THE COLUMBIAN.
7
1
Published Every Friday,
AT
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
by
E. O. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor.
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A
VOL. V.
ST. HELENS, . COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, OCTOBER 24, 1884.
NO. 12.
THE COLUMBIAN.
COLUMBIAN
BR! LI I A NTS.
The patient pleading of tlw tre.s
How deep it shames the stasi s despair!
lu supplication movels. mute,
They keep their attitude nf pj-ayer.
John Vance Cheney.
lie who stands bv my side nlway,
Nor waits to see "what the world will say,
Caring not what my fortune lie.
He is mv friend, the friend for me.
F. F. Wetherhy.
Great souls have died for truth, and left
their fame
To l the watchword of another uge;
By virtue, justice, courage, and ln'h aim.
Descend through time, a common heritage.
And heroes live to-day iit all but name.
Charles L. Hildreth.
tlodlly Attitude mid Health.
American Queen.
A writer on health very justly condemns
lotinginr ' '" . i. large numlx'r of per
sons indulge, h.- injurious to- healths lie
.says: "Anere.-t N-l.ivri itndt nf ?.tl
more importance to hcaltli than- is genef
atly imagined. Crooked bodily positions,
maintained for any length of time, are al
ways injurious, whether in a sitting,
standing or lying posture, whether sleep
ing or walking. To sit with the body lean
ing forward on the stomach or to one side,
with the heels elevated to a level with the
head, is not only in bad taste, but exceed
ingly detrimental to health. It crams the
stomach, presses the vital organs, inter
rupts the free motion of the chest, and en
feebles the functions of the abdominal and
theoric organs, and, in fact, unbalances
the whole muscular system. Many chil
dren become slightly humpbacked or se
erely round-shouldered, by sleeping with
the head raised on a high pillow. When
nay erson finds it easier to sit or stand,
or walk, or sleep in a crooked position
than a straight otic, fuch person may 1k?
sure his muscular system is badly de
ranged, and the more cartful he is to pre
serve a straight or upright position, and
get bhek to nature again, the better.''
How Xliey Hot II I m Out.
Chicago Tunes.
In Paris, recently, a workmen fell ovei
the parapet of one of the bear-pits at the
Jardin des Plantes, and very nearly be;
came a prey to two huge bears awaiting
their afternoon repast. The man lay for
a few minutes insensible, with a bad
wound on his head, from which there was
a copious flow of blood. The spectators
for a short time kept the bears employed
by throwing them endless pieces of bread,
but thev made so much noise in carrying
out their well-meant stratagem that the
animals were frightened away from this
frugal entertainment, and the male,
wandering about in search of refuge, ap-
froached the more palatable food, and
icked up the blood flowing from the pros
trate sufferer's wound. Amid intense ex
citement the keepers arrived, and the man
recovered his senses. Seeing his danger,
however, he lay still, as if dead, while the
keepers prepared a rope and distracted the
Lear from its prey by striking it with long
x.les. At length the prisoner clutched the
rope and was speedily hauled aloft, to the
disappointment of the bear, who displayed
much irritation at the withdrawal of so
dainty and ample a meal. The rescued in
dividual, who was badly hurt by his fall,
w as conveyed to the hospital.
A Defective' Slirewdnen.
London Standard.
Only a few months ago the papers gave
an instance of the acuteut-ss of a French
detective. A man had murdered his fe
male companion and buried her liody in a
cellar. The corpse was discoved, and the
man then said that the woman had killed
herself by falling down -stairs, and that
he had buried her secretly, fearing to
be accused of her death. He as
serted that this "accident" took place
in the autumn, in October. The
detective observed the traces of smoke on
the ceiling. "Von hud a candle when you
buried the body, " he remarked, and was
answered in the affirmative. "And you
say you only entered this cellar that one
day in October?" The suspected man
again averred it. "You are speaking
falsely, " retorted the detective, and showed
the murderer, between the crevices of the
ceiling, the half-consumed larvae of cer
tain insec ts which only lay in the spring,
and which had been burnt by his candle
at the time when he had actually buried
his victim.
lCqiiallzin; the Charge.
Philadelphia Call.
Railroad Magnate See here, sir! this
won't do. You sell me that sugar at 10
cents a pound, and I have just found out
that you have been charging my son 15
cents for the same brand.
Grocer But you see, sir, your son lives
in the next square, close by, while you re
Mde a mile away, and I have been afraid
that if I did not m-11 you at a low price
you would prefer to buy at some grocery
nearer home.
R. R. Magnate I can't help that. Y'ou
have no right to discriminate against
my son in that way, ju-t because he lives
near yoiu
Grocer Well, I will stop it.
R. R. Magnate And let him have his
susar at 10 tuts.
Grocer No, I w ill charge you 15 cents.
Wot Ahead of Lincoln.
New York Tribune.
.The story was told of President Lin
coln's first visit to the penitentiary at
Springfield. Ills. An old criminal, look
ing out through the bars of his cell, re
marked: .
"Well, Mr. Lincoln, you and I ought to
be well posted on prisons; we've seen all
there nre in the country."
"Why, this is the first one I ever visited,"
said Mr, Lincoln, and was astonished at
the response:
"Rut I've been in all the rest."
truteful Arc We.
Burlington Hawkeye.
