HASSAN'S PROVERB.
King Hassan, well beloved, was wont to
say,
When aught went wrong, or any labor
failed:
"To-morrow, friends, will be another
dayP'
And in that faith be slept, and so
preyail'd.
Long live this proverb! While the world
shall roll
To-morrows fresh shall -rise from oat
the night,
And new-baptize the indomitable soul
With courage for its never-ending fight.
No one, I say, is conquer' d till he yields;
And yield he need not while, like mist
from glass,
God wipes the stain of life's old battle
fields From every morning that he brings to
pass.
New day. new hope, new courage! Let
this be.
O soul, thy cheerful creed. What's yes
terday,
With all its shards and wrack and grief
to thee?
Forget it, then here lies the victor's
way.
Christian Endeavor World.
Don and Dan.
HE loved them both only dlffer
jljrt ently Don for bis quiet devotion;
Dan for his brainy achievements.
She had tried hard to decide between
them, but her heart had failed her com
pletely. They had both proposed, but so dif
ferently. Yet neither failed In bis ef
forts to show himself the true lover.
Don was decidedly clever as an artist,
. while one could see at a glance that
Dan would not be lone In making his
' mark in the world. So there -was re-
i ally- no apparent choice for the poor
1 girl. She had weighed them carefully
: In the matrimonial scale, but they both
7 k.lnn..J .... 1 J 1.
uamuwu av WW, auu sue v ao ai uci
" wits ends.
Don had called several times of late,
only to find Dan comfortably seated on
the sofa beside Sue. After stammer
ing different excuses on the various oc
casions, .he made hasty exits, often
' hearing Dan break forth into peals of
laughter. Sue was silent through it all.
I Never a letter inviting Don to call on a
. certain evening, so he decided that Dan
.. spent all his spare moments with Sue.
If it were thus,- surely Dan was the
, favorite, so Don relieved, bis aching
- heart by devoting all his spare mo-
ments to painting a beautiful canvas of
- Sue's head for old time's sake. So
Don's visits became less frequent, and
. Dan felt confident of a bride, until, one
day, something strange happened, as
; they always do In love affairs.
'Twas a perfect day that found Dan
auu sue enjoying a norseoacs nue
along the speedway. Sue looked the
very acme of trace and ooise in her
. riding habit, and Dan could not crowd
; down the conceit that rose in his breast
' when he thought how he had won her
away from all rivals, especially Don.
Then be began arguing to himself that
there were good reasons for it. He was
better looking.- He moved in a smarter
setset He was more popular.: So with
' an overstock of self -pride, he rode be
side Sue with what might be termed.
In slang, an enlargement of the hat
band. All the while that Dan was picturing
his better points on the relief, Sue was
thinking of Don. Surely what had be
come of the boy? He had not been- at
her house in over a week. Nor had he
sent a single word of excuse, and she,
in the whirl of her numerous social du
ties, had neglected to write him. She
was slightly worried about the state of
affairs, although she would not admit
it to her conscience that seemed an
noyed of late so tried In vain to crowd
it out oi ner ousy iirue Drain.
There was a sudden click of steel, a
quick Jerk that threw Dan from his
saddle, and his horse was off like a
wild beast, clearing everything before
it. Dan was bravely clinging to the
stirrup strap, but It was a terrible posi
tion; only a question of seconds when
his strength would fail him; then he
' would be dragged to death. All efforts
to stop the horse seemed to enrage him
the more.
Sue sat in the saddle like one petrified
with fear. She was powerless to move.
' Suddenly, almost as soon as the horse-
started, a cyclist whizzed by. It was
Don. On, on, he flew, until abreast of
the mad horse. One final burst of speed
and the wheel crossed the horse's track.
Don rose on his pedals, grasped -the
curb bit and threw himself on the
horse's neck. Twas an acrobatic feat
41 a ,tiia A a TiA AM ma Han. Iinla
lib I"' v-.n-uo. wx ou JL- till n UU1U
on the strap relaxed, he fell backward
and dragged along the roadway,' until
Don brought the nervous steed to a
standstill. It was a brave deed from
start to finish and Don came out with
out a scratch, but minus a wheel.
