i . r -
ISO CENTS A WEEK.
ALBANY, OREGON. SUNDAY, UEOEMBEK J0, 1891
VOL. VII NO. 15
r
K
i
V
THE HOLIDAYS WILL SOON BE HERE
CiillUllll
Mm
resonts
6. L fetalis
Yon can't make a mistake ii yon
buy your holiday goods at Black
man's, us his stock ij lutge and
priees always the lowest. His as
sortment of plush pools, toilet
vaes, ertumcry, dainty trifles
and useful articles is worth look-
in" at.
BE H13 8PLEHPID DISPLAY.
REMOVAL!
11. J. JONES'
-:- HOOK STORK
HAS F EES REMOVED INTO
the Pipe building, opposite his
former place of business, w here
li I. as more room and a larger
stock than ever, lie invites
the public to call and M e him in
his new quarters.
SyI.ook out tor I r ih display of
Holiday good. It will he imelhing
chgant.
J. A. Cummins
1 Ins opened a he.iutiftil line of
1 loli. lay Goods, including plush
and leather albums, toilet cases
hand pntiitcd p'nques, screen",
fancy inkstand, wall pockets and
holders, onlur cases, novelties and
dainty me nacs for holiday pres
ent. I 'all catlv and make voiir
selections.
FIRST STREET,
RLIMCERG BLOCK
0.
All kinds of dry wood for sale at
reasonable prices, at the foot of
Ferry street. Leave your orders
aud have it delivered prompt''
anywhere in the citv.
A. C. sTELLMACHKR.
star as 5
for Tin.
DIMS
00
AT
Parker Bros. Bakery.
i
rimirk mime riKs
cake J. raisins,
CURrInTS, JKI.l.IK-i.
nor rolls, jams,
CRACKERS, BREAD,
CW "HiyS TEAS A CoFI EES,
FRFS1I GROCERIES.
Or auythiug else good to eat,
lemeniber you can getf.it at
reasonable rates at
I
for A
Christmas
Present,
Nothing is nicer than a box of
Julius Joseph's fine cigars, or one
of Lis elegant meerschaum or gen
uine briar pipes. A tine ns-ort-inent
of smokers articles always
on hand.
Paraaols and sun umbrellas lies
than co.-t at W. F. Read.
Latge and complete stock of
C'liristmas goods at French's jew
elry store. Big bargains.
Call and see the brilliant dis
play of I'brarv lamps ft C. K.
Rrownell's. Not one kept over
from last year but all this year's
styles .ami will be sold at the
lowest living prices.
THE WOltLll CNKIVIIKI).
The facilities of the present day
for the production of evervthina
that will conduce to the material ;
welfare and comfort of mankind :
are almost nn limited and when '
siyrun of Figs was first produced
the world was enriched w itli the on ,
ty perfect laxative known, as it is
the only remedy w hich is truly :
pleasing aud refreshing to the taste .
and prompt andeilectual tocloanse
the system gently in the Sprit.-!
time or, in fact, at any time any
the better it is known the more '
popular it lecoiiie.-. j
touejSityUare
MATTHEWS & WASHBUEH'8, ALBAHY, OEEGOB,
1891 -
KOIv THE
-Nothing is Nicer Than
I
Silverware, - Novelties.
At the Old and Established Jewelrv Store of
II. EWKRT'S.
THE HOMING MEAL
Found Satisfactory wlim I'm chasms (iroccrics at
K. K. Allen's
IN1 kct'iis a lh st- Iass
irrttccrics f all kinds: also
of fruits in season Choice talde delicacies a snec- Articles f every descriptio.
. i i i i" i. a 1 a (denned and dved. trentleman
ialy. lJeineniuer the place, rirst street, oiipositeici.thing a specialty.
ilasomc It'inple, Albany,
Uighest of all in Leavening Power.
ABSOLUTELY PURE
mi 1 1 1 a rio in.i:iti .
