IN THE MINING WORLD
Value of a Knowledge of Geology to
the Prospector.
(By Karl Douglas, University of Montana.)
The study of the remains of plant
and animal life that have existed in
past ages is like history, astronomy,
fossil languages, politics and all other
branches of human knowledge; it is
mighty interesting when one gets in
terested in it. But it is extremely dif
ficult to get very deeply ineterested in
something that we know nothing about.
There are so many branches of knowl
edge that one cannot know everything.
But the subject on which I am asked
to write is, I believe, of vital interest
to the miner and prospector, though
our knowledge of it was not developed
for their special benefit, but because of
the interest and fascination of the sub
ject itself.
Though I never spent a week in
searh of mineral veins, I have a fellow
feeling for the prospector, in the first
place, there is a charm in outdoor life
in tramping over the hills and moun
tains and through the deep ravines and
rocky canyons; in going into camp
tired enough to make rest sweet, and
hungry enough to devour with the
keenest relish the ham, bacon, coffee,
flapjacks and anything else that hap
pens to come along that is eatable; and
in sleeping in the pure air under the
blue tent of the sky with the whisper
ing of the pines and the varied voices
of the mountain streams to charm
away worldly cares and lull to sleep.
It seems so good not to have to wear
stylish clothes, especially if one has
none to wear; to be where there is no
fear of trespassing on any man's land,
and to fear nobody's dog; to feel that
the world is yours as much as any
body's, and whatever riches you may
find buried in its treasure house you
can call your own.
The prospector descends into the
dark mine, submitting himself to
slavery awhile that he may "grub
stake" himself and be a free man for
the rest of the year and have a prospect
of "striking something rich" and be
coming aswealthy or more wealthy
than his employer.
The mine owner is much the same
kind of a man, but he has the advantage
in having more money to start with,
and is looking for a place where he can
invest his money in a "good proposi
tion" and get richer.
With both mine owner and prospec
tor intelligence and judgment are need
ed. It is true that sometmes those
who have learned little from books and
nothing from experience have blun
dered onto rich leads; but if the truth
were summed up I think it would ap
pear that a very large percentage of
good mines have been found by men
of experience, who have worked in
mines, have seen and handled the ores
and have observed the rock in which
they occur. I firmly believe, too, that
a man's chances of finding the treas
ures hid in the eaith would be in
creased many fold by adding to his ex
perience that of other men, by study
ing tha mode of occurrence of ores, the
rock formations in which they occur
in fact, the better knowledge of
geology and mineralogy he possesses
and the better his power of observation
and judgment the better his chances of
success. The same holds true of the
dealer in mining property. It is true
that these sciences are large ones, but
it is just as true that the chances of
failure without the necessary knowl
edge are fully as large. If a sick man,
ignorant of the properties of drugs,
were turned loose in an apothecary's
shop he might blunder onto something
that would help him, but the chances
would be against him. We need not
be scared by the voluminous books on
geology with their frightful looking
names. There are simple, interesting
books, giving the most important in
formation, and written especially for
prospectors and mining men, and fox
the understanding of then, no previous
knowledge of geology and mineralogy
are needed. These may lead to deeper
study later. But someone will say
that certain minerals have been found
where no experienced prospector would
search and where geologists have sai'
they cannot occur. The trouble it
an old miner comes from California,
to Montana and begins to look for gold
here. He knows just how the rock
looks in which the ore occurs wheie he
mined in California, and be is looking
for the same kind of rock and the same
looking ore, but he probably will not
find it. An old Montana miner goes
to Colorado and meets with ' the same
disappointment. His views of the oc
currence of ores are too narrow. -The
precious metals occur in many differ
ent kind's of rock and under a great
variety of conditions; and one would
have to know the geology of the whole
world to know all the conditions in
which they occur; yet there are certain
underlying truths that, if understood,
will vastly increase the chance? of suc
cess and save not only many years but
many life times. Many brother geolo
gists perhaps I ought to say uncle ge
ologists, for I think they are of the gen
eration that is passing away have
studied a certain region and have
judiifd all the world by that. I might
whisper to you, too, that not all who
talk and write on geological subjects
know just what they are talking about,
and I have no doubt you have thought
of that before reading this article.
A recent report from Boise, Idaho, is
to the effect that a fabulously rich
body of gold ore has been encountered
in the Iowa mine, owned by Judge W.
