ROSEBUR OIEG-OlSr. SATORDAY, SHPIi. 14, 1878,-
W. II. WILLIS,
- r.nd Counselor at Law.
bur, Oregon
aurant
r.c:23ur.o, oitEOCtf,
CHAMPAGNE, Propnc
. If ErsUcUsa house ia Rose bug
ti-t
,:r.v.mi
-P.'0SI3IlliAIL
. to..,
Tli9 Cat badwate dealer in Umpqaa
Valley, ia the Brick Building,
A3 RECEIVED. AND IS NOW REs
ceivl 2 j caa i.f the most complete
t CCi.8 ci . .
iLOR&OniGB
-UUUililiUi
STOVES, VA-A:
Cf the IIt Improved Patterns ever re
. ceived in this city.
AsiJ tc.idei has the most complete stock of
:1A Qzz.cr'ali Hardware, y'
Aal mnuf ictures everything la the line of
TIN, SIIKET-IRQN & COFPEEWARE
Is a wo :k!imatilike manner, and on most
reosonsbla terms.
Iron, Steel and Hails
Always on hand, and in" qa nlitiea to suit.
ITotico '
. .a
O! Sle in tie matter of the estate of Laren !
Davis..
"."rYiTr3 ; tq TTtT-'p'Si'Tiv- rjivrrv TttiT
hy the County Court of Donplas County
Oregon, I wi'll on the fifth day of October
A. 1., 1878, at ohh oclock in th afternoon
at the Court boase door, in Roaeburg
Dulas County, Oregon, sell at public
auction, for cash in hand to the highest
bidder, subject to widow's dower, the nils
lowing described real estate ' belonging to
"tha Eatat of Laren Davis, deceased, to-wit.
The Donation Lmd Claim of Robert Mc
V9 onniainnty 110 anA ftOth orrnB- nil
.V.. maw. T K j f rn atiitn T.nn1 statin rtf
Kcbrt Phipps, that lies nor.k of the South '
lTmMit.riTn wintniinniT lvfl BCTca ninrrt nr i
liea the S H quarter of ec 28, Frac N E
quarter of St 34, N VV quarter, rac S W
quarter and N half of S K quarter, N VV
quarter of J E quarter of Sac J$i..VV. half of
13 half and N K qu irte of N 5B quarter of
Bee 27 of T 28, 8 of R 6, W of Wiliaraettee
meridian, oontaining 032 and 18 100th
acres and cotvaining iu the aggregate 1,
01 and 40 lOOih acres mrre or less, j All
ot said : lnd b eing Bit na ted in Douglas
Coanty, Oregon. FRANK DAVIS.
Administrator of the estate of La; en
Daris, deceased. ".
Rosebtjeo, Ogn., Sept. 2, 187d
P0 UNDSY
AND MACHINE HOP,
B.-F. DRAKE, PROPRIETOR,
SALEM,' 3REOON
" f TEAM l, rSuirsi!iS,SAV allLLS.UKIST
Iw Mills, Ilea pent, Pumps, and ftll kinds
and styles of Machinerym&de to order. Ma.
ehinenr repaired at a short notice. Pattern
- making done in all its various forms, and
all kinds of brass snd iron castings fur-
ciahed at short notice. Also manufacturer
t cf I3aterprif e Planer and Matcher, and
Cisiekers and Sharpers.
IIOTICI!.
Placer Mining.
U. S. Lasd Office, )
ROSEBTJKG, OB.f r
TTOTICE 13 HEREBY (J1VEN THAT
Xa D. A. Levens, whose postoffice ad
draia is ; Canyonville, Douglas county,
State of Oregon, has made application for
patent for place- claim; io. 37, in the
Ureen Mouotai . Mining District, Bituated
la Douglas c unty, Oregon, on unsurveyed
lands describi as follows : Beginning at
the junction cf Brandy Gulch with Hogaui
erf ; k 89 the iaitlftl point; thence N. 2 dfr
gti: .-a, 3 minutes, 6.50 chains, to a yew
pest 3 feet long and 4 inches in diameter,
marked on four Bides, -M. 5.," also "C,"
and "Z7" set for N. E. orner claim as post
No, 1. thence S, 8.50 chains to pott No. 2;
. thence S. 20 degrees W 10.50 chains to
post No. 8;, thence S. 19 00 chains to pot
Na
4; thence S. 16 degrees E 10 00 chains
to post No. 5; thence S 30 degrees E 6 55
chains to post 6; thence W. 3-64 chains to
post Ho, 7; thence N. 80 degrees W 5.55
chains to post 8; thenae N 16 degrees VV
10.00, chains to post 9: thence N. 19.00
chains to post No. 10; thence N 20 dejtrefs
li 10.50 chains to post No. 11; thence N.
