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THE COLUMBIAN.
THE COLUMBIAN.
Published Eveky Friday,
at
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
BY
E. 0. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor.
Puklished Every'Friday,
AT '
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR,
BY
E. Q. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor.
Advertising Rates :
One square (10 lines) first insertion. . f 2 00
Each subsequent insertion 1 00
. . w "
. - mlvn .......... S2 IJU
NO, 27.
. " 1 W)
VOL. IV.
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ST. HELENS. COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, FEBRUARY S, 1884.
1
Hexleo iaeenen iifssary.
Frtnnw H. Ward in Pioneer Press.
In Mexico there are no alms-houses
to shelter the paupers, but mendicants
are rcgnlsrlv licensed, and allowed to
live out their lives in their own way,
as long as not considered" dangerous.
Throughout tho length and breadth of
tho country Saturday is known as
u.T.av's Day" when, under counte-
nanceVf church and state, they levy
n,..; r demands upon ieople with the ut
most confidence. They come out of
il,oir holes and coverts in swarmsthe
blind, the halt, the lame and the lazy
and by sunrise on Saturday morning
the streets are full of them. First they
make the tour of the shops and mar
k?cf. tvr.d the merchants, expecting
thM.i. have laid bv a store of small
frti- tho tmmose. To neglect to
mvn would be a poo.: advertisement,
for among the profess'onal beggars are
wnmc a:ood customers for the rest tT the
week. Then they patrol every street
lniu.4t is loft .unvisited. or a
person who-n thev meet nuhnportuned.
The legalized paupers are never im
pertinent, but if t vir so harshly re
pulsed will make you an obeisance
worthv of Chesterdeld in his palmiest
davs, and politely respond, "perdo
neine usted." A favorite expedient for
T.itfinT ri.l of them six davs in the
w.vk is to sav. nada na ta Sabido
nothing until Saturday with which
implied promise they are perfectly sat
isfied. Their quiet assurance is so:ne-
timfls junnsin ' The other day a one-
lesrired man accosted me in the market-
idace. with outstretched hand and
tue
usual per Dios for God's sake. I
felt
in my purse, but found nothing less
than a dollar, rather too much for a
wandering scribe to squander upon one
nf lO.O(K) a!h'cants: but without the
least embarrassment the o'-d fellow
drew from his pocket a handful of sil
ver and courteously offered to make
change for me.
Knsrllah View f AnierJean Hotels.
London TeL'sraph.
If, on tiie other hand, we turn to the
United States, vo lind a country in
which prevails a hotel system the most
c l a! orate and niosc extensive in the
world. A truest miv obtain nearly all
the requirements in life in an American
hotel. "There he ca i eat, and drink,
and sleep, wire telegraphic messages to
the uttermost ends of the earth, real at
Chicago by menus of the " perpetual
tapeworm' machine the quotations of
the exchanges of LonJIo i and Paris,
have his hair cut, be "bar ed" and
"lixed," purchase tickets for the play,
read tl;e papers lw electric light, hava
his visiting card engraved, his bojts
poushetl ami ins corns cut, borrow um
brellas and dies suits bv the day or
night, and buy cigars, chewing tobacco,
railroad ticket, comic publications,
white kid gloves, and molasses candy.
"l'ssentials and "non-essentials" alike
are provided at fixed price, and no fees
ar.) nommijlv expected. hen the
traveler pays his weekly bill f( r board
Le dee not find it snpplemented by a
per day for attendance; an 1, if the
tiavelerbe reallv what the American
term a "right mean cuss," he may travel
from Capo Cod to t io Uoldeu (jae,
slid from the irv.lf of Mexico to Wash
ington territory, without, so far as hi
ho el bills are couerne;l, uisuursing a
s ngle cent beyond the stipulated
charge.
Adam
PreferaUV to the
ISartholdl
Liberty."
Mark Twain's Lettvr.
But,
Adam.
on the other hand look at
What have we done for Adam ?
Nothing. What lias Adam done for us?
Everything. He gave us life, he gave
us death, lie gave us heaven, he gave us
hell. These are inestimable privileges
ami rememVer, not one of them
should wo have had without Adam.
Well,-then, he o:iirfit to have a monu
ment for evolution is steadily and
surely abolishing him; and v.e must get
up a monument, and be quicli about it,
or our children's children will grow up
ignorant that there ever was an Adam.
With tritiing alterations, this present
statue will answer very well for Adam.
You can turn that blanket into an ulster
without any trouble: part the hair on
one side, or conceal the sex of his head
with a fire helmet, ami at once lies a
man: put a harp and a halo and a palm
branch in the left hand to symbolize a
pait of what Adam did for us, and leave
the fire-basket just where it is, to sym
bo'ize the rest. Mv friend, the father
of life and death and taxes, "ha been
neideeted long enough. Shall this in
famy be allowed to go on or shall it stop
right here?
A Krhool In TonK
Cor. Worcester Spy.
Wo visited j college fr r young boys.
