I AN AMBIBU0US ANSWER
ADY LESTER was at her wits'
JLa en- That was the way she put
It in her colloquial dialect. Also,
he did not know which wa.y to turn,
but this was owing to the lack of
routes rather than any Indecision In se
lection. The fact was that she had adopted
the popular proverbial method of risk
ing all on a single throw of the dice,
and it had turned up aces. Reduced
to prose, this meant that she had
strained (and indeed overstrained) ev
ery nerve In order to present a thor
oughly smart appearance and give her
daughter a complete London season, In
hope that that damsel would make a
good catch, settle herself comfortably
in life, and be off her mother's hands
for the future. Alice Lester had in
sisted on this till her mother, with
much misgiving, consented. In conse
quence Lady Lester had spent the
greater part of her yearly income In
two months, and run into debt as well.
The end of the season was approach
ing and the catch had not been secur
ed. It seemed that the effort had been
fruitless, and the consequences would
have to be faced.
Lady Lester knew as well as possible
that the only way to pay her debts
was to sell capital. This would reduce
her already slender Income. Besides,
how she and Alice were going to live
and preserve a decent appearance on
the small amount of income left for the
remaining five months or so of the year
was a question which made her inclin
ed to scream whenever she thought
of It
She. was a handsome woman, tall,
stately, fortunate In the possession of
a figure that did not age, clever and
discreet in repairing the ravages of
time. She usually wore black, partly
because it was intensely becoming to
her, partly for economy's sake. She
presented a marked contrast to her
daughter, who was petit?, piquant,
dainty, with retrousse features. Tak
ing the pair together, they were as at
tractive a mother and daughter as one
could hope to see, If It had not been for
the eternal discontent written on their
features.
Her troubles had not Improved Lady
Lester's temper. -
"If you had only," she said peevish
ly to her daughter, "given half the en
couragement to Lord Wlmberley that
you have to that wretched Anderson,
you might be Lady Wlmberley, off my
hands, and able to help me a little out
of this scrape."
"It's no fault of mine," said Alice,
sullenly. "I did all I could to encour
age the stick, wasted no end of dances
on him, wore myself out with endeav
oring to talk to him and make him
ta'k, next to asked him for bis box seat
at the meet of the Coaching Club "
"We,ll, you got it," Interposed her
mother.
"Yes, and everybody, of course,
thought that it meant something, but
I knew better. I am quite sure that he
never Intended to offer it to me, and
that my offering myself was not agree
able "
"Then why didn't he say that he had
given It away laready?"
"That's a mystery to me. But I know
perfectly well that he did not give it
to me for love of me, and also that he
obviously thought before taking my
very plain hint "
"I am sure that he was most nice- "
"Nice!" cried the girl shrilly. "He
always Is nice in a kind, aggravating,
brotherly way. 'Hope yon are enjoy
ing yourself like a good little girl.'
Can I helpr 'Don't mind me If you
don't want me.' That's what he al
ways seems to be saying. Could any
one make anything out of that?"
"But he comes here a good deal -
"Yes, and Is Just as pleased to talk
to any of your old frumps as to me.
Why, I believe he is Just as pleased to
talk to you as to- me."
"Then why does he come?' said
Lady Lester, who was too much accus
tomed to her daughter's rudeness to
notice It
"Oh, I don't know. Why does
do anything? One must do something. !
tie is not a man or deep reasons. He
finds us pleasant; be meets pleasant
people here; we are kinder to him than
many. But there Is one thing that is '
quite certain that I have tried to give I
him every kind of opportunity, and he
has never taken advantage of one of I
them. On the contrary, his one desire j
has always seemed to get away." j
"Your foolish encouragement of An
derson "
"It's no good going on like that, mam- i
ma.
said the girl, blushing suddenly
red.
i siuck to Wlmberley as long
as there was a ghost of a chance, and
when I saw there was none, and no!
other man came forward well, I sup
pose I love George Anderson as much
as a girl like me can I know we can't
niarry-but what's the good of going to
dances and dancing with useless stick
after useless stick all the time?"
