Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, August 23, 1901, Image 4

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They were old friends, bat they hadn't
In many, many years;
And the tide of life had hurried on,
With its joys and hopes and fears;
But both the women had met at last
Old playmates once again;
They talked of girlhood's dreams, now
Its buoyant hopes, now slain.
"Ah, Kate," said Madge, "you're not the
You're lost your charm of face
You've lost your pretty, rosy cheeks
You've lost your form of grace.
Your chestnut hair has turned to gray.
Your lips have lost their red;
All things are changed and soon our day
Will turn to night instead.
"Dear one," Kate said, "I've nothing
For here's my hair of brown
On Prue's dear head my eldest born
And Bess has not a frown
On her sweet face, that's just like mine
Of thirty years agone
While Kittie's blue eyes dance and shine
Like sunlight in the morn.
"Mine shone in just the self-same way
When you, dear, saw me last,
And Margaret's lips are just as red
As mine in days long past,
No, no, my dear, I've nothing lost,
My life is on the wane;
My children have my own youth cost
In them I live again!"
OWN the lane leading to John
I Delane's farmhouse, one beauti
ful June evening many years
ago, could be seen a steady stream of
vehicles of all descriptions. Every
farmer for miles around had been la-
vlted to the wedding' of Mary Delane,
and to-night the auspicious event was
to take place. Preparations had been
made on a grand scale; John Delane
had determined to make this, the wed
ding of his only child, a memorable
The match between Mary Delane and
Shaun Brady had been brought about
and perfected by Put Mulcahy, a re
nowned matchmaker. Mary was an
exceptionally pretty girl, and as good as
she was pretty. Shaun Brady was
twice her age, possessing an unenvia
ble name and many enemies; but, as
John Delane remarked, "a moneyed
man has many jealous friends," and
money Shaun had in plenty, that cov
ered all deficiencies, moral and physl
cal. In John Delane's eyes.
Mary Delane had no love for Shaun
Brady, she well knew that her life
would be in many ways a hard one, but
she had been badgered by her father
until she had said yes with a heavy
heart "
The bridegroom and priest had not
yet arrived, but the dancing began,
Tom Harty. the fiddler, playing "The
Wind That Shook the Barley" In fin
ished style. Mary did not participate.
reserving her first dance for her future
husband. She received the guests as
they came, standing proudly beside her
father, her face white as marble.
Her thoughts were wandering far
and wide when a voice aroused her
and sent the blood to her cheeks.
"God save all here!"
"God save you kindly, Dan," she
heard the company respond in unison.
and then Dan Beardon was shaking the
hand which she mechanically out
stretched. v
In a moment he had gone, mingling
among the guests.
"More power to ye," he said to the
fiddler, as that worthy man finished.
"An shure," answered Tom, "It's hav;
lng the lolkes of a fine bouchal like
"yerself beside me that gives me the
. power."
Dan joined in the general laugh.
"It's about time the groom and his
riverence were here," said ; Mary's
"Oh, they'll be here directly now,"
said John Delane. "Shure she'll be
taken from me soon enough."
Dan Beardon sat by the porch door,
gazing abstratctedly into the darkness
outside; Mary watched him from her
place beside her father, and as that
good man arose In answer to a ser
vant's call, she slipped quietly over to
where Dan was.
"A penny for your, thoughts, Dan,"
said she.
"They're priceless, miss," said he,
"for I was just thinking of the wan I
love best In this dreary, bitter world.1
"Indade!" said Mary. "An" shure It's
a nice girl she must be, to win your
love." .
She said this lightly, though her heart
was heavy.
"She Is the sweetest woman that ever
put a foot on the ground." :
"An' I suppose she returns your love,
Dan?" she asked. Interrogatively.
"Oh, no, no, miss! Shure it's little
she knows of the love I have for her.
and In wan way I'm glad. It's lmpldent
she'd think me, widout a pinny to me
. name, to have serious thoughts about
"If I'm not too bold, Dan, I'll be after
axln' you who she is, an' Its anxious I
. am to know."
bui mis question seemed to cause
Dan the greatest- confusion, and,
strange to say, when Mary looked at
- him and their eyes met, she also grew
"Och, shure, Miss Mary," he stam
mered, "you'd be the last one I'd tell.
