ON THITHER COAST. Mew Gold Fields on the Siberian Shore Will Be Opened to Ameri can Miner. New gold fields rivaling in richness the deposits of Cape Nome will be opened to American miners, if the ex pectations of the members of the Rus sian expedition, which arrived in New York on the Campania, on its way to Northeastern Siberia, are fulfilled. Vladimir Wonlarlarsky, a colonel of the Russian Imperial Guard, obtained the concession of the Siberian tract which the expedition is to examine. There were more than 40 applicants for the grant, which had been sought with eagerness since the discovery of gold on the American side of Behring sea. By means of court influence, Wonlarlarsky carried off the prize. He formed a company in Russia, which planned the present expedition, headed by A. Bog rlanovitch, a Russian engineer. It ir understood that a subsidary company has been formed in England in con nection with the concession, but sec recy is maintained in regard to the English and American interests. Miners who have visited the SiberiaD coast by stealth have reported that it is practically the same as the Nome coast, consisting of a strip of beach, behind which lies a tundra, or belt of gold bearing sand. Many companies have been formed to work dredges and pumps off the coast of Cape Nome, in order to draw up the precious sand where it reaches the beach. It is expected that the operation of these appliances will be prevented by the beach miners, and that apparatus in which large capital has been invested will be idle, unless new fields are opened to it. If the ex pedition to Siberia finds what it ex pects, the company will invite pumps and dredges to cross to the Siberian shore and operate there upon payment of a royalty. Hooley, the English promoter, has nothing to do with the plan. George D. Roberts, who is a veteran California miner, will be a member of the explor ing party. Mr. Roberts has made a study of gold deposits in sea sands, and has a plan for detracting the gold from the frozen tundra. The expedition will sail from San Francisco about June 1 , after the Russians have conferred with the Russian minister at Washington. It will return about November 1, and expects then to make a complete report of the possibilities of the region. Mr. Roberts said today that, from information he had received, the de posit of gold on the Siberian coast promised to be the most valuable ever discovered. No attempt will be made to work the tundra this year, but the party hopes to be able to make some contracts with American owners of pumps and dredges. Northwest Notes. The Oregon Hopgrowers' Association last week sold 670 bales of hop9. A telephone exchange with 20 sub scribers is to be established in Canyon City, Or. The Umatilla Indians have invited the Nex Perces, of Idaho, to join them in a Fourth of July celebration that will last about a week. The Shamokawa, Wash., creamery is now turning out 175 pounds of gilt edge butter daily. It finds a ry.dy market in Portland at top-notch prices. The new creamery located at Nor way, Or., has commenced operations. The plant is complete in every respect and is in charge of a competent man ager. Camas Prairie, southeast from Hepp ner, Or., is a great dairy region, and 800 cows are being milked there. The creameries pay 62 to 82 cents per 100 pounds for milk. The original townsite of Prairie City, Or., was 80 acres. A land company has 'just platted additions to the extent of 364 acres, providing lib erally for depot grounds, repair shops, etc. Asotin, Wash., will soon have a bank, arrangements having been made to establish such an enterprise there by E. J. and W. L. Thompson, recently of Wisconsin. The bank will be organ ized under the state banking laws and will begin with a paid in capital of $25,000. The Anti-Saloon League, at Colfax, Wash., has a membership of about 80 persons, who are antagonistic to the saloon, and more especially to such as may violate the liquor selling laws. Active work is to be began by the organization against the liquor traffic in the near future. Grant county offered a reward of $450 for the recapture of Al Keeton, held for mnrder, and William Wallace, charged with horse stealing, and it was divided equally between William By ram and Ray Short, of Canyon City; Ed Luce and Hamp Officer, of John Day, and W. C. Gibbs, of Susanville. G. W. Kiger has a contract from the government to furnish 2,000 tons of rock to be placed behind the spur dikes recently constructed in Tillamook bay. As it is seen that the dikes are doing the work for which they were intended, the rock is for the purpose of making them permanent. Mr. Kiger will re ceive $1 a ton for the rook. Failing to get all the saw timber needed into the river last winter, be cause of laok of snow, William Codd, the Colfax sawmill owner, has deter mined to haul the necessary logs to water on wheels. An outfit of 10 or 12 