PACIFIC COAST MINING NEWS
Vancouver Iron and Big Oregon Company are
the Current Talk This Week.
VANCOUVER IRON PROPERTY.
Pennsylvania Men Said to Be Buying
for Development.
Seattle, July 16. The Postlntelli
gencer states that managers of the
McKeesport iron works, in Pennsyl
vania, have been visiting the Pacific
coast, and have secured sites- for new
iron works at Port Angeles, after an
unsuccessful attempt to locate in Vic
toria, B. C. The belief is expressed
that the iron deposits of Vancouver
island have attracted the attention of
these iron men ami that raw iron will
be taken from Barclay sound, and else
where in the island, down to Port An
geles for working. It is known that
the McKeesport iron men have secured
options on three properties in the Barc
lay sound country, namely the Ander
son Company, another owned by Wil
son, Braden, Irving and others, and a
third the property of Thompson, Bra
den, Logan and Kains. An option has
been secured on these claims until the
end of the year, and before the begin
ning of next month between 400 and
500 men will be taken up to Barclay
sound to exploit its mineral wealth.
If development proves that these
properties are at all equal their prom
ise, it will mean much for Vancouver
island and for Victoria. The proper
ties in question run about 72 per cent
in pig iron, a very high per centage,
and one which envoked enthusiastic
expressions from the visiting magnates.
Prom these the raw material for the
Port Angeles foundries will be drawn.
The Galena, one of the promising
claims on the Gordon river, passed re
cently under bond to a number of East
ern capitalists. Active work will com
mence on this mine on August 1 and
will be continued until the end of the
year. A large sum is involved in this
transaction should it go through.
WILL WORK THE CLAIM.
Owners Want a Showing; Made In the
Hard Cash.
Greenood, B. C, July 16. The own
ers have bonded the Hard Cash mineral
claim for $20,000 to John Kodgers.
The bond is a working one, and so
much work must be made before the
first payment is made. The Hard Cash
ii a fractional claim, containing 28
acres, adjoining the Golden Crown,
Winnipeg and the J. and R. The lat
ter claim is owned by John Rodgers,
and he recently uncovered a ledge on
the property near the Hard Cash line.
He, therefore, secured the Haid Cash
that both claims might be worked to
gether.
PACIFIC COAST WHEAT SHIP
MENTS. Thirty-five Million Bushels Sent From
Portland, San Francisco, Seat
tle and Tacoina.
Portland, July 16. The Oregonian
publishes tables showing the wheat
shipments from the four leading coast
cities for the season of 1899-1900, as
follows:
Prom Portland 94 cargoes, 14,239,
064 bushels.
From San Francisco 127 cargoes,
13,534.635 bushels.
Fiom Seattle and Tucoma 35 car
goes, 7,799,092 bushels.
rosslando'reshipments.
Six Months of This Tea- Equal to All
of Last.
' Kossland, B. C, July 16. Ore ship
ments from this district for the Hist
half of 1900 were nearly equal to those
of the whole year 1897, when the fig
ures were 72,840 tons. The total for
the past six months is 71,235 tons.
The Nickel Plate has been opened to
the 600-foot level, is fully developed
by drifts, etc., to the 200-foot level,
and partially developed to the 4 0.0-foot
level. Arrangements have been made
to ship 250 tons of ore per day from
the Nickel Plate.
RICH MOUNTAIN TUNNEL.
Twenty-three Times Cold Has Been
Struck at Palmer.
Loom is, Wash., July 16. In the
Palmer mountain tunnel the last 30
feet driven has gone through a forma
tion highly mineralized, giving assays
each day running from $3.74 to $37 in
gold. The last shot at the face broke
into a well defined ledge, showing
much blue quartz full of mineral which
may prove one of the most important
in the history of the tunnel. This
ledge is in a different formation from
that of the other 22 and the good values
pieceeding tha cuttings of the footwall
make the crossing and testing of this
23d vein a matter of special interest.
ENORMOUS ANACONDA PLANT
New Machinery Weighs Jfearly Two
Million Pounds.
Anaconda, Mont., July 16. New
machinery weighing 1,650,000 pounds
is being installed in the concentrating
plant of the Anaconda Mining Com
pany here. The company is using 24
Huntington mills five feet in diameter,
of the latest pattern; 24 sets of crush
ing rolls, 40 inches in diameter by 16
inch face, with forged steel shells;
eight Blake crushers, 24x12 inches, and
16 Blake crushers 15x5 inches.
GOOD MONTANA MINE.
