JL OLD PEOPLE TEeb Pains and Ailments Any taint cf the blood quickly shows itself with old people, and troubles, which a younger, more vigorous con stitution holds in check, take possession of those of ad vanced vears. . A mole, wart or pimple often begins to in flame and fester, terminating in a sore that refuses to heal. Wandering pains of a rheumatic character are almost constant, the joints get stiff and the mus cles sore, while sleeplessness and nervousness make life a burden. The nat- ZSJllxXt 1 hd asevere attackof La Grippe, which left me 60 great in old age and all the aaoA a wreck. xtoavdlfto my wretched organs get dull and sluggish, condition, Rheumatism developed. In a short failiner to carrv out the waste time after beeinnine S. S. S. I was relieved of the matters and poisons accumu- pains and have gained in flesh and strength and latin? in the system and they W Seneral j? ttrthS,t f or J"- 1 heart ., . . . . 1, lly recommend S. S. S. for all blood diseases. are taken up and absorbed by & a . B. F. Grsgory. . the blood, rendering it weak and unable to properly nourish the system. There Is no reason why eld age should not be as healthy as youth if the blood is kept pure and strong. S. S. S. its fine tonic effect. Almost from the general health begins to improve and the pains and ailments pass away. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO. ATLANTA, GAm Best of All Plays. I do not care for problem plays; give me ' the kind of play In which the girl is just as pure as are the flowers in May; -The play in which in time of need the hero's right on deck, And where the scheming villain gets it always in the neck. I love to hear the girl refuse the villain's gold to take, And say that rags are riyal duds when worn for virtue's sake; I love to see her- beaux decline to heed the rich man's beck, And swat the villain with a club athwart bis ngly neck. O not for me the Gallic farce, the Ibsen fol-de-rol, Where man is but a jackanapes and woman is a doll; I'll take the sturdy plot in which the villain tries to wreck . The hero's life, .and in the end just gets it in the neck. t Louisville Courier-Journal. - Those Loving Girls Miss Elderleigh You may not believe It, but I refused offers from three dif ferent men last month. Miss Youngbud Oh, I don't doubt it. But what were they selling? Fiso-s Cure Is a remecy for coughs, oolds nd consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents, t druggists. The Polite Editor. Caller I have a little poem which Editor (busily) That gentleman ever there, sir. Caller (genially) Is he the literary critic? Editor (politely) No; he's the boun cer. ' Why They Came Late. Husband (in hat and overcoat) Good gracious! Haven't you got your coat on jet? Wife It's all fixed except tucking in my dress sleeves so they won't get muss ed. I'll be ready in half an hour. riTQ Permanently Cured. Ko fits or nervousness Slid after nrstday'BuseofDr.Kline'sUreatNerre Restorer. Bend for Free 82 trial bottle and treatise, fir. B. H. mine, Ltd., 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Fa. No Time Left. "Winter wheat looking well?" he asked of a street car passenger who looked like a farmer. "Dunno," was the brief reply. "Good deal of snow out in the coun try?". ' "Mebbe." J, "Price of hay gone up any?" "Can't say." "But aren't you a . farmer, my friend?" "Yes, I'm a farmer; but this winter I've been courtin' a widder woman wuth $8,000 and I haven't had any time to fool around with snow or hay or anything else." Chicago News. The Kind You Have Always " ture of Chas. H. Fletcher, and lias been made under his personal supervision for over' 30 years. Allow no one to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and Just-as-g-ood" are but Experiments, and endanger the licaltli of Children Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless- substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups.' It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms . and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the ' Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. Tie Kind You Have Always Bought 9 Bears the In Use For Over 3 O Years. MTU COHmHT. TT Kin me ncc. .never iuiis. aoia oy dealers, 50c ana i.oc per can CLEANED OUT ALL. THF It TP AND MITES. ' -. JUST THE J. H. Malone. of Ader, Mo., on hogs, and is wortn nve ffOKTIiAMD IKIED CO. in ii ail r---MfSife" is purely vegetable and is the safest and best blood purifier and tonic for old people, because it is gentle, but at the same time thorough in its action, purify ing the blood of all poisons and foreign matter, strengthening it and toniner up the entire system by first dose the appetite increases, the Wasn't Ashamed. She was a member of a North Side church, and Bhe was trying to impress the fact upon the mind of the friend who rode