' y S. ' .
BUFFALOES ALMOST EXTINCT.
Little More Than a Thousand of These
Animals in Existence.
The American buffalo Is fust disap
pearing from the earth. It is estimated
that there are now remaining alive in
the world only 1,024 of these noble
beasts, 684 of which are in captivity.
But it is not possible to be exact in
such a statement, inasmuch as the wild
survivors cannot be rounded up and
counted. In the densely wooded re
gions between he Saskatchawan and
Peace Elvers, in British Columbia, are
several hundred buffalo; there are
twenty or so perhaps in the desert Pan
handle region of Northwest Texas, and
In the Yellowstone National Park there
are fifty or sixty more, it is believed.
There are none at liberty anywhere
else.
These few remaining wild bison are
being steadily reduced In number. In
British Columbia they are being killed
off gradually by the Indians, while
those in the Yellowstone Park are pot
ted by poachers whenever the chance
offers. A mounted head of one of these
animals is to-day worth from $150 to
$200 and a skin brings a good price.
Ten years ago there were nearly 400
buffalo in the park, and it is thought
that the survivors can be preserved
A HUNDRED YEARS TO COME.
Who'll press for gold this crowded street,
A hundred years to come?
Who'll tread yon church with willing
feet, 4
A hundred "years to come?
Pale, trembling age and fiery youth.
And childhood with its brow of truth,
The rich and poor on land, on sea.
Where will the mighty millions be,
A hundred years to come?
We all within our graves shall sleep,
A hundred years to come;
No living soul for us will weep,
A hundred years to come;
But other men onr land will till,
And others then our streets will fill;
And other birds will sing as gay.
And bright the sunshine as to-day,
A hundred years to come.
J THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT. J
iji ii iji if 1 1
ACK WARING was bashful, but
II it was a question if he was any
more bashful than Ethel Talcott.
They could not speak to each other on
even the most trivial subjects without
stammering and blushing, but Jack
persisted in calling, despite the appar
ent discomfort his visits caused both.
Everybody could see that he was des
perately in love, and it was a saying
among their friends that if Jack could
ever summon up the courage to pro
pose, Ethel would be too bashful to re
fuse him, whether she loved, him or not.
She had just come out at the beginning
of the season, about the same time that
Jack who had just graduated from col
lege and entered his father's business,
of which he was the prospective heir,
first began to attract the attention of
designing mothers and attractive
daughters. Perhaps it was while avoid
ing them that he met Ethel, who had
-found that there are ways of keeping
out of sight when a ballroom was
crowded with other girls who were en
joying themselves. Anyway, some
common chord of sympathy made them
embarrassed friends from their first
Although Jack was bashful, he called
on Ethel as often as he dared, but in
spite of all resolution to overcome his
diffidence he made little progress with
his suit. They could get along fairly
well when there were others in the
room with them, but when left to them
selves they suffered. Unlike most
young people in a similar case, they
courted rather than avoided the com
pany of Ethel's little brother, Gus, and
Jack soon became such friends with
him that he felt called upon to remem
ber his birthday. This he did by send
ing him an elaborate box of building
blocks, which Gus dragged into the
parlor on the occasion of his next visit
and insisted that the donor teach him
how to build with them.
"What shall I build?" Jack asked.
"Build me a big hotel like the one
Ethel and I were at last summer."
Jack obediently drew his chair to the
middle of the room and began on a
suitable design. But he soon found
that building while sitting on a chair
was difficult, and as Gus was sprawled
comfortably on the floor watching the
work, he presently slipped down be
side him. Now It is a peculiar thing
about building blocks that although
they are always bought for children,
very few children can work out the
designs that go with them, and con
sequently they are forced to call on
their elders to help them. Moreover
their elders usually take kindly to the
task, and are apt to get cross if the
child interferes in any way and delays
the work in hand. In a very few min
utes Jack was as deeply Interested as
If he were building a sure-enough hotel,
and Gus watched with admiration.