Copper and Gold Produced at the Cop
per Cliff.
Missoula, July 16. Visitors in the
cify from the Copper Cliff mine report
the shaft down 200 feet and the ore
running high grade. The owners ex
pect to drift at this depth and find bet
ter ore. There is on the dump about
$35,000 worth of ore, running in both
gold and copper.
IDAHO MINING COMPANIES.
Wallace Reports Two Recently Incor
porated, Moderately Stocked.
Wallace,. Idaho, July 16. The Nov
elty Mining & Milling Company, limit
ed, has filed articles of incorporation.
Its principal place of business is Wal
lace, and its capital stock of $20,000
is divided into 200,000 shares.
The Capitol Mining & Milling Com
pany has filed articles of incorporation.
Wallace is the principal place of busi
ness, and the capital stock of $100,000
is divided into 1,000,000 shares.
BIG OREGON COMPANY.
Mines in the Bonanza District to Be
Developed.
Baker City, Ore., July 16. The
Keystone, Belle and Gold Boy Consoli-
dated Mining Company has been ineor-
po rated with a capital stock of $2,000,
', 000. The president of the company is
Albert Geiser, of Bonanza fame; vice
i president, Clark Tabor, of the Red Boy;
( treasurer, J. T. Donnelly, cashier of
i the First National bank; secretary,
Eugene Sperry; manager, F. J. Conroy;
consulting engineer, Captain C. H.
Thompson.
The property is located in the Bo
nanza district, and is considered to be
a very rich and promising mine. It is
the intention of the company to push
development work and get a mill on
the property at once.
NEXT MINING CONGRESS.
Much Good May Result From the Boise
Meeting In 1901.
Spokane, July 16. In view of the
fact that the next meeting of the In
; ternational Alining Congress will meet
in Boise, Idaho, in July, 1901, some of
the events that took place last mouth
in the Milwaukee meeting will be in
teresting to Northwestern mining men,
says the Spokesman-Review.
The objects aimed at by the Milwau
kee meeting were:
First A permanent organization.
I Second A revision of the national
j mining laws, with a view of the better
! protection of claimants and owners of
mineral lands.
Third A mineral exhibit.
Fourth To obtain and disseminate
information regarding improvements
! and inventions of labor saving machin
1 eiy and other mining appliances.
The permanent organization consisted
of 416 registered delegates representing
23 different states.
Mineral exhibits were displayed by
, Alaska, Colorado, Wisconsin, New
1 Mexico, Montana, Arizona, Canada,
! Idaho, Washington and Oregon.
Gold Mining; in British Columbia.
The first authenticated discovery ol
gold in British Columbia, according to
Dr. G. M. Dawson, occurred at Mitch
ell or Gold Harbor, on the west coast
of Queen Charlotte island, in 1851, a
nugget weighing several ounces having
been accidentally picked up by an
Indian woman on the seashore. This
nugget was brought to Fort Simpson,
and, coming into the possession of the
officer in charge of the Hudson Bay
Company '8 post at that place, was for
warded by him to the company's head
quarters at Victoria. An expedition
was at once fitted out, and, proceeding
to the spot, succeeded in locating a
quartz vein seven inches wide, "report
ed to contain 25 per cent gold in some
places." The find was worked for
some months and then abandoned, the
narrow vein entirely giving out; no
other indications of mineral were ever
found on the island, notwithstanding
that this extraordinary little seam ol
quartz had yielded in a few weeks it
was worked a value of $20,000 on the
word of one authority, or $75,000 on
that of another. About the same time
coal, which had been discovered on
Vancouver island as far back as 1835,
began to be mined in earnest at Nanai
mb. Suit Over Mining Claims.
Vancouver, Wash., July 16. The
oase of Adolph Hooper and Victor Carl
son against J. G. Copely and U. M.