8.50 chains to post No. 12: thence E 3.74
chains to post No. 1; being the above de
ciribed yew pos2d.. initia point of b
ginsing and containing twenty acres ac
cording to plat of survey filed in the Regx
Ister's ofSce by Surveyor General ot the
Ctateof Oregon.
The foregoing described claim of D. A,
Levensis of recoid; the said applicant, D,
A Levens, having acquired the said claim
by purchase from John Stephens, who pur
chased the same from Joseph iiamsey, the
original locator: all of which is a matter
of record in tho recorder's office of Douglas
county, Oregon; and now known as "D.A.
Leven's Placer Mining Claim," joined o
the east, south and wvst oy unsurveyed
-Government land, and on the north by
ground clai n-ed by L. D. Montgomery. -
All adverse claims must be died in the
Unitwl States Iaod Office at Roseburg,
OregoD, on or before the expiration of this
notice. ItH hereby ordered that the above
eoUcw bo -published for rixty days in the
Douglas Independent, a wek!y news
paper published at Ruselurg, Oiegon. '
Given uudt'f mr hand this 5th of Au
ait, 1873. "W. F. BENJAMIN,
lt ister.
HOGS.
Thete are now ruunuig on my place
black Lofis, cropped n boh ears, and
a pp5it in one ear. Fames must come
forward, ray c'lar'S, or I wil sll then to
pay dnijiaes- JOHN BRUCK3 Ei.
On Fletu Owens sarin northwest of
THE BAD 3IAN OF BODIE.
Washoe Pete was generally
considered a "bluffer'- by the crit
ics of Dodie. and his wild exagger
ations were the subject of merir
ment only in that high old town.
He was., allowed to swagger and
boast to his heart's content ; and,
even when j he drew: his "nobby
whistler" and shot the lights oat
of all the lamps in Ryan's saloon
the action onlyeyokddrin and
the doubtful compl imenU that it
was "putty fair sbootm', an' , nigh
as stiddy narve as Irish Tom
showed when he popped away i&t
that 'bad man' from Deadwood..
One day last summer Pete walk
ed into StrobridgeV saloon with
the remark that he,had 'heerd the
Last Chance was goin to be sold,
and they've sent up an expert to
ltok iuto it." ,
The expert, a pale, small man,
dressed in - gray, was standing at
the bar, and looked around as the
tall would-be ruffian uttered these
words.
"Thet'seo, Pete' said one of
the men present an' thot's the ex
pert, pointing to the email man.
You'r an expert, I eh 2 shouted
Pete, eying the man menacingly;
iyoa'rfc jiiqo tl.em fellers as allows
i.. i . .:. - . 9
Then, after a pause, during which
he surveved the stranger from
head to toot Well ye're the wustl
ever saw. Experts is bad enough
but you'r the slinkiest, meanest,
wust coot to set yersclf up to re-
port on a mine I ever laid eyes on.
j - 1 don't want to quarrel with
Q gir atl!jweretl tJ,0 eXD3rt.
7 ......... . . r .
. Ye'd better not, young feller,
ye'd better not. Iiti a whirlwind
of the desert iu a fiht.; and don't
ye forget it.
I'm a man ot peace ; I carry no
weapons, aud of course I could not
hope to stand before even a ze
phyr Qf the desert let alone a
wild, untamed whirlwind.
These deprecatory words only
incensed the 'bad man still more;
and, feeling that he had a 'solt
thing,', proposed iu his own mind
to 'play it for all it was worth!'
and gain a ; 'record' by fwhiping
his man.' i
Look a hyar, stranger, I don't
want no insinu. t'ons. Do I look
like a zephyr ? Say ! Here
Washoe Pete shook his fist in the
exbort's face. What d'ye mean
by talkin' about zephyrs? I'm a
tornado. I tear when I turn loose.
Zephyr ! Sneering. Why I've a
g od mind to - ,
Please, mighty whirlwind, re
sistless tornado, don't hit ' me.
