ankachos of Women are wearying hey end des orlptlon and, they Indicate real trouble somewhere Efforts to bear the dull pain are heroic, but they do not overcome It and the backaches continue until the cause Is re moved LydU E. Ptakham's Vtgetfcle Compound does this more certainly than any other medicine. It his been doing It for thirty years. N Is a wo man's medicine for wo man's lllsm It has done much for ti e health of American women. Read the grateful letters from women constantly ap pearing In this paper. Mrs. Plnkham counsels women free of charge. Her address Is Lynn, Mass. Metal never rusts in the waters ol lake Titacaca. A chain or anchor can be left in it for two weeks and it will be as clean and bright as when it came from the foundry, which is probably owing to action of some of the chemical alts in the water. SHAKE INTO IOBB SHOES Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet. It cures painful, swollen, smarting, ner ous feet, and instantly takes the sting u of corns and bunions. It's the greatest comfort discovery of the age. Allen's Foot Ease makes tight or new shoes feel easy. It is a certain cure for Ingrowing Nails, fw eating, callous and hot, tired, aching feet. We have over 30.000 testimonials. Try it today. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores. Bv mail for 25c. in stamps. Trial package 'FHKE. Address, Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. The native commissioner at Se bungwe, Africa, reports that the white rhinocerons is still to be seen on the veldt in the districts between the San yati and Zambesi rivers. It was gen erally thought that the gigantic animal was extinct. You Will Never Know what good ink is unless you use Carter's. It costs no more than poor ink. All deal ers. Over 600,000 pounds of tea is con sumed in England daily. Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infal lible niedicHie for coughs and colds. N. W. Samuel, Ocean Grove, K. J., Feb. 17, 1900. A Vermont fox, close pressed by two hounds, dashed across a railroad track . in front of an advancing train, which killed the dogs. Mothers will find Jlrs. Winslow's Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use for thevv Children during the teething period. In some interesting experiments by English botanists, "sleeping" plants, o those which had taken their noctur nal position, were placed in a dark room. On "awakening" next morn ing they took in the darkness their nsnal positions by day, even when that position had been made oblique, by one sided illumination. ABSOLUTE -a SECURITY. Genuine Carter's Little Liver Pills. Must Bear Signature of if Facsimile Wrapper Below. Terr null mmA mm ewr to take as sugar. FOR HEADACHE. FOR DIZZINESS. FOR BILIOUSNESS. FOR TORPID LIVES. FOR CONSTIPATION. FOR SALLOW SKIN. FOR THE COMPLEXION HAV1 JUOMATUS!. CURE SICK HEADACHE. Tested m m. To four imtrodDc. oar Fumi "SOrTHEBV BILLE ClOABS" wo giro to each person baying akoxof M cigars for $3.60 and express charges, an elegant nickel plate cue, stem wild, stem set. open face Watch, AJnerlcan make, which with proper care should taai tot jeers ; also a plated watch chain and charm. Send us year name end toll address do money. We will send cigars, watch, chain end charm. If, after examination. 70a ere satisfied, par jour agent S2.A0 and express charges. T&asegoeds sent anywhere in the U. S. at these terms. The "Sou tfcero Bells' is as good as many 10c cigars bow offered. AderassNatlonal ClajarCo., , si.Loui.,Mo Wasemrtsrlngplesssglrs the name e this paper without fall CARTER'S I WET WF I RH RRRNii NJjpm I How Bob Came to Be a Detective a O you wish to become a detect- w5 "Yes, sir." "1 suppose you consider yourself able to give points to any man In the force, don't you?" "No, sir. I am only anxious to have a fair trial. I believe that I can be come a useful member of the force after I have had a little experience." "Well, sir, I am not fond of employ ing green men; but as you seem to have a modest opinion of yourself, I have some hope of making something of you. The chief has requested me to give you a trial, and so 1 shall have to do so. I shall give you a tough case to begin on, and if you make a success of it you shall have a permanent position on the force." "Thank you, sir. 1 shall do my best." "The only clew which I can give you Is this paper. It came into my posses sion entirely by accident. It was seen to fall from the pocket of a man who had been Implicated in several burg laries, and one of my men, who hap pened to be standing near, picked it up and handed it to me. I think there is more in It than appears on the surface. Take it with you, and see what you can make of it." Bob Westbrook took the envelope which the Inspector to whom he had made application for a position in the detective forces gave him, and left the office. He had never done any detective work before, and had only been on the police force about eight months, but he was very ambitious, and desired to be come a detective. Going home, he retired to his room, and proceeded to examine the letter. The direction was as follows: MR. ALBERT