Scarcely a day pasoi without the
new of some larjje failure tlasliini;
over the wires the usual result of
speculation in stocks or some equally
duiigcroiiA venture. The same electric
cu relit carries to dear di.-Iaut Iriciid
the sad tidiiiL's of death of loved ones
too often the result of speculation
III patent nostrums. Moore's Kevealed
Kcuietly is no speculation but is sold
on positive guarantee. l not fail to
go to your druggist and ask for four
mo:iey if not satisfied. We known
you will go and buy another bottle,
or sale by all uruggists.
Mi.itir his,
We desire to say to our citi
litis, that for years we have been sell,
ing Ur Kind's New Discovery for
Consumption, Dr King's New Life
Pilis, Hucklen's Arniea Salve and
Kleetiie Hitters, ami Line r.evr
handled remedies that sell as, or that
have given such universal Satisfac.
f it-li. We do not hesitate to guaran
tee them "every tii.ie and we stand
ready to refund the purchase pi ice, if
sa'isTactoi y n suits ln not follow their
Use Th''se remedies have won their
greit iiopularite nu-!y on their
inerit, 1-oshay V Mason Druggists,
Tlie'liiwi Sid of
nn
mil
at
-lB92
HOLIDAYS
the Fine Pisplay f
m
t it
-
stock of staple an.l faucv
vcu;ctallcs and all kinds!
Uregon.
Latest U. S. Gov't Food Report.
Baking
Powder
I am an old man and have been
a constant sutlerer with catarrh
for the last ten years. I am en
tirely cured by the use of Fly's
Cream Balm. It is strange that so
simple a remedy will cure such a
stubborn disease. Henry Bill
ings, U. S. Tension Att'y, Wash
ington, D. C.
For eight years I have suffered
from catarrh, which effected my
eyes and hearing ; have employed
many physicians without relief.
I am do w on my second bottle of
Fly's Cream Balm, and feel confi
dent of a complete cure. Mary C.
Thompson, Cerro Gordo, 111.
The men of this vicinity need
not be jealous because their wives
tulle nn constantly about Matthews
and Washburn. Its not their gootl
looks the ladies are talking about,
it is the good nualiten of the cook
and heating stoves they sell. Every
one seems to be delighted when
they buy from M. and W.
Do not fail to have a tick'.t on
the beautiful piano to tm given
away Christmas eve by Klein I'.ros.
KpeiMV.
This is what you ought to have,
in fact, you must have it, to fully
eujoy life. Thousands are search
ing for it daily, and mourning lie
cause they f i lid it not. Thousands
upon thousands of dollars are spent
annually nv our people in tne
hoi e that they may attain this
boon. And yet it may be had by
all. We guarantee that Electric
Bitters, if used according to direc
tions and the use persisted in, will
bring you good Ingestion and oust
the (lemon lyspepsia and install
instead Eupepsy. We reconit lend
Electric Bitters for Iysepsia and
al' diseases of Liver, Stomach and
Kidneys. Sold at &Oe and $1.00
per Ix'ittle by Foshay it Mason,
I iruygists.
Hum Cure fur the Liquor ur 4iiuiii
Habit.
The East India cure for these
awful habits can be given without
the patient's kuowiedge, and is
the only known specitic for the
purpose, it is not injurious in the
least degree; manufactured by
Emerson Drug Co., San Jose, Cal.,
nd for sale at J. A. Cuminitig's
drug store only.
TO I.VOII Tf.HI'LAKS.
I)o you know that Moore's Re
vealed Remedy is the only patent
medicine in the world that docs
not contain a drop of alcohol ; thr.t
the mode of preparing it is known
only to its discoverer; that it is an
advance in the science of medicine
without a parallel in the nine
teenth century ; that its proprietoi a
oiler to forfeit $1,000 for any case
of dyspepsia it will not cure ?
Fell Dead.
These words are familiar to our
reader", as not a day passes with
out the reKrt of the sudden death
of some prominent citizens. The
explanation is "Heart Disease.'
