100 Doses
For One Dollar
Kmnnmir in-medicine must
be
hv twn thinzs cost an
d
pfrrt. Tt cannot be measured by
pithpr alone. Jt is greatest in that
medicine tbat does tne most for
the money tbat radically and per
manently cures at the least ex
pense. That medicine ia
Hood's Sarsaparilla
It purifies and enriches the blood,
cures ni mules, eczema and all
eruptions, tired, languid feelings
loss of appetite and general debility,
'I have taken Hood's 8trMHriU nd found
It reliable and firing perfect satisfaction. It
takes away tbat tired feeling, gives energy and
mu the blood in rood condition." MissEffis
COLOMHE, 1535 10th Bt.,N. W.t W ashington, V
Hood" Saraaparllta promlmma
euro and kmmpm thm prom lam.
c.
Quieting Suspicion.
"My dear," said the Suspicious
Wife, "this sealskin jacket you gave
me for Christmas has the odor of gaso
line."
"Very likey," answered the Crafty
Husband. "But you know Santa Claus
ia usinc an automobile now.
Nevertheless, she had her doubts
ahont it. fearin? he had dui chased tne
garment second-handed of a cleaner.
Baltimore American.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth.
Ing Syrup the best remedy to use lor their
children during the teething period.
Sure Sign.
Jester Dobster has in him the mak
ins of a treat artist.
Jimson What makes yon think so?
Jester Because he painted a picture
recently, and when he looked at it,
later, he couldn't tell what the sub
ject was. Ohio State Journal.
FITS
IlTl
after tiratI&Tfliitof Dr. Klias's Greet Nenrs
Bartonr. Send for FREKf'i.OO trial bottle nd treat.
ia. la.K.ll.KLiNl,lita..V4i arcu3i..rnueaeipaia,ra)
At the Pecks.
"Humph!" said' Mrs. Henry Pet k,
"this paper has a lot of alleged jokes
about women giving their husbands
cigars for Christmas presents. I think
that any woman who is fool enough to
give her husband a box of those vile
things ought to why, where has
Henry gone?"
But Henry was out in the hall shak
ing hands with himself. Baltimore
American.
Ask Tonr Dealer for Allen's Foot-Ease,
A powder. It Cures Swollen, Sore, Hot, Callous,
Achlng.Hweating Feet and Ingrowing Kails. Makes
new or tight shoes easy. At all Druggists and Shoe
stores, 25 cents. Accept No Substitute. Sample
Free. Address Allen 8. Olmsted, LoKoy, N. Y.
France Lowers Rates for 'Phones.
The minister of police and tele
graphs, M. Millerand, announces a
general reduction in the price of tele
phone service throughout France. In
Paris the rates are reduced from 80 to
f 60 per year.
Another reform is the reducing of
the charge for pneumatic transmitted
meseages from 10 to 6 cents.
Stop guessing ! Try a certain cure for
all painful ailments by getting at once a
bottle of Hamlin's Wizard Oil.
The Red Paint
"Scuh a joke on Mr. Gayboy! We
were out on the balcony between the
dances, and he got the sleeve of his coat
all over red paint from one of the posts
that were just painted."
Maud And did you go near the
post?
"No. Why?"
"Because you have red paint all over
the back of your waist." Harlem Life.
There is a great deal of satisfaction
to the busy housewife in the thought
that she can send to her grocer for a
certain brand of canned goods and feel
sure that she will be pleased with her
purchase. You can always have confi
dence in the result if you ask for and
insist upon Monopole canned goods.
They are as pure and good as extreme
care and careful selection can make
them.
Needed Invention.
The man who had reached the pina
cle of wealth by a sudden spurt drew
the typewriter salesman aside and
said; "Er haven't you some kind of
a machine that will help a man who
has been careless with his spelling?"
"Oh, yes," responded the salesman;
"here ia one that will blur any word
when it is doubtful; all you have to do
is to press the key." Chicago Daily
News.
A Kansas Obituary.
