Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, September 17, 1901, Image 4

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    What are Humors?
They are vitiated or morbid fluids cours
ing the veins and affecting the tissues.
They are commonly due to defective diges
tion but are sometimes Inherited.
How do they manifest themselves T
In many forms of cutaneous eruption,
salt rheum or eczema, pimples and bolls,
and In weakness, languor, general debility.
How are they expelled? By
Hood's Sarsaparilla
which also builds up the system that has
suffered from them.
It Is
the best medicine for all humors.
The Leader's Definition.
"What is a contract?" asked the
young hopeful.
His father, the great labor leader,
looked up from his paper and smiled
with pleasure at this evidence of a de-'
i f Z nZla
Bire lor Knowledge.
"I'm glad you asked the question,
my boy," he said. "There is consider- t
able misconception as to tne meaning
of that word, and it is well that you
should get the thing straight while
you are still young. A contract is
something that binds the other fellow
without affecting you." Chicago Post.
This signature is on every box of the genuine
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tabu.
the remedy that cures at eold la OM day
Beat the Typewriter.
"I can take 100 words a minute,"
said the shorthand writer. "I often
take more than that," remarked the
other, in sorrowful accents; " but then
I have to. I'm married."
" BOW'S THIST '
We offer One Hundred Dollars Seward
case of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Hall's
Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY &Co., Props., Toledo, O.
We the undersigned, have known F.J. Chens
for the past 15 years, and believe him perfectly
honorable in all business transactions and fln-
encially able to carry out any obligations made
vj meir arm.
Wist & Tbtjax,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Whoiesate Dru.,f. Toild'o
Hall's Catarrh Care is taken internally, acting
directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system. Price 75c tier bottle. Sold hi nil
drugiristi. Testimonials free. .
. u WTO.
-
The Higher One.
"Can any little boy in the class," ,
said the teacher, "tell me what is
meant by 'above par?' "
Profund silence, and the teacher
said again: "Tommy Jones, perhaps
you can tell me what's 'above par?'."
"Ma, I guess," said Tommy.
Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
He Took It
Host So sorry you have to he going.
Guest Indeed, I am too. By the
way, I'm not sure about my train. It's
9 something, hut
Host's Eldest It's 9:32. Pa said he
hoped you'd take that one. Philadel
phia Record.
TO CTJKK A COLD IK ONE DAT
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
buggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
B. W. Grove's signature is on each box. 25c.
' They Always Look It -
Biggs There goes Stoneyfellow, the
multimillionaire. ' He's a self-made
man.
Mrs. Biggs Well, anyone could see
at a glance that he isn't tailor-made.
Chicago Daily News.
FIT0 Permanently Cored. No fits er nerrousnes:
S I I V after first day's useof Dr. Kline's Great Notts
Beatorer. Send for FRKE$'i.OOtrialbottleandtreat.
in. Ba.B.H.Kj.iii.Ltd..l31irchSt,.Philadelphia.Pa.
An III Wind, Etc
MJrs. Pepprey There's that Miss
Nezdore pounding the piano.
Mr. Pepprey Yes, the landlord will
be here shortly, , and we'll use that as.
an excuse to have the rent reduced.
Philadelphia Pres.
IESTFOaT.ll
I0VJELS
tf yon haven't a reirular, healthy movement of the
towels erery day, you're slckupr will be. Keep your
ewsls open, and be well. Force, in tbe shape of
violent physic or pill poison, is dangerous. The
loaoothest. easiest, most perfect way ox keeping the
sowala clear and clean Is to take
5. Pleasant. Palatable, Potent. Taste Good. So Good,
lever Sloken, Weaken, or Gripe, 10c, 60o. Write
or free sample, and booklet on health. Address
Stortli Xuud; OapuT, tilrw, MoiU.il, ttm Isrk. sasa
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
One Against the Horse.
"There's -one good thing about an
automobile."
"What's that??
"It doesn't try to run up to every
watering fountain it comes to." Puck.
JfTjPSyV CANDY .
