Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, December 14, 1900, Image 4

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    MISAPPROPRIATING A SMILE.
was seated in the corner of a car,
When I got a most excruciating jar
Not the ordinary kind
To which gripmen are inclined.
But a jolt that shocked me more than
that by far.
From adown the aisle a fascinating girl
Set my senses in an amatory whirl,
When she turned a pretty smile
Toward my corner, and the while
Showed the tips of teeth that glistened
as the pearl.
T responded with a twinkle of my eye
('Tis a little trick I studied, by the by),
And although I passed my street,
Still I kept my corner seat.
For the hope within my heart was run
ning high.
Then it was I got the dolorific jar:
Just behind me, on the platform of the
car,
Stood the man at whom, 'twas plain,
She was smiling through the pane,
And I'd ridden half a mile or more too
far.
-Life
f A Walk with Jshbel.
S t
B DON'T mind talking to you, you
know," said Ishbel she insists on
being spelled that way "because
you are not a stupid boy and you have
a nice detached point of view, but you
must promise when I tell you things
not to imagine I mean myself."
"How could I imagine you a thing?"
I asked reproachfully.
"You know what I mean," said Ish
bel with severity. "When I was quite
young," she pursued she is 22 "1 used
to fancy that authors put themselves
into their stories. Now I know they
never do."
"Well I am not quite young," I said
crossly. "Go on."
"But you didn't promise."
"I promised."
Ishbel adjusted her hatpin. "Once
there was a girl," she began, "who at
the age of 17 was sent to England to
visit her father's people. That's rather
a nice beginning, isn't It?" she Inter
rupted herself. "It sounds as if it
might be print Do you think If you
saw a story with a beginning like that
you would read it?"
"Candidly ?" I inquired.
"Of course."
"I don't think I should."
There was a dangerous glitter in her
eye.
"But," I hastened to add, "reading a
story is very different to have you tell
It, you know. I could listen to yon for
a thousand years."
She was mollified. "It won't take
that long," she assured me with a smile.
There is no word for her smile but de
licious. "Do go on," I said. "Did she like
the people?'
"Well, some of them," doubtfully.
"You see they were English and she
was an American."
"Yes."
"And and young, they bullied her a
little. The next time," with animation,
"I mean, when we go over, I don't
think they'll bully me."
"I don't fancy they will."
"And so you see she didn't have as
good a time as she might exactly. But
she did have a love affair."
"Oh," said L
"Yes," said Ishbel. "He was a sort of
distant connection of hers, a lawyer,
what they call over there a solicitor,
you know. m He she said he was very
much in love and so was she."
"Confound" I began.
"I beg your pardon," said Ishbel.
"I meant" I said, sternly, "it is very
wrong of deterimentals to make love to
girls.'
"It Is," agreed Ishbel. "But he was
very oh, very honorable. Things had
gone, well, they had gone rather far,
you know, but the week before she
sailed, when he proposed at least he
didn't exactly propose, but he told her
be had only 300 a year, and that, of
course, it was out of the questiou in
England to marry on that, and he ' Fred by the collar and listening. I could
couldn't bear the idea of hampering her hear voices, the rustle of the corn and
with a long engagement and what did the tramp of feet near by. It was thun
you say?" dering in the distance that heavy,
"Oh, nothing." shaking thunder that seems to take
"Are you sure? Yon put me out. ! hold of the earth, and there were
Well, be said she niusn't be engaged to sounds in the corn like the drawing of
i
to tUmece
Ipafoe it
Jell tlla
Beau v(&
Ilit9m'krmj Hat
edi ksir ,m dh d n
eg it i H aa
nam a n
S U IT TEL
jr & m tl
him, but he would hold himself engaged
to her, and some day when the senior
partner dropped off I do wish," petu
lantly, "you wouldn't mutter like that."
I groveled.
"Where was I?" demanded IshbeL
"Oh, well, then they said good-by, you
know, and she was perfectly miserable
if you look so horribly cross 1 shall
send you home oh, dreadfully miser
able. She felt that she didn't care a
straw about other men, and there were
she said there were some very nice
men in the steamer coming home, too.
Balls and parties had no attraction for
her, and fancy, for ever so long she
hardly took any interest In her. frocks.
