PACIFIC COAST MINING NEWS Vancouver Iron and Big Oregon Company are the Current Talk This Week. VANCOUVER IRON PROPERTY. Pennsylvania Men Said to Be Buying for Development. Seattle, July 16. The Postlntelli gencer states that managers of the McKeesport iron works, in Pennsyl vania, have been visiting the Pacific coast, and have secured sites- for new iron works at Port Angeles, after an unsuccessful attempt to locate in Vic toria, B. C. The belief is expressed that the iron deposits of Vancouver island have attracted the attention of these iron men ami that raw iron will be taken from Barclay sound, and else where in the island, down to Port An geles for working. It is known that the McKeesport iron men have secured options on three properties in the Barc lay sound country, namely the Ander son Company, another owned by Wil son, Braden, Irving and others, and a third the property of Thompson, Bra den, Logan and Kains. An option has been secured on these claims until the end of the year, and before the begin ning of next month between 400 and 500 men will be taken up to Barclay sound to exploit its mineral wealth. If development proves that these properties are at all equal their prom ise, it will mean much for Vancouver island and for Victoria. The proper ties in question run about 72 per cent in pig iron, a very high per centage, and one which envoked enthusiastic expressions from the visiting magnates. Prom these the raw material for the Port Angeles foundries will be drawn. The Galena, one of the promising claims on the Gordon river, passed re cently under bond to a number of East ern capitalists. Active work will com mence on this mine on August 1 and will be continued until the end of the year. A large sum is involved in this transaction should it go through. WILL WORK THE CLAIM. Owners Want a Showing; Made In the Hard Cash. Greenood, B. C, July 16. The own ers have bonded the Hard Cash mineral claim for $20,000 to John Kodgers. The bond is a working one, and so much work must be made before the first payment is made. The Hard Cash ii a fractional claim, containing 28 acres, adjoining the Golden Crown, Winnipeg and the J. and R. The lat ter claim is owned by John Rodgers, and he recently uncovered a ledge on the property near the Hard Cash line. He, therefore, secured the Haid Cash that both claims might be worked to gether. PACIFIC COAST WHEAT SHIP MENTS. Thirty-five Million Bushels Sent From Portland, San Francisco, Seat tle and Tacoina. Portland, July 16. The Oregonian publishes tables showing the wheat shipments from the four leading coast cities for the season of 1899-1900, as follows: Prom Portland 94 cargoes, 14,239, 064 bushels. From San Francisco 127 cargoes, 13,534.635 bushels. Fiom Seattle and Tucoma 35 car goes, 7,799,092 bushels. rosslando'reshipments. Six Months of This Tea- Equal to All of Last. ' Kossland, B. C, July 16. Ore ship ments from this district for the Hist half of 1900 were nearly equal to those of the whole year 1897, when the fig ures were 72,840 tons. The total for the past six months is 71,235 tons. The Nickel Plate has been opened to the 600-foot level, is fully developed by drifts, etc., to the 200-foot level, and partially developed to the 4 0.0-foot level. Arrangements have been made to ship 250 tons of ore per day from the Nickel Plate. RICH MOUNTAIN TUNNEL. Twenty-three Times Cold Has Been Struck at Palmer. Loom is, Wash., July 16. In the Palmer mountain tunnel the last 30 feet driven has gone through a forma tion highly mineralized, giving assays each day running from $3.74 to $37 in gold. The last shot at the face broke into a well defined ledge, showing much blue quartz full of mineral which may prove one of the most important in the history of the tunnel. This ledge is in a different formation from that of the other 22 and the good values pieceeding tha cuttings of the footwall make the crossing and testing of this 23d vein a matter of special interest. ENORMOUS ANACONDA PLANT New Machinery Weighs Jfearly Two Million Pounds. Anaconda, Mont., July 16. New machinery weighing 1,650,000 pounds is being installed in the concentrating plant of the Anaconda Mining Com pany here. The company is using 24 Huntington mills five feet in diameter, of the latest pattern; 24 sets of crush ing rolls, 40 inches in diameter by 16 inch face, with forged steel shells; eight Blake crushers, 24x12 inches, and 16 Blake crushers 15x5 inches. GOOD MONTANA