TOL. II. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, MAY 5, 1882. NO. 39. ClI-MAK'l.VtJ. a aamty pariort with numerous easy- i i . tshairs a glowing fire in the nickel tri ruined neater a pretty little Woman listening for ihe footsteps of the lord and master. Tbis charming picture of do mestic bliss John Ackerman fully appre ciated as he stepped in to the room a few minutes later. " Well, Mollie what's the news ?" "Oh, nothing, only supper has been waiting half an horn. Come, let us hur ry and cat; I want to talk with von "I thought there was something on your mind; didn't know but I was going o get a lecture for being late. . "You deserve one, for this is the last evening I shall spend with you for two whole weeks; shows how highly you ap preciate your wife's society." Mrs. John Ackerman tried to frown, but failed completelv. In another half hour they were back in the cherry parlor, and Mollie began "I think Tom is a splendid fellow, and there were never two brothers more alike than you and he." "Thank you, my dear; I houoryour tulgment. "And, John, I have the most brilliant plan concerning him ! "Do tell ! John said, witn a move ment toward his coat pocket, where the evening paper lav in uncut solitude Mollie observed the motion' and promptly informed him that Tie should not read a word until she was - talking. through "I am going away to-morrow, and then you may read the' paper from the tim yon enter the house until midnight, with no one to bother you," she said, as John showed signs of insubordination. Somehow, the vision of the little parlor without Mollie's lively chatter did not seem to strike him very favorably"; per haps this was why he tossed the paper to the other side of the room and obediently promised to listen. Mollie perched her self on one arm of. his chair and com menced. "lou know mv sister Amy is coming home with me for a long visit and dDn't you think it would be splendid if she and Tom would fall in love with each other ? They could get married and set np house-keeping in the cottage like this one across the street and oh, John, it would make me perfectly happy !" .John Ackerman laughed long and heartily. "Match-making, by Jove !" he said at last. . "Miserable yourself, and want everybody else to be; is that it, Molrie ?" "Don t laugh, Jonn, for i m in earn est. I know they will like each other, and I have set my heart on the match; just think how nice it would be to have Amy here always, and Tom is such a darling ! Amy should furnish her par lor just like ours, only where this is blue, hers should be cardinal , for she is dark, you know." r John was laughing again by this time, and it took considerable management to rednce him to order. This once accom plished, he fell in with the plan readily enough. j- "I tell you what it Mollie; you don't want to say a word 6Tfhis to Tom or Amy, or they will take a dislike to each other immediately." "I know it," wisely rejoined Mollie. "When I told Tom I was going to visit Aunt Hetty I did not mention Amy's name and I don't think he knows of her existence; as for Amy, I have been with her so little since I was married that I am sure I never spoke to her of Tom." "Well,jsee that you don't do so now; you couldn't mention his name without praising ' him to the skies, and then she would see through your plans ni!J once." ' ; Mollie departed the next morning, leaving directions to distract a man if he tried to remember half of them. John did riot try; he only had a confused rec ollection of something to be done with plants, silver spoons, canary birds, etc. Jenny, the servant,wonld know all about it, he reflected. "Don't have Tom at the house when we return," was Mollie's last injunction. "Amy will bctired with the journey.and I want her to have a chance to beautify a little before she meets him." fl When they reached the depot Mollie's courage began to fail. "I'm almst sorry to go, John," she said. Suppose something would happen to you while I am awaj?" 'Nonsense, darling! Go and have a good time; and be sure to come back in two weeks and brihg Amy with you." Mollie's heart was so thoroughly in her pet plan that ehe found it very hard to refrain from all mention of her ador able brother-in-law during the two weeks that followed; once she did refer to the crazy party of four which they would make, and then was obliged to turn it off on Jenny, the little maid-of-all-work, as making the fourth. The day before Mollie was to return. Aunt Hetty fell ill. A nervous attack, she called "it, but Mollie privately pro nounced it contrariness. Aunt Hetty declared she must die if left alone with the servants, and Amy felt obliged to postpone her visit for a few days at least. Mollie could go on as she had intended, and she would follow as soon as Aunt could spare her. Thus it happened that Mollie arrived home alone. "Amy will certainly come up next week," she assured John, "but 1 could Dot wait another day; it seems an age since I went away." It was so pleasant to be at home once more, and mistress of all she surveyed; a note from Amy saying she would come on the following Saturday set her mind completely at rest. She