big teams was sent into the woods on the upper Palouse river for this pur pose. The necessary feed and supplies were taken from Colfax. This will be a rather costly method oi floating saw logs, but the lumber demand is good and it it found necessary in order to meet the calls. A hardware man of Independence, Or., sold nine incubators and nine brooders recently, and the Inference is drawn that chickens will be numerous in that market this year. John S. Herrin, who owns one of the finest bands of sheep in the Rogue river valley, numbering 2,500 head of the French merino breed, is engaged in shearing, having a force of six men. He has introduced a cheep shearing machine, ran by footpower, the three clippers being the first in this section. aer take off more wool than the old BRADSTREET'S REPORT. Wheat Higher on Unfavorable C op Reports . Bradstreet's says: Continued dull ness in many branches and a further shading in several staple lines consti tute the leading features in the busi ness situation this week. The weak ness of prices is displayed in lower quo tations for corn, pork, butter, cheese, wool and cotton among the great agri cultural products and petroleum and lead among the mineral products. Wheat is slightly higher, partly owing to less favorable crop reports here and abroad. Continued dryness in the Northwest has given the spring wheat situation a less satisfactory appearance and there is little improvement noted in the winter wheat sections of the central west. It is doubtful, however, if the dry weather has as yet really affected the spring wheat, the chief complaint coming from the lumber in terests, which report low streams inter ferring with the forwarding of supplies. The industrial situation is, on the whole, rather much better than for some time past, in that new disturb ances are fewer and some old ones have been settled. But practical tie-ups in Chicago are still unbroken. At St. Louis all kinds of business have been hurt by the strike of street railway employes, and uncertainty at other cities, particularly in the building trade, has had an unsettling effect upon lumber. Wheat, including flour, shipments for the week aggregate 5,178,422 bush els, against 3,480,574 bushels last week. Business failures in the United States for the past week number 155, as com pared with 174 last week. Failures in the Dominion of Canada are slightly more numerous, numbering 24 for the past week, againstl9 last week. PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Markets. Onions, $9. Lettuce, hot house, 40 45c doz. Potatoes, $16 17; $17 18. Beets, per sack, 50 60c. Turnips, per sack, 4060c. Carrots, per sack, $1. Parsnips, per sack, 50 75c. Cauliflower, California 85 90c. Strawberries $2.25per case. Celery 40 60c per doz. Cabbage, native and California, $1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Apples, $2.002.75; $3.003.50. Prunes, 60c per box. Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c; dairy, 1722c; ranch, 1517c pound. Eggs 18c. Cheese tT45c. Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c; spring, $5. Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00 12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $18.00 19.00 Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled or ground, per ton, $20. Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, $3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $30.00. Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef steers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, Sj4 10c. i Hams Large, 13c; small, 13; breakfast bacon, 12Hc; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 51 52c; Valley, 52c; Bluestem, 54c per bushel. Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham, $2.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 86c; choice gray, 83c per bushel. Barley Feed barley, $14 14.50; brewing, $16.00 16.50 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $9 1 1 ; clover, $7 T.50; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton. Butter Fancy creamery, 3035c; seconds, 45c; dairy, 25 80c; store, 22M25c. Eggs 13c per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c; Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $4.00 4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs, $2.503.50; geese, $6.50 8.00 forold; $4.506.50; ducks, $6.007.00 per dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c per pound. Potatoes 40 65c per sack; sweets, 82c per pound. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c; per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab bage, lc per pound; parsnips, 75; anions, 8c per pound; carrots, 50c. Hops 2 8c per pound Wool Valley, 12 13c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 27 80c per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers md ewes, 3c; dressed mutton, 7 1 Q per pound; lambs, 5c. Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $5. 