Eczema, Tetter, Psoriasis, Saw Rheum, Acne and a great many other
diseases of like character are classed skin diseases, when they could just as
properly be called blood diseases, for they undoubtedly originate in the blood, like
Cancer, Catarrh, Scrofula, Rheumatism, Contagious Blood Poison, etc ; the only
real difference being in the intensity and nature of the poison. The more serious
diseases, Cancer, Catarrh, etc., are caused by some specific poison or virus, which
is either inherited or in other ways gets into the blood and attacks certain vital
organs or appears in the form of terrible sores and ulcers, while the milder and
less dangerous skin diseases are caused by blood humors or an over acid condition
of that fluid. These acid poisons, as they ooze out through the pores of the skin
cause great irritation, with intense itching and burning. 'The eruption may be oi
a pustular kind, with excessive discharge of thick, gummy fluid, or the skin may
be hot, dry and feverish, swollen and fissured. Skin diseases, whether they appeal
vh uuovmuiy wb muBt Biucwreiy enaorae
your speoiflo as a cure for Eczema, the moat
irritating- end annoying- disease, I think, that
flash la heir to. I was troubled with it for
twentyifive years, and tried many remedies
with no (rood effeot. After using your medicine
a short time I think I am entirely relieved.
Tea can five this statement any publioity you
may desire, as it is voluntarily made, more for
those afflicted than notoriety for myself.
Very respeotfully,
Wflf. OAbXFBEIiXj,
813 West Central.'. " ' Wichita, Kens. '
clogged up by this treatment that the poisonous matter thrown off by the blood
cannot pass out of the system, and settles on the lungs, heart or some other vital
organ and endangers life. ' , .
To purify and build up the polluted blood is the right treatment for skin
diseases, andior this purpose no other medicine is so deservedly popular as S. S. S.
It is a perfect antidote for all blood humors, and when taken into the circulation,
gently but thoroughly eliminates all impurities and puts the blood in a healthy,
normal state. "The skin can't remain in an irritated, diseased condition TwIimi
nourished with rich, new blood. S. S. S. is the only guaranteed purely vegetable
remedy, and the safest and best skin beautifier. Write our physicians if you have
ujr vwvu ui uuu uiscuc, auu Lucy wui uicuiuujr auvue you Wlinout cnargaj
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY. ATLANTA. OA.
In His Pockets,
Mrs. Hardrun Do you have to ask
your husband for money?
Mrs. Sly No, indeed!
Mrs. Hardrun How generous of
him.
Mrs. Sly Yea; it Is awfully good of
him not to sleep in his trousers. Ohio
State Journal.
Two Scottish Newspapers.
The most influential newspaper in
Scotland is the Edinburgh Statesman,
I and the oldest is the Dundee Adver
tiser. Thev am edited resDeetivelv bv
Kir John Lenz and Charles Coooer.
both of whom are Englishmen and na
tives of Hull, Yorkshire.
Religion Losing Ground.
The country is becoming agitated over the
statement that religion is. losing ground.
Fv.hls r?.su.lt8 1" cou!'tle88dlscussl"s,.,f,,t'1
the agitation runs its course, and still re-
iigiOJ nourishes. 1 1 is only useless things
that deteriorate. The finest recommenda-
tion of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, the
s. biuiih sireiiguieiier.
lien in the
fact that it has lived for fifty years in spite
of hundreds of imitations, and is renown
ed for its cure .of dyspensia, indigestion,
biliousness, - nervousness and malaria,
fever and ague.
Queer Japanese Custom
.At the birth of a Japanes baby a
tree is planted that must remain un
touched until the marriage of the
child. When the nuptial hour arrives
the tree is cut down and the wood is
transformed into furniture.
Had Them Ready.
" Debt Collector I called to collect
those bills which Mr. Snips, the tailor,
sent you. Mr. Squills You are per
fectly welcome to them. Here they
are all in one pocket.
sTOTJ KNOW WHAT TOD ARE TAKING
When von take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic,
Decease roe lormuiais piaimy printea on eve:
bottle showing that it IS simply Iron and Or
nine in a tasteless form. No Cure. Ne Pay. 50c
Knew His Ground.'
that reporter. - Aid What!
Stop
Don't you want to have him send home
an account of your heroism? . No,
don't want to be an American hero
tor a week, and a punchlng-bag for the
rest of my life.
Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken
ui as & cougn cure. J.
cure. J. W. O'Brien, 322
Third Ave., N.
6, 1900.
Minneapolis, Minn., Jan.
Tight Across the Chest
"See here!' You are always laughing
at my expense.
"Well, that's all I can do at your ex
pense."