Therefore beware if you have any
of the following symptot is: Short
Breath, l'ain in Side, Smothering
Spells, Swollen Ankles, Asthmatic
ilreathing, Weak and Hungry
Spells. Tenderness in Shoulder or
Irregular Pulse. These symptoms
mean heart disease. The most
reliable remedy is lr. Miles' New
Heart Cure, which has saved
thousands of lives. Book of
testimonials free at Stanard A
Cusiek, who also sells the New
Heart Cure.
All A
Ihom net
tle! in lla-
QUARTER
kc-r county Ore-f t"
u'on, near xnatyi n
ia now tlakerUity. pCUTIRV
man who had rincitUE.I1 I Ufl I
liciome hlcntiieil with the immiwlAA
anililevi'liipnieiit of that country. ThinnUU
man in no other than Mr. John Stewart, one
ot the wealthiest anil most influential eitizetx
in the county. In a recent letter ho hays:
"I hail been suffering from pains in my hack
will Kcncral kidney complaint for mine time,
ntiil had used many remtilies without any
hut temporary relief. 1 he pains in in) hack
hail tiet-ome so severe th-tt I wan prevented
from attcii'liiiK to my work ami could not
move w ithout the use of a cane. Hearing,
through a frferj'1, of the wonderful cures el
toit by Oreuon Kidney Tea, 1 was in jured to
try a box, anil from that v- first dose I
found instant relief, anil before u.-inv halt
the contents of the box the pains in r. y hack
entirely disappeared 1 have every f.ith in
the virtues of the Oregon Kidney Tea, and
can conscientiously recomuicnd it to my
friend. 1 would not he without it for any
thing." Oruitnn Kidney Tea cures headache, incon
tinence of urinu, brick dust sediment, burn
iiiKor painful sensation while urination, and
all atTevtions Of the kidney or urinary organ
of either sex.
A LI J ANY
feiifi Dye Works.
econd street, between Montgoin-
erv and Jefferson.
DAVID I.ANDLES.
GRAND ARMY FAIR
Sa'em Makes a Great Success in
That Line.
DEPAHTMKNT ENCAMPMENT.
Is Thai Amply Piovidd For-Falr Will
Oontinno Monday and Toeidaj -Other
Mswt-
Salem, Dec. 10. The Grand
Army fair and business carnival
which has been in progress here
all this week proved a great suc
cess. The proceeds of the affair
are to be applied to the entertain
ment of the delegates to the G. A.
U. encampment of the department
of Oregon, to be held in this city
in February next. It was decided
to continue the fair Monday and
Tuesriay. "
The Salem Grange to day elected
officers for the ensuing year and
held an otherwise interest meet
ing. R- solutions were adopted fa
voring the purchaee bv the United
States government, and assuming
the principal ownershipol the Nic
aragua canal, and advance money
on cuarantee bonds sufficient to
linisii this important work. Reso
lutions were also passed to the el
fect that all public lands of the
United States over 40C0 feet above
sea level should be withdrawn
from sale and that these moun
tains should be let to stockmen
for grazing purposes, under super
vision of the forestry board of the
agricultural department.
HEWS OF THS COAST.
Ittterteting Items From Exchange
Throughout the Northwest.
Snowdrifts six feet deep appear
in the lane between Weston and
Athena, which is said to be almost
impassable. Snow has drifted,
also, in the roads north of Pendle
ton, making travel dillicult.
Jacob Stubenbordt and J. Ii.
Kennedy bava reamn to be proud
of their goose hunting northwest
of Pendleton. They succeeded in
bagging twenty -one One fat geere
during their hunt, and are able to
produce the geese in evidence if
their success is questioned by
doubting Thomases, so says the
East Orcgonian.
The official census shows the
following increases in population
in Linn county between 1880 and
lS'.K): Brownsville precinct, SS;
city, 4 17 ; Fox Valley, 94 ; Frank
lin Butte, :I0; Liberty, 10; Or
leans, 7; Santiam, 324;Scio city,
oil; Shedd city, 300; Sweet Home,
..'Oo; Waterloo, 825; Sodaville, 0.