You wouldn't stnke a consump
tive man, would you 1
Wouldn't I ? yelled the fighter,
in a terfible voice, wouldn't 1 1
I'd strike the side, of a mountain!
But a sick man pleaded the ex-
pert.a man dying of consumption,
an orphan, a stangerand a man of
peace ! .
What re ve giring me ? Do you
know who I am ? fiercely demand
ed the whirlwind.
You're a gentleman known in
Bodie as Mr. i Washoe Pete at
least, Pve heard you designated
by that familiar appellation during
my sojourn here, answered the
exprrt, moving off..
What els am I! shrieked the
rough, striding toward the cower
ing expert.
v A gentleman, l suppose. Jtlons
cstly, I do not-know your other
name.
"Well, I'll tell you who I am,
and the tall man stcod over the
shrinking stranger, as if about to
topple upon him and annihilate
him. I'm bad ; I'm chief in this
yer camp, an 'I km lick the man's
says I ain't. I'm a ragm lion o'
the plain?, an1 every time I hit I
kill. I've got an arm like a qoartz
stamp, an' I caush when I reach
fur a man, 1 weuch a on, an
psrthntinke ain't nowhar when I
drot !
But Tve only been discharged
from a hospital" rei liel the export.
pit send ye back agin ! and the
etaUvart bhitier caught the little
man by the collar and hurleu htm
aq upon the. floor.
It's unkind to use a tioor, weak,
sintering invalid that way,expost
ulated the expert, a3 he s!owly
rose from the floor. Please dou
toke so ronsrhlv. Let's take a
drink and cajl it square. I am
very sorry that 1 have oitended;anit a sandbag.
you. .
You think I'm jokin do ye-ye
iaKe me ior a josh, en t x il show,
ye what I am aiore I git through
wuii ye. le uon't play me tnr uo
tendertoot. I'm a native. I am.
an Pre stood : this toolm long
enough Saying which, be dash-
ed the stranger against a table and
drew a long knite. v - .
As soon-as the expert saw tms and there's a couple more, -,)
he screwed x)fa face into the jnosr With these wurda , the expert
piteous shape, andV throwing, his cornered tn the bad man's cheek
bands' up, cried 'il I'm unarmed ; Ijand then stretched ..him panting
haven't got so much as a pen-knife for breath on -the floor with a
on me. Please don't carjve me ; stinger straight from the IshouU
kick me; to death if you must Jder, inflicted upon the lower por
have niy lite, but, (for iieaven's : tion of the chest. . Then the ex
sake, don-t stick tat jterriblo pert cooly called all hands, to the
thing into me. ; - j bur to dnuk, and .as the b:id tnai
Now, as" Washoe Pete had no ' of Bodie.. crawled away he was
inteMtion of useiuir the knife ana j
thereby risking the tender mercies
of a Mouo jury's verdict t-he was
well pleased witli the opportunitv
thus afforded him of displaying
the deedly weapon, and, after as
serting his bloody intention, i es
turned it to its sheath. He flour
jsbotl the knife over the cringing
expert three or tour times, and
then lowered it with. the i remark:
Why durn yer cowdardly Isoul, I
.wouidn't disgrace the weapon by
shovin- it into ye. No, sir;
out 1 11 plug ye ; and he Jdrew a
revolver
I' ra u n a rm ed , I'm u n a rm ed
don't ye hear ? wnined the bxpert.
Go an' heel yerselt then, Iretort
tho 'bad man.'
- I don't want to fight.
Fll make ye figHt. ' 111 ake ye
at yer? word and kick you to'deaih.
Please don't. i
Washoe Pete laid his knife and
pistol on the counter. au4 then
strode rapidly to tho spot where
the expert tvas half crouching,
halt standing. By this time the
saloon was full of men, all o them
smiling at the picture before them,
regarding it as the height ol mer
riment tin. lively encounter be
t wee n t h e grea t est brggadoci o in
the tiieries and a small, patel min-
: ... . . ... a. ... a. j
a stranger to the wild ways of the!dnven lhe wllole year rund by
nig expert, new to tue section auu
border ruffians.
This thing has gone on about
long enough, yelled the 'bad man'
stoping before the expert. You've
been chiunit;' to me till I'm jrlled.