"Lord Wlmberley Is not a useless
tick," said Lady Lester, with sudden
warmth, which brought a tinge of color
to her cheeks and made her look much
younger and unusually handsome. "It
Is you who are such a foolish and friv
olous girl that you are Incapable of
appreciating his talents. His speeches
In the House of Lords have been much
admired "
"Oh, why don't you have a go-In for
him yourself, If you admire him so
much? I will make you a present of
my chance, for It isn't worth a straw."
"Alice, bow dare you speak to me
like that 7 Remember that I am your
mother."
Alice had not seen her mother angry
for years. She wa amazed and a trifle
alarmed at the unexpected ebullition
of the wrath of the dove.
"Of course I was only joking," she
said, sulkily. "You gave It to me, and
I thought I might have a little one
back. Of course he is not likely to
think of you. He Is a great deal too
wise to make such a er um well,
you know what I mean."
"You are an. exceedingly insolent
girl," was the mother's reply to this
polite apology, "and I terribly regret
crippling myself in this way In order
to give you a chance that you have
wasted."
"I never asked you to."
"Yes, you did. You were always say
ing that you never had a proper chance
like other girls, and what you would
do If you had. Well, now you have
bad it, and what good has It been?"
In this dialogue of "I never did" and
"I wish I hadn't" there was no doubt
a great deal of truth on both sides.
Lady Lester had been foolish; Alice
had been unsuccessful. Both had con
curred in this folly with their eyes
open, and success, after all, does not
depend solely on the desire and need
of the seeker. It would have been bet
ter If the ladles had accepted the in
evitable without recrimination, but
they had both been ground to such a
sharp edge by the continual stress of
poverty that the slightest contact was
liable to wound. Doomed as they were
by nature to fill the greater part of
their foie with talk, whether it were
well or ill. It was Inevitable that, their
conversation should recur again and
again with increasing sharpness to the
topic which they had most at heart
equally whether It were well or 111.
There was a ball that night, and the
Lesters went. Lady Lester was queer,
distrait, sharp, but distinctly looking
her best. Alice was thoroughly "down"
and conscious that she was by no
means In her most attractive form. Nor
did any special success attend her en
trance to raise her spirits. Pretty,
penniless girls with sharp tongues are
a mere drug in the London ballrooms.
George Anderson was, of course, faith
ful, and she danced several dances with
him. "It Is better than sitting out all
the evening," she said defiantly when
Lady Lester remonstrated.
Lord Wlmberley took her from
George for his usual one dance.
"That seems a nice young man," he
said in his kind, friendly, unlover-like
way. "Not well off, is he? It is a
pity he hasn't some clever woman to
push him along."
"Why, what could a woman do?" de
manded Alice, surprised and interest
ed. "Oh, lots of things. Women can
push and ask when men can't. They
are sure to be treated politely eveh
when they are refused, and very often
they get what they want simply be
cause it is difficult to refuse a woman.
Besides, they can stick to the subject
Don't you remember that the unjust
Judge gave way to the importunate
widow solely to get rid of her, where
as he would have ordered a man to
be thrown out Well, now, what Mr.
Anderson wants Is that a woman
should find out some comfortable berth
vacant and never rest until she has
pushed him Into It."
"But how does a woman begin?"
said Alice, with deepening Interest, for
there was something fascinating in the
picture which Wlmberley drew so
lightly.
"Oh, she talks to people and finds
out. Now It happens, oddly enough,
that I know of a post worth seven
hundred a year, which Is practically in
my gift, and which any gentleman who
was also a man of the world and dis
posed to stick to his work could fill"
"Why don't you give It to Mr. An
derson ?"-
"Well, you see, I don't know him, and
I am not a general philanthropist If
a friend of mine, whom I wished to
oblige, were to ask me but none has.
Apropos, I want you to do me a favor."
Alice's heart beat at this abrupt an
nouncement Was it possible that he
could mean to propose after this extra
ordinary beginning? If so, would she
be glad? Would she be
He made his request in plain,
straightforward language, and she gaz
ed at him at first mystified, then a prey
to mixed emotion, anon aware of a
rose-colored future before her. Her
fact wreathed in smiles as she gave her
consent
"Well, now, Is there anything that
you want from me, little girl?"