was really sorry to hear John say one morning: "I think we had better take that run down to Camden's to-day. We must go tome time this month, and of course you MOLLIS won't want to go after your sister comes." "John, you know we can't stay away all night; I gave Jenny leave of absence until Friday, and it won't do to leave the house alone. "I'll get Tom to come and sleep here.' Mollie had no other responsible objec tion to oner after this, so she prepared to go. "There are 'three keys," said she, as they left the house. MYou can give one to Tom, and I will leave one with Mrs Gates, next door. The house might get on fire, and then it would be better to have a key handy, so that they could get into the house and bring out tho things." . ; ""Yee,sair John ,.arcasti cIly "or I might hire a squad of policemen to watch the house day and night." About eleven ociock that evening Miss Arden alighted from an express and looked about the depot as if expect one. ; They could not have received my sec ond postal, she concluded, after wait ing for nearly half an hour in the ladies room. Well, l can very easily hud their house." A hack soon deposited her in front of the pretty cottage on Lake street; all was dark, and Amy pulled the bell several times without hearing a sound within. Where could Mollie and John have erone? There was a light in th$ next house, and Amy remembered hearing her sister speak of her kind neighbor, Mrs. Gates, perhaps they were spending the evening with her, or, at auy rate, she might know of their whereabouts. Amy ran across the small grass spot that separated the two cottage $ and rung the bell. Mrs. Gates soon explained matters. "ion do look a little like Mrs. Acker man when you laugh," she said in con clusion, "I suppose it's right to let you have the key; but she wasn t looking for you till Saturday." "She probably did not receive my sec ond postal, which I mailed yesterday morning. "Well, 1 11 give you the key, of course; but are you not afraid to stay alone in house?" "Oh.I'm not all timid," laughed Amy. "But there is a gang of burglars about the city,,Lurgjed Mrs. Gates. "They've been in three houses on this street, and only last Sunday night there was a dreadful robbery on State street, and a woman nearly killed. You are welcome to come in and sleep pn our parlor sofa, if you are afraid." , "No, thank you, Amy said. "I will risk it for one night, and j-ou say John and Mollie will return to-morrow." She let herself into the deserted house not without some thrills of fear, it must be confessed. How quiet everything was. uii. li Aiome was oniy tnerei ane took a survey of the rooms, the kitchen last of all, when she concluded tc look for something to eat. Hark! what was that'? O ily the silver-toned clock strik ing the midnight hour. That woman s talk about burglars has made me nervous, 6he thought.con- tinuing her search for eatables. Hark, again! Sorely that was a key turning in a lock; then a door opened and shut quietly, and there were footsteps in the hall. Amy's small stock of courage went down to zero. What happened next? Instinctly she grasped the poker I lying on the range near her. ine next instant the door opened, and a great broad-shouldered man with blackened face and hands stepped into the -room. my felt herself growing white with fear, but she raised the poker threaten ingly; for a moment they stared at each other in silence, then the man spoke. "Who the who are your Amy tried to shriek for help, but the soundjJied away in her throat; she was too thoroughly frightened to speak or move. Presently the man came toward her. "Will you please lower the poker, or else move sway from tho sink? I would I1K6 to come mere anu wasu my nanus, he said, lookiDg very much inclined to laugh. Was ever such enrontery known be fore? Still speechless, Amy moved around toward what looked to be an out side door. "Don't glance at me in that frightful way, ho went on, witn a giance into ner terror-stricken eyes. 'I will look niore presentable when I get my face washed." Then came a hearty laugh which re assured Amy a very little. Certainly this was a most extraoidinary bnrglar,or else there was some ridiculous mistake. She would flee to Mrs. Gates's protection at all events, she thought, dropping her weapon and tugging away at ihe huge bolt -with trembling lingers. By this time the young man had fin ished his ablutions, and presented quite a different appearance. ; "1 am Mr. Ackerman s brother, he said politely; "he asked me to to remain in his house to-night, as a means of pro tection in his absence. I "Mr. Ackerman has no brother," con tradicted Amy, stoutly, i "Are you sure of that? "Certainly I am. Mrs. Ackermau has just made me a visit,! and she would have mentioned him it existed.'' such, a person Hetty?" ! "Aunt Hetty indeed." Amy was finding courage and voice fast enough now. ... J "I beg your pardon, said Tom; "but Mollie told me she was going to visit her Aunt Hetty, and you said she had been visiting you, hence the mistake. "I am Mrs. Ackerman s sister. "Strange I never heard her speak of you! However, I am sorry that I frightened you, Miss juiss Amen, and