The class-rooms were small, without
windows. and lighted from the
ntrance door only. Little benches a
fimt hitrh we e u ed for desks, the
scholars aud teachers sitting on the
f!oor. They all studied aloud. Each
scholar in reciting took his seat directly
in front of the teacher, and within easy
reach of his rod, both continually swav
ii g their bodies back a d forth. Most
t f the professors were quite young men,
with verv inte'.bgcnt faces. Trench is
considered very essential in the educa
tion of boys. The poor girls are not
educated at all, verv few being able to
read. We only heard of three who had
this accomplishment, and these were the
daughters of the secretary of the bey.
'Ihe women spend their time in making
their c!othes, dressing and sleeping.
Had llooke I Onto Nix.
Exchange.
Tho n;an who was abo-.t to marry for
fclmtdvth time, and who replied, " We've
rsaallv tot." wh n nsived by his minis
ter to stand up, has been heard from
u.iin. He leeeiitiv led No. 7 to the
altar, and. when asked for tho ring, re-
j lied, "Parso.i, I've hooked onto six of
Vui without a ring, and we kin git
along this time. I'll try and remember
'.i iu tho future, though.
llver Work,
New York f-iun.
"What different sorts of work do
ilivers ao?"
"Well, they lay sea walls, blast rocks,
l.nild niers for b.idges, repair vessels.
(ear up wrecks, search for dead bodies,
..,r thincs that have fallen over-
i,.anl and do anything that is to be
The Kaeces
of Co-operative
Socle
ties.
Demorest's Monthly.
In this country, co-operative societies
have leen a failure. Indeed thev ean-
not be said to have succeeded anywhere
except in England, and there only in
one kind of business, to-wit, in stores
for distributing goods at a small ad
vance over cost price. All attempts in
the way of co-operative production
that is, in the manufacture of goods
have been almost total failures. Of
course, companies and corporations
have succeeded in transacting business,
but we are speaking now of the co
operation of working-people, so as to
secure all the profits from their own
labor. Tho co-operative; stores of
England, however, have been wonder
fully prosperous. At the clo3e of 1881
there were 1.1S9 distributive societies
in successful operation. , These had
573,000 members. The share ' capital
was nearly S'jy.OOO.O'JO and the yearly
sales were over $100,000,000. The
saving in profits was about 10 per cent
or $10,000,000.
The two largest co-operative societies
in England are the Civil Service Supply
association and the Army and Aavy Co
operative society. This last . societv
mploys 3,500 men and 200 women. It
has been so popular that it has begun
manufacturing articles for sale. The
secret of tho success of distributive co
operation is because everything is done
for cash.. The stores of England pre
viously gave unlimited credit, aud con
sequently made many bad debts, and
thus were forced to put high charges
on all their goods to make a living
profit. Ihe co-operative societies in
troduced cash payments, made no bad
debts, and thus had an advantage over
the old-fashioned store. Doubtless the
reason why co-operation has failed in
this country is because of the one price
and casli system introduced originally
into the dry goods trade by the late A.
T. Stewart. Selling cheaper, and being
content with small profits, ho ruined
his competitors in trade, and by the
magnitude of his transactions acquired
a vast fortune. It is the cash system in
the stores of our large cities which has
prevented the" growth of co-operative
societies here.
An Honest Uerman'a IHlemma.
Detroit Free Press.
A German farmer was on trial in one
of the justice courts the other day for
assault and battery, and . had pleaded
not guilty. W hen the cross-examina
tion came the opposing counsel asked :
iNow, Jacob, there was trouble b
tween you and the plaintiff, wasn t
there?"
"I oxpect dere vhas."
"He said something about vour dog
leing a sheep-killer, and you resented
it, eh?"
" Vhell, I calls lam a liar."
Jiixactly. -. Then he called you 30mo
hard names i
"He calls me n saner-kraut Dutch
mans.
"Just so. That made you mad?" .
"Oof course. I vhaa so madt I shake
all oafer."
"I thought so. Now, Jacob, you are
a man who speaKs the truth. 1 don t
believe you could le hired to tell a lie.
ell, I plief 1 vhas pooty honest."
"Of course you are of course. Now
Jacob, you must have struck the first
blow. You see ."
The other lawyer objected, and after
a wrangle the defendant turned to the
court and said :
"I doan' oxactly make oudt how it
vhas. I like to own oop dot I shtruck
first, but haf paid my lawyer $5 to
brove de odder vhav. I doan' like to
tell a lie. but I feel badt to lose der
money."
. Xo Mjntery to II m.
Detroit Free Pres.
A stubbed farmer, who had come to
market with a load of potatoes, entereii
a restaurant near the Cenual market
and called for a dozen oysters on the
half-shell. A couple of jokers happened
to be in the place, and, while one at
tracted the farmer s attention lor a mo
ment, tho other dropped a bullet into
one of the oyster shells. The man
gulped down one after another,1 unti
he got the one with the bullet in his
mouth. Calmly and quietly he bit at the
lea 1 with his teeth calmly and quietly
ho removed it from his mouth and
turned to the light.
