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THE COLUMBIAN.
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ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: JUNE 29, 1883.
NO. 47.
One lauare fio lines) lint insertion
.13 M
. 1 00
Jtaca subsequent insertion..
COLUMBIAN.
DEAR GRANDMOTHER.
Grandmother pace with stately treal
- Forward and back th'Oiga the quaint ol i room
Out ol ihe firelight, dancing nd td.
Itito the gathering dusk cud gloom:
Forward ai.d hack in herMlkeu rtrt-M,
With its failiLg ruiliis of frost-like Uce:
A look of thejlet-pes; tendern ss
la the faded line ol her fine el l face.
Warm on her breat la bin red night gown.
Like a scarUt Illy, the baby lie .
While softly the tired lids droop down
Over tbe sleepy little eyes.
Grandmother sine to him sweet and hw.
And memories coin1! wit i the crlie--uiig
Of thediy when hi san it Iour a .
Wnen her life wii yunn; ud her hear, was
strong.
Grandmother' children cava laft her ni-.w;
The large o:d coue is a sbaiowed place;
Bat sbming ou: iu the sunet low
Of her lite, like a star, couie tha baby's lace.
Ha lies wber hi olJ fattier lay:
Softly fch-j klQ? Qi'a th 84014 set rtraio.
Till the yeM intervening are swept away.
And the J ysof iif.'s morning are hert again
Grandmother's gray head is bending law
Over the dear little orowsy one !
The steps of h. pith way ire ft-w t go.
The baby's journey hs yi'. begun.
Yet the rosy oawn of his cnildfKh love
Brightens the evening that cite were dim:
And in aitr years, from ber home above.
The light of her blessing will rest on him.
Christian union.
A PLOT DISCOVERED.
I am a saddler by trade, but am of a
sentimental and contemplative tarn of
mind and often saunter by myself into
St. James Park, London, and along the
Bird Caee "Walk. One evenintr lately.
rapt in my meditations, I remained till
it was dark, and the path was nearly
empty. I had taken my station under a
large tree, near which was a bench, on
which two rather well-dressed men were
seated and apparently in earnest conver
sation. - Coming out of my reverie, I be
gan to speculate ou the cause which were
most liksly to have drawn my new neigh
bors to this quiet spot. "Are ihey,"
thought I, "members of Parliament come
here to study what they are to say on
some important question? Are they
lovers, seeking retirement to discant to
each other on the charms of their in
tendeds? Are they husbands, afraid to
face their wives? Are they" but all my
c.onjectures were put to flight by the first
.sentence which reached my ear.
"Well, Tom," eaid one, "your plot is
well laid; but I think you will have
noma difficulty in disposing of Berke
ley." "Oh, not at all," replied Tom. "I pro
pose sending him to one of the "West In
dian Islands, and there are too many
ways there of stopping a man's breath for
me to be at any loss."
"Is his death absolutely necessary?"
asked the other.
"Undoubtedly," answered Tom, "for
you know the duke has sworn that Julia
shall never marry Villiers so long as
Berkeley is alive."
"Heavens and earth," thought I,
"what atrocious villains are here! What
duke are they speaking of? What Berke
ley do they allude to?" I had no time for
further reflection.
"True, true," said the other, "he must
certainly be put out of the way; but I
think your sendiiig him to the West
Indians is a clumsy mode of getting rid
of him? Could you not kill him in a
UUD1S
"Nothing could be more easy, my dear
Bob," replied Tom; "but as I dismissed
Spencer to the other world, with a bullet
for liis passport, I would rather try an
other mode. I think I shall have him
murdered by a slave driver."
' 'I can not consent to that," answered
Bob; "I don't like the expedient."
"Like it or not," said Tom, angrily, "I
am not aware that it is necessary to ask
your consent in the matter."
"Did we not agree to do the thing be
tween us, and to divide the cash?" asked
nis companion. "Yon are inexperienced
in these matters, but I have put a good
many such jobs through my hands al
ready." Imagine the dismay with which I
listened to this horrible dialogue. My
head swam, my blcod ran cold, I crept
close to the tree, even afraid to draw my
breath.
"Well, well," said Tom, "don't let us
fart out about it; Berkeley shall die some
way or other. I am glad you think well
of my plot. Oar employers will surely
be satisfied seeing there are three dukes,
seven marquises and nineteen earls en
gaged in it. The deuce is in it if that
won't content him!"
"Thunder and lightning!" said I to
myself, "it is plain that some awful con
spiracy is hatching. Is the town to be
burnt? Is the housa of commons to be
blown up?"
"When Berkeley is done for," con
tinued Bob, "Villitrs will marry Julia.
They will be presented, at court, and
then comes the grand catastrophe. We
then assassinate William."