Yes, we think well of bicycles and bi
cyclers; we love to watch them wing their
noiseless way swiftly past the house and
we are glad we do not keep a gun. Every
Saturday afternoon there is one particular
bicycler goes by; a fat man; a very fat
man in knickerbockers, a pleated blouse,
short skirted and gathered in at the belt,
mutton chop whiskers, single eye-glass
and navy cap. Grateful, indeed, are we,
:very Saturday, that there is no gun in the
house.
. Didn't Like It.
Texas Sittings. J
Mrs. Yerger being afflicted with face
ache, sent to the drug store for some car
bolic salve, which she rubbed on her jaw.
The salve smeit like creosote, whereupon
her son Johnny remarked:
"Mamma, I wouldn't use the medicine.
It smells like toothache.''
Queen Elizabeth of Roumania is said to
have had a fondness for boiled sea gulls,
u nee cheese, and hartshorn jelly,
dainties unknown to the nineteenth cen
tury bill of fare.
THE HANK CHECK.
New York Times. )
What I have to tell is absolutely true. It
did happen exactly as I shall try to write
it. The only thing I will omit are tho
names of the persons and the place where
it happened. I might by lengthening out
the story show the play of those fell pas
sions, greed and covetousuess, but I trust
what I have to say will not lose its point
from brevity. The moral is the same
old trite one that honesty is the best pol
icy. When a man is tempted to commit
a wicked action' it often happens that the
injury done another becomes irrepara
ble. "There is a sequence in all dishonest
transactions which escapes the evil-doer.
Effect follows cause. This mny coruo
instantly, as quickly as an explosion when
the hammer of the gun-lock strikes the
cap containing the fulminate, or tite tire
may hang back, but it will come some day
or other. .This is a longer preanitde laau 1
thought would be drawn from my pen,
but as I am not a young man 1 may
indulge in such comments, lecause in the
life of any one who has passed the half
century the force of inevitable constantly
occurs to him. A man of my age has been
long enough in this world to have seen
passing before him many a sad drama:
he has been present at the very first
scene, and has been an unwilling witness
of the terrible conclusion.
1 supjKe few people who have had di
rect transactions with banks are not aware
that errors sometimes happen. The heads
of firms rarely are acquainted' with such
mistakes. It is the business of clerks who
have the checks cashed to see that the
amounts paid them are correct. Paying
tellers if they do err are rather likely to
pay too much than too little. Should they
give more money than the face of the
check calls for. If the receiver of the
money is dishonest, then the paver does
not always hear about it. If he underpays,
the demand for the difference is invariably
made nt once. I am rather inclined to re
peat the assertion that in such mistakes as
are made in the rush of business, it is
the commoner error to pay too much.
Sometimes a very tired, man, whose brain
has been too long oil the stretch, or
wiio is ill or nervous, mistakes the number
of the check for the amount, and pavs
away some thousands instead of hundred's.
I have known this to happen in a New
York bank to a j'oung friend of nunc. He
had sufficient good judgment not to em
barrass the paying teller by making any
noise about it. He resumed his place in
the line, handed back his bank book, po
litely requested the teller to look at tho
check he had presented, the amount he
had received, and it was all so quietly done
that he made for life a fast friend of a
careful and expert bank teller. I have
two or three times leen overpaid by a
bank teller. People who shop have very
often mistakes made in their change to
their advantage. Need it be said that
without waiting an Wnstant restitution
should be made?
I was a clerk in a house whe n the inci
dent I am about telling happened. We
did a large business in the city of- , and
our check-book was in constant demand.
I made out the checks and kept the bank
account, but did not have the signature ot
the firm. Generally for greater scurity,
wLen the amount was. large, I drew out
the money myself. A great many of the
transactions we were engaged iu re
quired us to pay at once to the individual
the hard cash.
The paj i lg teller of our bank in ihe
busint-. s season had all he could attend to.
The money to be paid for an agricultural
product very much in demand would ou
.some days make the cash disburse
ments of the bank amount to $750,000.
I remembered that ou one occasion,
looking at the teller, he seemed tired and
depressed. Presenting my check for some
amount less than $1,000 wanted by me
in $5 and $10 bills he overpaid me" 50.
He had counted the money over twice be
fore passing it to me. I recounted the
money, found the error, and, being pressed
for time, could not return the r?-""0 until
after 3 o'clock. The teller was obliged to
me, but I noticed that he bore a worried
look. A month after this we had some
balance to pay a customer living out of
the city, amounting to $450. A check
was, draw n by me, handed to the creditor,
and his account was balanced. The busi
ness entirely dropped out of my mind.
Some three months afterward the firm
received a letter from this man, which was
rather ambiguous of its kind. There was
an error, so lie said, in his account. Would
we look over it? At once I examined the
books, checked off every item, went
through all the debts and credits of his
business, and ended bv inspecting the final
check paid him. My employers, who
were very honest and careful gentlemen,
were satisfied with the accuracy of the ac
count, and I was instructed to write him a
letter to that effect. I did so, as politely
as I could, but at the conclusion of my let
ter I said, " You leave us in the dark, "how
ever, as to one thing. Three months have
elapsed since our check was given to you.