SINCLAIR. General Postofflce, London, E. C. The postmark was that of Bayswater, and the date Jan. 10. Inside was the following letter: Bayswater, Jan. 10. Dear Albert: Meet Mary Owen as you promised me, and ask her to come at noon the day she gets the message. I have made a corner in some of the securities of which I spoke when at Tottenham the other week. If you court her," the house in Gloucester road shall be yours soon. On Monday, I expect to spend the evening with you without fail, and at that time 1 shall bring nine others. Expect us at 8 o'clock sharp. I shall then indicate to you how we had better divide the work, so that the profits may be large as possible. "JIM." 6. Bob read the letter over carefully sev el4l times, but could tiud nothing sus picious about It except the figure "6" in the lower right-hand corner of the page. This puzzled him not a little, and as he studied the letter more the convic tion grew upon bim that underneath this apparently Innocent communica tion there lurked some mysterious com munication, which might prove the key to a deed of villainy. In vain he puzzled over the letter; In vain tried every combination which his Ingenuity could suggest. He applied heat In hopes of bringing out a sympa thetic Ink; but again in vain. He went to bed that night thoroughly puzzled and almost discouraged. In the morning he again started to work, but in a more systematic manner. He tried every other line with no re sult; every third line, then every fourth line, and so on, but still with no result. Then he began and tried every Other word, but he met with failure. Just at this point the mysterious fig ure 6 caught his eye. He started, as a sudden thought struck him. Could this be the key to the mystery? He would try, and accordingly he began, and then, with the first word, took every sixth word of the letter. The result was certainly startling. When he finished he found that he had the following communication: Dear Albert: Meet me at the corner of Tottenham Court road, Monday evening at 9 o'clock, to divide profits. JIM. There evidently must have been some powerful motive of concealment here, else why should this note have been written, and the true meaning so care fully hidden? Bob felt much elated at his success, and determined to make one of the par ty at the corner of Tottenham Court road on Monday evening. On the appointed evening, a few mln ntes before 9 o'clock, a man was walk ing up and down the pavement at the rendezvous named In the letter. He was evidently expecting some one, and every few minutes would look at bis watch Impatiently. After be bad been waiting about ten minutes, anoth er man walked slowly up the street. The one who had been waiting ad vanced hurriedly, and seizing him by the arm, drew bim into the shadow of one of the bouses, and said, in a low, eager voice: "Well, what news?" "Nothing much," said the other man, "except that I have been unable to dis pose of all the swag." "How much money have you raised?" "One thousand pounds." "Good! You have some of the Jew elry still?" "Yes. I only sold the diamonds." "Do you think you can get rfB of the rest safely?" "No, not just now. I think we had better divide them just as Uiey are, and when the excitement is over we can dispose of tbem." "All right. You say you have one thousand in cash?" "Yes. Come down to John's and I'll give you your share." The men then started down the road together. No sooner had they moved off than a figure emerged from a dark doorway and followed them at a distance. The figure was that of Bob West brook. The men entered a door In front of which hung a m?d lamp. Following them Bob also entered. He found himself in a room which was partly a public bouse and partly a I ys. restaurant. On one side of the room were several stalls. In which were ta bles and seats. Curtains covered the front so that the occupants were con cealed from the view of those in the room. As Bob entered he saw the men whom he had been following enter one of the stalls. Ordering a milk punch he took his seat In the stall adjoining that which the men had entered. As he seated himself he heard the men on the other side of the thin board partition conversing In low tones. "The terms were share and share alike, so there are 500 for your share." "How much do you think the rest of the stuff ought to be worth?" "Fully 2,000, I think. We made a big haul this time." "Yes, and it was well done, too. 1 wonder how old Fairchild looked when he came down to the office in the morn ing, and found bis safe opened?" "He must have felt pretty bad, for I see by the papers that the police have no clew to the fellows who did the Job." "I don't think I ever did such a clean job or such a safe one. But when shall we diVide the jewelry?" "Meet me at the same place to-morrow night as you did to-night, and I will bring the swag with me. We can then go somewhere and divide." "AH right. What time?" "Nine o'clock same as to-night." "I'll be there. Good-night" So saying, the men left the saloon and separated. II. Bob felt that he had made an Import ant discoVery. About a week before a diamond and