"My brain whirled; I could scarcely
credit my senses; and it was only after
pinohing my arm that I could believe I
was awake. "Is it possible," thought I,
"that these ruffians could coolly plot the
death of our gracious sovereign under
the very nose of the palace? Desper
adoes that they are! But the king shall
liv3, and Berkeley shall not be mur
dered by a slave-driver, if I can help it!"
They had by this time left the bench
and are walking toward town. Fired
with indignation 1 hastened after them,
guided by the sound of their footsteps.
As there was no creature near to assist
me in securing them, I resolved not to
attempt it till help was at hand. Step
by8tep I followed them till they reached
Charing cross, when suddenly springing
forward I seized Bob by the collar, and
called out "Help! help! they are mur
derers!" Acrowd immediately gathered around,
and Tom instead of rushing away stood
stock still. "I charge you all, in the
king's name," said I, "to secure these
two ruffians!" Bob, who had remained
motionless, now knocked me down. The
police interfered, however, and set me
on my legs. I was still bold as I could
be. "I charge these two men," said I,
"Tom and Bob, other names nnknown,
with conspiring the death of sundry in
dividuals, and I command you," I con
tinued, turning to the policeman, "to
carry them before a magistrate, where I
hall substantiate the charge."
At this Bob and Tom affected the most
perfect amazement, and treated the accu
sation with the greatest scorn. The mob,
however, took part with me, the nproar
increased, and the policeman carried us
all before Sir Richard Birnie.
The appearance of Bob and Tom at
Bow street seemed to occasion some sur
prise, and Sir Richard, who appeared to
know them, looked confounded on hear
ing the report of the policeman.
"Gentlemen, said he, "this is a most
extraordinary affair. I scarcely expected
to see you before me on such an occa
sion .
"You could not expect it less ihan we
did," answered Bob. "It is not to be
borne that gentlemen are to be pelted bv
a mob, and dragged here like felons, on
the bare assertion of a scurvy, half drunk
tailor."
'I am not a tailor, Master Bob," I re
plied; "I am au honest maker of sad
dle;."
"I wish you had learned to put them
cn the right horse," answered Bob, as
bold as brass, "Sir Jlichard, I presume
we may retire?"
"If you let them go, it will be at your.
own peril," said I.
"Gentlemen, said Sir Richard, "have
a moment's patience and we will Boon
settle this business, lou fellow, state
your charge."
"By your leave, oir liichard, 1 will
first say a few words which will make
their conscience fly in their . faces.
Hark ye, Master Bob and Master Tom,
other names unknown, look at me."
"Well!" answered .Bob, "we do look
at you and see nothing but a half
starved wretch in a 'suit of clothes not
worth eighteen pence."
"If I took in hand certain jobs, and
shared the cash like some people," re
plied I, staring him full in the face, "I
might have a better coat on my back.
You take me, Master Bob"
"I take yon foran insolent scoundrel!"
said Bob, in a rage.
"Jo more of this, said Sir Richard;
"but state distinctly your charge."
"I charge them with conspiring the
death of a gentleman of the name Berke
ley, and of his gracious majesty,William
the Fourth."
At this Bob and Tom stared at each
other, and Sir Richard looked con
founded, i
"Yes," I continued, turning to the
culprits, "I overheard your; murderous
schemes, and you monster of iniquity !
you swore to assassinate the king! And
what harm has Berkeley done that he
should be murdered by a slave-driver?
You boasted that your plot was well
laid; but confers, ruffians, who are the
three dukes, the seven marquises and
the nineteen earls who are engaged in
it?"
At this the hardened wretches burst
into such a shout of laughter as made
the roof ring. Peal after peal, though I
plainly saw that this was done to gain
time to concoct some story to palm upon
Sir Richard. At length Master Bob
owned that he and his companion had
certainlv been in St. James' Park that
night, and that they had sat for some
time under a tree; but that the conver
sation I had overheard related entirely
to the personages in a novel which he
and his companion were writing jointly,
and that this was the plot they alluded
to. Master Tom, taking this hint, chimed
in with the story; and they ; so bamboo
zled Sir Richard that the good simple
man dismissed the charge, adding a few
remarks so little complimentary to me
that I must stand excused for not setting
them down.
"Sir Richard," said I, solemnly; "you
are imposed upon; these rogues are too
much for you; but since you are pleased
to let loose Master Bob and Master Tom,
other names unknown, I wash my
hands."
"When your hand is in, you had bet
ter wash your face," remarked Master
Bob, and this was the last I saw of Mas -
terBoband Master Tom, other names
unknown. :
Old Circuses and New.