B. Hey burn. The mine is located neat
Qnartsburg.
Okanogan Gold Mines, Ltd., is the
name of a corporation capitalized for
200,000 which has been incorporated
to take over the property of the Oka
nogan Free Gold Mines, Ltd., which
has property in Okanogan county
Wash.
A unique gold dredge has been built
by the Hammond Manufacturing Com
pany of Portland, Oregon, for the
Monarch Gold Mining & Dredging
Company, which will be taken to Cape
Nome. The dredge is on rollers, and
may be moved from place to place at
the will of the engineer while the ma
chine is in operation. It is constructed
to work the ground below tide water.
It is capable of excavating to a width
of 25 feet and six feet deep without
moving. The gravel is raised bv
chain of buckets, screened and passe i
over copper plate
BRADSTREET'S REPORT.
The Distributive Tradu la Seasonably
Dull.
Bradstreet's says: Distributive trade
is dull, seasonably so in most in
stances, anl pi ices of manufactured
products are generally weak, but ex
ceptions to the former are found where
crop conditions are exceptionally prom
ising and in the clase of prices where
the readjusting movement has been
overdone 011 the down side.
The upward rush of wheat prices
culminated at the close of last week
and the reactions and the irregularities
since, mainly due to heavy realizing,
would mainly point to the movement
having been temporarily at least over
done. Advices from the North are of
little more than half a crop of wheat,
but estimates as to the outturn in bush
els vary accordingly as the government
reports of 316.000,000 bushels, or the
commercial estimate of 200,000,000
bushels in yield last year in the three
states are used as a basis.
Sugar is at the highest price reached
at this time for 10 years past, owing to
the active canning demand and the
strengthened position of raw.
The war in China is chargeable wi
the advance in teas, not only from the
former country, but from Japan, some
interruption in transportation being
apparently looked for if the Asiatic
trouble increases.
Heavy rain's are complained of in the
entire cotton belt east of the Mississip
pi river, and the crop is generally "in
the grass."
Reports from the iron and steel trade
are as pessimistic as ever. Nominally
quotations at Pittsburg are unchanged.
Wheat, including flour, shipments
for the week aggregate 3,184,144 bush
els, against 4,645,180 bushels last
week.
Failures for the week number 185,
as compared with 167 last week.
Failures in the Dominion of Canada
number 18, as compared with 28 last
week. .
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Seattle Markets.
Onions, new, lc.
Lettuce, hot house, $1 per crate.
Potatoes, new. lc.
Beets, per sack, 90c $1.
Turnips, per sack, 75c.
Carrots, per sack, $1.
Parsnips, per sack, 5075c.
Cauliflower, California 90c 1.
Strawberries- $1 per case.
Cabbage, native and California,
f 1.00 1.25 per 100 poundB.
Tomatoes $1.50 per case.
Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c;
dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 1517o pound.
Eggs 19c.
Cheese 12c.
Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c;
spring, $3.50.
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00
12.00; choice Eastern Washington
timothy, $19.00.
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
$20.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25;
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat
flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00;
shorts, per ton, $14.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 8
10c.
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13i;
breakfast bacon, 12 c; dry salt sides,
8c.
Portland Market.
Wheat Walla Walla. 57 58c;
Valley, 58c; Bluestem, 60c per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $3.35; graham,
$2.85; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice White, 35c; choice
gray, 33c per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $14.00 15.00;
brewing, $16.00 per ton.
Millstnffs Bran, $12.50 ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $13; chop, $14 per
ton.
Hay Timothy, $10011; clover,$7
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $67 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 35 40c;
store, 25c.
Eggs 16c per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c;
Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c
per pound.
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.00(3
4.00 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs,
$2.50(34.00; geese, $4.00(35.00 forold;
$4.50(36.50; ducks, $3.00(34.00 per
dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c per
pound.
Potatoes 40 50c per sack; sweets,
l2c per pounu.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c;
per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab
bage, l?ac per pound; parsnips, $1;
onions, 1 '40 per pound; carrot, $1.
Hops 2 8c per pound.
Wool Valley, 16(3 16c per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 25
per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 3c; dressed mutton, 7(3
T ?ic per pound; lambs, bc.
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
$5.00(36.50 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4.00(34.50;
cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 6-2
70 per pound.
