipped with care. Address, IIAC1IEXY Si. BEXO, Portland, Oregon. The Oswego (N. Y.Y Manufaetur ihg Com pun v claims to have the largest lumber-vard in the United States, hav ing fifty million feet of lumber in stock. 1 he Philadelphia Ledger raises its voice against munching in public, on the streets or in the cars, a habit which it considers both annoying: and disgust- ing. especially in women. It is estimated the stoves in the United States are worth one hundred and eighty million dollars. They num ber about eight million. The people of this country use more stoves than all MY WIFE'S AWAY. what'g that pensation roun1 my heart Tl at feels as if I'd lot a part Of self, and makes my fcelinirs smart? My wite s away. What happy voice at rosy morn. On hiu-ik'Vwinjjr that occe was borne. Is missed, and things look so torlorni' My wife s away. What makes me have the bluest bluea, And Hit the world curse and abuec, And sulky melancholy c5ioo?a? m v wiie s away. What's vacant at the table-head. Where, anfrei-Jike, dispensing' bread, Bhe sat, and now a blank instead j My wiie s away. What ails my undergarment kit? Not one of them will rightly sit It drives me nearly In a tit. My wiie s away. The pocks not two of them will pair; The shirls not one'wituout n tear; The buttons, too, are never there. idy wire s away. The sooty servant now is boss, A n! turns hei; nose up with a toss, Ann looks nt me internal cross. My wife's away. What makes the evemnjrs seem so long1 And still asni'-rht, where once a sonjr Or music sweet charmed time alonsr? j My wife's away. My wife, Ood bless her anjrel face. And brbix her safe to my embrace I To me the empress of the race. iiy wiie s away. X. I, Journal. SHE CURED HIM. I , "You sire never going to marry Philo Mayburne !" It was a bright bay-windowed room with a ruby lire sparkling in the grate, and a table, well laden with work. drawn up beside its shine. And the prettiest, freshest, most attractive thing to look at in the whole scene was the Widow Glenn herself, stitching indns- triausly away at a strip of cambric ruf 11 i n r. i She was tall and well proportioned, with hair like brown satin flax, blue eyes and a complexion all pink and white, with the crimson bloom glowing beneath the transparent skin in a manual- that all the cosmetics on earth might strive vainly to stimulate; a woman it did one's heart good to look at in these days of artilieial falsity. Perhaps she': might have been thirty, but she did not look more than twenty- five; for Time, gruitold non comprom iser that he is, had dealt very gently with Josie Glenn. "Why shouldn't I marry Philo May burne?1' she asked quietly, as she bit off the end of her thread with teeth white and even as pearls. Mrs. Jonesbury groaned and gasped! "He's handsome, isn't he?" asLcd the widow. "I hain't I nothin' to say agin' his looks," croaked Mrs. Jonesbury. "And his principles and character arc beyond Teproaeh?" "Nobody denies it that I knows of!" unwillingly assented the elder matron. "He's certainly wll off!" went on Mrs. Glenn.' 44 Yes, he's rich, I s'pose, but " "But what?" "His temper, Josephine, his temper, if you must have it!" jerked out Mrs. Jonesbury. "He's as ugly as Cain and as; fault-findin' as old Pharoah iu the land o' Egypt; and all the world kuows that ho jis't fretted his first wife into the grave! ; "He won't fret me into the grave," 6aid Josie, sewing dilligently on. "How be you gwine to help your self?" asked Mrs. Jonesbury, with very evident incredulity. "O, 1 have, ways and means!" "Bur, Josie, you don't really love him?" ! "Yes, I do!" "With his temper?" "In spite of his temper. Mrs. Jones- bury. I see and esteem the good which lies unreclaimed beneath that upper 6tratum of acerbitv. Keep down the weeds and the flowers will grow in al most any nature." "It's dreadful easy talkin', " saidMrs. Jonesburv, with a dubious shake of her head. "But ve don't know what it is, Josephine Glenn, to be tied for life to a man that s torever grumbhn about nothin1!" i "Tfiere it is," said Josie. with a blue sparkle beneath her long brown eye lashes. "I ! mean to give him some thing to grumble about!" "I don't understand you!" "Don't you? Nererthcless " But at that instant a bevy of visitors wn,s ushered into the apartment, and Mrs. Jonesbury was forced to take her departure unenlightened as to the V