Presently he tried to put In place an
arch that was ib two pieces and needed
two other blocks to be placed beside it
In order to hold the pieces in place, but
in doing so he knocked a corner out of
the building with his elbow.
"You clumsy boy!" exclaimed Ethel,
who Bad been watching with the ut
most Intense Interest. "Here let me
hold them," and a moment later she
was sitting on the floor with them.
tiie damaged
only by corraling them and reducing
them to captivity.
C. J. Jones, better known as "Buf
falo" Jones, of Oklahoma, has a herd
of over 100 full-bred buffalo, which he
wishes to sell to the government. Aus
tin Corbin was the possessor of ninety
bison, which have been more or less
scattered since his death, some of them
corner and then Ethel held the arch
until he had built around it.
"Now make some bathintr houses on
the beach," commanded Gus.
Jack obeyed, and then Gus brought
out some men and women cut out of
cardboard and set them around to re
present the guests.
"Here's you and Ethel. I'll introduce
you, for you weren't acquainted then,"
said the young rascal, as he placed the
figure of a man raising his hat before
that of a young woman with a parasol.
"All right," said Jack. "But I am
not raising my hat at her as I should. I
am raising it at the far corner of the
building. Here, let me set them right."
Saying this, he reached out and turn
ed the figure representing himself so
that it faced the figure representing
Ethel. Immediately a white hand shot
out and turned the back of the paste
board belle toward the bowing figure.
"Snubbed!" exclaimed Jack, having a
boldness for his pasteboard representa
tive that he never would have presum
ed to have for himself.
"But you don't know him yet. He's
the cheekiest man on the beach, at
heart;" and he moved his representa?:
tive with his bow in front of the maid
with the parasol.
"And she's the haughtiest girl at the
beach," said Ethel, as she again snub
bed her cavalier.
"Try them behind the hotel where the
hammock is and folks ain't lookin',"
volunteered Gus.
"Great head!" exclaimed Jack, pick
ing up the two figures to make the
change.
"Take care whom you're handling
like that!" exclaimed Ethel, grasping
him by the wrist and striving to pry
his fingers loose from her figure.
There was a struggle full of the aban
don gayety of the nursery, to which
the blocks had brought them back far
from the formalities and embarrass
ments of social life. Gus jumped into
the struggle to help Jack, and in the
general mixup the hotel was wrecked
worse than any house that was ever
built on sand. The clatter brought
them back to themselves again, but the
nursery spirit remained with them.
They once more had the frank fearless
ness of children and could look one an
other in the face without blushing.
"Now, you must build me something
else, you two," whined Gus, over the
ruins of his hotel.
For an hour they built and rebuilt
all kinds of houses to the infinite de
light of the boy, who watched and criti
cised. At last they disagreed about
what should be built.
"Let's build a cottage," said Jack.
"No, let's build a church," said Ethel.
"I want you to build both," said Gus.
So, as there were plenty of blocks to
build both, they started ft race to see
who could finish first. But it was a
peculiar thing that Jack built with his
left hand and Ethel with her right,
while each leaned on the hand that was
supposedly disengaged. But an ob
server less interested in building than
Gus might have noticed that the two
hands not used in building were trying
to rest on the same spot of floor, and
occasionally the fingers intertwined In
a way that brought the color to the
cheeks of the two young people, whose
faces were carefully averted.
"Jack's cottage Is done first," cried
Gus, sprawling forward with his card
board figures. "And here you both are
going in the front gate."
"But we should go to the church be
fore we go to the cottage," said Jack,
gallantly. "Don't you think so, Ethel?"
A gentle squeeze of the hand was the
only response.
"Then it's settled," he exclaimed, in
a trembling voice, glancing at the back
of an averted head. "First to the
church and then to my cottage."
Another pressure of assent
Just what would have happened
next, In spite of the presence of Gus,
will never, be known, for his mother,
who had entered the room unnoticed,
suddenly exclaimed:
"Well, bless my heart, is this a nurs
ery? Bless you, my children."