Oh, It was horrid. She only lived for
his letters and somehow they well,
they were not exactly satisfactory.
She supposed It was because he was so
very honorable, and they were not real
ly engaged, you know. But one day
she thought it all over and decided that
sort of thing would have to come to an
end. She knew she would never be
happy for a moment till he came out,
as she knew he would some day, to
claim her, but she made up her mind
to stop thinking about him as much as
possible and try to seem happy, no mat
ter how perfectly miserable she was In
reality. The Idea was, you see I think
she got it out of a poem to lock his
image up in her heart."
"I see," said I. "And how did it
work?"
"It worked very well," said Ishbel,
renectiveiy. ue Knew sne was
wreached, but she didn't allow herself
to thing about it"
"And what happened?" I asked brisk
ly.
"Well, after three years he came."
"Oh, he did?
"Of course," said Ishbel sharply. "Did
you imagine he didn't?"
I coughed. "And she unlocked her
heart?"
"Yes," said IshbeL
"And the image '
"It's a very odd thing,' replied Ishbel,
slowly, "but It wasn't there."
I caughed again. "Was her heart-
did she find the receptacle er-empty?"
I asked.
"She didn't tell me that," said Ish
bel. We walked on. "So that," I re
marked, presently, "was the reason
why that long-legged English fel
low ;"
"But you promised," cried Ishbel.
Boston Post.
RAFTERS OF LIVING GREEN.
Description la "Kben Holden" of a
Day in the Cornfield.
We climbed the wall as be ate, and
buried ourselves in the deep corn. The
fragrant silky tassels brushed my face
and the corn hissed at our intrusion,
crossing its green sabers in our path.
Far in the field my companion heaped
a little of the soft earth for a pillow,
spread the oilcloth between rows, and
as we lay down drew the big shawl
over us. Uncle Eb was tired after the
toil of that night and went asleep al
most as soon as he was down. Before
I dropped off Fred came and licked my
face and stepped over me, his tail
wagging for leave, and curled upon the
shawl at my feet I could see no sky In
that gloomy green aisle of corn. This
going to bed in the morning seemed a
foolish business to me that day and I
lay a long time looking up at the rus
tling canopy overhead. I remember list
ening to the waves that came whisper
ing out of the further field, nearer and
nearer, until they swept over us with
a roaring splash of leaves, like that of
water flooding among rocks, as I have
heard it often. A twinge of homesick
ness came to me and the snoring of
Uncle Eb.gave me no comfort I re
member covering my head and crying
softly as I thought of those who had
gone away and whom I was to meet
In a far country, called heaven, whither
we were going. I forgot my -sorrow
finally in sleep. When I awoke it had
grown dusk under the corn. I felt for
Uncle Eb and he was gone. Then I
called to him.
"Hush, boy! lie low!" he whispered,
bending over me, a sharp look in his
eye. " 'Fraid they're after us."
He sat kneeling beside me, holding
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sabers and the rush of many feet. The
noisy thunder clouds came nearer, and
the voices that made us tremble were
no longer heard. Uncle Eb began to
fasten the oil blanket to the stalks of
Corn for a shelter. The rain came roar
ing over us. The sound of it was like
that of a host of cavalry coming as a
gallop. We lay bracing the stalks, the
blanket tied above us, and were quite
dry for a time. The rain rattled in the
sounding sheaves and then came flood-
mg uowu me sieeu gutters. Auove us
oeani ami raner creaKea, swaying ana
showing glimpses of the dark sky. The
rain passed we could hear the last
battalion leaving the field and then
the tumult ended as suddenly as it
began. The corn trembled a few mo
ments and hushed to a faint whisper.
Then we could hear only the drip of
raindrops leaking through the green
obf. It was dark under the corn.
UPON A CATARACT'S BRINK.
Thr.Hlng Experience of a Voyager on
the Ottawa River.
The horrible experiences of one wht
hsa 1 ifMn Rwont nwnv hv cniio morot
less current and finds himself at las'
at the brink of a cataract may possibly
be imagined, but there are few whr
survive to relate to us the particulars o.
such an ordeal. Yet there is one in
stance where a man was saved at th
very edge of the falls.
