Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, December 24, 1901, Image 4

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' What ts the use of telling the rheumatla
that he feels as if his Joints were being dis
located ?
He knows that his sufferings are very
much like the tortures of the rack.
What he wanlt to know Is what will per
manently cure his disease.
That, according to thousands of grateful
testimonials, is
Hood's Sarsaparilla
It promptly neutralizes the acid In thr
blood on which the disease depends, com
pletely eliminates it, and strengthens the
system against its return. Try Hood's.
Of More Immediate Value.
Miss Emerson (of Boston) I pre
sume yours is not one of the May
flower families.
Miss Triplex (of Minneapolis) No,
indeed. Ours is one of the famous
Minnesota (lour families.
The nut-cracking Industry of St.
Louis gives employment to over fifteen
hundred people. The nut-crackers are
driven by electricity, each nut being
fed Individually Into the crusher. After
the shells are cracked the nuts are win
nowed by an air blast and the meat Is
picked from the crushed sheila by
A new and highly Interesting method
of obtaining the X-rays Is described by
M. Nodon. He claims that, If ordinary
light falls upon an electrified alumi
nium plate, preferably upon one elec
trified negatively, the light penetrates
the plate (the thickness of which Is not
stated) and issues from the other side
NaturallypeoplewanttooeWEI.LforChrlstmas m tl)e form 0f X-rays.
enter, 'therefore, take Onrtield Tea now; its
uses arenrnnifiold: itcures all derangements of
stomach, liver, kidnevs or bowels; it cleanses
tha crirom BllH Till ri fi the blood. thUS re-
moving t ie cause of rheumatism, gout and many
chronic diseases. It is good for young and
old and has been held in then ighest repute for
many years. Physicians recommend it.
He Loved Lawyers.
It is said that Peter the Great,
after witnessing a contest between
two eminent counsel at Westminster,
London, remarked: "When I left
St. Petersburg there were two lawyers
there. When I get baok, I will hang
one of them."
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Hall 'I
Catarrh Cure.
i. T 1 n ir ' 17 T a.r T) . T-l .1 a
tSSS&L'iSS lvox and several elongated Infuusori-
The postal savings-bank building in
Amsterdam, Holland, is being con
structed by the "Monier system," a new
method of construction. A steel framework-
like a bird-caee in appearance, is
enveloped in Portland cement, which
prevents the steel from rusting, while
the cement itself is rendered elastic.
The eteel acts entirely ln tension and
the concrete in pressure. This con
struction is said to be strong, fireproof
and waterproof, and to be, growing in
favor in Europe for government build
ings and factories.
What man has learned by d'.nt of
thought and experiment some of the
lower animals appear to know through
instinct An instance is furnished "by
the "spiral swimming" of certain or
ganisms, such as the spnencai-snapeu
T-- : ;
.mount of toasting win torn Inferior
bread or bread that la heavy and half
baked. Into toast that U digestible or
fit to be eaten. Toast of an excellent
quality can always be made by follow
ing these directions.
Cut the bread ln even slices, about
half an inch ln thickness. Slightly dry
them ln the oven or before the fire. Put
each slice on a toasting fork, or hi a
wire broiler and bold It before or over
a clear bright fire of coal or charcoal,
but at a sufficient distance from them
to allow It to brown evenly, without
burning. When the surface of one side
becomes a rich golden color, tarn and
toast the other side In a similar manner.
Serve covered with' a napkin on a warm
To make dip toast, dip slices of dry
toast ln well salted boiling water to
which a sufficient quanity of melted
butter has been added.
To make milk or cream toast, dip
slices of dry toast Into, boiling milk or
cream, well salted and enriched with
butter. .
To toast bread on a bine flame oil or
a gas stove of any kind, put the slices
of bread in a wire broiler, lay the broil
er on a griddle over the flame and turn
frequently nntil the slices are nicely
browned on both sides. Be careful not
to pile slices of toast on each other,
says Mrs. Emma P. Ewlng In Good
Housekeeping. If so piled they will be
come moist and lose their crispness and
honorable in all business transactions and fin
ancially able to carry out any obligations made
Wbst & Trvax,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Walding Kinnan & MABvm,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
Directly on the blood and mucous surfaces ox
the system. Price 75c per bottle. Sold by all
urugtrists. Testimonials free.
Hall's Family Pills are the best.
Mrs. Bilks What an awful face
that prisoner has. I'd be afraid to
get near him, he looks so murderous.