'By George! but it's a bullet!" cried
one of the men.
"Probably shot into the oyster to kill
him, added the other.
"Well, that is a mystery," said tho man
behind the counter.
"Gentlemen, that's no mvstery to me,
replied the farmer, as he deposited the
ball in his vest pocket . "At the battle
of Fair Oaks, over twenty years ago.
was hit in tha log by that very bullet.
It's been a long time working up, bu
she's hero at last, and I'll have it hung
to my watch chain if it costs $5.
Klsslnz Men.
New York Mercury.
Ihe Knssian men kiss each other on
Easter morn and the Latin men on any
occasion when seized with a spasm of
friendship or anection. It is nausea t
ing. On the entry of tho German
crown prince into Madrid, Alfonso
kissed Fritz and i'rit: kissed Alfonso
It wai in keeping with the Latin prac
tice that the Spanish : king should sa
lute the heir of the throne of Germany
butrritz was inexcusable. Ihe leu
ton race was supposed to have evolved
out of that sort of kissing, which is an
exhibition of weakness, better calle
Miss Nancyism. Alsace and Lorraine
are not likely to be retained by a kisser
of men.
Xovel Artillery Projectile.
Chicago Tribune.
Hcrr Krnpp, of Essen, has just taken
out a patent for a flat-headed artillery
projectile. It tapers slightly at the
butt, and not only pierces the plates
more easily than tho pointed kind
which are apt to deflect when striking
iron at oertain angles, but it is calcu
lated to hit the ironclads below the
water-line.
dirashopners.
Nrt .v Yoi-k Herald.
In one district of Yucatan in
u fort
night there were killed iJO.OOO
pounds
of grasshoppers aud over 11 ,000 pounds
; : ; n ! : : ; i I ' .
SAGE AT A CANDY STAND.
How the Millionaire cuaraetermtie-
ally Kxtend IIIi Balnem Instinct
from Dollar to Cents.
'Uncle BilP In Chicago Herald.
Russell Sago is the only man who
1 1
knows how many minions ui uunu.ro
lussell Sage possesses. At any rate,
he is enormously weaimy. jiuergiujj
from a railroad meeting of directors the
other dav, in which he had been in coh
erence with Jay Gould and other irce-
. . i:m. 1 .!
suses, he came io a mno m o uu
in the street. Part of the stock con
sisted of chocolate cubes m a heap.
"How much are those? Sage asked.
"Two cent apiece," replied the ven
der.
"Haven't you any for a cent?"
"No, but I can break one of 'em in
two."
A niece of the candy was accordingly
halved, and the millionaire bought it.
He is careless as to dress and rural in
countenance, so that his manner of
purchasing excited no surprise, except
in several spectators who recognized
him as the Wall street celebrity. To
them his careul saving of a cent indi
cated characteristic parsimony, and be
fore night their account of it had been
. .. . . . , ,
carried oy brokers tongues an over
town. Nevertheless, Sage is a philan
thropist. Ho has given $150,000 to
Cornell university, he is a liberal con
tributor to charities in his home city of
Brooklyn, he is a financial pillar in
Plymouth church, and in other " ways
privately and publicly
benevolent.
How do 1 reconcile tlieso
facts with
Simply by
the impor
they are
his dicker over the can dy ?
calling your attention to
tant consideration that
all outside of
Wall street neigh-
borhood. He
leaves sentimental
softness behind when he enters tliat
precinct of hard business. It is as
though he deposited his heart in some
safe receptacle ou starting for his daily
struggle for more dollars and took along
only his head f 'ill of brains, lie is nota
. . . ... , , -i i i-
blv exact aim just in an nis ueuuugs-
His written aereements to buy or sell
stocks technically denominated pats
and calls pass current in Wall street
like bank notes among merchants. Heis
an arbitrator among speculators, too,
aud his"Tou-hand decisions are seldom
anoealed from, so sound and respected
are thev. It is Inch praise of a Wall
street operator, all things considered,
and I would not like to bestow it reck
lessly, but I really do not believe that
Sasre would have divided the piece oi
chocolate unequally if the cutting had
bjen L-ft to him by a blind dealer. It
was in business hours, the spot was
within business limits, and he was in
stinctively extending his business in
stinct from dollars down to cents. He
was fresh from the absorbing work 6f
bargaining and scheming over the whole
Delaware & Lackawanna railroad.
Could ho be expected to instantly throw
oir themonev's-worth-and-niore impossi
ble spirit ? Looking at the subject in
that reasonable way, it is fair to acquit
Bussell Sage of meanness in this pur
chase of half a square of candy for i
cent.
Fremont" Inel and Candidaey.
CrofTut in Chicago Tribune.
The other evening I met Mr. J. C.