There are few more imposing bits d
scenery In Canada than where the Ot
tawa River pours thundering and foam
ing over the Chaudiere Falls. Whei
the water in the river is low, as it is
in autumn, there is a fall of about fortj
feet, but when the river is swollen bj
melting snows in the spring the ap
parent depth of the fall is lessened. Ai
any time the rush and swirl of the
great river over this ledge of rock is a
sight worth seeing.
In some places the water pours over
In a dense and irresistible volume, while
at other points a shallow stream will
spray Itself over a higher table of rock.
On the upper Ottawa are floated
booms of logs which feed the large
lumber Industries of that region. Han
dling these wet logs is a treacherous
business, and It is easy to lose one's
foothold and fall into the swift stream.
Accidents of this kind occur frequent
ly. The' only case that did not have a
fatal termination Is the one referred to
here.
xne man was nosy rorsing tuese logs
with those sharp tongs used to swing
them about and draw them In, when
he missed his footing and fell into the j
river. Though a strong swimmer, he
could not withstand the current and
vo awepi out iuio me stream uuu uu ,
toward the falls. Nearing the falls, he
found himself still conscious, and it
happened that he was being floated
over one of those tables of rock where
the water was so shallow that he felt
himself touch. He struggled to regain
his feet, and was successful in so do
ing, so that he found himself standing
In, perhaps, a foot of rushing water, at
the brink of the cataract, a great cur
rent surging by him on every band.
But It seemed hopeless. He saw no
way of getting to shore, and no one
from the shore could get to him. Many
people on the banks of the river were
watching him and trying to study out
some plan to save him. Finally a large
derrick was brought to bear, such as is
used In building operations. A great
arm with ropes was swung out over
the current, and .when the man had
fastened himself securely with the
ropes he was raised up high and swung
In, just as a large stone would be raised
in constructing a building.
Work and Atmosphere.
During the building of a railroad in
Switzerland, at an altitude of ten tbou-
sand feet the discovery has "been made
that the atmosphere is so rarifled that
men employed upon the work cannot
continue their labors for half so long a
time as is possible when working in a
lower atmosphere. The cold also may
have something to do with it, for, as
every one knows, the atmosphere be
comes colder and colder the greater dis
tance it is above the surface of the
earth. Were lt not for the atmosphere,
indeed, the ordinary temperature of the
world would be below zero to the ex
tent of three hundred degrees Fahren
heit. Too many culinary assistants
are
sure to Impair the flavor of the Qoa-
somme.
J
flUMOU OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
-. OF THE 'PRESS.
Odd, Curious and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por
trayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our Own Day -A Budget of Fan.
He Philosophy, my dear madam, is
something it takes all one's life to ac
quire. She What, then, is the use in acquir
ing it?
"The supreme satisfaction of know
ing that one's whole life has been a
mistake." Life.
Blame It on the Moon.
"The moon exercises a marked Influ
ence on commerce, astronomers say."
"Oh, yes; whenever a man walks with
a girl on moonlight nights he buys her
a lot of caramels and other stuff."
Chicago Record.
Sarcasm.
"Oi burnt me band terribly bad."
"How did yez do it?"
"Sure and Oi put me hand in th'
wather to see if it was bilin'."
"And was it?"
"No, frazin'."
An Injustice.
"The fact that you were disguised
makes the case against you very dark,"
said the magistrate to the prisoner.
"Your honor," replied the prisoner,
courteously, "you do me an Injustice.
I was not in disguise. I was merely
traveling incog.
Pittsburg Chronicle-
Telegraph
Reconsidered.
He You need not fear. I shall do
nothing desperate just because you
have refused me.
"Then, darling, I repent. It was only
the thought that you might do some
thing romantic that made me refuse
you." Life.
Intervals in an Exciting Life.
"Ma, when I get big I'm goin' 'way
off to be a pirate."
" A Ma L ,.1 ,1.
Voo . , . T,
' "V "" -". "
, come nome at ght to sleep." Chicago
ntteooru.
An Admirer of Honesty.
"Yes, sir," said Farmer Corntossel,
"If there's anything I ho like an' ad
mire, it's an honest man. An' that's
why I'm so proud of our new neighbor
down the road a piece. Ef there ever
was an honest man he's one."
