THE COLUMBIAN.
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I 0. AT) AITS, Editor and Proprietor.
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VOL. IV.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, JUNE 13, 1884.
NO. 45.
Throe months, " 50
THE COLUMBIAN.
COLUMBIAN.
DONT YOU TELL.
Hiawatha Herald.
If yon have a cherished secret,
Don't you tell.
Not yonr f rieni for his tympanum
Is a bell,
With its echoes, wide rebounding,
Multiplied and far resounding;
DoutyoutelL
If yourself, you cannot keep it, -
Then, who can I
Could you more expect of any
Other man?
Yet you put him if he tells it
If he gives away or sells it,
. Under ban.
Soli year gems to any buyer
In the mart;"
Of your vealth to feed the hungry
Sj are a part.
Blessings o: the open pocket.
But your secret kpdt, lock it
In your heart.
DOGS AND STARS.
feome Incidents Id the Ldfe of Theat
rical Htnrs and Their Canines.
Philadelphia Times.
Madimo Christine Nilsson's heroic
rescue of a doz from the clutche of a
parcel of boys caused a great deal of
favorable comment among the mem
bers of the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Animals, of Philadelphia,
end tho recurrence has also revived m
theatrical circles many touching stories
about actresses and dors, most of
which are comparatively new :
"Loag Deiore mt. Abbey 1 mean
Madame Nilsson rescued the dog,'
said John Stottoa's representative at
the Walnut Street theatre, "Miss Sara
Jewett's dog fell out of the fourth-
storv window of the Continental hotel.
This was last week daring the engage
ment of the Fifth Avenue company
here. Two legs and a rib were broken.
Dr. Agnew was sent for and repaired
the damages. Miss Jewett bore the
shock with great fortitude. She took
it as one of the trials of a star's life.
When she was in a stock company her
dogs never fell out of the window.
breaking of dogs, nave you seen our
pug?"
Miss Jewett's dog is just a little too
previous," said Manager Rice at the
Arch Street opera house. "Miss Marie
. Conron lost her dog, a beautiful skye,
when the Duff company nrst came here.
It was one of the first things that Mr.
Duff did I mean it was one of the first
misfortunes that happened to the com
pany.
"One of the saddest incidents that I
ever beheld," said Mr. Gilmore, at the
Grand Central theatre, "was when
Miss Lyddy Denier "s dog, a toy terrier,
hardly larger than a mouse, leaped
from its mistress arms as she was leav
ing thi3 theatre, and was positively
crushed to death by a passing coupe.
Miss Denier was the leading lady of
the Buffalo Bill combination, which I
need hardly, say hf re- before : the
Duff company. I hardly like to accuse
Miss Conron's dog of plagiarism, but I
think that skye is a trifle left, so to
speak."
"All these people forget," said Stage
Director Frank H. Wade, at the Arch
Street theatre, "that Miss Hose
Eytinge's bull-dog which appeared in
'Oliver Twist,' leaped from the light
ning expre33 ' train while on its way to
this city to New York, at the very be
ginning of the season way back in
September and Has never been seen
since. Kate Claxton lost her diamonds
a litt!e while ago. The bull-dog
recognized the crisis and leaped.
"But," said Mr. Zimmerman, "the
original canine calamity befell a mem
ber of Mr. Abbey's company nearly
two years ago. I hare just been given
by M. Maurice Grau the real reason of
Sicmor Campanini's absence from this
country last year. Most people who
witnessed his farewell performance at
the New York Academy of Music
nearly two years ago will remember
that among the evidences of popular
favor which followed his suTerb rendi
tion of JVlannco m Irovatore was a
small dog collar. The singer hid the
breaking heart with which he accepted
the gift under a smile. Its intended
recipient was no more. On that very
day the Lnglish pug in whose existence
the first of living tenors was wrapped
up, had broken his neck in striving to
touch the high C of the final 'Addio,'
which his master reaches with such
ease in th tower scene. Signor
Campanini vowe l never to revisit the
scene of his anguish. Col. Mapleson
was unable to cause him to change
his determination, but he yielded to
Mr. Abbeys arguments."
Chances In the Same XIacara.
Chicago Times.
The name Niagara has passed through
many orthographical changes in the last
2U0 years, in 16S7 it was written Onia-
goragh. In 1686 Gov. Dongan appeared
uncertain about it and spelled it Obni-
agero, Oyagara,. and Onyagro. The
French in 1688 to 1709 wrote it Nia
guro, Onvagare, Onvagra, and Oney-
gra. Philip Livingston wrote in 1720
to 1730 Octjagra, Jagera, and Yagerah;
and Schuyler and Livingston, commis
sioners of Indian affairs, wrote it in 720
Onjayerae, Ochiagara, etc. In 1721 it I
was written On; agora, Oniagara and,
accidentally, probably, Niagara, as at
present. iieut. Lindsay wrote it Ni
agara ml 51. bo did Capt. De Lan-
cey (son of Gov. De Lancey), who was
an officer in the Lnghsh army that cap
tured Fort Niagara from the French in
159. These pioneers may, however,
be excused in view of the fact as will
be attested by postmasters that some
letter-writers of to-day seem quite as un
decided about the orthography of this
world-wide familiar name.
