TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER.
ESTINQ ITEMS.
Commeata aad Criticisms Baaed TJpo
the Happenings of the Day U is tori
cal mad Nawa Notes.
Apparently It Is the open season In
Macedonia for almost everything.
It sometimes happens that the wom
an who is disappointed in love isn't
disappointed In marriage.
It Is announced that Alaska's great
need Is wagon roads. We thought cli
mate was its principal lack.
It is quite probable that a speedily
forthcoming theatrical venture will be
"Ths Van Wormer Brothers."
Thus we see that if an editor says
something severe about you in his pa
per, and you kill him. it is a case of
self-defense.
David M. Parry will go right ahead
solving the labor problem unless he
can be diverted to the Mary and Ann
controversy.
Another "expert" has discovered the
secret of determining sex at will, and
Nature will laugh him to scorn as she
has all his predecessors. ,
- V.lV.
mits you to violate the law with Im
punity so long as the responsible offi
cials raise no objections.
The Sultan of Turkey has levied a
heavy war tax. Thought the old bird
hadn't even a pluckable pin feather;
but Abdul knows how to use tweezers.
Even though the "government sci
entists prove that people eat too much.
It will be a difficult task to effect a
reformation unless hard times return.
Oh, horrors! We spend more on
chewing gum than on missions! Ah,
font by keeping some jaws busy, other
wise than in talk, we do the best kind
of mission work.
Capital punishment might restrain
crime if all murderers were put to
death, but no. such execution of the
law is to' be expected while human
nature is what is Is now.
An investigator with a microscope
and a large stock of patience has fonnd
out that there are 200 kinds of mos
quitoes. Some men are never happy
except when they are digging up tron
ble for other people.
As safe blowers have learned to use
electricity to promote their ends, the
nimble pickpocket may acquire the art
f the X-ray operator to locate the de
sired purse. In the progress of science
the wicked are not without their share.
The Shah of Persia still has some
very old-fashioned notions. For one
thing, he Insists on doing his own offi
cial poisoning when he wishes to put
any of his loving subjects out of the
way. Some crowned heads are so fussy
over these things. ? '!
One hundred and fourteen miles an
hour was the speed attained by an
experimental train on a new military
railway in Germany, and it is hoped to
run a train at the rate of two hun
dred miles in the same time. As pre
paredness for war means avoidance of
It nowadays, this indicates the Ger
man disposition to hasten toward peace
at a pretty rapid pace. '""-
The agreement between Great ; Bri
tain and France for a treaty of ar
bitration of commercial and political
differences is the most important vic
tory , for the arbitral principle since
the establishment of the tribunal of
The Hague. Particularly Is this agree
ment noteworthy because effected be
tween traditional enemies who for
centuries have been at war.
Americans have occasion to regret
on excellent feature in British ad
in';.i: -Oration. Under the system long
i:i u.e by that government diplomacy
is a profession. Men start at tiie bot
tom as attaches or consuls and go up
by promotion or merit to the highest
place, which is ambassador. This se
cures in the service officers who are
acquainted with many countries, who
peak many languages and have the
kill In diplomacy acquired by experi
ence. It is Tar different from our
eatch-aa-catch-can system, which of
fers no . career either in consular . or
diplomatic service.
The reluctance with which some per
sons took up the duties of life when,
the holiday season ended has reminded
a correspondent that at the beginning
of September the men of the Scotch
shipyards sometimes resort - to the
sporting method of a "toss-up" wheth
er they shall return to work or not
A brick is thrown Into the air. If it
stays up the men go back to the yard.'
If the brick comes down the holiday
is extended. To tired persons who be
lieve in "luck" and govern their lives
accordingly, this experiment can al
ways be depended upon to yield satis
factory results.
The frequency with which dangerous
cranks seek to gain access to the presi
dent should put an end for all time
to those senseless public receptions at
Which the president is expected to
stand up and let hundreds of - people
file in and shake his hand. This de
generate survival of the royal levee
baa long been an outrageous nuisance.