As Don was being complimented onfrfie da v. He is fond of travel and likes
all sides, Sue came.into view, dismount-
ed and elbowed her way through the
crowd, leaving her horse in charge ot
an urchin. She took Don's hand with-
out a word and shook It warmly, then
stooped to examine Dan. He was un
conscious and needed medical aid.
Handkerchiefs, cold.water, a few flasks
and various other things were freely
offered by the sympathizing crowd, and
all were intent on reviving Dan, when
the sharp clang of the ambulance bell
dispersed them.
Dan was carefully stowed away In
the ambulance, while Don mounted the
front seat, after promising to call on
Sue that evening.
1 The front doorbell rang. She rushed
to the door and threw It open. Don
stepped over the threshold and found
himself In the arms of Sue.
"Oh, you dear, brave soul 'twas Just
like yon.:'
"Oh, 'twas nothing.' stammered Don.
"I knew you loved him, and I hated to
gee your happiness In this life die be
fore your very eyes."
"Love him? . Nothing of the sort. I
love you."
. "Sue!"
A lump came into his throat and tears
into his eyes. ... He kissed her such a
glad kiss. '.
-
Six weeks lattr Pag went south, not
COOKING CORN FOR WINTER,
How Nebraska Farmers Prepare Their Immense Crops for the
Table of the Consumer In Many States.
Nebraska leads many of the older
States in the canning factory industry.
Corn is the chief product, bat the to
mato output is by no means an Insig
nificant factor In local commerce, and
other vegetables receive attention as
well. The process is practically the
same everywhere. The cannery bulld-
AFTBB THE COBN LEAVES THE COB.
lngs consist of a husking shed, can and
box house, kitchen or cook room, en
gine and warehouse, besides numerous
minor nooks and corners, all under roof
and covering nearly two acres. A 40
borse power engine makes the wheels
go around. The water consumption
during the busy season amounts to
nearly 100,000 gallons per week. Corn
is bought by the ton under contract
with farmers. An ordinarily well equip
ped canning establishment will handle
from 175 to 200 tons of corn per day.
The output of the average factory for
1900 was 2,000,000 cans of two pounds
each. . . .. -".. - ,
The corn is delivered by farmers just
as it grows on the stalks no husking.
It is dumped into the . sheds where
from 200 to 300 boys and riren tire fern
ployed in busking. .These workers re
ceive 2 cents per bushel. Wages run
all the way from 30 cents to $2 per day
on this -Job all contingent upon - the
skill of the huskers. After the corn is
husked, it is thrown on tables, on each
side of which stand from twenty- to
forty women, whose dufy It is to trim
out all of the bad spots. Having been
culled," the corn is dumped Into an
elevator trough which is lifted by an
endless chain system. - It goes to the
top of the building, where it is passed
through the cutting machines, of which
a well-equipped factory is supposed to
have from eight to ten. Forty-five
bushels per hour is the capacity of each
of these machines. Two women are re
quired as operators for each machine.
.Iron troughs lead the corn to. another
department , known as the silking ma
broken-hearted, but with a bride,
name, however, was not Sue. -"
Her
MINISTER WU TING-FANG.
Sagacious Celestial Held a Foremost
Sank Among. Diplomat'. . .
The Chinese minister to the United
States, Wu Ting-Fang, is the most ex
traordinary person who ever came -to
us out of the east, says a writer in
Ainslee's Magazine.' He is One of- the
Individuals rare in any country, whose
Intelligence is universal in Its range.