idow Glenn s matrimonial policy. So Philo Mayburne put a wedding- ring: on .Josie Glenn's pretty plump fin ger and surrendered himself legally in to the keeping of that blue-eyed dame, little recking of the ordeal in store for him. "Mrs. Ma'vburne!" "Yes, Philo." It was one evening during their first week at home, afterAhe varied changes of the wedding tour, and the newly- made husband was stalking up and down the floor, with his hands in his pockets, a deepening wrinkle between his ''ows. "li . one minute after six o'clock!" "I see it is, said Josie, glancing up at the time-niece. "And dinner isn't ready. Is this your idea of punctuality?" The wife made no answer. "The fire sulking again. I do wish n in our servants would ever pay any at tention to the fire." Still Josie read on. "Mrs. Mavburne!" eiaculated the husband. "Well, my dear?" cooed Josie. "Why don't vou answer me?" "What shalfl say?" "Anything:, Mrs.'Mayburne." "Well, then, permit me to observe that I am ve'rv much interested in the book I am reading." Philo s brow grew dark: but he was stopped from further comment by the ringing of the dinner bell. "Ovster soup burned again," he growled, letting his spoon drop into the dish with a splash. "I think it is very nice," said Josie "And the beef roasted, when I told cook especially to have it boHed." "Iear me!" said Mrs. Mayburne "where is the difference?" "Difierence, ma'am difference!" barked Philo, ''enough difference to spoil my dinner, that's all." And. pushing back his chair, lie strode away from the table. Mrs. Mayburne stayed to finish meal and then sauntered into parlor, where her spouse sat glarin the tire. her the r at "Where are my slippers, Mrs May- "On the rug, close to dear." your feet, my "I don't want the slippers with the fox's head on, 1 want the slippers with the rosebuds and leaves. It's very strange a man can't take any comfort in his own house!" Josie rang the bell and ordered "rosebuds and leaves," but the next rock to split upon was the newspaper. "Where's my paper? Whats the reason a man can never find a japer when he wants it?" "Here it is, Philo, folded neatfy under the books," she responded. "And what is it under the bookb for! Why isn't it left where I can find it!" "If vou had looked around my dear -" "But I don't want to look around!" And Mr. Mayburne unfolded the sheet and began to read, his brows still ominously contracted, while Josie sat smiling beside him, her purpose shaping itself more and more definitely in her mind at every moment that the clock measured off with silvery tick. The next evening Mr. Mayburne came home rampant as usual. Tho sitting-room was dark and chilly as he stumbled in. "No light?" he demanded, queru lously. "What's the use of light?" pettishly asked his wife, who was reclining: on the sofa, under an embroidered afghan. "The fire has gone out half an hour ago." "The lire out!" Philo stood aghast. 44 But why didn't you have it kindled up ag-ain? "Everything: ffoc wrong," grumbled Josie, with a peevish elevation of her shoulders. "The kindlings were wet and the chimney smoked, and " "Well, well, my dear," said Philo, driven to trie unwonted task or conso lation, "I dare say it will be all right." "All wrong:, more likely," fretted Josie. "It is so trying;; and dinner isn't ready, although it's half past six, and the fruit hasn t come for dessert, and I'm so discouraged!" "We'll do without the fruit, then." "There's no other dessert." "My dear Josie.it isn't best to let little things fret you!" "I'll discharge the cook to morrow," said Josie, acrimoniously "O, no, dear! I wouldn't do that; she understands her business remark ably well." "She burned the oysters yesterday." "Only scorched 'em, that wai all!" "She is always behindhand with the meals." "Ori the contrary, my dear Josie, she is generally the soul of punctuality Where is my dressing-gow-n?" "I am sure I don't know," said Josie, spiritlessly. "That chambermaid makes a rule of putting things just where no body can hnd them "O, here it is, back of the door," said Philo, "just where she always hangs it. "Then why didu't you look there be fore you asked?" demanded the wife Mr. Mavburne found it convenient not to hear, but poked the fire diligently. 'I here you go, scattering ashes al over the velvet rug, said josie, tartly. Mr. Mayburne checked himself, and sat down shivering, in a rocking- chair. 