v2r
v
IT
A
VOL. III.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, DECEMBER 8, 1882.
NO. 18.
s... j y y , z, yf y s? , .
COLUMBIAN.;' '
A LOYK OF A BONNET.
"I promised 4 buy my wife a new
bonnet." remarked the editor of the Re
corder, as lie crossed Canal street arm in
arm with his bosom friend, Al Knowltou,
dodging a truck as he uttered the words,
and stubbing the toe of a tight boot in
onsequence.
"Well, , now that you are in town, and
on Uroadway, 3-0x1 ought to keep your
word, and buy her as nice a bonnet as
von can find." answered the friend, as he
steadied the newspaper man, restoring to
1? ! !
nini his eqnuiormni.
"Yes, I knosv I ought to; but you see
we country editors are not. blessed, usu
ally, with as many dollars' as tbere are
quads in tho case. I have come to New
York to buy material and to see about
"commission merchant's ads, and I must
not run myself short. Then, again, it is
a matter of 200 miles too Freetown, and
I must go up the river on business be
fore I go home; so, that, on the whole,
the expense and the trouble of carrying
the head-gear is too much. I guess An
nie will have to tip without it."
"Do without it !"' exclaimed Knowlton,
with a wealth of reproach in his tone.
"Do without it ! You are a pretty fel
low to grumble about expenses anil dis
tance ! Your generosity is about as poor
as your grammar. You say you have
'come on' to New York to buy printing
material. Now I say 'come on' and buy
a bonnet for your wife. You can do the
opposite, but she will bless the expense
if it is a handsome hat, and she can let
her neighbors know it came all the way
from New York
"No, I guess I won't get it this time,
aid Editor Bawshay.
'But I guess you will, though," re
plied liaowlton. 1 11 give yon no
peace until you purclwi.se a very love of a
bonnet for that charming woman to whom
you r. fer so carelessly as 'my wife.'
Come. now. we will begin with the first
store where there is the least liklihood
of finding one. Here, old fellow, is a
place where they sell artificial llowers;
let's co in and see if by any chance
there is a bonnet for sale
Somewhat against his will Bawshay
suffered himself to be drawn into the
trap, and presently Knowlton was asking
to see some bonnets
"Well," said the proprietor of the
establishment, in reply, "well, we do
not keep bonnets; our business is con
fined to artificial flowers; but perhaps
we have one or two which have boon
used to display samples of our goods.
which I can let vou have at a low figure
Step this way.
In the rear of the large store five bon
nets were found arxl duly inspected. The
first four were unanimously condemned,
but the fifth was charming. So thought
the two male connoisseurs as they gazed
at the delicate affair held aloft in the
right hand of the merchant, who swayed
it graceful ly incurvinuear lins giving
it a sheer to larboard and now to stur-
bard.
les, quotn Jvnowiton who was a
bachelor, and of course "au fait" . in all
matters of this sort "it is just the thing
you want, Bawshay buy it.
Suddenly the proprietor was blessed
with a happy thought.
"Here, Jenny," he cried, addressing a
blooming young girl, the center of a
group of five women (the same number
as the stock of bonnets) who were en
gaged in arraying roses and leaves not
ten feet away. "Here, Jennv, will vou
be so good as to try this on?"
. Jenny was a lovely creature, who evi
dently coultl make any bonnet seem
other than it was by. simply wearing it
She did not appear to like the idea of
disporting herself before two strange
men in order to show off the becoming
ness of an elegant head-covering as an
inducement to them to purchase the
same: it was a little out of her line; but
she came forward and tried the bonnet
on, blushing gloriously the while, mak
ing a most fascinating picture, which
the editor and his friend regarded with
open and undisguised admiration.
The hat was pronounced "perfection
itself, and the charming girl returned
it to the merchant with a delicious air of
confusion and embarrassment.
Bawshay produced a roll of bills, thus
apparently giving the lie to the legend
about country editors' incurable impocu-
niosity, and demanded:
"How much?"
"Any milliner in town would charge
you at least $25 for it; but as tve don't
sell hats, and this is something unusual
with us, you may have it for 85,
"Five dollars!" said Knowlton, under
his breath. "Five dollars! About right
as to value, but dirt cheap as hat prices
go.
'All right," said Bawshay, "all right;
please put it up.