out with her on a late ele vated train the other night . I m as good a church member as any one, and I don't care who knows it," she said in the course of her talk. "Well, It's nothing to be ashamed of," said the friend.. "I was also once a church member, and I never was ashamed to own up to It." "Ashamed! Who says I am asham ed?" shouted the first Woman, until every, one In the car turned to look. "Ashamed ? Well, now, I rather guess not. I'm a good church member, and who dares say I am ashamed of It? The person who told you I am ashamed of it Is a liar. There!" "wny, no one tola me you were ashamed of it," said the friend. "Well, then, why are you saying It?" "I didn't say it." "You did!" "Well, then, I suppose I did." "Well, I'm not ashamed. I'll give you to understand that and you can put It in your last summer's bonnet that I am not." And then as the train stopped she added: "Good-by, dear. I get off here." ' Probably th youngest general in the world is a nephew of the late Shah of Persia, 'a boy not yet. 14 years Old. : Ha holds the rank of full general in the Per sian army. Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Bvrun the best remedy to use for their children . during me teeming period. " Criticism. Joe What do you think of Miss Gob- bleton? Fine intellect, eh? Fred Yes; but her intellect isn't in it with her conversational abilities. One Good Feature. Jimson If there's one thing I dislike more than another it's a shallow man. Samson Yes, but there's one thing in his favor. Jimson I'd like to know what it is. Samson A shallow man doesn t re quire as much watching as a deep one. To Break In New Shoes. Always shake in Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder. It cures hot, sweating, aching, swollen feet. Cures corns, ingrowing nails and bunions. At all druggists-and shoe stores, 26c. Don't accept any substitute. Sample mailed FREE. Address Alien o. uimstea, Le Koy, N. Y. Same Old Plaint. - The Lady It seems to me these ber ries are rather small. . The Peddler I'm sure they have got tneir tun growth, ma am. . J.ne Lady Possibly; , but I'm quite sure your quart boxes haven't got theirs. Bousrht lias borne tti si en a. Signature of MUMUV mr. NEW YOU CITY. PRUSSIAN LICE KILLER kills IfCP PniTlT-vr Easily applied Paint perches. 011 Ouury, nest boxes, etc.. and the fames Albert Blocker of Chanhassen, Minn., bought a ean of Prussian Lice Killer and used it thoroughly three times and cleaned his poultry house entirely free from lice and mites. Before using, the poultry house was alive with red ttoe and mites. THING (TOR LlCE ON HOGS saVs the Prusaiaa Lice Killer is just t a just the fining Cor lice timet its cope. Portland, Or Coast Aftati Such a Mistake! Physician Youi ailment lies in the larynx, thorax and epiglottis. Hooligan Indade! An' me afther thinkhV th' trouble was in me throat Long Distance Appreciation. Mrs. Jordan Did you ever hear my daugh ter, sing,' Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson Oh, yes; I only live five blocks from your house, you know. Baby, the Biggest Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and Baby Bigger, which of this Interesting family is' the big gest, and why the biggest? Answer Baby Bigger, because he Is a little Bigger. Excused. I gay, if you are so aw fully smart at problems, tell me how far off thunder is when you hear the first roll. Calculator I can't do that. sir. Crawfoot You can't? Calculat or No; I'm the lightning calculator. A Pun? A man driving in the coun- try lost a nut off his wagon wheel. Meeting an Italian, he asked if he had a monkey wrench. The indignant Italian wrathfully' replied, "Me no keep a monkey ranch; me keep a sheep ranch." Convincing. "Certainly, I am sure it's a counterfeit note," said the re ceiving teller. "It has one very notice able flaw; It's in the paper." "But, my dear man," protested the depositor, 'in these days you canf believe every thing you see in the paper." A Hint Mr. Highlive Cooking up from the paper) Well, well! Won ders will never cease! They've got so now that they can photograph In col ors. Mrs. Highlive (glancing at his nose) I. think, my dear, you'd better get your picture taken before the old process is abandoned. ' Exemplary Punishment A mother brought her little son for his first time to school, and said to the teacher: 'This boy o' mine is very delicate, as he is. afther a fit of harmonia on the loongs; but If he does anything bould. an' I know he will, bate the wan next to him, an' 'twill frighten him' He Won Easily. Mr. Subbubs You know you're only talking non sense. What do you want a couple of new gowns for? Mrs. Subbubs Why, Mrs. Playne has got a dozen gowns, all of them much handsomer than the two or three that I've got . Mr. Sub bubs Yes, I know. But a homely woman like that needs rich attire in