The circus season is approaching, and
pretty soon the bill posters will be
around, and then will come the show,
and we will live over the old days again,"
said the good natured old man, as he
took a fork and transferred some saur-
krant to his mouth from a plate on the
lunch counter of the salooa,anJ punched
a cross old fellow in the ribs, who is
known as the "kicker, and who grum
bles at everything.
"O, don't talk about it," said the
kicker, as he speared some headcheese
that was trying to hide under a slice of
onion in a plate of vinegar. "Circuses
of to-day are no more like what they were
iu 4'J and M than they are like a school
boy," and the kicker asked for another
schooner of beer.
"O, I don't know," said the good na
tured man, as he clicked glasses with the
kicker. "It all seems the same to me,
and I am just as anxious to go to the
circus as ever."
"Yes, but you don't go till the doors
are open, lou don t think ol it, and
dream and dream of it from the time the
bills are put up till a week after the
show is gone, the way you used to. I
remember, Bill, when you and I used to
set up all night, the night before the cir
cus came, and watch for a few wagons
that came on ahead,, as though we never
saw a bay horse with a white spot on the
side. We felt as proud as kings to be al
lowed to hold the tired team while the
circus man went around the buggy to
take out the valise, in front of the coun
try tavern, and to be allowed to drive
the team to the barn, at midnight, and
ielp unharness the horses by the light
of the hostler's tin lantern, was more
bliss than wo get now days, though we
are worth fortunes. Egad, I would give
more for the feeling of happiness I have
had in driving a circus man's horse to
the barn the night before a circus, with
the landlord's daqghter looking out of
her window to see me, than I would give
now for a pointer on wheat. And then,
Bill, to get out two hours before day
light in the morning and . walk out five
miles on the road the day the cirous was
coming in on, to meet it, was better than
a trip to Europe would be now. Bare
footed, trudged along in the dewy grass,
with eyes straineO for the first sight of
the elephant! Trousers rolled up to the
knees, so they would be clean when we
rolled them down when we got back to
town. O, Bill, those are days that will
never came back. Let's take another
drink." i
Bill wiped a drop of something out of
his eye with the salmon napkin and said
thev could a 't ex oec t the days to come
back, because they had gone for keeps,
and the old kicker went on:
"Bill, didn't an elephant loom up of a
foggy morning when we met tue circus
out on the road? We could smell the
circus half a mile before we got to where
it was resting on the road,' and then we
could hear the circus men swear, and
pretty soon we would be within thirty
feet of the elephant, and how surprised
he would look, and how still we would
keep for fear of waking up the perform
ers who were asleep in the wagons, and
with what awe we would look into a car
riage window and see the sleepy face and
frowsy head of one of the female per
formers, who looked so mad in a car
riage and so smiling when 'she got on a
horse in the ring. And when daylight
came aud the procession started fox
town, how proud we marched along in
front of the elephant, and how we ad
mired the bravery of the man who
punched the elephant with: a sharpstick.
And how we prayed to grow up to be a
driver of a cage, and hold the ribbons
over four horses. Somehow, Bill, when
we escorted the circus into town, we al
ways felt that a great responsibility
rested on us, didn't we? By gracious, a
circus traveling with wagons is the only
way to inspire the people. This going
around on the cars takes all the romance
out of it. Bill, how many circus horses
do you suppose we have rode to water
when we were boys, after the circus had
got to the ground where -it was to show?
How we would look now, wouldn't we,
church members that we are, to go bare
footed and straddle a sweany roan circus
horse, and -ride him down to the creek
to water, and lead three more. 1
'spose we would be "churched" if we did
it now. But wasn't it happiness?" And
then the putting up of the canvass had to
be superintended by us boys, and now
many pails of water have we carried to
make lemonade, of which we didn't get a
taste? Those fakirs who concocted lemo
nade along in '50 wouldn't know us now
if we should happen to visit the states
prison where they ere, would they? If
there was happiness in those other ex
periences. Bill, how shall w describe
feelings if we could embezzle ourselves
iDto the dressing room, where the per
formers were getting ready for the grand
entree. If we should try as hard to go
to heaven. Bill, as we have tried to get
into the dressing rooms of circuses or to
crawl under the canvass of the show,
there would be joy in heaven. Bill, and
don't you forget it. The old fashioned
circus took the cake for making boys
happy, and I don't suppose we could
spend ten thousand dollars and have as
much pleasure as we have had for two
shillings on circus days long ago. Why, j
we would be so excited we would forget
to go home to meals, and our mothers
would think we were lost. We have gone
twenty-four hours without eating a mor
sel, except a yard of ginger bread. Bill
did you ever have any spring chicken, or
anything lately taste as good as a chunk
of ginger bread and a dipper of that red
lemonade? Well, if I could be set back
thirty years, barefooted, on the road out
of town to meet acircus, before daylight,
with two shillings in my pocket, and a
light heart and an empty stomach, and
feel as I used to, you could take all my
moner and do what you darned please
with i"t. Bill."