Knowlton hoped that the flowerman
would prolong the process, lor he was
infatuated with the fair girl who had ex
hibited the article of dress in such a
bewitching manner, and he could
"hardly keep his eyes off her," as the
phrase goes.
Bawshay, married man though he was,
furtively regarded the young lady as she
plied her vocation, still as red as the
roses she was at work upon. .
"Smitten, eh?" said the editor, as; the
friends reached the sidewalk, with the
bandbox containing the treasure between
them
"Well, yes, I am, and no mistake!"
a a -t -fr ii iiTi.-i).. 1.1. : : 1
reiorieu xvnowiion. xiiais iuo ; yin
I have been looking for. I wonder how
I can ever become acquainted with her?"
"That is easy enough," said Bawshay.
"You keep a fancy store, don't you?
Well, opeu an artificial flower depart
ment and buy your stock at this estab
lishment; ask the proprietor to let this
beauty wait upon you; improve the ac
quaintance and trust to luck."
"Capital!" said Knowlton. "I'll do it!"
And he did.
The bonnet reached Freetown in due
ton.
course, and many blessings were iuvoked
upon Bachelor Knowlton's head by the
editor's delighted wife, who had been
informed of the incidents of purchase,
and who wore the husband's appreciated
gift so daintily and with an air of such
supremo elegance as to win at once the
applause and envy of the whole village.
Bawshay himself had more solid com
fort for his i?." than any $50 he ever
spent. j
And while this "love of a bonnet" was
creating such a sensation in Freetown, it
was exerting a powerful influence still in
New York. Following his literary
friend's advice, Knowlton became a eua
tomer at the store where the now fam
ous example of the milliner's skill had
been purchased. According to pro
gramme and arrangement with the owner
the blooming young girl who had fascin
ated his senses at first sight waited upon
him. i
She was not as diffident as he expected.
She served him with exquisite grace, an
swered his questions,! listened to his
diffusive and effusive ! remarks with an
enchanting air, seemed to like the young
fellow immensely ; and, after a few weeks
the proprietor thought he had not done
a very good thing in allowing Jenny to
wait on his new customer, as he took up
too much of her time -over very small
purchases, and seemed do' be waiting on
her, rather than she on him.
At last he remonstrated. The next
time that he dropped in to buy he found
the charming youug lady more cordial
and merry than ever before, and his
intoxicated senses reeled with delight, so
that he did not know as his grand
mother used to sa, whether he was
"standing on his heels." All at oace the
fair girl's sweet voice startled him be
yond measure. In silver tones of dulcet
softness, with a world of insinuation in
them, she asked, as she leaned over the
counter, beaming upon him with a melt
ing smile:
"Yon are becoming .very loud to me,
aren't you?"
Like ClarkRussell's "Grosveuor" in a
cross sea, his mind was taken "all aback'"
and, like the vessel, he was in danger of
sinking wrong end first. i
"Because," continued the lovely girl,
"I dou't want to create a false- impression.
I am married. My husband is au invalid
at present but will not always be so, and
I expect to leave this .situation soon. I
took it to keep the wolf from the door,
but I haven't found it necessary to grow
thin and pale over it; and, as I always
believe in looking at the bright side I
am, my friends tell me, younger-looking
than I am "
Knowlton was dazed, but he heard
every word as she went on: -
"Now, I like you very much I liked
you the iirst time 1 saw you; it seemed
so good of you to urge your friend so
earnestly to buy a bonnet for his wife.
You continued a conversation about it,
you remember, that had evidentlv be
gun in tho street. Mr. Knowlton, my
married life hag been very happv, and.
although my hnsband is sick, he is in a
condition to get well 1 again, and the
future is bright with hope. I
have thought all ! along that
you only wanted i a good wife
to complete you, and I hive picked out
one for you, who, if you take to and are
fortunate enough to win, will make
your life happy. I have a sister who is
jast like me in everything a counter
part, in fact she is employed in a store
something like this farther up the street.
1 will give you a letter of introduction,
if you like. I sell flowers, she sells
feathers; you can make her acquaint
ance buy feathers, etc., and, in time,
you may be intimate enough to ask if
you may can upon her. 1 snail say
nothing to her, meanwhile, unless yon
desire it; bub if vou make slow progress.