Derby, the veteran publisher, who is
about to publish his reminiscences
under the cover of "Fifty Years with
Authors." During the talk conversa
tion fell on his rather remarkable in
tercourse with eight of our presidents,
He told an incident about tf.e first lie
publican candidate. "When Fremont
was nominated," he said, "I wanted to
issue his biography, as our house had
been in the habit of printing the lives
of presidential candidates. Castir
about for a while my choice fell on
John Bisrelow, editor" of The Evening
Post, a paper which, formerly Demo
cratic, had become llepublican. I made
an arrangement with him to do it. But
The Tribuno was also a power in the
country at that time, and Charles A.
Dana, its managing editor, was very
much in earnest for Fremont's success.
I wanted The Tribune satisfied with the
biography; so it was finally agreed that
Bigelow should write it and that Dana
should see all the proof-sheets, thus
brinerinor their joint shrewdness and
prudence to bear.
This project was carried out. Every
thing went harmoniously until the
work was half dune, when Dana re
turned a set of proof-sheets which gave
an account of x remont s duel, tie
thought it was not best to allude to tho
duel at all. It was a foolish mci
dent - of tho candidate's youth ;
millions of people were opposed
to dueling, and many would not
vote for a duelist. Bigelow insisted
that a biography should be veracious
and complete ; that nothing should be
dodcred or concealed; that all that he
had put into the book about the due
was historical matter, well known to
his enemies, and. if left out would be
Quoted not only against him. but to
prove the untrustworthiness of tho
biography. Dana pleaded that if tho
duel episode was included in the book
Fremont would lose the whole Quaker
vote and would be defeated. It was in
cluded, and Fremont was beafen. But
he made a splendid run and consolidated
the Republican party. 1 doubt if any
body else could have polled more votes,
Xo Inside Clapper.
New Orleans Thnos-Democrat.
I have not seen a bell efc in Japan
that was supplied with an inside clap
per. Even the bells that serve as tiro
alarms in the citiei are simply bells or
gongs, against which some wooden
or metallic object is pushed. Theso
templo bells are rung by means of long
wooden beams, hooped with iron
which swing by means, of ropes s is'
pended from the belfry ceilin.", and are
pushed back and forth bv natives. The
belfry always stands apart from tho
temple.
KsotlMtu.
Exchange
Profossor "Egotism consists in con
stantly talking of one s self. It is
very bad habit for a young man to get
into." Student "Oh, I see! Then
you would have a fello.v admire him
self in secret, wen, perhaps you are
right: but I can't, nndorstand why
twrson shouldn't sharo his pleas
uro with others." The professor did
not pursue the subject.
Grant and Ward.
,t"Oath.MJ
The friends of Gen. Grant through-
oat the country may be interested to
know that his private affairs are in a
flourishing condition. He has one-fourth
interest in the banking firm of Grant &
Ward, which had an original capital of
$400,000 paid in. Ulysses S. Grant,
Jr., put in $100,000 and James D. Fish,
the silent partner, $100,000. The firm,
chiefly managed by Ward, did very
well, and Gen. Grant desired to come
in. He first put m $50,000 and after
ward desiring his son Jesse to enter the
firm, his associates agreed to let him
put in $50,000 more, but in his own
name, so as not to increase the number
6f partners. While Gen. Gi'ant takes
no part in making contracts, signing
checks, or in the executive details of the
business, he is a valuable man through
his character e4 connections, both for
credit and for diplomatic work. Be
sides making large divisions of profits,
this firm has about $800,000 of securi
ties belonging to it.
Mr. Ferdinand Ward, ben. Urant s
partner, is worth a million and a half
and was only 32 years old last week.
He beerau life as a Presbyterian mis
sionary's son, buying and selling certifi-
4i. xr. vi.
caies OI meuioersuip in me no
produce exchange. He predicted that
these certificates would go up to $10,000
apiece. They can be borrowed for
temporary use by any person uesiring
to do business in the exchange. ' Mr.
Ward has a fine villa at Stamford,
Conn., and there made the acquaintance
of Gen. Grant s son, which led up to
his connection with the- father. He is
one of the phenomenal young men in
this city. He came from Genesoo, and
among his earliest transactions was
selling to the region job lots of fl ur left
over at the produce exchange.
Mr. Ward, as I have intimated, is the
son of the Rev. Dr. Ward, Presbyterian
minister at Geneseo, N. Y., who was
for many years a missionary to India.
Rev. Mr. Ward was afterward consul
there. His son never went with him to
the Indies, but came to New York with
the intention of entering Princeton col
lege, but found that his instincts were
toward -business, and he became the
clerk in the produce exchange under our
nresent Comptroller Grant. He has
kept the confidence of every employer
and friend he becran with. The mayor
.
has put into the hands of his banking
firm the negotiation of the ju.wkj
of anueduct bonds, and Mr. Fish, his
first friend of wealth, takes breakfast
and dinner with him in Brooklyn every
day.
Bound to See the Procession.
New York Journal.