Whereupon Alice, smiling and blush
ing, told him what she wanted most.
In the following afternoon Lord
Wlmberley called on the Lesters and
found them at home. Soon after his
arrival Alice left the room on some ex
cuse. Then she put on her hat and
went out for the afternoon, telling the
servant to say "Not at home" to any
callers.
When she returned she found her
mother sitting In the drawing room,
musing profoundly. As Lady Lester's
hour for dressing was past and her
toilet was a long and important func
tionAlice felt that something had
happened. She was a trifle anxious,
but she did not dare question her moth
er -
The latter opened the balL
"Don't you think, Alice, it was rath
er rude of you to go away when Lord
Wlmberley was here?"
"No," replied Alice, boldly. "He ask
ed me to. It was arranged last night
that I should."
Mother and daughter looked fixedly
at one another.
"He is such a young man," observed
the former, vaguely. "He cannot know
his mind."
"He Is not such a young man, re
plied Alice gravely. "He Is a good deal
older than, many men of more age. Be
sides, he is serious, devoted to politics,
much admired as a speaker as you
yourself said. And he certainly knows
his own mind. He practically and
very tactfully offered me a place for
George, with seven hundred a year, so
that we may be able to marry and be
out of the way If I could help him,
and a man doesn't do that unless he
means business."
"He told me that he thought you
would marry," murmured the widow,
"and spoke very generously about
you."
"He Is very rich," pursued Alice. "It
would b a mere fleabite to him. Wlm
berley Is a lovely place, and there is
the coach, and no doubt there would
be a house in town, and carriages, and
every luxury, and no more worry and
trouble, and you know, darling, that
when you really take trouble you don't
look more than half quite young, in
fact, especially to people who are a
little shortsighted, as he Is "
"And I should be free from your
tongue," Interposed the widow, sharp
ly, by no means grateful for these com
pliments. "Yes, you are right Lord
Wlmberley proposed to me this after
noon. I told him It was sadden and I
would give him an answer to-morrow.
I have thought It over, and I shall say
'Yes.' He swears that he loves' me
and has never loved anyone else "
"And you must love him, too, moth
er, dear," observed Alice, with catlike
softness, "or you wouldn't marry him."
"Of course I love him devotedly
have from the first. There is no other
reason why I should marry him, is
therer
But, reviewing the circumstances of
the case, Alice felt that this answer
might mean anything. London World.
HOW SHE GAINED CONSENT.'
Tactful Girl Obtained Her Father's Ap
proval of Her Marital Choice.
Being an Independent, straightfor
ward American girl, she boldly entered
the library where herfather was trying
to keep awake, took his lap in prefer
ence to an easy chair, got him by a
half-Nelson hold about the neck and
promptly told him that she had en
gaged herself to that young Johnson
on Second avenue.
"Whatr whooped the old gentleman,
and he attempted to get his feet that
he might express himself with more
action and Impressiveness. But it Is
a quick shift from the Half-Nelson to
the strangle hold and she made the
shift while she talked rapidly in a coo
ing tone, patted him on the cheek with
her free hand and vigorously worked
the Btrangle.
"Lucy!" he yelled; "break away,"
showing that he was not so unsophis
ticated as he looked, "you're throttl
ing me."
"He had a nice position and good
prospects and no bad habits, and he
never made love to any girl before,
and his family is all right and mamma
said she was willing if you were and
Uncle Dick says there are lots of worse
fellows than Mr. Johnson and Aunt
Kate says she always did like him and
our minister "
"For heaven's sake, girl," gurgled
the old gentleman, who was purple and
gasping, "do you know what you're
doing?" and he made a desperate effort
to break the hold, with the result that
he tightened It
"Don't get excited, papa dear, bless
his old heart' I knew you wouldn't be
cruel enough to break my heart," and
she put on the pressure. "As I was
saying, the minister said "
"Minister be Mowed!" and papa's
eyes were bulging. "All of 'em be
blowed. Marry him. Marry the whole
Johnson family, but let me get a
breath." Then she kissed him enthu
siastically, called him an angel and
was proclaiming her engagement in
the parlor, while the old gentleman
was coughing, wheezing, swearing and
assuring himself how he'd hate to be
In Johnson's place. Detroit Free
Press.