I will arrange it o that you can meet
her at my home. I am' sure she will
like you, and if you like me, you ought
to like her. How does the proposition
strike you?" S
At last the merrv little woman ended
her speech, and waited until her would-
be admirer had recovered sufficiently to
make answer. The novelty of the whole
affair, from the buying of the bonnet to
the proposed introduction to a second
fair one, caused the Vdumfoundedly
perplexed" bachelor to exclaim:
Well, this n the oddest experience I
ever had! I have always j said that my
state should be one of single blessed
ness and here I am in the matrimonial
net. caught fast! Yes, I'll see your sis
ter!" said Knowlton. decidedly, jumping
to his feet and giving the stool a whirl-.
"I'll see your sister! Aud if she is half
as jolly and good as yourself, I'll do my
best to wed hei ! ;
Feathers were as good a pretext as
flowers. Knowlton made' extraordinary
progress in a few brief weeks and "bister
Hattie," ho was, if anything, more
lovely thau Jenny, was captured com
pletely. Their first meeting was an
example of simultaneous; strong, mu
tual liking, and as the days soed on it
.1 .1
V
Knowlton prospered in his business
and prospered in his love. Jennv's lms-
band got well, and there being nothing
in the way, the generous bachelor be-
came a benedict, married Hattie. built a
small double cottage on Bersren heights.
so that the sifters are next door uei&rh-
bors; and, though he may have occasion
to grumble at expenses a. much as Baw
shay hereafter, he has registered a vow
to draw the line at bonnets; for, how
ever reasonable it may be for other men
to complain of prices, land frequent
changes in millinery styles, he will
never say a word so long as his wife
makes good selections, and his sister-in-law
wears a "love of a bonnet."
We ought not to look back unless it is
to derive useful lessons from pasl errors,
and for the purpose of profiting by dear
bought expeneuce. Ueorge Washing
BTRAXiK STORIES.
" used to know a lot of stories about
animals and things," said tho old- man,
dropping a Nevada paper and regard
ing the exchange editor earnestly.
"Some of 'em was quite curi's and in
terestin'," and he leaned back in his
chair and joined his finger tips medita
tively. Animals do some very strange
things," assented the exchange editor.
"Which reminds me 01 my roan mare,
continued the old man.
roan mare know'd more'n
a hired girl.M
She had a tail tliafc. reached
and yon ought to seen that
the ground
mare catch
trout."
"How did she do it?" asked the
ex-
change editor, brightening up.
"Well, sir, she'd back up to the
stream and flip her tail in the water, and
out they'd come. Sometimes the air
would jest be full o' trout, and the old
mare a fishin' and that tail flying around
landin' the biggest fish ye ever seen.
Oh, she was old Sagacity! Once a man
stood watchiu her and dodgin' the fish,
and all of a suddint he referred to one
as a speckled beauty. That roan mare
jest turned around and kicked his brains
out!"
"Served him right!" commenced the
evchange editor energetically.
"But she died," sighed the old man.
"How did that happen?"
"The trout fixed it up on her. One
day about a gross of 'em got hold of her
tail to once and hauled her in. She
made it pretty lively for 'em, and when
she went under a good many fish came
to the surface laughin!"
"How does a fish look when he's
laughing?" asked the exchange editor.
"Didn't yon ever see a fish laugh? He
has to turn on his back to do it. 'cause
the corner of his mouth is turned down.
When he flops over, they turn up, you
see, and that makes him laugh, Them
fish what comes to the surface was mostly
on their backs!
"Know any more animal stories?"
murmured the exchange editor.
"Ever heard about our Old Dominion
hen? Well, sir, she was on the set for
keeps. Couldn't keep her off. Old
door knobs, soda bottles, lamp chimneys,
match safes, anything was good enough
for her. Finally I put her on three mud
turtles and I hope to die if she didn't
hatch out alligators! Yes sir, three of
'em! One of 'em eat her up, and when
we opened him, there was the hen settin'
on his back teeth and they'd swelled up
so they'd choked him to death!"
"Got her yet?" inquired the exchange
editor. "No, sir, replied the old man,
dismally. "I lost her in a euri's way.
She got to feed in' on broken glass and
settin' on cartridges. We humored her
until one day the nest of cartridges went
off and that ended her. She'd got so
thin that the glass in her condensed the
rays of the sun and set. fire to the pow
der. I lost a good cow by that explo
sion." "How was that?" inquired the ex
change editor, resting his head on his
arms.