"Are you sure he's honest?"
"Certainly; one of these frank, gener
ous, sincere kind."
"How do you know?"
"Traded horses with him day before
yesterday, an' I reckon I got at least
ixty dollars the best of him."
Washington Star.
The Fickle Thermometer.
..Here) yonng ladyi 1ve ,hnlng back
mB thermometer you sold me."
what's the matter with it?"
it am't reliable. One time ye look
., It it savs tn!n nrt th Hm
jt 8ayg another." " -
,
Jnst Like tlier Men.
She Which would you' rather marry
the prettiest woman in the world or
the homeliest?
He The prettiest, of course. Why do
you ask?
She Merely to find out if you weren't
Just like all the other men. Detroit
Free Press.
His Views.
Jack Bachelor (engaged) Of course,
I realize that matrimony is a very im
portant step, and all that!
Ned Newly wed (hoarsely) Step?
Great Scott, man! It's a whole flight
of steps and something to fall over on
every step! Puck.
No Limit. '
"I understand that you are a distant
relative of the wealthy Goldmais."
"Yes."
"How distent?"
"As distant as they can keep me."
Philadelphia Record.
Favorable Chances.
Rudolph If I should ask old Bullions
for his daughter's hand what do you
tlllnt of my chances?
Harold Very fair. You have youth,
health and a good constitution and
hould pull through with careful nurs-
mg. I'uck.
Many Lines .There.
Telllt To be successful in business a
man must confine himself to one line.
Askit What if he is a palmist? Bal
timore American.
Woman's Rights.
Stox Do you believe In women hav
ing the same rights as men?
i Stuggs Yes, I do. There was one
stood in front of where I sat In a car
to - day and tramped all over my fefct,
and if she'd been a man I would have
hit her one. sure. Detroit Free Press.
Trnst Worthy.
"Is he a trustworthy patriot?" asked
the earnest citizen.
"I should say so," answered Senator
Sorghum. "A man that can make mon
ey as brilliantly as he can is worthy of
all the trusts he is able to control."
Washington Star.
Worth Remembering.
"It is the man at the top of the ladder
who can reach things," remarked . the
haughty representative of a noble fam
ily. "True," remarked the sarcastic man
in homespun, "but it is the man at the
bottom who can upset the ladder."
Chicago Evening Post.
What Constitnted the Insult.
"What did you strike this' man for?"
asked the magistrate.
"He called me 'Reuben,' " answered
the shock-headed individual whom the
police had brought in.
"What is your name, anyhow?" '
"Reuben, your honor but he didn't
know it" Chicago Tribune.
Just Her Idea.
Wiggles They say that a man and
his wife grow to look like each other
arter they have lived together for a
long time.
Mrs. Wiggles Do they? That's lucky
for the men, now, isn't- it? Somerville
Journal.
He Had It.
"The fact is," said the fat man, "I
married because I was lonely as much
as for any other reason. To put it
tersely, I married for sympathy."
"Well," said the lean man, "you have
mine." New York World.
Wing Repartee.
The Easy Mark She said she had
'other fish to fry.' I wonder if she in-
sinuated that I was a fish?
The Soubrette Impossible
All lob-
sters are crustaceous. Chicago News
Happy Retort.
"Now, don't gimme any song about
misfortune an' wantin' to be a hard
worker n all that," said the hard-faced
lady. "I can see right through you."
"Gee!" said Dismal Dawson. "I
knowed I ain't had nothin' to eat for
t Ininn In-,- r I . .-it- T Ji JU t t . 1 . . I
three days, but I didn't know it had
thinned me down like that." Indian
apolis Press.
Wisdom of Solomon.
Teacher Who was the wisest man ?
Little Boy Solomon.
Teacher Give an example of his wis
dom. Little Girl He had 600 wives. De
troit Free Press.
A Compromise.
9
Parson Why, Johnnie, I'm sorry to
see you stealing. I shall report the
matter to your father.
Johnnie I'm sorry, too, parson, but
now I'm caught I'll divide with ye, if
ye won't tell dad. Come now, what do
ye say?
In the Wrona Clans.
"Mrs. Pheedem's boarders seem to be
nearly all students who belong to the
normal class."