Tricks
of Lobbyists at the CaoltaL
IBen: Perley Poore.
One of the lobbyists has an attractive
,., . ...1. :
uauuici wmu goes xuio society ana ex
tends civilities to the wives and daugh
ters of members, while he gives them
lunches and good liquor. Another
first -class lobbyist is renowned as a
poker player, and never hesitates about
losing a few hundred dollars when he
t A - 1 T . ...
uetsxrea uigrui.iat.tf luiuauu Willi 1116
winner.
Concernlnz Jonah.
In a sermon at New York Rev. Dr.
Deems said he had reason to believe
the story of Jonah and the whale, as
lie himself, while traveling in Egypt,
' had seen a whale in whose bosom the
skeleton of a man was found.
A PLEA FOR THE MULE.
Where the 31nln Is Seen at Ills
llest
A Xoble Animal.
1 Turf, Field and Farm.
It is only among some of the Latin
races, as in Spain and Portugal and in
the east, that the mule and his sire, the
ass, are appreciated at their true value.
With' the nations of Germanic descent.
and more particularly th.3 Anglo-Saxon,
a prejudice as deeply Tooted as it is
ill-founded, pre.ents that familiar, af
fectionate association with the ass and
the mule which does so much to develop
the finest instincts, and humanize, as it
l. A. t 1 tT
were; tha norse ana ine aog. witn us
horses are bred for pleasure as well aa
profit. There is some sentiment in the
thing, and one rarely parts with a fine
colt, at whatever price, without more
or less re-jret.
There was a time, however, a few
centuries since, when even in England
the mule was the peer of his aristocratic
half-brother the horse; when clad in
magnificent housings he proudly bore
upon his back the abbots, the bishops
and the princes of the all-powerlul
.Roman church, nor would this have
been the case had he not been deemed
by the luxurious and self-iadulgent
prelates of that day as far superior to
the horse for .the purposes of the sad
dle.
Even as late as 1830 the mule was
held to be an indispensable part of the
appendage of the Bourbon dynasty of
x ranee, and whenever the court of
Charles X moved from the palace of
the Tuileries to Compiejrne or x ontaine-
bleaoi it was in coaches drawn at a
gallop of ten miles an hour by superb
teams of Spanish mules, and such
mules! Near sixteen hands high,
matched to a hair, glossy black in color,
'mealy mouthed," with legs and eyes
like antelopes, and showing in spirit,
action and endurance the generous
Barb blood of their maternal ancestry.
But to see the mule at his best we
should go to the sunny shores of the
Mediterranean to Spain and Portugal.
J. he Arabian domination of oui) years
on that great peninsula hlied it with
horses of Arabian and Barb blood, and
this blood, to which we attribute the
best qualities of the modern race horse,
and, paradoxical as it mav seem, the
sweet temper, the broad forehead, the
expressive eve and beautiful ear of the
massive 1'ercheron, nows, ana freely,
too, in the veins of the Spanish mule,
and imparts to him an appearance as
superior to American mules bred for
the drudgery of our southern planta
ins as is that of the Kings of the turf
to the coarsest Conestoga.
Whoever has had the good fortune to
have seen the high-strung and highly
bred mules harnessed to the traveling
equipages of the Spanish king dashing
thiough the Puerto-del-bol at a ten
mile gait, or has -encountered the in
terminable processions of gaily-capari-
soned mules bearing the names of all
the saints in the calendar, threading
with unerring feet the dangerous de
files of the Pyrenees and the Sierra
Morena, to the sound of innumerable
tinkling of bells, will cease at once
and forever to object to the mule on the
score of his appearance; and whoever
has seen the large, dark-eved, blown,
dirty,! ragged, but beautiful children of
Andalusia gamboling as fearlessly and
with as much impunity under the heels
of the mules with which they were
brought up as do the children in the
tents of the Arab among the mares,
will be compelled to adm.t that with
the same kind treatment the mule, too,
will develop traits as near akin to hu
manity as the dog and the horse.
e are inclined to believe that well
bred mules possess undeveloped quali
ties for both quick draught and the
saddle, for which the general public is
cot inclined to give them credit, and
we are convinced from actual observa
tion that for light, quick draught over
long distances, and continuous from
day to day. and for saddle-gaits, mules
carefully bred are equal and per
haps I superior to our average light-
draught and saddle-horses.
We remember - a pair of mules, bred
by one of the Shelby s, in Kentucky,
that drew a carriage containing five
heavy men forty miles over an ordinary
road in live hours, without turning a
hair or crack of the whip, and returned
the next day with e jual ease and in the
same time.
