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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 1905)
LJ,iMiMiini I HowMany Birthdays ? You must have had sixty at least! What? Only forty? Then it must be your gray hair. Ayer's Hair Vigor stops these frequent birthdays. It gives all the early, deep, rich color to gray hair, and checks falling hair. And it keeps the scalp clean and healthy. "I was greatly troubled with dud raff which produced molt disagreeable itching of the scalp. I tried Ayer's Hair Vigor and the dan draft soon disappeared. My Ealr also stopped falling out until now I hare a , P1D?'d"ed of hair." Datib C. Kinkb, PlainBeld.Conn. by J. O. Ayer Go- Irowall, manufaoturera of f SARSAPAEIUA. yers PILLS. CHERRY PECTORAL. By the Hoar. In these days the rich and the poor both aDDreciate the services of the trained nurse, but until within a com paratively short time the more well-to-do member of society has, Hot had the opportunity to enjoy one branch of her professional ministrations. "Now, however, the hourly nurse is becoming an Important member of society. Among the poor, says the Boston Tran script, the district nurse comes In by the day or hour, as the case demands; In the families of those In more com fortable -circumstances, the ordinary trained nurse is usually engaged by the week, and she rarely cares to go for a shorter time. The hourly nurse, who has had the same training, holds herself ready to answer calls at all times, for one, two, three or twenty-four hours, as the case may be. She assists doctors in minor operations, goes each day to change the dressings, and makes it easier for the family to care for the, patient dur ing the rest of the day. Again, in these days of apartment- houses, there are many homes where it is inconvenient to have a nurse stay at the house. Here the hourly nurse is the right person in the right place. She comes for the necessary time, plan ning to meet the physician when he makes his visit, thus enabling the pa tient to have, at little expense, all requisite care, if not the luxury of con stant attendance. There are many aged people who are too feeble to take care of themselves. They do not. need a trained nurse nor even an attendant all the time, but the assistance that a competent person can give them for an hour or two daily greatly adds to their comfort New venues of usefulness open for the hourly nurse in all directions. In Italy the value of land is consid ered to be thirty-four times the annual rental. MISS ELLA Off, INDIANAPOLIS, IND. SUFFERED FOR MONTHS Pc-ru-na the Remedy That Cured. Miss Ella Off, 1127 Linden St., In dianapolis, Ind, writes: "I suffered with a run down constitution for several months and feared that I would have to give up my work. "On seeking the advice of a physician, he prescribed a tonic. I found, however, that it did me no good. On seeking the advice of our druggist, he asked me to try Peruna. In a few weeks I began to feel and act like a different person. My appe tite increased, I did not have that worn out feeling, and I could sleep splendidly. In couple of fnanths I was entirely recovered I thank you for what your medicine has done for me. una Off. Write Dr. Hartman, President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio for free medical advice. All corre spondence is held strictly confidential. JCURH Beat Couxh CUBES WHERE ALL IUf All. ejrBP, xsmswsa. ui j la time. Sold by dnunjists. 11. ff 5 m n 52 Jim Bludao. Wall, no, I caa't tell wha' he lives. Because he don't live, you see; Leastways he's got out of the habit ' Of livin' like you and me. Whar' have you been for the last three year That you haven't heard folks tell How Jimmy Bludao passed in his checks The night of the Prairie Belle? He weren't no saint them engineers ' Is pretty much alike One wife in Natchez-under-the-hill, Another one here in Pike. A keerless man in his talk was Jim, An awkward hand In a row, But he never funked, and he never lied I reckon he never knowed how. And this was all the religion he had. To treat his engine well, Never be passed on the river, ; To mind the pilot's bell; And if ever the Prairie Belle took fire A thousand times he swore He'd hold her nozzle agin the bank Till the last soul got ashore. All boats has their day on the Mississip, And her day come at last; The