A Kansas editor wrote this obituary
notice: "He was born May 3, 1875,
and therefore escaped this earth in time
to celebrate his 27th birthday in the
house of his eternal abode beyond the
archin skies, leaving terrestrial land on
Friday, March 19, 1902, at 9:30 p. m.,
central time.
Bronchitis
" I have kept Ayer's Cherry Pec
toral in my house for a great many
years. It is the best medicine in
the world for coughs and colds."
J. C Williams, Attica, N, Y.
All serious lung
troubles begin with a
tickling in the throat.
You can stop this at first
in a single night with
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral.
Use it also for bronchitis,
consumption, hard colds,
and for coughs of all kinds.
Tsrsestxss: Uc. Ssc.Jl. AUsrsntats.
Oeaamlt year doctor. If he says take It,
ms t as ae says. If fa tall; jom ant
to tek It, than don't taka It. Ha kaewa.
I .aais it wlta mm. we are wining.
J. C. AT CO, Lowell Mass.
OMENS ABOUT BREAD.
WHAT HOUSEWIVES HAVE BE
LIEVED FOR CENTURIES.
They Hake the Don-" Nowsdsjs wltlt
the Sign of the Crow, Jnat aa the
Ancient Romans Did Superstitions
that Die Slowly.
It would be surprising. Indeed, if
there were not many superstitions
about bread. The one Indispensable
article of food is naturally In every na
tion a favorite subject of folk lore. No
French peasant begins a new loaf with
out crossing it with the knife. The
English superstition that bread cracked
in the baking portends misfortunes In
the family has taken root in America.
In Germany, too, the housewife still
believes that cracks on the top of the
loaf of bread indicate the death of some
one in the household, or. perhaps, mis
fortune to a dear friend, while cracks
on the lower jslde of the bread are
taken to indicate a birth.
As many of us know, our bakers
mark the sign of a cross upon the
dough before placing it in the oven.
The reason for making this sign be
comes plain when we know the origin
of the custom.' Almost all our super
stitious about bread date back to
old pagan days, though they have been
greatly modified so as to conform to
Christian beliefs. With the ancient
Romans, the baking of bread and cakes
was often Invested with a religious
significance, especially the cakes of
fered to the gods and goddesses. These
cakes were prepared In a particular
way, and after being marked with the
symbol of the deity in whose honor
they were offered, they were supposed
to possess supernatural virtues.
The old domestic practice was modi
fied when Christianity became triumph
ant, and, In place of a pagan symbol.
the early Christian housewife not only
used to make the sign of the cross
when she began to knead the dough.
but she marked that sign upon her loaf
before placing it in the oven. Why?
Simply because the sign of the cross is
the recognized Christian protecting
mark against the attacks of evil spirits,
witches and the like. Hence, bread
marked with the cross is' supposed to
be witch proof, will bake all right, not
crack across the top, etc.
Just as the Jews hare Passover
cakes, and other peoples hare had spe
cially prepared fowl for their religious
festivals, so Christians have cakes for
certain seasons. Our hot cross buns
on Good Friday are simply modern
representatives of the cakes used at
some old pagan festival. In days gone
by, the cakes and buns baked at Eas
ter were supposed to possess great vir
tue. Thus, it is an old belief that the
observance of eating cross buns on
Good Friday insures, so to speak, the
house from fire for the coming year.
We still eat a certain kind of pancake
on Shrove Tuesday. The practice Is
referred to in "All's Well That Ends
Well," where the clown speaks, of a
'pancake for Shrove Tuesday." In
"Pericles" they are called "flapjacks"
a term still used in country districts. '
In truth, to study the superstitions
about bread is to take a wide lesson
In folk lore. These superstitions relate
to the kneading trough, the oven, bak
ers and bread. For Instance, in many
parts of France the "arche" or knead
ing trough, is more than a rude kitchen
utensil: It Is often a pretty bit of furni
ture. M. Seblllot, who has collected
many of the superstitions of the
French folk relative to bread, quotes
the story of a thief who entered the
window of a bouse with intent to com
mit burglarybut refused to step on
the trough still containing the dough,
believing that to do so would be an
Impiety. This Is similar to the Ameri
can story of two hungry burglars who
refused to satisfy their hunger with
the meat which they found In a well
stocked larder because it was Friday.