In 1836 we saw on Bed river, La.,
$700 paid for a saddle mule that could
pace at tha rate of ten miles an hour
for hours together.
e have a friend in Happahannock,
Va., Tom Hughes, a regular son of
Anak; in size, six feet five in his stock
ings, big in proportion and tipping the
beam at over 2U0 pounds, who for sev
eral seasons rode in the first flight to
hounds hunting a country that was
nearly all mountain on a mule that
never made a misstep or refused a leap
over fence or wall.
Young; Men of the Month,
if. Quad's Selma Letter.
The destiny of the south is in the
hands of men under 45 years of age.
In looking about a southern town its
young men are the first point to be
considered. Within ten years they will
rush ; it to the front or abandon it.
Here in Selma four-fifths of the business
is in the hands of men under 45, and a
great share of it in still younger hands.
The boys who were 8, 10 and 12 years
Old when the war closed are cow the
business men of the south, and they are
full of enterprise. Here in Selma they
appear to be an earnest, industrious
set, and are advancing towards pros
perity. You find them cheerful when
the older men are gloomy; you find
them hopeful when the older men ta'k
of hard times ; you find them ready to
encourage all legitimate, enterprises
when their fathers are content with
what they have.
Caoie for Reform.
Philadelphia Call.
Mr. B. (to his new wife) Do you
object to the odor of tobacco, dear ?
Mrs. B. (who had been a widow)
Oh, no, not at all!
Mr. B. Are you sure dear ? Don t
Bay yes if a c'gar is distasteful.
Mrs. B. Oh, I love it!
Mr. B. You do?
Mrs. B. Yes, it reminds me so much
of ray poor dear first husband. He
always
Mr. B. stopped smoking.
Presidential Wealth.
Utica Herald.
Gen. Grant is estimated at $200,000,
which makes him the richest ex-presi-
dent since Buchanan. Hayes is not
rich, though in a well-to-do condition
Andy Johnson and Abraham Lincoln
each left $50,000. ; MiJard Fillmore
made a snug fortune out of the law.
and was comparatively rich when he
became resident. Gen. Taylor saved
his army salary, and was in independ
ent circumstances when elected to the
presidency. He held the office hardly
a year and a half, and left a property
worth $50,000. Tyler was a bankrupt
when the death of Harrison made him
president, and he married a fortune in
Alias Gardner. He went out of oifice
rich man, but he became a leader in the
Confederacy, and his property was
sunk in the general ruin occasioned by
the war.
James K. Polk had good opportunity
to make money before his election, and
he was an economist by nature. He
left 150.000. Martin Yan Buren was
the richest of all our presidents,
his estate-being estimated at $800,-
000. He made money as a law
yer and also as a politician,
and his real-estate purchases became
immensely profitable, but his money
has been almost entirely waded by his
heirs. Andrew Jackson was not
money-making man. He lived nine
years after the expiration of his term of
office, and left only a large landed e it ate
commonly known as the Hermitage
John Quincy Adams was a methodical
business man and an economist. He
left about $00,000. which at that time
was a large sum. James Monroe was
so toor in his old age that he became
the guest of his son-in-law, Samuel L
Gouveneur, in this city, where he died.
Mad. son was mere successful in taking
care of his money, and left his widow
rrotertv which enabled her to bve
handsomely in Washington till the end
of her days.
Jefferson passed his last days in
much distress, and was really afraid
that his place would be sold by the
sheriff. He was an object of public
charity and a subscription was opened
in his behalf in this city, but his death
occurred so soon that the benevolent
effort was not required. Old John Adams
left an estate worth $30,000. Washing
ton was a rich man for his day, his
wealth being solely due to marriage
Mount Yernon -was not a productive
property, but Mrs. Curtis brought him
a large fortune which she inherited
from her first husband. Viewing our
presidents in a merely pecuniary esti
mate, there are a hundred men in this
city each of whom could buy out the
whole of them. When one contem
plates their true worth, however, one
sees how utterly poor mere wealth be
comes in comparison.
Vain ot His Uniform.
Bow Bells.
Napoleon Bonaparte (according to
the new memoir of him by Mme. Junot,
who knew him from his youth up,) was
one of the men who "cannot take a
joke." The day on which he first wore
a soldier s uniform he was as vain of
his clothes as a west end carpet war
nor. Mme. Junot adds: 1 here was
one part of his dress which had a very
droll appearance that was his boots
They were so high and wide that his
thin little legs seemed buried in their
amplitude, oung people are always
ready to observe anything ridiculous,
and as soon as my sister and I saw
Napoleon enter the drawing-room we
burst into a loud fit of laughter. Bona
parte could not relish a joke, and when
he found himself the object of merri
ment he grew angry.