It has been used as an advertising card
for Washington excursion business and
parties of tourists have been taken to
Che receptions by a guide and put In
line to shake bands with the president,
Our president is not a king or a show
piece of any' kind, but a republican
magistrate, with important public bust
ness to attend to, and nobody ought
to have access to him for the gratl
ncatlon of idle curiosity.
yew trade movements of recent
years have been more notable than
the increased demand of our none for
the productions of the tropics. From
the United States is now bringing In
four times as many pounds of coffee,
Bugarandriceas it did in 1870, twice as
much' tea, five times as much india
rubber, and twenty-six times as mucli
i silk. Improvements In transportation
1 have enabled this remarkable develop
ment to take place. Better steamship
facilities, perfected cold storage appliances-
and the canning Industry
have brought within reasonable price
many fruits which were formerly too
expensive for general use. Even ban
anas, which are easily transported,
sold for eight cents each in country
stores in 1870. A Harvard professor
relates that when he was a . student
In college he used to welcome an in
vitation to dine with a certain famlly
because they served bananas. Many
other tropical products now abundant
ly used were the luxuries of a genera
tion ago. Their lowering cost on one
side and the increased means of the
American public on the other have re
sulted in an extraordinary Increase in
their use. Sugar and other articles,
which only a few years ago were em
ployed sparingly in many frugal house
holds, have become so cheap that there
is now little restraint on their use.
Similarly, there has been a great in
crease In the use of wheat and kero
sene oil by the people of the tropics.
"Very fittingly have the British made
botanical gardens a chief object of
Interest in many of their tropical cities,
like Singapore, or like Kandy in Cey
lon. The familiar household names of
their luxuriant trees and shrubs re
mind the visitor of the new depend
ence of the modern world upon the pe
culiar growths of the perpetual, sum-J
mer.
In New York a woman with three
children walked the streets searching
for a home. They found lodging in
a basement, and were told to "move
on" by the landlord. Her character
was all right She had references.
The children were the ordinary kind
of boys and girls healthy and noisy.
She bad money. She couldn't pay for
a palace, but she was ready to settle
in advance for a modest apartment.
The children were not wanted. They
were the obstacles, Impediments, fiat
nuisances. That is why the landlords
said, "Move on." It is why they say
"move on" in other cities. It isn't
right If our boasted civilization has
reached a point where a place called
home has children blacklisted, it Isn't
home at alL If a boycott on the little
folks is to be a part of life in a flat
then flats are by no means a bless
ing. This a world of averages. You
have got to put up with some things
that you do not like, and you should
accept the noise made by the neigh
bors' children gracefully, and thank
God that they can laugh and shout
and romp and be happy. The man or
woman who is grouchy because of chil
dren isn't right There must be some
thing wrong inside. The life that
doesn't Include Joy in the reflected hap
piness of boys and girls is a narrow
life. Don't blame the landlords too
much. They didn't bar children be
cause they are naturally hard-hearted.
Grumpy men and fretful women com
plained that other people's babies were
a nuisance. The -gruff old 'bachelor
refused to find any music in the merry
laugh of a child, and few women
found dogs better company than chil
dren. It is business to supply a de
mand, and so the landlords of .count
less flat buildings rubbed their' hands
and said to mothers and fathers of
fine families: "Very sorry, but we
can't rent to you because of your
broods." Once upon a time France
discouraged children. It was the great
est mistake ever made by a nation.
France has not recovered f rom ' the
error; to this day,- Perhaps she never
will. Isn't there danger for America
in flat regulations .that provide that
"hi children need apply."
Tragedy in Punctuation.
n:t. gj "was after,
Longed for fashion's swim.
But she said, with laughter,
She cared 0 for him.
? he propounded.
Caused no exultation, '
Then became dumfounded
At her !
