CORDIALITY OVERDONE.
fl Emma cljSiSOwS Joibor I
NCE more the pistol of the assas-
I sin has brought anarchy and the
anarchist to the cynosure of the
world's eyes. The red emblem of the
order is once more subjected to the scru
tiny of the world' police powers, and
once more the question arises:
What is anarchy? What is'this hydra
headed thing against which the searing
by fire of the bleeding necks is no longer
effective?
The question may be answered In a
paradox perhaps must be answered so.
Anarchy, broadly speaking. Is at once the
gentlest and the most violent of social
remedies. Its apostles have been gentle
dreamers on the one hand and scourges,
armed with fire and sword, on the other.
In its advancement the individualist and
the assassin have been coupled in the
public mind. The man who would do
right simply because it is right, and the
fiend who, conceiving all society to be
wrong, would add one more gigantic
wrong to the whole in order to set all
right again.
In a word, anarchy, of whichever type,
means an abolition of the government of
man by man and the constitution of a
society without government. It is not a
' new idea in men. It has been contended
that the principle antedates the reforma
tion. But as "anarchy" the movement
belongs to the times of Proudhon in
France, who voiced it in the mildness
of the philosopher, and to Hess, the Ger
man, who in 1843 flung its red banner to
the breeze under which the Russian,
Prince Kropotkln, 'came later as an ex
WHEN POLLY DANCED A MINUET
Now high and clear, then low and sweet
The music rippled through -the air,.
While waxen candles shed soft light
Upon the gay throng gathered there.
The fragrant breath of new-mown hay
Came from the fields that lay outside,
And perfume from the roses stole
Through doors and windows open wide.
The dusky fiddlers' rosined bows
Flew o'er the quick responding strings
And Love tripped with the dancers gay,
And touched them with his shining
wings
The powdered hair framed faces young,
Their coats were gay as Joseph's own,
And tongues and feet as lightly flew
' As seed from ripened thistles blown.
New Lippincott.
ROSES AND VIOLETS.
curtain 'had been rung down
Vlroii the matinee performance at
the Empire Theater and - the
streets in the vicinity of the popular
playhouse presented a lively scene. An
animated crowd choked the pavements
and impeded progress in all directions.
Private carriages drew up at the curb
to receive their aristocratic owners,
while less fortunate patrons succeeded
in making their way to homeward
bound electrics. ,
A number of the younger element
and that class had formed a good part
of the large audience hurried around
to the stage entrance. There they wait
ed patiently for the appearance of the
various members of the company,
their laughing chatter revealing their
enjoyment, but more particularly their
devotion to the "star."
An audible murmur of admiration
greeted John Leonard as he paused an
instant outside the door. The girls had
ample opportunity to view the hero of
the afternoon, minus make-up and ro
mantic 8nrroundlngs.
Richard Alton smiled slightly as he
Joined Leonard, and together the two
men started for their hotel. Alton im
personated the villain In the famous
drama, a most thankless character,
save that it afforded him capital scope
to display his talents. As an actor he
excelled in the heavy parts, and in that
line, as well as all others calling for
strong scenes, he far outshone the
leading man in the eyes of the critics.
But to the matinee girls he represented
the enemy of virtuous manhood, as
personified in Gerald Harden (John
, Leonard)-and the persecutor of the idol
of their girlish hearts, Laura Kingsley.
"Miss Kingsley's popularity seems at
Us height,'' said Leonard, as a commo
. tion in the street behind them attracted
his attention. Alton did not speak un
til the' carriage which was dashing
down the street passed them as they
stood on the crossing. He caught a
glimpse: of the occupant, and she saw
him as he raised his hat involuntarily.
She nodded to both men and smiled
cordially, but for one brief instant her
eyes rested on Alton with a swift
.gleam which would have betrayed
pain, but for the smile on ber lips. Al
ton caught tb expression and walked
ponent of the terrorism for which one
form of anarchy so long has stood.