"My sister, who was some years older
than I, told him that since he wore a
sword he ought to be gallant to ladies,
and, instead of being angry, should be
happy that they joked with him. 'You
are nothing but a child, a little school
girl,' said Napoleon in a tone of con
tempt. Cecile, who was 12 or 13 years
of age, was highly indignant at
being called a child, and she
hastily resented the affront by re
plying to Bonaparte, 'And you are
nothing but a puss in boots. This ex
cited a general laugh among all present
except Napoleon, whose rage I wul not
attempt to describe." He was then 16
years of cge, and his professor of his
tory had already written of him in his
notes, "Corsican by nature and by
character, he will go far if circum
stances favor him." Yet he could be
vain of his uniform.
A Snowball Itomeranar.
Neva-la Letter.
Two miners living on Alum creek
went up to the mountain above their
cabin last week to set some stakes.
After their work was done one of them
made a snowball and threw it at the
other, who returned the fire. One of
the balls lodged on a slope more than a
mile long directly above their cabin.
The sun was sh n ng brightly and the
6now was toft. Fc r a second the ball
rested where it fell, and then it began
to roll, increasing in bulk as it went.
Presently the ball, once held in a man's
hand, grew to the size of a hogs
head, and when a furious momen
tum had been gained it burst into
several pieces, each of which continued
rolling until a strip of ground 100 feet
wide was cleared of snow. In the r
descent these huge snowballs picked
up rocks and earth untd, merging in
one immense mass, the avalanche, bear
ing down giant trees and stumps, struck
the cabin of th9 men who started it
and carried it away as easily as if it had
been made of paper. Everything in
the path of the slide was swept to the
bed of the strea n and buried fifty feet
deep in snow. The miners, watched
the havoc they had wrought, and, after
examining the spot wnere once their
cabin stood, they started for Hawthorne
for a tent and b.ankets.
Believes In a Ooze.
IFbimdelpuia Record.
Never was there a worse swindle per
petrated on humanity than that which
asserts that when a man wakes from
his first sleep he ought to cet up. If
he wakes thoroughly refreshed after
seven hours' sleep it is certainly ime
to turn and stretch, and, after about
fifteen minutes grace, to dress ; but he
who wakes at early morn, after a
rest of four or five hours, will do well
to tarn oyer and go to sleep again.
A ROMAN CIRCUS.
Not Greatly Different from the Circus
of To-Day.
St Nicholas.
Borne is astir eariy; citizens and
strangers, slaves and soldiers are all
hurrying toward the great pleasure
ground of Rome, the Circus Maximua
With flutes playing merrily, with sway
ing standards and gleaming statues
with proud young . cadets, with priests
and guards with crested helms, skilled
performers, restless horses and glitter
ing chariots, down the 6acred street
winds a long procession, led by the boy
magistrate, Marcus of Rome, the
favorite of the emperor. It passes
into the great circus and files'
into the arena. Two hundred thou
sand people think, boyB, of a circus
tent that holds 200,000 people! riss to
their feet and welcome it with hearty
hand-clapping. The trumpets sound
prelude, the young magistrate (standing
in his suggestns, or state box), flings
the mappa, or white flag, into the course
as the signal for the start; and, as a
ringing shout goe3 up, four glittering
chariots, rich in their decorations o:
gold and polished ivory, and drawn by
four plunging horses, burst from their
arched stalls and dash around the track
Green, blue, red, white the colors o
the drivers stream from their tunics
Around and around tney go. IN ow one
and now another is ahead. The people
strain and cheer, and many a wager is
laid as to the victor.
Another shout! The red chariot
turning too sharply, grates against the
meta, or short pillar that stands at the
upper end of the track, guarding the
low central wall ; the horses rear and
plunge, the driver struggles manfully
to control them, but all in vam ; over
goes the chariot, while the cow mad
dened horses dashed wildly on until
checked by mounted attendants and led
off to their stalls. "Blue! - blue!"
"Green ! green !" rise the varying shouts,
as the contending chariots still struggle
for the lead. White is far behind.
Now comes the seventh or final round.
Blue leads ! No, green is ahead ! Neck
and neck down the homestretch they go
magoificentlv; and then the cheer of
victory is heard, as, with a final dash,
the green rider strikes the white cord
first and the race is won !
Now. in the interval between the
races, come the athletic sports ; foot
racing and wrestling, rope-dancing and
high leaping, quoit-throwing, and ju
venile matches. Une man runs a race
with a fleet Cappadocian horse ; another
expert rider drives two bare-backed
horses twice" around the track, leaping
from back to bacK as the horses dash
around. Can you see any very great
difference between the circus perform
ance of A. D. 13S and one of A. D.
1884?
The Clothes. Pin Supply.
Indianapolis Journal.