1 wish you would stop creaking that chair, groaned his wife; "my poor nerves are all in a quiver. Why don t they send up dinner?" There's the bell now," said Philo, 'come jumping up with alacrity; "I don't think I care for any dinner, now that I have been kept waiting so long," said Mrs. Mayburne. "Now, my dear Josie, don't be un reasonable. I dare say they've got something very nice for us." The beefsteak was cold, the potatoes water-soaked and the turnips dried like mummies, while the bread was new and heavy. Mr. Mayburne opened his lips to complain, but Josie wras before hand with him. 'Mv goodness gracious she ejacu lated, with uplifted hands and eyes. '.such a dinner! Take me away, Philo; I can't eat a mouthful." "Just a little bit of the steak, dear it's very juicy." 'Not a particle!" said Josie, em phatically. "Sarah, tell the cook she may go to morrow. "My dear, my dear, pray consider "There's a chicken coming with bread sauce," suggested Sarah, with twinkling eyes. "Chicken and bread sauce the very think I detest of all others!" exclaimed Josie. "I am sure its very nice," said Philo; "see how savory it look. Let me give vou a wing and a little slice of the breast!" "It's burned to a crisp!" "Burned, my dear? Not a bit of it." "It's raw, then.-under the side!" "Do try it, Josie really 1 think it is delicious and here are some steaming baked potatoes." "No," said Josie resolutely, shaking her head: "mv dinner is spoiled that's enough." And she walked out of tho dining room precisely as her husband had done the night before. But Philo, less philosophical than his wife, rose and followed her. "Josie, dear," he said, hesitatingly, as she llounced down upon the sofa. "Well." "Aren't you just a little a little c-o-s?" "Am I?" "And unreasonable? A trifle so?' "Do vou reallv think, so, Philo?" "Yes." "oo do I. I am very cross and out rageously unreasonable!" The dimp'es hal come back to Josie's lips and the sparkle in her eyes. Philo looked bewildered. ff 1 ' "But, ray dear, what do you mean?" "Philo," said Mrs. Mayburne, calmly, "you have only been looking into a looking-glass." "Into a looking-glass, my dear?"" "Exactly so. During the last hour you have seen yourself as you appear to the world. How do you like the re llection?" She laid her hand lightly on his shoulder as she spoke. Philo May burne sat stroking his whiskers medita tively, without answering. Am 1 really as disagreeable as that?" he asked presently. "Yes, quite!" "I hadn't any idea of it!" "Because you have never seen your self as others see vou." Another silence ensued, and then Mr. Mayburne spoke again. "Josie, nobody shall ever see me again in that light!" Philo Mayburne kept his word, and to this day Mrs. Jonesbury has never left off wondering what mysterious agency wrought such a marvelous' change in the spirit of Philip May burne s dream. "tor he am t like the same man, no more, he ain't!" truthfullv observed Mrs. Jonesbury. Boston Budget. Some Observations. "This is the editor, is it?" "Yes, sir, it is." 'Well, now, Mr. Editor, I'll tell you what I m going to do. I'm introdu cing the 'Morning Star' brand of coffee among your merchants here, and if yon'U give me your address, I'll send j two pounds of the 'Morning Stat' to your house. I want your wife to serve you with a cup of it, and after vou've tr'ed it, you may hist say what you please about it in v'our paper." The editor, of course, earns with happiness. The prospective donation of two pounds of choice coffee is enough to make any editor happy. Unfortu nately, however, his family i3 away for the season, and he replies: "ii you had just as soon, suppose you send that coffee up to the business , manager's house. Here he comes, I'll introduce you," and having done so. the observer settled down to hard work. He would have introduced the philanthropist to the business manager anyhow. It is a rule in tho Mail ofllce that all philanthropists shall be intro duced to the business manager. The representative of the 'Morning Star' coffee tells his story very grace fully to the business manager. "I'm going to send two pounds of our superb corlee up to your house, The business manager has met phi lanthropists betore. "Two pounds of coffee," he replies; "how much is the coffee a pound r "Thirty-five cents." "All right; my