"Yes, but she tells me that their appe
tites are abnormal."
Looking for Bargains.
'Mrs. Bargainhunter seems to be
dreadfully worried about the health of
her children."
'Why, they looked to me exception
ally strong and well."
'Yes; that's what worries her. A cut-
rate drugstore has just opened in the
neighborhood, and she's crazy for an
excuse fb see what kind of bargains
they have." Chicago Times-Herald.
A Congenial Fellow.
Blobbs What a companionable
young fellow young Bjones is.
Slobbs Yes; he frankly acknowl-
edges that he doesn't know anything
about politics, religion or golf. Phila
delphia Record.
Circumstances A ter Cases.
She I like him because he's so ex
travagant. Her Aunt That isn't the best possi
ble quality in a husband.
She Of course not! I'm not going to
marry him! Puck.
What's in a Name?
Mrs. Waggles Do you know
this is called a golf hat?
why
Waggles Yes, my dear. It Is be
cause people who play golf don't wear
them. Judge.
Jealous Beauties.
Rob What does that mean? Both of
those pretty girls cut you dead just
then.
Roy Alas! yes. I made a stupid
mistake. I told Lily she was as sweet
as a rose, and Rose that she made me
think of a lily. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Homeric.
The following very little classic
comes from Cornhill:
A few years since two gentlemen,
each bearing the surname of Homer,
not an unusual one In Dorset, contest
ed a county division, and at a public !
meeting one of them, feeling suddenly
unwell, had to retire, when a'local hu
morist, on . his opponent's side, re
marked: "Homer's Odd, I see."
"Homer's 111, I add!" promptly re
joined an adherent.
The Open Door.
The Empress Dowager trembled with
rage.
"Shut the door!" she shrieked, be
stowing a terrible look upon the Chris
tian powers. "Don't you see you're let
ting in about a million flies ?"
Her majesty's strenuous resistance to
the inevitable is thus shown to proceed
upon the promptings of her basic fem
ininity, and is hereupon a mystery no
longer. Detroit Journal.
To believe that a task is lmpossiblr
is to make it so.
THE POINT OF VIEW.
Things Appear Differently to Different
Kjes.
One of the essential things for one
that would influence others is the abil-
lty to see things as they look to those
whom he addresses. A lack of this
ability has been responsible for the
failure of many persons that would
j otherwise have been
successful as
teachers, missionaries, lawyers before
juries, and even orators and statesmen.
Striking illustrations of the different
aspects things wear in the eyes of dif
ferent people are constantly coming to
light.
A party of American travelers, jour
neying leisurely up the Nile, expressed
a desire to celebrate Washington's
j birthday in some appropriate manner.
I liieir cniet accordingly prepared a
great frosted cake, upon which he ex
ecuted in confectionery a representa
tion of George Washington, after hav
ing familiarized himself with the life
and achievements of his subject
As represented in sugar, Washington
wore a turban on his head and a great
sash across his braast; he was smok-
j ing a loDg pipe, and before him some
dancing girls were performing. This
j was the way the greatness of George
; Washington looked to the Arab chef.
In China, that land of strange con-
trasts, many amusing instances of a
j similar kind may be found. "Pilgrim's
I Progress," as recently translated and
I illustrated by native artists, shpws
j Christian with a long pigtail, the dun
geon of Giant Despair as the familiar
wooden cage of Chinese criminals,
I wniie the angels are arrayed in the
; latest productions of Pekin dressmak
ers.
A Chinese publication describes
1 Americans as "living for months with-
out eating a mouthful of rice," and nev-
er enjoying themselves "by sitting
quietfy on their ancestors' graves'
but, instead, jumping around and kick
ing a ball as if paid for It.
riow does this thing look to the
Turk, the Chinaman, the Boer, the
Englishman, the northerner, the south
erner is the question that we should
answer, in any controversy, before be-
J coming too sure of our ition
1 . "
All the world does not look through
the same spectacles. St. Ipuis Star.
HOW THEY TRADE IN CHINA.
Americana Won d Be Exasperated by
Such Absurd Method-.