order to attract attention. Seizing the Opportunity. "Always,' advises the pompous person who has accumulated several millions, "always say, T will.' Never allow "yourself to be dismayed by the outlook! Over come the outlook! That's the way to succeed." "One, then," comments the poor person to whom he addresses this homily, "should always say, 'I will'?" Yes, sir." "And you always say it?" "I do." "Will you lend me half million to get my airship in running order?" r Proved His Teacher Wrong. Little Willie's father found his youthful son holding up one of his rabbits by the ears and saying to him: "How much Is seven times seven, now? Tiah," the father heard the boy say, "I knew you couldn't Here's.' another one: Ski times six is how much?" "Why, Wil lie, what In the world are you doing with your rabbit?" asked the father. Willie threw the rabbit down with disgust "I knew our teacher was wrong," was all he said. "Why, how?" asked his father. "Why, she told us this morning that rabbits were the greatest multipliers In the world. HOMEOF MACBETH UNCHANGED Cawdor Castle Still Mocks the Tooth of Devouring Time. ' , . . Hamlet's jcastle at Elsinore, which still remains precisely as in his day, is not the only habitat which still mocks the tooth of cormorant devouring time. The castle of Macbeth, thane of Glamis and of Cawdor Cawdor castle built In the year 1446, also still stands just outside of the village still called "Caw dor," at Inverness, in Scotland, says Shakspeareana, and' if it does not hap pen to rain when . the tourist ap proaches it (and it sometimes does not rain in Scotland) he will 'exclaim as Duncan did,- "this castle hath a pleas ant seat, the air nlmoly and sweetly recommends itself to our senses." During its many centuries of life, Cawdor castle has accumulated many wings, "outer walls" and new inte riors, and so the great hall where the deed of dreadful note was first resolv ed may not be at present located (and, for once, tradition has not selected one of them). But a" chamber where the deed may have been done there Is in on of the oldest parts of the old pile. For several years this chamber has been tendered by the present thane of Cawdor on of; the Campbell family (the present owners of the property) as a bedroom for a night's lodging to any artist who will as quid pro quo paint upon its walls a picture of some Inci dent of the tragedy according to Shak speare. V That not many artists have cared for such a night's lodging on any terms we are led to guess from the fact that only four pictures are on that Cham' ber's walls. Lady Macbeth ; in her nightrobe; Macbeth with the fatal dag ger drawn; the brlndle cat that mewed thrice, and the owl, the fatal belman! as well as the three secret black and midnight hags over the caldron! Everything else in the house Is more quiet when there -is illness, but did you ever notice the impudence of the dock, which ticks ail the louder? . vet t ran Milwaukee editor dead. ' ' William E. Cramer, aged 88, editor in chief of the Evening Wisconsin of Milwaukee, died recently of pneumo nia. Mr. Cramer, had been for over j half a century one of the leading fig-j ures In the affairs of Wisconsin. He had been In the editorial harness con stantly from 1847, when he went to Milwaukee, until his death, although for . over forty years he was almost blind. - Mr. Cramer was the last of the old- line editors. For fifty-seven years he directed the policy of the Wisconsin, going to the office every day. Though sadly handicapped by blindness and defective hearing, he kept closely in touch with the events of the day, and up 'to the last not only jtook an active part in the publication of his paper, but few Issues went to press without WILLIAM E. CBAKEK. something on the editorial page from hla pen. Mr. Cramer was a lawyer by pro fession, but his leaning toward news paper work led him to become a writer on the Albany Argus, where he was on Intimate terms with Martin Van Bu ren, Horatio Seymour and other Dem ocratic leaders, State and national. In 1847 he went to Milwaukee on the in vitation of prominent Democrats and purchased the Courier, the name of which was soon after changed to the Evening Wisconsin. The paper was Democratic, bdt when the Civil War broke out Mr. Cramer became a war Democrat and enthusiastically support ed the IJnlon cause. Since then the pa per has been Republican In politics. In 1869 Mr. Cramer married Miss Harriet L. Barker, who survives him. While visiting Europe Mr. and Mrs. Cramer were beleaguered In Paris at the v time of- the. siege during , the Praneo-Prusslon "war, and . went through the scenes of the commune. HAS TRAVELED 2,421,600 MILES, Great Distance Covered by a Surgeon on Trans-Atlantic Liners. Dr. J. Fourness Brice, surgeon or one of the great trans-Atlantic liners. has crossed the