For anarchy is of two classes, individ
ualistic and communistic. The first is
the philosophy of the thinker, which has
advanced as the object of its being the
attainment of "Liberty, not the daughter
but the mother of order." That other
anarchy is that which through the influ
ence of terrorism shall crumble empires
and republics alike, while from their dust
shall rise a free people who shall be in
no need of restraints at the hands of
their fellow-men. Disciples of this phi
losophy would build communistic centers
upon the ruins of government which vio
lence should have brought about.
To-day that form of anarchy such as is
giving concern to the police and military
powers of the world has its hotbed in
continental Europe. Vienna, beyond all
the other capitals on the continent, is said
to harbor its doctrinaires. Switzerland
has contended with its "propaganda of
action," which Kropotkin stood for in
1879. Italy, France, Spain, Russia, and
nearly every other continental country
has felt its force. London itself has been
a nest of anarchistic vipers in times past.
From all this territory, too, the gradual
closing in of the. police power has forced
both leaders and tools of anarchy to seek
asylums in America? The problem of
anarchy as now presented to the United
States government has to deal almost
wholly with .this foreign born element.
Its principles, as voiced by the mani
festo of the Geneva conference in 1882,
stand in great measure for the propa
ganda of action of to-day:
on in silence. Leonard made no com
ment, but kept pace with his friend.
When they reached the hotel Alton
became talkative.
"You said Miss Kingsley's popular
ity was at its height just now, Jack,"
Alton said slowly.
"Well; so It is, and she deserves all
the praise and homage they can show
er upon her. Did you notice those girls
waiting to see their favorite? They
adore her, and I glory in their admira
tion and willing worship." .
Leonard smiled a trifle cynically.
"You mean you Join with them in
their worship," he said significantly.
"Why not speak plainly, Dick? Praise
for them, but none for yourself, eh?
That will -never do, old - boy. Your
heart's secret would probably Interest
Mlss Kingsley more deeply than a
crowd of schoolgirls and their fleeting
affection. ..
Alton looked at him eagerly. -
"That is if she has a heart -to give
you In return," Leonard went on.
"Some members of the profession think
otherwise, I must confess."
' : Alton's hand closed on his . arm
fiercely.-
"Don't mention her If you hold any
such opinion as that," he said, threat
eningly, i ' " ' . -
Leonard laughed a bit sharply.
"Don't flare up, old man. But you
know her past experience, Dick; Jim
Morton broke ber heart years ago, be
fore he died, that's all, old man. I do
not think vou can bring happiness to
her at this late day." -
Alton arose and faced him calmly,
resolutely.
"I mean to try, Jack," he said sim
ply. "To-night I shall send a bunch
of violets to her room, and if she ac
cepts them in my name I shall re
joice "
"And I shall send her roses," Leon
ard interrupted, airily; "the costliest,
most fragrant shower of American
Beauties my salary can stand. No vio
lets for me, my boy; the way to win a
woman's regard by flowers is through
the rose. It costs more, you know, and
thereby makes a better impression, and
then it is love's own messenger, Dick.
Had you forgotten that?"
When Alton entered the theater that
evening his cheeks were flushed and
his eyes glistened, but his manner was
reassuring. He made his way between
the rows of set pieces to the narrow
stairway leading to the second floor.
He paused on the landing and looked
about for the call boy. That individual
did not materialize on the Instant, but
in his place appeared a beautiful little
creature closely resembling a picture
book fairy.
"Oh, Dick," cried the fairy, ecstati
cally, "what lovely flowers! Are they
for mamma? She loves violets." v-
"Does she, Dolly? I am glad to hear
that." - - : ; -
The fairy was a trifle surprised at
the fervor of his tone.
"Yes, they are for mamma, and you
must handle them carefully; they are
not as durable as the "props,' Dolly
kins. And, mind yon, don't lose the
note that's far more precious than the
flowers."
He detached several of the modest
flowers from the pretty bunch and put
them In the child's other hand as she
reached for the bouquet. She danced
Our ruler is our enemy. We anarchists are
men without any rulers, fighting against, all
those who hare usurped any power or who
wish to usurp It.
Our enemy is the owner of the land who
keeps It for himself and makes the peasant
work for his advantage.