Movastar was a better boat, . But the Belle, she wouldn't be passec And so she eome tarin along that nlght- The oldest craft on the line With a nigger squat on her safety valve, And her furaace crammed, rosin and pine. s The fire bust out as she cleared the bar, -And burnt a hole In the night; And, quick as a flash, she turned and made For that wilier bank on the right. There was runnin' and cursin', but Jim yelled out Over all the infernal roar: I'll hold her nozzle agin the bank Till the last galoot's ashore." Through the hot, black breath of the burnin' boat Jim Bludso's voice was heard, And they all had trust in his cussedness. And knowed he would keep his word; And, sure's you're born, they all got off Afore the smokestacks fell And Bludso's ghost went up alone In the smoke of the Prairie Belle. He weren't no saint but at judgment I'd run my chance with Jim Longside of some pious gentlemen That wouldn't shook hands with him. He seen his duty, a dead sure thing And went for it thar and then; And Christ ain't a-going to be too hard On a man that died for men. ,- John Hay. PRINCE OF MISERS. Incidents Which Illustrate the Mean ness of Russell Base. While many of the stories that are told of Bussell Sage's miserly habits and eccentricities are fictitious, none of them are. exaggerations. It would be almost ' impossible for anyone to Imagine a man more economical and stingy than fie, says a writer who has been looking up facts about the multi- tJSSEIX 8AQK. millionaire. Although his income is reckoned at $5,000 a day, at least, and some people think It is twice that amount, he has lived at the rate of $5,000 a year or less, and his personal expenses have not been $1,000 a year. That is a very liberal estimate. He has two suits of clothes, one for week days and the other for Sunday,' and he has worn them as long as anybody can remember. He has not bought a new overcoat for 15 or 20 years, and his hat is quite as old as that if not older. A few years ago he sent for a gentleman who had done him a favor, and in a confidential way said that he was go ing to reward him with a "tip" that he could work, for a profit Then, to the man's astonishment, Mr. Sage gave him the address of a store on Seventh avenue where he could get shoes for ,$2 a pair. v To save time the. Western Union Telegraph Company serves a free lunch to its operators, and Mr. Sage appeared every day at a certain hour. A seat was kept for him at a certain table up to the last day he came down town. He never paid fare on the ele vated railroad, because he was a direc tor, and the ticket takers had instruc tions to let him go by without paying. He invariably helped himself to news papers from the stand at Fiftieth street in the morning when on his way downtown, and did the same at Rec tor street when he was going home in the afternoon. He has stolen his news papers for - a generation in the same way, of the same men, and they never dared say a word about it He has always compelled the bootblacks on the elevated stations to shine his ahoea for nothing. . At flrat, years ago, they used to remonstrate. " Ha woukl climb Into one of the chain and wait until they served him. If they de manded pay he would threaten to have them put off the platform. The omnibus drivers and cabmen on Fifth avenue point out a crack across the top" pane of glass in one - of his parlor , windows which, they say, has been there for 21 years. The story goes that Mrs. Sage negotiated with a glazier to replace it with a whole pane for f 12. Mr. Sage would not pay more than $10. The glazier would not yield, and the deadlock has continued for almost a quarter of a century. He has a quiet little country place down on Long Island, with a good deal of lawn, but he does not keep the turf shaved down like his neighbors. He lets the grass grow until it is high enough to make good hay and then sells it for S3 to a livery stablekeepar in the vicinity. -"BOTHERATION PRIMUS." Argnmentative Youth Gave the In structor Something to Think About. The dignity of the old-time clergy man of a small town enwrapped him so entirely in the eyes of his people that Jests concerning the foibles of his youth were likely to be frowned upon rather than cherished. But of the col lege days of the estimable and much reepected Nathaniel Niles, of Wst Fairlee, Vermont, who