The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886, March 30, 1883, Image 1

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    YOL. III.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: MARCH 30, 1883.
NO. 34.
55
DREAMING IX THE TliEN'CHES. "
J picture lir there in the quaint olJ room,
V here the fading starlight starts ami falls;
Alon in the twilight's tender gloom.
With the shadows that dauee on the dim-lit
wall.-?.
Alone; while those faces l'Xtk siftntly down
From their antique frames in a grim reK)3e
Slight scholarly Ralph in his Oxford gown,
And staunch Sir Allan, who died for Mont
rose, There are gallants gay in crimsou and gold;
There are smiling beauties with jHwdered
hair;
But she sits there, fairer a thousand fold,
Leaning
dreaminglv back in her low arm
chair.
And the roseate shadows of fading light,
Softly clear, steal o'er the fair tung face
"Where a woman's tenderness blends to-night
With the guileless; pride of her knightly race.
Her small hands lie clasped hi a listless way
On the old romance, which she holds ou her
kuec, lJ
Of "Tristam," the bravest ol knights in the frav,
And "Iseult," who waits by the sounding sea.
And the proud, dark eyes wear a softened look,
As shs watches the dying jembers fall;
Perhaps she dreams of the knights in the book,
l'erhaps of the pictures that smile on the wall.
What fancies I wonder are thronging lier
brain,
For her checks flush warm with a crimson
glow,
Perhas ah! me, how foolish and vaiti!
But I'd give my life to believe it so.
Well, whether I ever reach home again.
To ot!"'r my love and a stainless name,
Or whether 1 die at t he head of my . men,
I'll be true tpy the end all the same!
IX LOVE WITH AX IDIOT.
I do not mean by the singular hearting
of my article that falling in leve with an
idiot is at all an UDuanal occurrence;
and I do not mean to hint some degree
of idiocy is not always an attendant upon
one of those parties in the "affaires du
cour;" nor will 1 contradict the cynic who
siid that all people in love are idiots. I
only mean to state a few dry facts, some
of which are well known to people here
away. In the autumn of the year 1815, the
staid inhabitants of the county town of
Fayette county, Penu., were set to gos
siping by the arrival of a young lawyer
named S -, who announced the inten
tion of settling in that town. A fine per
son, genial manners, great industry, and
more than ordinary talents, set off and
gncl by singular modesty, made S
highly acceptable to the villagers. Hav
ing influential relatives in Washington
and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, his com
pany was much sought after; but, like a
safe yonth, he buried himself in the du
ties of his office, apparently careless
about the attractions of society of men or
-women.
In one of his visits to Washington, he,
one fine morning in April, left the pol
ished circles who formed little eddies
about the elegant wife of President Mad
son, and turned the head of the horse
upon which he rode toward the Potomac.
Passingthe battle ground of Bladenburg,
he came, after a ride of an hour, to the
end of the little bridge made so famous
by the attack and success of the English
Admiral Cockbnrn. The day was sultry,
and, stopping before the door of rather a
tasteful cottage, he flung the bridle over
the fence, aud walked down the little
path to a well which stood in the yard.
Looking over tha house, nothing human
could le seen except a pair of deep blue
eyes, which peered 'from an upper story
window curiously down upon him, seem
ing to watch his motions with great in
terest. Looking at her more intently,
he beheld the fair, round face of a very
pretty girl of about seventeen summers.
She had light hair, regular features, and,
although more thanjusually prepossessing
the lawyer might have gone away, as he
came, heart free, if it had not been for
something in the blonde's deep blue
eyes which made his heart bleed.
"Young lady," said he, "will you as
sist me in getting something from which
to drink? This well is deep, and if I
should drown myself in "attempting to
descend for it, it will not add to the at
tractions of the water."
The head disappeared from the win
dow, and in a minute the plump figure
of the girl appeared at a side door with
a cup, and placing it in the hand of the
barrister he put his lips to the edge of
the vessel, and peering over its rim at
the beautiful girl he diank a long
draught. If he had been impressed with
her beauty before, now, when her figure
was displayed in all its captivating
graces, his heart beat more'loudly than
ever. Every bullet has its billet. Young
S had passed unhurt through whole
batteiies of bright eyes at Washington,
to be wounded beyond help by an acci
dental 6hot from the eyes of a country
ass at a well !