jewelry merchant off Hoi- born had been robbed of a large amount of Jewelry. The thieves had left noth ing by which they could be traced, and although Mr. Fairchild, the owner of HOW MUCH MONET HAVE TOU RAISED ? the place, had offered a large reward, they had thus far escaped detection. The following morning Bob walked into the Inspector's office. "Well?" said the Inspector. "I should like to have the use of three officers, In plain clothes, this evening, sir." "You have discovered something, then?" , "Yes, sir." "What is it?" "Will you be kind enough to permit me to defer an explanation until to morrow morning, sir? I wish to com plete the job before I make any re port" "Then you expect to capture the crim inals to-night?" "Yes, sir." "If you do so, I shall have to acknowl edge that you are a born detective. You shall have the men." That night Bob stationed his men out of sight near the doorway where he had hidden himself, on the preceding night and waited for the arrival of the thieves. He had arranged a signal with the men who were concealed, and at that signal they were to arrest the persons whom he designated. As the clock struck 9, the two thieves approached from different directions, and met at the corner. One of them carried a satchel, which was apparently very heavy, judging by the way In which he carried it As they stood a minute, talking, a drunken man came rolling down the street, and in endeavoring to pass them, gave a lurch, and struck heavily against the man carrying the satchel, almost knocking him down, and caus ing him to drop it "Whasser mean, sir, by (hie) get'n In a gentl'm'u's way? Yer drunk, sir (hlc)." "You fool, you're drunk yourself! Go on about your business!" So saying, the thief stooped to pick up his satchel, when a violent push from behind threw him flat upon the pavement At the same Instant a shrill whistle rang out upon the night air, and before the two thieves fully realized what had happened they were securely band cuffed and on their way to the station. Behind them walked Bob, carrying the satchel, and entirely recovered from the effects of the liquor from which he was apparently suffering only a moment before. The next morning Bob appeared at the inspector's office, carrying a satchel. The inspector looked up from bis desk, at which he was writing, and said: "Well, Westbrook, what have you captured? Something worth the trou ble, I hope?" "I don't know that it's much of a capture, sir," said Bob. "Well, what was It?" "Only the robbers of Fairchild's jew elry." The Inspector grasped him by the band and shook it warmly. "My dear fellow, permit me to con gratulate you! You have discovered what has puzzled some of the best men in the force. How did you do it?" Bob then related bis experience with the letter and his subsequent adven tures. When he had finished his story the in spector said: "Westbrook, from this hour you are detective, attached to the regular force. 1 think the thieves will have cause to rue the day." x The Inspector was right Many a criminal has Bob since brought to jus tice, and often have the criminal class es had cause to rue the day vvnen he was made a detective. Spare Moments. GENTLEMANLY WARRIORS Savages Supplied Their Enemies witb Food and Ammunition. We are accustomed to speak of the humane and chivalrous manner in which modern fighting Is carried on, and to congratulate ourselves upon tut advance which has been made in thi respect says the London Mail. But Is this advance as great and as real as we imagine? For example, how do our present-day customs of war com pare with the old-time fighting methods of the Maoris, the natives of New Zea land? It will surprise a good many people to hear that when a band of Maori warriors was going to tight the warriors of another tribe it was not unusual for the numbers It was pro posed to place in the field to be com municated to the enemy; moreover, one side often provided the other with arms and provisions, so that the enemy might not be placed at too great a dis advantage. Here are a few stories which illus trate the generosity which the Maoris of former days displayed toward theit enemies. A chief was asked why when on a certain occasion be had command of the road, he did not attack the am munition and provision trains of the English. The Maori, utterly astonished at such a question, exclaimed: "Why, you fool, if we had stolen their powder and food, how could they have fought?" Another chief, who considered that he bad been insulted by the chief of a neighboring tribe, said that the other chief, had he not been much the strong er of the two in arms and ammunition, would not have dared to act in so in sulting a manner. This speech came to the ears of the neighboring chief, who thereupon divided his arms and ammunition into two equal parts, and sent one-half, along with an invitation to fight, to chief No. 1. On another occasion a chief who was fighting against us, and who was short of guns and powder, sent this message to the governor: "My custom with re gard to my enemy Is, if he have not a weapon I give him one, that we may fight on equal