A writer In one of our magazines
says that In Gottland the cross is still
signed before the oven fire is lighted
or the dough kneaded. This practice
is very Common In the country districts
all over Europe. In Brittany the house
wife makes the sign of the cross with
the right hand while she places the
left hand In the trough. After the
dough Is kneaded the lid of the trough
Is shut, and so Is the door; for if a
cat should enter the room the bread
would not rise. Certain charms of in
vocations are used to cause the bread
to multiply Itself. Thus, the peasant
housewife adjures the dough to Imi
tate the leaven, the wheat, the miller,
and to rise. She would be very angry
If any one should sing or whistle In the
room while she is making the loaf.
In some parts of Europe the bake
oven Is almost a sacred object In cer
tain places of Brittany, for example.
It is dedicated with ceremonies; the
wood is sprinkled with blessed water:
the proper heat Is attested by the melt
ing of a bottle, and, finally, an egg Is
broken for luck. Besides, there arc
certain days on which bread must not
be baked, as on Good Friday or during
the night of All Saints, when the
ghosts would be sure to eat It. House
hold Words.
HAD TO NAME HIMSELF.
How Mr. Payne Managed to Get on
a Committee.
How much embarrassment a very
small deviation from the customary
paths of procedure can cause the one
who' makes It on the floor of the
House of Representatives was Illus
trated one morning when Mr. Payne
of New York, Republican floor leader
and chairman of the Ways and Means
Committee, undertook to secure the
appointment of a conference commit
tee on a bill wuich the Senate had
passed with 6llght amendments over
the provision as It passed the House.
To those who do not know the meth
od pursued In the appointment of con
ference committees, the versatility of
the speaker In selecting such commit
tees is usually surprising. All Is easy,
however, when the chairman of the
committee from which the bill comes
complies with the practice. He simply
pins a little slip of paper to the docu
ment on which Is written the names
of the members be desires appointed
and the speaker In announcing the
committee reads these names, of
which the chairman ntmseSt Qa the
list. ' - .- . .. ' -
In the case hi question Mr. Payne
forgot to prepare his little slip, and af
ter he had secured the unanimous con
sent the speaker suddenly noticed the
lapse on the part of the "gentleman
from New York," and with a twinkle
in his eye he very distinctly question
ed, "who would the gentleman from
New York like appointed on that com
mittee?" A profuse blush mounted Chairman
Payne's broad countenance. He
glanced hurriedly around at bis Col
leagues and the merriment he saw on
their faces only produced another
blush. It was "up to" Mr. Payne to
name himself as the head of the con
ference committee.' He uttered an au
dible "ah" and stopped again. By s
time all the old hands at legislation
on the floor were enjoying Mr. Payne's
dilemma, and a hush spread over the
chamber. Mr. Payne made a bold
plunge to have it over and haltingly
and blushingly pronounced the words;
"I suppose It ought to be the chair
man of the committee and Mr. Dalzell
and Mr. Richardson."
At this point, says the Washington
Star, the smile became audible around
Mr. Payne and the speaker, who was
also enjoying the joke, announced In a
ringing voice, "The chair appoints Mr.
Payne. Mr. Dalzell and Mr. Richard
son." After Mr. Payne had received
the mock congratulations of a dozen
or so members, he hastened to the of
ficial stenographer and whispered in
structions that nothing unusual be
made to appear in the Record.
NOTHING LIKE THE FRESH AIR.
It Won't Hnrt Woman's Complexion
in Any Weather.
"New York women will continue to
have to run to the complexion special
lsts," said a physician, "until they
learn to appreciate fresh air better.