The girl walked rapidly into the house,
leaving Mr. S at the well, who
mounted his horse and attempted flight.
He rode a few steps and returned. The
same face at the window; the same blue
eyes, seeming to watch him with curious
interest.
"Young lady, will sou have the kind
ness to inform me of the name of the
gentleman who lives in this house?"
A long, curious look from the..girl,and
no answer. '
"l am a respectable gentleman. My
name is S
and I ask the name inno
cently and honestly."
Again no answer, and again the lawyer
turned his horse's head away from the
cottage, muttering:
"Confound it ! I feel very unhappy !"
That night was a long one, and the
next day he mounted the beast, and with
vouchers of his respectability, presented
himself again at tho fence, determined
to throw himself at the feet of the girl
and know his fate. Throwing himself
the letters in his hand, the host asked our
visitor into a sitting-room, furnished
more elegantly than the outward appear
ance of the house would seem to indicate,
and asked his business.
"May I ask, sir, if that young lady
whom I saw yesterday, sitting at the
window, is 3'our daughter ?" ,
"It is my only daughter, sirli left to
me by my sainted wife, who has ascended
and waits inv coming
"I infer from yonr garb and address,
sir, that you are a clergyman ?
"In the cities." said the old man
gravely, "I would be called by tha
name. Indeed at one time I held the
occupancy of Holy Trinity church, Phil
adelphia; but my failing health render
ing me incapable of performing the ar-
unons unties oi a large parisu, x resigneu
mv post and came here to- assume- con
trol over a small flock, and attend tp the
health of mv daughter."
There was something indiscribably
solemn in the face of; the clerg jr man as
he uttered these last 'words. Alter a
pause he continued: I
"Mav I ask to what I am indebted for
the honor of this visit?"
With more vehemence than he had
ever manifested in his life, the young
lawver rani ilv related the events of the
day before, windingup bv the statement:
"I propose immediate marriage to
your daughter, provided the yoang lady
will have me." i
The father bowed his head and looked
sad. i
"Mr. S be said at length, "do
von know that mv daughter has not a
t w w
pennv m the world ?"
"I waut to marry ithe girl for herself,
not for her money, said the lawyer.
"Do you know." said the 'sire, ."that
my daughter's maternal grandparent
was hanged during the Revolution V
"Why do you tell me of her grand
father?" said the lawyer ansrrily. "I
love the girl, and would marry her if all
her errand parents had been hung since
the flood !" !
Now there was a shade of pain, like
the flit a disturbing ploud over the face
of a calm sunset, came and went over
the old man's face. Twice he placed his
hand on the red spot on his sad face, he
sighed deeply, and; after an ellort, Le
looked loner'and solemnly in the eyes of
his visitor, and in solemn tones remarked
"Your language, your letters and your
earnestness satisfy me that I am address
ing a gentleman. I dare not treat your
honest love rudely." j
The old gentleman paused and again
the solemn flashes of sadness came over
his face, while he looked as if he were
surveying the long, shadowy, past.
"I have not always, young man, been
buried, as you see me, in this remote
place. I loved once and the woman I
loved now wears the crown of martyr
dom. At the bidding of her Lord she
sacrificed the luxuries of her elegant
home to follow the footsteps of a poor
priest, who followed his Master. And
in the labors and the loneliness of this
place she laid berj life on the altar of
sacrifice, leaving me with a desolate
heart and the crirl whom vou love. I
have never doubted.' added the old man,
with fervor, "that He wonld care for
her."
"I will give her position, wealth and
everything that money can buy," ex
claimed Mr. S .
"Do you know that my daughter is an
idiot? Come this way, young man."
The lover followed his future father-in-law
up a flight of stairs.
"Look at your bride," said he, point
ing to a figure upon the floor. Half re
clining upon the floor and playing with
a doll, was the object of his attraction.
The lawyer approached the girl and, with
the familiarity which sincere love only
can give, reverently lifted the mass of
beautiful but senseless beauty from the
floor, and placing it reverently upon a
chair, and placing his hand upon her
forenead, looked long and intently down
into her deep blue eyes. Alas! She re
turned one look, as men look at things
they do not understand. It was all too
true. The barrister was 'looking at
vacuity.