Australia the Poor Man's Paradise.
The cheapness of living In Australia
is proyerbial; it is a veritable poor
man's paradise. In the. butchers' shops
you see twopenny and fourpenny tick
ets on the meat, and provisions of lo
cal production are equally inexpensive.
In the eating houses or coffee houses
a great feature of town life there
you can get a square meal, consisting
of a steak or chop, bread and butter
and tea,' for sixpence. There .are no
tips for waiters in the Antipodes. The
Colonials are enormous tea drinkers,
and on an average partake of the
cheering herb seven times a day.
Boarding houses another prominent
feature are rendered almost essential
In a land where the domestic servants
command a wage of a pound a week,
with every evening out and leave to
practice the piano and keep a bicycle.
' Instructing Mrs. Custer. '
"I was dining out one evening among
a notable company of people, most of
whom I knew only by reputation," says
George Inness. Jr., in the Home Jour
nal. "I was assigned a seat next to a
very charming and Intellectual woman,
and did my best to entertain her. Said
I: 'What can I talk about that will in
terest you? I have had some little ex
perience as a cavalryman; possibly you
may care to hear something about
horses In the field.'
" 'Why, yes; certainly, answered my
fair companion; 'I know a little con
cerning army life, and I once wrote a
book called "Boots and Saddles." And
then It dawned on my poor, dull brain
that I was talking to the widow of the
great cavalry leader. Gen. Custer; so I
said no more about horses or army
life."
-
Censorship In China.
The 'censorship is a very real thing In
China. There any one who writes an
immoral book is punished with 100
blows of the heavy bamboo and banish
ment for life. Any one reads It is also
punished.
Elastic Substances.
"Rubber, spun-glass, steel, and ivory
are the most elastic substances." The
writer of this seems to have forgotten
the human conscience. Boston Tran
script When a mam first begins to feel the
need of a cane, he carries an umbrella
with him which he never opens, and
thinks he la fooling people.
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring th
World Over Bay tags that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Tonus;-Fanny Bslsc
Hons that Yon Will Enjoy.
'So you had a good time on that ex
cursion, Mrs. Wiggins?"
"Oh, just grand.'
"Did you have any adventures ?"
"I think so; I got on the wrong train
going, lost my pocketbook and um
brella, broke my spectacles twice, and
got on the wrong train coming home."
Indianapolis Journal.
Men's Opinions.
"You can't tell some women any
thing." "Of course not; they won't stop talk
ing themselves long enough to let you."
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Which He Never Got.
Customer I want to get a ton of coal.
Dealer What size?
Customer The legal 2,240-pound size.
If you please. Philadelphia Press.
Just Think of It.
Dear Mother My birthday will soon
be here, and as I write this I sit with
my window open. Think of doing this
in New York In January.
Strike a Success.
Cahill Was the strike a success?
Caseidy It was. After being out six
weeks we succeeded in gittin' back our
Jobs. Puck.
Began Like One.
Mamma Once upon a time there was
a goose that laid golden eggs
Little . Eddie (interrupting) Is we to
believe this story, mamma?
Mamma (amused) Just as you please.
Little Eddie (with a sigh of relief)
Oh, I thought perhaps it was a Bible
6tory. Brooklyn Life.
6hakspearean Criticism.
"Feller name o' Shakspeare fooled
our folks purty well tea' week," said
Mr. Meddergrass. "He gave a show
called 'Julius Caesar" down to the
opry-house, an' blamed ef the whole
thing wasn't made up out o' pieces
that's been spoke at the school exhibi
tions here for twenty year." Baltimore
American.
A Common Parentasre.
Josher They say that Mrs. Newrocks
simply won't be snubbed.