ocean probably more times than any oth ;er man living. He has lived on ocean liners for over fifty years and though he Is now '-, 79 years old he hopes to make many more trips. He has crossed the Atlantic 835 times, or a total of some ,' 2,421,500 miles. It is quite prob DB. J. F. BBICK. able that he has exceeded this by many 'thousands of miles, for in his fifty years on the Atlantic the steam ers on which he sailed were not eon fined to any particular route. " The greater part of the time he sailed be tween New York and Liverpool, and the routes between these points vai-y from 2,900 to 3,000 miles or more. The dlstanc? between Boston and Liverpool is not as , great, but there are times when these steamers take.routes long er than those Bailing from New York. So that in the case of a man who has sailed the Atlantic for more than fifty years, and crossed it 835 times, a few thousand miles does not cut so much of a figure. . Making the most conservative esti mate, Dr. Brice has sailed enough miles to take him around the earth.1 about ninety-seven times. The longest distance around is at the equator, the circumference of the earth at this point being about 24.899 miles. ' As suming that on each of his trips across the Atlantic Dr. Brice traveled 2,900 miles, he could have gone around the earth 9714 times. " ( - . The Case of Jim. Maw's callin' from the niilkhouse, Callin' stern: "Jim, yer lazy good fer nuthin', Come an churn. Paw's callin' from the cornpatch, Callin' loud: "James, yer hulkin', stupid loafer, Time yer plowed.'' Nature's callin' from the trout brook, , Callin' whish: . "Son, yer poor tired, lazy feller, . Come and fish." . Stranger, if we just swapped places, Pupt it cjear, Which of all the three a-callin' Would you hear? New York Sun. - . A Cautions Youth. A very small "boy was trying to lead a big St Bernard up the road. "What are you going to do with the dog, my little man?" inquired a passer-by. "I I'm going -to see-'where where he wants to go, first," was the breath less reply. - I When a couple gets married . they ought to-be prevented from having their pictures taken with her hand on his shoulder for one year. fin Growina Old Fast And you know why, too. It's those gray hairs! Don't you know that Ayer's Hair Vigor restores color to gray hair? Well, it does. And it never fails, either. It stops falling hair also, and keeps the scalp clean and healthy. Do not grow old too fasti " I hT nsed Ayer'i Hair Vigor for many Tears and 1 should Indeed be aorrr to be ob liged to do wlthoat It. It keeps my hair from turning gray, and also keeps my scalp clean and healthy." E. S. BN FIELD, Canyon City, Oregon. Jk Hade An by J. O. Arer Co.. Lowell, lao saanoiaotarers of SARSAPAEIIXA. PILLS. CHERRY PECTORAL. tiers Wasted Energy. Sometimes head and heels work well together, but it was not so In a case reported in the Yonkers Statesman. Cam, a colored man, was an hour late, and bis employer asked him to ex- Plaln- . - . "Yes, sah, I'll explain, sahv" Sam re plied., - , . ' . "Well, what excuse have you?" "I was kicked by a mule on my way here, sah." ' . ' "That ought not to have detained you an hour, Sam, If you were able to come at all." . "Well, it wouldn't have if he'd only kicked me in dis direction. You see, boss, he kicked me de other .way." - Cannot Reduce a Rate. It is stated in Washington, that . un der the Townsend rate bill, if a rate is fixed by the commission it cannot be lowered by a railroad. Should an emer gency arise calling for a decreased rate, the railroads or shippers would have to appeal again to the commission, there being no latitude allowedwbatever the circumstances.' Hitherto a maximum rate has been the rule, but no, such concession is made under the proposed legislation. Method in His Madi.ess.' . Candles I was reading in the paper this morning of a man who sleeps in the stable with his horse every night. Mrs. Caudles What's the matter with him is he crazy? " , Caudles No, I guess not, A horse can't talk, you know. - . Swapping Compliments. I have just invented a new sau sage," said the butcher, handing some to the poet for him to try. ; "Ah!" exclaimed he, "it is a poem By the way, have you read my -latest poem?" . "Indeed, yes," replied the butcher with a light of , appreciation in- his eyes; "it is a sausage." Houston Her ald. His Health Was Wrecked ' Pe-ru-na Gave New Life HON. JOHN TIGHC Assemblyman Tighe's letter should be reau oy t.very (.rain worker tteaing a stnu. uous life. , Hon. John Tighe, No. 98 Remsen St. Cohoes, N. Y., Member of Assembly from the Tourth district, Albany coun ty, N. Y., writes as follows: , "Peruna has my hearty indorsemen- as a restorative tonic of superior merit At times when I have been completely broken down from excess of work, so that my faculties seemed actually at standstill, Peruna