"You see, that cow had been into the
family nigh onto forty year, and her
horns was decorated with all the gates
for miles around. Sometimes we'd find
her down in the well, and sometimes
we d find her rootin' around the chirn
ney. The only way we could get her out
of church Sunday moruin was by havm
the lire engine squirt on her, and when
we wanted to milk her we used to h'ist
her up a tree and milk her with cork
screws. She was very fond of that hen!"
and the old man wiped his eyes.
"Go on!" mcaned the exchange editor.
"She was very fond of the hen, and
used to bring her old stove lids and clubs
and bootjacks that the neighbors flung at
her when she got into their melon
patches, for her to set onto. Well, then.
1 11 1 .... ...
wuen mo nen was settin onto them car
tridges, the cow was nosin' around, and
jest before the business blew up, that
cow came for'ard with a couple of old
t 1 - V
uymn oooks and a pew door. 1 suppose
sue had some new religion in her mind
that she wanted hatched out. When the
cartridges went off they drove the hymn
books clear into her and stove her side
out. I didn't know how powerful they
was before!"
"That is pretty strong!" conceded the
exchange editor.
"Speakin of strength reminds me of
how old brindle cat used to open clams.
She'd come around, howl until the clam
opened his shell to threw an old boot at
her, and then she'd stick in her claw and
tickle the Soles of his feet till he got to
sleep, and then she had him. Clams is
a very sagacious bird, too. Ever watch
one? '
Not until he was cooked." sighed the
exchange editor . " .
I had one that was right
no on him
self. The flies and mosniiitoaa nsd to
bother him when he opened his shell,
until he caught a spider and made him
weave a web across his mouth and then
he was happy. Curi's thing about that
clam. After that he used to onen himself
in the back to feed. Opened on the hinged
ena so a3 not to disturb the spider. The
darter clamed that he was a young female
an1 hooked up behind, but we all know'd
better."
"Can you show that clam
groaned the exchange editor.
now?'
No, sir," replied the man solemnly.
"He came to grief, too. You see, that
clam was very fond of rats, and ho used
to sit in front of a rat hole all day long
and smell like cheese. We never could
get on to how he did it, but he did.
That was his sagacity, j When the rats
came out he.d go for 'em, aud I've seen
him get eighty to a hundred a day. One
time he nipped a stager, and that was the
last of him.
"Make it short,"
muttered the ex-
change editor.
"Yes, sir; well, he got the rat by the
tail, and the rat climbed over and
tickled him on the other end. He opened
and caught the rat's foot, but of cours9
he lost his grip on the tail, The rat be
gan to scratch him pretty badly until the
clam opened and took" in another foot.
In that way the rat got all four feet in
side the shell. "
"Well, what then?"
"The rest wasn't very hard. The rat
sprawled around until he got his head
aad body in. Then he had him."
'I don't see how," remonstrated the
exchange editor." '
"Just here: there wasn't room for 'era
? both in that shall and the clam had to
get out, and out he came."
"Where did he go?" inquired the ex-,
change editor.
"I don't know," answered the old man
impressively. We never saw him after
wards, but I learn that he was sittin
around a printin offioe pokin' fun at old
men who dropped in with items, but I
never believed it."
And j as the old gentleman pottered
out, the exchange editor rolled up a hard
wad of country weeklies and dropped
them on the head of the editor in chief
who was passing under the window.
Be, 4 by a Bummer.
The philosopher of tho Boomerang of
Laramie plains thustells how a philan
thropist of the road "went through him:
It begins to look now as though Major
F. G. Wilsbn, who stopped here a short
time last week and week before, might
be a gentleman in disguise. He has
done several things since he left here
that looks to a man up a tree like some
thing irregular and peculiar. The Major
has not only prevaricated, but he has
done so in such a way as to beat his
friends and make them yearn for his per
son, in order that they may kick him
over into the inky bight of space. He
has represented himself as confidential
adviser j and literary tourist ot several
prominent New York, Chicago, Omaha
and Tie Siding dailies, and had such
good documents to show in proof of his
identity in that capacity, that he has re
ceived many courtesies which, as an
ordinary American dead-beat, he might
have experienced great difficulty in
'securing.