If you will allow me I will explain mat ters. I am bookkeeper at Bolton's hard ware establishment " "Yon looked more like a bootblack," interrupted Amy, ready to cry with vex ation and nerv ousness. "Or a burglar." added Tom. "Well, as I was saying, I am a bookkeeper, but there was a press of work at the foundry to-night and as they happened to be short of hands I offered to stay and as sist; this accounts for my late arrival, also for my blackened face and hands. Have you examined the photograph album?" he asked suddenly. "If you kindly do so I think you will find a very good representation of me there, which will convince you that I am on terms of intimacy here at least." He looked very much like indulging in another hearty laugh. ntretrained himself at the sight of "Aniy's, white, dis tressed face. "I am afraid I was rude," she said: "but it was quite a shock to me; I am very tired and " Tom sprang to her side, or she would hove fallen from sheer exhaustion. He helped her into the parlor, brought wine and refreshments from Mollie's gener ous store-room, and they were soon talking matters over quite calmly. It was after two o'clock when Tom pro posed to tzo and ask Mrs. Gates to come over for the rest of the night; but Amy protested against this, saying that she was not afraid if he would remain in the house. Mollie was almost beside herself when she came home and found how affairs had gone in her absence; crying one minute over Amy's fright, laughing the next over Tom's graphic description of the same, it was some time before they settled down into auything like quiet. As the days and weeks went by, Mol lie could not determine whether certain plans of hers were to prosper or not. Tom spent all his evenings with them, but he and Amy were always on the contrary sides of every question, and they tantalized eaeh other so unmerci fully that poor i Mollie sometimes de spaired of their being friends, not to mention a nearer relation. Of one thing she was i certain; she hd never tormented her John in this ridiculous fashion. They were all together as usual, one evening, and Tom lor the hundretn time was describing Amy's appearance on" hat memorable evening when she so nearly brained him for a burglar. "And little did I suspect then, he went on soberly, "that she would ever have the privilege - of brandishing the poker over me for life. "What do you mean?" cried 'Mollie, staring first at Tom's solemn visage and then at Amy's Hushed cheeks. "Just what I said. Amv and I are going to set up housekeeping in the op posite cottage, where I suppose she will continue to flourish all sorts of murder ous weapons at me " "John, darling, it's coming about ex actly as we planned," shouted Mollie springing up m excitement. I spare the reader the congratulatory scene that followed. Tom declares that it was worse than being taken for a burglar. Well, it did come about just as Mollie desired. Mrs. Amy even made cardi nal the predominating color in her par lor and it harmonizes charmingly with the dark beauty of the mistress. The s'sters are inseparable, and as happy as two mortals can ever expect to be. Tom is something more than book keeper in the Bolton hardware business now, and he and John are talking of buying two handsome properties in the suburbs of the city. Mrs. Mollie de clares she would rather remain in the little home on Lake street, but what woman was ever proof against a nice establishment in an aristocratic neigh borhood? Not our ambitious little Mol lie I am sure. Proflts of Railroad Bui'tllii. The stockholders of the Texas West ern Narrow Gauge Kail road have re solved to bond the road at 12,000 per mile from Houston - to Presidio del Norte, a distance of 600 miles, the bonds to bear 5 per cent, interest to be issued on the completion of every ten miles. This road will run over a comparatively level and open country, and fully com pleted and equipped ought not to cost to exceed $8000 per mile. If the bonds can be sold at par, the owners will not only own the road when completed, but have some 2,000,000 or more for i their reward in supnntending the building. 8nprintending the building More than that, after the first 200 miles of the road are completed, the traffic will pay for the construction of the rest as fast as it can be carried on. The iron for rails costs 83G per ton, fish plates spikes, etc., from, $00 to & 100 per ton, so that the whole expense for roadb d.rails, ties,etc.,will not cost to exceed $3500 per mile. Tho rolling stock wll cost per haps $2000 per mile. There is no other expense except for grading, bridges, de pots and riglit of way, which through Texas will not amount to more than $2500 per mile. The road will run through a great agricultural country for miles. When we think of what the U. P. and C. P. roads are drawing from the people for their local trade alone we can form an idea of what this little road ought to do. With the road fully completed it will have to pay net only about $72,000 per annum to meet its interest account, or about one-twel th the amount per mile which these big bruisers that run through the desert are able to lay up. Building