They both sprang to their feet in con
fusion, but Jack still clung to Ethel's
hand. Her mother looked from one to
the other, and then Jack managed to
stammer:
"That's right we want your blessing."
having been presented to New York
City. The animals, when kept in cap
tivity, show .a tendency to increase in
numbers, and Buffalo Jones has pro
duced thousands of desirable cross
breeds from his herd.
It is stated that there are not 110
pure-bred American bison outside of
this country.
"Engaged!" exclaimed the mother.
Well. I never. And that bov in the
room all the time! Talk about bashful
people!"
"Never mind that," said Jack, sud
denly grown bold as brass, as he plant
ed his first kiss on Ethel's lips. "The
question is, do we get the blessing?"
"You'll be able to tell better after
you are married," said the mother, as
she pushed them ahead of her toward
the study, where her husband was sit
ting, pretending not to overhear.
Ledger Monthly.
FAIR RIVALS IN
RIDING TO HOUNDS.
Newport society promises to be torn
in twain this season by rival hunting
parties, and nothing at present appears
to be able to avert it but consolidation
of forces, which does not seem likely.
MBS. LADEXBUKO. MISS VAN-ALES.
These two women, as the leaders, will
cause a stir in society. Mrs. Ladenburg
is a strong assistant of P. F. Collier,
who has made the sport popular with
his pack of Monmouth hounds. It is
now announced that James J. Van Alen
will import a pack of blooded hounds.
FORETELL COMING STORMS.
Telesraph Wires Are Said to Be Un
failing; Weather Prophets.
According to Dr. Eydam, a German
physician, there are no more reliable
weather prophets than telegraph wires.
This novel discovery was made by him
in the following manner: As he was
waiting for a train at a country station
he heard a shrill sound, which was
made by the wind as it passed through
a network of near-by wires. ' At once
the doctor remembered that he had fre
quently heard a similar sound either
immediately before or after a storm
or a heavy fall of rain or snow, and it
naturally occurred to him to try and as
certain between the sound and such
changes in the weather.
As a heavy shower of rail fell within
forty-eight hours after he had heard the
sound at the railroad station he con
eluded that there was such a connec
tion, and he then determined to investi
gate the matter thoroughly. As a re
sult he now maintains, first,' that any
unusual disturbance in the telegraph
wires is an infallible indication of bad
weather, and, second, that the nature of
the changes in the atmosphere may be
learned from the sound which the wind
makes when passing through the wires
Thus a deep sound, he says, which is
of considerable or medium strength
indicates that there will be slight show
ers or rain with moderate winds within
from thirty to forty-eight hours, and,
on the other hand, a sharp, shrill sound
is the sure token of a heavy storm,
which will be accompanied by much
rain or snow.
Deaf-Mates and Blind.
The number of deaf mutes in the
United States is over 111.000; the num
ber of totally blind is 88,924.
Citizenship in Switzerland.
During the last ten years there were
10,924 requests for citizenship in Switz
erland, of which 7,833 were granted.
Economy supplies old age with an
easy chair.
Crid of
Bker
If a recent report from London, Ky.,
that the Baker-Howard feud has been
finally settled is correct it will put an
end to a warfare which has lasted for
more than thirty years, which has cost
the lives of more than thirty men, and
has several times necessitated the call
ing out of the State troops with gatling
gups. and loaded rifles.
'Bloody Clay" County, the scene of
the famous feud, Is perhaps the most
remarkable as it is one of the best
known counties in the country. There
is not a mile of railroad or even a
wagon bridge with its limits. The
whole country is covered with high
hills, so close together that it is de
clared there is not a piece of level land
in the county a sixth of a mile square.
Down and between all these wood-cov
ered hills are the beds of streams which
are dry in summer time and are turned
into roaring torrents in the spring and
winter. The people of Clay County
travel either on horseback or on foot.
and they use the beds of those streams
in the place of roads. Some of the hills
are quite high, and in several instances
MANCHESTER, KY., JAIL,
the tops of two hills, which are 400 feet
in height, are less than 200 feet apart.
