Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, December 09, 1904, Image 3

Corvallis gazette., December 09, 1904, Page 3, Image 3

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Newspaper Page TextHood's SarsapariUa is unquestiona bly the greatest blood and liver medicine known. It positively and permanently cores every humor, from Pimples to Scrofula. It is the Best Blood Medicine. Humorous Bfilltnary Botany. Miss Johnson was an excellent teacher, but her taste in dress, espe cially head-dress, was so peculiar that even her adoring pupils could not fail to notice it The verdure which ap peared upon Miss Johnson's hat one season was so gaudy that several won dering comments were made by the boys. "I'm going to ask her what that green stuff is," said one boy, valiantly, in spite of the vigorous objections of his companions. "She won't mind, and next nature-study class I'm going to ask her. and see who's right." So, red in the face but stubborn, he rose at the end "of a lesson on wayside flowers, in response to Miss Johnson's general request for any questions which might have come up since the last lesson. "I'd like to know about that green tuff on your hat," he said, bluntly. "John Aken, he says it's beach grass, but I say it's onion sprouts." Greatest in the World. Arlington, Ind., Dec. 5th. (Special) Mr. W. A. Hysong, the photograph er, who moved here recently from Sapp, Ky., is firmly of the opinion thst Dodd's Kidney Pills are the greatest Kldnev Remedy the world haa ever known. "In the years 1901 and 1902," says Mr. Hysong, "and for some time before I was afflicted with Kidney Trouble. My Joints were sore and stiff and I finally got so bad I could not turn in bed with out assistance. In the spring of 1903 I was induced, by a friend, to try Dodd's Kidney Pills and after using one and one-balf boxes I was and am sun com Dletelv cured. Several of my neigh bors, too, used Dodd's Kidney Pills and in every case they did as recom mended." Cure the early eymptoms of Kidney Disease, such as Backache, with Dodd's Kidnev Pills and vou will never have Bright's Disease. The Grand Duke Constantin is one of Russia's favorite poets. He won a ree ord as a fine soldier before ne Desna to write verse. I is not wealth nor ancestry, but hon orable conduct and a notne disposition that make men great. Ovid. A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Plies. Your druggist will refund money If PAZO OINT MKNT falls to cure you in to 14 days. 60c Questionable. Miss DePuyster Just think, I can trace my ancestors back to the Reforma tion. Jack Dashing That's nothing. I can trace mine back years and years before any reform was necessary. Grade Oh! Stealing jam! I'm going 'to tell mammal Freddy Wouldn't you rather have some jam? Harper's Bazar. She How is it that widows gener ally manage to marry again? He Be cause dead men tell no tales. Auy Sloper. Sparticus Does that fountain-pen of yours leak that way all the time Smarticus No, only when I have ink In It Baltimore American. I see you advertise piano covers,' said the man with a squiint. "Yes, we have all kinds," said the clerk. "Let me look at some that are hermetically sealed, then." Yonkers Statesman. "I've met several other peopla from your city," said the Bostonian, "and every one ofy them said: 'wnere is n at'?" "Where is what at aemanaeu the New Yorker. Kansas City Inde pendent. Slidey Slats Please, mum, but we're a couple uv shipwrecked sailors Lady What! You never was near the water. Slidey Slats Pufflckiy rignt, mum, pufflckiy right. We wuz on air-ship. Judge. - X, 'l Clll Jfi3t fiws rA , L sag mi I Mrs. Anderson, a prominent society H Mrs. Anderson, a prominent society Zn:rXrthl woman of Jacksonville, Fla., daughter of Recorder of Deeds, West, who witnessed Mothers will find Mrs. WlnsIoT's Boothing Syrup tho best remedy to use for t Meir children during the teething period. Prof. F. B. Loomis of Amherst has se cured over 500 specimens in the fossil fields of the Big ' Horn basin and the Badxer creek basin. PITA Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness f o anerflrstday'suseofDr.Kllne'sUreatNervs Kentorer. Send for FreaSa trial bottle and treatise, br. K. H. Kline, Ltd., il Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa. Henry