"Bat I wouldn't take it, Ike. I would
give all of mine to be back there with
you and not have a care on my mind.
But, let's see. There is avestry meeting
this afternoon, and we have got to be on
hand, and see about raising the minister's
salary. Let's drop the circus for the
time being, Ike, and be the staid, pious
old delegates that we are expected to bo.
But, say, when the show comes we will
take it in, eh?"
"You bet your boots," says Ike, and
they go out into the streets looking
pretty young and spry for their age.
Peck's Sun.
Superstition Regarding Whistling.
Captain Burton tells us how the Arabs
dislike to hear a person whistle, called
by them el sifr. Some maintain that the
whistler's mouth is not to be purified for
forty days, while according to the ex
planations of others, Satan touching a
man's body causes him to produce au
offensive sound. The natives of the
Tonga Islands, Polynesia, hold it to be
wrong to whistle, as this act is thought
to be disrespectful to God. Iu Iceland
the villagers have the same objection to
whistling, aud so far do they carry their
superstitious dread of it that "if one
swings about him a stick, whip, wand,
or aught that makes a whistling sound,
he scares from him the Holy Ghost;"
while other Icelanders who consider
themselves free from superstitions caut
ously give the advice: "Do it not; for who
knoweth what is in the air?" However
eccentric these phases of superstition
may appear to us, yet it mastnot bs for
gotten that very similar notions prevail
at the present day in this country. A
correspondent of "Notes and Queries,"
for instance, relates how one day, after
attempting in vain to get his dog to obey
orders to come into the house, his wife
tried to coax it by whistling, when she
was suddenly intermitted by a servans.a
Roman Catholic' who exclaimed in most
piteous accents: "It you please, ma'am,
don't whistle every time a woman
whistle the heart of the Blessed Virgin
bleeds!" In some districts of North
Germany the villagers say that if one
whistles in the evening it makes the
angels weep. Popular Science.
Herr Wilborg, of Moscow, was invited
to render a solo on tbe piano before a
highly cultured audience in Berlin re
cently. He has a phenomenal memory,
and plays altogether without notes. Just
when he was in the very act of carrying
the audience away, he forgot two meas
ures, but caught on with the aid of the
orchestra that was assisting. He was so
chagrined thst he refused a laurel wreath
that was offered him, and when it was
thrust in his hand he laid it on the con
ductor's stand and started out. The
audience called him back and he played
another selection, and again refused tbe
wreath. Finally he got mad and threat
ened the usher with bodily harm if he
did not desist in his efforts to make him
aooept it.
Men Who Fignred in the IteTolntionary
Personally, there was not much to ad'
mire in Mr. Washington, for, like .Mr.
Lincoln, he was tall and thin and not so
very pretty. He was a bold and grace
ful horseback rider, ana is said to have
taken the lead in all athletic sports of his
time. He proved his pedestrian skill by
conveying Gov. Dinwiddie's message to
Canada in midwinter, a distance of over
500 miles. There are probably few ath
letes, after four years training at Yale
or Harvard, who would be willing to no
dertake so long a journey, even with the
protection of advanced civilization. The
mother of Washington was a woman of
strong character, and iio-i her he inher
ited his iron will and was by her trained
in habits of honesty, industry and fru
gality.
In controlling his subordinates he dis
played rare ability, for he ruled them
without their being conscious of ' the
fact. It was his duty to protect thd
iroatier, ana to ao mis he was given a
militia force of drafted, unpaid and un
fed men, who deserted him at the first
approach of danger. He had also the
frauds of contractors-and the contradic
tory and preposterous orders of Gov.
Dinwiddie to contend with. The mas
terly ellbrts which he made and the
grand successes which she achieved were
not appreciated at the time, and he had
long been in his grave when his true
worth was known. Only by one man.
and that was the conceited Dinwiddie.
was his courage and discretion appreciat
ed, for he received but a good-natured
rebuke from George II and a sneer from
Horace Walpole. Soon after the close
of the French and Indian war, Wash
ington married a rich young widow. His
education is said to have been limited.
He went once to the West Indies with a
sick brother, and this was the only time
he ever left the American continent.