00 6. 50 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50; cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 6 7 o per pound. Veal Large, 6M7c; small, 8 g per pound. Tallow 55Kc; No. 2 and grease, 3 4c per pound. Ban Francisco Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 14 16c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; Val ley, 20 22c; Northern, 10 12c. Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c per pound. Butter Fancy creamery 1717c; do seconds, 1616c; fancy dairy, 16c; do seconds, 14 15c per pound. Eggs Store, 15c; fancy ranch, 17c. Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 ao.00; bran, $12.5013.50. Hay Wheat$6.509.50; wheat and cat $6.009.00; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.006.50 per ton; straw, 25 40c per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore gon Burbanks, 70c$1.00; river Bur banks, 40 75c; Salinas Burbanks, 80c1.10 per sack. Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia, $2.753.25; Mexican limes, $4.00 5.00; California lemons 75c$1.60; do choice $1.752.00 per box. Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50 2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 662C per HOUSE FOR PIGEONS. FLOCKS SHOULD HAVE A HOME OF THEIR OWN. A. Large Number of the Birds May Be Kept in One House if It Is Ar ranged in the Proper Manner Cats Their Foe. Cats are too fond of pigeons to be permitted to get anywhere near them, and In the arrangement of a house for these birds care Is to be taken that these animals cannot disturb them. 1'or a small flock a small house may be made round or with eight sides, and with three or four floors. Each side will have a door for the pigeons to enter, and this house is set on a pole firmly placed in the ground and eight feet high or so, and having two cross bars safely fitted to It so that a ladder may be used to get up to the EXTERIOR OF PIGEON HOUSE. bouse. This will do for a dozen birds, half males and half females, for pig eons pair, and each pair must have its own nest For larger flocks a house may be made on the top of a barn, and if the barn has a cupola on top of it, this is the very thing. Twenty, or even forty pigeons may be kept In such a place, but It will be necessary to have a trap door at the bottom which must be care fully closed every time the house is left, after having been visited. But larger flocks may have to be provided for. and a small flock will soon become a large one, for although these birds have only two young ones in the nest, yet they will nest several times In the year, and the young ones soon go to keeping house for them selves. A large number of pigeons may be kept In one house if it is arranged in a proper manner. And pigeons if left to themselves will soon bring their owner into trouble, for they are apt to go on to neighbors' newly sown fields, and gather up the seed with much Indus try. This, however, is easily prevent ed, for these birds love to stay about their home, and if they are regularly fed they will not wander away after food. But if it Is thought that the home fields may be Injured by the birds, it may be said that where pig eons have had full opportunity to run over wheat or oat fields (or peas, of which they are extremely fond), yet the seed they eat Is well spent on them, for as a rule the thinning of the seed will increase the crop, so that the yield at harvest time is often much larger than it would have been but for the pigeons thinning out the seed. If the pigeon house is kept at the barn, or on It, the birds will not wander away to the fields, unless to one quite close to them. A house large enough for a hundred pigeons is shown in the draw ings, both the outside and inside of it. The house is ten by eight feet and the walls are eight feet high. The ar rangement of the inside Is shown In figure 2. The nest boxes are placed on shelves fastened to the sides of the bouse, and a roosting platform is made In front of the shelves. The shelves are supported by props, and the little doors on the outside open on to them. There is a box in the house in which food Is kept for use in stormy weather when the birds do not wish to go out. To get a good view of the inside of the house, bend one hand so as to make a short of tube to look through, and use one eye only, shutting the other. This makes the perspective very plain, and shows just how the house would look if one were in it. Of course these birds, like all others, must be kept very clean, and the house should be swept and sanded twice a week. It will be the least trouble to do 't every day, when a few minutes will suffice to do the work. The floor should be sanded after every sweeping, and the nests should be dusted with a mix ture of sand and fine gravel, wood ash as and sulphur. There will be no trou ble with vermin If thorough cleanliness is observed and above all things the