THE COLUMBIAN.
V
Published Evxby Fp.idat,
AT
ST: HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OIL,
7
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Published Every Friday,
at
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
BY
. 0. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor
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VOL. V.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, NOVEMBER 7, 1884.
NO. U.
THE COLUMBIAN.
iUM
OUR HOPES.
The past from our hearts has receded,
The future is all that remains.
Our life towards the ocean is ebbing,
The star of our destiny wanes.
Our hopes, let us carry them with us
Like leaves that are borne by the waves,
The saddest of earthly deceivers,
Let us hide them away in our graves.
OWLS AS PETS.
Their Solemnity to be JBelled On,
Bat Their Voire Against Them.
New York Sun.
"Are owls ever caught to be sold as
pets?"
"Yes, occasionally. The best way to
catcli tLm ir to . surprise them in r.
ii-t in iJ& old JSUiow tree. . Boys tie a
stocking to the end of a long pole and
run the pole cautiously down the in
side of the tree through the opening.
Instinctively the old owl, to protect her
young, turns on her back in the mid
dle of the nest, and is ready, with her
claws in the air, to fight anything that
that comes. Slowly the stocking de
scends, and as it touches the bird the
strong claws and beak are tearing it to
pieces. The boy pulls on the pole, and
the owl is so busy fighting and sputter
ing that it is at the top and in the boy's
arms before it shall I say tumbles?
Then the boy has to look out for him
self. If he escapes with torn clothing
while he is descending the tree and put
ting the owl in a big he is a lucky boy.
"They are usually kept in a parrot
cage," continued the naturalist. "All
my birds are very tame, and will sub
mit to be tic kled on the head, and, I
Bnspect, rather like it, though they look
so solemn all the while that I laugh
outright sometimes at the notion of
toying with a thing that has eye like
saucers and seems to be perpetually
meditating on the infinite. Their tem
pers vary. The European horned owl
sets up a fierce hissing, snapping, and
barking noise when first captured, or
when provoked with a stick. The
American great horned owl barks like
a dog, and, when it lets itself loose,
gets to be a nuisance in the house, for
it can hallo with a loud hoo-hoo-hoo-e,
and can imitate to perfection the
screams and gurglings of a chok
ing or drowning person. The screech
owl is easily tamed and is gentle.
The Acadian owl is the only kind of
owl in this country which .wanders into
cities. It is caught occasionally in old
belfries or in deserted or unoccupied
houses. It is seeking for mice. It
makes a noise like a saw-mill at work,
and is commouly known as the 'Saw
whet' owl. On that account it is ob
jectionable as a pet. The barred owl
found in the southern states makes a
sound like an affected laugh. It is
called the buffoon of the woods. Some
people keep it in their houses to catch
mice."
"Can owls learn tricks?"
"Yes, some simple ones, like eating
out of your hand, seizing the end of a
rope in your hand and letting you swing
them around in a circle, coming to you
at the sound of their name, climbing
the balustrade in your hall, or jumping
through a hoop. The solemn air they
carry all the while makes them
amusing."
Spain's Government Cigar Factory.
Chicago Tribune.
Miss Emma Stratton, of New York
city, writes --a letter from Seville de
scribing the government cigar factory
of Spain, 700 fet long and almost as
wide, very dirty, and in the vestibule
250 girls make cigarettes, all talking as
loud as they want to ; 100 girls in the
next room doing the same; and on the
next floor 3,000 women as close as sar
dines in a box, in a single room, making
cigars, some having their babies with
them not a month old, and dogs lying
on the tobacco stems. The women were
divided up into sevens at each table,
three on each side and the mistress at
the top. Around each table were
shelves against stone pillars, on which
lay children's shoes, Bocks, and clothes.
There were stone jars of water here
and there for drinking, and the air was
stilling, and the buzz of conversation
' only bronen by the wail of the babies.
The floor was dilapidated, and it was
possible for an incautious visitor to fall
through. Two other side apartments
100 feet long were both packed with
laborers. The factory consumes 10,
000 pounds of tobacco a day, and em
ploys over 5,0 JO persons, who receive
50 cents a day for twelve hours' work.
The matron at each table gets her pay
from the women she commands. The
pirls and the super.ntendents had very
little manners.
Comments on the Corpse.
Nieuwe Amsterdamsche Courant.
When any one dies they ask in France :
"How old was he?" In Germany:
"What complaint did he die of?" In
America they say: "A good thing he is
dead at last V In Italy : "Poor fellow !"
In Russia: "He doesn't need to work
any more ; he is well off!" In Holland
they ask: "How much money has he
left?" and in England: "Was he in
sured ?"
His Beautiful Cane.
Arkansiiw Traveler.
A horrible story has just reached us.