The air need not necessarily be cold,
but it must be fresh. It should be re
membered that catching cold depends
a great deal more on stale air and
draughts than upon cold air, and the
very worst colds are caught when one
is tired and goes out into the air feel
ing fagged. To avoid colds and keep
one's health be sure that the air Is
good. Let there be free ventilation.
With care tbls can be secured wltbdut
draughts or an oversupply of cold air.
"I went into a living-room a few
days ago. The walls were hung with
pictures and the door with tapestries.
The windows were richly decorated
with hangings and on the panes hung
costly transparencies. But they were
tightly closed, and though the room
was neither too hot nor too cold. It
was Intolerably close. When I escap
ed into the air I remembered having
noticed a large swelling upon the chin
of one of the two daughters. The
mother was nursing a cold sore. The
other daughter had simply a wretched
complexion. 1 thought It doubtful If
merely opening the window would
have cured these women, but I am
sure that they would have had Infin
itely better health could they have had
better air in which to sit and work.
"No danger to the complexion need
be feared, even from the freezing air
of. winter. If proper precautions are
taken. If I were a woman with a deli
cate skin before I went out on a very
cold day I would rub a little cream
into my skin, and I would wear a veil
without dots, at least without dots
where the eyes came, and I would get
one as thin as possible, so as not to
interfere with my enjoyment of the
ulr. Then I . would go out Into the
weather, sure that I would not be
roughly used. A healthy woman, tak
ing such care of herself, may chap a
little and redden much, but the clear
pink and white or olive and red of her
complexion will always show to ad
vantage. New York Sun.
DAMAGES FOR MORPHINE HABIT
Curious Lawsuit Recently Tried in the
Knglish Courts.
The English medical journals con
tain reports of a curious law suit
which has just been on trial in an En
glish" court. A nurse brought action
against her physician for alleged mal
practice in prescribing morphine for
her In therapeutic doses, and thereby
inducing in her the morphine habit.
The doctor was accused of negligence
and a desire to get rid of a trouble
some patient. It is to the credit of
the Jury that, having heard the plain
tiff's side of the case, they stopped the
trial, and expressed the opinion that
the action ought never to have been
brought.
The case suggests some rather curi
ous reflections. We do not doubt that
some physicians are sometimes rather
careless In prescribing such drugs as
morphine and cocaine; but it would be
difficult to apportion the exact degree
of responsibility and the exact amount
of damages, if every morphine fiend
were to have redress in court from
every physician who had ever pre
scribed a dose of such drugs for him
or her. The precedent established by
one such case would -be rather dis
quieting to every doctor In active prac
tice. In this English case the fact
that the plaintiff was a nurse, and
knew well the dangerous effects of
the drug which she continued taking
of her own accord, should have been
enough to satisfy her lawyers that she
had no claims either In justice or In
law. Such remote consequences are
hardly to be appraised at a money
value, or to be ascribed to the fault of
a physician who had merely given the
drug In therapeutic doses. Philadel
phia Medical Journal.
Great Droughts in England.
-The first great drought on record hap
pened In 678 and the two succeeding
years, .when, according to the. records,
there was practically no rainfall In
England. In 879 the springs in Eng
land were dried up and it was impossi
ble for men to work In the open air.
In 993 and 994 the nuts on the trees
were "roasted as tf In an oven."
After a man weighs 170 pounds, a
day never passes that someone does not
tell him that be is getting fat This is
the experience of a man who has not
gained two pounds In ten years.
In going Into a store to file a kick,
say, "There was a mistake made," in
stead of "You made a mistake."
of rJoihcrCm
What offering' frequently results
from a mother's ignorance; or mora
frequently from a mother's neglect to
properly instruct her daughter I -.
Tradition says " woman must . suf
fer," and young' women are so taught,
there is a little truth and a great deal
f exaggeration in this. If a yotug
roman suffers severely she needs treat
cent, and her mother should see that
the gets it. -
Many mothers hesitate to"take their
daughters to a physician for examina
tion : but no mother need hesitate to
write freely about her daughter or
herself to Mrs. Pinkham's Laboratory
at Lynn, Mass., and secure from a
woman the most efficient advice with
out charge. -
r-1
MBipftgSjf.