terms. Now, O govern or, are you not ashamed of my defense less hands?" A clergyman who lived a long time in New Zealand relates how in one of the intertribal wars the be sieged sent word to the enemy that they were short of provisions, and the besiegers at once handed over a supply of food. WAYS OF TURKISH CENSORS. Violation of Their Rules Brines the Most Exemplary Punishment. It Is well for those having business with the Turks to have a good under standing of the laws and regulations in force in the sultan's domain if they would avoid trouble. An honest Ger man merchant met with a sad adven ture a few weeks ago on account ol something which he bad not dreamed of violating the laws of the Turkish censor. The German was In the porce lain business, and the only thing that he ever thought of writing was entries In bis ledger. But he got an ordei from a Turkish merchant for 25.00C coffee cups, and he .filled It, and straightway he became a violator ot literary laws. He had packed up the coffee cups in old German newspapers, and that settled it. The Turkish cen sor seized the whole shipment He in sisted on reading each newspaper, and only after he had become convinced that there was neither Intention not danger of smuggling insults of the sul tan or of his harem Into the country of the prophet was the shipment released. .Now the German is wondering wheth er, if he packs his next shipment in straw, the Turkish censfcr will hold it up as being a reflection on his mental furniture. Born in "No Man's Land." The doorkeepers of the United States Senate come in contact witb all sorts and conditions of men. When the Sen ate Is In session there Is an incessant demand by constituents to have their cards sent In. A strange-looking indi vidual who had been watching and lis tening in the east corridor said to a doorkeeper one day last weekj "I'd like to have you send In my card." "Which Senator do you wish to see?" "I don't care." "But you must send It to a particular Senator, you know. Which is your State?" "Got none." "Which territory?" "No territory." "Where were you born?" "In No Man's Land, before the strfp was ceded to the government by Texas. It's now a county in Oklahoma. ' And I thought as I had no country I'd come to Washington. You can keep the card and hand it to the first Senator you ketch. I think most any of 'em would like to meet a man like me." A Month Without a Moon. The month of February, 1866, was In one respect the most remarkable In the world's history. It had no full moon. January had two full moons and so had March, but February had none. Do you realize what a rare thing in Nature that was? It had not occurred since the creation of the world. And it will not occur again, according to the com putation of astronomers, for how long do you think? 2,500,000 years. No Birds in the White House It is a rule of the White House that no bird shall be allowed to warble, or even live, within its walls. The wife of President Hayes made this rule years ago, and It has been observed as a sacred precedent When Mrs. Cleve land first went to the White House to live after her marriage she had a pet canary. But the rule against birds was explained to her, and she gave the bird away. Rich People In Berlin. Berlin has fourteen persons whose an nual Income exceeds $250,000. There is electricity in a kiss, says a scientist. Perhaps that is why kissing shocks some folks. MANY MILLION PINS. SREAT NUMBER USED IN AMER ICA EVERY DAY. Daily Demand la Almost Fabulous Complex Processes Through., Which the Simple Little Implement Passe in the Course of Manufacture. It requires an average of more than twenty million pins per day to sustain the falling skirts, replace the missing suspender buttons and meet the other needs of the American people. What becomes of all these pins Is a question that nobody has been able to answer, but there is no falling off In the de mand, so that this number must dis appear in some manner every day. It is hard to imagine anything sim pler than a pin, and it is a striking proof of the complications of our mod ern industrial system that every pin in the course of its manufacture passes through a dozen separate processes, in volving the greatest skill on the part of the operatives employed and the action of a great amount of automatic ma chinery. The pin makes Its appearance at the factory In the form of barrels of coiled brass wire. The first process is that of straightening this wire. The coiis are placed on revolving racks, and fed from these into little machines, from the Vise-like grip of which they emerge perfectly straight. Thence the wire Is fed into the pin-making machine, which is almost as complicated as a printing press. A sharp knife cuts the wire off into uniform lengths of the de ;ired size. As each little length of wire Irops from the knife it falls upon a small wheel, the edge of which is aotched Into grooves just large enough to hold the bits of wire. Each piece is carried along by the wheel until an iron finger and thumb seize and hold it firmly, while an auto matic hammer, by a single smart blow, puts a head on one end. Then