The latest campaign lie is to the ef
fect that the American republic gets
away with 3,000,000,000 clothes-pins
annually. Now, it is evident that sixty
clothes-pins per head per annum is cer
tainlv a very liberal estimate, lake a
family of ten persons their allowance
in the regular way would be 600 pins a
year. It is a well known fact tnat
there are certain classes of people, ag
gregating thousands, that have no use
for clothes-pins. Take a bachelor. The
only possible enployment he can devise
for Mich a thing is to fasten his sns
penders to his trousers. But a dozen
pins per year would be a very generous
allowance for him.
Then there are babies. Babies don't
use clothes-pins excessively, and per
haps on an average an ordinary baby
doesn't swallow more than six or seven
in a twelve-mcnth, and most of them
are recovered by anxious mothers un
willing to encourage such expensive
habits of diet. Business men use
clothes-pins very sparingly, while the
majority of preachers could not tell a
clothes-pin from a meat skewer. We are
then driven to the hired girL upon whom
depends the responsibility of account
incr for 600 clothes-pins a year. That
she does not use them for fuel is plain
enough, since nobody ever saw a
clothes-pin that weighed less than a
pound and a half on account of the wa
ter it has assimilated, and by no possi
ble process could it be made to burn
The secret of this mystery as great as
the one concerning the, d'sappearance
of ordinary pins is that the girl must
swallow them.
Xo Partnership.
nVa'l Street News.
A bull who had been roaming around the
country for several years, tossing up every
object he could get his horns under, one day
met a bear and said:
"See here stranger, , why can't you and I
live on better terms?"
"Howf
"Why, let us travel together and whack up
the profits. You don't seem to be such a bad
fellow, and I know there's nothing mean
about me."
"if v dear sir." softly replied the bear, as he
brushed a fly off his nose, "did we enter irfto
partnership there would be no profits. As it
is, a toss is followed by a squeeze, and vice
versa. Did we both attack the same victim
at once w should certainly quarrel and give
him a chance to escape."
That'll ho that's so" mused the bull, and
helifted Wabash a point and bellowed to the
bear to look out for a tumble.
AH In the Family.
Texas Sittings.
"Your father was nothing but a simple
stonemason.''
"I know where you got that information,"
quietly remarked the other.
"From whom did I get it?"
"From your father."
"How do you know thatr
"Because your father was my father's hod-
earner.
Ills Flri uhjf'.
"What shall I write about?'' asked a
young reporter of the managing editor.
Uh, write about tue i rt m:ng mai
comes to hand was the bnei oraer.
The scribe drew his pay that night for
an article on "door knobi."
Indiann-nnlia TTataII ? - Th trntli i
hat in these divs of eazerness for o'lice.
too many men think to use moner-bacrs
as floaters. In time the bags collap.se,
and the owrtora eto under.
Twelve million clocks were manufactured
laatyear.
A Woman's Rrady Wit. j
New York Letter.
Speaking of Washington reminds me
of a story I heard the other day about
a lady, the wife of an ex-Lnited States
minister, who is made the heroiue of
most of the stories of eccentricity that
amuse society. I he ladv wa3 in Lon
don last year, and we heard much o:
her from the other side. Of course she
wished to attend one of her majesty's
drawing rooms, and she found little
difficulty in obtaining an invitation
One of the peculiarities of this lady is
her manner of dressing. She wears
what she likes, and never seems to
thick whether it is appropriate or not
As every one knows, no one is allowed
to appear before the nueen except in
a dress with a train. It used to be that
a low neck was required, but that is
not absolutely necessary cow. To the
surprise of every one Mrs. ! ar
rived at court in a short dress, with a
red shawl thrown carelessly over her
arm.' The eyeglasses of the aristocracy
were at once leveled upon her. lhat
sort of attention, however, never gives
her any discomfiture.
But she was flying in the face of
court etiquette, and the American
minister was. called upon, lie im
mediately sent one of his secretaries to
expostulate with Mrs. , and urged
her to return to her lodgings. Not
she. There was no social bull tha
she could not take by the horns, i No
little thing such a the waiit of a train
was going to drive her out after she
once got to court. In the twinkling of
an eye, and before the whole drawing-
room, she took the shawl from her arm
shook it out at full length and pinned
the ends to her shoulders: and then,
with: a careless glance at her impro
vised train, she took the arm of the
secretary and sailed into the roya
presence, cot the slightest bit disturbed
by the pecuuarity of her drapery,
Possibly the queen did not notice it,
for One's back is never turned to
royalty. If she had, I think her sense
of humor would have overcome her an
noyance.
Prayers and Pistols.
Fannie B. Ward's Zacatecos Letter.
It was a queer experience. This
evening we attended 1'resbyterian
services in the old ban Ausrustine.
better take your pistols, said Dr.