Lauman was on trial before a special
jury, called for this case, in the super
ior court. Th case relates to the
rights of the parties to certain mining
claims in the St. Helens mining dis
trict, in Skamania county. The suit
was first brought in Lewis county, and
was transferred to Skamania county,
where the property in controversy is
located. The trial wasv held in this
county to suit the convenience of the
parties to the action. Since the com
mencement of the action, the defend
ant, J. G. Copley, died, and Charles
: W. Thompson, administrator of his es
! tate, was substituted as a party defend -I
ant.
New Oregon Mining- Companies.
The Elk Creek Gold Mining Com
pany, city of Union, $50,000.
I The Lillian Gold Mining and Invest
1 ment Company, Baker City, $500,000.
Keystone, Belle and Gold Boy Con
! soli, la ted Mining Company, Baker Citv,
$2,000,000.
New Washington Mining Companiet.
Gold Ledge Consolidated Mining &
Milling Company, Spokane, $100,000.
Sacramento Gold Mining Company,
Spokane, $100,000.
Pilgrim Gold Mining & Milling
Company, Davenport, $100,000.
Golden Era Mining Company, Col
ville, $75,000. i
Consolidated Gold Mining Company,
Republic, $1,500,000.
Myitle Mining & Milling Company,
Tacoma, $500,000.
Bald Mountain Mining Company,
Clear Lake, $1,000,000.
Galena King Mining & Milling Com
pany, Republic, $75,000.
The Plainvew, Or., creameiy turned
out 10,000 pounds of butter the past
month.
The city treasurer of Fairhaven,
Wash., has just called in $5,300 of
warrants.
The necessary acreage is pledged to
secure a starch factory at Imbler, in
Union county.
Spokane lawyers have agieed to close
their offices at noon each Saturday dur-
ing July and August.
The Stay ton, Or., creamery paid 17
cents for butter fat its first month, and
I 18 cents last month.
Port Townsend's school directors
have re-established the office of city
superintendent of schools.
A young man named Arthur Dunn
; lost his right leg at Starbuck, Wash.,
on tne ytn by attempting to board a
moving train.
In every home yon will find at least
a half dozen skin lotions and toilet
articles on a girl's dressing table, and
a boy with hands chapped and bleed
ding.
THE MIDSUMMER TRADE.
Improvement of Tone, Rather Than of
Demand.
Bradstreet's says: While trade is
still only of mid-summer volume, the
beginnings of improvement in demands
are apparantly becoming visible. The
improvement is still one of tone, rather
than of demand, but with a yield of
540,000,000 bushels of wheat, a next
to record breaking yield of corn, and a
very large proportion of oats, '.the West
ern crop situation contains many en
couraging features. The Southern, cot
ton crop has undoubtedly suffered, and
conditions are unprecedentedly low
for this season of the year, but the
acreage planted was a large one, and
prices are so much higher that a satis
factory financial return is confidently
looked for.
The effort of the big iron and steel
concerns to control prices, if really
made, has proven abortive, and another
wholesale slashing of quotations is to
be reported this week.
The industriasituation is rather bet
ter as a result of agreements upon wages
by a number of iron and steel manu
facturing concerns and their employes.
Lower prices for lumber are appar
ently inducing more activity in build
ing, though how much is due to this or
how mnch to the settlement of labor
disturbances is hard to measure.
Wheat, including flour, shipments
for the week agjwegate 2,829.910 bush
els, against 3,018,832 bushels last
week.
Business failures in the United States
number 221 as compared with 146 last
week.
Business failures in the Dominion of
Canada number 22 as compared with
25 last week.
Ninety persons were made seriously
ill at Rheine, Westphalia, Germany,
owing to the eating of diseased horse
flesh. PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Seattle Markets.
Onions, new, 1 c.
Lettuce, hot house, $1 per crate.
Potatoes, new. lc.
Beets, per sack, 85c$l.
Turnips, per sack, 75c.
Carrots, per sack, $1.00
Parsnips, per sack, 50 75c.
Cauliflower, native, 75c.
Cucu m bers 50 60c.
Cabbage, native and California,
$1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds.
Tomatoes $1.25.
Butter Creamery, 23c; Eastern 22c;
dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 1517c pound.
Eggs 24c.
Cheese 12c.
Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c;
spring, $3.50.
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00
12.00; choice Eastern Washington
timothy, $19.00.
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
$20.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.50;
blended straights, $3.25; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat
flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00;
shorts, per ton, $14.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, price 7c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 9
11c.