Mrs. August Pf alzgraf, of South
Byron, Wis., mother of the young lady
whose portrait we here publish, wrote
in January, 1899, saying her daughter
had suffered for two years with irreg
ular menstruation had headache all
the time, and pain in her side, feet
swelled, and was generally miserable.
She received an answer promptly with
advice, and under date of March, 1899,
the mother writes again that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound cured
her daughter of all pains and irregu
larity. Nothing in the world equals Lydia EL
Pinkham's great medicine for regu
lating woman's peculiar, monthly
troubles. -
Another Reason.
"I thought Biffkins said he was go
ing to church this morning."
"No. The minister asked him to
give his reasons for not going, and he
is staying at home to write them."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What He May Have Meant
Miss Smith The doctor told mother
tbat I'll never see forty. Do you think
that be means that I have a fat
malady? -
Miss Judson Not at all ; he means
that you'll never get through being
thirty-nine.
Close Call.
Clara I had an awful time when I
refused him.
Maude How do you mean?".
Clara Why, he took it in earnest,
and I had to explain that I didn't
mean it. Town Topics.
The Neighborly Quality.
Mrs. Ascum She is a very neighbor
ly woman, isn't she?
Mrs. Snappe Yes; she's forever
poking into other, people's business.
Philadelphia Press.
A Pecuniary Fatigue.
"Don't forget," said the willing
worker, "that money talks."
"Yes," answered Senator Sorghum, a
little gloomy, "but Ican't help wiehing
you boys would select another phono
graph occasionally." Washington
Star.
As Mr. C Understands.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak Before she waa
married, I understand, she used to
dance for money.
Mr." Crimsonbeak And now, I
understand, if she don't get money,
she makes her husband dance. Yonk
ers Statesman.
F orewarneti,
The liability to disease is greatly
lessened when the blood is in good con
dition, and the circulation healthy and
vigorous. For then all refuse matter
is promptly carried out of the system ;
otherwise it would rapidly accumulate
fermentation would take place, the
blood become polluted and the consti
tution so weakened that a simple
malady might result seriously.
A healthy, active circulation means
good digestion and strong, healthy
nerves.
As a blood purifier and tonic S. S. S.
has no equal. It is the safest and best
remedy for old people and children
because "it contains nominerals, but is
made exclusively of roots and herbs.
No other remedy so thoroughly and
effectually cleanses the blood of im
purities . At the
same time it builds
up the weak and de
bilitated, and reno
vates the entire sys
tem. It cures permanently all manner
of blood and skin troubles.
years,
white pustules, oruata would form and
droo off. leaving fhm akin r.ri and inflam
ed. The doctors did me no rood. I used
-all the medicated soaps and salves without
uouoiiu o. o. o. curea me, ana ciy sun
is as clear and smooth aa any one's."
Mrs. Henry Siegfried, of Oape Kay, H".
J., says that twenty-one bottles of 6. 8. S.
cured her of Cancer of the breast. Doc
tors and friends thought her case hope
less. Riohard T. Gardner, Florence, 8. O.,
suffered for j ears with Boils. Two bot
tles of S. 8. tf. put his blood in good con
dition and the Boils disappeared.
Send for our free book, and write
our physicians about your case.
Medical advice free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO, ATLANTA. M.
Hi
PRUSSIAN LICE KILLER kills
LICE on Poultry. Hl.
kill the lice. Never fails. Sold by dealers, 50c and $1.00 per can.
CLEANED OUT ALL THE LICE ANDMITE8.
Albert Blocker of caaakusea, Minn., bought a can ol rrnasian Lice Killer and
used it thoroughly tare, times aad cleaned his poultry house entirely free from
lies aad mite . Before ustna", th. poultry bans, wu alive with red lice and mites
JUST THE THIHC FOR LICE OH HOCS. ,
3. H. Malcne. of A del. 4o says th. Prussian UceKlUer is Just the thing for lice
on hogs, and is worth na
tunes I
IS. J. BOW UN, Coast Agents,
STBONGEK AKD BETTER THAN COMMON HAIXOCK'S OE ANY OTHER BERRY BOX
NEW PATENT FOLDING BERRY BOX.