He is a man of the world in all that
the phrase implies. There Is no com
pany of men or women among whom
her would not be at " home.- His -mind
plays easily and swiftly. He Is quick
of apprehension and . speedy in re
sponse." Sagacious, witty, astute, dis
cerning and catholic in sympathy, his
aim has been to learn the ways of the
country and adapt himself to them. He
is an untiring student of American lit-
WO HXQ-TXH
erature and customs. - He reads the
newspapers religiously and has an ln-
ttmata acanalntance with the tonics of
to meet ail kinds of people. He sees
everybody who' calls to see him at the
legation no matter -how unimportant
-, TMninii'w trifling the errand. '
Physically, lie is of medium height and
medium build and clothed with mus
cles worthy of an athlete. -There are
few women who would not envy him
the perfect . teeth, white, hard and
small, which be displays as often as he
smiles. He is graceful In his move
ments and carries himself always with
a dignity that is enhanced by his flow
ing robes of silk. His manner of life
to all outward appearances is that of
any well-born American. "There Is
hardly an oriental suggestion in the
furnishings of his Washington home.
Madame Wu. whom he married twenty
years ago in China and who looks for
IS WAR BECOMING
'.- Above is shown the exact size of the bullets used In our great wars. ' The
largest was nsed In the Peninsular war of 1808; the next at Waterloo, 1813;
the third in the Crimean war. 1834; the next in the first Boer war of 1SS1; and
the last shows the bullet in use at present
chines. These machines remove every
particle of silk and cobs. Some people
might throw the cobs away, but the
canning factory manager says nay. He
thinks It better to rick them up and
charge 20 cents a load for them, and he
doesn't have any difficulty in getting
it, either. ." .. : ,
'Leaving the sllkers, the corn is car
ried to the canning machines. Here
sweetened water and salt, the onlj
condiments used, are added to the corn.
No chemicals enter into the process. It
is said. After the corn has been sweet
ened and salted it is distributed into
automatic filling machines. The solder
ing machines are also automatic. Ev
ery can Is inspected and all defective
soldering Is returned for repairs: The
cans are next placed in cooking re
torts, where they are subjected to a
pressure of 15 pounds and 250 degrees
of heat for nearly two hours, the time
varying somewhat owing to the condi
tion of the corn. From the retorts the
cans go to the coolipg vats, which are
filled with running water. Half an
hour In the vats, and the cans are sent
to the warehouse, where they are piled
up in rows reaching to the ceiling. None
of the corn is packed for shipment
short of two weeks after it has been
placed in the warehouse, thus giving
time for all Imperfections to develop,
Labels are put in place by an automat
ic machine.
Many of the Nebraska canning fac
tories operate their tfwn electric light
plants, and there is a mechanical pro
cess by which the machinery every
EEMOVIMU SILK PB10.B TO CANNING.
part of it that actually comes in con
tact with the corn Is scrubbed by
steam every night.
"r In many respects, the tomato canning
process is similar to" that of corn, the
chief difference, of-course, being that
in canning tomatoes, machinery : for
paring takes the place of the silking
and husking process.
all the world as -If she had stepped out
of a Chinese picture, pays, .calls and
receives visits as regularly as any other
woman-of her station.' she attends the
theater "with him and frequents public
places. "His 8-year-old boy plays with
American youngsters and is getting
an American 'education. He goes to
the public schools and beats all the
other children in their studies.
' Minister Wu has been in the highest
sense an ambassador to the American
people." Not-since tie time when James
Russell .Lowell found his way,, to the
hearts "ofthe -people" of England "fcnd
gave to our cousins across the sea a
taste of. the culture and refinement of
American life, of which they had hith
erto had a crude conception, has any
diplomatic representative of any gov
ernment fulfilled quite the same kind
of a mission that has fallen to the lot
of Minister Wu during his residence in
the United States.
; Up to the time of the arrival of Min
ister Wu, China was an undiscovered
country:: .. American public opinion in
its conception of the Chinese character
wavered. between the cynicism of Bret
Harte and the brutality of Dennis
Kearney, xne neatnen cninee ' was
either a person of subtle Intellect to be
avoided, or an obnoxious Interloper to
be stoned and spat upon. It has been
the fortune of Minister Wu to convey
to the American people an entirely new
Idea of his countrymen. In his own
personality he has contributed a new
type, which, through his actions and
utterances, tne American people are
about ready to accept as the true type
of a nationality hitherto Inadequately
understood.
