A D V E R T IS E R S
THE W E S T
(«i ¿
ttblouiNi 1^
i d atr (M liu
TM mi I m w ,„
ueaud
»out thra«W||
n o t rom upa
pan« Tabuin,
) n o oovuMI
n u rsin g ny i
M A R G U E R IT E , G
STEAM ER
o
___T. T..Geer.
. . ,F. J. P untar.
. . . F. S. Moore.
J. 11. A,ckerman
. .W . H . Leeds.
;. N. JJlnckburn
. . . . R. S. Bean
. . . F. A. Moore
. E . Wolverton
I. W . Ham ilton
Geo. }1. Brown
tate Prii
ttoruey
I f y ■•▼•n-i
su ffe r e d w b
hU h ead , t
an d com plu;
sto m a c h . Ha
• a t lik e oh If
a g e d o and*
‘
did e a t did
I
w it h h im . I
and o f a sal
e t e s tim o n ia ls 1
I th e m . R lp a a s '
u n llj c u red m y-
d isa p p e a r ed , boi
ho n e v e r c om p ii
red, chubby-faeej
ttr lb u to t o Ripai
»y w ill b en efit an]
U ta k e n accordi»
comi Utiattrici
tig A t t o r n e y
. R. Kincaid.
..........J. R. Hill
R EG U LAR
D A IL Y
T R IP S
i ó
=
.T
ird o l Trustees
S T E A M E R L IL L IA N
M AK ES D A IL Y
From
Mapleton
T R IT S
to
Florence
L e a v e s M a p le t o n a t 7 A . M.
I /t a v e s F lo r e n c e ,» ! 2 P . M.
O n S U N D A Y S l e a v e s M a p le t o n a t 8 A
a n d F lo r e n c e a t 3 l \ M,
I N
E
R
F . A 'A . M. i F lo r e n c e L o d g e N o. 107.
Regular s o in i u a u i c a ti o n o n se c n a -l
—-< r t n d (onrttSM brilays <n e a c h m o n t h .
.
E. W . C o b b , W. M.
'
Sundays.
Extra Trips When Necessary
Charges Reasonable.
;
P roprietor.
Stage leav es' E ugene for F lo r
ence d a ily except S u n d ay a t 6 a. in.
A rriv e s a t F lo ren ce th e day fol
low ing a t 10 a. m.
R e tu rn in g stage leaves F lorence
for F n * « n e d a ily except S unday a t
a t 2 p. in. A rriv es in E ugene a t C
p. in. th e day following.
I f you don’t w a n t
yo u r hair to die use
A y e r’ s H a i r V i g o r
once a day. I t makes
the hair grow, stops
falling, and cures dan
druff.
I t always restores
color to gray or faded
h a ir; it never fails.
$ 1 . 0 0 • b o t t l e . A ll d r u g g i s t s .
“ O n e b o t t lo o f A y e r ’s H a ir V i g o r
• t o p p e d in y h a ir fr o m f u ll in g o u t .
a n d s t a r t e d i t t o g r o w a g a i n n i c e l y . ’*
J u lies W it t ,
M a r c h 2 8 ,1 8 9 9,
Ca n o v a , S . D a k .
NOTARIES,
“ A y e r ’s H a ir V ig o r c o m p le t e l y
c u r e d m e f r o m d a n d r u ff, w i t h w h i c h
I w a s g r e a tly a ® ic t e d . T h e g r o w t h o f
m y h a ir s in c e i t s u s e h a s b e e n s o m e
t h in g w o n d e r f u l .”
Notary Pub ic,Surveyor
LKNAO.Onr.EXE,
A p r il 13,1899.______N ew Y ’o r k . N .Y .
I f yo u do n o t o b tain a ll tlio B enefits
yo u o x p e c te d fro m th e u se o f th e H air
V igor, w r ite th e D octor a b o u t It.
D u . J . C. A Y E R , L ow ell, M ass.
U . W .
M o m b e r s a n d v is itin g
Lbretbrea in good s t a n d i n g a r e c o r d ia lly
a n iK n v ito d to attend. A. O. E u s k z , M. W
I . G. K notts , R e c o r d e r .
111011U4.