Don't ax me no more, shure It's only
folly on my side. : .
-weii, men, uan, you can tell me
whether she Is dark or fair."
-1 "Well, I'll say this much, miss, that
to me she s the fairest girl In Kerry.
"Give me her Initials, thin," coaxed
Mary, "an' maybe I can guess." :
, "Arrah, now, don't say no more about
"But you must tell me," she insisted.
' "I'll not let you alone till you do."
"Well, thin, since you're so detar
mined, I'll take the consequences an'
tell you; her name is" here he waited
. for a moment "Mary Delane."
Mary, blushed like a wild rose, and
stammered: ... ..: :-':-y.;.r
; "Oh, Dan, shure you can't mane me?"
Dan looked her full in the face as he
said, quietly:
"It's you, 1 mane, Mary; but don't be
angry; shure I thought I'd cut my
tongue out before I'd tell too, but yon
drove me to it Oh dear, on dear, an'
on your weddln' night, too! Don't mind
me, miss; I'll not trouble you In an;
way again, but call God's blessings
down on you this night, an' my con
stant prayer will be for your happi
ness." 'An' do you think I could be bappy
with Shaun Brady?" asked Mary, with
an upward glance.
"Well, I hope you'll be," he answered
'An' what's the good hoping any such
thing, when you know, well as I do,
that happiness and I will part forever
when I marry Shaun? I have been
forced into It, an' shall try to do my
duty; it's too late now to turn back."
Dan looked up, with determination In
every line of his fine face.
'No, Mary," he said, "It Is not too
late. If you care for me, or think that
in time you could give me your precious
love, I say again that It's not too late.
'Oh, Dan, shure you forget that I'm
to be married this night His riverence
and Shaun are expected any minute."
'I'm not forgettln' the fact, and it's
a short time you have to decide. We'll
run away, an' go straight to Father
Duffy's an' be married, an' wid you at
my side to give me courage I'll work
my fingers off to give you comfort."
Then Mary, with love-Ut eyes (oh, so
different from the downcast Mary of
an hour ago) and blushing cheeks, con
sented. 'I'll go wid you, Dan. My heart you
possess, an you might as well have
me wid 't Go round to my bedroom
window; I'll drop my mantle out, an'
you must wait by the old fort. I'll fol
low as soon as I can without raising
Two weeks from that memorable
night the runaways returned, and were
welcomed heartily to the village. Mary
resolved to ask her father's forgive
ness; she loved him dearly, and her
conscience troubled her. She insisted
on Dan's accompanying her. The old
man grew white with anger when he
saw the. culprits before him.
"Away wid ye! You beggar you
thief of the night you come here and
stand forninst me, wid brazen impi
dence, after stealin' the apple of my
eye, my only child! Away wid ye!"
All right, sir," said Dan, his head
thrown back, "we'll go. Gome on,
acushla! but I'd have you know, sir,
that I'm no beggar; I'm well able to
make a livin' for my wife, an' I'll do it
wid God's help." .
The old housekeeper came Into the
parlor a short time after, and was much
surprised to see Mary sitting close be
side her father. Dap la the best chair
the house afforded, and all three as
contented as they could be.
Shure it Isn't an hour ago," she told
the dairy maid, "since John Delane
said, wid his own lips, 'I'd not forgive
thim, Mrs. McCarthy, not if they wlnt
down on their blnded knees!' An' now
look at 'em!" Chicago Times-Herald.
How They Began.
"None shall wear a feather but he
who has killed a Turk," was an old
Hungarian saying, and the number of
feathers in his eap Indicated how many
Turks the man-had killed. Hence the
origin of the saying with reference to
a feather In one's cap. '
It was once customary in France,
when a guest had outstayed his wel
come, for the host to serve a cold shoul
der of mutton instead of a hot roast
This was the origin of the phrase, "To
give the cold shoulder." ' ; v
In one of the battles between the
Bussians and Tartars a private soldier
of the former called out: "Captain,
I've caught a Tartar!" ."Bring him
along, then!" answered the officer..
can't, for he won't let me!" was the re
sponse. Upon Investigation it was ap
parent that the captured had the cap
tor by the arm, and would not release
him. So "catching a Tartar" Is applic
able to one who has found an antagon
ist too powerful for him.