Jesi; so Betsey and I put our shining
little weapons in the small sachels : we
always wear at our belts. Behind
pulpit stood the usual guns, ready
instant service, while every man in
house and probably most of
the
for
the
the
women were conspicuously armed
But it was a very attentive audience,
mostly Mexican converts, with thought
lui laces ana evident earnest purpose
to abide by the faith within them. It
seemed strange enough to hear familiar
hymns in this far-away land "Jesus,
lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom
fly, I Irom Greenland s icy mount
ains,! ana Bock of ages, cleft for me
dear old tunes, which brought tears
to our eyes, though the words were
those of an alien tongue. And the read
ing of the sacred word in Spanish, the
prayers, with uas nos esco dia nuestra
pana," (give us this day our daily bread).
and the stirring sermon which followed,
were all a study worthy of attention, j
In the midst of the services a sjuad
of soldiers filed in and ranged them
selves on each side of the doorway, so
that none could escape. Instantly
every man s baud sougut his weapon,
and women s faces paled with terror,
but the services went calmly on without
interruption. It proved that these
minions of the law had come to arrest
an aged rascal who Lad been per
sistently attempting to assassinate his
own Bon. The young man, who is a
member of this church, is about to wed
a Protestant girl, which so enraged his
sire that he determined to destroy his
own flesh and blood. The long, thin
blade with which the old man meant to
do the murderous deed flashed sharply
for an instant in his trembling hands,
but he was quickly disarmed and led
away. i
Another Lincoln Story.
New York Times.
Here is a new Lincoln story, properly
authenticated, suitable for publication
about this time, as the - old almanacs
used to h ,ve it : Just after the publi
cation of Secretary Chase s exceedingly
able treasury report in lobd, and when
the secretary was known to have the
presidential bee buzzing in his bonnet,
zealous friend of the president went
to him (Lincoln) with a suggestion that
Mr. Chase should be looked after ; he
was using his power as secretary of the
treasury to further his own ambitious
schemes. Lincoln laughed shrewdly,
and brought out the inevitable story of
which he was reminded. , i
An Illinois farmer, tilling a few acres
of land and employing only one poor
old horse, was plowing one day, while
his son regarded the operation from the
nearest fence. Suddenly the old, spirit
less horse pricked up his ears and
started briskly onward in the furrow,
almost dragging the old man at : the
plow-tail around the land. The lad
surveyed the unusual sight from ; the
ence, the old man having hard work
to keep up as the horse went flying
aroucd, and then he cried out: "Say,
dad, iwhy don't you brush off that gad
fly on old Dobbin's back?" As he flew
past the old, man replied: "I never saw
Dobbin doing so well before. Let ; the
gad-fly be." How Lincoln made the
application any man cau tell. And if
there are any high officials so troubled
with the presidential gad-fly that they
are doing unusually well, it were a pity
to disturb them now.
Kerve and Coolness.
Pittsburg Dispatch. - M
A Tjaucaster woman was bragging the
other
evening of her nerve and cool
The next day as she was looking
store window at a choice thing in
ness.
in a
Hamburgs,,, a strange dog incidentally
poked his n se aga nst her bare hand,
and ( he jumped and yelled so loud that
she shook off a pound and a half of ex
cellent back hair. j
filch-Priced Books. i
Exchange. i
There are only two American booka
which have a market value approximat
ing i,ooo; they are the "Bay rsaim
Book," wh'ch has been sold as high as
$1,2(M), and El ot'a Ind:an Bible"Up-
Bibliim God, in the aboriginal tongue.
NEW YORK LEDGER WRITERS.
What They Are Paid Sylvanns Cobb,
Jr., and now He Ore w Famous.
New York Letter in Indianapolis Times.
I asked Mr. Bouner if "The Gun-
maker of Moscow," written by Sylvanus
Cobb, Jr., as we all know, did not make
The Ledger its early fame.
"No," he said, "The Ledger had 100.-
000 subscribers before I ever published
that; though I hold that 'The Gun
maker of Moscow,' 'Uncle Tom's Cabin,'
and The Hidden Hand,' are the three
greatest stories this country has ever
produced." "
"The Hidden Hand," as everybody
knows, is Mrs. Southworth s work,
and is now running in The Ledger the
third time. "The Gunmaker" has also
jiaa a tuira term oeiore tne puoiic.
Every few years a new generation of
readers arises that devours these stories
as eagerly as did their elders a quarter
of a century ago. Both have been drama
tized with success. Svlvanu Cobb,
Jr., has written for The Ledger al
most ever since Mr. Bonner has
owned it. He lives in Boston, and
is the son of a distinguished preacher
of the same name who died a few
years since. When Mr. Bonner first
employed him he was a proof-reader,
and in odd hours wrote stories for
Gleason's Pictorial, a literary pictorial
which has been succeeded by Ballou s
Magazine, I think. He was the great
card of that journal, and received
higher pay than any other contributor
$100 for a story running through six
numbers; not a princely sum for a
serial now surely, but considered quite
ample then.