the em aryo pins fall upon another grooved tvheel, which revolves horizontally. As :hey move on In the clasp of this sec jud wheel the projecting ends pass )ver a number of circular steel files, which neatly grind tbem to a point. Further on they encouner a pumice stone, which smoothes off the filed end, ind then they drop into a wooden re ceiving box. So far no workman's band ias touched the pins in their progress from the reel. The cutting, heading, pointing and smoothing have all been lone by the wonderful automatic ma chinery. From the wooden boxes the pins go to the "whitening" room, where they are cleaned in revolving barrels filled with sawdust and receive a nickel coat ing In big vats. Then they are dried in the sawdust barrels and are run through a "sorting" machine. It Is im possible to get the better of this ma shine. The big department stores and whole sale dealers buy their pins by the case. A case contains 108 dozen papers, 360 pins in each paper. A single order from the largest stores usually calls for 100 cases, or nearly 50,000,000 pins. New York Herald. WORST PARASITES Upon the Human Race Are Aristocrats of China and Spain. The aristocracy of China are the most useless human beings in the world. It is no uncommon thing for the ancestors of some man who has done service to the state to be ennobled backward for several generations, and no aristocracy can be more useless than one which consists largely of those who are de ceased. Among more advanced nations the aristocracy of Spain is probably the most useless. The strain of Moorish blood running in many of the oldest families in that peninsula appears to conduce toward an indolent pride, which prevents their members from taking part in any professions but those of the army and navy now open to them to a limited extent The consti tution of 1876, by making the Upper House of the Cortes, or parliament, consist wholly of life members, and those mainly elective, deprived many aristocrats of the opportunity ' use fulness as politicians, while the back wardness of agriculture and the pov erty of much of the land are excuses given by others for not employing themselves upon their own estates. The Spanish noble, moreover, generally pre fers foreign health or pleasure resorts to his own country. An American who has spent more of bis life in Spain than in his own coun try recounts a conversation he had with one of Spain's greatest living statesmen about the Spaniard's nation al dream. . "Senor," said the Spanish grandee, "we do not want to shine as a commer cial nation. We do not like work'. We have in the past filled the proud posi tion of the greatest empire. It was very fatiguing. At the present day Spain has got back to her senses. We teach our youths to be refined to be gentle men." . ELOPEMENTS RARE IN FRANCE. Parental Consent Required No Matter What the Age of Parties. Elopements are of very Infrequent oc currence in France, a fact that Is due in large measure to the peculiarity of the French law pertaining to mar riages. Not only must the contracting parties up to any age have the writ ten consent of their parents, but also in case of the death of their parents they must obtain the consent of their grandparents. Here is a case Instanced by a correspondent whose friend Su zanne B. was engaged to Henri S Both were orphans, yet It was several months before the ceremony could be performed because of the number of papers and certificates which were nec essary for the celebration of their nup tials. No less than fourteen certificates were absolutely Indispensable, and Su zanne, as well as her fiance, was obliged to show In default of their parents' presence or written consent: First her father's death certificate; second, her mother's death certificate; third, her father's father's death certifi cate; fourth, her father's mother's death certificate; fifth, her mother's father's death certificate; sixth, her mothers mother's death certificate; , seventh, her own birth eerUficate. Sev eral months elapsed before all these papers could be got together. When at last all was ready Suzanne B. appeared at the malrie and Inquired when she might be married. "Have you the consent of your consell de fam ine?" (family council, which regulates the affairs of orphans and minors) was the question. "No. My parents died Intestate." "Then you can't be legally married." "But I have no consell de famllle." "Well, then, get one as soon as possible," was the reply. And poor Suzanne was forced to write to all her relatives In all corners of France many of whom she had never seen and ask tbem to come up to Paris to form a consell de familie. After much expense, worry and trouble, not to speak of lawyers' fees, etc., the various members of the consell de familie were at last collected together to give their consent to the marriage of Suzanne and Henrt. The French peasants who live near the sewage farms have entered a pro test because of the contamination of their wells. The population of the earth as esti mated by Ernest George Ravenstein some few years ago for the Royal Geo graphical Society was 1.487,900,000. The