has acted as a heal ing restorer, starting the machinery of mind and body afresh with new . life and energy. ' 1 recommend it to a man tired in I mind and body as a tonic .superior to anything I know of and well worthy serious consideration.' ' J. Tighe. Lxcess of work so common in our country causes impaired nerves, lead ing to" catarrh and catarrhal nervousness -a disease that is responsible 'for half of all nervous troubles. " Peruna cures this trouble because it cures catarrh wherever located.. :' ' It you do not derive' prompt and sat isfactory results from the use of Peru: na, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giv ing a full statement of your cas, and he will be pleased to give you his vain- able advice gratis. - .. ' Address Dr. Hartman. Pfesiden of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, O I GUnfcS WHtKt ALL LL1t FAILS. I Best Cougb Syrnp. Tastes Good, use in time, sola py flrnggtgta. .;,?', . Not the Kind. ; ; . I . "I had an uncle cue up in Vermont last week," said the Boston man, "and, thqugh there is nothing so very queer about an uncle dying, this relative of mine didn't have a fair show." j "As how?"-was asked. I "Well, when he was 20 years old a tin peddler advised him to always car i ry snuff around in his pocket to throw into a mad dog's eyes, in case he met lone. He carried that snuff for forty years and never used it." "Well?" . "One day, after he had carried it for thirty years, he was crossing a field and an old bull got after him and gave him a toss. When he came limp ing Into the house and told us about it' I said: " 'Why didn't you throw snuff In his eyes, Uncle Jerry? " 'Why. that peddler told me to use the snuff on dogs, and that if ever a bull got after me I was to use ground cinnamon. I hadn't any of the blamed tuft with mer " His Preference. Wife Which of these photographs of mamma do you like best, dear? Husband Let me see. Why ei I think I prefer this small one. Wife Do you think it is a better like ness? Husband Oh, no; but it shows her dressed in a traveling costume. - Each Day's Supreme Event. Every day's work should be a so. preme event In every life. We should come to it as carefully prepared as the prima donna who Is trying to hold the world's supremacy In song comes be- fore her audience. Then our work . would breathe out th vigor and vi tality and freshness which we put into it. Then life would be glorified, and the work of the world' illuminated, transformed. O. S. Marden In "Suo -cess Magazine." Malli Makaroff, only daughter of the Russian admiral, who was drowned by the sinking of the warship Petropavlovsk, has been chosen maid of honor to tun Czarina and to the dowager empress of Russia. Her mother, a woman of Polish . origin, is a profound linguist and accom- iwwhcu ujunicinu. cue una uauuicu u enltism and his written books and plays. i K : : dl. i .1 1.1.1 .. ;n nn At present she is engaged upon a biog raphy of her husband. 1905 LEWIS & CLARK EXPOSITION For First Class Fntrt an'l Room Accom "inodati .ns IN PORTLAND during the EXPOSITION apply at once and send your reservation lee of $-2.00, to apply - on rent of vour room. Rooms -in all rarts of the city. Stic to $2.0-.i per day. RESERVE YOUR ROOMS WITHOUT DE ; LAY AND GET YOUR CHOICE. Write ior lifll information to Department 1, EXPOSITION ACCOMMODATION BUREAU The Only Official Bureau of the Lewis fc dark Fiir GoodnouKh Building, Portland, Oregon OUTSIDE INN Electric lighted rooms. Baths and modern conveniences. K oomsooc, si and si-do per day A new, permanent Hotel, directly opposite main entrance to Fair. AU'street cars for Fair land you at Hotel door. Dr. G. Gee Wo Wcnderful Homa Treatment This wonderful Chi nese doctor is called great because he cures people without opera tion that are given up to die. He cures with those wonderful Chi nese herbs, roots, buds, barks and vegetables that are entirely un known to medical sci ence in this country. Through the use of those harmless remedies this famous doctor knowB the action of over 500 different remedies which he successfully uses in different diseases. He guarantees to cure catarrh, asthma, lung, throat, rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver, kid neys, etc; has- hundreds of testimonials. Charges moderate. Call and see him. Patients out of the city write lor blanks and circulars. Send stamp. CONSULTATION FKEK. ADDRESS The G. G&6 Wo Chinese Medicine Co. 2513-253 ALDER ST., PORTLAND, OREGON Vution paper STOVER GASOLINE ENGINES 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 and 25-Horse ' Power. Satisfaction guaranteed. Hundreds in use in Oregon, Washington and Idaho. Send for Catalogue. Mitchell, Lewis & Staver Co. PORTLAND. OREGOH Seattle and Spokane, Wash. : . Boisey, Idaho. ' p. it, a No. 24-1905 BEN writing: to advertisers nlesM I MaAW. - I