Whether the brass that adorned his per
son in form of buttons, which has been
known to insure success with the fair
ones where a bag of gold failed, or
whether it was his manly presence which
made him a favorite, cannot be told, but
it must be attributod. to one of them, for
what little beauty he - might have pos
sessed as a boy was afterwards marred
by smallpox. Washington was a most
successful farmer and planter, and
Mount Vernon, which came to him by
the death of a niece (the homestead
having been left to aa elder brother at
his father's death), was a marvel of thrift
and amine of wealth.' He gradually, as
the worth of the land became known to
him, added to the estate, which at his
death contained 8000 acres, the greater
part of which was under a high state of
cultivation. Tobaoco and wheat were
the principal products. Whenever he
was away from home, he requested a
weekly report of the exact nambar of
day's work performed by each laborer,
and exacting the condition of the stock,
and giving a minute account of every
farm detail.
While Washington was president re
ceptions were held in the capital as fre
quently as they have been since. The
president then held a reception for men
on Tuesday and Mrs. Washington held a
reception each Friday afternoon for
both sexes, and on Thursday they had a
dinner for invited guests. They were
both strictly temperate, but they did not,
like Mrs. Hayes, inflict their temperance
principles on ail who visited the cspi
tol. Washington's services during the
revolution were appreciate! by some and
splendid gifts were tendered to him. He
accepted
FIFTY SHARES IN THE POTOMAC CANAL,
Valued at 10,000, which was appro
priated by him to the endowment of a
university at the seat of the Federal gov
ernment. He also aocepted 100 shares
in the James river canal, valued at $50,
000. This was used by him to enddw a
college at Lexington, Rockbridge coun
ty, Virginia, which afterwards took the
nance of Washington college. We all
believe and know that he accomplished
great and worthy deeds during his life,
but one can be forgiven for doubting
some of the marvelous tales related of
him. His memory is ever dear to us,
and we wish to do it honor. There are
others who have au interesting history
which is closely connected with that of
Washington and the revolution. The
captors of John Andre Isaac Van Wart,
John Paulding and David Williams
would, if they were living now, with as
little fame and fortune as they possessed
before that event, be considered
tramps. If they had been loyal citizens
they would not on that Summer day
have been playing cards in a lonely and
densely shaded part of the woods watch
ing their chance to plunder the cowboys
who might pass that way. An aid-decamp
of General Washington, who was
present at all the proceedings attendant
on the discovery pt Arnold's treason
called them "free booters," who lived
by the plunder they picked up between
the lines, and said they only surrender
ed their prisoners to the Americans be
cause they thought that their reward
would be greater than if they accepted
Andre's offers to release him. David
Williams was a native ot ocholiarie, a
little Dutch town in the interior of the
State, thirty-five miles west of Albany
and surrounded by a continuation of the
Catskills. He belonged to that class
known throughout the valley as Slough
fcers.
This is a class of poor people who live
huddled together in miserable huts,
sometimes twelve or fourteen in one
shanty with only two rooms. They re
semble the lily of the field in one re
spect. for they toil not, neither do they
spin. The only question which interests
them during the year is to Know now
much will be allowed them for their sup
port by the county. Although Williams
was born in Schoharie county, the most
of his life was spent at Rensselaerville, a
small town just within the limits of
Albany county, where in the village
churohyard he was buried and rested for
nearly a century. In 1876 the minds of
the inhabitants of Schoharie took a patri
otic turn and they (particularly the de
scendants of Williams) thought that a
more fitting monument to his memory
than the plain slab which then marked
bis grave would be in order. So, after
discussing the matter in all its bearings
at several meetings held thonghout the
eounty for that purpose, it was decided
to appoint a committee to wait ! upon the
senate then in session in Albany and ask
for an appropriation to erect the monu
ment. The senate must have had its
patriotism aroused by the stirring
speeches ox the old Dutchmen, for the
$2000 asked for was granted and the
order for the new monument given. The
next thing in order was to bring what
lew bones still remained of Wilhans to
Schoharie. At this point in the proceed
ings a dispute arose which promised to
be of an interesting character. Rens
selaerville wanted the fine- monument
when it was found that it could be had
with very little expense to the town.
Deciding not to let the Schoharie gentle
men have tbe bones, they dug np the re
mains and stole away with them at night,
a la Stewart. When the Schoharie peo-
pie reached itensseiaervuid they found
the grave empty. They said they found
them, however, and came back to Scho
harie with a box containing , three hip
bones. Probably they thought that
three of a kind is better than a pair. The
new monument stands in the cemetery
surrounding the old stone fort; - Here
the sun as it first looks over the hills.
coming through the freshest and most
health inspiring atmosphere to be
found in America, first rests. Von Wart
aud Williams were first cousins, so their
social standing was equal. It is said that
they never considered themselves any
thing but marauders. Paulding was re
leased from prison four days before the
capture of Andre, but he testified under
oath that he had no intention of plunder
ing Andre.