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13 34;
breakfast bacon, 12c; dry salt sides,
8c.
Portland Market.
Wheat Walla Walla. 55 56c;
Valley, 56c; Bluestem, 59c per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $3.20; graham,
$2.70; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 35c; choice
gray, 33c per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $14.00 15.00;
brewing, $16.00 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $12.50 ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $13; chop, $14 per
ton.
Hay Timothy, $1011; clover,$7a
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 35 40c;
store, 25c.
Eggs-r-174c per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c.
Young America, 14c; new cheese 10
per pound.
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.00C
3.50 per dozen; hens, $4.50; spring
$2.003.50; geese, $4.005.00 for oil
$4.506.50; ducks, $3.004.00 pei
dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c pei
pound.
Potatoes 40 50c per sack; sweets.
22Mc per pounu.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c;
per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab
bage, lc per pound; parsnips, $1;
onions, 1 '40 per pound; carrots, $1.
Hops 2 8c per pound.
Wool Valley, 15 16c per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 25
per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 3 '34c; dressed mutton, 7
7)sc per pound; lambs, 52c.
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
$5.00 6.50 per 100 pounds,
BeefGross, top steers, $4.00 4. 60;
cows, $3.50 4.00; dressed beef, 62
7?io per pound.
Veal Large, 67Kc; small, 8
8c per pound.
San Franeisco Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 13 15c pei
pound; Eastern Oregon, 10- 15c; Val
ley, 1820c: Northern, 1012c.
Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c pel
pound.
Butter Fancy creamery 18 19c;
do seconds, 18 );; fancy dairy,
17c; do seconds, 15 16 e per pound.
Eggs Store, 15c; fancy ranch,
18c.
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
20.00; bran, $12.5013.50.
Hay Wheat $6.5010; wheat and
oat $6.009.50; best barley $5.00
7.00; alfalfa, $5.00 6.00 per ton;
straw, 25 40c per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore
gon Bnrbanks, 80c 90; river Bur
banks, 3565c; new. 70c$1.25.
Citrus Frnit Oranges, Valencia,
$2.768.25; Mexican limes, $4.00
5.00; California lemons 75c$1.50;
do choice $1.76 2.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
3.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, 66o per
pound.
THE M HOLINESS PEOPLE.'
Eat and Sleep Under One Roof,
and the Gift of
Monndsville, W. Va., is the headquarters of the sect called "Holiness People."
They recently held a great religious feast. Many hundreds of the sect came from
all parts of the world. The church originated in Michigan in 1880, and the head
quarters were moved to Moundsville two years ago. They believe that God's
people are coming to unity; that this is a reformation of the Christian religion,
and that the true Christians of the world are being turned by God to this belief.
They believe in sanctification by faith and divine healing.
The congregations, called the "Church of the Living God" or "Holiness
People," are very economical. They wear no neckties or clothing of fashionable
design. The men all wear white shirts and celluloid collars, with bone collar but
tons, and no jewelry is worn. Everything is in communal style. They are all
quartered in the Trumpet Home. At this Home the single people have rooms of
their own and the .families have suites. There is but one kitchen and one dining
room. These people do not mingle with the outside world, and apparently are
a very happy and contented set. They have a publishing house of their own, and
a paper called the Gospel Trumpet. No one working on this journal gets any
salary, as the motto of these people is that all persons need is "enough to eat and
their clothing."
TUNNEL DISEASE.
Curious Affliction of Those Who Delve
in Mines and Tnnnels.
There is a disease which attacks the
laborers in tunnels and mines. It is as
old as Egypt, but only within this cen
tury has it been placed to a specific
parasite. It is a painful and danger
ous disease, often resulting in death.
A monograph on the subject of this
malady, called ankylostomiasis, has
just appeared, and, coming as it does
from Hugo F. Goldman, M. D., the of
ficial physician in the coal mines of
Brennberg, near Oldenburg, Germany,
it carries great weight, for it Is based
upon years of experience and practical
treatment of this dread disease.
It attacks not only men but animals,
especially the horses or mules used in
the building of tunnels and the opera
tion of mines. It is a disease caught by
ir .ection, like typhoid or cholera. It
may be contracted in the air or by con
tact with the" germs, which are really
the eggs of the little worm, or ankylos
toma, as it is called. This name means
"hooked mouth," and refers to the six
hooked teeth around the mouth of the
parasite by which it clings to the inte
rior of the human intestine. It Is found
not only in the duodenum, but also in
the smaller intestines, where it grows
and flourishes.