Veal Large, GX7Xoi small, 8(3
8)o per pound.
Ban Francisco Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 13 15c pei
pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; Val
ley, 18 20c; Northern, 10 12c.
Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c per
pound.
Butter Fancy creamery 18 19c;
do seconds, 17 He, fancy dairy,
17c; doseconds, 15 16c per pound.
Eggs Store, 13c; fancy ranch,
17c.
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 (3
80.00; bran, $12.60(313.50.
Hay Wheat $6.50(310; wheat and
oat $6.00(39.50; beet barley $5.00
7.00; alfalfa, $5.00 6.00 per ton;
straw, 25 40c per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore
gon Burbanks, 80c 90; river Bur
banks, 8565c; new, 70c$1.25.
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia,
$2.75(33.25; Mexican limes, $4.00(3
5.00; California lemons 75c $1.60;
do choice $1.76(32.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, 66o pel
pound.
"MARCH ON," HE SAID.
KITCHENER RUNS AGAINST A
BARBARA FRI ETCH i E.
Boer Maid Bids Defiance to British
ChieX of Staff Unable to Destroy the
Home Without Injuring Her, Kitch
ener Follows Jackson' Example.
"Forward1, gentlemen!" said' Lord
Kitchener to his staff at Rightman's
farm In South Africa when Rightman's
girl defied them to burn the house on
the veldt, and to break up a Boer har
boring place. It was the Barbara
Frletchie incident over again, and
Rightman's girl was the heroine of it.
Kitchener did what Stonewall Jackson
ordered done forty years before.
"March on!" be said, and dictated a
message to headquarters saying that
the commander's orders with reference
to the destruction of Rightman's farm
could not be carried out, owing to "un
expected opposition."
Rightman's girl was the unexpected
opposition, and the story makes one of
the finest Incidents of the Boer strug
gle. This Barbara Frletchie is young,
and Whltrier's heroine was a gray-haired
woman. Rightman is a prominent
Boer leader, a God-fearing, scriptural
reading Dutchman, who lives on a
farm In the Prleska regfcm. He fights
during a six weeks' campaign, then
gets leave of absence and goes home to
the rude little farm house on the South
African plains, gets a change of cloth
ing, food in his knapsack, rounds of
fresh ammunition, and sets off again
to lay traps for the English, and to
pick off men with his sharpshooting
rifle. Rightman is responsible for many
humiliating disasters to the British.
"RIGHTMAN'S GIRL BARRING GEN. KITCHENER.
He Is one of the keen-eyed, bushy-whiskered
Boer farmers who have trekked
the country over, and who appear to
have been born with a curious instinct
for military tactics. He can plan an
attack, and he knows how to retreat
with victory: Rightman's house has
been a rendezvous for Boer recruits
and a refuge for wounded Boer sol
diers. Rln-htman'a Girl in Charge.
In Rightman's absence Rightman's
girl takes care of the house, the fields,
the herds. Just "Rightman's girl," the
dispatches say, and so far as history
goes she has no other name. She is a
pretty young girl. She knows how to
spin and weave and brew and bake
and set the milk to cool in a spring
bouse under the bill. She knows the
history of her race, and If need be, she
would take up a rifle and fight for the
country.
Lord Kitchener was ordered to de
stroy the Prleska district. "Burn,"
was the-order, and especially was
Kitchener directed to raze the Right
man farm house. Onward he marched,
down on the plain went the hero of the
Soudan, his detachments thrown out,
to sweep the little settlements. Occa
sionally the English soldiers encaunter
ed small parties of Boers. Then came
the charge, the battle, the scattering
of one side or the other. Long lines
of litter bearers would go on to the
field, and the groaning men whose life
blood was gushing out would be carried
to the low, hot tent, where the weary
surgeons cut and hacked and bandaged
and bathed, and the lines of dead
would be accorded a burial.
One day they came upon the Right
man farm house. . Kitchener and his
staff rode at the rear of the command.
"Burn," said the general as he sent
for a sergeant and pointed out th lit
tle farm house. The sergeant started
with a small detachment of troopers,
for the burning of farm houses was a
very ordinary thing. The troops' wait
ed, expecting every moment to see
smoke curl up around the roof and
flames burst from the windows. They
waited and waited, and when they got
out their spy glasses ihey saw the ser
geant still parleying with a pretty and
excited girl at the door. Kitchener
started forward with his staff at a
sharp gallop, their swords clanking,
spurs jingling.