Mr. Bilks That isn't a prisoner.
That's the judge.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth
ing Syrup the best remedy to use lor their
children during the teething period.
In Accord NitI
Her Mother John, I think Mary's
voice should be cultivated, if it don't
cost too much.
Her Father It can't cost too much
if it will improve it any. Baltimore
A Christmas Philosopher
He Mks three great gifts Health, Wealth and
Happiness! Then give him Garfield Tea; it
brings Good Health, promotes Happiness and
mates ine pursuit 01 weauu possmie.
' Why He Went.
A I say, come around to my house
this evening. We re going to have
little whist party.
a All right, i ll come, xou can
'coax me to go anywhere to play
,,,-whist. lit-Jtiits.
ans. As they revolve aDOUt tne axis 01
progression as does a projectile fired
from a rifled gun, the consequence Is,
as Dr. H. S. Jennings points out, that
thev are able to travel in a straight
line, as they could not do otherwise,
the revolution compensating with abso
lute precision for any tendency tp devi
ate from a straight course. Without
such a device many of these minute
creatures would simply describe circles,
making no forward progress.
Although every housekeeper Is pain
fully aware of the tendency of silver
ware to part with its brilliance and be
come tarnished when exposed to ordi
nary atmospheric Influences, many
probably do. not know that the cause
of the tarnishing is the action of sul
phur in the air. Unless frequently
cleaned, the surface of sliver will be
come black in the course of a few
months. The best way to keep silver
bright, without the necessity of clean
ing, is said to be to coat the surface
with a thin solution of collodion var
nish diluted with spirits of wine. After
being applied with a soft brush the
spirit evaporates, leaving a thin, glossy,
transparent film on the polished sur
face. Warm water removes the var-
nsh. Tarnished silver may be restored
by careful rubbing with a soft cloth
wet with dilute solution of potassium
cyanide one ounce to a quart of water
followed by rinsing.
riou s vine lur iiuiisuiilDLlun is an llliat-
w . oamdel. Ocean tirove,
N. J., Feb. 17,
"I'm tired out," said the author.
"Never mind," replied his friend,
the public is in the same fix!
For weakness, stiffness and soreness
in aged people use Wizard Oil. Your
druggist knows this, and sells the oil.
A Sly Dog.
fcne it s no use bothering me,
Jack; I shall marry whom I please,
He That's all I'm asking you . to
do, my dear. You please me well
Cf TO Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
rl I W after first-laT's ;ipofrir. Kline'sGreat Nerve
Restorer. Send for FRE E S4.00 trial bottle and treat
ise. L,tu..v3i Arcnst..rtuiadeipnia.'ar
He Didn't
Fish Are you a suitor for Miss
Brown's hand?
Sprat Yes; but I didn't.
Fish Didn't what?
Sprat Suit her. Tid-Bits.
Men Who Have Lighted Pipes During
H'oodT Battles.
Most of the distinguished officers of
the world hold that whatever comforts
the soldier on active service may be de
prived of he should on no acount be
stinted ln the matter of tobacco, and
In the gravest of histories relating to
the Franco-Prussian war It Is stated
that the total want of even tobacco to
make cigarettes of among the French
troops on many occasions did not a lit
tle to dispirit them.
Private Jones, who obtained the Vic
toria Cross at Rorke's Drift, said that
In the very thick of the fight several
comrades lighted their pipes with
blazing fragments of wood from tha
wooden hospital which had been fired
by the Zulus, and at Majuba Hill one
of the men was found dead with the
stump of a cigar between his clinched
teeth. Amid the awful carnage of the
Russo-Turkish war Turks horribly
mangled were frequently found smok
ing In the midst of their agony and ut
tering no sound of complaint
Mr. Archibald Forbes, the great war
correspondent, has told bow before
Metz, in the Franco-Prussian war, a
soldier terribly wounded craved but
one relief a cigar and he observed
soldiers firing away at close quarters,
pipe In mouth. Gen. Von Benthelm,
observing a sight like this, asked one
of the men for a light and himself
coolly lighted his own cigar and then
led his men on. Another war corre
spondent, belonging to one of our great
daily papers, tells that he saw at Saar-
brucken a large party of Brunswick
Hussars gallop Into the thick of the
fray with cigars in their mouths, and
this ln the face of a solid mass of
Freeh troops and a hall of bullets.