'lhis must be true, for no in in would
swear falsely when his own honor is at
stake. Paulding and Von Wart are
buried at Tarrytown on the Hudson, and
suitable monuments are erected to com
memorate their lives and deeds. John
Andre was a scholar, a gentleman, an
artist and a warrior. It is said that he
possessed an almost perfect knowledge
of all the modern European languages.
and that he was, when quite young, an
artist of considerable note. Some of the
finest pictures of Andre now in existence
were painted by himself while sitting or
standing before a mirror. His mind was
stored with a knowledge of the finest
literature of tbe day, and possessing as
he did great personal beauty and the
most pleasing manners and excelling in
music, drawing and dancing, as well as
being one of the finest horsemen in the
English army, it is not strange; that his
society was so highly prized by all.
He was ambitious, but not in a mean
way. He considered the wishes of
others, and particularly befriended
the widows and orphans ; of his
acquaintance. The painters, the fiddlers
and the poets were all encouraged and
aided by him so far as it was in his power
to do it. When his time came to die he
could truthfully say that it was misfor
tune and not guilt that had brought his
life to so early a close. England can
well reverence his name, for his motive
was to unite a divided kingdom and
crown himself with the honor due him.
But it is not strange that the Imposing
monument erected by Cyrus W. Field
should not be able to stand long in this
country, where the feeling against him
is generally so strong. Brooklyn Jbagle.
The Otner Sort of Swindler.
There were six or eight of us in the
smoking car on the train that was run
ning down to West I'omt from Atlanta,
and everything was lovely until the sev
enth man got on at a way station. He
had no sooner entered the car than he
looked fixedly at the man who had been
telling us snake stories, and directly
he walked up to him and called out:
"Ha! yon infernal swindler.I've found
you at last!"
"Who's a swindler?"
"You are."
"I never saw you before." j
"You are a liar, and I'm going to
'pound $18 worth of cash out of yon!"
It was presently discovered that, he
recognized the snake story man as a
fruit tree agent who had sold him some
sour grape vines which did not show up,
and he was spitting on his hands to make
ready to do the pounding, when the
other remarked: j
"My dear fellow, I insist upon it that
you are mistaken. I never was in the
fruit tree business, and I never swindled
you out of $18."
"I say you did."
"Never! Instead of swindling you
out of 13 on grape vine3, 1 am the man
who charged you $16 too much for a
sewing machine, and here is vour money
back."
"Well, now, now ccme to look more
closely at you. I believe you're right,"
said the seventh man. !
"Of course I'm right," growled the
other, as he counted out the money, "and
I warn you to be a little more careful in
the future. I have a reputation to sus
tain, and grape vine swindles are not in
my line. Here's you're $16 and now I
think you ought to apologize!" Detroit
Free Press. i
The Old Melodrama.
How well I can recall the j effect pro
duced on my boyish imagination by the
performance of an old melodrama how
breathlessly I watched the assassins with
their long daggers and ehort swords and
gigantie pistols, creeping about the
stage to pizzicato music, in search of the
Kood young man of the story, who was
concealed behind a tree or i a piece of
ruin, but who would so recklessly ex
pose himself to indulge in brief commen
taries upon their movements; what
terrible suspense I endured when the
pale wierd woman with the j black hair,
who passed all her life in moaning and
cursing over some mysterious wrong,
was attemping, to the tremulous wait
ings of the violin, the escape of the
lovely captive from the robber's den;
and I could scarcely suppress a cry
when the robber himself, all boots, but
tons and pistols, suddenly barred their
way! Then, the great combat at the
end, to the shrieking of the! fiddles, the
blare of cornets and the beating of
drums, wherein the good ! young man
fought two, and sometimes three ruffians
and although nearly overpowered once,
ultimately succeeded in laying their
black wigs low; then, there was the rush
on of the lovely captive, red fire, and the
hvnothaaifl of virtue tramolincr uoon
ice. Very frequently there was a ghost
who appeared at opportune moments in
lambent flames of blue fire, much to the
terror of all villains, and the gratifica
tion of all the good people. The old
melodrama was strictly conventional.
The robbers al ways wore dirty boots of
untanned leather, jackets with many
short tails and adorned with many but
tons, long blaok hair and beards of
burnt cork. It would be a curious eth
nological inquisition to inquire into the
origin of the old dramatic idea that
wickedness is confined to black haired
people; sinco Lady Andley, however,
there has been a run on the red. There
was no oausuisty about the old melo
drama; no paltering with sin; vice and
virtue were divided with passable lines:
trimming was impossible: you must be
one thing or the other; poetical justice
was always rigidly enforced;- the tri
umph of wickedness was unknown in
that world and how anybody could
be wicked when they knew what a terri
ble doom would overtake them; or how
any body could think of being otherwise
than immaculately virtuous when they
were so well rewarded for it. was one of
thos) problems that could be referred
only to the perversity of human nature.