MINE. Copper and Gold Produced at the Cop per Cliff. Missoula, July 16. Visitors in the cify from the Copper Cliff mine report the shaft down 200 feet and the ore running high grade. The owners ex pect to drift at this depth and find bet ter ore. There is on the dump about $35,000 worth of ore, running in both gold and copper. IDAHO MINING COMPANIES. Wallace Reports Two Recently Incor porated, Moderately Stocked. Wallace,. Idaho, July 16. The Nov elty Mining & Milling Company, limit ed, has filed articles of incorporation. Its principal place of business is Wal lace, and its capital stock of $20,000 is divided into 200,000 shares. The Capitol Mining & Milling Com pany has filed articles of incorporation. Wallace is the principal place of busi ness, and the capital stock of $100,000 is divided into 1,000,000 shares. BIG OREGON COMPANY. Mines in the Bonanza District to Be Developed. Baker City, Ore., July 16. The Keystone, Belle and Gold Boy Consoli- dated Mining Company has been ineor- po rated with a capital stock of $2,000, ', 000. The president of the company is Albert Geiser, of Bonanza fame; vice i president, Clark Tabor, of the Red Boy; ( treasurer, J. T. Donnelly, cashier of i the First National bank; secretary, Eugene Sperry; manager, F. J. Conroy; consulting engineer, Captain C. H. Thompson. The property is located in the Bo nanza district, and is considered to be a very rich and promising mine. It is the intention of the company to push development work and get a mill on the property at once. NEXT MINING CONGRESS. Much Good May Result From the Boise Meeting In 1901. Spokane, July 16. In view of the fact that the next meeting of the In ; ternational Alining Congress will meet in Boise, Idaho, in July, 1901, some of the events that took place last mouth in the Milwaukee meeting will be in teresting to Northwestern mining men, says the Spokesman-Review. The objects aimed at by the Milwau kee meeting were: First A permanent organization. I Second A revision of the national j mining laws, with a view of the better ! protection of claimants and owners of mineral lands. Third A mineral exhibit. Fourth To obtain and disseminate information regarding improvements ! and inventions of labor saving machin 1 eiy and other mining appliances. The permanent organization consisted of 416 registered delegates representing 23 different states. Mineral exhibits were displayed by , Alaska, Colorado, Wisconsin, New 1 Mexico, Montana, Arizona, Canada, ! Idaho, Washington and Oregon. Gold Mining; in British Columbia. The first authenticated discovery ol gold in British Columbia, according to Dr. G. M. Dawson, occurred at Mitch ell or Gold Harbor, on the west coast of Queen Charlotte island, in 1851, a nugget weighing several ounces having been accidentally picked up by an Indian woman on the seashore. This nugget was brought to Fort Simpson, and, coming into the possession of the officer in charge of the Hudson Bay Company '8 post at that place, was for warded by him to the company's head quarters at Victoria. An expedition was at once fitted out, and, proceeding to the spot, succeeded in locating a quartz vein seven inches wide, "report ed to contain 25 per cent gold in some places." The find was worked for some months and then abandoned, the narrow vein entirely giving out; no other indications of mineral were ever found on the island, notwithstanding that this extraordinary little seam ol quartz had yielded in a few weeks it was worked a value of $20,000 on the word of one authority, or $75,000 on that of another. About the same time coal, which had been discovered on Vancouver island as far back as 1835, began to be mined in earnest at Nanai mb. Suit Over Mining Claims. Vancouver, Wash., July 16. The oase of Adolph Hooper and Victor Carl son against J. G. Copely and U. M. Lauman was on trial before a special jury, called for this case, in the super ior court. Th case relates to the rights of the parties to certain mining claims in the St. Helens mining dis trict, in Skamania county. The suit was first brought in Lewis county, and was transferred to Skamania county, where the property in controversy is located. The trial wasv held in this county to suit the convenience of the parties to the action. Since the com mencement of the action, the defend ant, J. G. Copley, died, and Charles : W. Thompson, administrator of his es ! tate, was substituted as a party defend -I ant. New Oregon