Often a cornfield, which begins down
in a gully, will run up several hundred
feet in the course of a few rods, and
several farmers have been killed by
railing off their cornfields.
The citizens of Clay County are al
most all the descendants of people who
settled there in 1770 or thereabouts.
Strangers are not encouraged to move
into the county, and there is nothing to
attract immigrants, even, if they were
welcomed. For more than a century
and a quarter the land has been held
by comparatively few families, who
have intermarried until practically all
the population is related in different de
grees of consanguinity.
Over much of the country the forest
is still unbroken and untouched, and
the hills are full of deep and mysteri
ous ravines. The only industries are
the raising of hogs, mules, and corn,
some of which is said to be turned into
moonshine whisky at hidden stills.
The people are by nature taciturn and
almost sullen. They rarely laugh, and
are given to moods .and brooding. In
personal appearance they are all of the
same general type, tall, averaging over
6 feet, and dark, with black hair and
eyes. The women are also large and
dark, and a few of them have any
claims to good looks. Scattered about
among the hills and usually near the
creeks are the little one-story log cab
ins, in which the larger part of Clay
County's population lives. These cab
Ins are built in a most primitive man
ner, with clay between the logs and a
huge clay and stone chimney at one
end, which is often almost as large as
the rest of the house.
Some of the people of Clay County
have Indian blood In their veins. Others
are descended from old Scotch border
families. Absolute and democratic
equality prevails among them all. The
power of money is unknown, probably
because there Is so little money within
the Bmits of the county.. They are di
vided into clans,, claiming descent from
some common ancestor of distinction,
rod the poorest of them is always ready
to hold his own and defend his honor
at the point of a rifle or revolver. To
call a man a liar in Clay County means
at least one and probably half a dozen
deaths. Everybody in the county
knows everybody else, and it is taken
for granted that a stranger is either a
government officer or a detective look
ing for some of the feud warriors.
Therefore there are few visitors to Clay
County, and those who go once are not
at all likely to return a second time.
Every Clay County boy has a rifle by
the time he is 15 and in many cases
he has taken part in one or more of the
feud battles before he has reached that
age. They are ail good shots and they
keep up to the times in the line of the
latest and most improved weapons. A
favorite amusement in Clay County Is
the shooting ont of cabin windows by
a party of prominent citizens riding
their mules home through the hills
after partaking freely of "corn juice."
With this knowledge of the country
and its people it is easier to understand
how a feud like that one which has
just come to an end might find its be
ginning in a trivial cause and be con
tinued for years, being handed down
from generation to generation.
In 1844 Dr. Abner Baker, a promi
nent physician of Clay County, shot
and killed his brother-in-law, Daniel
Bates. Dr. Baker engaged as his at
torney Daniel Garrard, the head of
one of the great families of the county
and the son of the second Governor of
the State. Hugh White, a man 6t al
most equal prominence, took the lead
ing part in Baker's prosecution. ' Dr.
Baker was convicted and finally hung.
Ever since that time the Garrard fami
ly, one of the few wealthy families of
the county, has backed the Bakers in
all their troubles, while the Whites,
who for years have controlled all the
county offices, have always been ready
to espouse the canse of the people who
for the time being were fighting the
Bakers.