O. O. F . H a c e t a L o d g e N<>. 111, m e e ts
L every W ednesday e v e n i n g in l,o d g e
— —»"Hsll. Florence, O re g o n .
B r o th e r s in
gsoA^mmiK iitvited to attend.
E. A. E v a n s , N. G.
0 . O. F.
1 • every
MARION
P u llm a n
S le e p in g
C ars
MORRIS.
NOTARY
PUBLIC.
TONSOR1AL - PARLOR
FLORENCE. - -
-
M A R I.'N
OREGON
S le e p in g
M a p le L o d g e N o .. 13!». m e e ts
C a rs
^
and N O T A R Y PU B L IO ,
M IN N E A P O L IS
MAPLETON.
DULUTH
-
F ront
g r a n d fo rks
(J. F. Tret>" E i i e : i i i i | o n e t i l , N o . 42.
• ineem In Lit) o F. b a d in F lo re n c e
iheeecojifd and f o u rth F in la y of each
inonth. Members of t h i s d e g re e a r e
cordially inviterl t" HU 'J .
F. C. P s il , Scribe.
0 . O . F .—
k y m o v k
,
Sunset Rebekah Lodge No.
1 ■ 114. meets n Odd Fellows' hall,
Florence. IbeSMeoud a n d f o u rth T h u r s
" n.
b.
B k VND,
K A T IJikH IN E
HELENA
C . I’ .
_________________
day »«fliteSS>
W IN N IP E G
<’ •
A . J |t ) . ean Wave Gamp No.
D meats each alternate Salurilay
in Galea' Hall, Acme. \ ¡siting
are invited Io attend.
_
o>
G ko . G. P k il , V. G.
HMMux, Uierk.
Savings Bank!
Of E u gen e, Oregon
THROUGH TICKETS
C H IC A G O
W A S H IN G T O N
P H IL A D E L P H IA
NEW
). O. F .- M gnon Lodge S o . 105,
Rebekah Decree, meets in Meyer A
tRUbRHM^’h'T'tOH, the 1st and 3rd
M a y bvaungs i l l each month.
M a t t ie G. H i d so n , N . t , .
. F. C. B«AN, Sec.
* 2
a*"1
BUTTE
G e n e ra l B a n k in g B u s in e s s
YORK
BO STO N
AND
Transacts;!
ALL
P O I N T S E A S T » » ‘1 S O U T H
F or i n fo r m a tio n , t im e card », m a p » a n d t ic k e t s
Terms
U n it e d S t n t e » a n d f o r e ig n c o u n t r ie s .
I n te r e s t a llo w e d o n
R. M c M u r p h e y ,
G en era l A g e n t.
on Favorable
D r a f t s I s s u e d o n the- p r i n c ip a l c i t i e s o f t h e
e t c . , c a l l <»n o r w r it e
D em and
C e r t if ic a t e »
R o o m s 2 a n d 4, S h e l t o n B lo c k ,
C o lle c tio n s r e c e iv e o u r p ro m p t a t te n t io n .
C it y a n d C o u n t y W a r r a n ts b o u g h t .
A D CHARLTO N,
A s s ista n t G en era l P a sse n g e r A g e n t,
2fi5 M o r r is o n S t ., flîo t., 8 d .
I * o r tla n d , O r.
W . E. BROW N,
P r e s id e n t .
F . W . O SBU RN,
C a s h ie r .
D . A . P A IN E ,
V ic e P r e s i d e n t .
W . BROW N.
A s s ' t C a s h ie r .
ATTORNEYS
G. WOODCOCK,
iS«xx»,
-
W’E A T H E R S O N ,
JOHN 0 . BECK,
P t. Terrace, Oregon
Attorney a t Law,
Florence, Oregon
O regon
* > & o o t n . T . n ' t s M o l a j e n ’s H u l h l i n s
« I v e i i t o c e l l e e l l o i . 3 m id p r o
C . H. H O L D E N ,
Florence Real Estate Agency
Y — A T — L iA ." W
L and C o M j r is s m x x n .
PO X M 4T B
JM
an d U . 8.
h o u g h * s o l' l a n d e g C h a iifc r i.
g iv e n t W J S «
of th e J Í Í M
I “ A u “' v í a ®
it e s o l ' “L.
j
u g to n TetCj,
o r th
ih .