Belgr.wia.
The Perils of Boy Babies.
It is a perplexing fact that while more
boys are bora than girls, there is a sur
plus of female population. Of the children
born in this city during last year. 14.0C8
were males and 13,253 females, and yet it
is impossible for 831,857 members of the
gentler sex in this country to find hus
bands without inveigling an equal num
ber of males to commit bigamy. It has
commonly been supposed that war and
tho hardships and hazards peculiar to
their manner of life are the cause of the
excess of mortality among males, bnt a
writer in an English medical journal
presents statistics to show that four per
cent, more boys than girls die before
reaching the age of five years, and inti
mates that an explanation is to be found
in the difference in nursing the two sexes
receive, lie does not say whether boy
babies are hugged too much or pinched
to death by their fair attendants, but a
reform in the method of their treatment
appears to be imperative. The writer to
whom reference is here made is ungal
lant enough to suggest that the exoess of
mortality among male infants may be
.due in part to a higher organism than
that of girls, but of coarse the explana
tion is unworthy of consideration. Our
fair friends will perceive .the gravity of
this subjsct, for the preservation of boy
babies is essential to the supply of the
demand for husbands. There are nearly
a million less males than females in the
United States already, and the stagna
tion of the matrimonial market begiDS to
excite alarm. New York Mail.
EDUCATIONAL NOTES.
Nebraska has 7000 more girls of sohool
age than boys.
A Presbyterian university is to be es
tablished at Pierre in Southern Dakota.
John Hopkins' university conducts !
five journals devoted to original scientific
investigations.
Cornell university is to have a pro
fessor of physical cnlture. A new name
for a. teacher of gymnastics.
American colleges, it is said, derive
four-tenth and English colleges one-
tenth of their incomes from their
students.
In probably no other place in the
world but Strobeck, Germany, does
chess form a regular course of study in
the schools.
The June commencement of Dickinson
college, N. Y., was the one hundredth
anniversity of that' institution of learn
ing. William H. MoKenney, a Choctaw In
dian, is soon to graduate from Roanoke
college, Virginia, the first Indian to re
ceive such an honor in Virginia.
The aggregate of gifts to the university
of Virginia, since 1867, in connection
with the - Leander-McCormick observa
tory, amounts to $143,000.
Charles F. King, master of the Lewis
school, Boston, recently said that in
.Boston geography is more poorly taught
than any other branch of study, and that
spelling comes next to it.
The Art of Singing.
It must have struck every intelligent
frequenter of the concert rooms to what
hopeless straits an enthusiastic admirer
of any particular singer is put when
asked to give his reasons for appreciat
ing the merits of his favorite. The an
swer, if one is given, is often couched
in vague generalities, and in some cases
may be said to amount to little or noth
ing at all. The artist has a clear voice,
one is told, a clear enunciation, has per
formed certain "tours de force" with
success, and even, for such reasons hare
been given ere this, his general appear
ance and deportment aro pleasing. Why
should this incapacity to give a reason
for liking a thing exist? The explana
tion is clear enough to those who have
given their attention to the phenomenon
and lies in the fact that an audience
taken collectively knows little or noth
ing of the art of singing, and even were
the very executant who is tbe object of
applause interrogated as to the cause of
his or her success, in but few cases
would a satisfactory explanation be
forthcoming, for although he or she
may have received such education does
not take into account the fact that ex
planation may sometimes be required.
A Showkr of Brimstone. The
wiseacres are not a little puzzled over a
most mysterious fall of "sulphur," which
covered the house and yard of Mr.
Abram Wilson, a reputable farmer, re
siding four miles east of Wei If burg. The
substance was discovored on the morn
ing of Saturday last. A match applied
to it caused a blue flame, from which
came the odor emitted by burning sul
phur. The same substance was also dis
covered at other points. No satisfactory
explanation hns yet been given. Wheel
ing Intelligencer.
A New York tiarber, who had lost his
wifo by death, says he felt her oold hand
on his face the other night while lying
in his bed. He could not cry oat because
his tongue was paralysed with terror.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
Ninety-thousand acres of land is de
voted to the cultivation of the oyster in
Connecticut, and thirty steamers an J a
fleet of sailing vessels are engaged in the
trad s.
It is only a few years ago, compara
tively speaking, that photographers be
gan to use what they call albu-ien
paper. Now in the United States three
factories consume about three million
eggs a year in making papr of that
kind.
A paper has been read before the
Academy of Sciences. Paris, by IX. Ksy
reneuff, on the transmission of sound bv
various gasaea.' Using a sensitive flame
arrangement, he proved. that carbonia
oxide has about the same transmitting
power as our ordinary atmosphere, but
that carbonic acid gas a much greater
power.