Mining- Companies. The Elk Creek Gold Mining Com pany, city of Union, $50,000. I The Lillian Gold Mining and Invest 1 ment Company, Baker City, $500,000. Keystone, Belle and Gold Boy Con ! soli, la ted Mining Company, Baker Citv, $2,000,000. New Washington Mining Companiet. Gold Ledge Consolidated Mining & Milling Company, Spokane, $100,000. Sacramento Gold Mining Company, Spokane, $100,000. Pilgrim Gold Mining & Milling Company, Davenport, $100,000. Golden Era Mining Company, Col ville, $75,000. i Consolidated Gold Mining Company, Republic, $1,500,000. Myitle Mining & Milling Company, Tacoma, $500,000. Bald Mountain Mining Company, Clear Lake, $1,000,000. Galena King Mining & Milling Com pany, Republic, $75,000. The Plainvew, Or., creameiy turned out 10,000 pounds of butter the past month. The city treasurer of Fairhaven, Wash., has just called in $5,300 of warrants. The necessary acreage is pledged to secure a starch factory at Imbler, in Union county. Spokane lawyers have agieed to close their offices at noon each Saturday dur- ing July and August. The Stay ton, Or., creamery paid 17 cents for butter fat its first month, and I 18 cents last month. Port Townsend's school directors have re-established the office of city superintendent of schools. A young man named Arthur Dunn ; lost his right leg at Starbuck, Wash., on tne ytn by attempting to board a moving train. In every home yon will find at least a half dozen skin lotions and toilet articles on a girl's dressing table, and a boy with hands chapped and bleed ding. THE MIDSUMMER TRADE. Improvement of Tone, Rather Than of Demand. Bradstreet's says: While trade is still only of mid-summer volume, the beginnings of improvement in demands are apparantly becoming visible. The improvement is still one of tone, rather than of demand, but with a yield of 540,000,000 bushels of wheat, a next to record breaking yield of corn, and a very large proportion of oats, '.the West ern crop situation contains many en couraging features. The Southern, cot ton crop has undoubtedly suffered, and conditions are unprecedentedly low for this season of the year, but the acreage planted was a large one, and prices are so much higher that a satis factory financial return is confidently looked for. The effort of the big iron and steel concerns to control prices, if really made, has proven abortive, and another wholesale slashing of quotations is to be reported this week. The industriasituation is rather bet ter as a result of agreements upon wages by a number of iron and steel manu facturing concerns and their employes. Lower prices for lumber are appar ently inducing more activity in build ing, though how much is due to this or how mnch to the settlement of labor disturbances is hard to measure. Wheat, including flour, shipments for the week agjwegate 2,829.910 bush els, against 3,018,832 bushels last week. Business failures in the United States number 221 as compared with 146 last week. Business failures in the Dominion of Canada number 22 as compared with 25 last week. Ninety persons were made seriously ill at Rheine, Westphalia, Germany, owing to the eating of diseased horse flesh. PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Markets. Onions, new, 1 c. Lettuce, hot house, $1 per crate. Potatoes, new. lc. Beets, per sack, 85c$l. Turnips, per sack, 75c. Carrots, per sack, $1.00 Parsnips, per sack, 50 75c. Cauliflower, native, 75c. Cucu m bers 50 60c. Cabbage, native and California, $1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Tomatoes $1.25. Butter Creamery, 23c; Eastern 22c; dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 1517c pound. Eggs 24c. Cheese 12c. Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c; spring, $3.50. Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00 12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $19.00. Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled or ground, per ton, $20. Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.50; blended straights, $3.25; California, $3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $30.00. Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef steers, price 7c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 9 11c. Hams Large, 13c; small, 13 34; breakfast bacon, 12c; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 55 56c; Valley, 56c; Bluestem, 59c per bushel. Flour Best grades, $3.20; graham, $2.70; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 35c; choice gray, 33c per bushel. Barley Feed barley, $14.00 15.00; brewing, $16.00 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $12.50 ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $13; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $1011; clover,$7a 7.50; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton. Butter Fancy creamery, 35 40c; store, 25c. Eggs-r-174c per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c. Young America, 14c; new cheese 10 per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.00C 3.50 per dozen; hens, $4.50; spring $2.003.50; geese, $4.005.00 for oil $4.506.50; ducks, $3.004.00 pei dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c pei pound. Potatoes 40 50c per sack; sweets. 22Mc per pounu. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c; per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab bage, lc per pound; parsnips, $1; onions, 1 '40 per pound; carrots, $1. Hops 2 8c per pound. Wool Valley, 15 16c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 25 per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 3 '34c; dressed mutton, 7 7)sc per pound; lambs, 52c. Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $5.00 6.50 per 100 pounds, BeefGross, top steers, $4.00 4. 60; cows, $3.50 4.00; dressed beef, 62 7?io per pound. Veal Large, 67Kc; small, 8 8c per pound. San Franeisco Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 13 15c pei pound; Eastern Oregon, 10- 15c; Val ley, 1820c: Northern, 1012c. Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c pel pound. Butter Fancy creamery 18 19c; do seconds, 18 );; fancy dairy, 17c; do seconds, 15 16 e per pound. Eggs Store, 15c; fancy ranch, 18c. Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 20.00; bran, $12.5013.50. Hay Wheat $6.5010; wheat and oat $6.009.50; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.00 6.00 per ton; straw, 25 40c per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore gon Bnrbanks, 80c 90; river Bur banks, 3565c; new. 70c$1.25. Citrus Frnit Oranges, Valencia, $2.768.25; Mexican limes, $4.00 5.00; California lemons 75c$1.50; do choice $1.76 2.00 per box. Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50 3.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 66o per pound. THE M HOLINESS PEOPLE.' Eat and Sleep Under One Roof, and the Gift of Monndsville, W. Va., is the headquarters of the sect called "Holiness People." They recently held a great religious feast. Many hundreds of the sect came from all parts of the world. The church originated in Michigan in 1880, and the head quarters were moved to Moundsville two years ago. They believe that God's people are coming to unity; that this is a reformation of the Christian religion, and that the true Christians of the world are being turned by God to this belief. They believe in sanctification by faith and divine healing. The congregations, called the "Church of the Living God" or "Holiness People," are very economical. They wear no neckties or clothing of fashionable design. The men all wear white shirts and celluloid collars, with bone collar but tons, and no jewelry is worn. Everything is in communal style. They are all quartered in the Trumpet Home. At this Home the single people have rooms of their own and the .families have suites. There is but one kitchen and one dining room. These people do not mingle with the outside world, and apparently are a very happy and contented set. They have a publishing house of their own, and a paper called the Gospel Trumpet. No one working on this journal gets any salary, as the motto of these people is that all persons need is "enough to eat and their clothing." TUNNEL DISEASE. Curious Affliction of Those Who Delve in Mines and Tnnnels. There is a disease which attacks the laborers in tunnels and mines. It is as old as Egypt, but only within this cen tury has it been placed to a specific parasite. It is a painful and danger ous disease, often resulting in death. A monograph on the subject of this malady, called ankylostomiasis, has just appeared, and, coming as it does from Hugo F. Goldman, M. D., the of ficial physician in the coal mines of Brennberg, near Oldenburg, Germany, it carries great weight, for it Is based upon years of experience and practical treatment of this dread disease. It attacks not only men but animals, especially the horses or mules used in the building of tunnels