Minister Wu is 50 years old and re
ceived his education In England, where
he was admitted to the bar. He was
the first Chinese lawyer ever admitted
to practice before the English bar in
Hong Kong.
Protection from Hail. .
; The plan of protecting vineyards
from the ravages of hailstorms seems
to have been successful in part only, if
at all; ' in France and Italy. Some ex
periments have been made in both
countries, but the Inference drawn up
to this time seems to be that whole
parks of artillery , containing - many
guns of large caliber will be needed if
reasonable security against hail is to
be insured. - And it is not-altogether
certain as yet that even if hundreds ef
slxteen-incb guns were to be discharg
ed at short intervals . the . protection
would .be complete. The bombardment
of the heavens cannot yet be considered
effectual. . .' :' -'-"';'; ' -.""; ';
The cart naturally precedes the horse
when a back-up is necessary. .'-;
MORE HUMANE?
OOo
tdp-ciencer
The fishes of America north of the
Isthmus of Panama, as listed by Jor
dan and Evermann, embrace three
classes, thirty orders, 225 families,
,113 genera, 335 sub-genera, 3,262 spe
cies and 133 sub-species. '
A Belgian engineer, Tobiansky, has
invented an apparatus for producing
light from smoke. It appears that the
origin of the smoke is a matter of in
difference. It is simply forced into a
receiver, where It is saturated with
hydrocarburet, and can then be burn
ed, giving a brilliant illumination.
An interesting meteorological station
is that of Mammoth Tank, on the line
of the Southern Pacific Railway, In
Diego County, CaL The mean annual
rainfall for twenty-three years has
been 1.81 Inches; maximum tempera
ture 130 degrees, on Aug. 17, 1878; hot
test month July, with a mean -of 98.5
degrees, i -
The best test for rubies and emeralds,
says Dr. Immanuel Friedlaender of
Berlin, Is microscopic ' examination.
Nearly every ruby and all emeralds
have many defects which are so char
acteristic that the expert can recognize
them, and which cannot be produced In
artificial stones. True emeralds have
minute enclosures of liquids and curi
ous dentrites. 'Sapphires also show pe
culiar net-like formations. A magnify
ing power of 100 diameters suffices to
reveal the characteristic defects. For
diamonds a good test is that of hard
ness. A genuine diamond cannot be
scratched by a file or by quartz, and a
ruby should stand a similar test; but
emerald is not - much harder thau
quartz, and cracks easily. ' ....
During the firing of minute-guns by
the English fleet at Spitbead, on the
occasion of Queen Victoria's funeral.
the sounds were heard at surprising
distances inland, and the English scien
tific Journals , have since, published
many interesting facts about these phe
nomena. It seems to be established that
not only the direction of the wind, but
its relative velocity at different eleva
tions from the. ground, affected the di
rection of the sound waves. In some
cases, contrary winds refracted tne
sound over the heads of observers be
tween 10 and 45 miles from. the ships,
so that they did not hear the guns, but
the 'i same waves . were afterward
brought to the ground by favorable
upper currents, rendering the sounds
audible at fifty miles, and even as far
as 140 miles,- while at 84 miles they
were so loud that laborers In the fields
put down their spades and listened to
them. -' .; - . .
In several parts of the world a resin
ous substance called, ozocerite, ana-
bearing considerable ' resemblance to
beeswax, is found, usually in connec
tion: with rock salt and coal. There
are deposits in -Austria. Russia, Rou
manian Egypt,,; Algeria,, Canada and
Mexico, but, says our consul at Trieste,
Mr. Hossf eld, ozocerite has, so far, not
been discovered in sufficient quantities
to pay for mining anywhere 'except In
the district of" Boryslav, in . Austrian
Galicia, and on an island on the west
coast of the Caspian sea. In mining
this mineral wax, shafts are sunk until
a bed, or "nest," of ozocerite is struck.
Then connecting galleries are driven.
There is considerable danger, and many
lives "have been lost In consequence of
the sudden forcing up of the -soft wax
into the shafts by -the. enormous pres
sure to which it is subjected, it is used
largely for- manufacturing ceresin,
which is employed, together with bees
wax, for making, wax candles, as well
as in the manufacture of phonographic
cylinders, and for many similar purposes.-:
i". v, .;.' ..;-..-..