During the recent cold weather, an
Arkansas man, while walking along a
road, found a beautiful cane with bright
colors. After walking with it all day,
he went home and stood it in the corner.
Presently it climbed down and crawled
under the house. He had been walking
with a frozen snake.
P.T. Harnam'H Wealth.
-P. T. Barnum is a stockholder in two
sewing machine companies ; owns three
newspapers, two of -which are in
Bridgeport ; about four hundred houses,
numerous vacant lots, and a cattle
ranch. He has 1,000 lots in Denver. A
building owned by him in New York
pays him a rental of $05,000 a year.
Paris' Bad Wine.
Six hundred and fifty bottles of
wine, bought in different parts of Paris,
have been analyzed at the municipal lab
oratory, aud the wine was pro iounced
pure in only sixty cases.
Arkansaw Traveler: When I see a
o:ai d t alius 'wants ter pray, I some
how kaiu' he'p thinkin' dat he's done
su thin' dat he wants de Lawd ter wipe
out.
MME. AUGUSTE'S LION.
N.O. Times Translation from Horace Bertin.
I.
She had come, one summer Sunday,
to erect her canvas booth under the
poplars of the village of Lo Cours, not
very far from the church. On either
side of the entrance there was a flaring
painting representing lions of enormous
sie, with open jaws and waving manes
rising upon their hind legs as though
seeking to devour the spectators. The
peasants, especially the women, felt
cold chills run down their backs ; and
in spite of the pressing appeals of the
doorkeeper, no one dared for a long
time to enter the interior.
At last when the Ijix-collector, who
was an ex-oifieer of zouaves made up
his mind to cross the threshold of the
menagerie, some of the villagers sum
moned up courage enough to follow
him.
A boy moved back a sliding partition
in the cage, and poked a big iron pitch
fork between the bars. Then a lion
was seen to rise up painfully an aged
lion, all broken down and worn out a
blear-eyed lion, whose fur was meagre
and filthy, and whose tail was all raw,
excoriated, scabby. When he yawned,
only a few stumps of teeth were visible
in his jaws. Madame Auguste drew
a curtain aside, and introduced herself
to the public. She had a thin face
scarred with smallpox, and a nose like
an eagle's beak. Her faded velvet
bodice and tights speckled with grease
spots, nevertheless excited the admira
tion of the country people. She
entered the cage, brandishing a whip.
The lion uttered a feeble roar. There
was a timid shrinking toward the door
way on the part of thespectators and
some of the peasant women even had
one foot on the street. A little girl
sobbed with terror, aud pulled at her
mother's dress.
Madame Auguste, however, flogged
the old lion ; and the animal finally re
signed himself to the duty of leaping
over a bar ; but only to lie down again
immediately at the further end of his
cage. Then the lion-tamer crouched
down before the animal, and, opening
his mouth, thrust her pitted face again
against his jaws. All the spectators
uttered a cry of horror, and the women
rushed out in affright, communicating
their panic to the whole crowd of
urchins gathered at the door. A few of
the men, seeing that the tax-collector
merely shrugged his shoulders, held
their ground. Madanie Auguste then
arose with a smile, and the performance
was over.
As they went out the country folks
discussed the wonderful courage of the
lion-tamer ; and continued to ask one
another whether the bars of the cage
were really strong enough.
The tax-collector was the only one
who had a hard word for the lion, when
they talked the thing over among his
own circle. "He's limp as an old tobacco-quid,"
said he to the notary and
the druggist; "I've seen a very differ
ent kind of lions in the province of Con
stantino 1"
ii.
Three o'clock had just struck. The
men of the village were amusing them
selves in various ways; some playing at
piquet in the tavern, others at ten-pins
on the public road. The women were
hurrying by to disappear within the
doors of the church, where vespers were
commencing. The peal of bells from
the steeple alone broke the silence of
Le Cours, which soon appeared com
pletely deserted. Behind the canvas
booths a thin column of smoke was
rising from the roof of the canary
colored wagon, with its shafts in air.
Madame Auguste was cooking in her
traveling-car.
The menagerie was tranquil; the old
lion continued to sleep, and the menag
erie boy had gone to the inn to see
whether Madaine Auguste's horse and
mule had received their peck of oats.
But after a little while, the lion
teased and harassed by flies, opened
one eye, moved his tail, and rubbed his
head against the bars. Forthwith the
barred door by which Madame Auguste
had entered the cage moved upon its
hinges, and stood ajar. It had not
been properly secured, and nobody
had observed the fact not even the
lion, who had lain down more content
edly than usual after the departure of
his mistress. The captive pushed his
muzzle against the door, looked before
him, and after a moment's hesitation,
leaped into the booth. He proceeded
very slowly, very cunningly, and poked
his head through the calico curtains
which concealed the entrance of the
menagerie from the public. Le Cours
had all the asect of an uninhabited
place.