For that reason the feud which has
just been ended is known as the Gar-rard-Baker-Whlte-Howard
feud. ; It be
gan in a quarrel between Tom Baker
tbe
Howdird
Feud
and A. B. Howard. Baker lived with
his wife and a family of ten children
in a one-story log cabin on Craln Creek
twelve miles from Manchester. How
ard, who owned a few hills near by,
hired Baker to cut some timber on his
land. He did not like the way Baket
did the work and quarreled with him
about it An appeal to the ever-ready
rifles was promptly taken. "Tom"
Baker and his brothers laid out in am
bush like Indians one night and shot
and killed one of Howard's sons and
one of his employes and severely
wounded the elder Howard. Anothei
son of Howard waited his chance and
put a bullet through the head of "Tom"
Baker's elder brother. "Tom" Bakei
took it for granted that Sheriff White
had instigated the killing of his brother
and took the first opportunity to kill
William L. White, whose crime was
that he was the Sheriffs brother. A
few days later Gilbert Garrard, son ol
the present head of the Garrard family,
was shot at from ambush as he was
riding his mule home from church. He
escaped unhurt and took occasion to
move out of the county. But his fathei
was made of sterner stuff. When noti
fied that as the backer of the Bakers he
was in danger of assassinati6n he hired
a nephew of "Tom" Baker and a negro
man to guard his premises at night
with dogs and rifle. Within two week
after the guard was set both of the
men were shot and killed from am
bush. Meanwhile Sheriff White was mak
ing efforts to arrest "Tom" Baker foi
the murder of his brother. But Baket
did not like the Idea of falling Into the
hands of the White-Howard faction.
Accordingly he took to the hills, where
a man might hide for years with abso
lute security. Finally the State sent a
hundred militiamen, armed to the teeth
and accompanied by a gatling gun, up
into Clay County to force Baker's sur
render and to protect him from the vio
lence of the opposing faction. Bakei
surrendered and was taken under
guard to Manchester, where he was
confined in a guard tent pitched in the
courthouse yard and surrounded by the
troops. Half an hour before the case
was to be, called for trial he stepped to
the front of the tent to look around.
Instantly a shot rang out, coming from
the house of Sheriff White, directly
across the street, and "Tom" Baker fell
back dead into the arms of his wife.
Almost before he had gasped his last
and before the startled militiamen had
recovered from their surprise and hor-
TTPICAL HOME IN THE PIGEON BOOST.
ror, Mrs. Baker, the newly made
widow, called her ten children around
the body of thefr father and there
swore each of them never to rest until
the death had been avenged.
. Then "hell bust loose in Clay," as
they say on the other side of the Ohio.
Both the Garrard-Baker and the White
Howard factions hired and armed a
number of men to fight for them, pay
ing $1 a day and ammunition, bacon,
and corn bread in plenty for such ser
vices. Now the word comes from London
that more than twenty of these pro
fessional fighters have enlisted In the
United States army and that old Gen.
Garrard, once a distinguished Federal
cavalry leader, has given his word to
Judge Beverly White that the feud
shall come to an end.
Menial Innocence.
The stupidity of servants is a trial
to the most even-tempered mistress,
but it sometimes serves to amuse the
other members of the household. There
was a girl who belonged to the familiar
category of "children and fools."
"If anyone should call this afternoon,
Mary, say that I am not well," said
a mistress to a newly engaged servant.
"I'm afraid I ate a little too mhch of
that rich pudding for dinner, and It, or
something else, has brought on a se
vere headache. I am going to lie
down."
A few moments later the mistress,
from her room at the head of the stairs,
heard Mary say to two aristocratic la
dies who called for the first time:
"Yes'm, Mrs. B is at home, but
she ate so much pudding for dinner
she had to go to bed." London King.
First Railroad Incorporation.
The first railroad act of incorporation
granted by any state in the Union was
given by the Maryland Legislature to
the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad Com
pany on Feb. 28, 1827. On April 24
of the same year the first railroad
company in the United States organ
ized as the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
Company. Peter Cooper on Aug. 28.
1830, made the first journey from Bal
timore to Ellicott's Mills.
A Remarkable Bequest.
There are some curious documents
filed in the county offices In St Joseph,
Mlcjh. Perhaps the most curious of all
Is the will of a prominent Niles town
ship farmer, who went to claim his fu
ture reward some years before the
Civil War. The remarkable part about
the will is a passage leaving 50 cents
to his daughter's husband "to buy a
rope to hang his d self with."
There is nothing a loafer enjoys bet
ter than looking wise on election night
when returns are coming in.
0UB BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE,
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Hare Been Recently Born Sarins
and Doings that Are Old, Cnr ions and
Laughable The Week's Humor.