AN OLD-TIME POSTAL DELIVERY.
The Lona-Delayed Letter Brought Joy
to Gran 1 mother's Heart.
The arrival of the first batch of let
ters after" the; establishment of rural
free delivery in Mansfield, Conn., re
called to an aged lady of that town a
postal Incident; remembered in her
family for a hundred and twenty years.
"My mother always cried when she
told the story," she said. " ' :
When my mother was a little girl
the narrator went on to have one's
letters regularly brought and handed
in at the door would have seemed a
miracle of privilege; and to get them
without paying postage would havi
been another. Mails were so slow and
uncertain that the safe arrival of an
expected letter by. any means was an
event in a country family, with the
postoflice miles away. ; ,v . , '
Sometimes "the delivery was helped
along ty volunteer carriers a. farmer
going home from the . grist mill, a
housewif e returning f rommarket town
with her bargains of lamp oil. West In
dian molasses and green tea, or even a
passing peddler with, his load of tin
ware and corn brooms. ' In the old war
time the army had post riders, but
they were few and far between.
' My grandfather "was a soldier of. the
Revolution, and grandmother kept the
home fire burning here, and. provided
for their three children as weir as she
could while he was at the front - All
summer she had heard no word of him,
and when, one autumn day, a man in
a military cioas roae to tne aoor on a
white horse her heart beat quick.
"Does Ruth Fuller live here?" e
saysholding a thick letter in his hand.
"Yes, I am Ruth Fuller," and grand
mother reached eagerly, for the letter,
for -she saw the address in her hus
band's handwriting. : - '
;. "The postage is two shillln's." '
Grandmothers countenance ; f ell.
There wasn't 86 : much money- In the
bouse. .;..-, ';.;:.,-
- "Guess you don't know me," remark
ed the man, opening his cape and tip
ping back his cocked hat, but still hold
ing the letter..: She knew him then;
an enemy capable of a mean revenge.
"Ah, yes, you remember Tom Tur
ner, and how he asked you to marry
him, and you give him 'No, I thankee
and took John Fuller. I wasn't good
enough to marry" ye,' but ' I'm - good
enough now to-bring ye -letters from
the man that did; and I'm good enough
to charge ye a steep price foe goln' out
o' my way. So hand over your two
shillln's and take your letter." .
The poor woman told him she had no
money. To be held up In this heartless
a-id Insulting way was a bitter hurt
to bear. Her grief was deeper than
her resentment but she was too proud
to let the cruel fellow see ber weep.
'I will get you a good dinner," she
said, "and feed your horse, and give
you a pair of nice long stockings."
It was a humiliation to plead with
Tom Turner, but she could do no less.
'Money or nothln'," he says. And he
put the letter In his pocket and rode
away.
Grandmother went Into the house
and sat down and cried; and ber chil
dren, clinging about her, cried, too.
During her long months of waiting, at
odd hours she had spun, and woven
cloth, and sewed garments, and knit
ted woolen stockings for John's win
ter comfort, trusting to find some way
to send them to him. Now the messen
ger had come and gone who could at
least have carried, word, and he -had
refused even to give ber her bus
band's letter. .
"Ma, God knows' what the bad man
did," sobbed one of the little ones. "He
knows what nice things you've made
for pa, and He'll send a good man next
time."
The baby's thought relieved the
mother's despair, and the three lonely
hearts prayed and waited anxiously
for the "next time;" and, sure enough,
before winter came they saw the same
white horse galloping toward the
house. "He's brought the letter back!"
they all cried out together, for they
believed the rider to be the same man.
Grandmother rushed from the door
with all her children. The horseman
held out the same letter, and as he
gravely put It into her hands she
glanced up to his face and screamed for
Joy.
"John! It Is you!"