The Best Prescription for Malaria '
Chills and Fever is a bottle of Grove's Tasteless
Chill Tonic. It is simply iron and quinine in
a tasteless form. Mo Cure. No Pay. Price 50c.
Holding Him Guiltless.
He Have not all my actions shown
you that I love you? '
She I'm sure I don't know.' Papa
says you are not answerable for your
actions. Harper's Bafcar.
Sfapm tfro Cough nnd
Work Off tha Cold.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold in
one day. .No cure, No Pay. Price 26 cents.
.-. The Intricacies of It "
"Why didn't you study the time table
and then you would not have missed
your train?" - - . -
'' "That was the trouble. While I was
trying to traslate the time table the
train pulled out,"
Breeding and Feeding; Microbes. 1
The intestines are fnll of disease germs that
become active and dangerous in constipation
constipation.
Druggists, 10c,
iascarets Kill ana expel mem,
2oe, 50c.
Tiresome. . .
"I'm so tired," she sighed to the .wo
man next door.
"What doing?"
"I've been the last four hours at the
photographer's having an Instantane
ous picture of the baby taken."
CASTOR I A
- Pox Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears tha
Signature of
Unfamiliar.
The Squire I don't seem to know
your face, my man. Dp you live about
here?
Old Rustic Yes, sir. ' But yer see, I
ain't often at the public 'ouse! Punch.
Summer Resolutions
TAKE
THE
Keeley Cure
Sure relief som liquor, opium and tobacco
habits. Bend for particulars to
Keeley Institute.
Moved to 420 -Williams
Ave., atasc siae.
K. F. K. O.
He. 37 laox.
WHKN writing te advertisers please
mention this paper.
Thirteen Stories.
O'Hoollhan Phwat wud yez do if
yez wort fall off this rufe?
O'Harrlty Faith, O'id make up me
mind goin down Ohio State Journal.
become more deeply rooted
and intractable the longer
neglected, the skin in time
having a thick, hard, -rough
and unsightly appearance.
You can hide the blemishes:
for a time with cosmetics;
and washes, lotions, soaps
and powders may relieve
temporarily the itching and
burning, but eventually the
Dores of the skin 1mnm ui
CRITICAL PERIODS
In .Woman's Life Are Made Danger
ous by feme Catarrh.
Mrs. Mathilde Richter.
Mrs. . Mathilde Bichter, Doniphan.
Neb., says: -
I suffered from catarrh for many
years, but since L have been taking
Pe ru-na I feel strong and well. I
would advise all people to try Pe-ru-na.
As 1 used Pe-ru-na and Man-a-lin
while I was passing , through the
change of life, I am positively con
vinced your beneficial remedies have
relieved me from all my ills." .
. Pe-ru-na has raised more women
from beds of sickness and set them to
work again than any other remedy.
Pelvic catarrh is the bane of woman
kind. Pe-ru-na is the bane of catarrh
in all forms and stages. Mrs. Col.
Hamilton, Columbus, O.. says: "I
recommend Pe-ru-na to women, be
lieving it to be -especially beneficial
to them.
Send for a free book written by Dr,
Hartinan, entitled: "Health and
Beauty. " Address Dr. Hartman,
Columbus, Ohio. - ;
: If you can't say anything good of a
man you can at least have the courtesy
to sit around and hear o.ther people say
Daa things. - : .
A Good Enough Way for Him.
"I wouldn't cry like that, my little
man." Well, you can cry any way you
want to; this is my way."
He Was Spry.
- Customer (to waiter) Here, John,
take my order ox-tail soup, roast
lamb, fried sole, green peas, onions,
tomatoes', cucumber, mince pie, cheese
and coffee, and be spry about it; my
tram leaves in exactly six minutes. ...
Consolation and Comfort
Who is it that does not wish to be
out in the open air or alive in some
field of sport, whether it be with the
bat, rod or gun ; whether we go coast
ing over the hills and vales on the
wheel, or sailing over rough waves or
into serene coves, it is all sport, and
the springing muscles seem to need
it. It is bound to happen that some
mishap will occur." Thus it is that
when we have sprains in abundance
light sprains, sprains : that cripple,
sprains that give great pain, sprains
that rob us of sleep, but sportsmen of
all kinds nave come to . know that
there is nothing better than the old
reliable bt. Jacobs Oil. Have it with
you for use; you may rely on its cure
of the worst sprain and restoration to
the comforts of life. .