Our enemy Is the manufacturer who fills
his factory with wage slaves; our enemy Is
the state, whether monarchical, oligarchical,
or democratic, with Its officials and staff
officers, magistrates and police spies.
Our enemy is every thought of authority,
whether men call It God or devil. In whose
name the priests have bo long ruled honest
people.
Our enemy Is the law which always op
presses the weak by the strong to the justifi
cation and apotheosis of crime.
- But if the landowners, the manufacturers,
the heads of the state, the priests, and the
law are our enemies, we are also theirs, and
we boldly oppose them. We Intend to re
conquer the land and the factory from the
landowner and the manufacturer; we mean
to annihilate the state under whatever name
it may be concealed; and we mean to get our
freedom back again In spite of priest or law.
According to our strength we will work
for the humiliation of all legal Institutions,
and are in accord wfth every one who defies
the law by a revolutionary act. We despise
all legal means because they are the negation
of our rights. Between ns anarchists and all
political parties, whether conservatives or
moderates, whether they fight for freedom
or recognize it by their admissions, a deep
gulf is fixed. We wish to remain our own
masters. It Is ours to conquer and defend
common property and to overthrow govern
ments by whatever name they may be called.
This is the anarchy which stands for
the "propaganda of action." It is no re
lation of that constructive anarchy of
Proudhon and of Tucker, who advocated
"Liberty, not the daughter, but the moth
er of order." It has no kinship with so
cialism and o little affinity the socialistic
atmosphere that Germany, the hotbed of
socialism, is prohibitive of anarchy.
away from him in delight, kissing her
hand to him as she skipped down the
stairs. On the lower floor she con
fronted the leading man in the act of
ascending. Her eyes widened as she
saw the huge cluster of roses Leonard
endeavored to conceal from her.
"Give me a rose, Mr. Leonard?" she
begged saucily, placing the violets be
hind her.
"I guess not," Leonard answered
shortly. "These flowers come too high,
young lady, to waste their fragrance
in a child's careless hand."
Little Miss Dolly looked after his re
treating form with angry resentment
blazing in her big, brown eyes.
"I'll Just tell mamma," she confided
to the violets. "I don't think she likes
Mr. Leonard, anyway. Dick Isn't
stingy," she added, a little smile dis
pelling the frown with the swiftness
of magic. "And I think mamma likes
Dick." :
At the close of rehearsal the follow
ing afternoon Leonard accosted Alton.
"I congratulate you, Dick," he said,
extending his hand with forced cor
diality. "I misjudged the lady's choice,
it seems. I bow before the violet's su
premacy and hail that particular flower
as love's accepted messenger in this
important Instance."
Miss Kingsley had approached the
two men unseen and laid ber handi
lightly on Alton's arm. Then she!
turned to Leonard, smilingly. j
"The violets told me one story," she
said, with bewitching naivete. "A very
sweet and welcome -one, I admit, but
the little maiden who brought them to
me told another. She was only a child,
but she loved violets, as did her moth
er. She held them, tenderly and was
rewarded with a cluster all her own.
The generous giver marred the beauty
of the florist's creation to please a child
and the child appreciated the' act So
did the child's mother. She realized the
difference between the man who offer
ed, the modest violet," enriched by-the
wealth of his heart's best love, and one
who Imagined the more expensive the
flower the more impressive his suit," ..."
Leonard bowed and walked ; away
without a word. . -
Dick. bent, his . handsome head and
kissed Miss Kingsley. "My darling,"
he whispered, softly. "My beautiful
wife that is to be." And she realized
that for her life had Just revealed its
brightest colors, and the man before
her brought treasures beyond price and
hitherto unknown love and happiness.
Indianapolis Sun.
England's Royal Library.
The royal library at Windsor castle
contains about. 100,000 volumes, and
among them are many literary curios.
A unique Caxton on vellum, the Bible
which Charles I. took with him to the
scaffold, the same monarch's copy of
Shakspeare and an original copy of
"The Faery Queen" are among Wind
sor castle's literary treasures.