The lion stepped into the street and
halted again. Then he recommenced
his promenade, but very timidly, with
an embarrassed air-as though very
distrustful and supremely suspicious.
One would have thought that he had
already regretted having proceeded so
far ; and every once in awhile he would
turn his head half-round to look at his
domicile. Nevertheless he skirted the
church-wall, and finally took up his po
sition under the porch, without making
the slightest noise. The church -doors
had been left wide open, be
cause of the heat, and within a
profound silence reigned, broken only
by the outbursts of the preacher's voice
from the pulpit, and the mad music of
the crickets from the neighboring trees.
The priest had only just commenced hi
sermon ; and the peasant women in their
rows of straw-bottomed chairs, were
either listening or yielding to the drow
siness of the hot day.
It was the beadle who first perceived
the enormous shadow of the lion upon
the wall of the porch. He let his hal
berd fall to the pavement, and cried
out in a voice half-choked by terror
"There's the lion!"
The whole congregation was imme
diately seized with unutterable terror.
Chairs and benches were overturned in
all directions. Some rushed toward
the organ-loft, others to the door of the
sacristy, others to the high altar. White
as sheets, and with eyes wild with fear,
the women shrieked helplessly or
uttered nameless cries. The children
yelled, and called upon their mothers
to save them. Several peasant women
almost died of fright, and huddled to
gether in the nave, actually holding
their breath from terror.
People trampled each other on the
pulpit stairs behind the altar on either
side of the sanctuary railing. Prayer
books, chaplets, benches, stools, can
dlesticks and censors were scattered on
the floor. The beadle had barricaded
himself within the confessional; the
chanter, whose face was fully lit by a
gush of light from the window, was
livid, and his knees were knocking to
gether almost violently enough to
break the bones. A little boy that had
squeezed himself under a big chair
thrust out from betwixt the rungs a
face comically distorted by tears of
terror. The sacristan had run up the
steeple stairs, and was ringing the bell
with all his might, as . if there was a
conflagi ation to be extinguished. The
few women - who had succeeded in get
ting out of the church with the first
rush, were running through all the
streets of the village, throwing up
their arms, and screaming for help.
The priest alone who, from the
height of his pulpit had seen the wild
beast walk quietly away tried to re
establish some calm among the faithful.
But his voice was lost in the tumult of
the panic; and already, from all the
houses, drinking-places, club-rooms,
taverns, etc., men were running to the
scene armed with Lefaucheux revolvers,
pitchforks, spits, and billiard queues.
The lion, indeed, had very quietly re
traced his way to the menagerie, as
soon as he had heard the beadle's hal
berd fall on the church pavement
Madame Auguste at once rushed at her
boarder, raining lashes upon him
with her whip, and hurried him into the
cage, with many kicks in the hinder
portion of his emaciated body.
But the whole village had been ter
rified. Headed by the tax-collector, who had
taken down an old revolver from his
panoply, the peasants poured into the
booth ; and, in spite of the supplications
and even tears of the lion-tamer, who
clasped their knees in her vain despair,
they put the muzzles of their weapons
to the poor brute's head and blew his
brains out. One peasant even caried
his ferocity so far as to shove a billiard
cue down the lion's throat. The
village folks seemed to have been
wrought up to a pitch of unheard-of
fury ; and every possible term of abuse,
invective, and insult were lavished upon
the wretched animal's carcass.
"And now," shouted the tax collector
to Mme. Auguste, who had almost
fainted with grief, "now this will teach
vou that I have never been afraid of
lions !"
in.
Madame Auguste long remained
motionless with grief and despair. Her
lion represented all her earthly posses
sions, her only resources besides, he
had grow n old in the menagerie, and
his submission, his docility, were extra
ordinary. She would not think of re
maining any longer in the midst of such
people ; and she gave orders to pack up
and leave town that very evening.
But at the approach of nightfall the
sky clouded up quickly and heavily. A
furious wind came whistling through
the trees, tearing away the leaves and
whirling them abroad, and the thunder
began to roar in the distance.
Nevertheless, Madame Auguste's two
wagons left the village by the high road.
The storm burst over the country. Be
tween the shafts of the traveling wagon
trotted a great big mule from whose
flanks the rain-water poured in streams.
The old horse who pulled the other
vehicle containing the carcass of the
lion, hung his head sadly under the
furious downpour. The thunder rolled
madly overhead; and, by the light of
the lightning, Madame Auguste showed
her tear -streaming face at the little
back window of her wagon and at in
tervals flung the epithet, cowards I into
the great tumult of the tempest.
Children's Charitable CInb.
Washington Letter.