It did not take her husband long to
tell the rest of the story. Tom Turner
had returned to headquarters, and one
night, made talkative by an extra ra
tion of rum, he had bragged how he
"got even" with in old sweetheart who
Jilted him. His exploit reached the
ears of his commanding officer, who
took away his commission and put my
grandfather In his place. The new
post rider had brought bis own letter
to his wife. It was the first rural free
delivery in Mansfield town. Youth's
Companion.
MAKES $40,000 A DAY.
Senator Clark Said to Get that Income
from. His Copper Mines.
William Quigley, known familiarly
among his numerous friends as "Colo
nel," formerly a resident of Cleveland,
but now of Chicago, is at the Hollen
den. . As his- friends express it, "Colo
nel" Quigley" makes money so easily
that it looks simple, yet at the same
time he is one of the most approach
able men in the world. ..
"Colonel" Quigley turned his conver
sation onto the marvelous success and
wealth of Senator Clark, the copper
king. In the lobby of the hotel the oth
er night. - - 7 -"'
' "A good-size-up of Senator Clark,"
said Mr. Quigley, "Is obtained when it
is truthfully stated that he is a man
who. not. only laughs at great trusts,
but, simply snaps his fingers in their
faces. The powerful " copper trust,
known, as the Amalgamated Copper
Company,, would like very much to get
Senator Clark and Ills vast - interests
under their control. This man, how
ever, not only repudiates all advances,
but hurls back defiance. . " .
: -He rolls In wealth that it would be
folly to try to compute, and cares ab
solutely nothing for any man. His
copper mines are the-most wonderful
hi the United States, besides which the
famous Calumet and . Hecla mines fade
almost into insignificance, and they net
him an income of easily $40,000 a day.
He purchased this tract of land around
Jerome, Art, after it had been passed
up as a poor investment by a number
of mining experts. ,. . .. .
"It has since developed-to be liter
ally a mountain df copper. The working
shafts are now down over 600 feet, and
a diamondr drill sent into - the earth
shows that the copper extends to a dis
tance of over 2,000 feet .
"There is no Jerome mining stock on
the market, for Senator Clark owns the
whole thing mines, "machinery, ware
houses,' andias- his own railway.: His
possessions - are -enormous, and he . is
truly a great rival of .Rockefeller and
the Standard Oil Company, as far as
o eaith is concerned. - - -
''Speaking -about the Value ' Of the
mines' at Jerome, Senator Clark was
approached - in New York with refer
ence to purchasing the Arizona claims.
His, reply was $10,000,000, but it Is
doubtful if he would sell the mines for
anywhere hear that figure." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.-- - -
; j j ; - Comets of a Century. - , . - '
: During , the nineteenth "century 235
new " comets "; were"" discovered;' as
against sixty-two-ln the-eighteenth-century.-1
: The nineteenth-century jdso. be
held a greater number jot ' large and
brilliant comets than did its predeces
sor. The finest of these were the com
ets of 1811," 1843, 1858; 1881 and 1882.
In. the i year 180Q only- -onft periodical
comet was known,. Halley's; now many
are known, of which at least seventeen
have been seen at more than one return
of perihelion. r .,. ' " , "
All from a Street Lamp.
In London they have a street lamp
which provides a stream of boiling wa
ter and dispenses tea, coffee and cocoa.
The' heat of the lamp warms the water,
and-by dropping a cent in the slot a
gallon of boiling, water may be bad.
Two cents brings you milk, sugar, tea,
coffee, etc. The light and heat are pro
vided by the city, which co-operates
with a private corporation that furnish
es the rest ' "'-:-s ; )
An old colored woman was "taking
on" yesterday afternoon over the death
of her baby as she was going from the
chureb to the hack which was to take
her to the cemetery. A white woman,
who knew her, happened to be passing
and : said,-, sympathetically: "Which
one of your children is dead. Aunt
Eliza?" "The one' in the hearse,"
moaned the negress; -; ' . -:-'''. "i.-
Every unmarried person is told at
least ten times a day that' be doesn't
know what trouble Is. ' .. ,
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring tha
World Orer Baylngrs thst Are Cheer
ful to Old or young Fanny Selec
tion that Krerybody Will Knjoy.