He Conldn't Connect
Mrs. Handout I think a little water
would do you good.
Hardened Hobbs So do I, mum. But
folks ain't giving away Amalgamated
Steel Stock, not much." ; ;
His Favorite.
"What is your favorite play?" asked
the friend. "Ordinarily," answered
Mr. Stormington Barnes, "It is Ham
let. But when I need the money
is Uncle Tom's Cabin."
Where He Failed- ,
Clarke Mr. Shiverly Is passionately
fond of art Miss Jameson Yea, and
yet not found enough of it to stop
painting.
Easy Come, Easy Go...;.
The man who creeps along " bent
over, with bis spinal column feeling
in a condition to snap like a pipestem
at any minute, would readily give a
great deal to get out- of his dilemma,
and yet this is only the commonest
form by which lumbago seizes on and
twists out of shape the muscles of the
back. This is commonfy known as
backache, a crick in the back, but by
whatever name it may be known, and
however bad it may be, 10 minutes
vigorous rubbing with St. Jacobs Oil
on the afflicted part will drive out'the
trouble and completely restore. It is
a thing so easily caught, it may : be
wondered at why there is not more of
it, but because it is so easily cured by
St. Jacobs Oil may be the very reason
that we bear so little of it.
:. . ; Bourgeoia - : .
Mrs. Bulgore But they are very
fashionable, are they not?
Mrs. Swellman Fashionable? Most
assuredly not. ; Why, they permit the
care of their children to interfere with
their social obligations.
His Favorite Dish. . " ' .
"What is" your favorite dish?" in
quired Mrs. Frontpew . of the Rev.
Longface, the new pastor. She felt
sure it was chicken, but it proved not.
"Er-the contribution plate," answered
the Rev. Longface, absently. - -
Charity and : bookbinders covers a
multitude of fault's.
: Every- man is like the company he
is wont to keep. Euripides.
Too Cruel.
"False! False!" shrieked the hero
of the 'latest dramatization in falsetto
tones. : :
"Do you- say that to -my face?"
screamed the heroine.
"I say It to your very teeth!" roared
the hero. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
,; .r T f: " "-. He Couldn't Lose.
. Jones Do you object to your boy
playing football?
' Smith No, -indeed; the policy is
made out in my favor.
Still Worse. .
She Were you out in Monday's bliz
zard? . : . -
He No. I was out in Tuesday's
. talk about Monday's blizzard.
GOOD
Short Stor!e$
Augustus Hare tells this story In his
autobiography of a friend, who, in
some ways, was one of the most absent-minded
men in the world. One
day, meeting a friend, he said: "Hello,
what a long time it is since I've seen
you! How's your father?" "Oh, my
father's dead." "God bless met I'm
very sorry." The next year he met the
same man again, and had forgotten all
about It, so began with: "Hello I what
a long time since I've seen you! How's
your father?" "Oh, my father's dead
still."
Archbishop Temple was once occu
pying a seat as an ordinary worshiper
in a country church, his - immediate
left-hand neighbor' being a country
yokel, who kept turning angry glances
toward the bishop as he then was in
evident depreciation of his lordship s
vocal efforts. ' The Bishop, however,
continued making what he describes as
a joyful noise," until at last the yokel
disgustedly closed his book, and, turn
ing to the Bishop, remarked: "I say.
guv'nor, chuck it. You're spoilin the
whole bloomln' show!"
The day following the incident to Sir
Thomas Upton's cup-challenger Sham
rock II., King Edward VII. was talk
ing to certain of his friends, when one
of them happened to remark that the
only things that escaped intact from
the disaster were the boom and the
staysail. "Was the boom all right?"
quickly asked the King. "So I under
stand, sir," was the reply. "That makes
the accident all the more extraordin
ary," remarked King Edward, reflec
tively; "for if Sir Thomas Upton's
'boom; has not suffered, how are we to
account for the 'bringing down of hlf
sales?
Julian Corbett may be said to have
established himself as an authority on
the history of the British navy. A while
ago Mr. Qprbett wrote to the admiralty
to suggest that a new first-class battle
ship then building be christened
"Drake." A formal intimation that
,hls letter had been received and should
;have due attention was followed, after
;a decent interval, by a dignified, reply
;f rom My Lords,., in which . they ex
pressed their regret at not being able
to carry out Mr. Corbett's suggestion,
and . explained that it would be con
trary to precedent to name a first-class
battleship after a bird.