Male and female oan be distinguished
among these parasites, the females be
ing larger and more numerous than the
males. The males grow to the length
of .3937 inch, and the female is on an
average half as long again. They can
be seen with the naked eye. This ani
mal has neither breathing apparatus
nor circulatory system, and varies in
color from grayish white to brown and
even blood red, according to the condi
tion of the person in whom it is found.
The female lays a large number of eggs
In the human Intestines, from which
they spread the disease infinitely under
proper conditions. T4ie parasite and
the egg develop best In a temperature
between 65 and 85 degrees Fahren
heit. The air and surrounding medium
should be moist. It Is on account of
the moisture and heat to he found in
mines and tunnels thnt this parasite
develops so perfectly among the toll
ers in these places. Darkness la also
necessary, sunlight killing these ani
malculae almost instantly.
Ankylostomiasis originated In the
Orient. It has been long established in
Egypt, but has been mistakenly called
Egyptian chlorosis, or aenemia, and
was treated as mere poverty of the
blood in red corpuscles. It passed over
from Kcvut to Italv. where it was not
I really understood until Dubini found
. I ,.i fM 1QQQ
liie yaiaDiic in muo,
When the St. Gothard tunnel was
built in the '70s. the disease spread
throughout central Europe, especially
In Switzerland. The further spread
ing of the ankylostoma to the mines of
Europe was quick to follow. When the
men were first attacked in the St Got
hard tunnel it was thought that a new
disease, the "tunnel disease," had been
found, but it was nothing other than
the ankylostoma, as was proved by
I'erroncito, when he found no less than
1,500 of these parasites in the duode
num of a man who had died of "tun
n?l disease."
The mode of Infection is very ap-
i parent The men while at work often
carry their hands to their mouths, or
eat their food in the tunnels or mines,
and in this way the parasite or its eggs
enter through the mouth, pass on into
the system and find a permanent home
In the intestines, to the walls of which
they cling with all six teeth, feeding
on the blood of the unfortunate person
attacked.
Use of Soap.
British critics of the Boers are fond
of asserting that the sturdy Transvaal
era use little soap. This may be true
Believe in Sanctificatlon by Faitb
Divine Mealing.
or not. Even if true, there is plenty
of precedent The Japanese, the most
cleanly people in the world, rarely use
soap. The Russians use vapor baths for
cleanliness' sake. Rough inside cloth
ing cleanses the skin. There are doc
tors who have cured skin diseases by
insisting upon their delicate patients
abandoning silk underwear and using
very coarse stuff instead.
Napoleon, whose hands were good to
model and beautifully white, used bran
and lemon juice, and no soap, unless to
shave. In England, on account of coal
smoke and smut, soap is more needed
than in countries with clear air. Many
fashionable ladies of to-day, who
would be much offended if they were
called barbarous or uncivilized, never
use soap. They grease themselves with
vaseline and such stuff and carefully
rub it all off again. San Francisco
Call.
Stole the Bridegroom.
-A young man In a convivial party at
a Broad street hotel told the following
story: "I had a good time at a wedding
last week. It was the wedding of a
friend of mine, and I and some of the
boys played a good joke on him, and
he didn't get mad either. The joke was
to steal him. Yes, right after the cere
mony we grabbed him up, banged him
into a cab, and then drove him out six
teen miles into the country, where we
locked him up in a barn and kept him
there three days. The bride waited for
him in a royal suite of rooms in an As
bury Park hotel. We had persuaded
her to travel down alone, promising her
the groom would arrive at any minute.
Every evening, after our day's work
was done, we trotted out into the coun
try to see the groom, with baskets of
food and liquid. Pretty good-natured
about it the duffer was, too, I tell you,
though, those three days were different
slightly from what he and the girl had
been counting on." Philadelphia Rec
ord. Not Law but Gospel.
Clergymen of the past often had
traits of individuality which are per
haps not so common at the present day.
Archbishop Sumner was once holding
a confirmation In an English parish
church, when he observed that a num
ber of people were standing in the
aisles, although several pews were
empty. He stopped the service, and
asked the reason.