Sqnar' yerself I'm goin' ter dick
an a Comstock mnle am't a patch
in as a kicker to Wahoe Pete, an'
you hear me. '
One instant, please, Peter (I
don't know your other name); are
you sure you've got no other veap
ons on you ? They might go ofi
accidentally and hurt some
ceut party.
Thar's the only weepin I'y got,
ef the inform ttion will ease yer
sneakin' mind, an uow l'm'goin
ter begin kickiuV Clear tho track!
The woolly hoss has broke Out o
the kerral, an' there'll be a Oaro-
ner's inquest in about seven imin
utes. "
He raised his ponderous
but it did not 6wing.
boot,
The little man straighteueji up
like an unuent bow, and his left
hand shot direct from theshuh der
like the piston ot a locomotive,
striking Washoe Pete between;"'8 ai ce 3 cyQmea its umne
the eyes, and sending that wdrthy
sprawling on tne sawaustcoverea
f00Tt .
I'm the cyclone ot the West, he:"nen ew wie,.as in,e most im
outed, as he bounded to the. Portant se.ePter lfl Christendom.
shontftd
prostmre form otthe vvooiiy hoss
and raised the braggart into a sit
ting posture. The latter was paz
ed by the terrible blow he had re
ceived. and did, not even throw up
his guard wheu the expert drew
back to strike again. 'J hen; the
blows fell like thunderbolts upon
the head and face, and the 'whirl
wind' induced that individual to
rise once more and attt mpt af de
tense. He made an effort! to
reach his Weapons, but the active
expert flanked him and planted
two terrific blows on his ear;and
ueclc. lhenthe'tnid man howled:
Letup! 1 was only foolU!
carAyer take fake a joke, (fern
y'J . J
xe thiiiK im jokin, ao yof; ye
ye what I am before I get through
with ye. 1-tu a ntivtj, au' f'vu
sioa irns ver toonu oout ipng'
euougn.
T 7 x i r f !
tipu i v.f v' vi vtivu a a,u va iu t u
speech.
I give in, dern je, I gave
m!
Can't ye take a man's wheu
he
squeals; shouted the tornado
he swung his arms vnldy,
kni
statrireritiir airains-t the tar in
his
iifiui is
dolire
the lightning
strokes ot the uthtetis expeit.
I'm a huwling hurricane
wrath, shorn ed the expert seizing
in hnth fists, with terrific effect.
Let, ud ' won't won't you? 1
I Not much, yon're a 'r agin lion
of the plains. And a swift left-
bander lit on the buIJy 6 nose.
Come on with your quartz, old
wholly hoss. When you nityrj
kill, and vou weisrh a ton. Fete
in a couple of your earthquakes,
Why don't you chew - my mane?
You're chief, are you? Ail: right,
chief, there's a neat one tor you,
heard to mutter that he didn't lay
out to tall up against a battering
ram, no more'n he .iovvea4 he. was
game in fi ont of- a hullf gymua
siuru, ,1
The Astonihsed Englishman.
' A young Enghshmai! stopped
at a taveru in Nashvilli, Teno.,
where he; got into conversation
with a native Teunesseau. As
uauai; he boasted ot everything
Euglish in compar'Hon with Yan
kee products. .He said -it was
not uncommon to see English
cheese weighiug a thousand
pounds.
"Pooh, said the Tennft3sedn,my
father keeps .a .diary t miles
frjm, here,.and supplies all the
large taverns. , He never thinks
of making cheese ot less weight
than a tou each; .
"You can't put that joke, on
me, said the JSuglishraan laughs
"Ask the laudlord." . v
The landlord, thus applied to,
replied: . . '
"I never, weighed his cheese,
but Tknow that, the old man runs
ai the bottom 1 of' thyr hill -hi a
place, two aw mills, wbich are
the whey which runs from his
cheese press! . ...
"Will you be so kind as to or
der up rny horse," quietly re
marked the Englishman.
Lord Baconsfleld.