If you bd not been paid what was due
you we should have certainly heard
from you before. Have you been
overpaid?" Mj- senior "employer,
a shrew a business man, looking over my
letter, remarked, "Perhaps your question
here might not 1h? liked "by Mr. .
However, let it go. " I mailed the letter.
We heard nothing more about it for a
month. Then there came a tortuous let
ter from the man. "His account was
wrong, " he wrote. "May lie he had come
across some money he could not exactly
account for. " lie did not state how much
money it was, or how it happened. It was
a mean shamble on his part. I knew that.
He had pricks of conscience; that I was
certain of. The firm consulted with me
what they should do. I made up my mind
that more money had been paid the man
on the check than he was entitled to. I
went at once to the teller of the bank. I
found him ill, nervous, and tremulous.
'Yes," he said, "my accounts were
wrong. There had been a big deficit. 1
have not slept for months. 1 am afraid I
have overpaid some one. Rut thank God
I ma le it up. 1 mortgaged my house and
passed the amount short to the credit of
the bank. I must have made a blunder
somewhere. Rut the strain on my mind
has beet: killing me. I feel as if I were
no longer lit for the place. " He seemed
to me to have moments of doubt and un
certaint "I still cling to my place, " he
said. "Of course I have no recollection of
having ever paid that check of $450.'' I
said to him that I bad hopes of getting
some of ihc: money back, but I did not
like to tell him how. Rut what I did do
was to go that evening to the president of
the bank and state the case tohim. As it
had been through him that I owed 1113' po
sition in the firm, he had
every confidence in me. My advice
was asked. I was forced to
dcclmv that I thought the paving teller
had bet'er be given another and lighter po
sition. The next day when I went to the
bunk :he old teller had been apparently re
lieved He was casting up some accounts
in the ledger. When I spoke to him
aeioyi the l ulling ho did not seem to recog
nize me. Next day I was shocked to learn
through tho president of the bauk, that
such positive indications of mental trouble
had been shown by the teller, that his
friends had thouiht it wiser to confine him
to his house. His accounts had been at
once rigorously examined, and were found
to lie correct. It was perfectly true that
he hail mortgaged his house, and had paid
the amount into the bank. He had con
ccaled the loss for three months or more
from the bank, which was a mistake on
his part, but ho had been punctilious
enough to even add the interest for some
ninety days.
Now, I felt absolutely certain that the
man to whom the .check had been paid
must be a rascal. If he had offered resti
tution it came late very much late. My
firm gave me carte blanche to manage the
matter as I pleaded. I could not have him
arrested. As he lived in an isolated part
of the country, no efficient summons could
reach him. If I had been aggressive
before, probably no a cent would have
been returned. I wrote now, a sharp
letter. I said: "That a very large
amount of money must have beeu paid
him over and above the face of the hist
check given him, which was for $4o!J. "
I stated, "that I knew exactly how much
it wiw. " I must confess outright that this
was a hkdr. I was not sure that the
teller had not made other mistakes
besides this one. I wrote that "unless
the money was at once restored I
would blast his reputation. If he was
inclined to be honest, even at this lat
date, let him do all he could and send
back the whole amount.' I thought it
wiser not to let him know the mental con
dition of the teller. I was quits certa in
that if he knew that if the teller was out
of his mind not one penny would he
return. I wrote to him that he must be
in a hurry about it. That only the teller
and 1 knew of it, and that my firm were
yet in ignorance."
At once, by return mail, I had a letter.
The sum was not, as he said, what I rep
resented it to be He made some specious
arguments about a man finding a purse,
and the description of it not tallying with
the actual purse lost, or the amount in it.
Under such circumstances, was a man
bound to return it? If I could prove that
he had been overpaid, I ought to
state exactly what was the amount.
He might," he added, "never have
written me a word about it, and
no one would have been the wiser. But he
had a conscience, "so he said. I replied
with la vigorous letter. I confuted his
arguments. "He knew," I said, "the mo
ment he had the bank-notes passed over
to him that he had been overpaid." A
man might find a piece of gold in the dust
of the road, and could never tell who
dropped it there. Rut there was no anal
ogy between the two cases. I cried "for
immediate restoration, or there would be
an exposure. " His answer did not come
for ten days. "I was mistaken, " he said.
"He was not aware that he had been over
paid until he got home. Then he did not
know of it for a week afterw-ard. It
came out then in his accounts. " I knew
this to be a w icked lie, but it
contained at least the written ac
knowledgment that he had been over
paid. Ills letter concluded as follows:
"The matter has worried me considerably;
has taken up a great deal of my time, and
time for me is money. Don't you think
there should be compensation allowed me,
or in other words, can't we make a com
promise?" (Oh. the blackguard!) "If
such a thing could be arranged I will come
to the city and pay over to you the money.
I am not afraid of the bank. I consider
that my transactions have been with your
firm.-'
The money overpaid by the teller had
"been some $4,000, and he had probablv
counted out $4,500 instead of $456. I
hated to do it, but I offered the scoundrel
his traveling expenses. His reply came
promptly: "To leave his business wa3
worth a great deal more than that.
Then, again, he thought of bring
ing his wife on with him and en
joying themselves." The up and down
of it was that I must offer him a certain
amount. "My temptations, you remem
ber, have beeu very great. " I offered him
$500. I was disgusted. I felt like going
to his place and tackling him myself.