A decrease of 100 is given Brush
Creek ; l'4 llalsey precinct and 30
city; ::I5 Harrisburg precinct. As
seveial new precincts have been
formed, the figures may not fully
explain the situation in every case.
Fred Harris and Ed and alter
Baker while hunting on the Yam
hill in a canoe Tuesday had the
misfortune to capsize in deep
water, and two valuable guns were
lost, besides their game. They
had killed live ducks and were
reaching out for the sixth one
w hen the boat, upset, oy sinning a
log. The two guns tost were prob
ably worth $100, so says the Re
porter. John Stevens, the stage robber,
arrested for robbing the Reddii.g
tml Weaverville stage near town.
October BHli, plead guilty in the
superior court last Saturday and
was sentenced to ten years in the
penitentiary. He made a speech
tialhe court exonerating the boy,
Frank Heddinger, and stated that
he had nothing to do with the
robbery. The boy, therefore, was
turned l iose and left the town.
Redding Ex.
A reward of $50 has been offered
for the recovery of Mose Baldwin,
who is supposed to have been
drowned in the Willamette at Eu
gene. Or the G. A. R. of Eugene
w ill nav the same reward for proof
of his whereabouts if living.
Eugene Journal : A man by the
name of Morton with his wife and
two i hildren from Minnesota were
tumid out of Baker hotel about
two weeks ago, for failing to pay
boai 1. Morton started with his
fami y for the Kincaid donation
claim, saying lie intended to cut
wood. He took them to Mr. Jud
kin's place end left them, saying
he was going 20 miles up the val
ley and would return in a day or
two. He had not been heard from
at last accounts and is supposed
to have abandoned them.
A stoty of o peculiar faith is re
lated by the Eugene Journal as
follows : About three weeks ago a
family named Baker recently from
Nebraska, were found in a tent
near the Eugene mill, the father
sick, the mother almost blind, and
the children too young to take care
of themselves and in a most desti
tute condition. The people of Eu
gene put them in one of Hollis'
honacs and furnished them food.
Last Wednesday Mrs Baker, with
her liitle baby and girl about ten
years old got on the northbound
local train and started down the
valley, leaving her husbat.d in Eu
gene. She said she wanted to go
to Portland in the hope tbrt Mrs.
George H. Williams could restore
her sight. The woman and her
twolittle children, without money
or friends, ptesented a pitable
sight. Mrs, Milliron, of Junction,
wno was going nome trom kinrene
went through the car and collected
for the noor blind woman $5.75,
and Mrs. Fitch, of Eugene, went
through the car below Halsey and
collected $2.45 more, making a to
tal of $3.20. Mrs. Millhou en-
couJagad Mrs. Baker to go to Mrs.
Williams, s tying she believed she
could restate her sight. They
stopped at Oregon City, but will
perhaps go on to Portland.
RegisUrJohn I). Geoghehan. o
the Vancouver land office, gives
an opinion of interest to hundred:
of settlers in Oregon and Wash
ington. Tbt question was : "Are
settlers who rcsidu on unsurveyed
land prior to the repeal of the pre-
mpnon laws still permitted to so
hie, the land having been recently
surveyed?" Register Georghegan
writes : "I rnswer yes to the above
qvestion. Settlement is the initi
ation of pre-emption laws, and is
followed up with filing of a dcclar
atorv statement as soon as the
land" is surveyed. I am of the
opinion that the filing must be al
lowed.
Pendlo'.oa East Orefconian : A
chjeken was slaughtered for the
family table recentlv at R. L. Oli
ver's place below Pendleton. In
oressing the fowl Mrs. Oliver dis
covered in the craw two small
nuggets of gold about the size and
shape of a small nail head. Ho v
the chicken found the gold is now
the question. About a half-mile
below the place is the site of the
old Swifts station, and it is
thought possibly that some nun
ers camping near might have lost
part of their "dust," or perchance
have buried ac me of their treasuie,
to be resurrected at this late dav
by scratching fowls.