He Defiance to Kitchener.
"What's that?" Kitchener said, as he
drew up at the door. Rightman's girl
bad heard of Kitchener, and she knew
what the orders were. But she drew
herself up and looked at him defiantly,
bracing her hands against the sides of
the door. "You shall not burn this
house. I am here, and here I intend to
stay," she said.
For a moment the chief of staff look
ed at the little woman Rightman's
girl. For a moment he gazed Into her
eyes, and then turned sharply. Then
he raised his hand and a military secre
tary spurred to the front.
"Put it down that the commander's
orders, with reference to the destruc
tion of Rightman's farm, could not be
carried out, owing to the unexpected
opposition," Kitchener growled, and
then he waited a second and turned
toward the girl in the doorway. She
was still there with arms stretched out
a pretty figure. The chief of staff
wheeled again.
"Forward!" and the staff spurred be
hind him, while the rugged troopers
felt a strange throbbing under their
khaki uniforms for the brave little
woman who was watching them ride
away. "March on," he said.
The line is familiar. The picture ev
ery man and woman has conjured, ev
ery boy and girl has dwelt upon, until
Barbara Frletchie Is Just as much a
part of the great civil struggle In this
country as were the great guns and the
great gun carriages.
"Forward!" Rightman's girl was left
In the doorway of her farm a heroine
of the struggling Boers In a country In
vested by English, as Barbara Frlet
chie was a heroine of Frederick in a
country filled with Confederates.
CHEAPEST OF RAILROAD FARES
Russia's Great Efforts to Encourage
Emigration to S.beria.
The Russian Government is now pro
viding transportation to emigrants
from European Russia who are willing
to make new homes in Siberia at rates
of fare that have probably never been
equalled for cheapness.
The third-class tickets sold on the
Russian and Transsiberian railroads
were believed to be about the cheap
est in the world, but the fourth-class
tickets which the Government has re
cently caused to be offered make the
others a costly luxury by comparison.
These tickets are sold to any one
of 141 stations In Siberia and they are
good from any point in Russia. The
fourth-class passenger, for example,
from Moscow to Tobolsk pays for that
long journey only two roubles, or a lit
tle over $1. On the other hand, If he
wishes to go clear to Vladivostok by
the railroad and its steamer connection,
now complete, a distance of about 5,000
miles, he has to pay 4 roubles, or
$3.60.
The Government thus practically
gives free transportation to those in
habitants of Russia who will move into
the fertile agricultural and industrial
regions that have recently been opened
In Siberia. The Czar and his advisers
are very anxious to secure the rapid
development of Siberia, and so great
efforts are making to All the new re
gions with an Industrious population.
In the past three years about 600,000
Russian peasants, stimulated in every
way by their Government, have remov
ed to Siberia, and to-day its population
is about 6,000,000. New York Sun.
An Important Position.
The man who Is known as the "fla
vorer" in the tobacco trade has a high
grade position, Since he has few com
petitors. He is responsible for the fla
vor of all grades of goods made, and
sees to It that the flavor is kept the
same year in and year out; it matters
not where the tobacco that goes In
them comes from or the condition un
der which it has grown. By his art and
skill he can make tobacco that grows
on low lands taste and smell the same
as that grown on high lands. He can
make tobacco grown during a drv sea
son take the same flavor as that grown
during a rainy season. Tobacco grown
at different ends of the same State, or
in different States, are by his treat
ment the same, as far as the consumer
is concerned. As may be Imagined,
there are not many who are competent
to do the work, and as a result flavor
ers range In salaries all the way from
eight to ten dollars per day of about
one hour's actual work. They are em
ployed, however, but about nine months
in each year.
j Upset His Plans,
"Did you ask papa?" she questioned,
eagerly.
"Yes, and it's all off," he responded,
as one In a dream.
"Why, did he refuse?'
"No, but he said when I asked to take
you away from him I was asking to
take away the light of bis life; that the
home without you would be a prison
cell."
"Well, all papas say that, you big,
tender-hearted fellow."
"I know," he responded, huskily, "but
It Isn't that." 1
"What Is It, then?"