Deadhead," as denoting one who has
free entrance to places of amusement,
comes from Pompeii, where the checks
for free admission were small ivory
death's heads. Specimens of these ara
In the museum at Naples. .
That far from elegant expression "to
kicked the bucket" Is believed to have
originated In the time of Queen Eliza
beth, when a shoemaker named Hawk
ins committed suicide by placing a
bucket on a table In order to raise him
self high enough to reach a rafter
above, with a rope about-his neck, then
kicking away the bucket on which he
stood. ' ..-..'.-. -
-' ' Slang.' "'
Again there has arisen a discussion
as to the use of slang. There are times
when thoughts arise within the human
brain which are almost beyond the ut-
terance of the human tongue.'' By the
aid of a slang term the man who has
the gift of speech can get them out For,
be it observed, there is slang and slang,
and It may be used with artistry or
with mere stupidity. The special ex
ample chosen by Oliver Wendell
Holmes for an Illustration In his disser
tation- on the expressiveness of slang
was the , word "bore;" but this has
found a place In Webster, and must
surely be regarded as legitimate. How
could you express your objection to the
man who bores you except by saying
that he bores you? ;. There are a hun
dred other words which are valuable
In such emergencies, and one can only
hope that, by a process of the survival
of the fittest, the best of them will find
their way Into the dictionaries. ; -
Conflicting Wishes.; . ,
While going his rounds, the foreman
of a factory lost a cuff link. After some
time bad elapsed and the cuff link had
not turned up, he caused the following
notice to be put up in a conspicuous
position in the workshop: "Mr. L ,
having lost a gold cuff link, would be
very glad If the finder would return it
as soon as possible to the owner." Im
agine his feelings when a few hours
later on passing the notice he found the
following appended:'- ."The. finder of
the above cuff link would be very much
obliged If Mr. L :- would lose the
other one." .
Depopulation of France. '
The French census shows that - the
population of France has decreased by
12,883 In five years.
A watch may be cleaned by soaking
it In a cup of kerosene but that Is not
the way a watch is usally soaked.
Professor Fryer, of the UnlTeritr of
California, Is Responsible for Tnla
1 lie Evidence la Documentary An
cient Record BtlU Preserved in China.
Prof. Fryer of the University of Cal
ifornia brings to light new evidence
tending to prove that' Buddhist priests
discovered America 1,000 years before
the sailing of Columbus. "The evidence
is both documentary and substantial,"
gays Harper's Monthly.
Of the evidence of early Chinese doc
uments, Prof. Fryer says:
"The narrative states that there was
a' Buddhist priest named Hul Shen,
originally a native of Cabul, who, in
the year 41)9 A. D., during the reign of
the Emperor Yung Yuan, came from
the country of Fusang to Kingchow, i
the capital of the dynasty of Tsi, situ
ated on the Itlver Yang-tse. The coun-
' try being in a state of revolution, it
was not till the year 502 that he had
an opportunity of going to the court of
the Emperor Wu Ti, of the new Liang
. dynasty. He gave presents to the Em
peror of curious articles brought from
Fusang, among which was a material
looking like silk, but the threads of
which could support a great weight
without breaking. This was evidently
the fiber of the Mexican agave. He
also presented a mirror of a foot In
diameter, possessing wonderful proper-
j ties, and resembling those in 'use in
i Mexico and other localities in America
at that time. The Emperor treated him
J as an envoy from Fusang, and deputed
; uuc kil iuB Luur principal xeuaai loras,
named Yu Kie, to interrogate him re
specting the country, and to take down
his story in writings This was accord
ingly done, and we have what is un
doubtedly the original text with only
perhaps here and there a typographical
error which can be easily explained.