"This is my ultimatum, " I said. "If I
do not hear from you in ten days I will
disclose the whole matter and you will be
dishonored." His letter came back
promptly enough. "He would take the
$500. It wasn't very much. The bank
was ever so rich. Corporations had no
souls. " I consulted with the bank presi
dent, who thought it was better to close
with the man. Would it be believed that
that wretch and his wife came to ap
parently on a pleasure trip? He had clone
a sharp and a vlever piece of business. He
had not the least compunctions
of conscience. He came to the office of an
evening, and I do not hesitate in saving
thai in my hip pocket there was a revolver.
He handed me over something less than
$2,000, asserting that the amount received
less the traveling expenses and the $500
made up this balance. When the money
had been transferred by me to the safe I
gave him a piece of my mind. I did not
spare him. I heaped on him every insult
ing epithet I could think of. Then he
showed his temper, which was an ugly
one. "Now, " said I, (remember, I was 26
then, and hotter blood ran through my
veins than to-day), "you are worse than a
thief; you are a murderer. Y'ou have
wrecked an honest man's brains. That
teller of the bank, whose money you took,
has lost his reason. He will, 1 am afraid,
never be a sane man again. This is vour
work. " That seemed to cow him. " Your
repentance comes too late. I hate
you so that God forgive me had
you as much as lifted a finger
against me, I should not have
hesitated in killing you like a dog, and no
jury in the land would have touched a
hair of my head. Go out of this city by
the early morning train, or 1 will make
you. " "The wretch left the office like a
whipped cur. What was the sequel ? A
sad one. The bank teller lapsed into a
melancholy condition, which rendered all
mental labor impossible. He had some
little money, but many friends, and such
few comforts as he required were ungrudg
ingly given him. He died ten years ago.
He never did completely recover his senses.
As to the canting rascal, his fate was a
dire one. Somehow the whole story came
out, though 1 did not divulge, it In that
section of country where he lived he was
discredited. He took to drink, and be
came a confirmed inebriate. Ho neglected
his business, and his plantation was sold.
His wife sought and obtained a divorce.
Two years ago I read that in a brawl in
the most degraded quarter of a town in
Alabama this man met his death in a negro
dance-house.
Training; Chlldreu.
Philadelphia Call.
A child's education in obedience should
begin at a very early age, but in a most
gentle way; little by little as events occur.
Do not crowd the young mind by telling it
what it should not do. Simply tell It what
it should do.
A LITTLE GIRL'S FORTUNE.
What a Bundle of Confederate Bondi
Brought an Orphan.
Frankfort (N. C.) Letter.
This quaint old place, which lies in
the center of the Quaker settlements,
was during the war a favorite resort of
"refugees," by which name was desig
nated those persons whose homes in
the eastern section of the stata were in
side the danger line, or in the counties
already held by the Federal
troops. In this sleepy town these
.found a haven of refuge, and made
themselves comfortable, to remain
while the war lasted, They brought
here their money and the old-fashioned
bank stored Confederate bonds and
currency in great amounts. The crash
cams in the fatal 1865, and Stoneman's
raiders whirlecj down so near that mo -t
of the refugees prepared to fly. A little
later the war ended.
Ihe big old safe, as solemn as the
grave and as chary of its secrets, was
shut. Rut few of the depositors had
withdrawn the now valueless currency
it contained. '1 he bank, a dead corpor
ation, ceased to exist; dying as it had
lived, lazily. Years rolled by, each
making the old safe and its secrets
mere solemn still, as it stood cob-webbed
in one corner of the lower rooms of
the gloomy old bank building. Rumors
of its contents being of value began to
be created in the fertile field, imagina
tion, and it was whispered that in its
deep recesses lay piles of sound silver,
vast quantities of bonds, jewelry worth
a prince's ransom, and finally the con
tents of the safe became a matter of
daily conjecture. Last year the
"boom" ia Confederate bonds began.
The safe was rans icked. From its ca
pacious depths were taken oat quite
c-3,000,000 in Confederate bonds, and
ne irly $l,000,0JO in state bonds and as
much in Confederate and state cur
rency. " The bonds were tied in rolls or
in boxe, and the names of the owners
could Le found in but one case. On a
large roU was found the name of "Adam
Exum, 186;." The bundle was found
to contain 1,500 J 1,000 Confederate
bonds. What the long-dead owner had
paid full value for and what had been
for years so much w aste paper, had be
come worth $5.50 per $l,0u0.
Rut strange as the past events might
seem, future ones were even more curi
ous, it was found that Exam had gone
to Charleston, S. C, October, 1863, and
nothing had since been heard of him.
His son, a soldier, had been wounded;
h. d married after the war in Virginia;
had come back to North Carolina ; died
in 1871 ; his wife following a year after,
and their child, a girl, had been placed
in an orphan asylum. The action of
th? ex-bank officers were prompt;
and ju t. , When told about the
girl, so poor, so desolate, they
sold the bonds oa which were her
grandfather's name, and sent the money
they brought $ 8,250) to a Raleigh
bank, notifying the superintendent of
the orphan asylum where the girl was
being cared for. The case is a curious
one in all respects, and is attracting
much attention in the state wherever
known. The girl is intelligent and
mcdest, and, though no great fortune
comes to her, yet the strangeness of its
coming gives to it an interest which
would not ordinarily attach to it. The
girl has been sent to a lead ng school.