A new invisible ink has been intro
duced by Dr. Widemann. It is made by
intimately mixing linseed oil 1 part, wa
ter of ammonia 20 parts, and water 100
parts. The mixture must be agitated
each time the pen is dipped Into it, as a
little of the -oil may separate and float on
the surface, from which, if taken up by
the pen a stain would be left on tbe
paper. To make the writing appear, all
that is needed is to dip the manuscript
in water; when the paper dries, the
writing will vanish. - - -
There is to be held in Paris this yoar
from the 1st to the 22d of July, an in
sect exhibition, organized by the Central
Society of Agrioultnre and Insectology.
Itfinclude (1) useful insects, (2) the pro
ducts in the raw slate and in the first
transformation; (3) apparatus and in
struments used in preparation of those
products; (4) injarious insects and the
various procestes for either counteract
ing their ravages or destroying them,
and (5) everything that may be of inter
est to the student of insectology.
Prolonged anaesthesia seems to have
been produced by M. Bert very simply,
indeed. A mask and two caoutchouo -bags
are all the apparatus necessary. .
The new method he has tried on animals ;
is to cause ansosthesia, first with the
Eure protoxide of nitrogen (when the
lood recovers the oxygen necessary to
it) and, finally, the administration of the
pure protoxide again. In this way he
says he kept a dog insensible for half an
hour, and both aspyxia and a return to
consciousness appear to be obviated
while the patient is undergoing the op- .
eration.
ALL SORTS.
Jay Gould is a "total abstainer, and
the story is told that while at Hot
Springs he was given a glass of "rock
and rye" which did him good, and
Gould said that the man who owned the
spring that produced that water had a
fortune in it.
Quite too much: On a very rainy even
ing a carriage makes its wayalong the
boulevard, the steed smoking from the
pouring showers. "Poor horse! Poor
horse!" asys a member of the S. P. C. A. ;
"out in such weather, and hitched to an
open carriage, ioo I"
The completion of the iron bridge of
the Atlantic and Pacific railroad over the
Canon Diablo, in Arizona, adds anoLhar
to the list of high bridges. It spats a -dark,
gloomy gorge. The bridge is 240
feet above the water, and 641 feet long.
It weighs 837,130 pounds, and it cost
$200,000.
No vehicle desired: "And so, nays
the narrator, closing his story, "t'aey
took him up to the cemetery in a gold
mounted hearse with four black horses
and all the bands in garrison playing
the 'Dead March." "Very grand, I
dessay," remarks his listener, "but I da
not care for style. Going to the ceme
tery on foot is good enough for me."
"An Eden of Love" is the name of a
communistic society thst is being organ
ized in St. Louis. Members are received
on the payment of $100 for each person,
and their ohildren are admitted free.
The object is to unite the members in
their labor, and in carrying on their bus
iness affairs, to hold their property in
oommon for the use of all, and to dwell
together in a common home, j
In the West ladies they have an infal
lible test for negro blood. The ntgro
has no division in the gristle or cartila
ginous substance of his nose, suoh ss all
of pure white blood can feel at its tip
with the end of the finger. This is ihe
last thing to yield to the white accession.
Any negro blood is marked with a nose
the gristle of which is undivided.
Leonardo de Vinci was not far from
the telephone, when, not more than a
century ago, he wrote: "When one is
upon the lake if he puts the opening of
a trumpet into the water and. holds the
point of the tube to his ear he can per
ceive whether ships are moving at a re
mote distance. The same thing occurs
if he has, thrust the tube into the ground,
for then also he will h6ar what is going
on far away."
Grand Fourth of July
Reunion of Old
Celebration
Soldiers.
and
The committee appointed by the
Grand Army of the Republic to arrange
for a reunion of the old soldiers have
completed arrangements for a graxid re
union and celebration to be held in
Portland, Oregon, July 3d. 4th and Cth.
General Morrow, commanding troops at
Vancouver Barracks, has aocepted a n in
vitation to be present with nis troops
and go into camp with the Grand Army
boys. Morning guns, guard rrount,
dress paiade and sham battles will be
indnlged in by the soldiers and old vet
erans. There will be a brilliant display of fire
works in the evenings of each day,
specially prepared for tbe ooc&sion.
General Nelson A. Miles, comm t iding
department of the Columbia, wild de
liver the oration on the Fourth , and
other prominent men from different
parts of the North Pacific coast will have
a part in the exercises. Special rates
will be made by all the transportation
lines.
A. E. Barthwiok, corresponding secre
tary, may be addressed or found i.t tha
headquarters of the committee. No. 127;
First street, and who will give til de
sired information relative to the rmnion
or celebration.