The publishers of Gleason's Pictorial
offended Mr. Bonner by printing a
paragraph to the effect that the prices
he claimed to pay to some of his con
tributors were fictitious, lhe same
number of The Pictorial contained an
advertisement of The Ledger which had
been solicited. Mr. Bonner wrote the
publisher, asking him if he thought it
either courteous or honest to solicit a
favor and gat it and then do his best to
damage the man who had favored him.
tie replied he did not, and was very
sorry his paper had made such
an erroneous statement; it had
been done in bis absence, etc., had
"crept" in, probably, as errors always
make their entree into newspapers if
the editors' assertion is to be taken as
fact nobody ever heard of one walk
ing, or jumping or riding in. Still he
couldn't publicly take back what his
journal had naid, although "very sorry.
very sorry, etc. Mr. Bonner repned
that he never took a private apology
lor a public wrong. Meantime he cast
about for some means of reminding his
adversary that he could not be openly
slapped without resenting it. He wrote
Sylvanus Cobb a note asking if
he was under contract to work
only for The Pictorial. If not,
Mr. Bonner intimated that he
had something to say to him. He
was not restricted in any way, and, as
requested, he told what he received for
his stories. Mr. Bonner at once of
fered him double the amount for a story
and contracted with him for five more
before he announced him in The Ledger.
lhe publisher of lhe 1'ictorial was
away from home when he heard the
news, and at once teiegrapneu Air.
Cobb to make no permanent arrange
ments with anybody else until he re
turned. But the mischief had already
been done, and Mr. Cobb was on the
high road to fortune Although Mr.
Bonner only paid him $200 for his first
story, he has since paid him as high as
$ 10,000 for some of his work.
Just before employing Sylvanus Cobb
Mr. Bonner paid Fanny Fern, then at
the height of her fame as the author of
"Ruth Hall," $1,000 for a ten-column
story. For fourteen years afterward,
or until she died, she never failed to
write every week for The Ledger, her
crisp and dashing comments on men
and manners occupying a noticeable po
sition on the fourth page. They were
eagerly read, too, by all classes of read
ers.
"Indeed," said Mr. Bonner, "Fanny
Fern never could have written anything
dull, even if she had tried: neither can
Henry Ward Beecher."
One ECK En ought
Anaheim Gazette.
One ostrich egg for ten guests is the
pattern at the California ostrich farm.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten," said Dwight Whiting,
counting the guests he had invited to
spend the day at the ostrich farm with
him; "I guess one egg will be enough.
And having giving utterance to this
expression, he wended his way to the
paddock and soon brought to the house
an ostrich egg. lhe triumph of the
feast was the egg.' For a whole
hour it was boiled, and though there
was then some misgiving as to its being
cooked, the shell was broken, for curi
osity could no longer be restrained,
and a three-pound hard-boiled egg laid
upon the plate. But aside from its
size there was nothing peculiar about
it. lhe white had the bluish tinge seen
in duck eggs, and the yolk was of the
usual color. It tasted as it looked
ike a duck egg and had no flavor pecu-
lar to itself. But it was immense ! As
it takes twenty-eight hen eggs to equal
in weight the ostrich egg which was
cooked, it is evident that the host knew
what he was about in cooking only one.
lhere was enough and to spare; and
before leavmg the table the party
unanimously agreed that ostrich egg
was good.
- The lot of the Physician.
Burlington Pren
A leading physicfan tells the Idler a
unnv story in illustration of this point.
A prominent citizen, meeting the disci
ple of Esculapius one day, began com
plaining that he was sick the night be-
ore dreadfully sick; "and 1 would
have sent lor you, aoctor, omy ii
hated to have my old mare go out on
such a stormy night!" The afflicted
citizen had a world of sympathy for
his horse, but not a particle for his
ong-suffering physician, and the publio
n general is apt to take a similar view
of the matter.
Rev. Joseph Cook declares that there
are "not over five newspapers in the
United States that a self-respecting
American would recommend a foreign
visitor to read.
The Malrldal Meorplon.
New York Sun.
There is one animal which unques
tionably does kill Itself the scorpion.
I had often read that that litt e beast
will stab himself to death witu the
poison dagger in h.a tail wLen
surrounded with a o.rcle of fire. I
doubted the story, but it is true. Once
at Havana, I saw a l.ttle black, plump,
crawl.cg reptile, between two andturee
inches long, mak.ng pretty quick way
across the tiled floor of a large panor.