"Sometimes," said Senator Sorghum,
pensively, "I am Inclined to look on
what some people call honesty as
downright egotism."
"I don't quite understand you."
"Well, I don't know as I can make it
absolutely clear. But I have always
gone on the principle that every man
has his price."
"So I have observed."
"Well, sir, the bids that some people
have refused would Indicate a self-valuation
which deserves to be character
ized by no less an epithet than 'inor
dinate vanity.' "Washington Star.
Exasift-e rated.
Gabb Stretchit told me that he once
saw four hens' eggs which weighed a
pound each.
Blabb I think it's an instance of
eggs-ageration'. Ohio State Journal.
Gave Himself Away.
Merchant Are your habits all cor
rect? Applicant for Position Yes, sir.
Merchant (after a pause) Do you
drink?
Applicant (absently) Thanks. Don't
care if I do.
Cumbersome.
"Do you consider It good taste for a
woman who marries to retain her for
mer name and merely add her hus
band's to It?"
"Certainly not," answered the lady
from Chicago. 'There is a charming
friend of mine, a grass widow, who,
under such a system, would be known
as Mrs. Eliza Jenkinsby-Smith-Thomp-son-Brown-Smithers
and several more
that I can't remember." Washington
Star.
Not His Wife.
Closefist Does your wife eternally
pester you for money?
Graspit No, the people she buys
things from do that. Ohio State Jour
nal. So Won'd They A'l.
"It's easy enough to tell," remarked
the girl in the fur jacket, "that men
write the paragraphs in the newspa
pers. They are always putting in little
slurs on women."
"I'd rather have any man write about
me than to have some other woman do
it," replied the girl with the retrousse
nose. Chicago Tribune.
Shorter Process.
Mrs. Chugwater Josiah. the paper
says $200,000 worth of oats changed
hands in a few minutes. How could
they do all that in so short a time?
Mr. Chugwater The oats didn't real
ly change hands. The cash changed
pockets. A woman oughtn't to try to
understand these things. They're away
beyond her. Chicago Tribune.
Well, Hardly Ever.
Faith I wouldn't marry the best
man in the world.
Hope Of course not, you goose. The
bride never marries the best man.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Isn't this a queer spot to plant seeds,
little boy?"
"We ain't plautin no' seeds. These
are InJIh relics for the summer board
ers to find." The King.
Peculiarities.
"What kind of a man is your em
ployer?" asked one young man.
"Oh, he's peculiar," answered the
other. "He thinks that simply because
he has satisfied his customers and
made money he knows more about how
his business ought to be run than 1
do." Washington Star.
Contradicted.
"Here's a scientist who says that we
think with one-half of our brain."
"Well, I could show him some people
Who don't." Puck."
CiDcht.
She Do you believe in this theory
j about spreading disease by kissing?
i He Well, they say there's something
! in it.
"Did you ever, catch anything by
kissing a girl?"
"Yes, once; her father saw me at it."
Yonkers Statesman.
Farce Comedy.
"I see the druggists are forming a
trust to maintain retail prices."
"The stage Is not the only place
where one finds farce-comedy." Ohio
State Journal.
' ' More Seductive. .
"See here," said the lobbyist of the
future, "I want you to secure the vote
of Mrs. State Senator Jones, of the
'Steenth district. You ought to get it
tor J1O0."
"O! my!" exclaimed his female as
sistant "I wouldn't think of offering
her that."
"You don't mean to say she'll want
more?"
"O! no. I'll offer her $98.98." PhU-
I adeJphia Press.
Quite Indispensable.
Towne I've seen Gazley several
nights recently with his field glass. I
wonder what his game Is.
Browne O! he's calling on Miss Kul
cher, of Boston.
Towne The Idea! What does he car
ry field glasses for?
Browne He doesn't He merely uses
the case to carry a dictionary In.
Philadelphia Press.
Knew Him Better.
Mrs. Caller Surely, you're not Jeal
ous of your husband?
Mrs. Chellus Yes. I am. He simply
can't keep his eyes off the women.