Novel Employment for Firemen. ,
On a recent Sunday the fire depart
ment of Berlin was called upon to dis
perse four different swarms of bees
which had' taken up quarters in the
streets. .
Love Is responsible for a good many
frosts in summer and for a few hot
wares in winter.
ACTIVITY IN THE COAST STATES.
Industrial Development That Indicates Steady Forward
Progress in Oregon, Idaho, Washington
. - and California.
Pacific Cable Assured.
The Pacific "coast waa agreeably
startled last month by the announce
ment from Albany, N. x. tnai a com
pany had been Incorporated there for
laying a cable across the Pacific
ocean. -
The route will be from San Fran
cisco to Honolulu, thence to the Mid
way islands, to Guam and to the
east coast of Luzon. The cable will
be 6,912 miles long, completing the
telegraphic system of the entire
globe, and making a total of 164,586
miles, all of which, excepting 16,171
miles, is 'controlled by private Indi
viduals. At the roming session of congress
a bill will be introduced to push
through the construction work of .the
cable. -
The estimate of cost by Rear-Admiral
Bradford, of the Naval Bureau
of equipment, is $10,000,000.
The special demands by the gov
fhia phl will be re
duced rates and absolute control over
the line in time of war.
Washington Coal at Honolulu.
The purchase of the Sandwich
Islands has opened up the coal trade
in Honolulu. Large shipments are
made there each week from Puget
Sound ports. The trade is increasing
and the present demand may be
doubled the next twelve months. New
interest is being infused into coal
mining and many new locations are
being made. Several hundred acres
have recently been covered by coal
land applications in Stevens county,
Washington, and the Washington
owners of fine deposits in British
Columbia near the boundary line are
getting in readiness for the extensive
development of their large holdings.
California Fruits In Europe
The latest American invasion of
Europe is the carrying of fresh Cali
fornia fruits to London and Paris in
the face of the competition of the
Spanish and? Italian fruit growers. A
Valencia, Spain, paper says: "Cali
fornia oranges, peaches and pears
reach Paris, after traversing six thou
sand miles, in a more appetizing con
dition than ours," and adds that her
fruit growers can only compete with
America by employing America's im
proved methods of cultivation. 1
Where They Do Things. :
During 1900 several young men
from Eastern states and some from
the fatherland, settled upon land in
Lincoln and Adams counties. Wash.
Some had only a few cents left after
paying the government filing fee,
$22, but by exchanging work with
neighbors, and by working for others,
managed to get their land all broke
and sown to wheat last fall, and on
these same claims the threshers are
turning out thirty to forty-five bush
els per acre. - .
University of Southern California.
The University of Southern Califor
nia has been opened under favorable
auspices. The $100,000 endowment
fund, to which Mrs. Anna Hough, a
sister of the late Jay Gould, sub
scribed $25,000, subject to the condi
tion that the university raise the re
mainder by November 1, is now com
plete. Mrs. Hough has now an
nounced that she will give $40,000
toward a second $100,000, subject to
the same condition as the first.
Big Sawmill Starts. '
The Simpson Lumber Company's
new mill at South Bend, Wash.,
which has been for .several months
in course of construction, began op
eration Sept. 28. This is a first-class
modern mill and one of the best on
t!ie Pacific coast, having a capacity
of 125,000 feet per day.
A Juvenile Bunko Man. ' "
. Tommy had been quiet for fully five
minutes.. He seemed to be engaged
with some deep problem.
"Papa," he" said.
"Well?" .- : . - ' .
"Do unto others as you would have
others do unto you' that's the golden
rule, isn't it, papa?" :
"Yes, my son."
"And it's puttickly right to follow the
golden rule, isn't It, papa?" --"Yes,
Indeed." "1
Tommy rose, went to the cupboard
and returned with a knife and a large
apple pre. ' The latter he placed before
his astonished sire with great solemni
ty.' - . ; -: .
"Eat it," papa!" he said. San Fran
cisco Bullejtin; '
-'-V Shrewd.
"I Insist that my daughter shall play
nothing but classical music,"' said Mr.