What a marvelous man is this
Disraeli! Son ot a proscribed
and reviled race; his" ance&toi s
banned for their re!igion,aud their
j money, and their property c'!1"
jnno-,fi8cated and themselves declared
outlaws; , himself a poor senvner
and living by his wits, scribbling
for th.papers, writing noveU, the
butt and jest of his as80ciate8,and
the contempt ot the 'men who ar
the time governed England now
standing on the throne, handing
to his, imperial mbjesty a new ti
tie and new crown - studded with
Oiiental jewels, and offering with
odd nonchalance to give Jerusa
lem to the Pope; that Christians
may again kiss the altars where
Ltne worshipped, woere
, UU1T, r, 1S ura"
."..ri.---
iimsi uave uoue us pe-iect worK
A Curious Episode, ;
A Berlin professor makes a
statement in illustration ot the
production of snow by change of
terr.peratnre. Ou au extremely
cold but starlight night $ large
company had assembled in a ball
room in Sweden, which m the
course of the evening became so
warm that some of the lariiea
tmntpd. A?i nfRfter tnorl tn nnnn
; a xv'm&ow hut found it was fros
zeu to the sill. .He then broke a
n..llrt -i- uua tiii rnau m
f.(l; nL fpnm w;rhnnr. trnr1nf.pd
' M ot snow , tne r3orP. Il8
j atmosphere was charged with va
which, becoming suddenly
form ot- gll0W up0D the ast,omsh.
; ed dancers. ' -
,
Wind vehicles, fitted with sails,
raa3t3 etc ftre now. : in-use on the
ilong stretches ot tracks which
expend over the Wester Prairies,
and the epecd which attained n-
as uals that ot the fast express. They
are emHojvd to couvey repairing
parties, to putnps, tel-traph hies,
along the -route. They are, o
course: exce-idingly cheap to con
of struct and. maintain, and save the
labor involved iu tunning a hand
. car.
- THE HEATHEN CHINESE. :
BY MOJfA VUETLAKD. "
I've a very sad story to tell, I assure yoa, '
And alas! its a common one too; - i
'Tis a story of hunger, a ; storry "of sorrowr,
Because I have no work to do.
In the country, as well as the city, '
There are thousands who want a square
meal. ....
There is plenty of work for the Chinese-
A poor white man must starve or else
- steal. , 1 -. ' ,
For All Chin you will flad fa i - the kitchen, !
In the laundry, U Cfcunij and Hop Lee;
On railroads, in workshops on ranches,
There is work for the heathen Chinese.
I've foujr little children at home to provide
for; ,
They are starving and crying for food,
My husband is SiCk, my rent is due.
t' Pq mpney to .ouy coal, or wood.
I've walked all the, streets of the: city,
In search of employment or bread- ;
But I find there's do work for . a white
man.
They all hire the Chinese instead.
Then, rouse! Freemen! rouse! Let us fly to
theiescue, - '
Lets battle through fire and blood,
To be rid of this viper, this 'curse of our
nation- . - ,
This le ch that is suckincr her blood,
And swear by your wives, and your chil
dren,
In this golden land, here by the sea,
WVU be r d of this scourge on our country,
We'll be rid of the he&tVen Chinese.
For a white man we'l have fn.,the kitchen.
In the laundry old Mrs. Majree,
On railroads, la workshop, on ranches,
No more work for the heathen Chinese.
? .-.
A DOCTOR'S STORY.
BY G. H, 6HAUBR00K. -
The next night about 9 o'clock
I was disturbed by a ring of tho
bell. On opening the door I
found it to be Dr. Edgar of whom
I hav( spoken before. We chat
ted for a while t bout things in
general, and the book I was writ
ing. He said he had come to see
if he could get- myas3U.tance:in
helping him dissect a subject 1id
bad obtained in a somewhat sin
gular manner, which offjrded a
very good study ot the nerves.
We had loft my otnee, and were
walking up town when Edgar
aked me when I could assist
him in the operation, and if I
could not come to-night. xo, it
i. impossible to assist you to-night,
or I have a patient : that I must
be with aid the crisis ot his diss
order should occur to-night," said
I. ,4Can you com ' tomorrow
at ekv . "No, I have a lec-
ureat that hour.', iBut, stop,"
rephed Kdgar, i- "we are at the
door of my house, will you not
come in and take a' look at mj
subject?" Thanks; I shall be
glad to, as have heard some, very
flattering reports about you. '.For
the best, I suppose," cried Kdgar,
at the same time unlocking a
door which he told me to hut
and stand still a mmute, ar he
had a secret passage by which he
entered Lis other room. We then
entered the other door and. by
the glare of a match, which he
struck, I unserved '.that the room
was tilled with boxes, casts, ins
8trumeuts, bouks and all other
horrible impedimenta of a eurgi"
cal retreat.