was graduat ed from Princeton in 1766, N. N. With ington in a recent interesting article tells us that traditions still survive. He and his younger brother Sam uel were both of them able but ex- -cesslvely argumentative youths, and during their student days they were known as "Botheration Primus" and "Botheration Secundus." Just how much of a bother the first botheration could be to an unwary pro fessor is revealed in the famous anec dote of the jack-knfe. It has been re lated of other men than Nathaniel Niles; but at least if he cannot be proved to be the one and only proper hero of it, his attested character lends strong support to his claim. .. His instructor in philosophy was lec turing upon "Identity," and had Just argued that parts of a whole might be subtracted and other matter substi tuted, yet the whole would remain the same, Instancing the fact that every part of our bodies ls changed in seven years, yet we remain me same maiviu- uals. - " i "Then," said Niles, "if I had a knife and lost the blade and had a new blade put In, it would still be the identical knife?" "Certainly," was the reply. "Then If I should lose the handle from the new blade and have another handle made to fit it, the knife would still be the same?" "That Is so," said the professor. 'Then, in that case," triumphantly rejoined young Botheration Primus, "if I should find the old blade and the old handle and have the original parts put together, wnat knife would ' that be?" Story of a Woman Crusoe. Beginning due west of Point Con ception on the California coast and continuing at Irregular intervals as far south as the Bay of Todos Santos in Lower California lie the Channel islands. In this ideal region for the yachtsman, the fisherman and - the hunter one comes to feel like a new Crusoe on his primitive isle. And in very truth Crusoe's seml-mythlca story was enacted upon one of these same Inlands, though minus the man Friday and the happy ending. The castaway in this case was a woman, a Danish emigrant, left ashore through some mischance by the crew of a vessel that had sought shelter behind Sah Nicholas during a storm in the early 'Ws. For over seventeen years the lone creature had lived un sought and forgotten, though the time at length came when, on the days the mist-clearing north winds blew, she could climb to the island's highest point and view the ranchers' herds grazing upon the mainland. And at last,, when hope and reason had both long died, the poor, wild, gibbering creature was found in her wolfs burrow among the hills by the advance guard of the otter hunters' fraternity, who had' long wondered at the mysterious footprints they found marked upon the lonely sands. For est and Stream. Nature's Armored Cruisers. Some of the papers are poking fun at the story which comes from the Bay of Biscay of crabs weighing sixteen pounds and possessing claws eighteen inches in circumference. The Joke would have seemed the funnier, per haps, had the crabs been described as opening and eating oyster. As a mat ter of fact, there is a species which does crack cocoanuta. Aa students of Darwin will remember, this extraordi nary creature grows to an enormous size; so large is it that in the larger ones there is sufficient fat to yield Quart of palm-oil, derived from their diet on cocoanut. These nuts they first denude of their tough fibrous cov ering, then with their hammer-like claws beat upon the shell until an opening Is made, and the rest is sim ple. These giants live on land, but bathe each night In the sea. Ambition Gratified. First Bookworm Well, I'm working on a file of newspapers now and am entirely satisfied. Second Ditto You always , did have a sneaking ambition to get into the papers. New Orleans Times-Democrat We lately met i luft, fin rooking, assertiTe sort of woman. . "My mother liYs With TO," ie aia, We aortrot expected lty '- . - Inrlstlrate It closely, and 7011 .will find that the successful men do not take many hancea. "Is she sentimental?" '7.Mtt OV.' will even weep , over her Old divorce papers." Judge.; . Hewitt How" many meals did you have on the voyage. Jewett Gross or net? Brooklyn Life. "It seems . Woodby has discovered that he has a family tree.' ."Yes, it's an outgrowth of his successful busi ness plant." "So the lawyers got most all the estate. Did Ethel get