Edinburgh Scotsman.
His Wealth.
"I love you more than all my
wealth 1" exo a'med the leading hero
of tbe play as he- folded the leading
ladv in his arms.
"Humph!" she whispered as her
head lay on his shoulder. "You
know you get only $12 a week.-'
But the audienoedid not hear this.
An Eye for Harmony.
Miss Ethel Oh, Mrs. ' Brown, do
introduce that man over there to me!
Mrs. Brown I don't -see who you
wish to know him, dear. He doesn't
Miss Ethyl 1 know that, but I
want to sit out with him. He goes
with my dress so beautifully.
KU8S HOUSE, of San Franclaeo,
under the experienced management of J.
S. Young fe Sons, has lately been exten
sively altered and reconstructed in every
department, at a cost of $85,000, neither
pains nor money being spared in making
it a first-class, up-to-date, home-like hotel.
The House is tire-proof and thoroughly
equipped throughout with all the modern
conveniences in vogue at the present tune
in hotels. This established house is finely
located in the verv heart-center ox busi
ness and hotel portion of the city. They
are noted for the excellence of the table
they set. Their dining-room has now one
of the finest interiors of any hotel dining-
room in the state. Their service through
out is first-class.
Her Presentiment.
She Do you believe in presenti
ments? He I don't know. Have you had
She Yes. I had a sudden ieeling
that some one was going to kiss me.
Harper's Weekly.
Delaware Governor's Social Precedence.
Tbe fact that little Delaware is the
oldest state in the union tives her
governor social precedence over all
other state executives who may share
with him any official entertainment
in Washington. Ladies' Home Journal.
It Took Time.
"I'm so tired !" she sighed to the
woman next door.
"What doing?"
"I've betn the last four hours at
the photographer's having an instan
taneous pictu e taken of the baby."
They Knew.
Dashaway Did you tell thoBrind
erleys that I was going to call there
last evening?
Cleverton Yes. How did you
Dashaway The wedding present I
gave them was in the front parlor.
Town and Country.
A Happy Medium.
"Was their marriage a success?"
"Oh, yes; through it they both met
others whom they really loved."
Wish All A Merry Christinas.
And tell them of Garfield Tea which cures in
digestion and liver disorders and insures the
return of many Happy Christmas Dinners by
removing the cause of dyspepsia and ill health.
Mabel's Haste.
"Mabel doesn't believe in long en
gagements'.' "Yes. I understand Mabel's young
man had a good deal of money."
Make Presentable and Valued Holiday Gifts.
Pendleton Indian robes, made of Pure OrcEnn Fleece
Wool, are manufactured bv the Pendleton Woolen Mills
and shiDDed bv them to nearly every Indian Reservation
in the United States. They are 60 by 70 inches in size, of
beautiful Indian I eft i gits and rich color combinations.
Nothing but the best grade of dyes are used, consequently
me colors are warranted to oe aosoiuieiy r abi.
Nothine la prettier than one of these beantiful Indian
Robes for decorative purposes in the home, and for
fancy corners and couch or lounge covers they are un
excelled. They alo make excellent Steamer Rues,
Slumber Robes. Veranda Wraps. Lao Kobfi. and
for t ravelins are indispensable, being soft and warm
and can easily be folded into a neat package, which will
weigh but four pounds.
Remit us $5.00, stating color wanted, and we will send
you a genuine "PENDLETON," express charges prepaid.
Write us about Indian photneraohs. We reier to any
bank or express company in rentueion.
' ? li -4
. - v Si
i c: F " H'-h W
It is Well To Be Prepared....
No telling about this climate of ours sunshine one minute, storm tbe next, ft
fays to Invest In time. ALLESINA'S ANTI-RUST UMBRELLA FRAME protects
and will practically last a lifetime. Let us explain Thy our umbrellas do not rust.
SOB Marrlmon SI., Opp. Poatofflcm.
Why Pay High Prices?
For WATCHES, DIAMONDS and JEWELRY when you can buy un
redeemed pledges for Amount of Money Loaned with interest at the
T..4-1 Q I rlteZ . 74 THIRD STREET,
'New Jewelry at 40 per cent, lower than at any Jewelry Store in Portland,
tbe Great University Helped to
Shape Our Destinies.