'Twas like heaping :
Fire burning hot.
For he'd staked his soul on
Marriage with a .
Soon he made a for
- Nearest exit gate,
Found he had no cash for
' ; Dinner that he 8.
Quickly she relented,
Wrote that she'd be hia,
Told him she repented
In ( ) - ,-
Now they're living double,
Happy, strong and well; .
It seems the cause of trouble
Was a deadly j
Philadelphia Telegraph.
Beds and Bedsteads.
Bedstead originally meant "the bed's
place." The truckle-bed was the first
advance on the bench, ' and then the
tester suspended from the roof. Then
came in the Arabian bed a name, per
haps, derived from the Crusades. The
four-poster came from Austria in the
fifteenth century. The late Queen Vic
toria always carried her bedstead
about with her, and so did the nobles
in the Middle Ages. The coverlid, or
counterpoint, whence comes counter
pane, was often splendidly embroider
ed. Yet the beds at this time were
often only sacks of straw. Feather
beds came from France In the four
teenth century but- straw was In gen
eral use long after. Blankets of wool
were not introduced by Blanket of
Bristol, who made them, for the word
m the sense of a coarse woollen fabric
existed before.
Tb Latest Aaarealat Sear.
(Sketched on the Foot -ball Ground.)
-Pick-Me-TTp,
She Ada has married one man out
of a thousand. He Well, how many
did you expect her to marry?
Ethel I didn't know that your Aunt
Dorothy was married. Reggie Well,
she is. I guess I know, 'cause I went
to her funeral! LIpplneott's.
She lost her head when be proposed,
but he, a trifle bolder, made search
Tor it distractedly, and found it on his
shoulder. Philadelphia Record.
Rooney Where did ye git th black
eye, Moike? Clancy Why, Tim Do
lan's just back from his honeymoon
an' 'twas me advised Tim t git mar
ried. Judge. v
"Don't you think that woman's
clever?" "Clever! Why, she's so
clever she can make all her clothes
without other women knowing it!"
Brooklyn Life.
She I trust, Jack, our marriage will
not be against your father's will. Jack
I'm sure I hope not It would be
mighty hard for us if he should change
it Town and Country. N
Chlmmy How much fer dat dia
mond ring in dere de big one? Jewel
er1 Four hundred dollars. Chimmy
Say, Mag, would yer sooner hev dat
er a plate uv ice cream?
Snapp He's got a scheme for mak
ing money that seems to be all right
in theory. Skrapp Huh! All men with
theories are fools. Snapp Indeed?
Thafs your theory, is it? Philadel
phia .Ledger.
Briggs It's too bad about Winkle
and the girl he's engaged to. Neither
of them is good enough for the other.
Griggs What makes you think that?
"Well I've been talking the matter
over with both families." Life.
"This is a pretty time of night for
that girl next door to be playing the
piano!" remarked an Indignant lady
to her husband. "Oh, she's no respec
tor of time! Yon can tell that from
the way she's playing!" rejoined he.
Husband? Where did you get that
sideboard? Wife At an auction, for
$100. Husband Awful! I could have
bought the same thing for $50. Wife
Well, I wasn't going to let that wom
an across the way outbid me. Brook
lyn Life.
He The astrologer described you
exactly and said that I should marry
you. She Don't you think it was a
waste of money to consult him? He
Why? She I could have told you
the same thing myself if you had
asked me! . "
Man Dressmaker Well, what now?
Apprentice I have discovered a way
to make a woman's dress so that she
will look like a hump-backed baboon
with bat's wings. Man Dressmaker
Glorious! It will become the rage.
New York Weekly.
"It is her proud boast that she has
never heard an opera in her life." "You
must be mistaken. She isn't a Puritan.
at all, but quite a gay society girl."
"That's just it. She never goes to the
opera except as one of a box party."
Philadelphia Press.