No Staples. No Tacks. Opens like s paper box, ready for use.
IMMENSE SCCCE&.
SAMPLE BOX FREE. LAMBERSON, PORTLAND, OR.
Ask for the best em
broca.tior. you'll get
St. Jacobs
Oil
This is the sign.
It gives confidence.
Ask for St. Jacobs
Oil. Yoxi will get
the Best. It ha,&
Conquered Pain for
Fifty Years.
A Stretch.
Broncho Bill So you've lynched th
wrong feller?
Rough Rube Yes. We imagined
he was th feller that stole th' hoss,
but he wasn't.
Broncho Bill Huhl You should be
careful how you stretch your imagina
tion. Life.
She Did.
"I'll get even wid 'em, for dis
chargin' me!" mumbled the cook lady,
lifting up the register and dropping a
pair of her old shoes down the hot air
pipe, just before she went away.
And those old shoes avenged her for
nearly a week before the family found
out what was the matter. Chicago
Tribune.
Twice Rfjected.
Wederly Was that your sister I saw
you with last evening?
Singleton Yes ; one of them.
Wederly Why, I wasn't aware that
you had more than one of them.
Singleton I have three. One by
birth and two by annexation. Chi
cago Daily Newa-
His Market Was Brooklyn.
"No sir!" exclaimed the loud
mouthed drummer in the smoker.
"I'm proud to say that no house in the
country has more men pushing its line
of goods than ours."
"What do you sell?" asked a curious
one.;
"Baby carriages." Syracuse Herald.
Wanted to Try It
Farmer Yes; I work from daylight
to dark.
City Man You're not troubled with
ennui, are you?
Farmer No; I've heard of the
blamed thing, and sometimes I feel as
if I'd like to have a little of it, for a
change. New Orleans Times-Democrat.
His Turn Next.
Kind Gentleman Why are you cry
ing, my little man?
Little Boy Because my ma is lickin'
my little brother for something wot I
done.
Kind Gentleman What a conscien
tious little gentleman.
Little Boy But my brother'll tell
her it wuz me, and then I'll ketch it.
Boo-hoo. Ohio State Journal.
The One to Avoid.
Old Man If you would select a
good wife, my young friend, you must
avoid the descendants of a ceratin fam
ous woman.
Young Man I. shall certainly heed
yoru advice. Who was she?
- Old Man Eve. N. Y. Weekly.
Out of a Knothole.
He (just introduced) What a home
ly person that gentleman is near the
piano, Mrs. Black.
She Isn't he. That's Mr. Black.
"How true it is, Mrs. Black, that the
homeliest men always get the prettiest
wives." Tit-Bits. .
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY,
Genuine
Carter's
Uttle Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature off
fee Pac-Slmile Wrapper Below.
Tear assail ami aa easy
te.take as sugaz.
FOR HEADACHE
FOR DIZZINESS
FOR BILIOUSNESS.
FOR TORPID LIVER.
FOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW SKIN.
FOR THEC0MPLEXIQ1
. -. , ostmim amar awa siwiatiws. 1
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
Portland, Ore., end Seattle, Wash.
CARTER'S
my-
Gift from queen Nathalie.
Gold Cross One of Miss Clara Barton.
" , Host Valued Souvenirs.
One of the most beautiful of Miss
Clara. Barton's foreign souvenirs is a
testimonial she received on the eve of
her departure for Geneva as delegate
tr tne Red Cross International Con
vention In 1884 from Nathalie, then
Queen of Servia. It is a massive gold
cross, the body of which Is red en
amel, with the Servian coat-of-arms in
gold on ,one side and the date of their
accession to the brotherhood, 1876, on
the other. But the most delicate part
of this compliment resides in the fact
that the cross is mounted on our own
red, white, and blue ribbon, thus en
abling Miss Barton to wear the colors
of her country even when donning the
badge of Servia.