and operating railroads is a cheerful business. Salt Lake Tribune. -.. , English doctors say that plants in sleeping rooms are unhealthy. French doctors say they produce sweet slum bers. American doctors don't say auy thing about it, but charge it in the bill, f Free Press. AFTER THE OPET?A, We stood, one night, on Beacon street, Before her family mansion, While in my heart the throbs of love Were struggling for expansion ; Wo just had left the theater, Had heard "II Trovatore," And, on the doorstep, talked about The music and the story. She raved about the wondrous voice Of Sigur Canipanini, She praised his acting and his faee, While I stood like a ninny I wanted to but why explain v (i-half suspect she knew it,) I hemmed and twisted like a fool, And hadu't pluck to dQ it. t waited lon, for some excuse '" My Atupid -brain perplexing ? And then at length a silence fell, , So awkward and so vexing ; But suddenly she brightened u' This loveliest of misses "Oh, by the way, did you observe How gracefully he kisses." Boston Advertiser. A Crushed E thete. A few months ago, says the Lockport Union, the daughter of an East Lockport man who had grown comfortably well off in the small grocery line, was sent away to a "female college," and recently she arrived home for the holiday vacation. The old man was in attendance at the depot when the train arrived, with the old horse and the delivery wagon to con vey his daughter and her trunkto the house. When the train stopped, a be witching array of dry goods and a wide brimmed hat dashed from the car and flung itself into the elderly-party's arms. JVhy, you superlative pai she ex claimed. "I'm so utterly glad to see you." The old man was somewhat unnerved by the greetiLg, but he recognized the seal skin cloak in his grip as the iden tical piece of property he had paid for with the bay mare, and he sort of squat it up in his arms and planted a kiss where it would do the most good with a report that sounded above the noise of the depot. In a brief space of time the trunk and tho attendant baggage were loaded into the wagon, which was soon bumping over the hubbies home. "Pa: dear." said the young miss, sur- icj iii tuo iuaux nitu u VfftA.t.&v vj u? you consider this quite excessively "do be- yond?" "Hey?" returned the old. mah, with a puzzled air; "quite excessive beyond what?" "Oh, no, pa; you don't understand me," the daughter explained. "I mean this wagon and horse. .Do you not think they are soulful? Do you think they could be studied apart in the light of a symphony, or even a simple poem and appear as intensely utter to one on returning home as one could express?" The old man twisted uneasily in his seat and muttered something about he believed it used to be used for an 'express before he bought it to deliver pork in, but the conversation appeared to be traveling in such a lonesome direction that he pitched the horse a resounding crack on the rotunda, and the severe jolting over the frozen ground prevented further remarks. "Oh, there is that . lovely and con summate ma!" screamed the collegiate.as they drew us at the door, and presently she was lost in the embrace of a motherly woman in spectacles. "Well, Maria, aaid tho old man at the supper table, as he nipped a piece of butter off the lump with his own knife, "an' how'd you like your school?'' "Well.there, pa, you're shou I mean, I consider it.too far beyond." replied the daughter, able. The T4- . ci iinniiai.ithahla inoff. girls are so sumptuously tunning: I mean errand so intense. And then the parties, the balls, the rides oh, tho past weeks have been one sub lime harmony." "I 'spose so," nervously assented the old man, as he reached for his third cup "half full" but how about "your books readin', nrritin', grammar, rule o' three how about them ?" "Pa, don't !" exclaimed the daughter, reproachfully; "the rule of three .'gram mar ! It is French, and niusia, and painting, and the divine in art that have made my school life the boss I mean, that have rendered my school life one unbroken flow of rythmic bliss incom parably and exquisitely all but." The errocerv man anil his wife looted belple8l y at each other across the table, r' uQ OQi,l. "How do vou like the biscuit, Maria ? "They are too utter for anything," gushed the accomplished young lady, "and this plum preserves is simply a poem in itself." The old man rose abruptly from the table and wont but of the room, rubbing his head in a dazed and benumbed man ner, and the mass convention was dis solved. That night he and his wife sat alone by the stove until a late hour, and at the breakfast table the next morning he rapped smartly on the plate with the handle of his knife, and remarked: "Maria, me an' your mother have been talkin' the thing over, and we've come to the conclusion that this boardin' school business is too utterly all but too much nonsense. Mo and her consider that we haven't lived sixty odd consummate years for the purpose of. raisin a curiosity, an there's going to be a stop put to this un quenchable foolishness. Now, after you've finished eatin that poem of fried sausage an that symphony of twisted doughnut, you