The Children's Christmas club, of
which the president's daughter, li ttlo
Nell, is president, gave a Christmas
feast to poor children, and three other
clubs, the outgrowth of this, gave din
ners in other sections of the city; so
over 2,000 youngsters had a vision of
good living far ahead of their ex
pectations. The club which has
gained a national prominence was
started by Miss Marion West,
the daughter of Commissioner
West of the district, the day after
Thanksgiving among a little group of
acquaintances. Miss West, by the way,
claims San Francisco as her birthplace,
and it has reason to be proud of a gen
tle young lady who has made so many
poor homes happy. Miss Nellie Arthur
accepted the presidency of the club and
with it considerable hard .work, as she
has had to sign hundreds of member
ship cards. They not only gave the
children all they could eat, but also all
they could carry home in the way of
eatables and toys.
I never saw such a crowd of delighted
faces. President Arthur entered the
hall in time to see a "Punch and Judy"
show for the entertainment of the chil
dren and took a seat very democratically
in their midst. Such a scene was
probably never witnessed here before.
Nell Arthur sang with a chorus of girls.
Tiny Tim's injunction, "God Bless
Every One," is the watchword, and the
president, like simpler folks, wants his
daughter to grow up generous and
thoughtful. For a child of 11 years,
petted and noticed as she is, she is not
a bit spoiled by it all, and came attired
in a simple blue worsted dress. The
Christmas club is going to be a perma
nent affair and expects to do muoh
more next year.
A White House Itoom.
The Current.
A room in the White House is decor
ated in the style of the thir
teenth century. It contains
also a Japanese screen, the por
traits of Grant and Van Buren. a tiece
of tapestry showing Gutenberg reading
and furniture of cherry wood. When,
n.ftr the lnnse of a centurv or two. the
decorative artists of that period search
for specimens of nineteentu century
decorations, they will doubtless find
themselves a trine puzzled, on entering
this room.
NEW ORLEANS CEMETERIES.
A lottery Man's Revenge Changes a
ltaee -Course into a Cemetery.
Letter in New York Times.
Any stranger here in search of curi
osities is pretty sure to go back again
and again to the cemeteries, just as I
am eomg back to them, for they are,
without exception, the most interesting
points to visit. All the other rew Or
leans curiosities may be duplicated in
other cities, but there is nothing like
the cemeteries anywhere else in
America. They are so full, so well
kept, so cunous in their arrangement,
so quiet and restful, that it is a pleasure
to go into them. '
One of the oldest of the French
cemeteries is in the heart of the city.only
a few blocks from Canal street. It is
inclosed with a high stone wall, and
the entrance to it is through a narrow
gateway. The graves are all above
ground, as they are in all the New Or
leans cemeteries, and the little burial
houses are so close together it looks
impossible to find room for another
body. There are several large vaults
belonging to benevolent societies, and
two or three are filled with bodies of
Confederate soldiers. Narrow walks
wind among these dwelling houses of
the dead, with which the entire
inclosure is filled. The inscrip
tions on many of the tombs
show that tbe occupants came years
ago from the French provinces, but a
fair proportion of the names are Ger
man, Irish, or American. Nearly every
grave shows some mark of aflection,
with its bouquet of liowers, festoon of
crape, rosette of black beads, its tiny
cross, or font of holv water. The
French do not forget their dead friends.
There are graves in this cemetery so
old that the plas'er is crumbling away,
that still are ornamented with fresh
bouquets of flowers. But this old
French cemetery in the middle of the
city has not the charm of the newer
ones m tiie suburbs.
About three miles from the center of
the town, straight out Canal street,
there is a village of cemeteries whose
population must equal, I should think,
that of the city. It is just a pleasant
walk to them on a fair day. The first
to be reached bears a sign over the
gate "Temene, Derech, Best ;" the next
is the Lutheran cemetery, then the
Jewish "Cemetery of the Congregation
Dispersed of Judah," St. -Patrick's
cemetery, w hich probably is not filled
with Frenchmen ; the beautiful Fire
men's cemetery, and the "Odd-Fellows'
Lest. I he last to be reached in point
of distance is the largest of all, the
JNIetairie. ihis word was a sticker, and
it took me a long time to find out what
it meant. I asked several gentlemen
whom I met on the broad gravel walks,
and they all to'd me it was a race-track,
but the exact connection between a
cemetery and a race-track was hard to
see. It was plain enough, however,
when I heard the story.
A few years ago Metaire was the
fashionable race-course of New Orleans,
owned by a club composed of a number
of prominent citLens. The president
of the Lou'siana Lottery company de
sired to join the club, but the respect
able gentlemen connected with it did
not care to be mixed up vith any
4 11 44 business, and promptly
black-balled him. He made effort after
effort to get in, but was black-balled
every time. At last he grew indignant,
and said to them :
"It's not much of a race-track, any
how. I will buy it and make a cemetery
of it."