J. Cove, for many years in charge of the cloakrooms of the English House of Commons, left his property, worth $200,000. to various hospitals. any dressed in the height of fasnion That's what I said. My trouble comes when I don't keep her aressea mat way." Philadelphia Press. "I suppose you have made it a rule in Dolitics never to forget a friend. "ThPi-ft'B no dancer of that," answered Senator Sorphum; "If a anything friendly for you in politics he never lets you forget it. Crabshaw He has the inventive fac ulty very highly developed. Crawford What has he invented? Crabshaw Nothing, so far as I know. But when his wife goes out he can think of things to keep the baby amused by the hour. Judge. She Jack played an awfully heart less trick on Flossie. He How's that? ghe Why. they were engaged, you know, and last night, at the bal masque, Jack made up- so that Flossie didn't know him. He proposed and was accepted again! Puck. "Now that you are wealthy, Mr, C," said the man who deals in pedi grees and the like, "you really should begin to adopt a coat of arms." "I'll do just as I please," retorted Mr. C hotly. "If I like to go about in my shirt sleeves, that ain't none o your business!" "When you first entered politics, said the young man, who was loosing for knowledge, "did you set out witn the determination to win at any cost? 'No." answered Senator Sorghum, l set out with the determination to win at as little expense as possible." Washington Star. t won't no abroad." "Sea travel with vou?" "No." "Bust ness keeps you here continually, ehV' "Sight-seeing wearies you "No." "Then why, pray, don't you go abroad?" "Sh-h-h! I've only got four dollars and twenty-two cents." Cleve- and Plain Dealer. Overheard During the Theatricals She How well your wife plays Lady Geraldlne, Mr. Jones! I think the way she puts on that awful affected tone is just splendid. How does sne man aee it? Mr. Jones (witn emoarrass' ment) Er she doesn t. x nai s natural voice. London Tit-Bits. The Csar a Saint. The Emperor, Nicholas IL, has al ready reigned for nearly ten years, and ruled for folly eight; yet the concrete man, his individual character, and the order of motives to which it is sensi ble, are nearly all as legendary as those of Noma Pompilins. Clouds of journalistic myths, mainly of German origin, enwrap . his figure, hiding it from the vulgar gaze as thoroughly as though he were Delai Lama; and the fanciful portrait; which we are asked to accept, is as abstract and as color less as that of our legendary Russian princes. Beyond, the precincts 01 tne palace, his person is transfigured, his most trivial deeds are glorified, and his least disinterested motives are twisted and pulled into line with the fundai mental principles of ethics. The re sult is a caricature closely bordering on the grotesque. Nikalai Alexandro- vitch is depicted as a prince of peace, a Slav Messiah sent for the salvation, not of his own people only, but of all the world. The most precious porce lain of human clay was lavished in the inakinsr of this unique ruler, who stands upon a much higher level than that of the common run of mortals or of kings, in virtue, not only of the dread responsibilities laid upon him by the Most High, but also by reason of his own passionate love of human ity and his selfless devotion to the true and the good. In short, he is an "TJber- mensch," whose innate goodness of heart exceeds even his irresponsible power. World's Wofk. Couldn't See the Harm. The proprietor of a lunch cafe In 1 r 11 1 mm vine proprietor oi a iuugu taie m her Signature tO the IOllOWing letter, praiSeS Philadelphia was greatly agitated the O - - - nrhor dav tn discover r man at one of V T-t M V T 1 . 