Bighead Well, there wouldn't be any
body in society unless they had had an
cestors just like her. Life.
Incontestable Proo'.
Belle Do you think Chappie loves
me?
Grace I know it. He told me to-day
that he was going to shave off his mus
tache so he could devote more thought
to you. Smart Set
The Besult.
Towne Newman took part in an
automobile race not long ago.
Brown That so? How did he come
out?
Towne On crutches, about a month
later. Philadelphia Press.
When She Doesn't Bins;.
Harry Dountown (to country sweet
heart) Miss Milkywelgh, do you play
and sing "When the Cows Are In the
Corn?"
Miss Milkywelgh Lord bless you, no!
I get the dogs and chase 'em out
Of One Mind.
Tess Yes, Charlie and I agree per
fectly. He thinks I am Just too sweet
for anything, and "
Jess That proves it
Tess How do you mean?
Jess I mean that, of course, you
agree with him. Philadelphia Press.
Her Excuse.
Clara What Is your ideal In being en
gaged to a man old enough to be your
father?
, Maud I didn't know but I would
marry him.
Got What They Wanted.
Their Caller I don't see why Count
Parches! and his American wife should
quarrel.
Miss Davis Their interests clash, do
they not?
Their Caller Not to any marked de
gree. She wanted a foreign alliance,
and he a foreign allowance, that's alL
Harlem Life. . - ' .
Punished.
"What are you reading, Dorle?"
"Papa's poems."
"Been naughty?" Punch.
One Instance.
"Thomas," said the teacher of the
class in physiology, "can you give a
familiar instance of the power of the
human system to adapt Itself to
changed conditions?"
"Yes'm," responded Tommy Tucker.
"My Aunt Abigail gained a hundred
pounds in flesh in less'n a year, an' her
skin didn't crack A particle." Chicago
Tribune,
The Question with Him.
"The question," replied Prince Tuan,
"Is whether or not there shall be any
partition of China."
"It occurs to me," said Prince Chung,
"that the main question is whether or
not there shall be any partition of you
and I." Baltimore American.
How to Keep In the Swim.
"Mrs. Fotheringay Jibbs came to my
reception without an Invitation."
"You don't mean It?"
"Yes; she explained to me that she
felt sure my omission of her was an
oversight" Indianapolis Journal.
Running Expenses.
Jones They say the running expenses
of Slobb, Jobb & Co. eat up all the
profits.
Smith How so?
Jones Slobb was running for Con
gress and Jobb was playing the races.
Puck.
Plain Evidence.
Wife What shall we name the baby,
John?
Husband I have decided to leave
that entirely to you, my dear.
"John, you've been drinking again!"
Smart Set.
And Do It First.
Askit What is your understanding
of the Golden Rule? Does it mean:
"Do unto others as you would 'like' to
be done by?"
Blzness No; my interpretation Is:
"Do unto others as you would 'be like
ly' to be done by." Philadelphia Press.
The Professor's Dilemma.
Booker Prof. Delvlngton Is in a ter
rible quandary.
Hooker Why, what's the trouble?
Booker He has discovered a new dis
ease and can't find any germ for it
Chicago News.
A Sure Indication.
"Here," said the agent of the steam
ship line, "are a few of our circulars
and booklets, giving detailed descrip
tions of winter tours to out-of-the-way
places on our vessels." ,
The bank cashier paled and shrank
back with a gesture of alarm.
"Take 'em away!" he gasped. "If
one of the Directors 'ud see those things
sticking out of my pocket, he'd put a
bunch of experts on my books! Take
'em away!" Washington Post .
A Surprise.
"What's the matter with Jones? He
looks troubled."
"Well, you know he was desperately
In love with Miss Gaygirl, and one
night he thoughtlessly asked ner to
marry him, and "
"She refused him?"
"No, she accepted him." Colorado
Springs Gazette.
On His Mind.
Teacher Who can name the bones of
the skull?
Bobby I've got 'em all in my head,
but I can't think of them.
Thought He Ate the Tires.
Star Boarder Well, even if this Is an
age of improvements, they have not yet
found a substitute for the Thanksgiv
ing turkey.