When the Transvaal war was at its
height, Paul Krueger sent a commis
sioner to England to find out if there
were any more men left there. , The
commissioner wired from London to
say that there were four million men
and women "knocking about the
town," that there was no excitement,
and that men were begging to be sent
to fight the . Boers. Krueger wired
back, "Go north.": The commissioner
found himself in Newcastle eventual
ly, and wired to Krueger: "For God's
sake, stop that war! England is bring
ing up men from bell, eight at a time,
in cages!" He had seen a coal mine.
' A white minister was conducting re
ligious services in a colored church in
North Carolina recently. . After exhort
ing a bit, he asked an old colored dea
con to lead in prayer, and, according to
the Roanoke News, this is the appeal
which the brother in black offered for
his brother in white: "O, Lord, gib him
de eye ob de eagle dat he spy out sin
afar off.' Glue his hands to de gospel
plow. Tie his tongue to de line ob truth.
Nail his ear to de gospel pole. Bow his
head way down between his knees, and
his knees way down in some lonesome,
dark, and narrer valley, where prayer
is much wanted to be made. 'Noint him
wid de kerosene lie of salvashiin and
sot him on fire."
Colonel Oslo was the present King of
Italy's "governor" for very many
years, when, as Prince of Naples, his
charge was a delicate lad. Colonel
Oslo's strict regime has been very se
verely criticised, but that the King re
members him with respect, if not af
fection, is proved by his having con
ferred the hereditary title of count
upon him on the occasion of the birth
of the Princess Yolanda. One day a re
quest came from a well-known person
age for the young prince's autograph,
to be added to a collection containing
that of his grandfather and his father.
The prince was about to comply, when
the Colonel said, sharply: "Certainly
not; what value has the signature of
an insignificant boy who does not even
know how to write properly." For some
act of disobedience a little later, the
prince was brought before his "gover
nor," who exclaimed:'. "If I were the
king I would cut off your head.". "And
I will cut off yours when I am king,"
defiantly -replied the lad." His punish
ment is unrecorded, but, instead of
cutting off his tyrant's head when that
day came, he has ennobled him.
I
ROSES NOT MODERN.
Their
Peiisrree Dates 'Back for Five
Million Yeara,
Roses are none the less beautiful be
cause they are modern flowers; "mod
ern," that is, as the history of flowers
goes. If we Include among the family,
after the manner of eminent botanists,
the plums, we find a record of one of
that clan in : the middle cretaceous
Amboy clays of New Jersey. And a
hawthorn, which is certainly a rose,
has written Its signature In the upper
crataceons rocks of Greenland. Roses,
therefore, can only boast of a pedigree
which dates back some fdnr or five mil
lions of years. -.That time is short, con
sidering the aeons during which plants
have flourished on the earth; but the
stock sprung from the primeval ances
tor has succeeded mightily in the tem
perate regions of the world, for there
are at least some sixty-five genera and
the species known run: into the hun
dreds. Nevertheless, we cannot say
that the roses have ever aimed at being
a blue-blooded race. Content with the
"via media" of life, they have kept to
the pink,- red and purple. Indeed, of
that last color I know but one ambitious
plant among them. It is the purple
flowering raspberry growing in the din
gle yonder under the cliff. So you will
never get a blue rose, for man, with
all his craft, can only lead flowers up
and down Um gamut of color that na-
tore has Impressed upon them. There
was recently some talk of a blue rose
being produced, but the talk has sub
sided and no more has been heard of
the wonder. The "red, red rose" may
be modified to the richest purplish crim
son, nay, even to the depth of the dark
eat snadows on a royal crimson rose,
but a permanently blue rose is as
mythical as Dumas' "black tulip."
SECURING A LOWER BERTH.
Tricks Played by Travelers to Get the
Coveted eUeeplnsr Place.
Those who travel a good deal and are
compelled to make use of night appre
ciate the value of a lower berth in a
sleeper. All kinds of tricks are re
sorted to to secure one and the agent
must keep his eyes wide open if be
would escape several kinds of trouble.
One of Chicago's veteran passenger
men the other day told of a practice
that was common before it was de
cided not to show tbe diagrams of the
cars to purchasers.