•e h e r
• ,,f
s" '1,
Ì"
Do You W a n t a H om e in W e s te rn O rego n
«r landa a s p e c ia l t y .
M . T R A V IS ,
Come to F lo ren ce an d see th e fine farm s
an d beautiful forest« iu th e Biuidaw valley.
tv * a t ’ Law
io n
e \o . ni*
f to ’T J iS ä
« b le ferii« j a i
1
•1 I « " '1
office »I
i
S a tiir iis i v
M .
lesser:
„ ■ ,
<
g iv e n
t . c o lle c tio n s
E n g e n . Loan
;
:
and
A S a v in g s
Oregon
Oregon.
-three
M ile s W e s t
W a n t Tim ber Lands?
G reat (trtndm utlw r jo w n e .l in allk. w ith h igh
h e e le d slipper», d a in ty la ce .
S at t h e r e , w h ile a s m ile of pleasu re lig h t e d up
her fuir y o u n g fa ce ;
F rom w t t h o o t th e roee s c e n t lin gers, d r iftin g on
th e sum m er breeze.
W h ile sh e p la y s w ith fairy Angers a ll t h e old tim e
tnelodita.
And th e l it t l e sp in e t w a its her p a tie n tly th ese
lo n g , Jonff years.
T ill i t s m e llo w v o ice is broken, harsh, and has th e
sound of tears.
Y e t i t seem s th e su nbeam s s tr a y in g , flick’r in g on
i t s y e llo w e d key».
And her fairy fingers p la y in g a ll th e old tim e
m e lo d ie s !
— Mary S m all W agner In O p tim ist.
A CASE OF LAW
T h e D e c isio n T h a t W a s R e n d e r e d
n I la .o A o S o J o in o n .
by
L aw is a complicated thing, and
some of Its decisions seem not to be
founded In equity.
Probably most
readers will pass that criticism upon
the case recorded below:
Basutoland, tc !”g broken and moun
tainous, was until recently the resort
of lions, leopards and other wild ani
mals. Now, however, the hillsides
which were once the resort of these
savage creatures are the pasture
grounds of tens of thousands of cattle.
Nearly all dangerous aulm sls have
been driven awuy from Basutoland,
but not long ngu — leopard appeared
on the outskirts of a village. The
animal soon became as badly frighten
ed as the villagers and sought safety
In flight.
The next morning tho Inhabitants
turned out for u hunt. One of the
hunters w as climbing a steep rock
when he suddenly found him self face
to face with the leopard, whose re
treat w as cut oft by the rock Itself.
Neither the tnan nor the animal could
escape the encounter.
The dilemma w as an awkward one,
for the climber w as unarmed. Realiz
ing his danger, he put forth his bands
and In desperation caught bold of the
leopard on each side of Its Jaw, hold
ing It at arm's length nnd calling for
help. The leopard clawed and tore his
captor, but the man held on till help
arrived, nnd the lieast w as speared.
Now came a question of law. By
Basuto law the skin belonged to the
chief, who must reward one of three
claluiants-Telther the man who speared
the leopard or the man who held It so
that It was possible to spear It or the
man who, being warned by the bark
ing of bis dog, first discovered tbe
animal In tbe village.
The Basuto Solomon decided fho
case as follows: The man who speared
It could uot have done so but for tho
man who held It, and the mnu who
held It could not have known of Its
existence If the dog had not first
warned the village; therefore the credit
for the killing belonged to the dog,
whose owner was entitled to the re
ward.—Youth’s Companion.
V o w S h e H a te « H im .
young man und a young woman
lean over the front gate. They are lov
ers. It Is moonlight, l i e Is louth to
leave, s s the parting Is the last. He Is
nhout to go awuy. She Is reluctant to
see him depart. They sw ing on the
'
C A T H A R T IC
gate.
“I'll never forget you,” he snys, “and
If death should claim me my last
thought will be of you.”
“I'll he true to you,” she sobs. ‘‘I’ll
never see anybody else or love them as
long ns I live.”
They part.
P ln s r a n t. Palatab ls».
T a a te G o n d ., Do
G ood, N c v - r h c k e n . W e a k e n . o r G rln e. Jûc. 2©c, Mc.
Six years later he returns. IP s sw eet
... CURE C O N STIPATION. ...
heart o f former years lias married.