"The pews are private property," an
swered a man, "and they're shut up."
"There can be no such thing," said
the bishop, authoritatively. "Let the
pews be opened."
"We can't open 'em!" shouted some
one. "There're locked."
"Is there a locksmith here?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Very well; let him remove the locks.
A hymn shall be sung meanwhile."
So the locks were removed, the audi
ence seated itself, and the confirmation
went on. Youth's companion.
Water at Hamburg.
One of the tasks of the Hamburg
Hygienic institute is to make frequent
examinations of the water of the river
Elbe to see if it contains the germs of
cholera, diphtheria, or other Infectious
diseases. Another is to examine the
water of the wells, of which there still
are 2,000 In the city.
After a woman has been married two
years, she should give up trying to get
her husband to say voluntarily that he
is fond of her.
The Blonde I wish I could play the
piano, awfully. The Brunette Why,
you can. New York World.
A good boy may not become a hand
some man, but a handsome bonnet al
ways becomes a good woman.
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS
Pleasant Incidents Occurring: the
World Over Saying that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Xoung Funny Selec
tion that You WU1 Enjoy.
Maud I don't know whether Charley
really loves me or not.
Her brother What did you glvu him
for a birthday present?
"A box of cigars."
"Did he smoke them?"
"Yes."
"Then you may be sure he loves you."
Stray Stories.
Too Strenuous.
"DIs is a mighty busy world," said
the philosophic hobo. "Dat ain't no
Joke," returned his companion. "It's
gittin' ter be harder work ter keep
from workln' dan it Is ter work." Phil
adelphia Record.
Bad Outlook for the Boy.
Policeman (examining broken win
dow) Begorra, but it's more sarious
thin Oi thought it was. It's broke on
both sides! Punch.
An Illuminating- Question.
He She must be from Chicago.
She What leads you to think so?
He I overheard him ask her how
long she had ever been single at one
time. The Smart Set.
Pro and Con.
"I tell you what," said the enthusi
ast, "the people who play golf have
about them a' certain individuality.
When you know that a man is a devo
tee of the game you can form a prompt
estimate of his mental caliber."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that!" replied
the other. "I know several who occa
sionally play and they're not fools, by
any means."
All in the Accent.
Shopper How much is that there
vase?
Dealer That's $1.00.
Second shopper (a moment later)
What is the price of this vawse?
Dealer That vawse, madam, is $5.
It will look splendid in a Louls-Qua-torze
cabinet.
Second shopper I'll take it
Happily Overfreighted.
"Why did that foreign actor make his
farewell speech sitting down?"
"Perhaps his pockets were so full of
money he couldn't stand up."
Prompt Irregularity.
"Is your new cook reliable?"
"Thoroughly so. When she says
breakfast will be ready at 7 o'clock
sharp we know we needn't get down
stairs until 8:15."
Keeping Hia Word.
"Emil, you said you'd make my mar
riage a heaven for me, and now you
won't even buy me a silk dress!"
"But, my dear, did you ever hear of
people wearing silk dresses in heaven?"
Das Klelne Wltzblatt
Hard to Find.
"Jemenenty!" exclaimed Farmer
Harlx, as he dropped his paper. "I
reckon thieves must be kind o' skeerce
down to the city."
"Neow, what in the name o' foodness
put sich an Idee Into your head, Josh'
way?" asked his better half.
"Some feller pnt an advertisement in
the paper for one," replied the old man,
"an', what's more, he offered $10 re
ward fer any information leadin' to the
dlskivery o' one."
The Mean Thing.
Miss A When I'm asked to sing I
don't say, "No, I can't sing," nor wait
to be coaxed, but I sit right down at the
piano and
Miss B Leave it to the company to
find It out for themselves.
Not Invited.
Daughter Shall we invite Dr. Blgfee
to the reception?
Mother I think we'd better not; he's
so absent-minded. He might charge it
In the bill. New York Weekly.
An Old Craze Modernised.
"Flossy has got a lovely button
Btring."
"A button string?"
"Yes; she's collecting photograph
buttons of ah the good-looking girls and
boys she knows."
A Cold and Selfish Nature.
Office Boy Please, sir, can I get offT
My granma's awful sick.
Employer No, Jerry, I'm going to tna
game myself.