The centenary of the establishment
of Yale was. celebrated at the time that
Whitney was beginning his experi
ments and investigation that gave to
the world his cotton gin, changing the
civilization of the South, making
slavery its corner stone, a civilization
that grew until at last it matched its
strength with the inconsistent civiliza
tion of the North, Involving In that
struggle the whole question of the per
manency of slavery and of the Union,
Whitney s cotton gin had been per
fected when Yale celebrated its cen
tenary, but it was not until three or
four years after this apparatus had
been put in operation in the South that
its epoch-making influence was discov
ered. Eleven years after Whitney's
graduation the United States was pro
ducing, because of his cotton gin,
twenty-two times more cotton than
before the invention of his machine.
Macaulay asserted of Whitney's in
vention that it did more for the power
and progress of the United States than
Peter the Great did for Russia.
It was about the time that Whitney,
trained at Yale, had perfected and put
into operation an apparatus that
changed civilization that Noah Web
ster was at work upon the first of his
attempts to make permanent and ac
curate the use of the English language
in the TTnite'i Rtntps. TTp wan crad.
ine sKin is tne seat 01 an almost ena- uated at Yale fourteen years before
LIS w Whitney, or seventy-seven years aft
same cause, acid and other poisons in tbe foundation of the college. He pub
the blood that irritate and interfere with lished ten years later his speller, prob-
the proper action of the skin. i ably unmatched in its sales and ln its
To have a smooth, soft skin, free from reading by any work put into print,
au erupuons, me uioou must De Kept pure excepting the Bible.
'find tlpaltllv Tht mnnv nrpnaratinnQ nf -
arsenic and potash and the large number ! J,ltn lt8 " f 1 cenl W
of face poWders and lotions generally Webster was able to support himself
used in this class of diseases cover uo , when occupied with his dictionary.
for a short time, but cannot remove per- . which was first published in 1828, and
manently the nglyNblotches and the red, whose influence ln fixing definitely and
ui.usu.iug pm.pica. - universally the orthoeraDhv. Dronnn-
Eternal viailsgOB.js the price elation and definition of the Enclish
Of a beautiful CtHpgtlexion ' words has been of almost Inconceiv
when such remedies are relie'Son. able Importance. Holland, in Fhiladel-
Mr. H. T. Shobe, 2704 Lucas Avenue, St. ma7Tpn4L Press
with a disfiguring eruption on her face, which
resisted all treatment. She was taken to two
celebrated health springs, but received no bene
fit. Many medicines were prescrioea, Dut wun-
Girls Must Be Good Housekeepers
Make Home Happy.
A girl should marry when she Is ca
pable of understanding and fulfilling
the duties of a true wife and thorough
housekeeper, and never before. No
matter how old she may be, if she is
not capable of managing a house ln
every department of it she is not old
enough to get married. No matter how
plain the home may be, if It is neatly
kept and the meals (no matter how sim
ple) served from shining dishes and
clean table linen, the husband will
leave his home with loving words and
tnougnts ana took aneaa witn eager
ness to the time when he can return.
Let a girl play the piano and acquire
every other accomplishment within her
power, the more the better, for each
one will be that much more power to
be used in making a home happy. At
jthe same time, If she cannot go Into
the kitchen, if necessary, and prepare
a good meal, and serve it after it is
prepared, she had better defer her mar
riage until she learns. If girls would
thoroughly fit themselves before they
marry, there would be fewer discon
tented, unhappy wives and more happy
out iresult, until we decided to try S. S. S., and by
the lime the nrst bottle was finished the eruption
begnn to disappear. A dozen bottles cured her
completely and left her skin perfectly smooth.
She is now seventeen years old, and not a sign of
the embarrassing disease has ever returned."
S. S. S. is a rjositive. unfailin? cure for
the worst forms of skin troubles. It is
the greatest of all blood purifiers, and the
only one guaranteed purely vegetable.
Bad blood makes bad complexions.
purines ana invigo
rates the old and
makes new, rich blood
that nourishes the
body and keeps the
skin active and healthy and in proper
condition to perform its part towards
Carrying off the impurities from the body.
If you have Eczema, Tetter, Acne, Salt
Rheum, Psoriasis, or your skin is rough
and pimply, send for our book on Blood
and Skin Diseases and write our physi
cians about your case. No charge what
ever for thi9 service.
SIS: l&liilL
mints wHmf 111 fisF fiiis.
Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use I
in time. Koiq py aroggists.
Should Be Made Kcom Thin Slices of
owe ex, AajEnt-ssread.