sweepings of the house should be dis posed of safely In the barnyard or away from the house, for there Is noth- TNTEBIOB OF PIGEON HOUSE. tng more likely to harbor lice or fleas md supply a breeding-place for them, than the sweepings of the house. The nest boxes are each four feet long, nine Inches wide, six inches high in the front, and ten inches in the rear. They are divided by partitions Into five apartments, each having a separate en trance, which is four and a half Inches high, and three wide. The picture shows only one side of the house, the other side is fitted In precisely the same way, and the ends may be occupied by nests as the stock Increases. The two sides will bold fifty nests, and if the ends of the house and the gables are furnished in the same way a hundred and fifty pigeons may be kept in a house of this size. Pigeons should be fed four times a day If they are expected to stay at home. If not fed they will wander a long distance, staying away the great er part of the day, and returning at night to their homes. There is very little trouble and quite a satisfactory profit in rearing them, for there Is al ways a demand for them in the poul try markets and at the country hotels and boarding bouses, so that while enjoyed, quite a little money may be made as well. But we may be sure that this result will not happen unless the right attention is given, and this includes regular feeding, and watering, the right kind of food, especial cleanli ness in the house, and protection from cats and winged enemies. MISTAKE OF A NEWSAGENT. His Bucolic-Looking; Customer Was a Chicago Detective in Disguise. When the west-bound New York spe cial on the Michigan Central stopped at Dowaglac, Mich., last Wednesday an elderly man, who possessed all the outward characteristics of a country man, boarded the train and took a seat in the smoker. He announced in a loud voice to the traveling man across the aisle that he was coming to Chicago to see his boy. He also gave out the in formation that this was his first trip to the city. The news agent heard him and gave the wink to the commercial traveler. It had been a bad trip for the agent and he expected to unload a good share of his stock on the man from Dowa glac. He tried unsuccessfully to sell him maps, views of Chicago, photo graphs of celebrities, and other things. The countryman's purse remained closed. Presently the wise butcher passed down the aisle with a basket of apples on his arm. He stopped before the Dowaglac man's seat, leaned over, and said, loud enough to be heard from one end of the car to the other. "Apples, three for a cent," and passed on. Now, as a matter of fact, his apples were selling at the rate of three for a dime, and everybody knew it. His offer to the "yeoman" was unnoticed apparent ly by that party. In a few minutes the agent returned from his trip through the train, and the countryman beckoned to him. "Gi'me six apples," he said, and held out his hands to receive them. "All right; three for a dime," the butcher said, as he took six Northern spies from his basket and dropped them into the passenger's lap. "Now, young feller," said the Do waglac man, "when you pranced through here a minute ago you offered the fruit to me three for a cent. Here's 2 cents for six. Now, run, along and be good." "No, you don't " But the agent was interrupted by the loud shouts of the other passengers, and retreated to the baggage car. And George Tousley. the Chicago de tective, who had been in Dowaglac on business, divided his six apples with the commercial traveler. Chicago In ter Ocean. A CUBAN BEAUTY. Senora Abreu Is Rich, Charming, Dem ocratic and a Widow. Senor Rosa Abrue is the richest and probably the most beautiful woman in in Uncle Sam's new possessions. She Is the queen of Cuba society and is a "Cuba llbre" democrat from the crown of her head to the tip of her pearl-encrusted slipper. And she is a widow. She is possessed of a plantation near Havana covering an area of 20,000 SENORA ROSA ABREIT. acres under perfect cultivation devot ed to coffee growing. Her Income, as may be imagined, is enormous. During the Cuban-Spanish war her plantation was idle, most of her 500 workmen having gone to the front. But the patriotic beauty paid every one his wages all for the good of her coun try's cause. This charming woman lives In a magnificent mansion at Cerro, a pretty little suburb of Ha vana. Her drawing-rooms are noted for their splendor and exclusiveness, and officers of the army and navy vie with one another for her favor. But as yet she is heart whole, and, it is freely said, she is by no means unwilling to change her condition in life when she can find a man who will realize her ideal. She Is especially fond of Amer icans because, she says, Americans "can achieve great deeds," while Cubans and Spaniards can only sigh and play upon a mandolin or guitar. Stand Up to Fit a