Among other things, Hul Shen said
that the people of Fusang were former
ly in ignorance of the doctrines of
Buddha, but during the reign of the
Chinese Emperor Ta Ming, of the Sung
dynasty, or A. D. 458, there were five
blkshus, or Buddhist monks from
Cabul, who traveled there and promul
gated the knowledge of the doctrines,
books and images of Buddhism. Their
labors were successful, so that they or
dained monks from among the natives,
and .thus the customs and manners of
the people were soon reformed. He
gave particulars of the journey through
tne Aleutian Islands and Alaska, with
the length of the route -and a descrip
tion of the inhabitants. He described
the country of Fusang as 20,000 1L or
8,500 miles, to the east of Kamschatka.
and also due easif from China. It grows
great numbers of fusang trees, which,
when they first appear above ground.
are like bamboo shoots, and the people
eat them. Threads are spun from the
skin of the plant, which are woven Into
cloth from which clothing Is made, or
else it Is made Into embroidery. They
aiso use the fibrous material or the
fusang for making paper. : These, and
many 'other features seem to point un
mistakably to the Mexican agave. Bed
pears are mentioned,- which agree In
description with the fruit of the prickly
pear, -while grapes are represented as
plentiful. There is plenty of copper,
but no Iron; and no money value is put
on gold or silver. .-. Their markets are
free and there are no fixed prices.
- The manners and customs of the
people, their forms . of government,
their marriage and funeral ceremonies,
their food and clothing, the method of
constructing their houses, the absence
of soldiers and military weapons, cities
and fortresses, are . all .particularly
noted, and agree with what is found In
no country bordering on the Pacific,
except on the continent of America In
general, and in Mexico in particular.
To suppose that Hul Shen could have
invented all these statements, and that
his story can be satisfactorily explain
ed upon any other theory than that he
had actually made the journey which
he so truthfully and soberly describes
Is, to say the least of it, absurd."
She Ariaea Early to Attend to Religion
- - and Household Duties. -
-The life lived by the Filipinos is not
an Intricate life, says Ramon BevesLala
In the Ledger Monthly, nor is Philip
pine etiquette the highly Involved sys
tem that is found in the old and artifi
cial society of western lands. I do not
know that I can better describe It than
-by following a society young lady of
Manila through the ordinary events of
'one day's existence. It may Interest
i American women to know how their
sisters beyond the seas pass their lives.
The day of the fair Filipino Is a long
one.- With her there is no lazy rising
to a 9 o'clock coffee and toast. She is
usually up with the sun, not later than
6, and, if very religious, as early as 4,
that she may attend early mass. Break
fast is set early, about 6 o'clock. -Then
come the morning duties of the house
hold, Bewing, washing, . cooking, or
whatever there may be, for our young
lady Is not expected to spend her days
In Idleness. ' The midday meal Is taken
at 12 o'clock, in order that the warmest
hours of the day may be the hours of
rest About two hours are thus spent
in the enjoyment of the siesta, when
our. lady - fair arises, refreshed and
ready for the later pleasures of the
day. 1 -
At 4 o'clock the "afternoon tea" Is
served. This is a light repast, usually
consisting of chocolate, with rice and
cakes, or other simple viands. Then,
at the hour of 5:30 or 6 o'clock, the car
riage is bronght out and the daily ride
taken to the Luneta, the beautiful park
on the bay south of the city. Here the
military band discourses sweet music
every evening, and the beauty and
fashion of Manila meet and enjoy the
evening air and melodious strains. Re
turning from the drive about 7 o'clock,
the evening meal, or supper, comes next
in : order, after which our belle of Ma
nila Is free for any mode of spending
the evening hours that may appeal to
her; perhaps a friendly visit, a trip to
the theater or opera, or an "at home'
to receive callers. -Early as she arose
bedtime often comes late, and no hours
more than nature demands are spent In
the enjoyment of slumber.. Going to
i rest however, is different there and
lit Ifff
The name of Miss Hattie H. Beals of
nounced in the drawing for homesteads
she was thereby entitled to the second
worth $40,000. Miss Beals is 23 years
exchange at Wichita. She already has
but would-be suitors will get nothing
engaged to be married to Ernest Dill, a
When she was informed of her good luck
ton and asked whether she could be married to Dill and retain her land. When
told that she could not until she had proven up her claim she decided to let the
marriage wait and will settle down on the land with her mother. She filed her
name for the drawing while on a visit to Oklahoma..
here. - Ladies, even of the highest social
rank, do not sleep In a bedstead, but
prefer the floor, lying on a petate, or
mat, which Is provided with a long
bolster or pillow, and covered with the
conventional mosquito netting.