We simply state this in order to put
ur esteemed contemporaries on their
guard, so that they will not let him slip
in their overshoes and e ijoy himself as
he did here. He wears fa white hat on
his head and a crooked tooth in the
piazza of his mouth. This pearly fang
he uses to masticate and reduce little
irregular fragments of plur tobacco,
which he borrows from people who have
time to listen to the silveiy tinkle of his
bazoo.
When last seen he was heading west,
and will probably strike Eureka, Nevada,
in a week or two. His mission seems to
be mainly to make people feel a gone
ness in their exchequer and to distribute
tobacco dados over the office stoves of
our great land. He is a man who writes
long letters to the New York Herald that
are ' never printed. His freshly
blown nose is red, but his
newspaper articles are not. He claims
to represent the Mutual Keserve Fund
Life Association. The company repre
sents the insurance and he attends to the
mutual reserve fund. He has mutually
reserved all the funds he could get hold
of since he struck the West, besides mu
tually reserving enough strong drink to
eaca uoie tnrougn ine Ames monument.
Such men as Major Wilson make us
suspicious of humanity, and very likely
the next man who comes aloug here and
represents that he is a great man and
wants five dollars on his well rounde 1
figure and fair fame will have to be iden
tified. We have helped forty or fifty
men to make a bridal tour of Wyoming,
and now we are going to saw off and
quit. When a great journalist comes
into this omce again with internal rev
enue on his breath and nineteen dollars
back on his baggage, we will probably
pick np a fifty-pound chunk of North
Park quartz and spread his intellectual
faculties around this building till it
looks like the Custer massacre.
Marrying Unler Difficulties.
VI
1 la borate preparations jor a marriage
ceremony had been made in Providence
tho other night. The minister was pres
ent to tie the nuptial knot, the guests
had arrived, and the bride, with palpitat
ing heart, awaited the arrival of the man
who was to be her nartner for lift Tl
marriage was to have taken place at seven
o clock and the groom went away a short
time before, stating that he wished to
don another suit of clothes. The hour
he. cereniony arrived, but the groom
Q1U 001 appear, xue urine grew anxious;
the guests gazed at the good things and
wondered at the delay. Finally scouts
were sent out. The Central Station was
visited, in the belief that, in the excess
of his happiness, the would-be husband
had imbibed too freely of the oil of joy.
but the guardians of the peace had not
seen him. ! After considerable time spent
in search he was found and ui ought to
the house. Matters began too look
brighter, and immediate preparations
were made to complete the marriage.
But it was not to be, for the groom dis
covered that he had forgotten his mar
riage license. Again he started on the
run to procure this passport to his future
happiness, with which he returned after
some delay, and at half-past ten o'clock
the knot was tied, and everything went
as merrily as a marriage bell.
A maple tree one foot in diameter
grows out of a solid rock, three feet from
the ground, on the farm of Judge Bron
son, of Seymour, Allegany county,
N. Y. A cedar limb about two inches in
diameter juts from the trunk of the tree
about a foot from the ground. It is as
flourishing as any of the other branches,
-
Pelton'g Obituary.
1 never
about the;
turned my hand to writing
dead for the reason that the
living monopolize my overplus of time.
But the other day I was sitting medi
tating' upon a subject of vast importance
to me that is. if the oomet should strike
the earth what would become of me ?
when the door opened, and in walked a
lady who was darkened by the "weeds"
of mournifig, her head sandwiched be
tween a big-black hat and a long viel.
In a musical voice she said :
"Are you Mr. Prindle ?'
" x es, midam "I replied, very politely.
Are you the man who has made a
vast fortune writing for the newspapers?"
I was abashed; I knew not what to
say. I mike .a fortune? Why, I had
borrowed three cents not more "than half
an hour before to mail a gratuitous ar
ticle to a starving elitor. She took my
blushing silence as an admission, and
went on :
"I want
me."
1
you
to write something for
"Yes, madame
I thought I could
smell money.
"You knew my husband, Mr. Pelton?"
I bowed. She extracted from her
pocket a latge handkerchief, and began
to rub her eyes vigorously.
"He he is gone !"
"When?'?
"Last night, boo hoo. Oh, dear."
"To stay?
"Sir!" I
"Another woman ?"
"What?"