take an' dust upstairs in less w'an two seconds an peel off that fancy gown an put on a kaliker, an' then come down here an' help your mother wash dishes. I want it distinctly under stood that there ain't goin' to be no more rythmic foolishness in this house, so long's your superlative pa an' your lovely and consummate ma's runnin' the ranch. You hear me, Maria?" V (Jueer, Game. Draw poksr is a most fascinating yet deceiving game. One of the peculiari ties of the game is that the new begin ner. as soon as he finds that one kind of a hand beats another, and that a bluff, if successful, beats any hand, thinks he can play poker I better than any man. If he holds a big hand once and bets big on it,and scares out an old veteran, when he rakes in the money he cocks his hat on one side and 'thinks how rich he might have been if he had only learned to play poker before. ! -He wonders why every body does not ; give up business and play poker and get rich. As he counts over' the chips he 1ms won so eaai ly oy a simple display oi nerve, he says to himself, "This game is good enough for yours truly. Henceforth hard work and me will dissolve partnership." He keeps on playing. When he wins his hat is cocked on one side, and when he loses he wears it straight. At first it is on one side most of the time, then he gets to wearing it straight pretty fre quently; until he finally loses every dol lar he has got and goes out and clubs himself. Men who think they can play a pretty good game of poker find them selves in large cities, and they are not contented till they get into a game, and nine times out or ten they get so ever lastingly scooped that ther can't tell their own names until they look at them pasted on the inside of their hats. How eVer good a man plays there is - always somebody that plays better, and they are always laying for the fellow that can t play as well as they can, while the coun tryman is always laying for some one that can play better. There is no game better calculated to take the conceit out of a man than poker. We have had it taken out of us 875 worth by a coot that didn't seem to know half as much as we did. ' i ' A man has to have the conceit taken out of him about eleven times before it will stay out, but once after he has got it eradicated from his system he never again catches it. He can live then right amongst it, where all are down with it, and he will not take it, not if he knows himself. It is as if he had been vaccin ated. And very likely he has. If you have an idea you are a good poker player there is no hope for you till you get the conceit out of you, but the sooner you get it out the better. Some can get out by losing a $100, others have to lose a farm or a house and lot. In some cases it tikes years to get it out and in other cases it can be i got out in one evening, Do not delay having it taken out as long . : in: i as your system is in condition to retain the seeds of the disease, but hunt for games that you can get into till you lose enough, then call yourself a monumen tal, collossal, diabolical, enigmitacal ass, and jump the game. You will never think as I1 much of yourself as you did, but you will be worth more to society. Romance of Trospectln; ahd Mining. Prospecting and mining have their wildest, wierdest charms, and at the same time commingled melancholy and brilliant results. To-day the weary prospectors, with pick and hammer, tramps and toils in the mountains with no success following his labors, and lays down to rest by his camp-fire to dream of a golden future. To-morrow his trail is followed by another of his occupation, whose eye catches, near the camp-fire of the former, the croppings of a mineral- bearing vein, ; He stakes it, and the re sult is the Ocean Wave, one of the rich est mines in Hinsdale. Prospectors tramped over one of the largest and best defined galena lodes on Henson creek month after month, but it was left to Captain J. K. Mullin to plant a stake and create the famous Ulay. Ulay The Slumgullion section was pros pected dav , after day, for weeks, months and i years with varving re sults. . One day a prospector in search of food shot! a mountain sheep, which, tumbling down the mountain side, struck its horn against a slightly pro jecting ledge of quartz, revealing a large streak of glittering ore. He staked it, and that was the birthday of tho Belle of the West, the millionaire queen of Hillsdale. And thus we might write romantic facts like these to fill columns. Fortunes are now trampled under foot daily, now and then being brought to light by some fortunate pros pector. The prospector, as a miner, I finds thrilling pleasure in the development of his prospect.! From the honeycombed qnartz on the surface to the concentrated mineral vein, whether the distance; to this point be ten or a hundred feet, his labor is one of intense interest and ex citement. Following every blast that is made comes a critical examination with sledge and hammer of the rock blown out, for improvement in the vein. The slightest changes in mineral and quarts are noticed and discussed. For days and weeks he drives his drill, often single-handed, until