anything?" "Oh, yes. She got one of the law yers." Judge. Employer (to new office boy) Has the cashier told you what you are to do this afternoon. Office boy Yes, sir;- I'm to wake him when I see you coming. Scraps. Magistrate You say your machine was beyond your control. Chauffeur- Yes, your honor. If I could have con trolled it the cop wouldn't have caught me. New York Mail. Poet I see you accepted one of my poems and refused the other. Editor Yes; I took one of them out of sym pathy for you, and refused the other out of sympathy for the public. Ex. "George certainly is a man of- ac tion." "What has he done?" "Why, the very next day after the heiress accepted him he gave up his job at the bank and joined the Don't Worry Club." ' "You'll take a couple of tickets, of course. We're getting up a-raffle forj a poor cripple in our neighborhood" "None for me, thank you. I wouldn't know what to do with a poor, cripple if I won him." "Well," asked the architect who had been commissioned to make a set ot plans for a New York hotel, "how do you like them?" "They won't do. You have provided for only six differ ent kinds of dining-rooms." Ex. Kind lady You can get work beat ing carpets two doors from here they are cleaning house. Homeless Holmes Thanks, mum. I - niighter bumped right inter it if youse hadn't warned me. I'll steer clear of it, mum Cleve land Leader. Jones (to Brown, who has been re lating his wonderful adventures in Russia) And I suppose you visited the great steppes of Russia? Brown t should rather think so. And walked op every blessed one of them on my hands and knees. Office boy Miss Keyes, please let me look at your face? Miss Keyes What for? Office boy Why, the boss said some of the paint was scratched off his typewriter. I didn't know whether he meant you or the ma chine. Chicago News. The three-year-old daughter of a leading minister resents too great familiarity. A few evenings ago, though she seemed a little unwilling, a caller took her upon his lap, where upon she said with great gravity: "I want to sit in my own lap." Mabel (not In her first youth) First of all he held my hand and told my fortune; and then, Evie, he gazed into my face ever so long and said he could read my thoughts Wasn't that clever of him, dear? Evie Oh, I suppose he read between the lines, darling Punch. "What did you discuss at your li brary club this afternoon, dear?" asked the husband In the evening. "Let me see," murmured his wife; "oh, yes, I remember now. Why, we discussed that woman who recently moved into the house across the street, and Longfellow." Ex. Pausing uncertainly before a desk In the big insurance office, the Hiber nian visitor said to the clerk: "Ol want to tek out a pawlicy." "Life, fire or marine?" drawled the dapper clerk with infinite sarcasm. "Al three, O'lm thlhkin'," retorted the applicant; "Ol'm goin' fer a stoker In th' navy." Puck. Mrs. Younglove Our cook says those eggs you sent yesterday were ancient. Grocer Very sorry, ma'am. They were the best we could get You see, all the young chickens were killed off for the holiday trade, so the old hens are the only ones left to do the lavin'. Mrs. Younglove Oh, to be sure. Of course. I hadn't thought of that Chicago Record-Herald. From Appearances. When the six-year-oia son was taken in to see the new baby, says the Philadelphia Public Ledger, he ex claimed: , "O mamma, it hasn't any teeth! O mamma. It hasn't any hair!" Then clasping his hands in distress, he cried, "Somebody has cheated us! It's an old baby." Oeehaw and Giddsp Farmer Geehaw Sim Walton has got forty gals comln' to board with him this summer. Farmer Glddap Dew tell I How did he manage to git so many? Farmer Geehaw He advertised that nuthln' but college students wuz employed on the farm. Philadelphia Bulletin. The people down In their hearts ad mire the father who refuses to sit on the back porch for any daughter's bean. ' ' When a young man asks for the hand of an heiress he means the one In which ahe carries her purse. HpLESSTlGflt It is aa impossible to conquer the diseases Contagious Blood Poison with Mer cury and Potash as it would be to conquer the king of the forest in a hand-to-hand encounter, as thousands who have had their health rained and lives blighted through the use of these min erals will testify. They took the treatment faith- vijr