The Great Central Figure In the Bis;
Steel Strike.
J. Plerpont Morgan, the great central
figure of the steel strike, received his
early education In finance in London
and through an Intimate connection
with the famous Peabody - banking
house. He made acquaintances and
friends at that time since of powerful
Influence for him. He - was born
wealthy, and when he succeeded to his
father's estate he bad an Intimate al
liance with the Drexels of Philadelphia
which added to the strength and fame
of his own name. He is popularly sup
posed to control more invested capital
and more free money than any living
man," not excepting the Rothschilds.
The railroad Interests which are now
in his care .represent nearly $1,000,000,-
000 in capital. "Mr. Morgan is a big
man physically, very chummy with in
timates, but reserved before the world.
He ls passionately fond of yachting,
rare books and rarer paintings. ;
Feople. Have Grown Careless in "1 heir
' Rhetoric Some Familiar Errors.
The books of rhetoric used to tell us
that the great qualities of style were
perspicuity,- energy and elegance, or
clearness, force and grace, and that as
a means toward these and for other rea
sons It was Important to be concise, to
avoid needless words. ; Whether they
no longer teach thus, or their pupils dis
regard their r Instructions, - you can
scarcely read a page or a column any
where without meeting words that add
nothing to others with which they are
immediately connected. Thus: -:
Thought to himself. How else should
he think? - If he thought aloud you
would have to say so. Either he "said
to himself which is another way of
putting It or he simply "thought."
Nodded his head. - If he had nodded
his legs or his elbows the case would
be more notable. He might properly
"shake his head," for he could shake
other things; but in the present state
of language one can nod no other part
of himself or of creation than his head.
Together with. If John went to town
with his wife they went together; if
- -
King Edward's latest motor car is one of the finest vehicles of its kind yet
built Unlike most motor cars, It is remarkable for the neatness and elegance of
its appearance, and, though substantially built, it is comparatively light.' Itjis
S sort of motor phaeton, having seating accommodation for half a dozen persona,
one beside the driver on the front seat a couple on the middle seat and a box for
two footmen at the back. , This Is not bjr any means the first motor car the King
has had made for him; for, like the King of the Belgians, his majesty takes a
keen Interest in horseless carriages, anl has had two built for him previously.
This latest motor car, however, will mark something of a new departure, for
the King intends to take regular rides In it in Hyde Park. London Daily Ex-pss-
, -
Wichita, Kan., - was the second an
in the Lawton district of Oklahoma, and
best claim in the district estimated to be
old and is an operator in the telephone
received a number of marriage proposals,
but disappointment for Miss Beals' is
street car conductor of Kansas City.
in the drawing she wired to Washing
they went together he was necessarily
with her.
Month of May, summer season, etc.
Everybody knows that May is a month
and summer a season.
Bose up. If people were In the habit
of rising down, or If It were possible
to do so, this would not be tautologi
cal. .v .
It will not do to say that these spec
imens abound in the best writers, and
are therefore justifiable. They are not
the best writers when they write in
this way, through pure carelessness, for
they know better. Homer sometimes
nods, but his nodding did not produce
the "Iliad." We want to follow the best
writers in their excellencies, not in
their errors Frederick M. Bird In Lit
erary Era.
Being; the Narration of a Wonderful
Tale of Golf and a Hawk. -
I should like to narrate the follow
ing which Is mostly true. . Some years
ago, I was playing in a match in India,
Bangalore vs. Madras, when a hawk
suddenly - swooped down on my ball
and carried it off in its claws. I ao-
pealed to my adversary to allow me to
drop another ball, but he was one of
our canny brethren, and replied: "Eh;
no, man; lost ball, lost hole." This did
not admit of argument Some weeks af
terward I went for a walk before
breakfast and climbing a rocky emin
ence to see the view, I came across a
hawk's nest and by it a dead hawk,
and. in the nest my golf ball; both the
hawk and the ball were quite warm.