Mr. Sourdropp I don't know. I think
they gave us some stewed automobile
last year. Baltimore American.
Overdid It a Little.
Rev. Mr. Saintly I was very sorry
that I couldn't fill my pulpit last Sun
day, but I hope you liked my substi
tute. Mrs. Witherby Oh, yes. He was fine,
and I told my husband, who didn't go,
that he little knew what he had
missed. Life.
Worse Yet.
Mrs. Wunder What are these straw
berries worth?
Marketman One dollar, lady.
Mrs. Wunder What? A dollar a
box?
Marketman No, mum. . A dollar
apiece. Baltimore American.
A Very Goc d Ke .aon.
Sunday School Teacher Herbert can
you tell me how Christmas came to be
celebrated?
Little Herbert (promptly) Yes'm.
Santa Claus was born on that day!
Philadelphia North American.
Cam Id.
"Did you do nothing to resuscitate
the body?" was recently asked of a
witness at a coroner's inquest
"Yes, sir, we searched the. pockets,"
was the reply. Sacred Heart Review.
Not a Suffragist.
"Madam, are you a woman suffra
gist r
"No, sir; I haven't time to be."
"Haven't time? Well, If you had
the privilege of voting whom would you
support?"
"The same man I have supported for
the last ten years my husband."
Modes and Fabrics.
Proof.
A low cry of anguish fell from her
lips.
"My heart Is broken!" she moaned.
Guardedly we expressed a doubt of
this.
"Yes, yes!" persisted the girl, wildly
wringing her hands. "For why, else,
have I to-day written fewer than ten
pages In my diary?"
Now although we had comparatively
small understanding of the subtler
motives of the everlasting feminine,
we felt instinctively that here was
proof not lightly to be gainsaid. De
troit Journal.
Wheat Consumption of the World.
The bread-eaters of the world require
more than 2,300,000,000 bushels of
wheat every twelve months.
An Irreverent writer says that
Satan's fall was probably due to his
having slipped on a peal of thunder.
A young man seldom believes that a
girl enjoys a kiss unless be has it from
her own lips.
HOW HE'D STOP THE CRYING.
Suggestion of a Man Whose Peace Was
Disturbed by a Fretful Baby.
The woman and the baby in the
westbound avenue car kept the car
lively. The baby had the unquenchable
yells from the peace monument to the
war department and beyond. The
baby kicked and tossed and beat its
mother In the face with Its fists and
tried to poke boles In the car window
and gasped and snorted and choked.
"What is it mamma's pitty Itty sing
wants r the baby s mother would in
quire. "Wow-wow Blub-wo-eo!"
"Baby hurts its poor Itty mamma
punching her. Does baby want the
nice itty horsier
"Zip woosh naw blubs baw
we-ow!"
"Shall she go buy It a new dress and
dollie?"
"Wham-whlng whooshomoo wow."
"See out of the window, the wagon
going along without any horsle. Isn't
that funny?"
"Ker-chug ma-ma woof wow!"
"Shall mamma take It to the store to
see the new pltties?"
"Ker-blm oo-oo!"
"Don't want to see the pltties?
There, now, there. Don't ky no more.
mamma's itty sing. Shall she dance It
up and dorn?"
"Baw miff um-swat ce cc
wow!"
The tall, correctly dressed man, who
was sitting right alongside the woman
with the baby, and whose Raglan the
baby had been threatening to kick Into
short ribbons for some time past,
reached down and chucked the baby
under the chin, smiling amiably, and
causing the mother to look pleased.
Mamma's booful baby," she went
on. addressing the youngster soothing
ly. "Indeed, mamma doesn't know
what In this world to do with such
bad boy."
"Have you ever tried," Inquired the
correctly dressed man. as the car was
coming to a halt for him to get off
"have you ever tried the brass knucks,
a sand bag, a piece of lead pipe or an
ice pick?"
And before the mother could recover
from her amazement the brute had
stepped off and the car had started
ahead, the young one still yowling.
Washington Star.
THE CHAMPION WOOER.