and the opera tion of mines. It is a disease caught by ir .ection, like typhoid or cholera. It may be contracted in the air or by con tact with the" germs, which are really the eggs of the little worm, or ankylos toma, as it is called. This name means "hooked mouth," and refers to the six hooked teeth around the mouth of the parasite by which it clings to the inte rior of the human intestine. It Is found not only in the duodenum, but also in the smaller intestines, where it grows and flourishes. Male and female oan be distinguished among these parasites, the females be ing larger and more numerous than the males. The males grow to the length of .3937 inch, and the female is on an average half as long again. They can be seen with the naked eye. This ani mal has neither breathing apparatus nor circulatory system, and varies in color from grayish white to brown and even blood red, according to the condi tion of the person in whom it is found. The female lays a large number of eggs In the human Intestines, from which they spread the disease infinitely under proper conditions. T4ie parasite and the egg develop best In a temperature between 65 and 85 degrees Fahren heit. The air and surrounding medium should be moist. It Is on account of the moisture and heat to he found in mines and tunnels thnt this parasite develops so perfectly among the toll ers in these places. Darkness la also necessary, sunlight killing these ani malculae almost instantly. Ankylostomiasis originated In the Orient. It has been long established in Egypt, but has been mistakenly called Egyptian chlorosis, or aenemia, and was treated as mere poverty of the blood in red corpuscles. It passed over from Kcvut to Italv. where it was not I really understood until Dubini found . I ,.i fM 1QQQ liie yaiaDiic in muo, When the St. Gothard tunnel was built in the '70s. the disease spread throughout central Europe, especially In Switzerland. The further spread ing of the ankylostoma to the mines of Europe was quick to follow. When the men were first attacked in the St Got hard tunnel it was thought that a new disease, the "tunnel disease," had been found, but it was nothing other than the ankylostoma, as was proved by I'erroncito, when he found no less than 1,500 of these parasites in the duode num of a man who had died of "tun n?l disease." The mode of Infection is very ap- i parent The men while at work often carry their hands to their mouths, or eat their food in the tunnels or mines, and in this way the parasite or its eggs enter through the mouth, pass on into the system and find a permanent home In the intestines, to the walls of which they cling with all six teeth, feeding on the blood of the unfortunate person attacked. Use of Soap. British critics of the Boers are fond of asserting that the sturdy Transvaal era use little soap. This may be true Believe in Sanctificatlon by Faitb Divine Mealing. or not. Even if true, there is plenty of precedent The Japanese, the most cleanly people in the world, rarely use soap. The Russians use vapor baths for cleanliness' sake. Rough inside cloth ing cleanses the skin. There are doc tors who have cured skin diseases by insisting upon their delicate patients abandoning silk underwear and using very coarse stuff instead. Napoleon, whose hands were good to model and beautifully white, used bran and lemon juice, and no soap, unless to shave. In England, on account of coal smoke and smut, soap is more needed than in countries with clear air. Many fashionable ladies of to-day, who would be much offended if they were called barbarous or uncivilized, never use soap. They grease themselves with vaseline and such stuff and carefully rub it all off again. San Francisco Call. Stole the Bridegroom. -A young man In a convivial party at a Broad street hotel told the following story: "I had a good time at a wedding last week. It was the wedding of a friend of mine, and I and some of the boys played a good joke on him, and he didn't get mad either. The joke was to steal him. Yes, right after the cere mony we grabbed him up, banged him into a cab, and then drove him out six teen miles into the country, where we locked him up in a barn and kept him there three days. The bride waited for him in a royal suite of rooms in an As bury Park hotel. We had persuaded her to travel down alone, promising her the groom would arrive at any minute. Every evening, after our day's work was done, we trotted out