Sirius Barker. . 1
"For what reason?" -
"None of the neighbors know a thing
about it, and she can murder a piece all
she wants to without their daring to
say a word." Washington Star.
A cabinetmaker is one of the circum
stances that alter cases. "
A woman may love flattery and yet
despise an awkward flatterer.
- Different Sorts of Baldness,
. He You don't mean to tell me you
are going to marry that old bald-headed
professor? -
She He Is rather bald, but think how
many young men of to-day are bald on
the inside of their heads! Stray Sto
ries. - - "
As a rule the more a man wants the
less he gets and the rule isn't too
stuck up to work rear end forward,
either. .
- His Misfortnnev
"What is the matter. Tommy?" asked
the mother of the small boy in tears.
"I'm . lonesome. The other boys
wouldn't play fair." -
L "What was the game?" - .
"We were playing United States Sen
ate. I resigned and the other boys for
got to. coax me back." Washington
Star.
Every man has more confidence in his
lnck than he should have.
Don't mourn for those who are dead;
think what they arc missing.
Harvested While You Wait.
The department of agriculture at
Washington has issued a report of
the general agricultural conditions in
the Pacific coast region. It says
that although the tendency for the
last twenty-five years has been to
ward a gradual reduction of tho
area of individual farms and rancnes,
they are still of a size much larger
than the average farm of the East,
or even of the Middle West. This is
particularly true in California.
Transportation of the enormous
quantity of Pacific coast wheat has
been reduced to a science. A large
saving is made by loading ships di
rectly from the cars, trains being run
from the wheat fields to tidewater at
a very few hours' notice. In Wash
ington and Oregon, however, ' the
wheat is run through an elevator,
where it is re-cleaned and mixed with
other grades of wheat to bring it
to the required standard grade, after
which It is re-sacked and loaded on
the vessels, or cars, for final ship
ment. About 27,450,000 bushels of wheat
are exported annually on the Pacific
coast, with a total value of about
$20,000,000. .
Useful, Beautiful and Valuable.
The chief attraction at the inter
state fair held at Spokane last month
was the magnificant display of pol
ished marble and onyx from the
nuarries in Stevens county. Wash.
There were five different districts
represented. These exhibits speak
volumes for the possibilities of Wash
ington as a producer of the finest
marble and onyx known. The extent
of -the deposits is very large, and
sufficient in themselves to supply a
considerable portion of the large de
mand for material of this kind.
Connects North and South Idaho.
The commissioners , representing
the state in the construction of the
Little Salmon wagon road, in Idaho,
have accepted it from the contract
ors. The legislature last winter ap
propriated $12,000 for the construc
tion of this road and this appropria
tion was supplemented by donations
of $3000 by the Oregon Short Line
and an equal amount by the Pacific
& Idaho Northern railroads. The
total amount of $16,000 was expended
upon the 27 miles of road between
Goff and Round valley.
The Way of the West
Forty new houses are in course of
construction in Pendleton, Or., a
town of 5000 population. One hun
dred and twenty-five have been built
within the last year, and these are
all occupied, meaning an increase in
population of 500. This is not a boom,
but merely a natural growth that is
general throughout the West.
Taps a Good Country.
. Articles - of incorporation of tha
Tacoma Southern Railway & Naviga
tion Company were filed last week,
with a capital stock of $4,000,000.
The new company announces as its
object the construction of lines of
railway from Tacoma to The Dalles,
Oregon, on the Columbia river.
. Harney Coming to the Front
Harney county, Oregon, is steadily
gaining in wealth and population:
The cattle sales from 'that county
will amount to $1,000,000, this year,
as against $800,000 last year, and the
agricultural products ' are about
double what they were last season.
- To Build a Big Refinery.
The Standard Oil Company will
erect the third largest refinery in
the United States at Point Richmond,
Cat, near Frisco. Over three million
dollars will be spent on the new plant.
Mnsic Hath Strange Charms.