Man Who Made Love to His Mother
i in-Law.
Robert J Patterson, of Brooklyn,
should be declared the champion
wooer. He has distanced all records.
Since winning the
affections of a very
beautiful girl ' and
marrying her about
two years ago, he
has made love to
thirty-one different
maidens and has
proposed marriage
PATTkRSON.
to nearly every one
of them. He has tried to make love to
his two pretty sisters-in-law and has
even proposed marriage to bis mother-in-law.
He had seventeen courtships
on his list at one time, and on a certain
evening proudly boasted to his wife
that twelve women bad accepted him
that very day.
. Mrs. Patterson Justly became vexed
at her husband's wholesale lovemak
Ing to other women and is now seeking
a divorce. As one after another of the
young ladies to whom her husband had
proposed marriage gave her testimony
it seemed certain that the young wife's
petition would be granted, but when
the mother-in-law told of the gallant
young husband's lovemaking to her,
the shadow of a doubt fell upon the
mind of the honored judge. He re
served his decision, debating whether
to grant the decree of divorce or to ap
point a commission in lunacy to deter
mine the mental condition of the young
Lothario.
Surface Indications.
From "A Book on , Dartmoor,"
written by the Rev. S. Baring-Gould,
comes a story which might have come
from a less trustworthy source:
The wild and romantic country of
Dartmoor consists of a table-land with
rugged peaks or tors, and all but im
passable marshes. After a dry sum
mer it Is easy to pick one's way across
parts of which at other times are full
of pitfalls. At one of the latter periods
a man was cautiously threading his
way across one of these treacherous
marshes when he saw a hat lying brim
downward on the sedge. He gave it
a gentle, good-humored kick in passing,
and almost jumped out of his skin
when a choked voice called out from
beneath:
"What be you a-dolng to my 'at?"
"Be there now a chap under"n?" ex
claimed the traveler.
"Ees. I reckon, and a hoss under me
likewise."
Logical Reasoning.
An amusing little English book en
titled "Children's Sayings," just pub-"
lished, contains the following: "Two
little children being awakened by their
nurse one morning and told that they
had a new little brother were keen, as
children are, to know where and bow
he arrived. - 'It must have been the
milkman,' said the gtrL 'Why the
milkman? 'Because he says on his
cart, "Families Supplied." ,"
Hand Magnets in Machine Shops.
One-of the chief troubles in machine
shops Is the frequency with which
workmen are wounded more or less
painfully, and even dangerously, by
flying splinters striking the eye. A
hand magnet is always kept conveni
ent for the purpose of drawing these
splinters out of the eye, and one of the
latest productions Is an electro-magnet
designed expressly for this work.
Princess Royal.
The title of Princess Royal, borne by
the Empress Frederick of Germany be
fore her marriage. Is not given to the
eldest daughter of English sovereigns,
but only to the first child should It bap
pen to be a girl.
Every time a. woman wipes her face
on a new towel, she is reminded of the
discomforts of her early married days,
when everything around the bouse was
new.
Good servant girls are as scarce as if
servant girls had enlisted hi the lata
war, and hadn't been mustered out yet.
it. j.
REVIEW OF TRADE.
Activity is Becoming More -Pronounced In the
Wool Markets.
R. G. Dun & Co. says: Business "In
the East and particularly along the
North Atlantic coast has been catching
up with the rest of the country a little
this week, bo that in the lines where
'.omplaint has been heard of late the
tone is better. This comes Irora the
working off of retail stocks which the
owners feared would have to be carried
over to next season. In builders'
hardware the buying has been nota
bly better, and the distribution in
the grocery jobbing trade has
been given a considerable stimulus.
Even the laggard dry goods market bas
shown a good measure of improvement,
though in cotton goods there is still
much to be desired, for the larger buy.
ing has not brought any improvement
in the general tone, and in some direc
tions the maiket is slower than a week
ago.
Footwear is firmly held at unchanged
prices, with good buying of spring
lines in the Boston market. Western
trade is less active and some orders
have been countermanded.