"A scorpion 1" was the cry ef oaie rela
tives who were to the manner born, aua
he was soon impr soued under the glass
dome of a goblet, it was cur ous then
to witness the little creature's rage. He
was evidently in a fury, dasn ng mm-
self aga nst h s transparent glass wa Is,
and sometimes curling up h s ta 1 1 11
the end touched his head, form ng a
vertical ring. But he did not stab nor
strike himself, and at last lay down,
seemingly exhausted. We did cot try
the fire experiment upon him, and he
was carried off to be k died by the black
servants. But I know from two n.eces
that on a subsequent occasion, when a
scorpion was caught in a similar man
cer, their brother, to conv nee them of
the truth of tue creature's suicide when
confined within an enclosure pf fire.
surrounded it with a ring of cotton
wool saturated with alcohol, and fired
the ring. -The scorpion dash- d about
the eery pr.son from place to place,
evidently in mingled fright and fury.
and in search of an opening, till at last,
despairing of escape, he v ent to the -center
of the circle, coiled h's tail over
to his head, and they saw him
stab himself several times viciously
with his sting, and he speed.ly sank
down dead. Ab they described it to
me, his fat little body was gashed in
many places with his self-inflicted
stabs. There is no real reason to be
lieve that the animal knew that it was
putting an end to its own life, or that it
had any idea of ceasing to be, or of
what death is. It was more probably
from an instinctive impulse, in blind
rage and fury, to stride, Btnice, struce
at the only object in reach of its natural
weapon. In the case in which 1 saw
one imprisoned under a goblet, he did
not strike at the transparent crystal,
which ' he probably did not see, seeing
only the external objects around. The
fire seemed to madden the furious little
beast.
Americanizing; Parisian Journalism.
New York World.
The two young newspaper men who are
making a tilt just at present in the way of
Americanizing Parisian Journalism are
named Chamberlain and Ives. The former
is a son ot the late Ivory Chamberlain, and
for a number of years be acted as the private
secretary of James Gordon Bennett. The
holder of that position must be a crack
journalist, because Bennett likes to imagine
himself an editorial writer, and is forever
suggesting subjects which his secretary has
to write out. Chamberlain got 1 10,000 a
year and all bis expenses for traveling with
Bennett. It is said that some of his former
employer's money is invested in The Paris
Morning News.
Ives, who has a slice of the property, used
to be In New York Journalism. He went to
that city from Buffalo, where his parents
reside still. He is a tall, slim young man,
with an olive complexion and a big black
eyebrow that runs straight across his fore
head. There Is a strain of Indian blood in his
veins. Some years ago be marrie 1 the lovely
and accomplished daughter of Mr. Frank B.
Carpenter, the artist. lie went ebrovl to
work in London for the Associated Frees, and
distinguished himself by bunting Oakey Hall
to his London hiding-place wbeu that erratic
individual ran away to England some years
aga ives was men snapp9a up oy l ue Her
ald, whose work be did in London for two or
three years.
Finally Mr. Bennett ordored him to Farts.
Dublin, San Francisco and New York in
quick succession, countermanding each order
just as Ires got under way. That was too
much for the young man's Indian temper.
and he sent in a hot letter of resignation, to
which Bennett replied: "I have received
your Impudent communication, and its
contents are quite satisfactory to me." Then
Ives wrote back: "Glad to know you think
me Impudent. I have been told that all I
needed to make a first-class Herald man was
a complete stoeic oi tnat article." un too
whole, Chamberlain and Ives are the kind of
young men who seem likely to make journal
ism hum in Paris.
Into Outer Iarkness.
; Eastern Exchange.
When the audience of a Boston thea
tre was being dismissed during a rain
storm a man in trying to open an um
brella in the lobby, lifted th(Tpoint so
that it caught a lady beneath the coil of
her hair on the back of her heal. To
the horror rf the gentleman he saw the
lady's bonnet and her entire head of
hair mount upward on the point of his
umbrella. There was agony and re
morse on both sides. Apologies were
of no avail. The unhappy man darted
forth into the stormy night. The lady
did not wait to replace her head gear,
but disappeared with it in her hand
into the gloomy recesses of an attend
ant hack.
What Ifoit Must Take to Washington.
Lady Correspondent
The gentleman coming to Washington, un
less be wishes to miss a moct instructive por
tion of his stay here, must bring an evening
dress suit (rwallow tall and white or black
necktie.) This warning is not so unnecessary
might be supposed. The salt may be
forgotten or purposely left at home, the
gentleman not intending to viit, and then
on arrival he is embarrassed that be cannot
go- properly dressed exactly where be ought
to go. The lady should bring a good plain
black silk dress, with illusion or pretty lacs
for neck and sleeves. Tbia, with long light
or tan-colorea gloves and a few natural
flowers, will pass for a stranger on any occa
sion that may offer. Here the unexpected is
tha Inevitable, and it is well to be prepared.
A Frencn iv.
Chicago Tribune.
Yves Guvot, the 1 ari journalist,
tells how King Louis XVIII, when he
returned from exile, asked louche if
bis movements had been watched by
spie-i. 1 ouctie admitted that tue una
de Blacas had been so employed. "And
how much did you give him?" asked
Louis. "Two hundred thousand livres,"
was the reply. "Good," said the mon
arch, "I find he did not cheat me. e
went halves." 0
Christian Ad ocatd : cit -.er wealth.
nor mtei igenoe. nor culture, nor
society o in purchase exemption froui
the great law of self-denial.
: i