he finally "strikes it rich" or abandons his claim, and with silent disappointment, and full of am bition starts out anew. Lake City Min ing Register. An unusually brilliant specimen of "red snow" was recently presented at the meeting of the San, Francisco JMicro scopical Society. It was gathered on the Wasatch mountain at an altitude of about 10,000 feet above cea level. It is now very well understood that the color of such snow is produced by a minute cellular plant which reproduces itself by rapid subdivision. That Connecticut woman who was par agraphed as havincr carried a piece of glass in her foot for , 48 years, arises to explain that it was only half a light of 14x23. She doesn't want the matter ex agger ated. jFree Press. SHORT BITS. Lengthwise plaits are stitched like tucks. . : j. w "? Pride that dines, on vanity sups on con tempt. " ' He who tells his wife news i but newly married. ;i. . . . ' V -' The scepter of Charlemange was seven feet long. ' -...... t A man is like a fog when he is "an ex treme mist.' ;?.'. -. '- - Belongs to the, floating, population Paul Boynton. t , There 'are 1000 Indians iq the ever glades 6f Florida. - - ' ' " ; Trained nurse's readily' get fronffc 13 to $20 in New York. , . , . - Over 2500 vmen .iu Utah have- more than one wife apiece. " t A child with two heads was recently born near Gadsden, Alabama; -. ' I A mind too vigorous and active serves only to consume the body. , . t , - Justice consists in doing no injury to any one; decency m giving no offense. He who has filled the measure of Lis days has only learned, how to begin to live. Great things are not accomplished by idle dreams, but by. years of patient study. i It is said that hysterical persons have a marked taste for vinegar and green fruit. - 3 About four thousand, roses are -re quired to make one pound of ottar j( roses. " ' ' They who presume most in prosperity are soonest subject to despair . in ad- Remedies are said to be known for the poison of all snakes, except that of the cobra. . , . . : A herring yields over 30.000. eggs, myriads of which are devoured by vari ous enemies. The dressy morning robe or tea gown grows in favor as an "at home recep tion toilet, i Great deeds need to be tested by their spirit. There can be no saintliness with out humility. . Chicago has the largest Hebrew popu lation of any other city of equal num bers in the world. ' -.' " ' The good that men do may be interred with their bones, but the coffins of some men are not crowded. The law can never make a man honest it can only make him very unoomforta I 1 i i -i . ble when he is dishonest. In Africa, vegetable butter is made from the fruit of the shea tree, and is of a richer taste than any made of cow's milk. Mice harm the cheese, the girls charm the he's. The same is true of their respective eating of cheese and cheating of he's. ; There is nothing so easy as to be wise for others; a species of prodigality, by the way for such wisdom is wholly wasted. Oftener ask than decide questions'. This is the way to better your knowl edge. Your ears teach you, not your tongue. The best , victories are those that are least bloody -those . that, though achieved by the hand, are managed by the head. The city, of Boston contains 41.926 dwelling houses, valued at $4,013,000. There are. besides, 73 hotels and 147 family hotels in the city. Among the largest of Australian' snakes is the boa, which sometimes. 6rowj lo eigiueen iee long, is imcs "a , DiUKB,3U "j " harmless bite. The coffee plant has the general ap-. pearance. of a cherry tree. It grows to the height of twenty or thirty feet, but ' in the course of culture is kept cut' down to five or;six feet. ' The number of bones in man, we are told, is 210. Jnst after partaking of a shad breakfast the number may be in creased to 250 if the man doesn't choke to death on the fourth bone. -fNorris-town Herald. . The total number of blast furnace and rolling mill establishments and steel' works in the United Stales was 808 in -1870, d005 in 1880. The value of mate rials used was $13C,525,132 in 1870 and $191,271,150 in 1880. At a crowded French country theater a woman fell from the gallery to the pit, and was picked up by one of the specta tors, who, hearing her groaaing, asked her if she was, much injured. "Much injured!" exclaimed the woman, "I should think I am. I have lost the be it seat in the very middle of the front . row." Son or Texa?. i "How is your son coming on?" "Oh, I am having a power of trouble with him." "What's the matter now?" "Well, you know. I couldn't send him to school, thanks to Governor Boberts, there are no free schools, and I could not afford to send him to a private school." "Yes, I know that is so." "Well, I sent him away from Galves-. ton, out on the frontier, and as luck would have it, he was convicted of horse stealing, and got five yearsjn the peni tentiary." "That was bad." - "No, it wasn't; for you see at the pen itentiary he could learn a trade and .be come a useful citizen." "Well, that's good." "No, it I isn't; for Oovernor Rob erts has pardoned him out on account of I his youth and ignorance." Galveston I News.