"No," said Mr.- Fosdlck, " decidedly,
"I tell you once for all, my daughter,
that I cannot think of letting you mar
ry that young man. Why, he's nothing
but a poor farmer."
"Poor farmer, papa?" repeated Miss
Fosdlck. "I guess you don't know that
Reuben has ten acres of fine potatoes
ready for the market"
. "Heavens! You don't say! I with
draw my objections. My dear child,
you will be rich beyond the dreams of
avarice."
Of Course He Did.
"What did your husband think of that
$25 hat you bought last week?"
'Oh! he Just raved over It"
Cautions Weary.
Raggles Weary's gittin' looney read-
in' them scientific patent medicine
books.
Trotter Wy, w'ats de row?
Raggles Aw, he's a tryin' ter work
er racket on de gang arbout indlvijool
tomatter cans, cause he's 'fraid of dose
backteery.
Under.
A dozen loaves, and each like lead,
Fell down upon the baker's head;
And it appeared, from what he said,
That he was somewhat under bred.
. Dear Bov.
"Isn't young Mr. Dolley a dear little
thing?" asked Miss Dude. -
ies, ne s such a womanly man," re
plied Miss Frocks.
Breath.
"An air trust will be the next thing,
I suppose!" . ...
"Gracious! Now, that would be
enough to .take one's breath away!"
Sly La y's Hot.
; Now in the wind her Gainsborough,
, Plume-laden, wildly flaps.
Unhandy hats, 'tis plain to see, :
Are often handicaps." .-
Toe Easi Life.
"When I want a real, out-and-out
mental rest I go South."
"Why?"
Well, up North you have to keep
your mind on judges, doctors, profes
sors, captains, mayors, majors and the
like;- but down South it is safe to call
every man 'Colonel.' " ' ' - -
Sidetracked.
Clara Pa has been home a whole
week, and he hasn't got to telling
thing yet about the Pan-American.
Laura Why not?
Clara Oh, everything he began to
tell reminded ma or me of something at
the Chicago world's fair.
Her Barometer.
"How Kin -you' . tell de age ob a
chicken?"
"By de teef."
"Go long, chickens doan' hab teef."
"But I has."
An Indifference Center.
Percy I don't see how you keep so
blamed cheerful and contented.
Guy Easy enough; I don t waste
time or vitality thinking about the peo
ple who have more of this world's fav
ors than I have. .. ... ,
Her Greatest Treasure. '-
. Mrs. Suburbanite John, 1 think -we
should have burglar alarms in the
house, and then if any one tried to
break in they would go" off. .
. Sir. . Suburbanite Yes, 'n' wake tlfe
baby, Boston Herald. ;
' Well Foundel.
"Keene insists that if be had only
gone into it he could have made a name
for. himself . in diplomacy." -
"On what grounds does he base his
claims?". - - " .
' "He says he has kept his wife and his
sister on speaking terms ever since he
was married." .;.
Quicker Way.
' Bobbs Did your uncle make his for
tune in Northern Pacific?
Nobbs No. He used to drive" an ice
wagon. Baltimore American,
Ienorance Is Bliss.
First Horse Bill Sorrel is., awfully
proud of his new hat ": '. ;'
Second Horse It's enough to make a
horse laugh, isn't it? The poor fool im
agines it's a real Panama. Puck. -
A Narrow Kscape.
She I'm so glad It's to be platonic
At one time I was afraid you would
propose.
He So was I!
- Only Thin a- to Do. -"I
am satisfied, your honor," said the
prosecuting attorney, "that the prisoner
really did not know the pistol was
loaded."
Yet he pointed It at his friend?" sug
gested the Judge. :
"Yes." . .
"And pulled the trigger?"
"Yes." '
"And the friend Is now carrying bis
arm in a sling in consequence?"
Yes."
Well," said the Judge, "it was entire
ly unintentional. I do not see how we
can very well send him to the peniten
tiary; but it seems to me we ought to
have very little difficulty in putting him
in an idiot asylum." Chicago Evening
Post
Hidden Powers.