Look at G. W. Simpson's dis
play of holiday goods in bis show
window. Then step inside and see
his splendid stock of beaiuiful
goods for Christmas.
FROMCONGRESS
COMMITTER ON KILE RE
PORTS, MIKING CHANGES.
Committees Annihilated and Name
Chacgad Numbers Increased in
Several Cases.
Washington, Dec. 10. It bein
understood that theie would oe
but a short sersioii this morning.
the attendance of members was
very small.
The reiMirt of the committee on
rules was presented, empowering
the speaker to appoint committees
of the last house with the fo low
ing changes in membership of the
committees: The ways aud means
was increased from thirteen to fif
teen members. The quadro-cen-tennial
committee from nine to
eleven members. The committee
on Indian depredations claims was
dispensed with, and the name of
the committee on commerce chang
ed to committee on rules of state
and foreign commerce.
The concurrent resolution was
agreed to providing for a holiday
recess from Wednesday, the 2od
inst., until Tuesday, the 5th prox.
1 he method of designating the
chairman of any committed was
changed. In this, formerly in the
event of the death of the chairman
the second member succeeded to
the office. This was changed bv
giving the appointment of the
chairman to the speaker.
Springer, of Illinois, suggested
the designation of the quadro-cen-tennial
committee should be
changed to committee on Colum
bian exposition. 1 he suggestion
was agreed to, and the report was
then adopted.
Enloc, of Tennesee, offered a
resolution for the nppointment of
a special committee of five mem
bers to induire into the charges
made against the administration
of his ollice ; referred to the com
mittee on rules.
Chipman, of Michizan.announc-
ad the death of his colleague, Mel
bourne' II. Ford, and inrespect to
the memory of deceased the houee
adjourned until Wednesday with
the understanding that on that
day no business would be trans
acted except that referring to the
recess resolution and to the an
nouncement of committees by the
speaker.
PLl'CKT BOf
Haves Ilia Employers (leins by
IllxAotlvlty.
San Francisco, lec. 10. Jesi-e
Waterman, a young mai employed
by Schussler Bros., wholesale jew
elers, was robbed of a box contain
ing $20,0'K) worth of loose diamonds
and other precious stones this
morning, but the thieves failed to
get away with the gems. Water
man had returned Irom the safe
deposit vaults where the jewe's
have been kept over night, and as
he was ascending the stairs to the
firm's place of business, on Kear
ney street, lie was knocked down
by a rough looking young fellow,
who seized the tinbox which the
boy was carrying, and ran hastily
down the street accompanied by a
companion who had apparently
acted the part of a lookout. The
boy's cries attracted attention, and
he was joined in the pursuit by a
young man named Andrews. Ti.c
thieves, finding themselves hard
pressed, finally threw the b x into
the strtet and made good their escape.
SLAVE TRADE
It Is Still In Full Vogue In
Places,
BKKKDINU CIIILIIltEN TO-
Civilized Nations Ara to Combine to Mak
an End of It Morocco Oae of the
Lead ri In lu Perpetuation.
Paris, Dhc. It). A blockade of
the coast of Morocco is within the
probabilities of the near future.
Should that fail to secure the ends
aimed at, nn expedition to the in
terior of Muley Hassan's dominions
may follow. Negotiations have
been begun with one or the other
of these objects in view, by the
powers which signed the anti
slavery protocol of the Brussels
conference. According to the re
ports of the French and Spanish
ministers at Tangiers, Muley Has
san has repudiated his own in
dorsement of the Brussels agree
ment by authorizing the sale of
negroes in his empire. Moreover.,,
it has been discovered t'lat the
sultan 'of Moiocco has" counten
anced the foundation of a settle
ment at Marakisch. one of the im
perial residences, in which the
male and female slaves brought
from the interior are compelled to
marry in order that the children
born of these unl oly union-3 may
be sold for the sultan's benelit.