"It requires tact and diplomacy to
collect little outstanding accounts these
days, especially when dealing' with city
employes," said a Manayunk business
man the other day, according to the
Philadelphia Record." "It's no use mak
ing a bluff or pleading poverty when
dealing with policemen. Their hearts
are like adamant. You must go gently
kind of size them up, as it were.
Strike them about pay day before their
wives get at the wallet; for, of course,
if their better halves get it first you
are left, and the poor copper has hardly
enough let to buy his tobacco until the
next month. - . - .-
' "You see, I have an advantage be
cause I am a sort of musician." When
the officer gets his money 'he will re
turn to the sitting room of the station;
take an account of stock and confer
with the other fellows about how to
make the pile reach out until the next
pay day, :
"I enter the room with' a cheery
'Good-morning, gentlemen,' inquire
into their various healths, talk mitotic
of the weather, and then sit down at
the organ and sing that beautiful song,
'Then You'll Remember Me.' By-and-by
they pony up and I hurry off to the
next station and play the same old
tune." -.v ..
Iron and Steel Export.
America last year exported $120,000,
000 worth of iron and steel, an amount
greater in value than her entire ex
ports of all kinds in 1890..
When a boy begins to wash his face
without being told he is passing through
the ordeal of his first love affair.
Almosfevery girl of sixteen hn. w
tnind made up that some day she will
have a son named De MountviUe, or
! daughter named '-'-- "
Oom Paul a Temperance Man. -.
Mr. Kruger, as every one knows, la
a constant smoker; it is" not, perhaps,
so well understool that he has only
once tasted alcohol in his life. That
was at Bloemfontein, after the signing
of the alliance "with the Free State.
Kruger Is said to have taken off a bum
per of champagne, and put down the
glass with a face of disgust. '-'
"Didn't yon hear about it?" "No."
"Why, the thing happened right dowa
In your own neighborhood.", "I know;
but my wife's away for the lummer."
Philadelphia Press, -,'" --. -
Lady's Poor Memory Led Ber Into a
, Peculiar Position.
Whoever has a short memory for
names and faces will be able to appre
ciate the experience of a resident of
Detroit, whose story is told by the Free
Press of that city. The lady's friends,
who recognize her inability to fit names
and faces together, pay that she usually
makes up in tact what she lacks in
memory.
One afternoon recently, says the lady,
who tells her own experience, 1 was
sitting on the veranda when a rather
nice-looking young man, carrying a
small satchel, came up the walk. He
bowed pleasantly, and I returned his
greeting as cordially as I could, while
racking my brain for bis name.
He looked familiar, but I could not
recall his name. Here was an old
friend from out of town, probably
perhaps a relative of my husband and
I must not fail in cordiality. So I greet
ed him warmly, shook bands, and In
vited him to be seated. I said I was
delighted to see him, and - knew my
family would be equally glad. I regret
ted that so long a time had elapsed
since we had last met I fioped his fam
ily was quite well, and of course be had
come to dinner.
Thus I rattled on, fearing to let him
discover what a hypocrite I was, and
hoping all the while that his name
would .come to me. Finally he managed
to say:
"I'm afraid you don't know who I
am."
"Oh, yes, I do," I responded. "Of
course I know perfectly."
"No, I am sure you don't even know
my name."
. "Well," I admitted, "your name has
escaped me for the moment; but I am
so wretched on names! Don't tell me;
I shall recall it in time."
"Do not try," responded the young
man, pleasantly. "I am only the sewing
machine man. I came to repair your
machine."
Take Oat Jocko's Brain.
No convincing proof has yet been
given that any particular portion of the
brain is exclusively concerned in intel
lectual operations. Goltz, the most
prominent representative of the dwin
dling band who still refuse to believe
in the localization even of the motor
functions, has lately published an inter
esting paper containing the results of
observations on a monkey, which was
carefully watched for eleven years
after the removal of the greater part
of the gray matter of the middle and
Interior portions of the left hemisphere
of the brain. The character of the ani
mal, whose little tricks and peculiari
ties had been studied for months before
the operation, was entirely unaffected.