11 r ' .1 J I " i,yciia Eh, rinJoiam s vegeraoie vompouna mtyc i-o Mto PrKnrmur; ThftTA a-ra but few wives and mothers "who LA La " I Jf JJmM V " , man has done have not at times endured agonies ana sucn pain as oniy women Know. the tables feeding a saucer of cream to a cat. The restaurateur rushed over and commanded the man with the cat to remove his pet from the place. "But I paid for this cream," pussy's owner protested. "Here's your money back. We can't have cats eating here," said have to eat out of those dishes." Well," returned the patron In a sur prised tone, "don't you ever wash your dishes?" ' i EASES Altoona, Pa., June 20, 1903. I was afflicted with Tetter in bad shape. It would appear in blotches as large as my hand, a yellowish color, and scale oil. You can imagine how offensive it was. For twelve years I was afflicted with this trouble. At night it was a case of scratch and many times no rest at all. Seeing the good the medicine was doing a friend who was taking it for Eczema, X com menced it, and as a result the eruption be- fan to dry up and disappear, and to-day am practically a well man. Only two tiny spots are left on the elbow and shin, where once the whole body was affected. I have every confidence in the medicine. and feel sure that in a short time these two remaining spots will disappear. R R S. ia certatnlv a srreat blood puri fier, and has done me a world of good. T nm srateful for what it has accom plished, and trust that what I have said will lead others who are similarly afflict ed to take the remedy and obtain the same good results that I have. , 125 East Fifth Ave. John F. Lear. While washes, soaps, salves and powders relieve trtnnorarilv. thev do not reach the real cause of the disease. The blood must be purified before the cure is permanent. S.S.S. contains no potash, arsenic or mm- erai 01 any aesenpown, out is guaraniccu tnireiv vesfetaoie. Send for our book on the skin and its diseases, which is mailed free. Our physicians will cheerfully advise without charge any who write us about their case. Tot Swift Specific Company. Atlanta, Ga. lJVI.ffl.rT!ll.l,"1 ja.ww l:lr CUt MMEIi AIL USE Mil. 1 Couch Syra Tuua OooO. Um In ttma. Sold br draaist- Vnfiw the value of Xvdia E. Pinkliam's Vecretablo Compound. It is a remarkable medicine, different in action from any I ever knew and thoroughly reliable. T hnvA Rfm oases where women doctored for years without perm a- nent benefit,who were cured in less than three months after taking your couWn.t 8ee anything the matter with Vegetable Compound, while others who were chronic and incurable allowing pussy to teed in the restau came out cured, happy, and in perfect health after a . thorough treatment t and M "Matter!" echoed Witn uus meuiciiie. iiihyoucyci uacuiiui;ocu """ 0-- ijjjg proprietor. "Why, man, people Denenu A ie w uoses resturcs my butsukui uu. ih;iiic,uiu the entire system. Your medicine nas been tnea ana louna true, nence I fully endorse it." -Mbs. K. A. .Anderson, 225 YYa&tangton jacK- sonviiie, h la. - Mrs. Eeed. 2425 E. Cumberland St., Philadelphia, Pa., says : "Dkab Mrs. Fthtkham: I feel it my auty to write and tell you the good I have received from Lydia E. Pinkliam's Vegetable Com pound. "I have been a great sufferer with female trouble, trvine different doctors and medicines with no benefit. Two vears ago I went under an operation, and it left me in a very weak condition. I had stomach trouble, backache, headache. -Dalnitation of the heart, and was very nervous; ni tact, l acnea au over, i nna. vours is the only medicme that reacnes such troubles, and would cheerfully rec ommend IiydiaE.Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to all suffering women." WTiati wnmpn are troubled with irrejrular or nainful menstruation, weak' ness, leucorrhoM, displacement or ulceration of the womb, that bearing-down feeling, inflammation of the ovaries, backache, flatulence, general debility, tirostra.tion. thev should remember there is one tried and true remedy. L,ydia E. Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound at once removes such troubles. The, exnerlence and testimonv of some of tne most noted xromen of America ero to Drove, bevond a Question, that Ijydla E. Pinkliam's Vegetable Compound will correct all sucb trouble at once by removing the cause and restoring the organs to a neanny and normal condition. If in doubt, write Mrs. rinnnam at jjynn, Mass, as thousands do. Her advice is free and helpful No other medicine for women in the world has received such wide- snread and unatialified endorsement. No other medicine has sucn a record of cures of female troubles. Refuse to buy any substitute. Ayers For hard colds, bronchitis, asthma, and coughs