Europe cannot tolerate so gross a
violation of ils decisions, and all
the signatory iowers seem virtu
ally in accord as to the
necessity of an expedition.
hotild the contemplated expedi
i ion he ordered, France will take
advantage of the opportunity of
settling the issues relating to
Totiat with Muley Hassan. At
present the sultan occupies the
Tonat territory illegally. It is on
the direct route ot the slave cara
vans. Fiance now lias an excel
lent pietext afforded her for set
tling the Oran frontier question ;
and we may be sure ih . will male
the most ol it,
SLAVEUY'9 HOKKOH9.
Hundreds of African Knlrf by
Arab llrivers.
Coi.oosr., D.-e. l'J. At a meet
ing of ihe Africa socidv here
to-day, Canon Kespes read ex
tracts from the diaries of African
missionaries, w hi. h told of revolt
ing cruiliy in connection with
slave huntit g in the neighborhood
'-.f Lake Tanganyika. One of the
(statements lead was as follows:
The notorious slave hunter. Ma
katubo, brought hack 2000 natives
as the result of hi-j last expe lition
to Karema. The wretched people
were chained in batches of a score.
Tnev were like living skeletons.
While the caravan was traversing
the Kirando country, where tiiere
was a famine, the marching slaves
were obliged through hunger to
dig up ani eat the roots w Inch the
animals refused to eat.
Hundreds died of hunger, fever
ordjseuteiy. A large number of
women and children, wlio3e weak
ness impeded the march, were
drowned. The lagirards through
illness were killed with cudgels at
the rate of ten to lifty daily. At
night thev were sheltered in roof
less huts, while the g:?a's taken
along w ere kept in covered stables.
Every morning the homes ot
those who died during the night
were dragged out and thrown to
the hyenas which followed the
camp. Many poor creatures wore
covered with burns and eores, the
result of punishment in meted.
Similar arc Mints were given ol
cruel practices by other siavc-
hunters. tin missionaries ran
som the slaves, placing the sick in
hospitals, whenever possible.
KUUBEKY OF A TOM II.
Corpse of Titled Ueruiuna lie-
spoiled tiy Thieves.
Bi;i:lix, Dec. 10. A remarkable
story of the robbery of a tomb
reached here t day from Sa'.burg
I ho Princess biarhemberg recent
ly died there and her remains were
taken to Aferding, where a church
baa been built ovei the family
vault. None of the Starhembercs
having died for the past fifteen
years the vault had not recently
been entered, and on going in the
sexton tumbled over a skeleton
that waslyingon the floor.
On examination he discovered
that thieves had been theie before
him. broken open the cotlins, stol
en swords and ppurs of deceased
male members ot the family, and
di spoiled ladies' dresses of lace
and gold,triminings. A large heap
of skeletons were piled together in
one corner to get ;hem out of the
way.
lieiai tmout of Agriculture' Grata
Iteport.
The report of the department of
agriculture, w hich has just teen
ssued, contains about the clearest
concep' ion of the grain market ap-
ptaringof some time. 'Ihe eecre-
t.iry says: As regards prices,
the position is very encouraging.
It has mquentiy happened m the
past that prices would be high
when the production was short.
hut this year we have a rare and
fortunate coincidence of crops of
exceptional dimensions and good
prices for the same. The crops
are so large and are coming to
market in such enormous voluma
that the railroads cannot find
facilities for handling the traffic.
An unprecedented car shortagt'
exists, and the roads have bean
obliged to issue notice that so
more grain can be received until
that already in the cars has been
moved and unloaded, an actual
blockade existing at the leading
grain centers. Fortunately, too,
our largn surpluses are all needed,
for ne; ry every day bring! re
ports of famine from some quarter.
One day it is from Mexico, another
from India, a third from still
another part of the world, showing
that Russia and Europe are not
alone in suffering from deficient
harvests. It is this need for all
the grain that gives to the farmer
such statisfactory prices at a time
when his productions are so large.