All its traits remained unaltered. On
the other hand, disturbances of move
ment on the right side were very notice
able up to the time of its death. It
learned again to use the right limbs,
but there was always a certain clumsi
ness in their movements. In actions re
quiring only one hand the right was
never willingly employed, and It evi
dently cost the animal a great effort to
use it Before the operation it would
give either the right or left hand when
asked for it. After the operation it al
ways gave the left fill by a long course
of training, in which fruit or lumps of
sugar served as the rewards of virtue.
It learned again to give the right Pop
ular Science Monthly.
Walker Gave tbe Horse Away.
"J. Brisben Walker has one of the
most adventurous natures of any. man
of Importance I know," said Harvey
Wells, of Denver, who is at the Savoy.
"When Walker was remaking a mile
or so of river front in Denver that he
later turned into a fine park a sudden
rise of the Platte washed away a lot of
things, including the ground from un
der a stable on the Improvement Walk
er was making. When Walker came
on the scene to look over the damage
done a horse that had been in the stable
was half submerged and in danger of
being smothered in the quicksand and
rolling mud that the angry waters
made of the half-prepared new ground.
Walker asked several men to go and
help the horse. When they refused he
started laying planks along the treach
erous ground, Just as they do to get
drowning persons from out an Icy river.
In a short time be was In ar position
where a false step meant an even
chance for life or death. He got both
the horse and himself out of the scrape.
Then he turned around and discharged
every man on the Job, and wound up
by giving the horse away." New York
Times.
Gets Huge Moose Horns.
Hunters of the moose have encoun
tered old fellows with enormous spread
of horns, and some of these have been
preserved as trophies of the chase. An
Indian hunter of the Hudson Bay Com
pany has slain the monarch of all
moose. Its massivs antlers, having a
spread of six feet two inches,- large
enough to take In the figure of an out
stretched man, now adorn tbe dining
hall of the country house of Mr. Olcutt
a New Yorker, at Bernardsville. The
moose was shot last season at the head
of the Copper River region in Alaska,
some 300 miles above Cooks . inlet,
whence it was afterward brought on
a dog sledge. It was then shipped to
a Chicago furrier, who had the head
mounted. , - .
: The Scholar and His Mattress.
A famous scholar, whose hobby was
the derivation of words, had occasion
to store his furniture while proceeding
to the continent in quest of the origin
of the term "Juggins." During his re
searches in Berlin he received from the
warehouse company the following let
ter: "Sir: We have the honor to inform
you that the mattrass you sent to our
store had the moth in It Since the epi
demic would expose the. goods of other
clients to Injury we have caused your
mattrass to be destroyed." The scholar
replied: "Dear Sir: My mattress may,
as you say, have bad moth in it but I
am confident that it had an 'e' in it
also." - - ;.,.
' Juvenile Financier. :
"Father," said Jack, "would you like
me to give you a birthday present?"
"Yes, indeed." - .
- "Then now is the time to double my
weekly pocket money, so's I'll have the
money to buy it when your birthday
comes." London Tit-Bits. . - : :.
Mrs. Gas well The Czar of Russia
now has four daughters. Mr. Gaswell
Oh, the dear little Czardlnes!
Clerk I suppose you want a grand
planq, madam? Mrs. Wyndfall (dis
dainfully) Grand, I want a magnifi
cent one.
A Bald Assertion: Barber Your hair
will be gray If it keeps on. Scanty
locks Well, I hope It will keep on.
Baltimore World.
She So you went to see Hamlet? Do
you think Hamlet was mad? He I
expect so- There wasn't over five
pounds in tbe house.
Friend Each side of the question
presents difficulties. Statesman Ex
actly! I think I'll take a bold stand on
both sides of the question.
, Minister Bridget, these potatoes
taste mouldy. Bridget Yis, sorr, OI
dare say, sorr they set nixt to your
barrel o' sermons in the suller.
If a doctor will whip his horse Into
a mad gallop Just before be turns the
corner to a woman patient's home, he
will always keep her practice.
Pertinent and Impertinent: "Doctor,
your tonic made a new man of me." -"A
new man? Well, how is he oft
financially ?" Chicago Record-Herald.