house is number 2,232 nlank street. Send up your coffee. Here's seventy cents." "I beg your pardon," says the phi lanthropist; "l m going to give you the coltee, and "But I don't want you to give me the coriee. l m able to pay for it." "Yes, yes, I know that; but you know I expect you to reciprocate by saving .what you think about the 'Mornin Star' in your paper." "Then you want me to give you some thing, do your no; i sirapiy expect vou to say "We usually trade on a cash basis," the business manager responds, "but let's see, two pounds of coffee will be worth seventy cents; three lines of local seventy-five cents; you owe a bal ance of five cents; it will be very hard 'work to get very much of a notice into 'threelines, but we'll close tho deal if you say so." The philanthropist, for some reason icouldn t dispute the newspaper finan cier's business logic, but still he could .hardly comprehend why his generosity was looked upon in such a coldly prac- tit-ti manner as uie ousiness man ap plied to it. He succumbed, however. and concluded that he wouldn't send the coffee at all, but would make a con tract for advertising in cash. Ihe philanthropic scheme of the coffee man, analyzed in a busiuess manner, was everv whit as business like as it would be on the part of a newspaper man to step into a mercan tile establishment and say to the pro pnetor: "nere, l am going to send you my paper for three months; after you have read it you may give me just as many dollars' worth of dry goods in return as you think us deserving of." Peculiar ideas are entertained re garding the newspaper business. More ridiculous propositions are made to newspaper publishers than to any other class or business men existing. JNot long ago a Texas man wrote the Mail a letter saying that he would appreciate the publication of the "inclosed item of general interest," and that if the publisher would send him a marked copy of the paper and advertising rates, would be pleased to send them cash advertising when he needed it. The item oi general interest " was an advertisement. lno publishers re plied that if he would kindly send them fifteen dollars in cash as a gift and the rates on any money he might have to loan, they would be pleased to borrow of him whenever the occasion arose. And wny snouid such absurd propo sitions be made? Simply because the newspaper proiession has educated a good proportion of the public into the idea mat a donation to an editor or a lifteen cent, box of strawberries, or a peck of fresh vegetables, is as accept able as a thousand dollar gold piece would be to an ordinary man. The coffee man above referred to, after the conversation had concluded, laughingly and frankly added: "That's all right -it s business but we catch lots of 'em!" Des Moines Sunday Mail. A new danger threatens society, and it comes in the shape of the bicy cle. 1 he bicycle is almost noiseless on a o-rnl ninil nnd vnnnor mnn rlriwinrr their sweethearts would do well to keep a sharp eye in the rear, as some very funnv tilings have been witnessed bv wheelmen riding behind buggies. I heard how one wheelman rode behind ?i hnctrv for smnfi distance, nnitfl nn- nr.' ' i devilled as to whether the pretty girl in the buggy, all dressed in white, had a blaek sash on or not. He trie the experiment of riding close up and blow ing his whistle, and the black girdle disappeared as if by magic. She was Wearing a coat sleeve with an arm in it. Letter in St. Louis Spectator. An unio oarsman has been ar a M ' i rested for making counterfeit money. He should remember it is one thing to forge ahead on a boat, but quite an other to forge a head on a $10 bill. - Yonkcr's Statesman. Scorpions and Centipede. Frequently though the scorpion is met with, yet a sting from one is rare. An instance coming within my observa tion was that of my 'chowkeedar, who had been stung during the night while asleep on his mat in a corner of the veranda where the reptile had evidently dropped down from above. I was awoke by a loud "bapre-bap" and the very familiar "sapkatdyia" ("Father, oh, father, a snake has bitten me!") and, on going to the spot with a light, we discovered the assailant to be, not a snake, but a scorpion, which was stand ing motionless in the corner, still angrily curving its tail a discovery which afforded unspeakable relief to the chowkecdar, who