Mrs. Caller O! yes, be can. You
should see him some time when he has
a seat in a crowded street car. Phila
delphia Press.
Dearly Bought Knowledge.
Rivers This "Order of the Buffaloes"
only shows that the fools are not all
dead yet
Brooks Yes? How much did it cost
you to Join? Chicago Tribune.
Yet He Didn't Boy.
"These cigars, said the dealer, "are
the kind Senator Lotsmun smokes."
"But Senator Lotsmun has sworn off
from smoking," the customer reminded
him.
"Well, this Is the kind he swore off
from." Chicago Tribune.
In China.
First Native And the missionaries
want compensation for their property.
Second Native Dear me! Haven't
they a text that if a man takes your
coat you are to give him your cloak,
also? Puck.
Two Waiting: for Him.
Rownders Well, there's one time at
least when a fellow's sincerely glad
that he's not a polygatnist, and that's
when he comes home late from tba
club.
De Kanter Well, on such occasions
I Invariably see apparent evidence that
I'm at least a bigamist. Philadelphia
Press.
The Cares of Riches. .
"Do you find the possession of a
large sum of money occasions worry?"
said the inquisitive man.
"I do," answered the millionaire.
"What sort of worry?"
"Worry for fear somebody is going
to get it away from me." Washington
Star.
A Careless Remark.
"I am really afraid you hurt that ac
tor's feelings," said Miss Cayenne.
"In what way?"
"You said he played his part very
well. You know he is very sensitive,
and by using the word 'part,' he may
have thought you were trying to Imply
that he is not the whole show."
Washington Star.
Sliding; Scale for Wedding Fees.
Erastus Pawson, what you' charge
toe marry me an' Mary Jane?
Parson Twenty dollars.
Erastus Lo'd, dat's high. What yo'
charge to marry me to 'Liza Smif ?
Parson One dollar. Yo' see, I ad
miahs Mary Jane mahself.
A Mo lest R?qnet.
Mrs. Chatterton I should like to go
shopping this afternoon.
Chatterton But, honest, my dear, I
haven't got a dollar In my pocket.
Mrs. Chatterton (lightly) Oh, well,
then, you might give me ninety-eight
cents. Puck.
No Wonder.
"I got into an argument with Biggett
coming home in a crowded car last
night and it didn't take me long to
make him acknowledge the corn."
"You don't mean It, really?"
"Yes; I accidentally trod on his foot."
Philadelphia Press.
Just the Reverse.
Fresh I hear our 'varsity team is
going to play with the Brooklyn
Leaguers next week.
Soph No, I'm afraid the leaguers
are going to play with our team. Phil
adelphia Press.
An Unwilling Victim.
First Reporter I guess I'll take a
little of your tobacco, if you don't
mind.
Second Reporter I don't care how
little you take. Sommervllle Journal.
Paradoxic il.
Qulzzer You say you don't believs
In aerial navigation?
Cy Nick No.
' Quizzer But what about these people
you hear of walking on air? Ohio
State Journal.
An Indication.
He How innocent Miss Prlscilla is!
She blushes at everything I say to her.
She That isn't innocence, that's re
finement. Life.
Another Illusion Destroyed.
"I wish you hadn't had your Jialr cut
so short, Harold," exclaimed the young
woman, turning from him involun
tarily. "What difference does that make,
deadest?" asked Harold with tender
anxiety.
"You you have destroyed an illu
sion," she sighed. "That is all."
"You didn't think I was a poet, did
you, Clara, because I wore my hair
long?"
"No, I never suspected you of being
a poet."
"Nor an artist?"
"No."
"Then, what Illusion have I de
stroyed?" he asked.
"Perhaps I should say, Harold." she
answered, with tears In her voice, "that
you have unconsciously revealed a fact
I never suspected, dear. Yours ears
don't match!" Stray Stories.
College-Bred Men.
According to recent statistics, there
is one man in about 500 In the United
States who receives a college training.
Crazy men and fools are poor Instruc
tors.