"Can't you see? He expects me to
take you away from home, and 1
wouldn't have the nerve after he talk
ed like that to stay and er well,
don't you see?"
"I see," she answered, coldlv in.
dlanapolls Sun.
A woman's great consolation at a
funeral Is the presence of former old
servants in the family who have come
some distance to attend.
The older a man gets the less he is
worth the day after he has been to a
party.
The more faults a man has, the loud
er he demands perfection in others.
Fully half the people are said to ba
'not right"
NUMBER 135.
Silent Example that Exerted a Potent
Iafluence for Good.
One human being's consciousness of
another, however brief, often makes
some difference in a life. Mutual in
fluence is a mental and moral fact. A
lady gives-a pleasant example of this
in the Universalist Leader. A house
keeper, after several complaints to her
grocer because unsound fruit had been
sent her, was one day offered a basket
of peaches and a basket of gem melons,
accompanied with this assurance
"You will not find a single damaged
peach or melon in either of these pack
ages. If you do I will gladly refund the
money you pay for them."
She found every peach and melon per
fect. The housekeeper reported this
on her next visit to the dealer's store,
and asked why be was so positive in
warranting his goods. "Why?" ex
claimed the man. "Why, because I
have found that the farmer who fur
nished those baskets never Bends dis
honest packages to market."
The farmer's number, among the
commission dealer's consignment, was
"136." After that the lady always
bought Number 135, and the contents
of the baskets never failed in measure,
condition or in quality.
Admiration for the conscientious far
mer grew upon the housekeeper, and
literally made her more conscientious
herself. She felt ashamed whenever
she was tempted to slight or "scamp"
her work. Number 135 seemed to be
looking at her.
One particular that deepened this im
pression was the non-appearance in
market on Mondays of any baskets
bearing the favorite mark. Farmer 135
would not pack fruit on Sunday, the
dealer said. The housekeeper felt her
face flush when that was said. She had
never been so scrupulous.
The summer and autumn passed, but
the sermon of the faultless fruit contin
ued to preach to Its buyer when she
could buy no more. Careless lapses of
duty frequently brought up the thought
"Number 135 would not have done
that." She remembered and thanked
the unknown man whose Integrity had
strengthened and helped her. His rec
titude represented to her the presence
of the sinless Teacher.
The above Instance Is but one among
thousands of the power of Involuntary
Influence. A good man's life Is one of
the moral tonics of society. His silent
example is In itself a blessing to the
world.
Dr. Conan Doyle's new book of short
stories will be called "The Green Flag
and Other Stories."
Queen Victoria is about to publish
another selection from her diaries, ac
cording to the Outlook. The profits
will go to one of the war funds.
Gertrude Atherton's new novel, "Sen
ator North," which has been running
as a serial in the Times of London, will
shortly be brought out in book form
both In England and America The
theme of the book is said to be a some
what daring essay In fiction.
Arthur Morrison's new book "To
London Town," has just come out In
London. He is a wiry, thin man of
middle height, with a curiously dry
Voice, and rather emphatic, Jerky way
of speaking. Mr. Morrison is also a
great collector of Japanese prints and
lives near Lough ton, where most of his
work is done. When in London he is
generally to be found at the Savage
Club.
William Waldorf Aster's Pall Mail
Magazine is in the market It has been
excellently edited by Sir Douglas
Straight and Lord Frederick Hamilton,
with splendid pictures, equisite speci
mens of process, work and first-rate lit
erature, but so far it has not been pos
sible to build up a shilling monthly
magazine in England on the lines of
the first-class magazines in the United
States.
1 The famous Guyot de Vllleneuve li
brary has been sold at Paris for $142,
000, the collection having previously
been valued by experts at $120,000.
The sale occupied four days. The highest-price
was an exquisite Book of
Hours; superbly Illustrated, which be
longed to Marshal de Boucicaut, and It
realized $13,800, having been purchased
by its late owner for $6,000 In 1887
from an English collector.
Where Instructions Failed.
An East End little girl was going to
a party the other day, and her mother
gave her a few lessons in etiquette.
"When they pass the cake to you the
first time," said the fond mother, "take
a piece and say 'Thank you.' When
they pass the cake the second time, if
they insist, politely take a small piece
and say, Thank you, very much.' The
third time the cake comes around do
not take any, but thank the lady."