had thought his last hours were come, and who now with folded hands and upturned e'es devoutly acknowledged his escape in the exclamation: "Dohai Ram Ji, ian buchgaia" ("Mercv, oh, Kara, my life is spared!"). He had pressed upon the reptile, no doubt, while turning round, and had been stung on the arm, which rapidly swelled to a great size, accom panied by pain so excessive as to cause a feeling of f aintness. V ith his mind, however, relieved from the "worst," he soon set about collecting herbs from the compound and garden, under the application of hot mashes of which the pain gradually subsided, and, along with the swelling, disappeared in a couple of days. Being curious to watch the habits oi the scorpion, I placed one under a glass case along with a grasshopper two inches long, whose sharp-spiked legs constituted its strong natural de fense. For awhile the scorpion took no notice of the wild leaps of his com panion, though every now and again it struck against him iu rebounding from the glass cover, but at length, irritated by the continuance of these, it assumed the offensive. After several unsuccess ful clutches, he managed to seize with his toes a leg of the grasshopper, which he held in his jaws, while endeavoring to transfix him with his sting, till he succeeded in driving it through and through him. The leaps of the grass hopper now speedily grew feebler, and soon he lay motionless and dead. Foi twenty-four hours the scorpion took no further notice of his companion, and then, pressed by hunger, he bethought himself of hiraj and speedily devoured him. Like the scorpion the centipede also seems partial to grasshoppers, when it can get them. An enormously magni fied copy as it is of tho little home centipede, the sight of one five or six inches loug, with its multitude of pre hensile feet all moring at once, and its long feelers steering its way, causes an involuntary creeping of the llesh. Once while reclining on a sofa perusing daily paper after mid-day breakfast, preparatory to "turning in" for the customary siesta, 1 was surprised by a thumping against a newspaper which was lying in a corner of the room, and the continuance of the sound induced me to lump up to ascertain the cause, suspecting, of course, a snake and frog l he raising or the paper disclosed a centipede of about five inches long, holding in its jaws a large grasshopper, which he was quietly hollowing out without the least regard to the frantic kicks of his victim, which had cca- sioncd the noise against the paper, Nor did he seem disposed to relinquish so choice a morsel, but allowed himself to be turned over and over without even relaxing his hold, and as the grass hopper could not physically recoup his loss, I let the devourer continue, till in a quarter of an hour only the shell re maincd, and only then did the dimin lsiung kicks or the grasshopper cease altogether. On another occasion, in the hot month of May, during my morning ablu tions, while raising the sponge to my race, l was met by the near view oi an ugly pair of horns, followed by a head emerging from one of the pores. Not an instant too soon, I dropped it down a jain on the basin stand, upon which the full length of a hideous centipede gradually unwound itself, Such are instances of the way these reptiles are come upon now and again in India, generally wnen and where least expected, and showing tho wari ness people require to practice in every movement, even in lifting a book or paper, qv putting tho hand anywhere where the eye does not also reach. Ihe bite of the centipede is rarely heard of, but it is more or less poisonous, and like the sting of the scorpion, is consid sidered serious to children. All the Year Round. ihe ireasury JJepartment has in its rogues' gallery photographs of 3,000 counterfeit makers and "shovers These persons are of all ages, from the child of fourteen to the gray-haire sinner of seventy. They represent every nationality, even to the African and the heathen Chinee. Tho latter, indeed, are much more numerous than -might be expected. Those thrifty pagans are perhaps the most expert imitators in the world, and they stand at the head of the class in the production of base coin. Many women are engaged as "shovcrs." Washington Post. A cab driver in Paris was recently engaged at the Champ3 Elysees by a lady