I thought her keen, black, flashing
eyes would 'pierce me to the soul.
"I did not understand you," I said.
"Mj poor, dear " here she broke
down in sobs; soon the tempest had
passed. She began again:
"My poor, dear husband, Mr. Pelton
is dead, boo-hoo Oh, boo-iloo!"
"Oh, I see." My idea was you see
that he had eloped with his wife's aunt,
or some one, else.
"Will you write something?" she
asked. Th fact was that learning that
ske was a widow her beautiful black
eyes had become very bewitching.
"Oh, yes,! an obituary,"! replied.
"That s it, an obituary. You see he
was a class leader, and very active, he
was an honest man an honest man. My
poor dear departed husband, the lament
ed Mr. Pelton."
"Yes, yes you wish me to say that
our fellow citizen, the honored Mr. Pel
ton, has got! his just deserts."
"What?" she screamed.
"That the honored Mr. Pelton is dead.
That he has 'gone to the bright world of
glory." I
"Yes, that's so."
"That ho was honest, owed no man,
was active in his church relations, al
ways performed his whole duty."
"How beautiful!" she exclaimed
"That he will be missed by society,
missed by the church, and by all who
knew him. He had no enemies, his
charity was great, and that we mourn
with his family their great loss, but the
good, and tbe honest must die." how's
that?
"Beautifu, splendid, that will be fine,
just what I wantj'twill please his friends
so much. There's Bacon the banker,
and all his friends."
"Yes, madame, I'll do my best."
"Thank ybu ever so mnch."
She tripped out of the room and I lost
all my smell I of money.
But I would
write it. nevertheless. I would see
Mr. Bacon and get some more valuable
points in this good man's character. Per
haps, after all, the money would come.
So I straightway repaired to Mr. Bacon's
bank and began:
"Mr. Pelton, our most worthy citizen,
is aeaa. 1 came to '
He sprang from his chair like a mad
man. i
"Dead!" he exclaimed "that miserable
cuss dead, ifie let all his notes go to
protest, and Wves half the men in town.
The dishonest- "
I waited toj hear no more. My dream
of future compensation was at aii end.
j
Are You a Man?
One day a young man was teasing a
little girl, when she, becoming tired of
him, exclaimed, impatiently :-
T T-..- ..U! 'l.ll t -r. ,
j.m. a. wuio w uigcioiues as you uo, i d
be a man." j
Her mother overhearing her remark,
called her away, and chided her her for
being so saucy, but soon the tears caused
by the rebuke were brushed away, and
the cause forgotten by the little girl. A
'ue caU8e forgotten by the little girl.
few years later the same cirl. then a
young lady, was returning home from
school, and iin making some changes of
the train was obliged to ston at a hotel
over
yer
f gn 2 1 ? and popular law- the agencies of the tipper frontierihou
. , i chafnced to. see her sands of men are employed, and it is not
.U??Jhe agister, and at once an exaggeration to sav that the majority
name
called upon her. As soon as he greeted
nernesam:
"I called to thank vou for what von
have done forme."
Rh a rani i a1 4
"You must be mistaken about mv
help, for although I do remember you as
a clerk in myj father s store, when I was
a child, I cannot recall one single favor
I ever did you, or in fact remember that
I had seen you since then."
He then referred to the imoatienfc re-
m .
i i . 'ii , ., . . I
marlr rkArnrA jninstA n .1 nZJl & 1 a. l I
he resolved to be a man. and from that
time had honestly tired to make some
thing of his (life. He also said be had
never heen tempted to do a mean thing
without hearing the warninor. TM Vi .
man.
In Mt. Pleasant, Pennsylvania, Jacob
D. Madeira has a grape vine that pro-
ducea a second growth of aranes nl
Michael Knoll has a near traa Mna.
soming for the second time. The tree
has more blossoms than it l.n.l in i.A
spring.
. wia m u m. u u
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
The proudest dav irt a Woman's lifa im
her first son day.
The cotton market is booming again.
Jersey waists have been revived.
The thistle and the milk-weed are new
flowers for art needlework embroiderers.
Somebody says that "women would
never do to run railroads, as the trains
would always be behind."
k The most pronounced lie on record is
that of a young man who asserts that he
There are over 600,000 acres of tobacco
field in the United States. The crop is
valued at about $45,000,000. '
The longest cucumber ever grown in
the South is now on exhibition in NortL
Carolina. It is 47 inches long.