A customer would come Into the
office," said he, "and ask to be shown
the diagrams of the various sleepers,
In looking them over he would notice
that John Smith bad a lower reserved
until 4 o'clock in tbe afternoon, as he
was not certain that he would be able
to take the train that day. After get
ting the name well fixed in his mind
the tricky customer would purchase a
ticket and go back to his office. About
2 o'clock he would send a messenger
boy to the agency with a notice that
John Smith had decided not to take
the berth he had conditionally reserv
ed, whereupon it would be turned over
to the messenger. When John Smith
called at 4 o'clock the diagram showed
that his lower berth was gone. It
would not be proper to quote all that
John Smith would say at such times.
To save ourselves from these embar
rassments and to protect our custom
ers, we recently decided to treat our
diagrams as confidential."
Teacher's Involuntary Lesson.
"The girls treated principal and
teachers with an exaggerated respect
that they most certainly showed to no
other mortal In the world," writes
Mary Louise Graham of "My Boarding
School for Girls," in the Ladies' Home
Journal. "They ". could not grasp the
idea that they could talk to me as they
would to any woman of my age at their
homes. I don't quite know that I ought
to tell what was the opening wedge,
the beginning of the new order of
things. I have never regretted it in
spite of the fact that it was rather
shocking, and that I was lame for days
afterward. We were all assembled in
the schoolroom for prayers. I sat down
inadvertently on an optical delusion of
a chair, and as I reached the floor
exclaimed- involuntarily at the top of
my lungs: 'The devil r - I wish to re
mark parenthetically that I am not In
the habit of swearing, that I think it a
most unladylike custom, and I would
advise .my girls against it if I ever
dared approach the subject. In this in
stance my swearing was probably a
case of atavism, my grandfather being
a most ungodly, old specimen of a Puri
tan. But, to return to that morning in
the schoolroom, there was a silence
which lasted about two seconds; then
one girl giggled. Well, it ended with
two cases of hysterics, and we didn't
have any prayers that morning. But
the episode proved that I was human,
and so it was the beginning of better
things.! . -
Oriental Compliments.
An amusing trait in human nature is
the mutual contempt with which na
tions regard each other. It is a trait
which can be traced back as far as his
tory extends. The Greeks called-the
outside world barbarians; the Romans
scoffed at the Greeks and the Egyptians
regarded other people as no better than
slaves.
In our days the contempt we exhibit
for Oriental nations is mild compared
with their contempt for us. The Turks
are but little behind the Chinese in this
respect, their ordinary designation of a
Christian being a "dog.".
When the first Dutch ambassador was
sent to the Porte, be visited the Sultan,
'What does the dog want?" asked the
Sultan. .
This was translated in "a speech full
of ornate Oriental compliments, and the
ambassador replied in the same strain.
"Let the dog feed," answered the
Sultan; "and when the dog Is fed, kick
the dog out." - .
The Ambassador was delighted with
the Sultan's compliments. The Sultan
felt that he had held his own and the
treaty was signed next day. ;
- .Why?
t. An anecdote Is told of an Englishman,
traveling through the interior of Cali
fornia in company with a resident of
this State, that is characteristic of the
racial difference in mental processes.
The Englishman was deeply interested
in everything he saw, and asked many
questions. Espying a bush with bright
red leaves by the roadside, he inquired
what it was. '
"Poison oak," was the brief reply.
"Bless me," said the Englishman,
"but is it really poisonous?"
"Well, a man had better not wallow
in it," replied the Calif omian. ; The En
glishman was silent for an unusual
length ; of time, evidently in deep
thought Then he broke out: -
- "But, I say, you know, why should
man want to wallow in it?" . :
Tbe Languages of Switzerland,
The recent consensus of Switzerland
shows that German is spoken by 2,319,
105 persons, French by 733,220, Italian
by 292,247. Romanshe, a dialect of
Latin, is spoken by 38,677 persons by
about twelve persons in a thousand.
therefore. French is spoken by SbO per
sons, Italian by 67 persons, German by
697 persons in a thousand.
Workmen's Insurance in Germany,
The system of workmen's Insurance
in Germany is a huge piece of state
machinery. The magnitude of the sys
tem may be estimated by the fact that
it pays out, in one way or another.
about $250,000 a day.
Railway traveling in Great Britain is
the safest in the world. In America, one
pasenger in every 2,400,000 is killed; in
France, one in every 19,000,000; and in
Great Britain, only one in every 28,
000,000. .- '
Ambition never has time to take I
day off.