A wisp of a boy waited in -Fifth av
enue, New York, Monday afternoon foi
the procession. He was clubbed by a po
liceman for not getting outjof the way.
He was kicked by - a colored majors
horse. A hook and ladder wagon
knocked him down. Three companies
of Jersey militia marched over him
He made his way through the crowd
which skirted the sidewalk, cuffed by
thi3 man and jostled by that, and got
to a fence in front of a Fifth avenue
house, stood upon the top of the fence,
which was about half an inch
wide. He was thinly clad, and
as the rain came down grew
verv wet. When the bands came
' along playing "Red, White and Blue,
"Marching Through Georgia," and"
Never Drink Behind the Bar " the rain
ceased to him. He threw up his ragged
hat. The rain dripped oft his clothes
as it drops from an icicle. He was
soaked with rain. He hurrahed and
shouted in the rain. He was oblivious
of the rain. To him it was an Indian
summer day. When the Volunteer fire
men appeared he was beside himself
with enthusiasm. His wet clothes were
as tight on him as his own skin. He
iumned down from his perch and ran
into the street. He caught hold of tho
rear part of Bier Six fire engine, just
behird the tiger, and marched, thrilled
with happiness at touching the engine
with his hands, all the way to the Bat
tery. When he was coming back
heavy artillery wagon ran over him at
the Bowery Green and mashed him
into the mire. He was pulled out and
ran away covered with mud, but full of
joy.
Effypt'H Gigantic Task.
Pall Mall Gazette.
There is something unspeakably gro
tesque in the attempt made by the
pigmy state at the mouth of the Nile to
establish a gigantic empire in the heart
of central Africa. The restored govern -ment
of the khedive is about the weak
est power in existence. Y'et it is bent
upon attempting a task from which
England herself would recoil.
The Soudan, it should never be for
gotten, is as large as India. It stretches
1,000 miles in one direction and l.duuin
another. Unlike India, it is inaccessi
ble by the sea. It is inhabited by war
like tribes of the same faith ; it has
neither railways, canals, nor navigable
rivers, excepting the Nile at some
periods of the year; and its only roads
are camel tracks. rom nrst to last it
has never paid its expenses. The at
tempt to hold it has cost 50,000 lives at
least, and the net result is that we are
waiting anxiously to know whether or
not-Col. Hicks has shared the fate that
has already overtaken Capt. Moncrieff.
To re-establish tho authority of the
Eirvptian government if Egypt were cut
off bv a ring fence from the rest of the
world would bo difficult enough, but
what chance is there of success when
the dwarf at Cairo insists on carrying
on his shoulders the burden of foreign
empire? -
Jeff Davi to an Kdltor.
: W. J. Lampton, a Cincinnati journal
iar vAnn Mv wrote to Jefferson Davis
cla'imincr relationship. He received the
e-ood-natured reply: "Some
on a fnrraanrvndent endeavored
jcnia o(ju vw . 4-
tn. (..An mir TAlatinnnlun tf Kill!' lieorco
iu uabo uij .m-. i i-j - o
IXL. connecting therewith a theory that
the writer and myself were the proper
Wco fortune in Enerland. I
that T tnnst surrender all claim
to the fortune, being quite sure that I
. . A - 1 A
was in no degree amn to ueorga ; uui
an editor is a different thing, and I shall
. int that, fnrtnne in England
w cij is" v-- i --
not considered) to be assured that I am
a relative of vours. in tne meantime x
am very respectfully yours."
RAPID TRANSIT IN NEW YCHK.
The Jtroadway L'ndersroand Railroad
the Next Candidate for Public Ap
proval.
rCroffut in Pioneer Pres. I
Rapid transit in New York j still
clamors for solution. The elevated road,
with all its dodging of equitable taxa
tion, is an untold blessing to the city
so great a convenience to travel, and so
striking a benefit to property, that liti
gation against it has ceasad almost al
together. But it is insufficient quite
insufficient. For five hours of every
day it goes crowded, and does not begin
to accomodate those wishing to ride.
And these are the very hours: that
measure the need. As the strength of
a chain is only the strength of its weak
est link, so the requirements of up-and-down
travel in New York is measured
by the thousands that stand on j plat
forms between 5 and 7,' unable to get
on the trains. Moreover, these .roads
are running to their full capacity, j They
can rim no more than four cars to the
train, and the trains can go no nearer
together. W hat next ? .More elevated
roads are objected to, because they are
really an eyesore, are somewhat dan-
, , ,t
gerous, and use up vaiuaoie grounu
that is needed for the wagon-wayj
The next candidate for public ap
proval is the Broadway Underground
Railroad company. This has a charter
to construct a tunnel road of two tracks
from the Battery to tho Harlem j river,
forking at Madison square and passing
northward via Madison avenue and
Broadway. It ha3 given a bond to the
citv to finish this road as far ai Central
park by January 1, 1887, and the money
is promised to complete the big job by
that time. But the company is going
before the legislature this winter, to ask
for an extension of its powers the
rierht. namely, to lay four tracks instead
of two, the middle pair to be for express
trains, going at tho rate of forty miles
an hour, including stoppages. In order
to do this the whole of Broadway, must
be dugout twenty feet deep and arcaded
the whole width between the buildings,
the upper roadwav, at the present level,
b.-incr devoted to its present uses. The
company claims that it can daily carry
a quarter of a million passengers, or as
many as all the public vehicles put to
gether now carry, and this is probable
enouch.