For a moment tho lawyer sighed, as
strong men eigh but ouce iu their lives,
"I wish to speak a moment with you
alone," said S .
"Wo can speak here. She will under
stand no.more that the dead."
The two gentlemen parted at a late
hour that evening, the faces of both pale
and wet.
When the snows of the next winter
were whitening the Potomac with foam,
S and his bride stood before the
altar oi Dr. O'Bryau's church, in Wash
ington. He looked ten years older. The
sense of an unearthly trust and responsi
bility was consuming him. When the
ceremony was overk the bridegroom took
his wife in his strong arms, as a father
would take a child, and wrapping his
cloak about her tenderly, placed her in
the carriage. He stooped over her and
imprinted one kiss "upon her forehead.
"It is the first," said he, "and it will be
the last!" He had loved but once, and it
was the last. j
The traveler who loiter3 for an hour in
the quaint old town of Fayette, may see
the remains of an old garden at the rear
of one of the most comfortable houses,
and he may see the slight bars which
surorund a, pretty window at the rear.
Here, surrounded by all that money and
love could buy, lived; for forty years.the
child-wife of a brilliant lawyer the wife
of a man who was appointed District
Attorney by President Monroe.and who,
from 1821- to
1827,1 irOia ,lo3I to I83it
n.nd from 1843 to 1$47 eisrht terms in
all served as Representative in ' the
from his saddle, he walked boldly up to
the door, and, knocking, a faded gentle-
man appeared and iri'grave and dignified
tones, asked hisbusiness. IXxon niacin?
Congress of the United States, strange tne union iieorew joiiege, oi inncm
that in his strong honest heart, at a time nati, ia the Rabbi EppeDer.
J of life when passion and desire hold the
J ascendency, that this man should devote
I his fine mind, his money, his all, to the
care .of a beautiful idiot. He secured
, the attention of two Christian ladies (one
1 of them an old flame of his), and nothing
that could add to the comfort of tne
singular wife was withheld. During his
labors as a statesman, the husband
always hastened back from Washington,
his hands full of toys and trinkets, and
would sit upon the grass and amuse
her.
Some vears ago, the child-wife now
grown old and gray, but still pleasant tn
look upon was carried from her home
to the place where the grass grows iu the
church-yard, and often, at eventide, the
villagers see an old man, with stooping
figure and furrowed face, bending his
steps toward the little church inihe
calm summer evening, and arranging
with his hands the flowers which bloom
over the grave of the Idiot Wifo.
Deception In Feet. .
"That lady has very small feet! re
marked a reporter yesterday to a promi
nent shoe merchant, who had just per
formed the fitting process on a pretty
foot with a French shoe.
"Small!" exclaimed tlie msrehant.
"Well. 1 should remarfc! She wears a
No. 12. misses' si'e. though a No. 3. la
dies size, would come nearer the mark
"Rather a tight squeeze," suggested
the reporter.
"Not uuusual. I will tell you some
thing, though you need not use it in the
paper. No city in the United otates is
so renowned for ladies with small feet as
San Fraucisco; and why? Because in no
other city do the ladies, as a general rule,
so punish themselves as to crush a No. 5
foot into a No. 3 shoe. Why, ladies
come here and call for No. 2 Bboes, and
alter a gallant struggle they give it up
and go out complacently in fours and
even fives. You see this climate affects
feet more than any other in the world, and
larger shoes are required here than in
New York or Paris, where shoes can be
fitted that cannot be worn here, owing to
the c imatic action, due to a lack of
change in the atmosphere. Of course
we could never make our customers be
lieve this, so we resort to the artifice of
producing number three shoes from a
number four last, and they are thus
saved the shock of knowing the increase
in size of their feet gear.
"Do ladies require special lasts in the
manufacture of shoes to order?' in
quired the reporter.
"Notalweys. while there is no differ
ence in the anatomical construction of
the foot. I find that the daughters of
wealthy families do not give sufficient
exercise in youth to their feet, which
grow slender and fail to develop ,a high
instep and a strong, elastic ankle.
"Do you sell many 1 Tench shoes i
the reixrter asked.