B tcrlloff Bcm r4v Cu«>R«y, C h l e f , W ©w<m l.
T©rk.
They meet at a party. She has changed
1 g iiftra n teed b y a l l a m i
greatly. Between the dances the rec
C V H E T o u a cc o H a b it.
ognition takes place.
“Let me see,” she muses, with her
J) r . c . I f . T . A twood .
D r . A. G. A twood . fan beating a tattoo on her pretty band,
“w as It you or your brother who wns
P H Y S IC IA N & D E N T IS T .
my old sweetheart?"
M o tto : K in d t r e a t m e n t , p r o m p t n t t e n t i o n ,
“Really I don't know,” he says.
g o o d w ork.
’’Probably my father.” — Loudon An
Diseases of Women a 3p?cialty.
swers.
<aff“ W a tc h t h e W, t fo r T r ip s I )
-X»l
R a n g In Ifa T h ir d C e n f n r r .
Eugene,
:
Oregon.
The bell on historic old St. John's
church, In Richmond, where Patrick
M l
TOBACCO SPIT Henry made bis famous speech prior to
and S M O K E the American Revolution, rang In the
i
i.,.,.— Your L ifeaw ayt tw entieth century. This bell Is thus
Y o u c a n tw c u r e d o f a n y fo r m o f t o b a c c o u a iu g
given the distinction of being the only
e a s i l y , be tu r tle w e l l, s tr o n g , m a g n e t ic , f u ll o f
n e w l if e s m l v ig o r b y t a k i n g t t O ~ T O ~ B A O f one In this country, with the posotbla
th a t lu s k c a w e a k m en s tr o n g
M a n y g a in
exception of that on old Liberty hall, In
t e n t e n t , id s in t e n d a y s . O y e r R O O , O O O
c u r e d . A ll d r u g g is t s . C u re g u e r n n t e e d . B o o k Philadelphia, that has rung In three
le t e n d a d v ic e B R K E .
A d d ress S T E R L IN G
centuries. Old St. John’s l>ell hns an
R E M E D Y C O ., C h ic a g o o r N e w Y o r k .
«7
Interesting history. Many yenrs ago.
when the old structure for which It
w as ninde was repaired, the bell wns
removed and sold. Later Its last own
V IN C E N T & C O .,
er presented It to tbe Virginia Historic
al society, by which It w as restored to
the church.—New Orleans Tlmes-Dem-
ocraL
I
J
I
DRU G G ISTS
E u g en e , Oregon-
Dyspepsia Cure
WE BUY AND SELL fi LL KINDS OF REAL ESTATE
ON COMMISSION
JOHN C. BECK.
W. H. WEATHERSON
D o yo u see the l it t l e sp in et sta n d in g in th e c o r
ner there.'
G reat g ran d m oth er loved t o p la y i t w hen she was
a m aid en fair.
Su n b eam s through th e w in d ow tw in k le , flic k ’rin g
on its y e llo w e d k e y s,
am I w c a lm o st hear th e tin k le o f t h e old tim e
m elo d ie s.
“ C A H C A K E T M d o a ll c la im e d f o r th e m
a n d n r e a t r u l y w o n d e r f u l u ic d lc ln e I h a r e o f te n
w is h e d f o r a m e d ic in e p l e a s a n t t o t a k e a n d a t l a s t
h a v e f o u n d It In C a s c a r o ts . S in c e t a k i n g th e m , m y
b lood lia s b o o n p u r if ie d a n d m y c o m p le x io n liffn im
p r o v e d w o n d e r f u lly a n d I fe e l m u c h b e t t e r in o v e ry
w a y .'
M rs . S aulie i£. sellaub . L u ttr o J l. T e n n .
W a n t Unimproved Land?
W a n t Tow n Lots?
iney ôaved
By
¡tronizing it
Avne.
W a n t a Ranctf?
rairie Hotel
UCENE AND
pORENCE
IE
ROUTE.
of
D e p o s i t w h e n l e f t s ta t e d p e r io d .
EU G ENE, OREGON.
Florence,'
BAD
LOOD
EUGENE
C R O O K STO N
Street,
OREGON
FA R G O
1)
neatly
Razor Honing and S cisso rs Grind
ing a sp ecia lty .