He then lighted -the gas ami 1
perceived that a table with some
thing upon it stood m the middle
of the room. It was covered with
a cloth that hung down on either
si Je about4 inches; it resembled a
rresh - grave covered with enow,
aud lifting the cloth I saw it was
the . body ot a. ve.y young
lady. As Edgar turned on more
gas, he Baid she was tho nicest
featured lady h had ever seen, i
theu took nold of i her haud and
noticed that there was a ied
spot in the center, and a stripe on
the haok. It e2med to be the
same bund, and the same lady,
ti at came to my oraco the my; lit
before, and I was so certain ot it
that I told Dr. Edgar ot the oc
currence aad asked him where
he procured the body, and lie
said :
I was in a certain pltco a, few
eveiuugs ago, auu M,f.aiicu.
see a lady who was tery-stCK. As;t k , - l)rofesonat chiro
soou as 1 arrived 1 saw- that she:
waa Hctnty Ann I r'm?Ai'l riPr AvPfl ,
that
morning.
After, she was
hurried I got a man by paying
him well, to go aiidOiring jue the
body, merely because iNvas 80
V V M V w h v
tures and lovely form aud' l have
just go: her here.
After telling Dr. Edgar I would
assist him to-morrow at twelve, I
departed tor my homo.
It was after eleven when I had
closed my lecture, and was just
stepping trom the platform when
I met Dr. Edgar; and together we
proceeded to the di&ceettnroom.
Ihe subject lay cold as snow
apparently no more life than a
stone. '
We concluded to experiment on
the subject with electricity. uingr
a nroccss Known oniv.rn oupsp ivva
were rewarded ifteronsideri
able labor, with, signs oflifem
the body. Contiuufug i the pro
cess she regained sensibilities and
aocn.wa3 able to speak. We re
moved her to a warm rooni, aud
then she gave us, her history, as
follows, . ' '
"I was marnd when a child,to
a man who loved anotl-er woman.
He grew to hate me aa time wept
on, for standing. between h;m and
his desires. Besides, he wished
to possess my : immense estate.
He tot k me to the East, to Africa
and to the infected districts of
Russia. I was so inconsiderate
a3 to decline all infections, all
daugersincUto live and thrive.
He then commenced - a course of
slow poisonlug and carried me to
America to die, where uo one
ould watch the progress of, his
evil designs. I suspected my
ganger and camee to Dr. for
advice and help. He gave both.
and his fifty. drops of liquid gold
saved my lite tor, that time. Then
aiyt husband tired of waiting, ad
ministered some new drug, which
the antidote faded to ; reach. I
Lecame. insensible, knew nothing
jnlil the present. My name ia
Oountess von Wrecker.'
Her sweet manner and high so
cial refinement won ray affect;on
and in due time the lovely Coun
tess became myjife companion., I
ascertained, that niy wifeV former
nusband, in attempting to secure
his deau wife's estate, paw on the
records that she had obtained a
divorce from him. Onlascertain-
ing t he circumstances, he-fltfd to
foreign par's, leaving my wih in
possession of her estate. .
Everyday Talk Wins.
Yesterday, when the black
clouds gathered in;:tbe nortbaud
betokened the coming ot a thuu
der storm, a citizen who was
coming down on a Jefierson av
enuo car remarked t an elder
ly man beside him:
A storm is portending.
Hay?
I say there are tokens of . a
storm.
Hey?
Apperaances indicate a storm.
Hav? VYhat did you say about
indelicate? A t
There's going to be 'a thunder
storm! shouted the singer.
Ah! Kow I understand, said
the old man--going to be a thun
der storm, f We'l, what do you
want me to do about it 7
When a man enters a post effice
and 83ea a woman standing at
the delivery window, he braces
up, smiles, and concluded to wait
patiently a few moments. It
thereje two women he sneaks up
behind them and , tries to wink
the clerk to get him his mail.
But when one of the women en
ters into conversation with the of
ficial as to tho reasons why the
magazine has not come, and how
long before it will be here, aud it
be is sure he looked in the right
box, the citizen jams his hat over
eyes and walks out of the prstot-
fice lobbv in a wav that would do
credit to a professional pede-t ri
an, . The next day bp negotiates
for a lock-box.