He (as they were seated in a quiet
nook near the links) Are you quite
sure we have never met before this
season? She Yes; quite positive. H
And you haven't a sister? She No;
why do you ask? He Well, I'm posi
tjve I hugged that blouse before, some
where. "Aren't there some jealousies in your
progressive euchre club?' "No, in
deed," answered young Mrs. Torkins;
"when we buy prizes we are always
careful to select things that no one
really wants, so that the winner will
not be an object of envy." Washing
ton Star.
Mr. Kidder Ah, how-der-do, doctor!
If you have a few minutes to spare
I wish you would, come over to my
house and chloroform my youngest
boy. Dr. Price What is the matter
with the. lad? Mr. Kidder Oh, his
mother wants to comb his hair. Har
per's Bazar.
Creditor "See, here! Now that
you've come in, for some money, why
don't you pay my bill?" Slopay "Cer
tainly er I beg pardon what is your
name?" Creditor "Zlegler." Slopay
"Sorry, but you'll have to wait I'm
paying, my creditors! in alphabetical
order." Philadelphia Press.
"No," said the fair proprietor of the
refrigerator heart, "I cannot be your
wife, but I'll be a slater to, you."
"Thanks, awfully," rejoined the youth
who was left at the poet. "If there
is one thing I need more than another
it ia an elderly " sister to - look after
me and prevent me from making a fool
of myself." Chicago Daily News.
A girl about five years of age was
wandering around the other day, when
a policeman espied her, and asked,
"Where you going, sissy ?"-"Going
home." "Where is your home?" "I
can't find it" "Can't you? Then I'm
afraid you are lost." "Oh. no. I ain't!"
she promptly replied.' "I'm right here
but home is lost I wish you'd be good
and find it for me."
Aunt Jane They tell me you took
fifty dollars of Mr. Young's money at
the card table last night. I did not
know that you ever gambled. Nephew
That. wasn't gambling, auntie.
Young was quite elated at the hand
be held," and I bet with him merely
to give him a lesson not to trust too
much to appearances.- Aunt Jane
Oh, that was it, was It? I thought
you wouldn't be so wicked as to
gamble. BostonTranscript.
Toothsome Coal. .
A stroller through a big department
store in the shopping district was as
tonished to come upon a generous hod
of anthracite standing on a counter.
"Mercy me!" she ejaculated; "selling
coal right here in the middle of the
store?"
Looking farther she saw a sign,
"$300 a ton; good to eat; not to burn,"
and discovered itwas candy. New
York Times. ' "
When a woman is no longer able to
make a man jealous she may a well
five It up as a bad job. '
CHURCH SHIPPED BY FREIGHT.
Here Is one of the greatest curiosities
In church architecture.. The edifice
stands in Elchwald, Bohemia, the
idyllic health resort near Tepllfcz
Schoeneau, which is the property of the
millionaire Princ e Clary-Aldringen.
During a visit last year in Venice be
saw the beautiful church of the Ma
donna dell' Orta and was so charmed
with its architectural perfection and
artistic excellence that -'he commis
sioned the Venetian architect, Pietro
Bigaglla, to have an exact f ac simile
of the sanctuary constructed, and in
Venice. The various parts of the build
ing were made of Veronese marble and
Italian plaster, carefully numbered and
packed in thousands of boxes. These
were' shipped to Elchwald, where an
other architect was employed to super
Intend the putting together of all the
parts according to the original plan.
The freight am the-boxes and the cart
age from the depot to the church site
CHIEF JUSTICE ALVERSTONE.
Hia
Vote Settled Boundary Question
in America1! Favor.
The settlement of the Alaskan boun
dary dispute in favor of the Americans
is due to Lord Chief Justice Alverstone,
who voted with
the Americans for
all the points
claimed by them
except two. This
has been a bone
of contention be
t w e e n the two
countries for many
years and would
still be unsettled
but for the agree
ment between Am-
aiverstonk. bassador Herbert
and Secretary Hay, signed In January,
under which each country appointed
three commissioners. "" Those of the
United States were Elihu Root, Senator
Lodge and ex-Senator George F.' Turn
er, and the representatives of Great
CAflADMtH aouHDAKVUne.ClAlK&O.