He kept his word. Before lonjr the
sporting club was in difficulties, and
the lottery man got possession of most
of its stock. As soon as he was able
to control it he tore down the grand
stand, laid the whole place out in
burial lots, and the old race-track is
now the fashionable cemetery of
New Orleans. No choice lots, how
ever, are reserved for the lottery com
pany's victims who spend their last
dollar for quarter tickets and die in the
poor-house. This connection of a
swindling lotterv company with a
cemetery is beautifully appropriate,
leaving nothing to be desired but an
alms-house on one side of the big
arched gataway and a jail on the other.
rtllizinx Old Corks.
( Mineral-Wa er Trade Review.
In a low wo; den building in Mul
berry street old corks are made as
"good as new." This is the only place
in Sew York where they are dealt in.
The dealer buys the corks by the bar
rel, and pays irom $1 to $3. His trade
is mostly in champagne corks. The
best and cleanest of these he sorts and
sells to American champagne-makers.
The bottom of the cork, where the first
bottler's braud appears, is shaved off,
and the name of the second stamped on
them. These c rks were cut expressly
for champagne bottles, and, as they can
be bought much more cheaply than any
new ones, the bottlers purchase them.
The old-ccrk dealer obtains 25 cents a
dozen for them, and makes a handsome
profit.
The broken and dirty corks go
through a pe.uliar process. They are
first subjected to a sort of Turkish bath
to clean them, and after they have dried
are cut down. They are put in a ma
chine and turned, while a sharp knife
runs across them. They can be cut to
any size, and, with the soiled surface
removed, look as bright as when new.
The corks cut down are purchased by
root - beer and soda - watar makers,
who use smaller bottles. They can save
a considerable amount by purchasing
old eorkv which, as it is easy to see,
will do as well as new ones. 'Ihe "old
cork man" is rushed with business.
The champagne and root-boer and soda
water bottlers take all the corks he can
furnish. He gets his supply at the
hotels and elsewhere.
On the Verge of He act Ion.
Helen Wilmms in Chicago Express.
The day of military leaders is past.
The day of political leaders is past. I
doubt whether there will ever be a new
party formed or a new church. I
doubt wheth -r they are needed. I see
something better ahead ; I see that cor
ruption in the old parties and in the old
churches, having gone its entire length,
begins to tremble on the verge of reac
tion. Wilkins : He who makes the best of
life losos the worst of death.
Arizona's Petrified Forest.
Cor. Boston Herald.
One might almost pass by and notice
nothing unusual. But on looking closer
the rocks are found to be the trunks
of 'fallen trees turned to stone. They
lie about you here, there and every
where, some preserving their shape and
outlines, others broken or cracked.
The scene is a strange one. It smacks
of enchantment. Perhaps some potentn
magician blew upon this forest in the
vigor of its prime, and before his chill
ing breath the stout trees bowed them
selves and fell, and froze into flint and
agate. Still you hardly see why you
came, but after the coffee had been
boiled and breakfast eaten your Mexi
cans slowly enlighten you. They bring
out hammers and drills, and selecting a
likely spot in a stone trunk endeavor
to force a way into it. The stone is
like adamant. Again and again the
drill bounds away, but finally pieces
are shivered off the cracks made, so
that you see what the petrified forestj
has hidden within it. Emeralds, sap-J
phires, and diamonds are convenient!
names, but alas, our discoveries would
hardly be counted as such by Tiffany.
Yet they are singularly beautiful. You
find blocks of stone, there sides bristling
with great hexagonal crystals, some
green, others purple, and others a pure
white. You cut through geodes whose
hollows are lined with prismatic crys
tals sparkling with all the colors of the
rainbow. Much of the stone is beauti
fully marked flint. Often you find!
pieces with a brown corrugated eoatingJ
which, I fancy, is the petrified bark
All the stone abounds in the most deli-j
cate slladings of gray and white, with;
dark lines, but the crystals, lining fis-j
sures or gathered in the nests of geodes j
are the especial delight of seekers.
Here, too, there are moss agates, and
exceptionally large and. clear garnets
which masquerade under the name of
rubies. And of the ordinary forms of
petrified wood there is no end.
Beating Brass.
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Do you beat brass?" is the initial
catechism of the latest fashionable
handicraft in Philadelphia. It is a part
ticular pet with feminine fingers, and
requires thorough and practical knowl
edge of hammers and tracing tools
brass and block. A class of ladies, un
der the patronage of the Scandinavian
Thor, have produced some beautiful
and lasting work. The instructor
teaches them the way of using and
holding their tools, and the proper kind
of stroke to make upon the steel dies.