It is said that there are upwards of
3000 steam plowing machines now em
ployed in England and Scotland.
A French physician says that raw
oysters and chicken soup will nourish
aay girl through at least six disappoint
ments in love.
The fashion of short sleeves never
made pretty arms, but it is more proba
ble that urettv arms made nhnrt dImvai
fashionable.
Faladeen's political conduct and opin
ion, were founded upon that line of
Sadi's, "Should the Prince at Jnoon-day
Bay, it is night declare that you behold
the moon and stars." Lolla Rookh.
There are 12,000 head of Jersey cattle
on the Isle of Jersey, and 6000 on the
Isle of Guernsey. The exportation
from both are nearly 3000 head per year.
Several hundred come to the United
States.
"I think I shall have to ask your
escort this evening," said a sister to her
big brother. "Well, I guess not. Do
you suppose I'm going to let folks know
I can't go with any girl but my sister?
I'll stay at home first."
A Pennsylvania inventer has evolved
a new rat-trap, in one end of which is a
mirror. This may do for the female rats,
but when a male rat notices that the bait
looks double he will think he has had
enough, and go home.
A rosebush bearing over 1000 buds is
the pride of a garden in Charlestown,
Mass. It is 35 years old, and it covers
over 100 square feet of ground.- A single
stem has sixteen buds, and stems having
twelve, ten, or less are quite nnmerous.
A very largo and fine cotton plant is
on exhibition in Lancaster, Pennsylva
nia. The plant is 7y; feet high, and con
tains sixty-five balls of cotton, several of
them in full bloom. It was raised by
Richard Avant on the farm of Henrv
Clark, Marion Court House, South Caro
lina. A lecturer who struck a town in
Illinois with "A Lecture to Men Only"
is in a way to make his fortune. He had
an audience of about fifty men, and those
fifty men have since received so much
attention from women anxious to find
out what was said that if the lecturer
visits that place again every man in town
will go to hear him.
The will of the late Mary M. Perkins,
of Boston, reads: "I leave to my hus
band," etc., meaning Ezra G. Perkins,
though she did not describe him by
name. John Hardy, from whom she
supposed herself divorced before marry
ing Perkins, now claims the property, on
the ground that he was her lawful hus
band, the divorce proceedings having
been fraudulent. The Probate Court
decided that the estate should be divided
between the two men, and the case is be-
fre the Supreme Court on appeal.
Western Mlscegnatloo
Among the Northwestern tribes of In
dians innocence is as marked among the
girls as their color. Educated in the
faith that she was ordained to work, she
trains herself to hard labor, and at six
teen years of age is sturdy and strong.
brave against fatigue, and a perfect
housewife. She may not possess New
England notions of cleanliness, but she
takes not a little pride in her personal
appearance, and in the arrangement of
her lodge she displays some crude ideas
of taste and a certain amount of neatness.
If she marries a white man she makes
him a good wife as long as she lives with
him. Her home is her comfort and his
comfort her sole ambition. She thinks
of him and for him, and makes it her
study to please him, and makes him love
and respect her. She recognizes in him
ne of a superior race, and by her dig
nity and devotion endears herself to him
aud struggles to make him happy. At
majority
of them have
happily.
Indian wives
and lire
The aspiring bridegroom must be
well known in the tribe before he can
hope to win a wife; her people want to
thoroughly understand him, and know
if he can support not only her, bat all of
her relatives in the event of a pinch. He
must be a warm-hearted man, with a
temper warranted to keep in any domes
tic climax; and he must have a good
I . I I I 1 1 . m n. Ill I WT III ll
V v.n
iuukd nuu ub icuok uoii
o
a dozen horses.
xi ne oe and nave an tnese ne can a woo
ing go. Then selecting a lady he makes
application to the mother, and at a coun
cil the price is fixed upon. If the girl is
especially pretty the mother will de
mand a gun, two horses and a lot of
provisions, blankets and cloth. A ana
is valued at 850, and he must famish the
material to bring the amount up to from
$100 to $150. Then he tries to beat the
dame down, and he if be succeeds he
knows there is some reason for her let
ting the girl go.and if not he understands
be is making a good choice. The court
nhip is left entirely to the mother.