The chief objection hitherto made to
this plan is that it would injure build
insrs on Broadway, that the jar might
shake them down. M. C. Smith, the
president, ex-Secretary Windom,
Jerome Fassler, of Ohio, and William
J. McAlpine, and the Baron Blanc, civil
encrineers. have been to London this
summer, examining tho underground
road there in its bearing on this difn
cultv. The road passes under all sorts
of great buildings, including I hotels,
churches, and a largo hospital, goes
under the! erreat thirty-six-ton i monu
ment of George IV., within six! inches
rf the masonarv. under hundreds of
totvering old walls: and yet Mri McAl
pine tells me that it has never cracked
a bit of masonry, or ha 1 a cent 6f dam
acre to pay, and that the trains of a road
under Broadway will cause less vibra
tion to the buildings than is now made
by a passing omnibus. The reports ol
tho engineers will bo laid before the
lecidature. with maps illustrating and
substantiating them. j
. .
A Iarlns School Teacher.
f Detroi t Free Piss. 1 f
Tho town of Shenandoah, Pa.L which
was recently burned, though a place o)
12.000 inhabitants, is not down on tlu
school maps. At Wilkesbarre, Pa
school teacher undertook to j remedy
this defect by setting her scholars tc
seek information in the reports of mine
inspectors, newspapers and people in
town. The facts collected by each
scholar were then read aloud to all. Ol
course it is hard to believe, but it is as
serted on good authority that the cliil
dren took more interest and showed
more enthusiasm in this work than thev
did even in respecting the alphabetical
list of the rivers in Hindoostan aild o:
the mountains of South America.
Of course, too, there is danger of the
school teacher's dismissal for I wasting
her own and the pupils time, but that
is one of the risks of the business. 11
teachers undertake on their own respon
sibilitv to excite the minds of the schol
ars. to loosen their grip on the text
books, to set them to investigating and
observing and thinking for themselves
they must also take the risk of ; running
against routine and red tape.
WeHton'H Advice.
Exchange.!
E. P. Weston, the pedestrian is in the
habit, by his own account, of giving
wholesome advice to the British aristoc
racy about their diet. He occasionally
dines at the tables of the great, and
makes comments on the viands som&
what in this style : A lady who sat next
to him, and to whom he was a porfoc
stranger, expressed a desire: for beel
well done. "Excuse me, miss, but you'l
get no more nourishment out of that than
out of chips and shavings." Mr. Weston
is not without hopes that he will eventu
allv reform the dinners of the peerage
and persuade "our old nobility" that
half-cooked meat and a walk of 500
miles in 1 00 days, make the summit o
human bliss.
Xilson.
Gath.1
Nilsson has made much money, but
her marriage was not fortunate in
worldly point of view. Her husband
was a speculator, who took her monej
and lost it, and went insane. I What re
maincd his relatives endeavored to get
She also lost money in American in
vestments. Sho is making money, and
it is to bo hoped that she is more than
independent. A little of the peasant
adheres to her. While singing in New
York this winter she has once or twice
rebuked talk or noise on the stage, and
shown that the extreme north of Europe
has hotter blood than the south.
Mary Andernon's Vonen.
Olive Logan writes from London
that the talk of 5 o'clock teas is Marv
Anderson's statuesquo poses. Gossir
has it that she frequents the British
museum and learns of the sculpture'
Hebe and of Helen the secret of their
charm ; of the Nereides, the I swan-like
grace of the movements of 1 sea god
desses; of tho various Vonusos, tho lost
art of their wondrous fascinations.
At an Old-Time Dar,
Baltimore Day.
"Are any of the old-time, ante-bellum
bar-keepers still living?"
"Jimmie Mcxaroy is probably the oniy
one or any prominence, x or many
years he presided over the bar at Bar-
nnm s at a time when the receipts irom
this source would . have alone set the
table for the entire hotel. 'Old Jimmie,'
m t a
as he was iamuiariy cauea, was a de
lightful companion, and the staid, re
portable citizen who would receive a
drink from no other hand than his
missed him sadly when he retired to
the shades of private life. In those days
Barnum's bar was the resort for all fie
men about town. It washere that
Edward Spencer found the originals of
he two characters, the judge ana tne
major, whose efforts to gain a drink at
somebody s expense furnished ail tne
merriment in fKit, the Arkansas Trav
eler. These wore a-DfHUason and MaJ.