How the Frlnoo of Wales Look.
Olive Lo a i's London Letter.
The most powerful supporter Gen.
Baker has is his liege lord the prince
of Wales, but you know the old adage,
qui sereseru blent, s'assemblent. I saw
the heir apparent in a hansom this
morning not a common hansom, you
understand his own hansom, a mag
nificently appointed little affair, with
such a beauty of a bit of gray horseflesh
between the shafts. Dear me, how
that exqusite, shapely brute did dance
about! Tho driver was a light-weight,
a good-looking young fellow, in the
usual gray livery cf the Wales'.
We alvaj"fc know the princess is
coming when we see the gray livery
and the horses with red head-bands
and red rosettes and we always know
the prince is coming when we see the
gray livery without the red ribbons. So,
forewarned forearmed, we have time to
stop and have a good stare. The prince
is getting uglier and more dissipated
looking every day and the princess
seems more and more charming every
time we see her. Whatever the real
home life of this so famous couple may
be we know not, but their demeanor to
each other in public is so really affec
tionate that one wonders at their clev
erness in keeping up appearances
that is, if they do not care for each
other. We think it surprising that a
man who ha? such a pretty aad good
wife as Alexandra is should care to as
sociate with the creatures we hear his
name coupled with.
Noted Checker-Players.
I Exchange. J
Chess is oftened mentioned as the fa
vorite game of great generals, diplo
mats, and scholars; but the simpler,
though, perhaps, not less pleasing game
of checkers must have its innings on
that score, too. Not only did Plato use
it for philosophical illustration, and
Cicero turn to it for mental diversion,
and Frederick the Great spend hours
over it, but, in later days, such men as
Lincoln and Garibaldi prized it highly ;
and it is said that, as his namesake's
place in Ithaca was the scene of many
checker contests, so Gen. (3 rant used
to "clean out the boys" at West Point
at it, and indeed ascribes much of his
military success to the training of the
sixty-four squares.
furlon Natural Barometer.
Exchange,
The natives of the Chiloe islands
make use of a curious natural barome
ter, to which, from its having been first
noticed by tho captain of an Italian
corvette, the name "Rarometre Arau
cano" has been given. This novel
weather guide is the shell of a crab,
one of the Anomura, probably of tho
genu Lithodes; It is peculiarly sensi
tive to atmospheric changes. It has a
color nearly white, in dry weather; bat
as soon as wet weather approaches
small red spots are exhibited, varying
in number and intensity with the
amount of moisture in the atmosphere.
In the rainy season it is completely
red
Vnder the Cottonwood, j
Chicago Herald "Meddler." !
"I see the cholera is coming," said a big
man to another on the north side street
cars. "I never hear of the epidemic but I
think of an incident that came under my
own observation in Missouri A physi
cian in one of the prairie towns of 1 that
6tate went away to California during the
gold fever that raged so strangely in this
country so many years ago. His compan
ion was his old man-servant, one of the
best old negroes that ever lived. The mis
tress was left in Missouri to take care of the
old house. There were few mails in i those
days and months passed away before any
tidings came back of the master and his
servant. One evening, two vears after,
the old negro came back and found his
"Missus" in the doorway of the old home.
He had a short story to tell. I
First he laid down at her feet f 10,000
in gold. The story told was of a dying
master, his command to the old servant,
and a grave in the sound of the waves of
the Pacific. At the time of the old ser
vant's return the cholera was sweeping
over the west. .That very night the old
servant died, and in an hour after the old
"missus," hearing of it, had passed away.
They were buried on a knoll on the
prairie side by side. Two cottonwood
trees, the only ones in the range of the
eye stood sentinel above their sleeping
pb'.ces. : I
One day two bodies of men fought on
this site. The struggle was brief, jbut it
was as fierce as any that the war witnessed.
It is known in history as the battle of
Lone Jack. During its engagement a
wounded soldier crawled over to i one of
these graves and rested upon it, under the
cottonwood trees. He had not been there
long when another one did the same: thing.
One of them was a rebel soldier, the other
was a Federal. They were brothers. One
of the graves where the greeting took
place was that of the mother of the rebel
and Federal. The other grave was that of
the old servant. The war ended; right
there, so far as those boys were concerned.
I never hear of cholera that I don't think
of this incident. "
Thought Sumthln Was tho Mat
ter. 1
Chicago Herald.
"Did you ever," asked a New York Cen
tral fireman, "hear of old Jerry Drew who
lives up near Rochester? No? Well, we
had a scrimmage with him one day. He
gets drunk every time he goes to I town,
and that day he was drunker than, ever.
He alius seemed to get to the track 'bout
time we got to the road, an' I've seen him
whip up his horses and whoop and yell
and try to get there the same minute we
did many a time. I le seemed to delight in
it. Once he stopped right on the j track,
and when we came up slow with brakes
on he dured us to come any! closer,
and said he'd run over us. Had to
whittle and sc are his horses in order to get
him off. The time I started out to tell you
about, though. Jerry had had too; much
and was sound asleep in his wagon. The
horses went on the track right in front of
us, and the whole institution was! busted
all to pieces. "We stopped as quick as we
could an' run back. Roth horses was
killed and the wagon all cut up to kindlin'
wood an' scrap iron. Over by the! fence
was old Jerry. I saw he wasn't dead right
away. The .shock had woke him up, an'
he was tryin' to drink out of the neck of a
bottle, the neck lein: all there was! left of
it. 'What's the matter here?' I shouted
to him. Re looked up. opened his eyes a
little, an' gazed around him. T guess
hie,' he said, 'I guess. I must o' hie run
into sumthiuV " I
The Jew In ItuIa
Boston Advertiser.