1 I j
Britain were Lord Chief Justice Alver
stone, Sir Louis Jette. Lieutenant Gov
ernor of Quebec, and A. B. Aylesworth.
. -Under the terms of the treaty it was
not possible for the commissioners to
transfer Dyes, Skagway, J niveau of
any other American city from Amer
ica to British jurisdiction. But it did
lea ve ' opeBA the -question -whether the.
British could get to tidewater. This
had always been the Issue. The treaty
went at some length Into the claims
of both countries, but the main points
were based on the .meaning of Articles
III. and IV. of the Anglo-Russian
treaty of 1825, or, in other words,
whether the line of demarcation, in ac
cordance With the terms of the treaty,
was to be drawn thirty marine miles
from the coast of the Pacific ocean or
from the headwaters of the Lynn and
other canals Into the Canadian interior.
The British concession of agreeing to
three commissioners on each side with
out an umpire or referee was offset
by the willingness of the'. United States
to bold the deliberations of the com
mission in London nnder the presiden
cy of Chief Justice Alverstone. .The
commission held Its first formal meet
ing in London September 3, and dis
posed of the entire question in a little
more than two months.
By the decision of this tribunal. Lord
Chief Justice Alverstone voting with
the Americans,' the United States gets
all the territorylt has always claimed.
The Portland canal, which is an outlet
from British Columbia, Is given to Can
ada.' -
Lord Alverstone, whose decision has
not met with favor in Canada, is the
head of the highest judicial tribunal in
England, and has been since 1900. For
twelve years prior to this he was! At
torney General. ,
We should think that the wird
"love" would strike married people
much like a whiff of cooking after one
has had too much breakfast. ' v
'- ;- - -
'
Sari- ttHt
r
cost nearly $50,000. The cost of mate
rial and the wages paid to architects
and builders runs, over $300,000. The
prince's fad is a costly one, but to
his critics who aver that he could have
saved at least $150,000 he replies that
he considers the extra amount well
spent for art's sake, and that he be
lieves he could not have secured an
exact counterpart of the Venice cbui'ch
in any other way.
CONCEIT OF THE SOMALI.
Hia Good Opinions of Himself Are the
Subject i of Ilia Songs,
Perhaps the most remarkable charac
teristic of the natives of Somaliland is
their unbounded, preposterous conceit.
Englishmen who know their language
have been appalled by It. When water
ing his camel or his horse the Somali
encourages the animal to drink by
chanting to it in a monotone. It is at
such moments of extemporary effusion
that the man shines in all his glory.
The subject matter may be the experi
ences of the day's march, the virtues of
the animal beside him, the charms of
his latest wife, or his own prowess in
some bloodless tribal raid. By great
good fortune the following literal trans
lation of one of these chants or songs
came into my possession, and I insert
it without any comment:
"Will you see a man ? Then behold
me! I am a Somali, as perfect in size
and form as Adam was after God had
a
breathed into him his immortal soul.
Look bow beautiful my curly hair Is,
and how majestic I look when wrapped
from head to foot In my snow-white or
Jungle-colored i tobe, although there be
sometimes only one pie (a small piece
of money) tied to It. My house is the
desert, and I am born a free man. Free
as the windt ; I know-neither king nor
master. I am as Adam was, my own
master and king. In the jungle I tend
my camels and sheep; my only labor is
to watch them feed. In ray kerrier,
my wife, my dear . slave, does all th?
manual work, while tending my off
spring, and woe to her if she forgets
to prepare my evening meal. The jedal
(whip) shall then have its turn to make
her remember for next day A In such,,
a state is any man happier than I?"
Golden Penny, -
The Iron Pillar or Delhi .