Absorbed in Hia Own Labor Trouble.
"Well, our labor troubles seem to bo
winding up."
"Yes; my wife said last night that
we are all done but one bedroom and
the back hall."
Discouraging.
Wife You will never be a society
man, my dear. You are too heavy.
Husband But I thought I was sufll
ciently nonsensical and unintelligent at
the reception to-day.
Wife Ye-es, but you were so self
coudcious about It. The Smart Set.
There Are Others.
Weary Watklns I see by the papers
that the Prince of Wales is looked aftc'
by the rolice all the time.
Hungry Higglns Yes, an' he never
works, neither. I guess we ain't tu
only ones. Indianapolis Press.
Late in Life.
Bray I cut my wisdom teeth on a
void dollar.
Jay I cut mine on a gold brick.
Baltimore American.
Cannibalistic Courtesy.
King Umbaloolo (to newly arrived
missionary's wife) Ah, Mrs. Goodlelgh,
we are glad to see you. Though we
are far from the refining influences of
society, I assure you that there are
times when we are positively hungry
for a woman.
Like many of her sex, she lost her
head after this compliment Balti
more American.
Diplomacy.
Census Taker What Is your asje,
madam?
Mrs. Neighbors Did the woman next
door give her age?
Census Taker Certainly.
Mrs. Neighbors Well, I'm two yeart
younger than she is. Chicago News.
Never Changes.
Ida There goes "Circus" McCarthy."
May Why do you call him "Circus ?"
Ida No matter when you see him he
is always the same.
In the Restaurant.
Mrs. Crawfoot Hiram, you always
did have such a poor taste in regard to
dressing.
Mr. Crawfoot Oh, I dunno, Mandy,
I reckon I can tell the good old home
made catsup from this blamed Her
stuff.
Small Favors.
"I cannot tell you what pleasure yon
have given me by making me a birth
day present of these two vases! Every
time I saw them In the show window
of the ten-cent store I wished to pos
sess them!" Fliegende Blaetter.
One Rule.
"Do yaw undawstand football, bar
baw?" inquired the college youth.
"Well, when I shave you I generally
touch down," responded the knight of
the razor.
Backyard Botany.
"So you are experimenting In botany?
Well, Curtis, remember that 'what you
sow you shall also reap.' "
"Well, Tabler, that rests with your
neighbor's chickens."
Her Instrument.
"Does Miss Giddy play?" asked Prof.
Dalsegno of Mr. Hunker.
"Oh, yes. She's playing young Cal
lowhlll now."
The Same Thing.
"I'm sorry we haven't much of a din
ner," said Spatts to Bloobumper, whom
he had urged to stay for that meal.
"You ought to have dropped in lane
evening. We had a stunning dinner
then."
"Why, papa," chirped Sammy Spates,
"that's Just what you told Mr. Taddeils
at dinner yesterday."
For Resumption.
Tramp Gimme a dime, mister? .
Philanthropist (suspiciously) Yon' ve
been drinking, haven't you?
Tramp (meekly) Yes, sir, and I'm
broke. I want the dime to resume busi
ness with at the old stand."
Plenty of Elbow Room.
Ranchman's wife Drive over and
bring our daughter in. You'll have to
hurry, because supper will be ready iu
an hour.
Ranchman Where Is she?
Ranchman's wife She's swinging on
the front gate.
A Dream that Came Trne.
"Talking about dreams," said Mrs.
Smith, as we sat around the fire, says
the San Francisco Chronicle, "I once
had a very strange experience. I
dreamed that I was just stepping out
of my house for a walk, when a funeral
passed by. A man with a cap marked
nine and a red scar running across hia
forehead jumped from the hearse, and,,
approaching me, asked: 'Are you
ready?' 'No,' I replied, and with that
I awoke.
"A few months later I was stopping;
In Chicago. I was in the top floor of
one of the big houses and just about
to step into the elevator, when I re
membered another thing I wanted to
buy. I stopped and looked through my
notebook. 'Down!' exclaimed the ele
vator boy, and then asked me: 'Are
you ready?' 'No,' I answered and the
door closed.
"The next instant a great crash was
heard, and the occupants of the ele
vator were dashed to an untimely
death.
"The cap of the boy bore the num
ber nine and he had a red scar ru
uing across his brow."