A diploma creating her a member of
the Servian Society came with this
cross from the president of that asso
ciation, together with a letter declar
ing them a recognition of her services
to the brotherhood and the Servian
wounded during the France-Prussian
war. Miss Barton's reply to the
queen is so very symbolical of the
truest republican dignity that it is
transcribed here:
Her Most Ezecellent Majesty Nathalie,
Queen of Servia.
Madam: I hasten to acknowledge
the very unexpected honor conferred
by your majesty In transmitting
through the Servian Red Cross So
ciety the diploma and beautiful deco
ration of that association.
This recognition of the interest I
have taken in measures tending to
mitigate the calamities of war is pe
culiarly gratifying as coming from a
country that, although old in history,
.is still young in the freshness of its
natural resources and the brave, hope
ful hearts of Its people. That their
hopes may be realized in a long ca
reer of liberty and prosperity must be
the sincere wish of every American.
I am on the point of sailing for Eu
rope to attend the Red Cross and
peace conventions, which assemble at
Geneva, in the beginning of September,
when I hope to have the pleasure of
meeting the representatives of Servia.
That your majesty and royal consort
may long continue to promote the hap
piness and welfare of your beautiful
country Is the hope and desire of your
majesty's most obedient servant,
CLARA BARTON.
President American Red Cross Asso
ciation.
The address "Madam" at the begin
ning of the above epistle, the sonorous
title that belongs to every American
queen, is in perfectly good form ac
cording to the authorities, and also a
most concise and dignified declaration
of stalwart independence.
Monkey and Pot of Jam.
A sweet little story concerning a pet
monkey and a pot of jam is vouched
for by a Johns Hopkins . University
man:
It was in the country and all on a
summer's day the family monkey was
seen scudding homeward literally
drenched in raspberry Jam. He was
pursued by an irate neighbor with up
lifted broom, but once safe on to the
home plat he swung himself lightly
into the nearest tree and peacefully
listened to her tale of wrong.
It seems the neighbor had some
hours before been making jam, a great
bowl of which sat cooling on a table
beneath the trees. This the monkey
spied, but had scarcely started liberal
ly helping himself to it when he was
discovered. With loud outcry and the
broom the lady -started toward him,
when the mischievous beast, knowing
his minutes were numbered, hastily
overturned the bowl on the table,
Then rolling himself joyously in it seV'
eral times from head to heels he scam
pered beyond her reach. During the
recital of her woe, and, In fact, for the
remainder of the day, the monkey sat
scooping the sweetmeat from, his body
and licking his paws with glee.
A Curious Tip.
A certain little Flemish watering
place, which is much frequented by
English and American visitors in the
summer, possesses two attractions in
the shape of a Presbyterian place of
worship and a roulette table. One of
the "faithful" had quite recently a
most Ingenious idea, says the London
Times. After the number of the hymn
succeeding the sermon was given he
stole away, made his way to the table,
and Invested all he was worth on th
number of the hymn. Needless to say
the number turned up, and the lucky
coup became the talk of the village for
the rest of the week. Next Sunday
the church was crammed to the door,
The pious pastor was rejoiced In heart.
After a powerful address he gave out
"Hymn No. 27." The moment the
words left his Hps, to his consterna
tion theretwas a rush to the door, and
he was left with a faithful handful to
upraise their agitated strain of praise.
As for the rest, they made a bee line
from the house of prayer to the house
of play. We are happy to relate that
their little adventure cost them very
dear.
Mo Offense Intended.
A regular customer of a certain coal
company dropped into the office of the
firm one morning to make a complaint
"That coal you sold me for my furnas
a- few weeks ago," he said, "is th
worst I have had in ten years. There's
a great quantity of slate in it, and
what Isn't slate runs to clinkers."
"Sorry to hear It, Mr. Williams," said
the man inside the railing. "I'll make a
memorandum of it Perhaps the com
pany will give you a rebate on it."