Really, the situation to the pro
ducer is full of hope an encourage
ment." The department" re
ports the average price of wheat
on the farm (taking the country
as a whole) as 86.3 cents per
bushel, and says that this ia 2
cents per bushel higher than the
average of the ten years from 1880,
and has been exceeded only onre
since 1883, namely, in 1888. The
average for corn ia figured at 42.2
cents, and it is stated that sine
1H83 Hie value has been higher
only in 1837 and in 1890 in both ol ,
which yea re the crops were very
small. The price of oats is 32J2
cents p?r bushel ; but once since
1883, we are told, has the figure
been high as this, and the average
is 1.3 cents per bushel in excess of
that for ten years from 1880.
If you would make your wile a
Christinas present that she will
appreciate, secure for her a pair of
beautiful slippers. At Klein Bros.'
you will find an endless variety.
The finest line of handkerchief
ever brought to Albany can oe
seen at the Ladies Bazaar. Ail
prices, from five cents upwards.
BLAINE IS IN IT
A r LEAST THAT 19 WHAT MON
TANA PEOPLE THINK.
Their Delegates Will Be InatracU4
That Way Thai Output of the)
Mine.
New York, Dec. .19. E. L.
lionney, one of the millionaires of
Montana, came to New York Mon
day, fie left Montana ten days,
ago, he said, but had been caught
iu the blizzard which struck Da
kota last week and given a taste of
a inter weather, which had can d ,
a delav of some days. "What
will the mining output of Montana
aggregate this year?" Mr. Bonney
was asked. "It will be somewhat
greater this year than last," he
paid, "and it was in round numbers
$44,000,000 last year. A small per
centage of the aggregate out
put will be gold. Silver, copper
and lead are the principal ore."
With reference to political affaire,
Mr. Bonney said that, except
among officeholders or offlceeeek
ers, there was little disposition te '
discuss political affairs of any sort.
The republicans were confident
that Montana was a republican
state. The fact that Congressman
Carter had been defeated at the
polls last year was due to overcon
Gdence on the part of his friend.
"Is the state for Blaine?" Mr.
Bonney was asked. "I think o,
w ithout a question," he replied.
IilHOKOCS DRIFT.
All men are not homeless, but
some men are home lee than
others. Texas Sittings.
"Pop, is it true that the word
'Adam' means earth?" "So they
eay my son." "Then, the original
man's name was Mud.
Haberdasher Yes, sir; what do '
you wish? Hoffman Howe I
want a dozen of those turndown
collars that stand up higher than
the staadup collars.
Why did that Frenchman de
mand your blood anyhow?" 'Oh,
1 was joking with him.' I said
that inasmuch a Sedan was re
sponsible tor the overthrow of ihe
French empire, the presidential
chair should be a Sedan-chair.
He got awfully hot.
Mrs. Bingo (after the ball) I
liked that gentleman so much that
you saw me talking with tonight. '"
He said that it was all nonsense
t hat ladies should take cold in dec- ..
ollete dresses. Bingo You know
who he is, don't you? Mr. Bin
goWhy, no. Who is he? Binjr ,
He is the owner of one of th
largest drugstore in town. Cleak
Review,
Saloon-keeper (to tough eato
iner) We dott't give credit-here,
my friend. You have mad a mis
take in the shop. Tough old cu- "
tomer S'loori ain't it? "Y.' -(
With great digdity ) "Than
right? Know 'xactly where I am,
shir! Hain't made no mistake.
G'moruin', shir." Chicago Trib
une. "What caused the real estate
agent to commit suicide?" "WU
you see, it was this way- A couple ':
ai p i d to him to rent a house .
which he had to let. Having at- .
i efied himself that they had no
children- for he wouldn't have
any children in his house He
gave thm a five years' lease of it".
"Well?" "Well, the couple had
hardiy moved in and got settled
before. the lady had trlpleta."
I New York Frets.
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