Ferdy How much does It cost per
mile to run your auto? Algy Well, It
costs about a cent a mile to run it,
and about ten dollars a mile to repair
it
"What are you doing there?" cried
the farm dog as be observed the hen in
the coal bin. "Oh, I thought this was
a good time to lay in coal," cackled tbe
hen.
Kind: Mrs. KIngley The dressmaker
says she won't make me another gown
unless you pay her bill. KIngley
That's good of her. God bless her.
Life.
Tough Party (in hardware store) 1
wanted buy a dog muzzle, see? Clerk
(affably) All right, sir. What size do
you wear? University of Chicago
Weekly.
"There Is no doubt that this scheme
will pay," said the promoter. "Yes."
answered the purchaser of stock. , "I
suppose so. But who is to get the
money?"
Staidhome (telling the news of the
village) My nephew, Clarence Turn
water, has become a finishe J elocution
ist Beenaway That so? Kill him
yourself?
"Our college colors are pink and old
gold," said Miss Frocks. "Our college
colors were black and blue when I was
Initiated into the secret society," added
her brother.
"Who Is the smartest boy in your
class, Bobby?" asked his uncle. "I'd
like to tell you. Uncle," answered Bob
by, modestly, "only papa says 1
mustn't boast."
Beught Medicine Himself: "I've just
been drugged and robbed," said he: "1
think it Is a shame!" The officer Just
yawned and said: "What was the drug
gist's name?" Life.
Ma It's time we thought of Grace
getting married. She is already 22
years old. Pa Oh, let her wait till the
right sort of a man comes along! Ma
Why wait? I didn't
I don't mind It under certain condi
tions," replied the canal boat mule.
"You don't appear to like your exer
cise on the towpath." . "No. That's
Where I draw the line."
Hostess Dear me! what shall I do?
Husband Do? What's the troubla
now? - Hostess Why, our guest, Mr.
Stout Is so fat and I have nothing but
a spare room to put him In. Illustrat
ed Bits.
Chappie I'd Just like to know what
you .mean by being engaged to both
Cholly and me at once. Miss Pinkie
I Why, bless me! there is no harm done;
' you can't either of you afford to marry
I me, you know.
General Stop that reporter. Aide
' What! Don't you want him to send
home an account of your heroism? "No.
I don't want to be an American hero
for a week and a punching bag for the
rest of my life."
He was obviously anxious, and she
seemed almost willing. "I shall refer
you to papa," said she, with a becom
ing blush, "before giving you a final
answer." "liut l am perrecciy wining
to take you without any reference,"
said be, magnanimously.
Management: "Don't you think you
lose patience with your husband on
rather slight provocation?" said the
near relative. "I have to provoke blm
sometimes," was the placid answer,
"so that he will lose his temper, anJ
then give me anything I want so as to
atone for the way be has acted."
"Huh!" exclaimed Mr. Rox, after
reading his morning mail, "our boy's
college education is making him too
blamed smart." "What's the matter?"
asked Mrs. Rox. "I wrote to him the
other day that I thought it would be
kinder for me not to remit the cheek
he asked for. Now he' writes: 'Dear
Father I shall never forget your un
remitting kindness.' "
" If a father gave nineteen cents, to
one of his sons, and six cents to the
other, what time would it be? Why, a
quarter to two, of course. If a post
master went to a" menagerie and was
eaten by one of the wild beasts, what
would be the hour? Nothing could be
easier. Eight P. M." If a guest at a
restaurant ordered a lobster and ate it
and another guest did tbe same, what
would be the second guest's telephone
number? Absurdly simple. 8-1-2.
Matches Contraband in France.
Tourists in Europe this year have
been admonished . to remember that
matches are a government monopoly in
France and are liable to be taxed at
the rate of a franc per match if an at
tempt to smuggle them In is discover
ed, writes a Paris correspondent These
government monopolies lead sometimes
to the exercise of an almost childish
tyranny. In Italy, for instance, where
salt is a monopoly, and Is consequent
ly at an exorbitant price, it Is a pun
ishable offense for the private individ
ual to extract It from the sea water.