"French shoes I was the reply; "why,
it s nearly all French, and, young man,
you can say that more jj rencu shoes are
sold in this city in a day than a day than
are sold in the United States in a month.
Just think of it. Thero are half a dozen
establishments in San Francisco that
import shoes direct from Paris, and there
is not a store in New York citv that
makes regular importations of French
shoes."
"I bey are very popular here, was
suggested.
"Popular? Oh, yes, though they are
the most absurd thing imaginable, and
for cramping ladies feet into all conceiv-
a Die shapes ox deformity they surpass
those worn by the Mongolians.
Taking a small shoe and holding it up
for inspection, he continued: "You see
the uppers are very narrow aud taper to
a point. Xhis neei, you wm observe, is
placed two inches above the counter and
made ridiculously high. By this decep
tion a No. 3 shoe measures No. 10 misses'
size from heel to toe; so, by crowding
he fore part of her foot into the pointed
receptacle, ana hiding the remainder in
the counter, back of the heel, a lady
stands on her tees and the instep, which
rests-over the heel of the shoe. Now.
the average size of the ladies' feet of San
Francisco require a No. 3 shoe, which.
by having the heel in the middle of the
foot, makes the deception that conveys
he idea of a small foot. Yoa only see,
however, about as much of it as vou
would of your own if you pushed it
into a boot-leg and stood on your toes."
"Now, here is a sensible shoe " he
said, and a large, broad shoe with low
heel was exhibited: "These ran as high
t b eights, and are mostly worn by East
ern ladies, from Chicago or Cincinnati,
whero they are famous for 'lug feet I
am satisfied that eventually broad shoes
and low, flat heels must prevail, for the
injurious effect of the present style may
not yet be felt; still the deformity and
suffering entailed will compel a descent
rom the airy hight of French heels to a
common level for the bottom of the foot.
ana then iook out for astonishing revela
tions in the size of our ladies' feet."
San Francisco Chronicle.
lie had Been Decorated.
The first thing that is done with
prisoner on his arrival at the workhouse
is to give him a bath. The other day a
prisoner in the police court was asked by
J udge Highley if he had ever been sent
to the workhouse.
"Well," replied the prisoner, "I was
decorated once.
"What do you mean by 'decorated?
inquired the judge.
"Received the . Order of the Bath;
don t you understand? '
The order was duplicated. Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
The first Jew who has been honored.
with the title of Docotr of Divinity from
Louise Hlchel.
Michel France's female firebrand
appears at meetings dressed in black
from head to foot, and delivers long,
monotonous tirades against property and
the bourgeoisie, which are ternblv effec
tive lust because of their monotony. She
has no logic to speak of; she is asincapa
oie oi a uennuion as isaian: her voice is
low and sweet; her manner is tho man
ner of a Sister of Charity, while the mat-
ter is that of one of the thirstiest blood
hounds of the convention. She sings,
sirenwise, a so t, revolutionary song of
hate and pillage and massacre. Half the
time she seems to be performing to her
sen; ner eyes are naii-ciosea; she is en
tete-a-tete with her demon. Other ofa
tors make the mistake of being a great
deal too wide awake; they are precise and
declamatory and statistical about i
wickedness oi capital. xnis woman. is
simply mystical; and the difference be
J. - ll J - 1 .
iween tnem is mat tney can nardiv get a
hearing without her aid.
Her history is simple; she has been
slightly mad about the Revolution with
a big R all her life. She is now quite
middle aged. This is a matter of infer
ence, inasmuch as she was old enough to
have plotted the murder of Napoleon III,
in imitation of Charlotte Corday. She
only did not murder him because the
war came to remove him quite as effect
ually in another way. She thought of
murdering M. Theirs, but was dis
suaded by a friend. There is no vapor
ing in all this; she would do it beyond a
doubt. She was a schoolmistress at one
time, but she taught the little boys and
girls a catechism of her own until they
shocked the priest with their awful ques
tions and answers, and Louise had to go.