Royal Abstainer.
The Queen of Holland, it is stated,
la a total abstainer, and ostentatiously
refuses, on all public occasions, to par
take of wine. The Queen is a patron
of the Total Abstinence Society and
of the Women's Social Purity League,
and it is said is among the most active
of workers. -
Wanted Rusty Shoes.
One of Mame's little friends had a
pair of russet shoes, and she thought
it would be nice for her to have a pair
of that kind. So when- she and her
mother went to the shoe store, and the
clerk brought out some black ones, she
said: "That is not the kind I want,
mamma; I want a pair of rusty ones."
Trouble Either Way.
Mrs. De Good Why aren't you going
to church?
Mr. De Good Last Sunday the roof
leaked, and three or four drops went
down my back.
Mrs. De Good The roof has been re
paired since then.
Mr. De Good Huh! Then they'll be
wanting money to pay for the repairs.
New York Weekly.
A Great JWan.
I count him a great man who inhab
its a higher sphere of thought, into
which other men rise with labor and
difficulty. He has but to open his eyes
to see things in a true light and in
large relations while they must make ,
painful corrections and keep a vigilant
eye on many sources of error.
He is a great man who is what he is
from nature and who never reminds
us of others. Emerson,
Too Smart .
"Huh!" exclaimed Mr. Rox after
reading his morning mail. "Our boy's
college education is making him too
blamed smart."
What's the matter?" asked Mrs.
Rox.
I worte to him the other day that I
thought it would be kinder for me not
to remit the check he asked for. Now
he writes, 'Dear Father, I Bhall never
forget your unremitting kindness.' "
Philadelphia Press.
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
'"""'firnSansMawwiiiii ,1"! ,wimaMtMBIysy
Bet possibla to build. Beat material. Beat oro-
pbrtion. Beat finish. - Lightest running. Seventy
rears' eznerlenoe. MlTOHKI,l Lh1i a
STAVKit Co., 1st ana Taylor Su., Portland, Or
Wholesale Boots A Shoes
KRAUSSE & PRINCE,
87 and 89 First Street, Portland, Oregon.
1 " Telephone, Oak 1391. '.
All Kinds Carried in Stock.
Nothing so good for chickens as the
PRUSSIAN POULTRY FOOD
ft makes Hens Lay and Keeps them Laying. It cures Roup, Cholera and All
Diseases, it strengthens young chicks, and maxes them grow. Price 25c and 50c.
- My young; chickens commenced dyinff, and after losing four dozen I pnr
ehased a packas ot your PRUSSIAN PO0XTRT FOOD, whlcn stopped them
from dying- and 1 have constantly kept it oa hand erer since. 1 can recommend
It as just what Is needed Is raisins poultry. a B. BIOOIK, Latah, Wash.
From Bad to Worse.
Brown Do" those dogs up your way
still continue to howl-all night?
Jonese No: the dogs have given up
in disgust since our twins arrived on
the scene.
THE TRAINED NURSE
An Occupation Which Attracts
- Many Refined Girls.
Many girls of education and refine
ment are turning to the profession of
trained nurse as a means of liveli
hood. It is a serious occupatiion
and a responsible one, tor tbe word
of an experienced nurse carries
great weight in matters relating to
her profession. It is this fact that
prompted n interesting interview
with Miss Kathryn Nash, of North
and Plattsburg avenues, Burlington,
Vt., published in the News of that
city. To a reporter she said:
"I had been caring for a patient
steadily for nine months without
rest and was run down and tired.
I had very little appetite and some
times I would skip one or two meals
and not feel it at all. While visit
ing in Boston an abcess formed back
of my ear. I had no strength, and
although I was always drowsy sleep
did not seem to refresh me. After
I came home I had seven abcesses on
my back near the waist line and was
unable to sit up much for three or
four months. The doctors who
treated me said I had blood-poisoning
from which I would never recover." .
"That must have been very dis
couraging," said the reporter.
"It was. It took all the ambition
out of me for awhile. But one day,
when I was feeling particularly des
pondent, a friend advised me to try
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale
People. She was taking them with
benefit and thought they might also
help me. 1 bought some at once and
before I had used one box of the pills
I found I was gaining strength. My
appetite and digestion improved and
I felt rested after sleeping, instead of
being tired as I was formerly. -1 soon
became entirely well and able to re
sume my duties."