No diminution appears in the move
ment of iron and steel products. Mills
are rushed with orders and new con
tracts are taken at full prices. Pig
iron is freely bought and prices tend
upward. Billets and other partially
manufactured forms are firmer, and
finished goods would command higher
prices if immediate delivery coold be
seoarsd.
Grain markets are devoid of wide
fluctuations, although many reports
are circulated regarding the condition
of winter wheat, but it i9 too early to
secure definite information. News
from India and Australia indicate a
larger ciop than last year's.
Failures for the week in the United
States were 253 against 201 last year.
In Canada for the same period they
were 39 against 33 last year.
PACIFIC COAST TRADE. "
Seattle Market
Onions, new yellow, $2.503.
' Lettuce, hot house, $1.60 per case.
Potatoes, new. $18.
Beets, per sack, $1.
Turnips, per sack, 75o.
SquaBh 2c.
Carrots, per sack, 75c
Parsnips, per sack, $1.251.50.
Celery 60c doz.
Cabbage, native and California,
2c per pounds.
Butter Creamery, 25c; dairy, 15
18c; ranch, 16c 18c pound.
Cheese 14c.
Eggs Ranch, 20c; Eastern 20c.
Poultry 13c: dressed, native chick
ens, 13&c; turkey, 15c.
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $15.00:
choice Eastern Washington timothy,
$19.00.
Corn Whole, $33.00; cracked, $24;
feed meal, $24.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
$20.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.40;
blended straights, $3.25; California,
$3.25; . bnckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.25; whole wheat
flour, $3.25; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $15.00;
shorts, per ton, $16.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton:
middlings, per ton, $23; oil cake meal,
per ton, $29.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, price 8c; cows, mutton '
1 pork, 8c; trimmed, 10c; veal, 10c.
Hams Large, llic; small, 11$;
breakfast bacon, 18c; dry salt sides,
8c.
Portland Market.
Wheat Walla Walla. 55c; Valley
nominal; Bluestem, 57 o per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $3.40; graham,
$2.60.
Oats Choice white, 45c; choice
gray, 43c per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $16.50 brew
ing, $16.50 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $16.00 ton; mid
dlings, $21.50; shorts, $18.50; chop,
$16 per ton.
Hay Timothy, $12 12.50; clover.fT
9.50; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 60 55c;
store, 27c.
Eggs 14o per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13o;
Young America, 14c; new cheese lOo
per pound.
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.50
per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs,
$2.003.50; geese, $6.007.00 doz;
ducks, $5.006.00 per dozen; turkeys,
live. Ho per pound.
Potatoes 40 50c per sack; sweets.
$1,65 per lOOpouna.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75o;
per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab
bage, lc per pound; parsnips, 85c;
onions, $2. 25 2. 75; carrots, 75c.
Hops New crop, 1214c per
pound.
Wool Valley, 13(3 14o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 10 12c; mohair, 25
per pound.
' Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
$4-75; ewes, $4.50; dressed mutton,
6 )i 7c per pound.
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.25;
light and feeders, $5.00; dressed,
6( 7c per pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4.604.75;
cows. $4. 00 4. 50; dressed beef, 6(3.
7o per pound.
Veal Large, ?7ac; small, i
9c per pound.
San Francisco Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 11 13c per
pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 14c; Val
ley, 1517c; Northern, 910c.
Hops Crop, 1900, 1620o.
Butter Fancy creamery 21c;
do seconds, 17c; fancy dairy. 19
do seconds, 14c per pound.
Eggs Store, 22c; fancy ranch,
26c.
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
20.00; bran, $15.00 16.00.
Hay Wheat $913; wheat and
oat $9.00 12.50; best barley $9.50
alfalfa, $7.00 10.00 per ton; straw,
8547c per bale.
Potatoes Oregon Burbanks, $1;
Salinas Burbanks, 75c$1.05; river
Burbanks, 35 60c; sweets, 60 $ 1.00.
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia,
$2.75(33.25; Mexican limes, $4.00
6.00; California lemons 75c$1.60;
do choice $1.752.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
S.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates. 66Ho per
pound.