of all kinds, you cannot take'any thing better than Ayers Cherry Pectoral Cherry Pectoral. Ask your own doctor if this is not so. He uses it. He understands why it soothes and heals. I bad a terrible conga for weeks. Then I took Ayer's Cherry Pectoral and only one bottle completely cored ma." Has. J. B. Dakfobth, St. Joseph, Mich. 25c., 50c., SI .90. J.O.AT1HOO, Arnpcis l"Or l'oweH' M)m. Coughs,Colds You will hasten recovery by tak ing one of Ayer'e Pills at bedtime Proper Classification. Rastns What kin' ob er dog am dat. Miss Snowball? Miss Snowball Dat am a expectora shun dog. Rastus What do yo' all mean by dat? Miss Snowball Why, he am a spitz. XiirTIKlHHato. wmwm The Czar aad Bis Books. Here Is a confession from the Czar i of All the Russias: "I love travenng, but only when I can do it in my own way. I never travel otherwise than at night, and spend my day visiting museums and quaint old streets and bazaars when I am in the east, antl- nnnrinn shons when in the north. I' am more of an Asiatic than a Euro pean' in my tastes, and I have not only a vast collection of Indian csrios and quite an army of Buddhas large and small, but also a library composed of books treating of Indian subjects alone, and another of books dealing with Egyptian law. Were I not well, what I am, I should be the greatest bookworm in the world." Mrs. Henry K. Sheldon has given $20,- 000 to the proposed university of hucis in Brooklyn. Strange as it may appear, it is a fact that no bird possesses the power to fly -backward. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take Laiative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drag gists refund the money If It tails to cure. Si. W. Grove's signature is on each box. 25c t Us Hope Not. Nell According to this paper girls are now wearing collars and cuffs made of rubber. Bess Good gracious! I suppose we will be wearing rubber hose next. ITor conehs and colds there is no bettex medicine than Piso's Cure for Consump tion. Price 25 cents. Her Opportunity. Her i have often wished I were at man. Him How would you like to be me? Her Oh, I'd like it immensely. Him Well, I know a minister who will make us one. FIRE PROTECTION! OLDEST HOUSE IN NORTHWEST Tjirminii cnmnlcte stock of Fire Apparatus, Hog and Department Supplies. Our goods are in use la nfarlv every .re Department. HEAVY COP. ER, BRAZED JOINTS, RELI ABLE FIRE EXT1NOU1SHERS "Bahcoefcs" $20, "Patrols" ?15, each. These are the Standard Extinguishers. Common Kxiinsnishers, with riveted joints, (12 each. A. G. LONG, Portland, Of WW; .thwt . n)nt. anvthlnff tlllt If you want to get the rI'Ji biggest returns tor tfAflib your labor and &vlkiit0 your ground, you can't afford SEEDS the standard after 49 years' test. Tbey always produce the largest and surest crops. -Ail aeaiers seii them. Our 1003 Seed Annual free on request. D. M.Ferry & Co. DETROIT, MICH. $5000 FORFEIT If we cannot forthwith produce the original letters and iljaaturtw of ill prove tneir rubuihwkouuiuiu.b.. ldi E. ftrnkhmrm Medicine Co., loron, Mas. her Btrennoua Life. The Mother Now, be careful, my son. and don't work too hard at col- Darling" exclaimed the happy hus- or Jou m inJure hea"h' Darling, excia vv Tfle SonDon.t worryt mother. Un der the new football rules there isn't half so much work required as for merly. band after the minister naa pro nounced the fatal words, "I am not worthy of you." "Of course, you are not," she replied; "but after a girl has prfebrated her twenty-fifth Dirtnaay for five consecutive years she can t ar ford to be too particular." Cincinnati Enquirer. Mr. Scranem, nmntPiir violinist at an evening How's This? nr. TTnnilr1 Dollars Reward fox n . j any case ot Catarrh that cannot be cured by HaU'SCawmure. . , n , the nndersigrned. have known F. J, DisooTereO. "Huh!" exclaimed Growells the other evpninir when he came home, "I see evi dence of crooked work around here dur- ine my absence. "Whv. John, what do yon mean 7" sked his astonished better half. "Oh. you can't deceive me, madam, he retorted. "You have been trying to drive nails." We. 9 ka l..t IK wnflrs. &nd helifiTS him said the hostess to perfectly honorable in all business transao- lions ailU IlIllluiaaAj J . an amateur vioumoi - - ligations made bv their firm. n Catherine, "you play the violin, do you wst& Tan ax. Wholesale Drufsta.Toiedo.o. not?" "Yes! after fashion, you lio&Um ., !,, mAaat renlr. "How u.h. r.itrrh Cure is taken internally, act- Know, wa MM,-. -r - "-Y-r7;-T, thA Wood and mucous sur- nice!" murmured half the company; TystSL Mea ?dc. per botUe. mured the other half of the company 18-rear-old daughter of Sir Chen- ..vrt iinisnn Galveston News. r .;,, nhenfe. Chinese minister to Ul " I huua - - . , Hodge (who has Just had a tooth the DW I sutes drawn) Well, guv'nor, how mucn ao . -t h-harn Chines -r for the iob? You did do it quick. Dentist My cuarge is two-anu It TTndsre Two-ana-sixi hut, a oia AMr flnvrn at our Dlace d rawed a will be the first high-born Chinese girl to enter American society. A Famous Seed House An instance of commercial develop- f ri for me once and it took him two mnt and srowth to proportions on ,Ani- h hauled me round ana rouna nanal is cited in the career oi me wen 1 . . . 1 a I . , a fx f T7 IL ft the room I never see a sucu um i tnown eeea nrm, u. i.i w'j -" .n,,.nii he only charged me a shill- Detroit. Mich. Since its establishment TV V m . 1 i. cm. half a century ago. the company, ioj- I r . . -. -. , . i ; Ar vou a fatalist Do you be- lowing out principals oi unci uuDinc . . , . v. :n lnteeriiy anu uuuumi i Ileve wnat i i u- tionable merit, has steadily grown nn- yes, to a certain extent. I believe, for the name QJ Ferry.B geeds is now a instance, when I draw my wtary that houBehold word with every planter in the coal trust ana me meai nui . . . the grocer and the milkman, and the Ferry's Seeds are famous for their rest of the people who make it their pQrity fr.ehnees and reliability. The business to get my money away irom greatest of care is exercieea in ineir me, are going to do it just as surely as growing and selection, and only seeds of the sun Is sure to rise to-morrow morn- the highest possible standard are placed . ,. RM.r.rrt-tTerald. noon the market. Every package has in. L' v. j i t a hnnH A farmer and his wife called at a . . , ta v.-Ant: in the photograph gallery to order some pho- . j. jaBt received tographs of her, and wane tne oper- growers, is carried by dealers aa. -Aarlv thA hiioha nf I d a tor was getuu j. i everywhere. 1 A 1!f1a a1VlAA O a Tf hAT0 I - - aa gave tne wiie """ I All farmers and gardeners ougnt xo she must act, "Fasten your mind on . of the 1905 ji cf aometning,- saiu ue, J"" " I , Frrv Comoanv. It contains m- laugh, and spile the job. Think about 10ation -nd BueireatioiM that are in early days; how your father got In valtuble. The Annual will be mailed Jail, and your mother was an old scold- flefl to anyone addressing D. M. Ferry er. ana wnar youu ua uu 4 Co., Detroit, Mich hadnt pmea you. jwi juur mind on to thatr She alan t nave any No circumstances can repair a defect photographs taken. ' v( character. Emerson, RUSSELL eng1nebW saVs High Grade thsKers Machinery The A. H. Averiil Machinery Co. PORTLAND, OREGON. Write for Catalogue and Prices. WB0aOTCUmlWinaCl rrl-r'-r'-r-T'-r-. -. jMirpauatKMflBBWMlBt. I-'.'.'t-t-t-'-v' ie CONTAINS 25,000 NE.W WORDS, E,tc. New Gazetteer of the World Now Biographical Dictionary X3SO Quarto Pajw. Jfmnt pistes. 5000 lllustratlo Should be in Every Home, School, and Office Kev. Lyman Abbott, D.D., Editor of The Outlook, says: Webster has always been th fmvtritt in our household, and I have seen no reason to transfer my allegiance to any of his competitors. FREE, "A Teat to Pronunciation,' ' Instruct! and entntalnlnf . Alsa Uluatiated pamphlets. ... G.QC. ME.RRIAM CO., Publishers. 8rloflld, Mu. P. N. U. No. 501904 jw BIS writing to advertisers pi e mention case paper. SS W. L. Dautilaa makes and esfts mop men'm $3-?p ' W ftoV. world. W. I. Dontrlas KJSO shoes are the (rested :Mller8 in JJJ 1" &rah,fdare?,f va8S Lookforlt-J take no substitute. Sold by shoe dealers everywhere. s SUPERIOR IN FIT, G OnaFOHT M have nam W, 1 satisactimu Jfind fitaTso hoVs7 Corona Colt la conceded to TV. I Jonsria u i V-r.Ti- K.vf-lt:tt4 used exclusively. be the nae.1 rUll muk . n.Vilc nekton. MaaachumHm. U ' Ask Ynnr Smear li NOT carried by local grocers, write Wadham St Co., who will advise where obtainable.