When a man or a woman goes Into a
shop in China a clerk, with much cere
mony, Drings tragrant tea, which is
served in tine style. The compliments
of the season are exchanged, there are
talks about the weather in fact, every
kind of evasion is employed to keep
away from the real reason of the visit
which is to buy something. The pro
prietor solemnly watches these pro
ceedings from afar. The style of com
pliment is of this order: "In what ce
lestial country did your exalted excel
lence purchase the superfine garments
upon which I feast my eyes? Surely
in no miserable and unworthy land like
our own?" When the tea and talk are
exhausted the little pipe bearer, who al
ways attends his master or mistress
out of doors, lights a pipe for his em
ployer. There are only a few whiffs
in each pipeful, so the process has to be
frequently repeated.
Then business begins. The shopper
asks the price of the required article
and makes an offer that Is much lower.
This is promptly refused in language
that is courteous and polite beyond de
scription. Then the possible purchaser
departs with great dignity and ele
gance. When a bargain is completed
the purchaser never pays It himself.
The chief steward is called, notified
that the article has been accepted, and
when the bill comes in the "boy" settles
it, giving an acocunt quarterly to his
master of money disbursed for the
household. Money as we have it Is un
known in China. There are no silver
dollars, no fractions of dollars, as quar
ters and 10-cent pieces, no paper bank
notes. There is a coin called "cash'
with a hole punched in the middle that
is used for small transactions. "Cash"
can. be strung like beads on a string. It
takes 100 pieces to equal the value of
one standard cent Gold is only used
for ornaments in China, never for cur
rent coin.
A Famous Vine.
Everybody has heard of the famous
j grapevine now one hundred and thirty-
two years old at Hampton Court. Its
roots are popularly supposed to extend
as far as and under the Thames, which
is nearly four hundred yards away. A
visitor was actually heard the other
day telling his friends quite seriously
that the roots of the vine reached as
far as Ditton, on the other side of the
river, a mile or more away, and the
same person asserted that the annual
crop consisted of three thousand
bunches of grapes. As a matter of
fact, the roots of the vine have been
found at a distance of about twenty-
five yards from the main stem, and, al
though every year the vine "shows'
about three thousand bunches, only
twelve hundred are allowed to remain.
Domestic Arts.
In France, Germany, Belgium and
Holland girls are drilled from the era
die in every branch of the domestic
arts. A French or German maid-of-all
work is a household treasure just be
cause she has been taught her busi
ness. Cooking and housework do not
come naturally. We don't expect a
carpenter or plumber to learn-bis trade
by instinct, but we expect miracles in
our kitchens, and we ask Ann to per
form duties she has never been taugiit.
There is plenty of capacity
in the
working girl, but she needs to be help
ed and technically trained in domestic
arts and crafts.
Child Workers in Europe.
Switzerland allows no child under 14
vears to become a wage earner, the age
it which, under the English factory
!aw, he ceases to be a child and is rank
ed as a "young person." English boys
of 12 years of age may still work In
the mines for fifty-four hours a week,
which is longer than the hours for men
in the mines of Northumberland and
Durham, England.
We imagine that disappointment in
a love affair is featherweight grief
compared with putting up with a cross
husband who was defeated at an elec
tion. It is the want of motive that makes
life dreary.
NEW RECIPE FOR 80UP.
Newark Man Discovers How I tall mm
Live So Cheap y.
The cheap way in which Italian la-
borers, pushcart men and others of that
class live has very much impressed a
resident of Brooklyn, whose fad it has
been recently to poke around in odd
places in this city and its vicinity, says
the New York Times.
"I was in Newark a week or two
ago," said he, "when a friend of mine
pointed out a number of Italians who
were buying small baskets of tomatoes
in large quantities. They cost 15 cents
each. I expressed wonder at what they
- were going to do with so many, where-
upon my friend replied that he would
show me. He led me to the backyard
of a house, where a number of Italians
live, and there I found the baskets piled
high. Near by was a receptacle which
looked like a section of a beer vat. It
had been sawed in two. The Italians
who were handling the tomatoes cut
them up into small pieces and threw
them into the vat. Then they took
crushers made from blocks of wood,
with handles, and pounded those toma
toes into a pulp.