The relalioiiship'of a man and
woman in rainy weather is diseov
ered. It they ate lovers the wo
mati will have ail the umbrella,
and the man wont care how wet
heaetsA Buf.if married it is just
the opposite,
difference.
Marriage
is the
There is a young woman m El
mira, Kew York, who has hair 29
inches in leugth. It she was only
n man t ha't ft nnrmrtt ntirn doctor
jghe would make! All h man needs
ll3t u h h'air.;
peclist u long
Kailrad-! carry
three million
pa85tcnger8 Wely. wher
?. ,f
knled but the troub.e i
s to know
when the three millions is couut-
.... ... . L .
eu Jusl wuuiviue .uoiij is,iutuui
mence
PHILOSOPHY OF sirjiira .
"Where are jou going with tho .
puppies, my little manr asked." a ,
man of a boy yesterday who:2i t
he met with three poppies in '; a ,
basket. ' - ;
"Goin to dj-own them, was tbe
answer. .
"I .'wants a., pup for, my boy to
play with. What do" you say tj
letting meihave one of them.
. "I'll sett you one, :spoke up th j
boy with , true Amencacnici.-
prise. " "111 sell vou . this" vr.!lv"
one for halt, a dollar, th blacl:
one tor seventy-five eenta.&nc. ;
the cpotted one is worth a dollar,.
"I'thiuk my boy would prefer
the spotted one best, but you ask
too much tor it. Yoi had intends -
ed drowning them all, but I will
give you 25 cents and save you '
the trouble ot drowniqg the spot-'
ted one. - '
"Twenty-five cents tor that snot
ted pup! I cart stati d it; taxes u
high;; groceries is high; oil is
lower and going lower; oh, no: JL
cant stand Ies3 than a dollar.
"Bat you intended 'to drown; -
him. ,
"Take the black one at. tweuty
My boy wout like the blac!:
one. : . .
'"Take the yaller one at fifty.
cents.
"I don't like his color..
".Well, then, you'd betfei tell
yon r ,bf y to play with his t oes; no
party can dead-beat his way oa
me these hard times. ''
He Knew the 21&.XL
"The .court would remind the
gentleinan . that his hour h nearly i
up, remarked the ' genial judge
tho other day, as an attorney was v
in the, midst ot his oration to the'
jury. ;"I trut your honor wili al
low him to proceed, eaid the dis
tnct attorney courteously.. "I do"
not wish the counsel to be embar-
rasped fur want of time. "Era
brsissed! said the judge, with a"
grave shake ot the head, and a '
knowing hok over the top of his
spectacles, "there is not the least '
danger of t hat. The oritur waa
the judge's! son.
Gaarantecd.
At a matrimonial agency iq
5ans: v
We have just the thing yoa
want-aa orphan of;' 20. nest
grass.
Pretty?
Not exactly.
Worth? , ;
Halt a million francs, m r?3
ernments; and theu she is con
sumptive.
Uousumptive, eh? Well, that'
always ; something. Perhaps,
however, yvu are only excian
my hopes to
sir, the houae always ruaran
tees its goods to Da as represent
ed. - A -
If men go to heaven when theC
die, why don't the artisis illus
trate them; as they do female au
gels? Kooce ever see a man
angel in a picture, and its giving w
men the cold shake.- Lrce Press
This is uot a very good joke; . for
the tact U that all the historical
angels in revelation, poetry and
art are masculine.
A chap in Arkansas, in the -act
of ramming a heavy charge in au
old musket was killed by the dis
charge of the pieie. The local pam
per speaks ot tt as .a tragic afhurv
bi t to us it esrns to : partake of
the nature t h ni'dlowe l-ramraer.
The peraidtjut rfietch who is
always aikini:i;"Is this hot enough
tor you? will get his reward one
of these days. When a dark com
pl?xioned old persosi wilh hora.?
shall lead him in paying, "Is.Tilis
hot enough t r voa?
The editor of a religious paper
which had one month's precarious
existence in Chiuago, says thct it
is a good city for religious paper
provided the devil can have two
page and tne other mixed.
General Lafayette once stopped
over night in Beddeford, Me., and
lite people are soproud of it that
. ihey fchow you eleven different
. ill' WIIUMI (l
1 , . , , ' . , ..
v hy i love uke a eafinlboat i
. A ......
vciuurju it is a:t uueruui iraus-
f Vi I.
I
. wt , .