who, after making him drive all over the city for nearly six hours, finally alighted in the Faubourg Mont- martre, and told him she "had been un able to find her son. The driver at once demanded his fare, but was told that she did not possess a cent He then invited her to ride again, and drove directly to the nearest police sta tion, when it was found that the woman was insane. The Lutheran Church of Finland is, for the moment, bishopless its three chief pastors having died within a few months of one another. The first clergyman elected to the episcopal of ffco will have to go to Sweden for con secration. . The newest thing in weddings, in augurated at the Reed wedding, New York, is to send invitations and cards to Queen Victoria and the nobility of Europe. It is extremely "tony," and it costs nothing but the postage. N. Y. Graphic. During the last five years New Yorkers in Paris purchased" $7,882, COO worth of paintings. N. Y. Graphic. The Stage Coach In New York' City. When the railroad car took the place of the slow stage-coach, it deprived travel of most of its pleasures. One sees but little -of the country as he is whirled rapidly through it amid noise and dust. There is no way in whi.h scenery can be so well enjoyed, as from an outside seat of a stage-coach. The moderate rate of speed allows all the beauties of the scene to be appreciated, and the changes of the road present an ever-varying panorama. Then tho stage-coach allowed of social enjoy ment, and chat and stories made the time pass pleasantly. What a contrast between the tavern, where the stage- passengers stopped for dinner, and the present railway station with its "five minutes lor refreshments: ' mere is so much that is pleasant and enjoyable in travel by stage that wealthy gentle men in New York City and vicinity not long .go formed a coaching club, each member of which had a "coach and four." There are now many members of the club. Each has a coach made in the best possible style. The body of each and the running gear is painted in a ditlerent style from the others. Ihe horses are carefully selected, and have the most complete harness and trap pings. The coaches have seats for six upon the roof, besides a place for the "giKird, who with hi3 horn announces the arrival of the coach. The driver is usually the owner of the coach, and there is no little friendly rivalry among the members over their skill in "hand ling the ribbons." A parade of the coaching club is something well worth seeing, and the club makes occasional excursions to more or less distant points. On one occasion its members, or a part of thcra, drove to Philadel phia and back, by the stage-route fol owed be 'ore the days of railroads. One member of the club is so enthusiastic a coachman that he runs a daily coach between one of the hotels of this city and a point in the suburbs. He takes passengers at a round price, and thus allows those who are not -mem bers of the club to en'oy the pleasures of this mode of traveling, Si) nomilnr is thn Tn.llv.rin Cnnnh ih.at places are engaged many days ahead. The passenger oy the coach leaves the city by that beautiful gateway, Central Park, and sees the city melt gradually into ihe country. His road takes him past beau .iful villas as well as primitive farm houses. liis senses are soon salute;! by the refreshing sea air, and he arrives at his destination prepared to do justice to the ample dinner that awaits him. His destination is Pelham Bay, one of the most charming spots upon Long Island Sound.- He here ex changes the varying scenes and sights of the roa 1 for one of tranquil beauty The bluo waters of the Sound stretch out in front of him, and the many sail ing craft go lazily by, their quiet" being ins: range contrast to the fussy little steamer that occasionally passes. After a few bonis of rest at Pelham Bay the homeward journey is commenced, and the passenger enjoys the same scene in the light of the declining sun, and reaches the starting point just as gas lights and electric lamps are replacing the daylight, refreshed by the novel mode of travel and the change of air and scene. "But," some may say. "it is very expensive." So it is, but unlike many of the amusements of the wealthy, every dollar expended by tho Coaching Club helps some one. The coach maker, the painter, the harness maker, and many other