Cllicott They were both members of
old and highly respected Maryland
families, who had descended through
retrular gradations to the very depths of
that terrible decay which is best known
as shabby genteel. How they lived was
a mystery with which the world little
concerned itself. Every morning found
them snugly esconced in a quiet corner
of Jimmie's bar-room. Here they would
sit unobserved by the patrons, but in
such a position that the faces of the lat
ter were faithfully reflected in the mir
rors. Then one would sally forth and
approach the bar in an unconcerned
sort of fashion. If his presence was
unobserved he would rattle the lid of
the cracker-box in such a manner as to
attract attention to himself. Recog
nition would usually follow. If invited
to drink he would say- with a patroniz
mg air: 'Allow me
'Allow me to introduce my
His companion, who had
friend
meanwhile silently loined the group.
would then be presented. The drink
once swallowed they would bow the
gentleman politely out and retire to
their corner to repeat the strategem
again at the first favorable opportunity."
"It ah amah'" Oltleixm of Washing
ton Monument.
Cor. St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The most prominent object in the
District of Columbia, from every point
of view, i3 the Washington monument,
which has gone skyward at a great rate
since spring, and stands now as tne
ugliest thing for the money human
hands could design. This exaggerated
chimney of white marble, rearing itself
solitary on the banks oi the l'otomac.
yesterday attained a height of 400 feet,
and when the worn cease3 ior tne
season at the end of this week the last
course of stone will be 410 feet above
the ground. Since congress took the
unfinished shaft in hand and raisad it
by annual appropriations to its present
height the monument has been steadily
becoming an. object of greater . interest
to 6ight-seers, and groups oi tnem vjsi
it every day in the year.
The great column of marble does not
convey any impression to the mind but
that- of surpassing and unnecessary
height. It teaches no lesson, it ex
presses no Bymbol, and stands for noth
ing but so much stone and marble, and
careful workmanship virtually thrown
into tho air. With neither utility or
beauty to recommend it, it fails to
impress one-with any character or ex
pression of its own. The spire of the
Strasburg cathedral, to rival which in
height seemed the sole object of build
ing this monument to the proposed
level, has a certain majesty and impres
siveness to it. The airy spire that bears
the holy cross and the chime of bells
has fome rational excuse for being, and
the great cathedral walls at its base
give a balance and proportion to the
soaring tower. if the Washington
monument were to be a light house, a
shot tower, a bell tower, or even a fac
tory chimney, it would appeal to one
and impress one more than it does now
by emptiness and uselessness.
"For the II rave Dead."
St. Paul Pioneer Press.
An old story and a good one can be
told of Sheahan. He was a fresh lieu
tenant in command of raw recruits at
Fort Ridgely when that post was be
sieged by the Sioux in 18G2. Capt.
Marsh, his superior, was slain with a
score of men while on the way from the
fort to the relief of the Lower agency,
Lieut. Sheahan announced the death of
Capt. Marsh at parade on the day the
news reached the fort. "Now," said he,
when the sad fact was duly stated, "let
us give three groans for the brave
dead !" Victory would have called for
cheers. Death, to Mr. Sheahan's
Hibernian mind, deserved groans. The
whole company under his Bashan-liko
lead, gave three such howls as would
have lifted the hair on the heads of
Capt. Marsh and his brave men, had
any been left there by their slayers.
A Fig-Headed Movereljrn.
Exchange.
"A friend of mine, who was lately in
St. Petersburg," says Mr. Labouchere,
"and who had when there a good oppor
tunity to look behind the scenes, tells
me that the emperor is a pig-headed
fool, incredibly ignorant, and that, un
less he is pushed by his entourage, he
is not likely to trouble the peace of the
world by any grandiose scheme of for
eign conquest. 'Will he, I asked, 'give
his subjects some sort of a constitution ?'
Ho is too great a fool,' my friend re
plied. 'He will continue to do one day
what ho did the previous day. "
A DILEMMA.
Boston Globe.
To write, or not to write, that is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer
The reputation of being asked by
A young lady to wnte in her autograph
album,
And having kept the book two yean, more
or less,
And then not written in it
Or to take the pen against a host of doubts
and fears,
And, by once writing, end them? To start
to write
To write perchance to make a blot Ay
theretherub;
For in that darksome blot what reelings are
Shown forth nervousness, distrust of self
And many others 1 Not as
When one is writing to his girl, for then
If he should make a blot, he draws a lino
Round it, and says -It
was intentional and meant to mark
A place where he did kiss. And she
Believes the yarn, and kisses it, and thinks
That she is happy.
KINQ8 OF THE KITCHEN.
The ArtUtle IIsnlty and Importance
or llMter Cooks Halarlesj and Per
Q.uUlte Enfoyed by Chefs.
pnUadelPhla Pre8 Interview.
"Do cooks, or, perhaps it would be
better to say chief cooks, receive largo
salaries?"
"They receive very excellent salaries.
Larger than many head bank clerks or "
chief salesmen in dry gooda houses.
The stomach appeals as forcibly as the
brain. The Hoffman house, in New
York, pays its chief $3,000 a year.