into the coun try to see the groom, with baskets of food and liquid. Pretty good-natured about it the duffer was, too, I tell you, though, those three days were different slightly from what he and the girl had been counting on." Philadelphia Rec ord. Not Law but Gospel. Clergymen of the past often had traits of individuality which are per haps not so common at the present day. Archbishop Sumner was once holding a confirmation In an English parish church, when he observed that a num ber of people were standing in the aisles, although several pews were empty. He stopped the service, and asked the reason. "The pews are private property," an swered a man, "and they're shut up." "There can be no such thing," said the bishop, authoritatively. "Let the pews be opened." "We can't open 'em!" shouted some one. "There're locked." "Is there a locksmith here?" "Yes, my lord." "Very well; let him remove the locks. A hymn shall be sung meanwhile." So the locks were removed, the audi ence seated itself, and the confirmation went on. Youth's companion. Water at Hamburg. One of the tasks of the Hamburg Hygienic institute is to make frequent examinations of the water of the river Elbe to see if it contains the germs of cholera, diphtheria, or other Infectious diseases. Another is to examine the water of the wells, of which there still are 2,000 In the city. After a woman has been married two years, she should give up trying to get her husband to say voluntarily that he is fond of her. The Blonde I wish I could play the piano, awfully. The Brunette Why, you can. New York World. A good boy may not become a hand some man, but a handsome bonnet al ways becomes a good woman. LET US ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORISTS Pleasant Incidents Occurring: the World Over Saying that Are Cheer ful to Old or Xoung Funny Selec tion that You WU1 Enjoy. Maud I don't know whether Charley really loves me or not. Her brother What did you glvu him for a birthday present? "A box of cigars." "Did he smoke them?" "Yes." "Then you may be sure he loves you." Stray Stories. Too Strenuous. "DIs is a mighty busy world," said the philosophic hobo. "Dat ain't no Joke," returned his companion. "It's gittin' ter be harder work ter keep from workln' dan it Is ter work." Phil adelphia Record. Bad Outlook for the Boy. Policeman (examining broken win dow) Begorra, but it's more sarious thin Oi thought it was. It's broke on both sides! Punch. An Illuminating- Question. He She must be from Chicago. She What leads you to think so? He I overheard him ask her how long she had ever been single at one time. The Smart Set. Pro and Con. "I tell you what," said the enthusi ast, "the people who play golf have about them a' certain individuality. When you know that a man is a devo tee of the game you can form a prompt estimate of his mental caliber." "Oh, I wouldn't say that!" replied the other. "I know several who occa sionally play and they're not fools, by any means." All in the Accent. Shopper How much is that there vase? Dealer That's $1.00. Second shopper (a moment later) What is the price of this vawse? Dealer That vawse, madam, is $5. It will look splendid in a Louls-Qua-torze cabinet. Second shopper I'll take it Happily Overfreighted. "Why did that foreign actor make his farewell speech sitting down?" "Perhaps his pockets were so full of money he couldn't stand up." Prompt Irregularity. "Is your new cook reliable?" "Thoroughly so. When she says breakfast will be ready at 7 o'clock sharp we know we needn't get down stairs until 8:15." Keeping Hia Word. "Emil, you said you'd make my mar riage a heaven for me, and now you won't even buy me a silk dress!" "But, my dear, did you ever hear of people wearing silk dresses in heaven?" Das Klelne Wltzblatt Hard to Find. "Jemenenty!" exclaimed Farmer Harlx, as he dropped his paper. "I reckon thieves must be kind o' skeerce down to the city." "Neow, what in the name o' foodness put sich an Idee Into your head, Josh' way?" asked his better half. "Some feller pnt an advertisement in the paper for one," replied the old man, "an', what's more, he offered $10 re ward fer any information leadin' to the dlskivery o' one." The Mean Thing. Miss A When I'm asked to sing I don't say, "No, I can't sing," nor wait to be coaxed, but I sit right down at the piano and Miss B Leave it to the company to find It out for themselves. Not Invited. Daughter Shall we invite Dr. Blgfee to the