w uui vmu vt amv vu, the awful effects of these minerals, such of the bones, salivation, inflammation When the virus of Contagions Blood Poison enters the blood it quickly con taminates every drop of that vital fluid, and every muscle, nerve, tissue and bone becomes affected, and soon the foul symptoms of sore mouth and throat, copper-colored blotches, falling hair and eyebrows, swollen glands, sores, etc., make their appearance. Mercury and Potash can only cover up these evidences for awhile; they cannot cure the disease. S. S. S. has for many years been recognized as a specific for Contagious Blood Poison a perfect antidote for the deadly virus that is so far-reaching in its effects on the sys tem. S. S. S. does not hide or mask the disease, but so thoroughly and kind. Treatise with instructions for home treatment-and any advice wished. Without charge. THE SWtFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA. Pilgrims to Mecca. 1 Last year about 200,000 pilgrims went to Mecca, representing a Moslem population of about 200,000,000 in Tur key, - Arabia, Egypt Soudan, Zanzi bar, Barbary states, South Africa, Af ghanistan, Persia, Baluchistan, India, the East Indian and Philippine Islands, China, and Russia in Asia. The gov ernments of Turkey and Egypt pay toll (blackmail) to the Bedouin tribes, through whose territory the pilgrim ages pass, but the system 1b not en tirely effective. Last year some 20 per cent of the pilgrims were reported ill-treated, wounded or killed, and it is estimated that during the pilgrim age season travelers to Mecca were robbed of more than $1,000,000. Cara vans of 3,000 to 5,000 camels are no rare occurrence1. Mothers will And Mrs. Wlnslow's Boothlne Syrup the best remedy to use for their children auring ute teeming penoa. Prose vs. Poetry. The poet raves of the beautiful hair that crowns his fair idol's head and calls the man a prosy old bear who ignores its splendors instead. Yes, the poet of it makes a fad, its glories in verse he will group; but, like other men,' he gets mad if a strand of it gets in his soup. CASTOR I A Por Infants and Children. The Kind Yea Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of - . Rhymed All Right. A school teacher was trymg to im press upon a scholar's mind that Co lumbus discovered America in 1492. "Now, John," he said, "I will tell you the date in rhyme so that you won't forget it 'In fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue.' Now, can you remember that John?" : "Yes, sir," replied John. Next day the teacher said, "John, when did Columbus discover Ameri ca?" "In three fourteen hundred and ninety Columbus sailed the dark-blue sea!" A New Kipling Story. It is nearly a year since any Ameri can magazine has been fortunate enough to secure a story from Kipling; but the August Century prints a tale, "An Habitation Enforced," which gives us Kipling at his best. Someone, in com- ,-; ir;i; ,;tt, tt, rAA k. ,,1 r & """B - ume novelist; has said that he gives us the Liebig extract of those cattle low ing on a thousand hills," so here, j where two Americans,' a nervously broken millionaire and his wife, take up an enfored habitation in an enchant ed corner of England, he contrives to give a quintessence of American and . British civilization a commentary, in brief, with vistas such as only a Kip ling can open up. A delightful vein of satire crops out wherever the British way and the American way meet, a vein which will charm readers on both ; sides the Atlantic. Most readers, too, ' will find in this latest story of the greatest of living English story writers the spiritual touch which was so strongly manifest in "Ihey" seemingly marking a new and higher phase of de velopment in man and writer. Me Pension Yet, "Well, to be honest with you," said the tramp, "I can't exactly say that I'm a veteran and have witnessed the horrors of war, but I think I deserve a pension, though." "For what?" "Well, I was once locked In a freight car for a week, with the weather at zero and nothing but a frozen turnip to eat, and nothing but blocks of build ing stones to keep me warm, and if I am not entitled to a pension nobody else ought to have one. The horrors of that old turnip beat uie .horrors of a battlefield all to pieces." X7 1 i.U HMLSiv SIMPtC, STRONG. SWitT Da, SOUTHVIGK PRESS 40 Inch Feed Opening. 