The method is simple. On a block
of wood a brass plate of sheet is fast
ened. The design is then drawn upon it;
the outline hammered by a die, which
has a row of dots. Other dies give
the groundwork a frosted or mottled
appearance. Everything depends on
the skill of the workwoman. Really
valuable articles in repousse brass can
be made from a piece of brass costing
but a small sum. Card-receivers, paper-weights
and plaques can be niadev
The brass beating educates the hands
and develops the muscles. It is worthy
of note how much interest in the me
chanical arts is publicly shown. Some
times the hammering of brass is com
bined with the use of the paint brush.
A brass tray lately seen has a loose
spray of pxyple pansies, apparently
flung down carelessly upon it.
Uncle Remus on the Art ot Court
ship.
Joel Chandler Harris in Atlanta Constitu
tion. "I know'd a nigger one time," said
Uncle Remus, after pondering a mo
ment, "w'at tuck a notion dot he want a
bait er 'simmons, en de mo' w'at de no
tion tuck 'm de mo' w'at he want um,
en bimeby, hit look lak he des natally
erbleedz ter have um. He want de 'sim
mons, en dar dey is in de tree. He-mouf
water, en dar hang de 'simmons. Now,
den w 'at do dat nigger do? W'en yon
en me en dish yer chile yer vrants 'Bim
mons, we goes out en shakes de tree, en
ef deyer good en ripe, down dey comes,
en ef deyer good en green, dar dey
stays. But dis yer yuther nigger, he too
smart fer dat. He des tuck'n tuck he
stan' und' de tree, en he open de
mouf, he did, wait fer de simmons fer
ter drap in dar. Dey ain't none drap
in yit," continued Uncle Bemus, gently
knocking the cold ashes out of his pipe,
"en w'at's mo', dey ain't none gwine ter
drap in dar. Dat des zackly de way
wid Brer Jack yer Tjout marryin'; he
stan dar he do, en he hoi' bofe ban's
wide open, en he speck de gal gwine
ter drap right spang in 'um. Man want
gal, he des got ter grab 'er dat's w'at.
Dey may squall en day may flutter, but
flutter'n an' squallin' ain't done no dam
age yit as I knows un' en 'taint gwine
ter. Young chaps kin make great 'mira
tion Tbout gals, but w'en dey gits ole ez
I is dey 'ull know dat folks is folks, en
w'en it come ter bein' folks de wimmen
ain't got none de 'vantage er der men.
Now dat's des de plain up en
down tale I'm a tellin' un you."
For Oyster Eaters.
Detroit Free Press.
The New York Times proposes the
organization of "a new party in favor of
spelling 'Orgust' with an ' and thus
enabling American citizens to eat oys
ters thirty -one davs earlier in the season
than is now possible." The Times does
not know, perhaps but it is a fact
that The Chicago Tribune has inaugu
rated a system of spelling which, if
faithfully followed, would give us just
such a bad spell of August as The
Times wants. There is an easier way.
however, to lengthen the oyster season
by thirty-one days. Let the month of
JUay be called by its true name, the
month of Mary.
A S 105,000 Dress.
Cor. Boston Herald
The most noticeable feature of a re
cent evening at Saratoga was the mag
nificence of the costumes of the ladies.
Perhaps the most costly of these was
worn by Mrs. Moore, the wife of a Phil-
uueipuiu millionaire, une wno ; pro
fessed to have accurate information on
the subject told me that she wore laces
and silks which cost $30,000, and also
diamonds that were valued at $75,000.
This makes $105,000 for one evening
outfit. Whatever the cost, the toilet
was certainly superb, and I doubt if
anything more expensive or elaborate
has ever been seen m this country.
CROWS AT WASHINGTON.
The Part They Play in Preserving
the Health or the Inhabitants.
C ir. Cincinnati TitneF-Str.J
One of the professors at the Smith
sonian has evolved some curious theo
ries about crows and the effect they
have on the health of Washington. Ar
lington and the dense woods of the
Virginia hills thereabout are the
"roosts" of countless flocks of crows.
This professor estimates them at some
thing like a million. These curious
birds, which he has studied a good deal,
are of great value in keep ng Washing
ton as healthful a city as it is.
They go on the river flats in the even
ing just before roosting time and clean
away much of the refuse whi -h would
breed miasma. They are down there
nearly every evening digging away on
the flats like a gang of workmen
thousands of them at a time.
"Hundreds of thousands, I presume
almost a million of these birds," he said,
"roost here every night. In the even
ing it looks as if a pall had been thrown
over the cemetery or night had settled
on the tree tops. Every tree and you
know the trees at Arlington are large
and close together is so covered that
yo i can't see the limb3. They look
like pyramids o: crows, and the ground
is covered, too.