3T . PAUL
T . J . N e e i . v , N . G .
S . .1. S
M O R R IS, P p o p b ie t o r .
S h avin g and H aireutting
and prom ptly done.
T o u ris t
Thursday evening in Meyci A
R y ls’sM o R ,M s pletoii, Oregon. Broth-
pre in good standing invited to attend.
1
amt
I ! ? ;
A. R. BUTTOLPH,
Secretary.
r u n *
ning your
f in g e r s through it?
Does i t seem d ry and
life less?
G iv e yo u r hair a
chance.
Feed it.
T h e r o o ts are n o t
dea d; they are weak
b e c a u s e t h e y are
starved— that’s a!!.
EUGENE-FLORENCE
STAGE LINE.
E. B a n g s ,
b y
9 O
Perpetua L o d g e , N o . 131,
< * W « i n t t e t s ev*ry 1 s t a n d 3d T u e s d a y s
0
D ocs
your h a ir
s p lit at
th e en d ?
Can y o u
PUH out a
• h a n d fu l
H. H. B arrett, Prop’r,
ORTHERN
Pacific, Ry
BM,
M in ts ,
D
from F lorence to San F rancisco. S in g le fare _ — _ -
o.OO.
R ound tr ip -
-
-
-
9.00.
W ill also bring up freig h t
T ic k e ts for sale a t F . B angs’
liv ery b a rn , E ug en e, and a t O. W .
F o r fu rth e r in form ation in q u ire H u r d ’s office in Florence.
........Marion Morris
- OF —
All th ro u g h freight on the stage
R. Aj. Evans,
W. H. Wortherson,
c ith e r w ay betw een E ugene an d
A. W . B E A D L E & CO.
Win. Bryntl,
M apleton, w ill be charged a t th e
L. Christensen.
22 M ark et fit.
ra te of tw o cents p er pound d u rin g
..............J . O . P h e lp s
San F rancisco, C alifornia. th e m o n th s of O ctober, N ovem ber,
...........0 , W. Hurd
D ecem ber, J a n u a r y ,
F eb ru ary ,
M arch an d A pril, and one cent per
____,G. C, Cmppton
pound d u rin g the m onths of M ay,
J u n e , J u ly , A u g u st and Septem ber.
=
’PVIA__ «
B,
R
Stage Leaves Steamboat Landing on
the Umpqua for Florence Saturdays.
Returning, Stago Leaves Florence
..........E . U . Lee
W . W . W ithers
.A. S. Patterson
. . D. P. Burtun
. W . M. Miller
. ,.C . M. Collier
G. W. Grillin
. C. II. Holden W ill c a rry freight an d passengers
Q. G. Cumplon
.899! Superint
A
• W i ll m u k c -------
H. D. F/lwards
r ty - e lf h t o o n ti v
JM) w ill b© M a t r<
nt© aad M MM | jrveyor.. . .
fltvja
—
OUNTY OFFICERS
"•riff............ .
(without ff t*M) 1« > I a u r e r . . . . . . .
>oor a n d th© ©oom
l u n - i -in « ’
NAPOLEON’S EYE
THE LITTLE OLD SPINET.
TRAVELERS’ GUIDE
TRAVELERS’ GUIDE
!AL DIRECTORY
inrev
t K
O P P O R TU N ITY
S U P P O R T IT
n g fro m hot
Irl. I could »
ear < r g o |
p la c e wt ifc
hea.lachai
sto m a ch .
R ipana T«
aunt o f m
ta k i n g tl
o f th e atoc^
fo u n d auuh,
th e ir un© »h
to U k o I ha
V
a V S L A W S ONLY P A P Z B .
Y O U R H O H E PAPER
D yspepsia, In d ig estio n , H eartburn,
F latu len ce. Sour Stom ach, Naugea.
S ick H eadache, G astralgla C ram p.and
all other resulto of Im perfect d igestion .
PrlceSOc » n f lil.
l a r a e •!« > c o n ta in .S H tim e .
nook.lliboatdr.pap.teP.MTtotr«’«
Pr.aar.S ha C. C. D.WITT a CO. Chtfag*
M >VBH A KYLK.
O ne
L ook
F rom
It E x p la in e d
P o w e r O ver M en.