4 FeeyStroke. Automatic Plunger Draw. Puts Full Weight Into Ordfhary Box Cars. No Small Weak Parts. MITCHELL, LEWIS . & STAVER . CO. , J PORTUAJND . - SEATTLE V 8POKA.NB BOISB , t ei" iiii kin? of uic uu- as mercurial rheumatism, necrosis of the stomach and bowels, etc. completely cures it that no signs are ever seen again. S. S. -S. while eradicating the poison of the disease will drive out any effects of harmful mineral treat ment. A reward of $1,000.00 is offered for proof' that S: S. S. contains a mineral ingredient of anv Not Desirable. He They say a ghost appears at the parlor window of that old house at 12 o'clock every night She Well, I don't think I should fan cy that style of window shade. Fot bronchial troubles try Piso's Cure for Consumption. It is a good cough, medicine. At druggists, price 25 cents. A common screw with a stout string tied around the top makes a fair substi tute for a corkscrew. FITS Permanently Cared. No fits or nervousness after first day's use of Dr.Kline'sGreat Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 82 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. K. H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. The secret of success is constancy purpose. Disraeli. of MALLEABLE IRON STUMP PULLERS Fastest, lightest and strongest Stump Puller on the market. 119 Horse power on the sweep with two horses. Write tor descriptive catalog and prices. 1 - : KBIERSON MACHINERY CO. Foot of Morrison Street Portland, Oregon OREGON PORTLAND ST. HELEN'S HALL A GIRL'S SCHOOL OF THE HIGHEST CLA S3 corps of teachers, location, build ing equipment the best. Send for cat alogue. Term Opens September !S,l90-4 9 I BAD DEBTS fkm COLLECTED Fjf mcmrsnismamASM. jjgfj'yV FRtHOJ Glum Gin not NATl&ANti bloc. SALT LAKE CITY. UTAH CURE HEAVES. COUGH, Dirtenmer. all trail hie th&t eanse heaves. Bold on guarantee over i years, oucpsoy mail, owe CURED 34. "The past 8 months I have cured 1 1 horses of heaves, 1 4 of distem per and 9 of chronic cough." Behncke, Newark, N. T. Write how many head stock tod have, we send stock book F REE Lf nmian Remedy Co..St.Panl.Mia rOBILADn SEED CO.. Portland. Or.. fJostat Agents. IF YOO STASU3I WE CAN CURE YOU The Iiewis Phono-Metric Institute and School fos Stammerers of Detroit, Michigan.- Established eleven years. Have cured thousands. Gold Medal awarded AVorld's Fair, St. Louis, 1904. Recommended by physic ians, educators, clergymen, and graduates everywhere. This Institution haa a Western Branch at Portland with a very large class of pupils in attendancemen and women, girls and boys aliases, ten torixty- Many have been cured in three wee:;s, but five to six weeks is the time usually required. Willclose in Portland on October 14th. Will accept pupils until September 1st. A POSITIVE, ABSOLUTE CURE GUARANTEED. Write atonceforparticularsand terras, lf you mention this paper and send 6 cents in stamps, to cover postage. I will send you our cloth bound, sou pajre book. -lha Origin and Treatment of Stammering' free of charge. 1 Address WTXL1AM T. LEWIS ! -Western Representative Associate Principal B. W. Cor. 18th and Raleigh Streets PORTLAND. OREGON Note No pupils accepted at Portland after Sept. 1st. THE DR. C. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO. Formerly located at 253 Alder St. for the past 5 years HAVE MOVED To the Large Brick Building at the 8. E. Corner of First and V.orrison Streets. En trance No. 162 First Street. Successful Home Treatment DR. C. GEE WO is known throughout the United States, and is called the Ureat Chi nese Doctor on account of his wonderful cures, without the aid ol a knife, without using poisons or drugs of any kind. He treats any and all diseases with powerful' Oriental Boots, Herbs, Buds, Bark and Vegetables that are unknown to medical science In this country, and through the use of these harmless remedies. He guar antees to cure Catarrh, Asthma, Lung Trouble, RheuniatismNervousnees, Stom ach, Liver, Kidney, Female Weakness and All Chronic Diseases. - Call or write, enclosing 4 2 c. stamps for mailing Book snd Circular. Address The C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co. No. 162 First St., S. C. Cor. Morrison Please mention this paper. Portland, Oregon. P. ft U. No. 31-1905 LI I HEN writing to advertisers please nenuoB tun paper Sure but Not Slow