"They are very curious birds," he
continued. "Early in the evening, be
fore settling down to roost, thousands
of them will fuss and fly about the
cemetery, now settling upon the tree?,
then flying up and soaring about, their
wings flashing like polished armor in
the setting sun. Others walk solemnly
among the graves, in search of food, or
sit silently upon the tombstones. Their
numbers increase rapidly as the even
ing advances. They seem to divide ofl
into companies, as roosting time ap
proaches, and drop off in flocks of two
or thres hundred, dropping suddenly
head first in among the trees.
"Their feeding grounds stretch out
in a direct line to the bay, toward An
napolis, and they feed all along the
route. The 'feed' commences in the
open fields in Maryland just outside of
the district, and an immense number of
crows are scattered out during the day
over a belt of country from Annapolis
to Washington. The greater number,
I thin'c, however, go clear to the bay
and range along its shores, for miles
and miles, near low water mark, pick
ing such food as they can find. They
Bem to have the power to travel a great
distance iu a very short time, but they
are frequently on very short rations. I
think, howeer, that the distance of
their feeding ground from the roost is
regulated by their strength and age, the
very old and feeble feeding in the fields
near b , and the others further away
according to their ability to travel.
"The shore of the bay is, doubtless,
their chief resort for food, and they
have almost exterminated one of our
greatest table luxuries, the terrapin,
which formerly abounded in the bay
and lower Potomac, by, in certain sea
sons, destroying their eggs. The ter
rapin, in the breeding season, lay their
eggs along the shore, burying them in
the sand, pressing the sand over them
with their breasts. In. this way the
cross mark on their breast leaves an im
pression in the sand which enables the
crows to find the eggs, and they eat
them with all the relish of an epicurean
taste The crows rise early, before the
wind or tide has had a chance to oblit
erate the mark, and wherever they see
the cross on the sand they dig for the
eggs. In this way they have almost
done away with tie breed of terrap
ins." The Oyster to the Htrawberrj-.
Pittsburg Chronicle.
A dissipated oyster that had just com
pleted a winter's round of orgies at
church fairs and Snnday school sup
pers, met a young and unsophisticated
strawberry on its first trip from homei
"I've an eye on you," said the oyster,
leering at the strawberry in a way that
made it blush. "Come up to 'tend the
spring festivals, I suppose ?"
"I thought of so doing, sir," modestly
replied the strawberry.
"Going to take in Chautauqua Lake,
Ocean Giove, and so on, mebbe?"
" l es, sir."
"You're the short-cake feller that
goes around with his face" tied up in
sugar and cream, ain't you?"
"Beally, sir, I have seen but little of
the world as ytt, but "
"'I hat's all right. Now just you take
the advice of an old rounder. I've been
through this festival racket. It doesn't
pay. It gets people down on you and
ruins your reputation. Short-cakes are
frauds. You keep away from them.
Don't go near cream. It's the worst
thing-you can get mixel up with in
war n weather. Just you wait until
you see a feller with a big diamond on
his shirt and a tombstone on his little
finder shaking up some sherry and
s:'gar in a glas -. Keep your vest on
until you see him put on ..top of the
sherry a piece of pineapple, a piece of
lemon, a chip of orange, and a sprig of
mint; and then you get right in among
them and pass the summer in good
society. You hear me twitter."
Ig iornre In Hlsh Llf .
iTcxris Sifting.
"You have got a verv picturesque pa
per," remarked an elegantly dressed
young gentleman, looking over the
shoulder of a man who was reading a
copy of Texas Sittings.
It is an actual fact, that the young
man, although residing on Fifth avenue.
New York city, was under the impres
sion that a picturesque aper meant one
that was full of pictures.
This is almost as good as the story of
the clergyman, who imagined that gar
bage meant pretty much the same as
garb, and who consequently rebuked
the frivolity of the ladies whose dress
or "garbage," as he put it, was too ex
travagant. Dancer in lrnc.
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
It is rightly observed that the great
danger in rsiug narcotic .drugs lies in
the fact that the dose taken to-night
that will not give you -sleep, may to
morrow night put you into a sleep from
which you will never wake. As an old
phyjician remarks, the real strength of
a drug often depends as much upon
the condition it finds you in as upon
its own potency.
Women Men Captains,
Harper's Weekly.
Mrs. Mary A. Miller is not the first
woman who has served successfully as
mistress of a ship. Mrs. Capt. Patten,
of Bath,. Me., who while her husband
was lying ill in his berth, navigated his
ship around Cape Horn and up to San
Francisco, although his timid first
officer wanted to stop at Valparaiso for
assistance; of Mrs. Capt. Abbie Clif
ford, of the brig Abbie Clifford, who,
after her husband had been washed
overboard, brought the vessel safe into
New York harbor from below the
equator; of Mrs. Capt, Reed, of the
Oakland, of Brunswick, Me., who was a
practical navigator of celebrity, and of
Miss Jenet Thorns, who often used to
navigate her father's ship, who is now
teaching a school of navigation in this
city and who "was in part the author of
Thorns Navigator, a book of au
thority among mariners.