Taking a slip of paper, he wrote a
few words on it and bung it on a hook.
The customer, happening to glance at
the slip of paper, saw this: "G. G.
Williams. Bad egg."
"So I'm a bad egg, am I?" he asked,
reddening with indignation.
"Oh, not at all, Mr. Williams," hastj
Ily explained the clerk. "That means
the egg coal we sold you turns out to
be bad."
And the customer reddened again,
but not from Indignation.
Some men are so mean that when
they attend a ball game, they want to
see the home team beaten.
Some people go to great trouble to
acquire foolishness.
A Judge's Wife.
Mrs. Judge McAllister writes from
1217 West 33rd St., Minneapolis,
Minn., as follows:
I suffered for years with a pain in
the small of my back and right side.
It Interfered often with my domestic
and social duties and 1 never supposed
that I would be cured, as the doctor's
medicine did not seem to help me any.
"Fortunately a member of our Or
der advised me to try Peruna and gave
it such high praise that I decided to try
it. Although I started in with llttfe
faith, 1 felt so much better in a week
that I felt encouraged.
"I took it faithfully for seven weeks
and am happy indeed to be able to say
that I am entirely cured. Words fail
to express my gratitude. Perfect
health once more is the best thing I
could wish for, and thanks to Peruna
I enjoy that now." Minnie E. McAl
lister. The great popularity of Peruna as a
catarrh remedy has tempted many peo
ple to imitate Peruna. A great many
so-called catarrh remedies and catarrhal
tonics are to be found in many drug
stores. These remedies can be pro
cured by the druggist much cheaper
than Peruna. Ponna can only be ob
tained at a uniform prne, and no drug
gist can get it a cent cheaper.
Thus it is that drugigsts are tempted
to substitute the cheap imitations of
Peruna for Peruna. It is done every
day without a doubt.
Addrees Dr. Hartman, president of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Ohio.
A Keeper of Secrets.
Lady (to the dressmaker) Did you
tell Mrs. De Peyster Burlingame what
my costume for the ball was to be?
Modiste Oh, no, madam! I never
divulge professional secrets.
Lady What is hers like?
Modiste It's in colonial style,
madam. Boston Herald.
His Stories.
"Bunkins takes life very easily."
"But he is always telling hard luck
stories."
"Yes; but that shows his shrewd
ness. If he put in all the time telling
funny stories people would say he was
loafing. Washintgon Star.
SCIENCE PROVES IT
An analysis of Monopole Baking; Pow
der made by Chemist Jas. II. isk shows
it to be purer and stronger than any
other powder in this market, barring
none. If you want the best Raking
Powder insist on Monopole. All high
class grocers handle Monopole groceries.
WADHAMS & KERR BROS., Portland.
Founded 187 O
A Homo School for Boym
Military and Manual Training
Wrlto for Illustrated Catalogue
BUGGIES.
Give better satisfaction than anything on
the market at anything like the price, be
cause they are made of good material, to
stand "Oregon roads" Iron corners on
bodies, bracrs on shatts. heavy second
growth wheels, screwed rims. If you want
to feel sure that you are getting your mon
ey's worth, ask for " Bee Line " or a
"Mitchell" (Uenney) Buggy. We guar
antee them.
Mitchell, Lowla Stmvar Co.
Seattle, Spokane, Boise. Portland, Or.
WE HAVE THE LEADERS
Milwaukee Mowers
and Victor Rakes
We want to send yon a Catalogue FREE.
Just drop us a line.
J. A. FREEMAN, Oenl. Agt.
290 East Water St.,
PORTLAND, OREOON.
Summer Resolutions
TAKE
THE
ileeiey Cure
Sure relief from liquor, opium and tobacco
habits. Send for particulars to
foO.OV fficttf lltfl M Williams
aGGIGJ inSlllUIB Ave.. Fo.tlanrt. Oregon
H. P. If. C.
Ko. 22-1003.
HEW writing to advertisers please
meatioa tuts paper.