With these explicit instructions well
in hand the little girl went to the par
ty, where she enjoyed herself immense
ly. Upon her return her mother said:
"Well, my dear, did you remember
what I told you about the cake?"
"Yes, mamma," replied the little girl,
"but you did not tell me what to say
when they passed the cake the fourth
time."
"What did you say?" asked the anx
ious mother.
m said what papa says: Take the
d thing away.' "Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Club Status Explained.
"Maria," said Mr. Smart, "whenever
I go to the club I always think of the
verse, 'Where the wicked cease from
troubling and the weary are at rest' I
alter one word and feel perfectly hap
py" "Which word do you change?" asked
Mrs. S.
"I say, 'Now I am where the women
cease from troubling and the weary
are at rest. "
"John Smart" said his wife severely,
"you should change a word In the last
part of that. It- should be, 'Where the
women cease from troubling and the
wicked are at rest' "Philadelphia
GaUL
0U BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE
Jokes and Jokeleta that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Say inas
and Doings that Are Old, Car ions and
Laughable The, Week's Humor.
Young Obed Perkins It wasn't right
fer you to go to see Cynthy while I was
goin' with her, Seth. She won't keep
company with me at all now.
j Young Seth Wheatly Well, it weren't
I jist adzackly right, Obed, I'll admit.
I But you see. It were this way: While
yer jist as good a-lookin feller as I am,
J you know Cynthy's a gal what's got
a all-fired good eddlcatlon, and she's
I patickler that she gits a feller what
: uses good grammar. That's my strong
piui. vjuea, ana natcneriy sne tucK ngnt
to me. Indianapolis Sun.
Hard.
"Writing poetry fills me with passion
ate longings. It enthralls me. It makes
me soar, as it were."
"Hump! Reading it after you write
It makes me sore."
Unwelcome Friendship.
"I want to say to you," roared the
red-faced passenger, "that I am a
friend to the Boers, all the time."
J "Well," said the slim passenger, who
was 111 a corner 01 lue cur, wuere ue
couldn't escape. "I hadn't thought much
about it, but if you are with them I am
sorry for them myself." Indianapolis
Press.
A Working Basis.
"I want to marry your daughter,'
aid Foxey.
"Have you spoken to her yet?" asked
the father.
"No," replied the suitor. "You see
I want to get your refusal, so that I
will have something to work on." Phil
adelpbia North American.
The Professor Knew.
"Professor," the seeker after knowl
edge inquired of the great toxicologist.
"if a tarantula were to bite you, what
would be the first thing you'd do?"
"Yell!" replied the scientist promptly
Philadelphia Press.
A Dying Race.
Jennie "Herbie, it 3ays here another
octogenarian's dead. What's an octo
genarian?"
Herbie "Well, don't know what they
re, but they must be awfully sickly
! creatures. Youf never hear of 'em but
they're dying." Brooklyn Life.
A Natural Tendency. '
"I guess Binx has just had a raise in
alary," said the confirmed cynic."
"Has anybody told you so?"
"No; but he goes about saying he
thinks the world Is getting better, and
that the danger from trusts is greatly
magnified, and that human nature isn't
so bad after all. That's the way a man
nearly always talks just after he has
had a raise In salary." Washington
Star.
The Same Old Story.
"Hello, Bill! Catchln fish, eh?"
"Nope; fishin'."
Easily Explained.
- Watts Ever notice how kindly an
audience takes to jokes about police
men or about women that Is, the men
do? I'm afraid it is a bad sign.
Potts Don't you worry. It is human
nature to enjoy seeing one's bosses
made fun of. Indianapolis Press.
Purely for Lore.
"He says he is in business for love."
"What Is his business?"
"He runs a matrimonial agency."
Philadelphia North American.
That Is Different.
"Gifts with strings to them are al
ways unpopular," said Mr. Pitt
"I gave my a little boy a present and
he complained bitterly because there
was no string to it" aded Mr. Penn.
"What did you give him?"
"A kite." Pittsburg Chronicle.
Reckless Reply.
"Pa, what Is a leading candidate?"
"Well, little Jim, he's the man who
gets left first or the one who gets nom
inated first." Indianapolis Journal.
Deceitful Appearances.
"Jaysmith fairly worships his wife,"
said Fosdlck, "and yet he won't give her
enough money to dress herself proper
ly.' "It isn't always the most devout
worshiper that puts the most money
on the collection plate," replied Kee
dick. Town Topics.