There cau be no question that the Jews
have a hard time of it in Russia The
miserable scenes which have just een en
acted at Novgorod are only a repetition of
what has rejieatedly taken place) during
the past two or three years in various parti
of the czar's dominions. The Russian law
itself teaches the people to look with con
tempt and hostility upon the Jews. Under
that law the avoc ations open to the Jew
are strongly restricted, lie cannot be a
lawyer or a doctor, or even a merchant in
the ordinary sense. He is foreverj forbid
den to hope for anything like social
rank or political preferment, i If he
would live, he must stick to usury! and the
smaller trades. He stands, moreover, in
perpetual peril of insult, outrage, and even
death. His appeal for justice in the courts
and for protection from the state is often
little heeded. The orthodox Russian, how
ever, seeks the aid and converse j of the
Jew, when, as often happens, he is in need
of funds. All over eastern and : southern
Russia the Jews have been for many years
absorbing the land and other properties of
the small boyard and the agricultural class,
foreclosing mortgages and grasping pledged
effects. The natural issue is the j ever-recurring
persecution which the government
is not always prompt to check. ! j
A Convenient Fashion.
New York Times. I
To all wearers of false teeth thej news of
the recent fashion set try a Chicago society
lady will be extremely welcome. This
ladv has an entire set of false upper teeth,
and she neither conceals the fact nor pre
tends that they are preferable to real teeth.
She is also near-sighted, and wears sus
pended to a hook on the northwest summit
of her dress a pair of neat eye-glasses,
which she puts on whenever she wishes to
look at anvthing. Some time ago it oc
corred to her that it would be the! part of
common sense to use her teeth only when
she desired to talk or eat. Accordingly,
she now carries them suspended by a cord
around her neck. When she (meets a
friend she first puts on her eye-glasses and
looks at him, and then puts in her teeth
and indulges in conversatiou. Similarly,
when she goes to dinner, she puts in her
teeth as soon as the soup has disappeared
and the fish is brought on. Reing a leader
of Chicago fashion, her example has been
followed by other ladies, and at a! Chicago
opera quite a large proportion of the ladies
of the audience wear their teeth gracefully
suspended from the neck. : I
Invention of the Shaker.
iNew Orleans Times-Democrat.
The peculiar sect known as the "shak
ing quakers," deserves credit for many of
the useful inventions of the present. More
than half a century ago they tirst origin
ated the drying of sweet corn for food, and
they first raised, papered and vended gar
den seeds in the present styles, From
their first methods of preparing medicinal
roots and herbs for market sprang the im
mense patent medicine trade. j They le
gan the broom-corn business. The
first buzz-saw was made by the shakers at
New Lebanon. This is now in the Al
bany Geological hall. The shakers in
vented metallic pans, first madd of brass
and silver. All distilled liquprs were
abandoned as a beverage by tho shakers
sixty years ago, and during tho past forty
years no fermented liquor of any sort has
been used, except as a medicino. Pork
and tobacco are also numbered among the
"forbidden article." . I
ALMOST OUT OF THE WORLD.
The Simple Little Community on
Lonecome rule an Haut.
New York Sun.
Away off the coast of Maine, outside the
cordon of rocky isles that stretch like a
protecting chain between the Atlantic and
Penobscot bay, exposed to the ceaseless
beat of the waves, aad to the fury of every
storm, is the oldest, lonesomest, and most
primitive spot on the American coast, the
Isle au Haut. This name was given to it
by one of the early French voy
agers, who thought lofty island or
Isle of Weight a most appropri
ate appellation for the sca-g'rt rock,
whose perpendicular sides rise immedi
ately from the water, with scarcely a break
in their monotony or a bit of beach. The
island proper, with eight or ten smaller
companions, now comprises a town, hav
ing leeii set off from Deer Isle in 1874.
All the islands together have an area of
8,000 acres, aud about 200 people live on
t'-em. They all live by the sea, directly
or indirectly, and their life is but a dull
existence. Anthony Merchant first settled
in one of the group, which now beats his
name, in 1772, and since then the hamlet
of fishers has grown by twos and threes,
painfully, slowly. There is no postoffice,
no minister, no lawyer, and no doctor. If
anybody is sick, or wants any red taje, or
an expected letter, he must take a sailboat
and go to Deer island or to Rockland, the
journey beiug nearly always rough and
often impossible.
( n the summit of fhe cliffs is a great
level plot, half sheep pasture and half blue
lerry bog, and there is grown the best
mutton and wool in Maine, and there, too.
is the blueberry pickers' paradise, whole
schooner loads of people ofteu going in
summer from the main land to gather the
berries. There was an attempt made
years ago by a Georgia gentleman to make
Isle au llaut a great summer resort, and he
put all of his own money and that of some
other persons into the scheme. A splendid
pavilion for concerts and dancing w as built
and roads along the cliffs constructed at
great expense. Then, just as the plans
were ready for a great hotel, the finance
department of that association collapsed,
and with it the whole scheme. That was
years ago, before the expressive term
"crank was ou the boards. The natives
used the roads for sheep paths, and dried
nets 011 the hard-piuc floor of the pavilion.