The famous iron pillar of Delhi , is a
solid shaft of wrought iron, 16 inches
in diameter, and of a length that is
variously reported.' ' The tolal length
is from 48 to 60 feet underground and
above, including a capital of 3V feet.
The pillar contains about 80 cubic feet
of metal, and. weighs about seventeen j
tonsv The metal Is, of course, charcoal
iron, made directly from ore in small'
billets; but how it was welded up no
one can tell, as no record exists of any '
early method of dealing with great
masses of wrought iron. An inscrip
tion roughly cut or punched upon the
column states that Rajah Dhara sub
dued a people in the Surdbu. named
Vahlikos, and obtained with his own
arm an undivided sovereignty on the
earth for a long period.! The "date of
the inscription has been referred to the
third or fourth century after Christ,
but on this authorities are at variance.
After a man gets a nice home, he is
usually compelled to leave it for sev
eral months in the year, and live at a
poor hotel at some mineral sprinir. A
. . . . .......
t GO O D
4.
PriJi fAt"inf
4,il,.t.."M"I"l"M"i"l"l H -i r
Some time before the Civil War, and
while he resided in Southern Illinois,
John A. '-Logan once found it neces
sary to doubt the veracity of a mau
considerably older than himself, and
told him so. "Don't you call me a liar,
sir," said the man, excitedly; "I have
a reputation to maintain, and I mean
to 'maintain it if I -have to do it at the
point of a pistol." "Oh," Logan is
said to have calmly retorted, "That
won't be necessary. You maintain your
reputation all right every time you tell
a lie."
A colored barber thus explained to
Senator Hoar his reason for resigning
from a " certain African church: "I
jlned that chu'ch en good faiths and
de fust yeah I give $10 to'ds the stated
gospel, an' all de chu'ch people calls
me Brudder Dickson.' De second
yeah me biziness fell off, en I give $5;
en all de chu'ch people de.V call me
Mistah Dickson.' De third yeah I
feel so pohly dat I don't give nuthin'
t'll for preaching', en all de chu'ch peo
ple dey pass me by en say, 'Dat ole
niggah Dickson. After dat I quit
'em."
A well-known professor, having
boarded a few weeks' with a farmer
who was in the habit of taking a few
summer guests into his house to help
pay the rent, decided to spend his va
cation there again this year. In noti
fying the farmer of his intention, he
wrote: "There are several little mat
ters that I desire changed, should my
family decide to pass the vacation at
your house. We don't like the maid
Mary. Moreover, we do not think a
sty so near' the house is sanitary."
This is what he received in reply:
"Mary has went. We haint had no
hogs sence you went away last Sep
tember."
Rudyard Kipling once visited the
late Cecil, Rhodes at Lekkerwijn, one
of his fruit farms at Paarl, South Afri
ca. One morning. Rhodes went
round his farm before breakfast, leav
ing his guest, who was not so ener
getic, behind. Time went on, and
Rhodes did not appear. Hunger sqon
roused Kipling to action, and in a
short time he was very busy on his
own account. As Rhodes returned he
found his trees bearing a new kind
of fruit in the shape of placards, in
scribed in huge black letters with
"Famine!" "We are starving!" "Feed
us!" etc. On reaching the front door
he was confronted with the following,
in still larger type: "For the Human
Race Breakfast tones the mind,. In
vigorates the body. It has sustained
thousands; it will sustain you. See
that you get it." Then in the house, on
every available wall, he came across
other mysterious placards, in more and
more pathetic appeal: "Why die when
a little breakfast prolongs life?" Larg
er and larger grew the type: "It is
late, it Is still later," leading at last
Into the little breakfast room, where
he found Kipling reading his paper
in peaceful innocence, but very hun
gry. It did not need much ingenuity
to guess the author of these broadsides.
TRIALS OF THE NEWCOMER.