Not Good ret.
Mrs. Sparerod (to Mucks, locked up
for disorderly behavior) "Well, Mucks,
are you a good boy now? Aren't you
sorry for being so naughty?"
Mucks "No; but you can come again
in ten minutes."
Uncertainty.
"There Is nothing more uncertain
than a horse race," exclaimed the man
with a tendency to talk loud.
And the melancholy friend responded:
"You never worked in a weather bu
reau, did you?" Washington Star.
Reversal.
Maud "Tell me all about it
Mabel "Well, when It began he was
on his knees."
Maud "And how did it end?"
Mabel "In the end er I was on his
knees." Town Topics.
She Knew.
"What are pauses?" the' teacher
asked the first class in grammar.
"Tilings that grow on cats and dogs,"
answered the smallest girl. Detroit
Free Press.
After the Convention.
Party Worker "See here, you told
me that you were confident of success?"
Defeated Candidate "Well, of
course, I meant that. In the nature of
things, some candidate or other was
bound to succeed." Indianapolis Jour
nal. An Audacious Duet.
"My daughter tells me, sir, that you
had the audacity to propose to her!
What have you to say to that?"
"Nothing, sir, except that your daugh
ter had the audacity to accept me!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Cheated.
"What Is Jimmy crying about now?"
"Oh, we had a little blaze and put It
out ourselves. He's mad because we
didn't call out the fire department."
Indianapolis Journal.
The Treasurer.
Jones You used to complain that
your wife was constantly asking you
for money.
Henry Peck O, that was when we
were first married. All that's changed
now.
Jones She doesn't do It any more?
Henry Peck No. I ask her for- It,
when I can sum up sufficient courage.
Philadelphia Press.
An Explanation.
Punston See here, old chap, what da
you mean by taking my jokes and pass
ing them off as your own?
Funston Well, you see, It's this way;
I'm a good-natured sort of fellow and
don't mind taking a joke from a friend,
Chicago News.
Preparing for the Harvest.
"Isn't this a queer spot to plant seeds,
little boy?"
"We ain't plantin' no seeds. These
are Injun relics for the summer board
ers to find."
Don't Judge by Appearance.
Lulu "From outward appearances,
I don't think much of him."
Dolly "Ah, but the Inward appear
ance of his pocketbook Is lovely."
Philadelphia North American.
Talking Business.
"Who is that man who is eternally
talking to you about the brevity of
human life? Is it the minister?"
"Minister! That's an Insurance
agent." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Measured Term.
Tailor Will you have your coat in
man-o'-war style, sir?
Customer Man-o'-war style? What
are you talking about?
Tailor Why, a broad side, sir.
In the Cafe.
Carte I tell you that waiter Is a
gentleman from head to foot.
D'Hote You mean from tip to tip.
In the Throne.
Ida Do you see that man with mutton-chop
whiskers? Doesn't he look
bold?
May He looks very sheepish to me.
On the Stand.
Smythe Haven't seen Diggs In an
age.
Woodfall He's on the race track
now.
Smythe Newmarket?
Woodfall No; Pretoria.
The Lasting Effort.
Sandy Pikes Yer don't look well dls
mornin', Billy.
Billy Coalgate No, I'm still feelin'
de effect of de grip.
Sandy Pikes De regular lnfluenzy
grip?
Billy Coalgate Naw! De bulldog's
grip.
South African Winter.
The South African winter begins to
ward the end of April, and lasts until
September. It is a very common fall
acy to suppose that it is always warm.
If not hot, under the southern cross; it
can be cold enough to "freeze the tail
off a brass monkey," as the miners
say. Here and there, but very rarely,
there will be snow. It may freeze on
most nights, particularly on the up
lands, and at a 5.000 foot or greater ele
vation above the sea During the day
it is cold but clear, bright dry and
eternally sunny, with a cloudless blue
sky and an exhilaration of atmosphere
unequaled in any other part of the-
world. Montreal Weekly Star.
Baseball in Japan.
The Japanese ride American bicycles
and play base-ball, and they use Amer
ican expressions in connection with the
games, as "one strike," "home base,"
etc.
The squirrel on the other side of ths
tree never comes to the hunter whs
waits.