I sent the hawk to the curator of the
museum, and asked for a post mortem;
his verdict was "a broken heart," and
on my . telling him the story he had no
doubt that the poor bird had expired in
Its vain effort to hatch out my "silver
town." London Globe. -, '
':- . Rarely Attractive.
; Conscription claims a large share of
the adult population of Portugal, and
the women do a good deal of field work.
This they legin at a very early age,
and do It well and happily, doubling
the actual work power of the country;
and they show great happiness and con
tent amidst it all.- Fond of show and
ordanment, they have a better-appar
ent stamina than the corresponding
classes in . fecanciinavla, or even in
Switzerland. They "feed" better than
in those countries; at a small farm
house you may get neither white bread
nor ham, but the split codfish, as In
Iceland, is never wanting, and Is well
dressed-up at short notice. It is Impos
sible to travel in Portugal without hav
ing' this national dish thrust upon you;
it needs an acquired taste, and is rarely
attractive to the ordinary palate till
after fuller acquaintance, and the "ex
cellent sauce of hunger to go with It
- Tall Men in the Scots Guards. -
There are ninety men In the Scots
guards averaging 6 feet 2& Inches In
height. Not one is under 6 feet and
twelve are 6 feet 4 Inches. - -
We don't know what is meant by ar
tistic temperament unless It means
that the girl having it picks out a-
switch that matches her hair. -
Pleasant Incidenta Occurring; the
World Over-Sayinga that Are Cheer
ful to Old or loBag-Fsnoj Selec
tion that Everybody Will Enjoy.
Nell May Brassey's awful mad. She
sent an anoymous letter to the society
editor announcing that Miss May Bras-
Bey is one of the prettiest young women
in the uptown set
Belle And didn't he publish It?
"Yes; but he headed It: 'Miss Bras-
ey says.' "Philadelphia Record.
Visitor Why, Mrs. Foxy, do you put
peas under your rug?
Mrs. Foxy To keep young men from
making declarations of love to my
daughter! Meggendorfer Blaetter.
In Tina an1 Stale. .
"Say, I thought you said they always
give fresh vegetables at that farm. I've
got my family there now, and we're
all disgusted."
"You surprise me. Perhaps they pro
Vide the best they can."
"Not much. They don't even provide
the best the canners can." Philadel
phia Press.
Putting; It Riant..
"I didn't get home till dawn yester
day morning."
"What did your wife say?"
"That's the wrong way to put it
What didn't she say?"
Farmer Pull up, you fool! The
Motorist So's the car! Punch.
- Lukewarm Weather.
"Pop, this is awfuly hot weather.
ain't it?" quoth Georgie, the 6-year-old
family joy. ' "How do you like your
In summer I imagine I like it cold;
In winter I believe I like It hot How
Is it with you?"
'Oh, I like mine.lukewacm.."-New
York Press.
Past and Future.
The secret of happiness is to live in
the present."
'That's so; but" my wife is always
wanting money for - to-morrow, and
bill collectors, you know, won't let you
forget yesterday."
. One Little Detail.
"Are all the arrangements for your
marriage with the count complete?"
"Practically.. All that remains is for
him to give papa a statement of his lia
bilities." Life.
A Dead Tramp.
Mrs." Youngwed (crying) Oh, Frank!
Boo-hoo! Don't you know a "big tramp
ate one of the pies I baked this morn
ing! Boo-hoo!
Mr. - Youngwed Oh, . well, dear,
there's lots -of other tramps. Besides,
the police won't blame you for It.
No Chance to Resist.
"A picture peddler caught me yester
day.". .
.-."Well, you are getting feeble-mind
ed." ..
"He was peddling snow scenes."
- A Mean War. Men Have.
Mrs. Why te Men have- very
Mrs. Browne Yes, but It doesn't do
to tell them so. If you do they are apt
to make sarcastic references to the time
when they got married. Somerville
Journal. .
." Propagators.
"Mosquitoes are accused of propa
gating disease," said Spykes.
"Well, I know that they propagate
profanity," said Spokes.
Uidins H1m Om j
The summer girl and the summer
young man bad exhausted all other
subjects of conversation, when they
turned to the crops.