Lucky If He Kacapea Harsher Fata
Than a Nickname,
The instinctive attitude toward
strangers of people in self-contained
communities, in which there is but lit
tle coming and going, is one of hostil
ity, says.the Londou Globe. Traces of
this feeling a survival, surely, . from
the days of the tribal or village com
munity are still to be found even in
many places where the immensely in
creased facilities for intercom munica
tiou have broken up and almost abol
ished the old isolated modes of life.
There are still old world rural parts
where tboso who come from or belong
to other districts are generally styled
"furriners." But this is really a sur
vival of modfcievalisni. . v
Connected with the old hostile atti
tude toward the outsider is the custom,
which is found all over the world, of
du!bing the . newcomer, whether to
country or town, or profession, with a
nickname, humorous or satirical. In
the far West of America or Canada he
who comes : fresh from the East or
from Enrojie is a "tenderfoot." Orig
inally, no doubt, the name was almost
literally true. A backwoodsman, or
frontiersman, is a tolerably tough and
hardened individual, and a newcomer
from more civilized parts would prob
ably find he deserved the name of
"tenderfoot" before he had been long
on the tramp. But, of course, the epi
thet soon gained a wider application,
and became a label for a fresh, arrival
of any "kind: ' Another western name of
like meaning was "pilgrim."
In India for many a long year the
newcomer has always been known as
a "griffin," usually. . shortened to
"griff"; but no one has yet been able
to explain the origin of the term.
In the Malay peninsula newly im
ported Chinese coolies are known as
"sinkeys," but why we cannot say.
Australia, of course, has its own nick
names for the newcomer. When he
arrives fresh from the old country he
is a "new chum" or a "lime juice" and
usually bears the marks of his new
ness thick upon him in the shape of
bis clothes,- the topics of his talk, and
the like. If he goes inland or up the
country, as the Australians would say,
and settles down on a sheep or cattle
station, so as to get practically ac
quainted with the work on a large run,
and thus learn the details essential to
successful sheep or cattle farming, he
is known' at first as a "colonial experi
ence" or a "jackaroo."
The application of nicknames is not
confined to fresh immigrants in any
country or colony. The habit is found
In existence in many other directions.
In military slang a recruit is a "rooky,"
and many other occupations have par
allel nicknames for the novice, the
raw hand, the greenhorn who is not
necessarily, a simpleton. "Greenhorn"
Itself was used in the seventeenth cen
tury as a name for a raw recruit when
"greener" is commonly used in London
at the present time among sweating
employers as a term for newly arrived
foreigners in search of worl. who are
: - -V ' - r ' ;
just the materia to serve the sweater's
purpose. - .'
At English universities, again, the
undergraduate in his first year has
been known for centuries as a "fresh
man," which recent Oxford slang, with
its idiotic love for making "er" a uni
versal termination, turns into "fresh
er." Across the Atlantic freshman is
similarly used, while a vsecond-yeai-student
is dubbed a "sophomore," a
name unknown on this side.
At German universities men rejoice
in a variety of strange names. In one
of the chapters of Longfellow's "Hy
perion" the reader may make the ac
quaintance of the Nasty-Foxes, other
wise freshmen; Branders, or second
term men; mossyheads, old ones and.
princes of twilight. Most of them
sound delightfully meaningless, which,
is one of the recognized beauties of
cant terms.
THE CANALS OF EUROPE.
This Means of Transportation Rc
gaining Long-Lost Prestige.