The fishers arc as simple as the old Ar
cadians, of whom it is written: "Neither
locks had they to their door, nor bars to
their windows. " Not manv of them have
ever seen the mainland, and scarcely any
of them know what a city is like. Only a
month ago the first horse ever landed on
the island was brought there, and a good
half of the simple folk gazd then for the
first time upon a member of the equine
species. No steamer ever lands there, and
in all probability the only glimpes of
good-sized steam craft the Islanders ever
get is when, on clear days, . they see
through a gl;is passing vessels of the In
ternational and Roston and Rangor lines.
I'arinerx.
l,)onn Piatt. 'K"
I now hurl buck the foul asjtervion,
made by certain members of the press,
wherein I am charged with falsely posing
as a farmer. If I am not a farmer, friends
and neighbors, I would like to know what
in the old scratch I am?
Now, as I understand it, a farmer is a
man who tills the earth, with great loss to
himself, and benefit to others. So you see
my claim to being a practical fanner can
not Im denied. Like honest Dogberry, I
boast "my losses."
A farmer is a man who toils for fifty
years for the privilege of living ten
and then, in a majority of instances,
gets cheatcxl out of that by rheuma
tism. He rises liefore daylight, and
labors till after dark. He eats what he
can not sell; wears barely enough to make
him decent in appearance, but not suffi
cient for comfort or health, is a hard task
master to his family, and death to his wife.
He is industrious, sober, and, if you don't
touch him ou a horse trade, or too closely
in a little bargain, almost as honest as a
country merchant, and as honorable as a
county court lawyer.
This grand pursuit is the underlying
foundation of our existence. It is not only
the author and creator of our homes, but
of all the immense improvements that
amaze the world. This net-work of rail
roads, measuring over 100,000 miles of
operating rails, was built by farmers.
These great c ities, all these towns, canals,
telegraph, mines and manufactories were
built out of our earnings. We make eight
tenths of the labor of the land.
The ITIaorl King.
London Letter.
We have a tatooed man over here who
is attracting a great deal of attention. This
is the Maori king, Tawhiao. The king at
tended the JIaverly Minstrel show at
Drury Lane the other night, and was the
observed of all observers. He looked like
a new kind of minstrel himself. Skidmore,
the interpreter (probably one of the orig
inal Skidmore guards), tried to translate
some of the jokes for his majesty, Iit if
the sullen looks of the king are any cri
terion he did not approve of them, which
shows him to le a man of some sense.
The Maori king is tattooed in a manner
that gives him a surprised sort of look.
Commencing over the nose !etween the
eyes the tattoo marks radiate all over a
rather large forehead. It looks something
as if the tattooer tried to make a picture
of a sunrise. The nose is ornamented
with little circles, and from the base of the
nose other lines corao round under the
chin to the nose again. The king is tall,
but walks with an undignified shuffle.
Something seems the matter with hi9
knees. He gets sick every few days in
other words, drunk.
SurprUed at Connecticut.
New York Sun.
" Yes, sah, " said a North Carolinian at
the New York hotel yesterday, " I like yo'
city very much, but, sah, I am very much
puzzled at Connecticut. 1 have been up
thar on business, and I have ridden pretty
much all over the state a consid'ble
po'tion of the way in a buggy. It's a
pretty country. Thar's lots of neat-looking
places, some fine buildings, plenty of
nice stock, and it is evident that thar's a
freat deal of wealth; but, sah, I can't un
erstand how they live up thar. The
rocks are so big, sah, and thar's so many
of them, that I can't see where they can
raise anything to feed themselves with, for
I give you my word, on my honor as a
gentleman, sah, that if I was put down
thar, sah, though I am a farmer, I would
starve to death. And yet, sah, they ten
me, sah, that the hay crop of that mass ol
stone carbuncles, sah, called New England,
was one-third mrc in value than the
whole of the cotton crop of the south. I
tell you, sah, it s'prises me. "
Springfield (Ia.) New Era: A man
should always consider himself under obli
gation to sweep first his own dooryard.
The Current: Among the ln arts the
"tlie-holier-than-thou-aru."
"Fly Loo In St. Louii.
St. Louis Post-Diitch.
If you should happen to drop into a
saloon, gentle reader, as a novelist would
say, with the addition; probably, of a sav
ing clause, and if you should happen W
find there a prominent doctor, lawyer,
merchant, stock-broker and statesman
standing in line a little distance from tlw
liar, doing nothing but intently and atix
iously watching something lying thereon,
you need not conclude that they are pon
dering deep problems in their respective
spheres of activity. In .a moment or two,
K-rhaps, one of the watchers will spring
rward, exclaiming: "It's mine! I've
won! That's my lump! He lit on mine!"
or something to that effect, and after a
more or less heated discussion; ending
with the drinks all around, the group w ill
drop back again .into a state ofquieseent
watchfulness. They are only playing "fiy
loo," which is an all UbsorHing, soul -entrancing
game of chance that threatens, in
its flush of popularity in St. Louis, to
supersede all others and even to throw
racing pools into the background.