velocity of light is 192,000 miles in a secaid of time. From the sun light comes to the earth in eight min utes. From some of the fixed stars of the twelfth magnitude It takes four thousand years for the light to reach us. In the London Hospital for Consump tion the basis of treatment is rest in the open air, graduated exercise and good feeding. No window in the open air ward is ever closed, and during the cold weather the consumptive patients are kept warm with extra clothing and artificial heat. It is encouraging to note that practically all the early cases and 70 per cent of all cases Improve consid erably under the open-air system. Last summer a Norwegian mariner. Captain Grondahl, succeeding in trans porting two young musk-oxen alive from northeastern Greenland to Trom so. These are said to be the first living specimens of their species ever Ik ought to Europe. It is reported that they are doing well amid their new surround ings. The musk-ox. next to the white bear, is the largest land mammal In habiting the Arctic regions. It attains a height of nearly, or quite, four feet and is clothed by nature to endure ex treme cold. During the Arctic summer musk-oxen become very fat from feed ing upon the pasturage which grows In every sheltered spot, but In winter their long fasts make them gaunt and thin. Morris GIbbs describes what prob ably thousands of our readers have ob servedthe very curious hovering, or dancing, habit of a species of two winged flies, which assemble in groups of from 20 to 100 or more, In some spot sheltered from the wind, and indulge In a fantastic dance for hours at a time. The motions consist of alternate rising and falling in periods of a few seconds, and over a distance varying from one to four feet The insects seem to be come so Interested in their sport, if sport It Is, that they cannot be driven away from one another, but Immedi ately reform their companies when dis turbed. Many species of Insects have the babtt of hovering In the air, some in parties only and some singly. Recent experiments at Sheffield, Eng land, suggest the possibility that in the twentieth century shields may once more form an Important part of the equipment of an army. Steel shields, three millimetres in thickness and about 150 square Inches In area, have been devised, which afford complete protection against bullets fired from the service rifle at a range of 400 yards. The small size of the shield, which weighs only seven pounds, requires that the soldier shall lie prone on the ground in order to be sheltered. Each shield has a loophole for the rifle, and studs at the side so that a series of them can be linked into a continuous screen. The Idea Is that by the use of such shields the necessity of digging trenches may often be avoided. A Providential Escape. In "Manitoba Memories" Rev. George Young relates an experience of his boy hood which, he says, formed the turning-point In his career, and led him eventually to choose the life of a mis sionary in the north land. Early one stormy morning, when I was a boy, says Mr. Young, I was feed ing the cattle in the basement of a sta ble when a terrific wind-storm struck the building and crushed it like an egg shell. Hearing the crash of the falling and breaking timbers I fell on my knees In terror, and began to pray. In a moment as it seemed, the storm passed and stillness prevailed. I was completely encompassed by the broken timbers and the mows of hay and grain which had been stored In the upper part of the barn. I was in utter darkness, too, and at first completely dazed. Find ing myself unharmed, however, I re covered my senses and began to dig into the hay to escape. After a long struggle I worked myself free from the hay, and stood in the midst of the wreck. It was afterward ascertained how narrowly I had escaped being crushed to death by the falling timbers. Had I been standing at the moment I must have been killed. The space wherein I had knelt was about a yard square, and the only, place where I could have es caped instant death. Much was made of my remarkable escape, which I have always regarded as a direct interposition of Providence, and in consequence I have devoted my life to the Master's service. Big Apple Tree. A few years ago there was on a farm near Stuart, Va., an apple tree which produced at One bearing 130 bushels. It shaded at meridian ninety feet of ground In diameter. There is but one thing that women are more apt to discover than the faults of men and that is the faults of other women. The most of our troubles are two tbirds aoticiDatlon and one-third realization. RECENT INVENTIONS. For preserving timber from decay an Australian has patented a new treat ment, consisting of lmmers.'3 the tim ber in a solution of arsenous acid and an alkali until thoroughly impregnated, after which a coating of sulphate of copper Is applied. In a new boat-driving gear a short propeller shaft Is set In the rear of the boat, intermeshlng with a large gear wheel, mounted on a horizontal shaft with pivoted levers connected to the shaft by cranks to rotate the propeller and drive the