Shoe. "People would find less difficulty with ready-made shoes," said the experi enced salesman, ''if they would stand up to fit them on Instead of sitting down. Nine persons out of ten, partic ularly women, want a comfortable chair while they are fitting a shoe, and it is with the greatest difficulty you can get them to stand for a few min utes even after the shoe Is fitted. Then, when they bedn walking about, they wonder why the shoes are not so com fortable as they were at first trial. A woman's foot is considerably smaller when she sits In a chair than when she walks about. Exercise brings a larger quantity of blood into the feet, and they swell appreciably. The muscles also require certain space. In buying shoes this fact should be borne in mind." A Legitimate Business. From the district court at the national capltol comes the judgment that the sale of newspapers on the streets is a legitimate business, and that newsboys have a right to enter street cars and sell papers to passengers, provided they behave themselves and leave the car when their business is finished. One newsboy was forcibly ejected from a car in Washington some time ago, and had a leg crushed by a car running on the other track. He has just obtained an award of five thousand dollars dam ages from a jury, with Instructions to RAISING OF BELGIAN HARES. A New Industry in Southern California That Is Proving Profitable. It is not difficult to become a Bel gian hare fancier; all one has to. do is to get a pair of hares. To the inquir ing skeptic the only objectionable fea ture of the fad that now dominates Southern California is the dreadful possibility of the industry. One of the foremost breeders of Los Angeles has made a table of calcula tions showing that if there were no in terference one pair of rabbits in five years' time would have 5,000,000,000, 000 descendants. Fortunately, how ever, the butcher and the furrier form an interference to the outcome of this calculation, else humanity would be shoved off the globe and this earth be come one vast hutch. It is this extraordinary willingness of the little creatures to increase and multiply that provides the large profits made in their breeding. In and about Los Angeles there are now ovei 600 "rabbitries," as they are called, each of which contain from 50 to 500 head of valuable stock; a careful estimate puts the number of high grade rabbits in Southern California at 360,000. The occupation is the subject ol newspaper jest and topical song hu morist, and in many respects partakes in a spectacular manner of the craze for town lots which swept over South ern California in 1887 like a financial sirocco. The hare faddists, however, claim with reason that there is no speculative feature about their occupa tion and that there can be no danger ol disaster. Hares can be eaten and are eagerly sought for as an article of food; their pelts are of value, bringing from 25 cents to several dollars each, accord ing to quality. These in the hands ol skillful farriers make sealskin garments and muffs almost as beautiful as the real thing. In the city markets the flesh of these creatures is as surely found as the roast of beef or the leg ol mutton. It is very popular and the tourist is sure to demand it when he hears encomiums of it uttered by gourmets. It is from the demand for blooded stock that most of the money comes. The services of high grade bucks bring their owners in as much as $4,000 a year. And the aristocratic does are even more profitable. Here is the case of one that was shown at the recent Hare Exposition of Los Angeles. She is named Red Riding Hood, and her owner refused a cash offer of $1,500 for her. This seems like a fabulous price for a rabbit, but the declination of the offer can be more readily under stood when it is stated that the owner obtains an income from this doe alone of $3,000 to $3,500 a year by the Bale of her progedy. These figures make the rabbit about the only creature in the world worth its weight in gold. While the industry has only been seriously taken up for a little over a year, experts say that there was at least half a million dollars' worth of the stock on show at Hazard's pavilion; by the time the next show is held it is safe to state that the value of the stock will be three times that amount. It is difficult to get any average state ment of profits from the business, for it is too young, and those that follow it have not got the experience that in sures an evenness of income. It can be seen at once, however, that there must be a good profit under even ad verse circumstances, and ordinarily a large return on the investment. The capital required is almost nothing. A pair of Belgian hares, a dry goods box for a butch, arid a city lot can produce enough feed for the stock. The pelts bring from 25 cents to a dollar each, while the carcass for meat will bring from 50 cents to 75 cents, and