The Commune, of course, claimed her as
its own. anu sue saw it an nuhting.
nursing the sick, starving, trying to get
killed. She missed that, but she got
transported. She was sent to New Cale
donia and nearly perished on the voyage
through cold weather in bare feet, to
protest against the brutality of an order
depriving another convict of her shoes
There has never been any whisper against
her good name but once, when a wicked
slanderer dared to say that she had been
listening devoutly to the church service;
but she explained at once to the satisfac
tion of every candid mind. When she
came back from the penal convent under
the amnesty, all revolutionary Paris
flocked to meet her, with Rochefort at its
head. There was a banquet ready, but
she could not stay; she hurried off in a
cab to see the old mother she had left
behind in France. That mother has
been the bane of Louise Michel's public
life, and perhaps for that reason the sal
vation of the other. She is old and bed
ridden, and she does not care about the
revolution a fig; she thinks it i . some
kind of madness possessing Louise, and
that she must get well of it if people
would only leave her alone. The anxiety
of looking after the mother and of look
ing after the big R at the same time has
made Louise Michel what she is.
A visit to her is instructive, as show
ing how some revolutionists live. They
do not all fare sumptuously on the wages
of agitation. Louise Michel is herself
the great sublime of misery and squalor
which she draws with such terrible effect
at public meetings. It is almost impos
sible to exaggerate the gloom aud dis
comfort of her rooms on the Boulevard
Ornano. To begin with, the Boulevard
Ornanc is quite out of the world, and
this lodfring is almost quite out of the
Boulevard Ornano, for it is situated near
the extreme end. It is on the fourth
floor; it is reached by a dirty staircase,
through an antechamber of dirt, and it
is dirt throughout. There is but one
white thing in the place a head of
Charlotte Corday and that is only be
cause the plaster is new. The books en
the trestle table look as if they had
been tumbled out there for sale
in a loo lot; it is tue scnoox-
ar's carelessness, doubled with the un-
thrift of poverty. Louise Michel is vol
untarily poor; she gives away every pen
ny not required for immediate needs,
and she saves as little as she can, from
the secret conviction that taking indi
vidual wages in any fashion is a sort of
crime, some time ago sue announced
that she would sell interviews with her
self for ten francs an hour, the proceeds
to go to some "brethren" who were in
durance for trying to blow society into
the air. A reporter of the Figaro called
upon her had a two hours' talk by the
clock, and gravely handed her twenty
francs. Nothing seems in its place
among that dreadful litter of old papers,
old dresses, dog's-eared volumes, pam
phlets and pats of butter. The heroine
when it is not go-to-meeting time is
dreadfully unkempt.
Rcw Fire Escapes or Balconies.
The authorities have been doing a good
work in examining buildings to see if
they were properly provided with fire
escapes, and ordering escapes put on
where they were deemed necessary. In
most cases the occupants of buildings
comply readily with 'the request of the
authorities, but they struck a snag the
other day. The proper officers were ex
amining a boarding house and had about
got through with their duties when the
landlady, who had just returned from
marketing, appeared upon the scene. She
looked over the party as they were tak-
ing a view from 'a oacK window, iour
stories from the ground, and she asked
them what they wtjre driving at. Ose
of tbem said:
"Madame, we are inspecting your
premises with a view to finding out what
facilities you have lor ooaroers to mate
their exit in a huiry. We conclude that
you must provide iron balconies for these
windows, with ladders running within
ten feet of the ground, so that in an
emergency your boarders oan get out.
"Not much I Not any ladders nor any
balcony J" said the landlady, as she
wiped her hands on her apron. "Not
unless tho city will be responsible in
case the boarders escape 'without pay
ing their board."
"Why; what do you mean, madame?
Do you refuse to provide . facilities for
escape ?
"You bet I do," said the lady, as she
put her hands on her hips and turned
ner head one side and looked sassv.
"There are enouch of them get out now
without paying, when I have onlv one
outside door, and 1 lock that at eleven
o clock.-; You see that window on the
fourth fl6or? Well, a patent fire escape
peddler.who had been boarding with me
two weeks, let himsew and his satchel
down out of that window, just to show
the boarders how it worked, and I have
not seen him since, and he owed me
twelve dollars. You never kept a board
ing house, did you?"