boat. Clothes are automatically cleaned in a new wash boiler, which has a false bottom into which the water falls from the main boiler, with a series of tubes extending vertically to the top of the boiler, through which the water is driven by the Increased heat and steam la the false bottom. Leaves can be rapidly and cleanly picked up from lawns by an Ohio wom an's Invention, which has a large hop per mounted on wheels, with fan blades set in the mouth of the hopper close to the ground, to be rapidly revolved by gearing inside the wheels, thus fanning the leaves into the hopper. Dressmakers will appreciate a newly patented pair of scissors, which Is pro vided with a marking pencil set In a sleeve attached to one of the blades, with a tape measure secured to the op posite handle, designed to be opened in Une with the pencil point, to accurate ly mark the cloth for cutting. An adjustable spring for baby car riages has been patented by a Cana dian which can be increased in stiffness as the baby grows, having a duplex hinge joining the outer ends of springs, running from the frame and the body of the carriage, with means for adjust ing the movement of the binge. A new burglar alarm has two tele scoping tubes, with the end of one tube closed, and a piston mounted in the oth er tube which connects with a metallic contact spring to complete an electric circuit, a cord being run from the win dow or door to the closed tube, which moves the piston when the cord is dis turbed. In Germany a man has patented a reading or writing desk which will be found convenient for use when stand ing, having a flat tablet formed of sev eral sections hinged together, with braces and straps to hold the tablet in 1 convenient position for use, the whole folding in small compass to be carried In the pocket. Over and Over. William Hawley Smith, In his "Walks and Talks," tells of a remark made by an Irish friend, which might be ap plicable in many cases. He used to be very fond of hearing the bishop preach, and always went to service when that dignitary held forth. I met him on the street one Sunday when I knew the bishop was preaching, and asked him why he wasn't In his pew. To which he replied: "Troth, I don't go to hear the bishop ony more." "Why, what's the matter?" I said. "You haven't 'gone back' on a good man, have you?" "No," he arlswered, "but it's the truth I'm tellln' you, when you've heard the bishop a half-dozen times, all after that Is variations'" Quite Sufficient. An amusing clash of etiquette and wit is recorded as having taken place over the affairs of a wealthy English widow. Her husband had lately died, and she refused to let her hounds follow the hunt, contending that they should not be allowed to go out when they had been so recently bereaved of their mas ter. "Don't you think," said a sergeant at law, discussing the affair with a fa mous legal light, "that if the hounds bad each worn a band of crape around the neck, the impropriety would have been obviated?" "I hardly think the crape would have been a necessity," was the answer, "if the hounds had been in full cry!" Brief and Pithy. An American law journal has quotrd the charge to a jury delivered by a certain Judge Donovan, as the shortest charge on record. The judge said: "Gentlemen of the jury, if you be lieve the plaintiff, find a verdict for plaintiff, and fix the amount. If you believe the defendant, find a verdic t for defendant. Follow the officer." But an English periodical caps- this brief charge by quoting a shorter one, delivered by Commissioner Kerr. He said to a jury: "That man says prisoner robbed him ; the prisoner says he didn't. You set tle it." . Natural Hot Water Clock. One of the most curious clocks In the world, says Science Siftlngs, Is perhaps that which tells the time to the i nimbi t snts of a little American backwood town, and which was constructed some time ago. The machinery, which is Dothing but a face, hands and lever, is connected with a geyser, which shoots out an immense column of hot water every thirty-eight seconds. This pouting never varies to the tenth of a second. Every time the water spouts up Its strikes the lever and moves the bands forward thirty-eight seconds. Mary Johnson's Novel Damage Salt. A supreme court Jury has awarded the sum of $2,300 to one Mary Johnson as compensation due to her from the Nassau Railroad Company for injuries sustained under circumstances which ! are a menace to all patrons of the road. As a result of the sudden stoppage of I a car the plaintiff was heavily sat upon by a man unknown to her, but suffici I ently identified as being "a very fat man." Gotham's Heavy Expense Account Gross expenses of the State of New York in the year 1899, it is computed, amounted to $25,000,000, of which near ly 10 per cent, was necessary to pay the deficit of departments which ex ceeded in 1898, or In previous years, the appropriation made for them. In nine cases in ten, when a woman dies, the neighbors say that she could have been saved If her husband had gotten scared soon enough. Most men need a pair of pants that are neither too short nor too long.