"My curiosity increased with every
plunge of the crushers and the Italians
looked at me with quiet amusement
Presently they stirred some cornmeal
In the mass and then some flour until
the stuff became a pulp. The next step
was to throw this on what bakers
would call a molding trough and knead
it, adding enough flour to make it a
stiff pulp. The less said about the state
of their hands the better, but that is a
trivial matter. Then the mixture was
molded into little pats about the size
of a fishcake. These were placed on
boards and taken to various roofs to
dry. In a short time they became as
hard as brickbats and can be used as
missiles in case of emergency.
What do you do with those things?"
I asked one of the Italians.
What-a we do?' he answered. 'We
mak'-a da summer food 'n da winter
food.
"Each cake, I learned after much
questioning, will make enough soup for
six men. This, with a little black
bread, constitutes a meal for many of
those fellows. One can see how cheap
ly they can live and still eat food that
is quite nutritious. These cakes are
peddled to their fellow countrymen by
some of the Italians and sold at a ridic
ulously small price. When I had de
parted from that backyards ter a two
hours' investigation the saying came
to me with greater force than ever that
'one-half the world does not know how
the other half lives.' "
FREAKS IN LUNCH ORDERS.
Waiter Calls Attention to the Infita-
tive Habit Among Patrons.
One of the amusing things to be no
ticed at the lunch counters is the habit
of imitation. If the man on the end
studies the bill of fare and then orders
a ham sandwich, pumpkin pie, .i '1 a
glass of milk, all his neighbors are like
ly to duplicate his order and soon there
will be a whqle row eating exactly the
same things. Sometimes this similar
ity of appetite causes serious embar
rassment. This is invariably the case
if the occupants of the high chairs shift
about the same time and the men on the
end have numerous chances to set ex
amples for twenty or thirty patrons.
Then the pumpkin pie or sandwiches
are sure to give out before the noon
hour is past.
"It's funny how lazy people are," said
one of the waiters at a down-town
lunch place. "There are lots of men
who won't look at a bill of fare and
they just stare over the counter and
ask for anything that comes into their
heads, if they don't happen to see an
other fellow eating just what they
want If we have something sort of
out of the ordinary, like fried oysters,
something that can be written on the
card in ink so it will make a good im
pression on the public, it's a losing in
vestment if the fellow on the end near
the door happens to pick it out. Then
every one that passes him sees the oys
ters and soon there is a regular chorus
of yells of oysters. There ain't a pa
tron that wants corn beef hash or cold
tongue.
"People are just like sheep or geese.
They like to follow a leader if it's in
nothing but eating. I've seen big
worded articles about thoughts and
ideas being catching or contagious. Any
philosopher who has a chance to wait
on a lunch counter would believe in
that there theory. Ideas is as catch
ing as the measles and don't you for
get it"
A Tame Gull.
Vincent S. Stevens, in the Christian
Advocate, says that birds do not be-
come tame nearly so readily as most
other animals, and then relates the
story of an exception which he noticed
when living in the coast country.
Looking over my neighbor's fence one
day, I was surprised to see on his door
step these queer companions: A beauti
ful white sea gull and my neighbor's
pet cat sitting quietly together.
Becoming interested, I jumped the
fence, and asked Jones about his feath
ered pet. He told me that some boys
had shot the gull a few days before
and broken its wing, and as they were
passing his house he noticed the poor
suffering thing and bought it. He
bandaged the broken wig, and the
gull, seeming to understand his kind
intention, became quite tame and
nestled Its pretty head against his
hand.
Jones entertained me by showing how
the gull usually took its meals. Bring
ing a plate of oysters and a fork, he
called: "Goosey, goosey, goosey!" and
the bird came running to him. Then
he held out an oyster on the fork, and
the gull seized it quickly with its yel
low bill and ate it as demurely as if
oysters had been served to it In this
way aR its days.
The oddest thing occurred one day
when my neighbor gave the gull some
small pieces of meat for dinner. He
placed the meat on the ground near the
gull, but the gull, espying a pan of wa
ter near by, took the meat piece by
piece, and walking over, dropped it into
the water. Then, true to its nature, it
began fishing for its dinner.
The World's Highest Chimney.
Antwerp has the highest chimney in
the world. It belongs to the Silver
Works Company and is 410 feet high.
The Interior diameter is 25 feet at the
base and 11 feet at the top.