I am perfectly amazed at Miss Bar
low's brilliant conversation," said Mer' :
ritt to Ricketts.
But I thought you had known her
for years?" said Ricketts.
'It Is true that we have belonged to
the same club for years, but t have
never heard her talk."
Impossible! What sort of a club
was it?"
Whist club."
An Emerorency Muster. .
Mrs. Dash Mrs. Rash's friends didn't
come.
Mrs. Cash Dear me! Her ice cream
and cake were a dead loss on her
hands
Mrs. Dash No, indeed. She rushed
around in her own neighborhood and
invited a lot of people she hadn't
asked. .
The Uiual Thine.
Brlggs I suppose, now that you've
got back from your vacation, you will
take a good long rest.
Griggs That's the worst of It I
spent so much money that I've got to
work harder than ever.
For Love.
He I understood she married him
for his money.
She No, it was for love.
He Love, Indeed?
She Of course. LovS of his money.
Chance for Venceinc?.
Slimson (angrily) I have sent the edi
tor of the Hightone Magazine forty-two
of my poems, and he has returned every
one of them.
Friend Don't send him any more. He
might get mad.
'Suppose he should? What could he
do?"
'He might publish one of them under
your real name." New York Weekly.
Wouldn't Get I.lckel So Often.
Mamma (who has just whipped Bob
by) You know, Bobby, I love you, and
when I whip you I do it for your own
good. . - .,
Bobby (crying) Well, I I wish you
didn't (boo hoo) think so much of me.
As Hesrards Aire.
"Her fiance? He look old enough
to know better."
"Appearances are deceptive. He Is, '
In fact only old enough to be her fath
er."
A Br lent Outlook.
Clara These autumnal days make
me sad. ' - ; '; : : -
Clarence Oh, cheer up, - dearie;.
we've got half a load of coal left over .
from last year. : .- .
Gay I.e ft-Over.. ' Y . '
She makes a bright spot on this dismal
sphere. : . .
Who wears the red waist that she had
last year. - -
Nothing Personal.
She When I marry I hope my. hus-
Dana win snume on tnis mortal con
wiinout unnecessary ueiuy. . i wuuc iu
-be a dashing young widow. - -;
He How cruel of you .to talk -like
that. " - '
She Oh, don't you care. . You'll not,
ha at tho haaH nf thp fllnprnl nvnnaa.
slon. Chicago News. .. .
' Natural Inference
Stubb Our foreign cousin is getting"
more Americanized every day. ' ; - - -
Penn Ah? ;. : ' .
Stubb Yes. Every time he passed a
well-paved block in Chicago he asked
which city alderman lived there. Chi-,
cago News.- . ...
Breezy Undertak'-ne. '
Blinks I hear you are about to start -a
new paper. What are you going to
call It? '-. ' - ,'
Jinks I had thought seriously -of
calling It the Bugle. ; . .
- Blinks Good! Just the thing if you
have fully made up your mind to blow
yourself.Chicago News.
Wben the Stork Cornea to Holland.
' In some of the towns of Holland, es
pecially those which In past time suf
fered much from Spanish invaders un
der King Philip II.. there is prevailing'
the strange custom of "announcing the-
front door a rapper or knocker called
"klopper," enveloped In linen, lace or
cloth. This usage, which is still ob
served, particularly by the patrician
families, is said to derive Its origin
from a Spanish ordinance according
to which soldiers seeking quarters
were forbidden to be billeted at houses
where newly born children had arriv-
n A A h.lf.nmnno nil "L'lAniiii." rtn
m. ...... .. . 1 , i "-j-,i . au
nounces the birth of a girl, one wholly
.n.lniu Ti n f fit a Twiv Tnflnrn foul. .
ion demanded costly lace, which - in
some cases Is inherited from genera
tion to generation, and again the lace
to be employed to be wound round, the
mother's wedding bouquet Is of ten used
for this purpose. ; 1 Wrapper's head.
Bhield, denotes the birth of a son; one-
half red , and half white. - that of a
daughter. -; - ;
Don't name a daughter Florence;
she will inevitably be called Flossie. .