for very large, fat creatures even a dollar. As a doe will have from eight to 15 at a litter five or six times a year, the prob lem of making money resolves itself simply into the provision of sufficient space for the youngsters to frisk about in. The absence of hard work, the neces sary neatness and cleanliness and the ease with which one can engage in. the business have of course attracted women, so it is thought that fully half of the rabbitries of this locality are in the hands of women; and the most striking cases of success are among that sex. ' Dr. Elmer Piatt, general manager of the American Breeders of Belgian Hares, considers that the industry is just in its infancy. "A new feature that our organization intends to take up," he said recently, "will be the canning of hare meat and the tanning of their hides. . In both of these branches there is good money to be made in fact, the possibilities of the business are just beginning to be ap preciated. The industry has passed the fad stage and now has assumed the proportions of an important commercial factor." The Belgian hare show will be an annual feature in Los Angeles, and will be held in San Francisco, Seattle, New York, Chicago, St. Paul and other places. ': - Family Resemblance. A young gentleman took his little sister with him while calling the other evening at a house where he is a regu lar visitor. The little girl made her self quite at home, showing great fond ness for one of the young ladies, hug ging her heartily. "How very affectionate she isl" said the lady o? the house. "Yes; so like her brother!" re sponded the young lady, unthinkingly. LET US ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over Sayings that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young Funny Selec tions that You Will Enjoy. But I cannot engage you as a house maid when you tell me yourself that my friend across the street discharged you for eavesdropping." "But the temptation was so great. You see, you don't know what it was I heard." "On second thought, I will employ you. Run and take off your hat" New York World. Went Too Far. Jilted lover Why, why do you give me up, Marguerite? Do I not carry out your slightest wish? I would give up my last penny for you my last crust of bread I would run my very feet off :o do your bidding. Marguerite That's just It. I cannot bring myself to marry a man who is so easily led. New York World. A Great Difference. "Jerry Pontoon, tell us something about Oliver Cromwell." "Which version, ma'am?" "I don't understand." "Magazine or history?" Too Bad. Rooster Why, what brought you to the place of solitary confinement? Hen Bad judgment. Rooster How's that? Hen I roosted too low down. Expensive Economy. "Madge, we can't afford new clothes this spring." "Well, then, Albert, we must move. I don't mind wearing my old duds in a new neighborhood, but I won't stay here and wear them." Indianapolis Journal. Amenities of the Club. Mrs. A. Who on earth is Miss Jen kins in mourning for that she perpetu ally dresses in black? Mrs. B. Her husband. Mrs. A. Why, she never had any. Mrs. B. I mean the one she has sought for all her life and never found. New York World. The Telltale Compliment. "Dear me! I must be getting old." "What makes you think so?" "People have begun congratulating me on holding my own." Had a Pretty Good Hunch. "How did you come to pluck up enough courage to propose to Miss Frisble, Bunting?" "Well, she suggested that I had bet ter not send her an expensive valentine this year, but save my money to go to housekeeping," confessed Bunting. Detroit Free Press. On State Street. "You say he bowed to me, Jen? Well, I don't want any of his old bows." "Then why don't you return them ?" Unabashed. Good Man I fear that you have been drinking hard of late, my man? Larry Niver a dhrop, yer riverlnce. Good Man But your nose is very, very red. Larry Oi big ye'r pardon, yer river lnce, It's anly th' reflection from th' rid flannils Ol wear. No Fun for the Purse. "Did you go to the girls' college ben efit supper, major?" "Yes, little gal." "They say it was a circus, major?" "No, It wan't, little gal. If it had only been a circus I could have bought a bag of rancid peanuts for a nickel, Instead of paying 50 cents for a burnt ball of popcorn." Obituary. Editor Callowman, the cigarette fiend, Is dead. Publisher I can't help It. Editor But he always paid up his subscription. Publisher Then I guess we'd better give him a puff. Soon to Be Accommodated. "Yes," said the sentimental Filipino, "there's nothing more pleasant than a sylvan retreat." "I'm glad you like the Idea," an swered the general. "We take to the woods again to-morrow." Washington Star. Soared. Quinn The money Simms had in bank went up the first year. De Fonte What happened the sec ond year? Quinn Why, the bank went up. A Cheap Extrication. "How did you finally get rid of that man who wanted