Bread is toasted to take out-yje-jnols-
ture as well as to give it a better flavor.
Toasting converts the insoluble stalei-l111
In bread Into a soluble substance called
dextrine, which can be perfectly mois
tened with the saliva and easily digest
ed. Bread toasted until dry and brown
agrees better with weak stomachs than
any other kind of bread and a sensitive
stomach will frequently digest good
toast when It will digest no other
article of food. Hence toast properly
made can be Judiciously and safely
used as an article of diet for Invalids,
at all times, without the least fear of
Its proving Injurious or producing dis
comfort But if the slices of bread to
be toasted are thick and are carelessly
held before or over a blazing fire the
outside become burned and toughened,
the ntoisture Is dlrven in, instead of be
ing evaporated, and the toast is render
ed clammy and Indigestible. -Toast of
the best quality can be tnnae only fi'om
sweet, I'j"u, well-baked bread,' and no
The Gingerbread Test.
The late President Faure, of Prance,
was a vain man, and those about him
diplomatically played upon his vanity;
but on one occasion he heard the truth
when he least expected It,
He had Invited the officer of the Ely-
see guard to breakfast, much to the
trepidation of that official, a very shy
gentleman. Suddenly Monsieur Faure
turned to the officer and asked: .
"Am I popular?"
Taken off his guard and yielding to
the truthful impulse, the officer replied
"I do not think so, Monsieur le Presi
"And why do you not think so?" ask
ed the President, rather sharply.
"Because," said the officer, slowly.
"my father told me that he only real
ized Monsieur Thiers' popularity when
he saw his portrait in gingerbread In
all the booths at the fair on the Place
du Trone; and I have not noticed your
portrait in this way. Monsieur le Presi
dent." ,
Monsieur Faure thought a minute.
and then he said, very gravely: "That's
I thank you. I had not thought
of that.-'i
The filetthat he had never been
worked over in gingerbread for" the
delight and admiration, to say noth
ing of tbe nourishment, of the public
seemed to worry him for the rest of
the day.
Wanted His Beward. -
Willie Oh, mamma, you said that If
I did a real act of kindness this morn
ing you'd give me some cake. Please
give It to me now.
Mother What act of kindnes did you
Willie A cat came into our back yard
and I didn't stone It. Boston Herald.
What Is your favorite color scheme In
pumpkin pies? A rich, golden yellow,
or a deep brown? - .
When a fool keeps his mouth shut, he
is nut known as a fooL
AVgetable Preparationfor As
similating tticFoodandRegula
ting (he Stomachs andBowels of
Promotes Digc3tion.Cheerfur
nessandRest.Contains neither
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral.
flmp&m Seal'''
fisfxmint -BiCatoHikSim
ClanudJuaw m&yitinnw:
Aperfecl Remedy forConsfipa
Tion , Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and Loss OF Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Seeds make
good crops, good
crops make more cus
tomers so each year tbe
crops and customers have
grown greater. That's tbe
secret of the Ferry tame.
More Ferry's Seeds sold
and sown than any other
kind. Bold by all dealers.
1 ion fififili A nri 11 til. PRES. A
i D. M. Ferry & Co. J I
I Detroit, ,V 3 91
For Over
Thirty Years
New and Enlarged Edition
of English, Biography, Geography, Fiction, etc.
25,000 NE.W WORDS, ETC.
Edited by W. T. HARRIS, Ph.D., LL.D.,
United States Commissioner of Education.
tfew Plates Throughout. Rich Bindings.
2364 Pages. 5000 Illustrations.
Also Webster's Collegiate
Dictionary with a valuable
Scottish Glossary. noo Pages.
1400 Illustrations. Size 7xiox2in.
nen Daces, etc.. of both
oks sent on application. -
. O C. Merriam Co., Springfield, Mass.
Holiday Resolutions
Keeley Cure
ON i
evcKi CATALOfiUtS TKtl I
smcwinc rwkk tiNC or OAKHIIMTS AND HAfX
A.W.TOrVfcH Ca.BOaTOW,P1AS.44 ,
We Tench
Bookkeeping. Stenography,
Mathematics, English, Lan
guages, History, Etc.,
By Mail
For fall information add real
Pacific Coast Cor fe-
spondence Institute
Portland, Ormoon.
...Columbia University...
Academic and Collegiate Halls.