These cases are all ox recent date, 'lo
them The Leavenworth (Ean.) Times
adds the case of Mrs. Capt. John Oliver
Norton, of Edgar town, Mass. Her hus
band commanded a whaling vessel, and
she frequently went with him into the
Arctic waters. On one of these expedi
tions all the boats were out, leaving on
board the captain and just enough
of the crew to manage the vessel. A
whale was noticed off to the starboard,
and the captain and men were puzzled
how to get it. It was the woman who
solved the problem and settled the fate
of his whaleship. Going to the wheel she
prevailed upon her husband to leave
the ship in her charge, with two dis
abled men, while he and his men went
after the whale. He did so. The
woman managed the ship all day until
nightfall, when the boats returned, that
m command of her husband having cap
tared the biggest whale ever seen in
those waters. When the ship put in
home the New Bedford owners made
the "woman commander" a handsome
present.
The Might or One Man's Intellect.
Emll Du Bois Raymond
Siemens telegraph wires gird the
earth, and the Siemens cable steamer
Faraday is continually engaged in lay
ing new ones. By the Siemens method
has been solved the problem (by the
side of which that of finding a noedle inv
a hay stack is one of childish simplicity) '
of fishing out in the stormy ocean, from
a depth comparable to that of the vale
of Chamouni, the ends of a broken
cab'e. Electrical resistance is measured
by the Siemen mercury unit. "Siemens"
is written on water meters, and Russian
and German revenue officers are assisted
by Siemens apparatus in levying their
assessments. Lhe Siemens processes
for g lding and silvering and the Sie
mens anastatic printing mark stages in
the development of thoee branches of
industry. ' -
Siemens differenLal regulators con
trol the action of the steam engines that
forge the English arms at Woolwich
and that of the chronographs on which
the transit of the stars is marked at
Greenwich. The Siemens cast steel
works and glass houses, with their re
generated furnaces, are admired by all
artisans. The Siemens electric light
shines in assembly-rooms and public
places, and the Siemens gas-light com
petes with it; while the Siemens electro-culture
in green-houses bids defi
ance to our long winter nights, : The
Siemens electric railway is destined to
rule in cities and tunnels. The Siem
ens electric - crucible, melting three
pounds of platinum in twenty minutes,
was a wonder of the Paris exposition,
which might well have been called an
exposition of Siemens' apparatus and
productions, so prominent were they
there.
The Hollow Square In Warfare,
New York Times.
The "hollow square" formation that
won the battle of El Teb is undoubt
edly a formidable one in these days of
long-range rifles, when the assailants
can be exterminated long before they
ever reach the bayonet points. But that
infantry sin ares have been broken by
cavalry on more than one occasion is
now a matter of history. Authorities
are still divided as to whether Victor
Hugo was right in affirming or Siborne
denying that the French heavy brigade
drove in the face of a British square
at Waterloo. But M on tb run's cuiras
siers broke a Russian square at Boro- -dino
in 1812, and Col. Caulaincourt's
horse, in the same battte, actually
charged into an intrenched redoubt.
In the course of the Anglo-Arabian
war that followed England's annexa
tion of Aden, in 1K39, an English square
was attacked in the open plain by a
mass of Abdali horsemen. The Arabs
forced their way in so far as to kill sev
eral men in the third rank, and were
then beaten off with bayonets and
clubled muskets, an occurrence util
ized by James Grant in one of his mili
tary novels. The Irish brigade had a
similar experience at Talavera. "So,
my Connaught boys," said Gen. Picton
to them after the battle, "you let the
Frenchmen get into your Bquare to-day,
did you?" "Well, your honor, an
swered a brawny Irish grenadier, with
stern significance, "the blackguards got
in, sure enough, bat, bedad ! they never
got out again."
The Color Line In Liberia.
Macon (Oa.) Telegraph.
The tendency among the negroes is
to draw the line between those of pure
blood and mulattoes. They had trouble
of this kind in Uayti, and it crops out
here in tbe south to a greater or lesser
extent during every political campaign.
It has become the controlling issue in
the politics of the republic of Liberia.
The constitution of that republic erects
a bar against all men of white blood.
They cannot hold office and are re
stricted in their rights of citizenship.
The black negroes now propose to bar
out the yellow ones.
J. J. Roberts, Liberia's first presi
dent and the George Washington of
that country, was defeated when he last
ran for office on the color issue. He
was very fair, almost white, in fact, and
a native of this country. The Liberians
now have a black president, who is a
native of Africa, and the mulattoes are
given to understand that they are not
wanted. Very few mulattoes can now
be induced to go to Liberia, the dispo
sition being to let Liberia be purely a
black republic.