"I guess the corn fields of the West
are In a bad way on account of the
dry spell," said he.
"Yes, that seems to be the case," she
assented, coyly; "but I don't think the .
pop corn crop will be Injured."
After that what could he do but pop?
Pittsburg Commercial-Gazette.
Facta in the Case.
" "Madam," said the poor but honest
iceman, "you do me a great Injustice
when you say my bill Is more than it
should be. To tell you the truth, I am
actually selling Ice at a loss this sum
mer." "Oh, I can readily believe that" re
plied the Indignant female. "The 10
pound cakes you cut for me show a loss
of fully three pounds each by the time
you get them In the refrigerator."
Aa Others Fee Ua. -
Miles I have my doubts about that
assertion of yours.
Giles Well, you certainly have plen
ty of room for doubt
Miles How's that?
Giles There Is plenty of vacant
space under your hat
"Which would you rather. Tommy,
be born lucky or rich? asked Uncle
"Both," replied Tommy se'ntentiously..
"I argued and argued with young
NIbbs to have more self-esteem."
"Was he Influenced by your efforts?"
"He's got so much now that I can't
stay around where he Is." .
Cause of Her Cold.
"Poor Emersonia has a very severe
cold," said Mrs. Backbay to Mrs. Bost
ing. "Yes, the poor child took, off her
heavy-weight spectacles and put on her
summer eyeglasses too soon," replied
the latter.
Polly Pinktights The leading lady is
HI . - -
Fanny Footlights Critically?
Polly Pinktights I , suppose so.
Didn't you see the way all the papers
roasted her this morning? Philadel
phia Record.
mare's bolting!
Fault of Our Language.
Myer Bifkins writes me that he .sus: '"'
tained a broken leg in a railway acci-
dent one day last week."
Gyer Well, that is certainly consid
erate on the part of Bifkins. f
Myer How's that? ". - . -.
Gyer The. leg helped to sustain him ';
before it was .broken, therefore, it is ;
no more than right that he should sus
tain it now. .... . , ,. ' ,
- A Precipitate Verdic. -."Pa,
what is a philosopher?" - " ' '
"A philosopher, -Jimmie,-is - a mail
V who .thinks he ' bas; got through being '
a fool." i ... - ; .. .
. Couldn't Be Sacrifice I.
Easterner Why don't you build your
courthouse over there? : .. . . i-. -
v esteruer w ny,; 11 we am we d have
to cut that tree down. . ... .
'Well, what of it?" . ,
'What of it? -Man alive, that's the
only, tree in this neighborhood fit to
lynch a man on!"-Phiiadelphia Rec
ord. . . . ' '
: . Only Obstacle. - ' . ...
"Here's a woman." Raid th irWow
cjuiLuir, wuu tu5ti.; , ouuuiu a married
woman in writing a letter sign herself
Mrs. John Smith?" " : Certainly," re
plied the Snake- -Editor, i "unless her;
name happened , to - be 'Mrs. Wlllla m
Jones.'" Philadelphia Record.
a rricn uy a (itnatr.
naroio. 8 neaais a great deal use Ma
father's. c: - ...
Uncle Bill Yep. Nothing on the out
side and not much on the Inside. Balti
more American.
Water Keeps Men Alive.' '
It is no secret to medical men and
physiologists that there Is a great deal
of nourishment In water. Even , that
which Is sterilized contains enough of
solids to keep a human being from
death for a long time, .... ;
During a prolonged fast the loss of
weight is unusually rapid at first and
decreases as time goes on. Death en
sues when a certain percentage of the
loss has been . reached, and this per
centage varies according to the original
weight ' Fat animals may lose half
their weight thinner ones perhaps two
fifths, a man or woman of rather spare
build, weighing: 143 pounds, might,
therefore, lose about 65 pounds before
succumbing. . Children die after a fast
of from three to five days, during which
they have lost a quarter of their
weight 'Healthy adults, however, have
fasted 50 days when water has been
taken. ' A German physician reports
the case :of a woman aged 47 years,
who fasted for 43 days, taking water
freely. She lost 44 pounds out of 143
pounds and died from exhaustion. '
The circulation of the blood Is san
guinary revolution. , 1 - .