COURSES Classics.. Litersrr. Bcientlflo and
Commercial. For particulars apply to
REV. E. P. MURPHY, Proidtnt,
Unirenity ?ark, Portland. Oregon. -
St. Helen's Hall
A. Boardlna: and Uav School for Girls.
Has a Normal Kindergarten Training Depart
meat, which will hare a separate residence for
kindergarten classes tiiis Fall. The Boarding
department provides a cneerfni and well ar
ranged home for tobdk ladies. For Catalogue
or other information apply to
ULEA.NUK iUBBtlTB, Principal.
feure relief fiom liquor, opinm and tobaooo)
habits. Band for particulars to
Moved to 430 Williams
Ave.. Portland, Oreeon
Keeley Institute,
Patents Send no Money
I But a model or drawing with a description.
' onrl toa will ftrivisfi vnn. J. R. nuffie d?
&Co (Dept. A) Washington, D. C. riCC
N. P. N. E.
So. 51 1901.
HEX writine to advertisers Dleaae
mention this paper
& is REFRESHl And Act4 H5-
. Pleasantly and (Jently.
With many millions of families Syrup of Figs lias become the
ideal home laxative. The combination is a simple and wholesome
one, and the method of manufacture by the California Fig Syrup
Company ensures that perfect purity and uniformity of product,
which have commended it to the favorable consideration of the
most eminent physicians and to the intelligent appreciation of all
who are well informed in reference to medicinal agents.
Syrup of Figs has truly a laxative effect and acts gently with
out in any way disturbing the natural functions and with perfect
freedom from any unpleasant after effects.
In the process of manufacturing, figs are used, as they are
pleasant to the taste, but the medicinally laxative principles of the
combination are obtained from plants known to act most bene
ficially on the system.
To det its beneficial effects
Louisville. Ky. SArx rrairoico.CoJ. Ncw YorlvttY
ew - . a
Foandmd f 870
A Horn. School tor Boym
Military and Manual Training
WrlfB for llloatrmtod Oataloouo
Are best because they are thnrotighly well made
of best material. Are stronger and heavier
than otners, hence more durable. The feed is
absolutely accurate, reliable and positive, and
will sow same quantity. Bp or down hill or on
side hill. Hoosier Drills are cheapest because
BEST. We keep full stock of repairs at princi
pal points in the Northwest. Catalogue free.
First and Taylor Sts.
Portland, Oregon.
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
foot of Morrison Slrsat.
Can " give yon the best bargains la
Bnggies. Flows, Boilers ami Kniuej,
Vinimilla and Pumps anl General
Machinery. See as before baying.
Wise Author.
Publisher Your collection ol
poems ia first rate, but we have
enough of such material to last us 12
Euyters Kramp Well, I guess you
will have to have something for the
thirteenth year, won't you?
A Kentucky Suspicion.
"Do you agree with the people who
assert that milk is not a wholesome
article of diet?"
"Well," answered Col. StillwelL
"I wouldn't like to make positive
assertions. But I have heard it ru
mored that they put a great deal oi
water into it." Washington Star.
At the Shore.
She It will take us halt an hour
to get back to the hotel.
He And in that time I must
know my fate.
"But I cannot give you my answer
"Oh, I know that. But by that
time I will know how much my hotel
bill is." Judge.
No Use for It
Barber Can't I sell yon a bottle of
this tonic, sir? It will positively
prevent the hair from coming out. -
nnafnmA. W tltanlr timi Vaii
ee I'm a married man, and the easier
it comes out the less it hurts. Chi
cago News.
Knew Her Man.
He was desperately in love with her
but lacked the courage to propose.
"This line, " she said, as she bent
over his hand, "indicates that you
have a long life before you; this one
indicates a good heart, this one an
artistic temperament, and this one
that you lack courage. "
Being a dull and stubborn brute,
always ready to prove other people
liars, he popped Indianapolis Sun.
Biggest Nugget on Record.
Big gold ' nuggets are extremely
rare. The biggest on . record was
found in Australia in 1852, weighed
npward of 223 pounds and was worth
A. Sharp Rejoinder.
Mr. Baldpate (te bashful boy)
What s the matter, little man? lias
the cat got your tongue? "
Tom Naw, "has he got your hair?
New York journal.
First Summer Girl Oh, I broke
off the engagement. He was so un-,
Second Summer Girl Indeed?
First Summer Girl Oh yes I Why,
be objected to my going on a moon
Kgfat tirrrtj witSj root he man N Pttck.