"In nearly all the commercial coun
tries of Europe," says United States
Consul Ilossfield In an official report.
the canal seems to be regaining its.
long-lost prestige. Germany has ex
pended during the last ten years hun
dreds of millions of marks for the con
struction or artificial water courses,
and Austria will expend during the-,
next nine years no less than 325.000,-
000 crowns f$fiT QTiVOOO fnr n lik mm
pose, while Italy seems to be deter
mined not to remain far behind in the
improvement of inland navigation. '
"About two years ago the Italian,
government, appointed a commission ta.
investigate and report upon the advis
ability of establishing a system of na
tional waterways in the northern part,
of the kingdom. This commission rec
ommends the establishment of a net
work of inland water courses of a total
length of 2,112 miles. This great work
can be achieved the more easily be
cause northern Italy has already 1,677
miles of navigable rivers and canals
and these can be connected with each
other by a system of auxiliary canals
of a total length of less than 434
miles. The commission estimates the
total cost of the proposed improve
ments at $22,774,000. ;
"The main line of the proposed sys
tem would be a canal connecting
Venice with Milan and Turin. Another
canal would connect Milan with Bo
logna and a third Bologna with Venice.
It is further proposed to open an in
land water course from Venice to the
Austrian frontier, for which purpose
the rivers Stella, Corno and Ausca
could be utilized. .
"An improved system of water high
ways would be a powerful stimulus to
the farms and factories of northern
Italy, enabling manufacturers to col
lect their raw materials and fuel with
less labor and expense, and opening
more distant and more profitable mar
kets for both industrial and agricul
tural products.
"It Is worthy of note that some of
the canals which it is proposed to
make use of in this national system of
waterways- were constructed nearly
500 years ago and that one of them is
known to have been equipped with lift,
locks as early as 1497."
GROUSE IS A CLEVER BIRD.
It vadea the Hunter by Tricks that
Display Its Intelligence.
It has 100 tricks of defense. It will
sometimes lie still until the hunter is.
within a yard of it, then soar straight
upward in his front, towering like a
woodcock; again, it will rise forty
yards away, and the sound of its. wings.
is his only notice of its presence. It
Avill cower upon a branch under which
he passes, and his cap will not be more
than a foot below it as he goes, and
though it has seen him approaching, it,
will remain quiescent in frightful fear
until his back is turned. It will" flush
then, and when he has slewed himself
hurriedly around he will catch only a
glimpse of a brown, broad wing far
away.
Wounded and falling in the open.' it
will be found if it is found at all
with the telltale speckles of its breast
against the trunk of some brown tree
against which its feathers, are indis
tinguishable, and the black ruff about
the neck of the male will be laid
against the darkest spot of the bark.
Often it will double like a fox; often,
as man draws near, it will spring noise
lessly into some spruce and hide until
he passes, dropping then to the ground
and continuing its feeding; often, too
It will decline to take wing, though
unhurt, and will run fast for a half
mile so fast that the most expert
woodsman will be unable to keep pace
with it. This it will do ouly on leafy
ground and never when snow would
betray its tracks. Outing.
Origin of "Mrs. Grundy."
In Morton's-clever comedy, '"Speed -the
Plough," Farmer Ashfleld, at table
with his jug and pipe, is talking to.
his wife on her return from market
"Well, - dame, welcome whoam.
What news does thee "bring vrom mar
ket?" "What news, husband? What I al
ways told you, that Farmer Grundy's
wheat brought five shillings a quarter
more than ours did."
"All the better foor he!"
"Ah! the sun seems to shine on pur
pose for him."
"Come, come, missus, as thee has not
the grace to thank God for prosperous
times, dan't thee' grumble when they
be unkindly a bit."
"And I assure you Dame Grundy's
butter was quite the crack of the
market."
"Be quiet, wool ye? Always ding
dinging Dame Grundy into my ears;
'What will Mrs. Grundy say?' 'What
will Mrs. Grundy think?' Canst thee
be quiet; let her alone, and behave thy
self pratry?" Answers.
The Ancient Sages. ' .
"After all, it's the wise man who
can change his opinion."
"But the wisest men simply can't
do it."
"Why not?'
"Because they've been dead for
year." Philadelphia Press.
Ancient and Modern Volcanoes.
There are about 350 volcanoes on
this earth that have performed in mod
ern times. There are many hundreds
more that have long been extinct.