The examiners said they never did.and
looked at each other and winked, and
the landlady began again:
"No, gentlemen; 1 will give up this
house before I will provide any more
facilities j for sudden change of base on
the part of the boarders. I try to keep
as good watch of boarders as anybody,
but.they often get away. If people who
are in danger of being suffocated could
use the ingenuity of deliquent boarders,
very fewi people would be destroyed by
fire. If I had iron balconies and iron
ladders running to tho ground "from
every floor, I wouldn't collect money
enough to pay my gas bill. Why, there
was a fellow who was seliincr chromos.
these "God Bless Our Home" and "Pull
Down Your Vest" pictures, that boarded
with me for two weeks. He was pious.
and had i a nice zink trunk, and I
thought he was all right, but one morn
ing I missed his gentle face at breakfast.
He always seemed ho sad because we
didn't have morning prayers and ask a
blessing, that I always felt sorry for him.
The chambermaid said she found the
sheets tied together in his room, and the
window open, and when I broke open
bis trunk it was nothing but a ten
shilling trunk painted the color of zink
there was nothing in it but a couple of
scuttlesfuls of my coal, and he owed me
fourteen dollars. In case of fire
he wouldn't have needed a
fire escape. There was a woman here
peddling books last year, and how she
got out I don t know, but she .let her sat
chel down with corset string, and bilked
me out of twelve dollars and some under
clothes she borrowed of me to wear to
thcbummer night concertat Schlitz Park.
You needn't bo alarmed about mv
boarders getting out. I could empty the
house in five minutes by going around
and asking them for a week's board in
advance, i No iron ladders for this Gar
den of Eden, thank you."
lint, madam, the law will compel you
to provide the ladders," said one of the
examiners, who was more bold than the
rest. i
"Then the city must enter into bonds
to indemnify mn against loss. If the
city, through the proper officers, will
agree to pay all board bills that are
jumped by the aid of these iron ladders,
I will think about putting them up, but
the city will have to keep a watchman at
the front and back of the house
with a shot gun. There is a certain class
of boarders that sits up nights to think
of some way to get out with their bag
gage, and I shall not go to any expense
to make it easy for them, and don t. you
forget it. I There is always some' new
scheme coming up to break the hearts of
boarding house keepers, and this one. is
the la3t hair that breaks -the camel's
back." .
And she put her apron over her eyes
and began to cry, and the inspectors
withdrew.-f Peck's Sun.
Th 3 Judge.
t ,
I 1
"Is this the place ve give pinshins?"
eagerly inquired a ruddy-faced Irish
woman at j a pension office in Washing
ton. "It is: madam, what can I do for you?"'
politely inquired the agent.
"Ouch! a dale, snr. D ye know wan
Mrs. McGuflin?'' she asked.
"Yes, madam; she is a lady who se
cured a pension from this office, is she
not?" I
"She is, sur, she got it bekase her hus
band, Barney McGuffin, hasn't had a leg
onder 'im since he was in the war."
The same party. Proceed, madam,"
said the pension agent.
"Well, sur, an' sure Oi was thinkm'
she was
no
better nor me, an en moy
man-
i
"Was he in the late war with McGuf-
fin ?" quickly inquired the wily agent.
"He was, an' the divil a word a lie in
it, but he hasn't had a sober leg ondhur
'im since, so Oi thought Oi could dhraw
a pinshin, too.
'This am t a Moonshiner s ornce, mad-
am, or a Good xempiar s lodge, eitner
so go along about your business," angrily
cried the disappointed pension agent.
Lawrence American: In a grammar
examination in town the question was
asked: "How many senses are there,
and what' senses has Laura Bridgeman
lost?" One pupil wrote his answer as
follows: ''There are two senses, com
mon and proper. Laura Bridgeman has
Inst all her common senses and has onlv
jr proper ones left." During the same
examination, scholars were asked to
state three prominent employments in
the world. ! One boy wrote "agriculture,'
mining and school keeping." . .
Sergeant Ballantine, on one occasion,
had a lady, client named Tickle. Mr.
Ballantine said to the judge: 'Tickle,
my client, my lord " .Here he was in
terrupted by the judge, saying: "Tickle
her yourself, my learned brother." Bal
lantine, who is a great wit, looked glum
for a whole day.
dIIOUT BITS.
America is the best customer Cor Bir
mingham gunmakers. -
Horses flourish in a cold climate. Rus
sia has nearly 17,000,000.
The test of a good orange is said to be
its thin skin and heavy weight.