"Fly loo" is exceedingly simple, easy to
learn and the greatest neophyte may be a
successful as the oldest expert. It is played
by borrowing as many lumps of sugar
from l4he bar bowl as there are players,
placint them on the counter and waiting.
The oVvner of the lump on which a fly
first alirhts is winner, and the game opens
again. JThe- stakes are all the way from
the drinks to as much money as the play
ers choose to put up, and sometimes con
siderable sums are wagered on the fancy of
a frolicsome and sweet-toothed fly. It U
all the rage about town, and it is a com
mon anil amusing sight to see solid-look
ing business and professional lights watch
ing the antics of a house fly. If any one
thinks it is not a fascinating game let him
try it.
A Too Wlllluz Young TXan.
Burlington Hawkeyo.
"Do you love me as dearly as men have
ever loved women?" said Mabel, finding an
easy anchorage for her cheek about the
latitude of his upper vest pocket and the
longitude of his left suspender.
"More," said George, with waning en
thusiasm, for this was alxnit the
214th encore to which he had
responded since 8 o'clock. "More, f.u
more dearly. Oh. ever so much more."
"Would you,' she went on. ami thero
was a tremulous imprcssivencas in her
voice that warned the young man that the
star was going to leave her lines aud spring
something new ou the house! "Would
you le wlr'ng to work and wait for me, as
Ihichel waited at the well, seven lom;
years?"
"Seven!" he cried, in a blast of genuine
devotion. "Seven! Aj-c, gladly 1 Yes,
and more! Even until seventy times seven!
Let's make it s. venty. anyhow, and prove
my devotion."
Somehow or other he was alone when
he left the parlor a few minutes later and
it looks now as though he would have to
wait about 700 years" before he saves fuel
by toasting his shins at the low-down grate
in that parlor again. There are men, my -son,
who always overdo, the ll,irg hey
want to be mrejws; than Mose;y Vi-w fcr
than Samson and ten times moi parti r uU
thanJob. ' '
Terra Cotta Cofflnt.
'Have you any terra cotta coffins?' wai
asked of -Sir. A. R. Scars by a customex
who had called to order a casket.
"No they are not in use,"' answered Mr.
Sears.
"Didn't you advocate them last year and
write a communication to Dr. Wright
about the propriety of using them?"
"I did; but that was merely a sugges
tion which was forced upon me by finding
so many graves at Elniwood and othei
cemeteries half-filled with water. The terra
cotta or baked clay coffin Is the cleanest,
safest and best receptacle for the dead,
aside from cremation, which is the highest
and fittest burial art. The ancients us.d
them, and they are found very frequently
in excavating "old sepulchers."
The customer bargained for a cloth
covered and draped casket, and ordered it
sent immediately to a number designated.
"Would terra cotta coffins be received
favorably?" asked a reporter who wai
present in the undertaker's establishment.
"They undoubtedly would," said 3Ir.
Sears. "After I wrote that letter to Dr.
Wright, prominent men of thi3 city stopped
me on the street to tell me how much
they liked the idea. But people are too
fond of decoration now to take up any
thing so plain and sensible. They are
even draping and ornamenting the metalle
casket to make it look like a work-basket
or a jewel-case."
A Comedian Presence of Jllnd.
London Letter.
There was nearly a panic at Drury Luu
theatre the other night. The oxyhydro
gen apparatus exploded under the stage
and badly hurt two men. The audience
were panic stricken, but the end men
saved things by their presence of mind.
Haverly's minstrels are at the theatre and
among them is Emerson. When the cm mi
shook the theatre Billy shouted to th
other end man: "Did you hear my trunk
fall?" Sweetman replied: "Golly, that
your trunk? Mighty heavy trunk that?"
"Yes" said Emerson, "left that full of
stones to pay my hotel bill, and the land
lord's just chucked it out of the window."
The audience took in all this and believed
the explosion was part of the programme,
like the old lady who thought the trains
always stopped like that, when on her first
ride there was a collision. The pajK-r
praise the presence of mind of the Ameri
can minstrels. Charles Wyndham pre
vented a panic in his theatre in a similar
way not long since.
A Ship Odometer.
Cor. New Orleans Times-Democrat.
This ship has the first odometer in plain
sight that I have seen. It is an instrument
for measuring the distance traveled by th.
boat affixed to the gunwale of the oop.
A long rope, with a small propeller at
tached, trails behind in the water aud
causes the clockwork to operate. The
length of the rope has to 1 altered to cor
respond with the speed, or else the officers
have to make an allowance in their calcu
lations to meet the discrepancy. The odo
meter is a great improvement on the old
log system.
Not From the West.
Philadelphia Call.
Edith Here is a pretty poem, entitled
"He and I," by Adelaide Proctor. Who U
she?
Mabel A well-known writer evidently
an eastern girl, judging from the title cf
that poem.
Edith Why, how does the title indicate
that she is an eastern girl?
Mabel Were she a western girl lit
title would be "Me and Him."
Had DUeait and Worn Itemed y.
A cure has been disco vercd in South
America for elephantiasis. It is to cat tho
flesh of a turkey-buzzard a bird so loathe
some that starving people have been known
to refuse it when offered as a dLrh.