trades are ben efited, and even the farmer, who breeds stage horses, has their value in creased by what some regard as the ex travagance of the Coaching Club. Americ in Agriculturist. Billy's Invention. Billy Longhead, who lives out on Dayton bluff, has been closely engaged the past two years on a contrivance to check runaway horses. Last week he brought his scheme to a head and cele brated the affair by taking his best girl out for a drve. lie had placed one of his inventions on the wagon for the Eur pose of showing his girl how long is head wfas and how quickly he could bring a horse to terms if he took a notion to run away. The invention is simple, being a reel round which a fine linked and very strong chain is wound. The chain runs under the horse and is attached to the bit. The reel has cog wheel connection with the wagon wheel, and is thrown into gear by a little lever that runs up into the w agon. The day was large. The sun shone. the birds sang, the rivulets rivled and as Billy and his girl rode along through the country, happy m each other s love, they planned and schemed how they would have their house arranged and grounds laid out when Billy's wonder ful invention should fill his coffers with gold. Everything seemed bright. The prospect was brilliant and lunch coun ters and box cars occupied a very hazy back ground in the picture which Billy had painted of the future. They were going down hill. The wagon was boosting the grape arbor that was drawing it along at a pretty lively ga t. Now was a goodoppcrtu nity for Billy to prove tho value of his invention, He whipped the horse into a run, which was not hard work as he was going down hill. At last when they were moving through space at the rate of seventeen miles sn houi Billy smiling on his lady whispered "Now we 11 stop, hang on; just at this point he shoved tho lever, the reel com menced to pull in the chain at the rate of one thousand miles an hour; the horse was going one way while the clvin was coming the other. This state of affairs lasted about eight seconds, when the horse and chain both came the same way and the wagon with its occupants continued to proceed through the air. Somehow things got mixed. Billy got bewildered, his girl got tangled up among the wheels of the buggy, and the ho se seemed to be frying to kick himself back to town. When Billy had excavated his eyes he went on a relie l . m l expedition ior nis gin: ne iouna her in several places, but managed to get her together so he could recognize her and found that with the exception of a few hair and much of nose, she was all present A very low temperature has sprung up between Uilly ana the girL and he hasn t been able to prove that he, didn't put up a scheme on her to get her out of the way so that he might tie to another female on the other side of the river. St. Paul Eerald, A Corn-Hnsking Festival. How vividly to all those of us who were born in the country comes the re membrance of husking-time. We- waited for it as the gala-day of the. year. It was called a frolic. The treesi having for the most part shed their foliage, the farmers waded through the fallen leaves and came through the keen morning air to the gleeful com pany. The frosts which had silvered everything during the night began to melt off of the top of the corn-shocks. WThile the farmers were waiting for others, they stood blowing their breath through their fingers or ashing their, arms around their body to keep up warmth of circulation. Roaring mirth greeted the late farmer as he crawled, over tho fence. Jokes and repartee and rustic salutations abounded. All ready, now! The men take hold of the shock of . corn and hurl it prostrate, while the moles and mice which have secreted themselves there for warmth attempt to escape. The withe of straw is unwound from the corn-shock, and the stocks, heavy with the wealth of grain, are rolled into bundles, between, which the husker sits down. The husk-ing-peg is thrust in until it strikes, and then the fingers rip off the sheathing ot the ear, and there is a crack as the root of the corn 13 snapped off from the! husk, and the grain disimprisoned is hurled up into the sunlight. The air is so tonic, the work is so exhilarating,; the company is so blithe, that some, laugh, and some shout, and some sing,! and some banter, and some tease a neighbor