Pennsylvania is one of the few States
without a State board of health.
Fishing is called angling because so
many crooked stories are told about it.
An Iowa printer is still type sticking
at the age of ninety years, and works
daily.' : - .'...''
Dr. Ott has learned that the rattle
snake's tail makes sixty vibrations a
second.
If is is true that "cleanliness is next to
godliness," then soap must be next to
prayer.
Many a poor fellow crets a lift to tho
other world through the agency of the
eleyator.
There are thirteen crrounds for divorce
and the next legislature expects to ring
in cold feet..
The one railroad in all Greece is five
miles long, and each mile of it took a
year to build.
The homestead of the late Senator nill
of Georgia, which cost 820,000, has been N
soia lor tfo.ow.
A valuable deposit of mica, mixed with
copper, has been discovered in Bucking
ham county. Va.
A lady says that the difference between
a silk dress and a calico gown is material;
Dut that's au stuff.
The droppings of sheep are much more
concentrated and valuable than those
from any other domestic animals. .
A Romanite apple tree on a farm in
Georgetown township, near New Albany.
Inl., is eight feet in circumference.
It is reported that about a dozen
desperadoes we.re shot or hung in Weeks-
vine ana vicinity last week by vigilants.
It was Thomas Cor win who said ' that
he best course of study for a law
student would be two years service on
he jury.
If our religion is not true, we are
bound to change it; if it is true, we are
bound to propagate it. Archbishop
Whately.
"It is suggested by a lady that the
reason they say "her" and "she" when
they speak of ships is that they are so
very docile and obedient.
It is related of the famous Spanish
banker, Don Jose de Salamanca, who
died recently, that in 1858 he gave a sin
gle dinner that cos 90,000.
The governor of Kentucky, it is said,
pardoned in a year and a half 505 persons
for murders, attempts on life and prepar
ations for taking life or liberty. ...
The late M. Gambetta's father has kept
every letter that his son ever wrote to
him, even in ohildhood, and he contem
plates publishing the collection.
"Take up the cross and follow Christ,"
is an old condition of discipleship. but it
is a condition which has not (bulged
with changing time. Dr. Raleigh.
Pies date back to the time of tho Ro
mans, and originally from' Picardy.
Some of the original pies are said to f e
still on sale at the railroad restaurants.
A southern correspondent of the Hart
ford, Conn., Times says that there are
three seasons in .Florida tho orange,
vegetable and invalid; the latter pays the
best.
A regiment of troops and two men-of-war
have been sent to Cantania, Sicily,
to quell an outbreak which arose from a
change in railway rates for carrying sul
phur. The prisoners in Dublin charged with
the assassination of Cavendish and Burke
are furnished meals from a public house
and a stranger calls weekly and pays the
bills.
A friend of ours recently endeavored
to excuse himself from serving on the
grand jury on the ground that he was
color blind, and, therefore, couldn't try
a negro.
A person having asked how many
"dog-days" there wdre in a year, re
ceived for an answer that it was impos
sible to number them, as "every dog has
His own day."
Great Britain has no less than 1674
generals in her army, but only 250 of
them are in active service. There are
probably half a million in the civil ranks
of this country.
A man who crossed the Atlantic for the
first time said he did not think he was
much of a sailor at starting, but when he
was one day out he felt as if he could
heave up the anchor. N
-A New York divorce lawyer's adver
tisement reads: "Hymeneal incompati
bilities, as a specialty, carefully adjust
ed. Tis a slavery to detain the band
after the heart hath fled."
The Northern Pacific road, has a gap
of 290 miles in Montana, the eastern sec
tion having been completed to within
ten miles of Bozeman. The tracks will
probably be joined in J uly.
In Massachusetts there is one divorce
to twenty-one marriages; in Vermont,
New Hampshire and Connecticut about
one to fourteen; in Rhode Island one to
twelve; in Maine, one to eight.
To Joseph Jefferson is attributed the
remark that although the lata lamented
Duohess -of Gainsborough's hat may
form a fine background to a lovely faoe,
it is a bad foreground to a comedy.
The people who attend the theater in
Kansas City are not afraid of fire or a
panic; but they are alarmed at an epi
demic of nails in the opera house seats.
The subject is one of harrowing import