"Then you believe the Pink Pills
cured you?" - - -
-. VI am certain they did, and I in
tend to keep Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
for Pale People by me all the time,
so that I can take them if needed. I
recommend them to my patients as
well as to every one who is suffering
from any complaint brought on by
derangement of the blood or nerves."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pilhffor Pale
People are . sold by all dealers or
will be sent postpaid on receipt of
price, 50 cents, a box; six boxes,
2.50, by addressing Dr. Williams
Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. .
Mas. Fram Caktbb, ' -
X Herrlil Street, Ameiburr, Mass.
lht lottar should carry Fatth
mndOonviotlon to thoHotwta
of mil Slok Women
" I suffered with Inflammation and
falling' of ther womb and other dis
agreeable female weaknesses. I had
bad spells every two weeks that would .
last from eight to ten days and would
have to go to bed. I also had head
ache and backache most of the time
and such bearing down pains I could
S all "the" tl me tor
abut twcTyears and seemed to grow
imT1i iu 8r,tmber
hardly walk across the room at tunes.
T HiTOa to take mv bed. and the
doctors thouo-ht an operation was the
only thing that would help me, but
this I refused to have done.
"Then a friend advised me to try the
Pinkham medicine, which I did, and
after using the first bottle I began to
improve. I took in all five bottles of
Lydia E. Pinkham's Blood Purifier,
lour boxes of Lydia E. Pinkham's Dry
Form Compound, three boxes of Liver
PUls and used three packages of Sana
tive Wash, and I am as well now as I
ever was. I am more than thankful
every day for my cure." Mrs. Frank
Carter, 3 Merrill St., Amesbury, Mass.
i , ijrJlaC Pinkham KatSiclnm t
Ensilage
Cutter.
Best and only
perfect blower cut
ler on the market.
Send for circular.
Mitchell, Lewis fc
Staver Co.
Portland, Ore.
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
root of Morrison Street,
Can give yon the best bargains in
Buggies. Flows, hollers and Engines,
Windmills ami Pnmp? and General
Machinery. See ns before buying
Catalogue Furnished
Upon Application.
JB. J. BO WEN, Coast Agent, Portland, Oregon
All She Took.
Gowanus I had $2 in my pocket last
night, but this morning there is only a
penny or two. Did you need some
money for .a spring shirt waist and
take it, Arabela?
Mrs. Gowanus (astonished) Yes,
but I only took $1.98!
REPAIRING FENCES.
By Using "Anchor Clamps" You Can Make
Your Fences as Good as New.
Every time a man goes out in the
morning and looks around his place
he thinks of his fences. .Are they in
good condition? Are . they what is
needed? Will they last? These
questions he asks himself, and . many
times he finds himself in sore straits
as to what to do to provide himself
with economical and durable fences.
The matter of fences is the largest
and most important item of necessary
expense to the landholder.
There are thousands of miles of
old barbed wire fence in the north
west. The wire is fairly good in
them half as good as if it were new.
And yet because ' the wires have
sagged and some of them have become
loosened from the posts, the fence is
nearly worthless. It is when the
wires are loose and wabbly in a barbed
wire fence that damage is done .to
stock. ;
Have you ever noticed a , fence in
that condition?
A few upright stays and some
"Anchor Clamps" will repair an old
barbed wire or smooth wire fence and
make, it as good as new. It makes
the fence as rigid and firm as when
new and will make it last for years.
Now is the -time to save money.
Wire is high, excessively high, and
an entirely new fence is an expensive
affair if you get the best. The best
is one composed of all large and
strong wires which cost more at first
but will last forever. You can get
along without buying a new fence for
awhile by repairing thVoId one. The
"Anchor Clamp" is the only positive
fence lock on the market- It pre
vents sagging ; it prevents loose wires ;
it can be used on any kind of wire; it
is simple, can be applied by any one,
and it is cheap. It will pay you to
send for free sample and full informa
tion to the Portland Anchor Fence
Co., 742 Nicolai St.," Portland, Oie.
Trouble.-""'
Trouble would be a great deal easier
to bear if those you dislike were not
having the best time of their lives, just
when you are going through it Atchi
son Globe. ;
CiikrS MHtHf lit KSf Fill s
1 A Bast Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. TJai
sAmt,