reception? Mother I think we'd better not; he's so absent-minded. He might charge it In the bill. New York Weekly. An Old Craze Modernised. "Flossy has got a lovely button Btring." "A button string?" "Yes; she's collecting photograph buttons of ah the good-looking girls and boys she knows." A Cold and Selfish Nature. Office Boy Please, sir, can I get offT My granma's awful sick. Employer No, Jerry, I'm going to tna game myself. Absorbed in Hia Own Labor Trouble. "Well, our labor troubles seem to bo winding up." "Yes; my wife said last night that we are all done but one bedroom and the back hall." Discouraging. Wife You will never be a society man, my dear. You are too heavy. Husband But I thought I was sufll ciently nonsensical and unintelligent at the reception to-day. Wife Ye-es, but you were so self coudcious about It. The Smart Set. There Are Others. Weary Watklns I see by the papers that the Prince of Wales is looked aftc' by the rolice all the time. Hungry Higglns Yes, an' he never works, neither. I guess we ain't tu only ones. Indianapolis Press. Late in Life. Bray I cut my wisdom teeth on a void dollar. Jay I cut mine on a gold brick. Baltimore American. Cannibalistic Courtesy. King Umbaloolo (to newly arrived missionary's wife) Ah, Mrs. Goodlelgh, we are glad to see you. Though we are far from the refining influences of society, I assure you that there are times when we are positively hungry for a woman. Like many of her sex, she lost her head after this compliment Balti more American. Diplomacy. Census Taker What Is your asje, madam? Mrs. Neighbors Did the woman next door give her age? Census Taker Certainly. Mrs. Neighbors Well, I'm two yeart younger than she is. Chicago News. Never Changes. Ida There goes "Circus" McCarthy." May Why do you call him "Circus ?" Ida No matter when you see him he is always the same. In the Restaurant. Mrs. Crawfoot Hiram, you always did have such a poor taste in regard to dressing. Mr. Crawfoot Oh, I dunno, Mandy, I reckon I can tell the good old home made catsup from this blamed Her stuff. Small Favors. "I cannot tell you what pleasure yon have given me by making me a birth day present of these two vases! Every time I saw them In the show window of the ten-cent store I wished to pos sess them!" Fliegende Blaetter. One Rule. "Do yaw undawstand football, bar baw?" inquired the college youth. "Well, when I shave you I generally touch down," responded the knight of the razor. Backyard Botany. "So you are experimenting In botany? Well, Curtis, remember that 'what you sow you shall also reap.' " "Well, Tabler, that rests with your neighbor's chickens." Her Instrument. "Does Miss Giddy play?" asked Prof. Dalsegno of Mr. Hunker. "Oh, yes. She's playing young Cal lowhlll now." The Same Thing. "I'm sorry we haven't much of a din ner," said Spatts to Bloobumper, whom he had urged to stay for that meal. "You ought to have dropped in lane evening. We had a stunning dinner then." "Why, papa," chirped Sammy Spates, "that's Just what you told Mr. Taddeils at dinner yesterday." For Resumption. Tramp Gimme a dime, mister? . Philanthropist (suspiciously) Yon' ve been drinking, haven't you? Tramp (meekly) Yes, sir, and I'm broke. I want the dime to resume busi ness with at the old stand." Plenty of Elbow Room. Ranchman's wife Drive over and bring our daughter in. You'll have to hurry, because supper will be ready iu an hour. Ranchman Where Is she? Ranchman's wife She's swinging on the front gate. A Dream that Came Trne. "Talking about dreams," said Mrs. Smith, as we sat around the fire, says the San Francisco Chronicle, "I once had a very strange experience. I dreamed that I was just stepping out of my house for a walk, when a funeral passed by. A man with a cap marked nine and a red scar running across hia forehead jumped from the hearse, and,, approaching me, asked: 'Are you ready?' 'No,' I replied, and with that I awoke. "A few months later I was stopping; In Chicago. I was in the top floor of one of the big houses and just about to step into the elevator, when I re membered another thing I wanted to buy. I stopped and looked through my notebook. 'Down!' exclaimed the ele vator boy, and then asked me: 'Are you ready?' 'No,' I answered and the door closed. "The next instant a great crash was heard, and the occupants of the ele vator were dashed to an untimely death. "The cap of the boy bore the num ber nine and he had a red scar ru uing across his brow."