for a romantic ride along the edge of the woods in eventide in a car riage that holds but two, and some prophesy as to the number of bushels to the field, and others go into compe tition as to which shall rifle the most corn-shucks before sundown. After a: while the dinner-horn sounds from the farrn-hou3e, and the table is surrounded by a group of jolly and hungry men. From all the pantries and cellars and perches of fowl on the place the richest dainties come, and there is a carnival' and neighborhood reunion, and a scene, which fills our memory, part with; smiles, but more with tears, as we re member that the farm now belongs to other owners, and other hands gather in the fields, and many of those who mingled in that merry husking scene have themselves been reaped "like as a shock of corncomethin his season." Dr. Talmtge, in Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine. A-"Very Hot Taxpayer. " Is this the United States Weather Bureau?" exclaimed an excited indi vidual in a melted collar and hot-as-blazes frame of mind, rushing into the United States Signal Service ollice on the corner of Wood street and Fifth avenue last Wednesday. Yes, sir; this is an office of the bureau, replied the gentleman in charger O, it is, is it," sarcastically ex "It cla med the perspiring individual is a part of the institution, is ltr it's a swindle! A barefaced Well, swin sir, dle on the taxpaying citizen, sir! That is what it is, sir!" And the hot man grew so terribly hot that his face looked liKe a Dioom just reaoy ior me squeez ers. "I do not comprehend you, sir," re plied the signal-service officer, with dignity. U, you don t, don t your lou don't comprehend me? O, no, of course not. Certainly, you don't. That; ain't what we taxpayers pay out our. money for, to be comprehended. What did your bureau promise Saturday? Didn't you S3y a cold wave was on its way here, and that it would reach us, Sunday, and the weather would be cool er, didn't your ' "Well, sir, what if we did?" "What if vou did! Of course von. did. You know vou did. You can't deny it. Where is it?" " l m sure 1 do not know," returned the official abruptly. "We do not ar range the weather. " You don t! Why, what are we tax payers getting for our money, then?" exclaimed the hot man. The b. reau simply furnishes me teorological information relative to the state of the weather," answered the of ficial, with dignity. 44 Information! lireat Scotland, do you think a man has to be shoveled into a blast-furnace before he knows it s hot? Do you mean to say we taxpay ers support this bureau to tell us what the thermometer is when our shirt-col lars are running into our boots? If you can't regulate the weather, what are you for i A blind mule with his taT broke off Knows when it s hot and cold without you telling us. What are we taxpayers getting for our money?" and the wild man turned himself out on the sidewalk, red, hot, hissing globule oi wrath. Pittsburgh Chronicle. Boston and New York. As the car swung into Madison ave nue from Forty-second street two ladies got aboard. One of them wore glasses and that intellectual contraction of tho eyebrows peculiar to the ladies of the Hub. With the true Uoston instinct she began talking about book3 and authors.. "You have read 4 Jane Eyre' of course?" said her companion. 44 On, yes," said the intellectual lady from Boston; 44 1 have read all her works and like them so much." The other lady coughed behind her handkerchief and then asked, wiih a twinkle in her eye: 44 Have you ever read any of Daniel Deronda's "novels?" " ies. indeed," said the Boston lady, 44 all of them. But do you know I think he is almost too analytical?" 44 How do you li' c Adam Bede's writ ings?" asked the New Yorker. 44 Oh, tbey are lovely. But don't you think they are a little shallow?" 44 1 have never read them," said the other, behind her fan. The lady" from Boston cast a look of pity on her illiterate companion and the two got off the car at Sixty-first street Ar. Y. Herald. "I beg your pardon, madam," said a gentleman, liftfng his hat politely to a richly dressed woman on the street, "but your face is strangely familiar to me. I am sure that I have met you be fore." "Yis, Misther Jones," replied the richly dressed woman, "it's meself that knows ye. Y. Graphic. Oi'm vour cook. N the rest of the world together.