Delmonico and the Bellevue of this
city annually $3,000. That, however,
is only the money portion. A chief re
ceives his board, lodging and wine in
addition all of the best description.
The Bellevue cook is also provided with
his clothes, mode by a first-class tailor.
The salaries paid by other hotels in the
'country vary from -f3,f00 to 2,000.
No chief of ability would take any less
than the last named sum, and only then
under pressure. As-ustant cooks, often
apprentices of the chief, receive
salaries varying from $12J to $05 per
month, with board."
Of what nationality are cooks?"
"Nearly all of them are French.
There are a few English, one or two
German and American, but the land of
Gaul is the home of culinary artist.
The French cooks are a close brother
hood. They hand down the secrets of
their profession one to the other. They
graduate tinder the tuition oi tne oiuer
members of the fraternity, to whom
they refer with the same reverence that
a young painter pays to nis master.
The cooking of certain dishes, the in
gredients of particular sauces, the flavor
ing of special soups, are only revealed
to junior members of the profession un
der promises of strictest confidence, and
also only when it has been decided that
i, T i : n i.
tne novices uesinng lmwuwuu win w
able to do proper justice to tho making
of the chef d' oeuvre."
"In the kitchen," continued tho hotel
proprietor, "the chef is supreme. In
deed, all over the house the chef is
treated with the respect due to a gen
tleman. He has his distinct table and
servants to wait upon him. He gener
ally invites his chief assistant to dine
with him. Nothing menial, it is under
stood, is attached to his office, and
waiters abstain from familiarity with
him. Cocktails are served to him when
he arises ; claret with his lunch and
any wines he desires at his meals.
Cooks have seldom been known to be
come drunkards, or even gluttons.
They have far too fine a perception of
taste and flavor to abuse either. I
have known a chef to invite a brother
artist to dinner, and the pair have
dwelt over certain dishes wfth tho same
lingering scrutiny and affection that a
sculptor bestows on his finest produc
tion. Soyer, the greatest living cook of
the last centarv, at -times wept bitterly
because the dishes he occasionally
served to crowned heads were not prop
erly appreciated by their royal consum
ers. Roman emperors Tcovered their
cooks with honors, and monarchs of
the middle ages frequently knighted
the kings of their kitchens. Indeed, in
the present day, the art of cooking is
not despised by the finest gentlemen.
Our Fish House club in this city is an
instance. Tho clubs in this country
and in Europe could produce several
rivals even to noted chefs."
"And chefs in private houses?"
"Are not Quite in as good a position
as chefs in clubs and hotels. They of
ten have more to do, and less assistance.
Their salaries are generally of tho
highest average,bnt the men them
selves are seldom artists of the first .ex
cellence. Vanderbilt, Havemeyer and
other millionares of Now York employ
men of cordon bleu rank, but outside
New York there are few private fam
ilies in America who rise to tho dignity
of a man cook. Mr. Drexcl is the only
man in this city who employs one."
"But Philadelphians have cooks ?"
"Yes, women, who receive wages,
say, from $4 to $8 a week ; and very
good cooks many of the women are.
But there is always something lacking.
A picture by a novice may bo very
pleasing; by genius it may, be wonder
ful in conception and execution but a
few touches in each instance from the
brush of the maestro and what a dif
ference l
Imitating Old Books.
Chicago Times.
Collectors of postage stamps havo
long had to guard carefully against tho
danger of paying large prices for skill
ful copies of rare issues, and now, it ap
pears, bibliophiles must confront a
similar deceit, a firm in Dusseldorf
having taken out a patent for its pro
cess ol imitating old dooks. nicy
Erint with old fashioned typo upon
and made paper, which has been satu
rated with an aniline solution, and then
sprinkle the pages with various dyes
that give them an aged and moldy
appearance. Finally, when the sheets
have been bound up into a volume, the
edges of the leaves are steeped in spirit
and fired ; and it is said that after a
reprint has gone through this treatment -it
is all but impossible for any one,
unless he makes use of chemical tests,
to distinguish the forgery - from an
original. In order to obtain a patent
the Dusseldorf firm have probably con
vinced the authorities that their own
immediato intentions are honest, but
some of their successors are sure to be
scoundrels.
ii rant's 1'asa.
Speaking of the origin of somo names
in Oregon, The Oregonian says of
Grant's pass : "When Grant was a lieu
tenant he was camped there with a party
of soldiers, and they got to playing
euchre for $1 on the corner. The game
stood threo to three. Grant picked up
bis cards and had the right bower, ace
and king. He concluded to pass, think
ing he could euchre his opponent, a
burly miner. Tho" result was that he
lost his dollar, and the placo was called
'Grant's pass.'"
"How do you know when a cyclone in
coming?" asked a stranger of a western
man. "Oh, wo get wind of them," wm
the answer.
The Now York elevated roads draw
the line at dogs and people with bijr
baskets.
done under the water."
of locusts.