you to become a mill ionaire by letting him put you in on the ground floor of a mining scheme?" "Oh, I gave him 25 cents to buy his lunch." Chicago Times-Herald. Electrical Disturbance. Hardacre I reckon Zeke Grublot was surprised to find he could buy a lightning rod from the agent for $2." Crawfoot, Why, man, he was thun derstruck. Those Dear Girls. Miss Chellus What a lovely piece of lace that is. Miss Amy Bell Yes, Isn't it? Mam ma gave me that when I first came out. Miss Chellus Really? How well it has worn! Philadelphia Press. Ostend's Idea. "Ostend, take this sprinkler and wa ter the rubber plant." "What's the use, maw? Anything -I IcSmkm hi ir St i "'"yiT" !tpffiHjfe' ibber Is waternroor." Superfluous Effort. "Here's a quarter for you, poor man," said the sympathetic old lady, "and I hope you will stick to your resolve nev er to be dishonest." "I will, mum," responded Weary Wiggins. "Wot's der use ov stealin' when yer kin git money dis easy." Philadelphia Record. An Innovation. Ida A bicycle suit of khaki would be just the thing. May I don't see why? Ida It wouldn't show the mud. Two Uplifters. "What!" exclaimed the orator, "what two things are helping mankind to get up in the world?" "The alarm clock and the steplad der," answered the dense person in the rear of the hall. Baltimore American. A Slash at His Beard. He Miss Simpson, I'm a self-made man. She Yes? Well, why didn't you study the fashion plates in regard to whis kers? Chicago Record. Had One at Home. A class was being examined In spell ing the other day, when the teacher questioned a little girl as follows: "Ethel, spell kitteu." "K, double 1, double t, e-n," replied Ethel. "Kitten has two i's then, has it?" said the teacher. "Yes, ma'am," answered Ethel, con fidently; "ours has." Papa In for It. "Mamma, what would you do if that big vase In the parlor should get brok en?" said Tommy. "I should whip whoever did it," said Mrs. Banks, gazing severely at her lit tle son. "Well, then, you'd better begin to get up your muscle," said Tommy, "coz papa's broke it." The Agony of Fear. Benevolent Old Gent Are you not afraid you will fill a drunkard's grave? Thirsty Thingumbob Not on yer life. De fear wot haunts me dreams is dat I'll die sober. Philadelphia Record. Knew His Products. "He writes for the funny papers." "Yes; It must be a funny paper that will print anything he writes." Phila delphia Bulletin. Desperate Economics. "Joe, there's a collar and cuff trust started." "Oh, gracious! I've been turning mine upside down; and now I suppose I'll have to turn them inside out." Indianapolis Journal. A Pleasant Reckoning. "It is queer about Cousin Valeria's old admirers." "What is queer?" "Why, the further she gets away from them the more numerous they ap pear to her." Shouldn't Ask Foolish Questions. Mabel Do you believe the peace con ference will accomplish anything, Mr. Bohawk? Mother Don't be silly, Mabel! Mr. Bohawk Is the leader of our church choir. New York Press. Annihilation Obstrncted. The dog Just my luck! They've gone and fenced that lion in so's I can't get at him! A Heartfelt Definition. H "Say, pa, what Is an adult?" "An adult, Jimmy, is a person who doesn't kick out a good pair of shoes every two weeks." Two Heads on One Pair Shoulders. "I peeped into the parlor as I came along the hall," remarked Mr. Famli man, "and I saw quite a strange freak of nature." "Really?" exclaimed Mrs. Famliman. "Edith is there with her young man." "Yes, I saw two heads on one pair of shoulders." Philadelphia Press. Arousing the Cook. Stubb I compel our cook to keep an alarm clock In her room. Penn Does the gong arouse her? Stubb No; but It arouses my wife and then she goes up two flights of stairs and raps on the cook's door. i Magnified Admiration. "When would you call a man really great?" "When he gets to be as great as his ten-year-old nephew thinks he is." Chicago Record. Marvelous Speed of Arcturus. On a summer evening you may see Arcturus high up in the south or south west In June or July, and further down in the west in August or Septem ber. You will know it by Its red color. That star has been flying straight ahead ever since astronomers began to observe it at such a speed that it would run from New York to Chicago in a small fraction of a minute. You would have to be spry to rise from your chair, put on your hat and overcoat and gloves and go out on the street while it was crossing the Atlantic ocean from New York to Liverpool. And yet if you should watch that star all your life, and live as long as Methuselah, you would not be able to see that it moved at all. The journey that it would m&kfi in 1,000 years would be as nothing alongside its distance. Youth's Com panion. , Russia's Asiatic Possess! ns. Russia's Asiatic possessions ire three times the size of Great Britain's, but hold only 23,000,000 Inhabitants, as compared with Great Britain's 297,00r 000 subject