R ln
In 1887, while working In London ns
n curate to the Itev. Canon Fleming, I
was colled In my vicar’s absence to ad
minister a religious service to an old
admiral In Eaton square. The admi
ral's name w as Eden. After the serv
ice was over lie took my hand and
said: “Shake hands with me, young
man. There are not many alive who
can say what 1 can say. You are talk
ing with a man who has talked to Na
poleon the Great.” “Sir,” I said, "that
Is history. May I hear more?" The
old admiral then told me that he w as
once returning with the fleet—I think
from the W est Indies, but of that I am
not sure—and touched at SL Helena.
The admiral said, “I am going up to
Longwood to pay my respects to Napo
leon, and the senior midshipman comes
with me."
“I w as the senior midshipman,” said
the old gentleman, “and so 1 went. We
waited for Napoleon In an outer room,
and you must Imagine how eagerly I
expected his entrance. The door was
thrown open at last, and In he came.
H e was short and fat and nothing very
attractive but for his eye. My word,
sir, I have never seen unythlng like It.
After speaking to the admiral he turn
ed to me, and then I understood for the
first time In my life w hat wns the
meaning of the phrase, 'A born ruler of
men.’ I had been taught to hate the
French ns I hated the devil, but when
Napoleon looked at me there was such
power and m ajesty In his look that If
be had bndc me He down that ho might
walk over me I would have done It nt
once, English middy though 1 was.
The look on Napoleon’s face was the
revelation of the man and the explana
tion of his power. Ho w as born to
command."
Such wns Admiral Eden's version to
me of an Incident which at 00 years old
or thereabout seemed to him ns fresh
ns If It had happened only the day be
fore.—Rev. John Hooker In London
Spectator.
The dial of the punch- I
ing machine won’t I 1
answer that question.
Strength depends on
nutrition. When the
. -
I
stomach and other organs of digestion
and nutrition are diseased, the body fails
to receive its full supply of nourishment
and hence grows weak. That is why no
man is stronger than his stomach.
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
cures diseases of the stomach and the
allied organs of digestion and nutrition.
The food eaten is then perfectly digested
and assimilated and the hotly it made
strong in the only possible way—by au-
trltion.
" I w a s t r o u b le ! w it h i n .l ig w t l o u for a b o u t t w o
y e a r s," w r ite s W in . B o w k e r . K«q.< o f J u lia e tta .
L a ta h C o.. I d a h o . «1 trieel d iffe r v o t d o c t o r « a m i
r e m e d ie s b u t to n o a v a il, u n t il 1 w r o t e t o too
a n d y o u told m e w h a t t o d o . 1 suffereel w it li a
p a i n 'i u in v s to m a c h m id le f t s id e a n d t h o u g h t
th a t it w o u ld k i ll m e. N o w I a m g la d t o w r it«
t il ls a n d let y o u k n o w th a t I a m a ll r ig h t. 1 c a n
d o m y w o r k n o w w ith o u t p a in a n d 1 d o n ’t h a v e
th a t tir e d f e e lin g th a t I u s e d t o h a v e . F ir e b ot
t le s o f D r. P ie r c e ’s G o ld e n M e d ic a l D ie c o r e r v
a n d t w o v ia ls o f h is 'P le a s a n t P e l l e t s ’ c u r e d
m e .”
Dr. P iero's Pleasant Pellets stimulate
the liver.
And M id I th a t m y lim b s w ars old«
And m id I th a t n»> blood « a s coid
And th a t m y k in d ly Are w as fled
And m y poor w ithered heart w as deed
And th a t I m igh t n ot tin g o( lo v a f
H ow cou ld I to th e dearest them e
That ever w arm ed a m lnatrel’a dream ,
8 0 foul, so fa lse a recreant prove?
H ow could 1 nam e Jove's eery oam a
N or wake m y harp t o n o te s of flam e«
W H E N T W O MAKE ONE
T h e T w i n s , t h e C o n f id e n t M o t h e r n n d
th e A s tu te C o n d u c to r.
“X>'ares,” demanded the Jefferson ave
nue car conductor.
The tall, thin woman handed out 8
cents for herself aud tw o youngsters.
“Three cents more, please,” reminded
the conductor.
“They are tw ins,” she explained,
“and only equal to one child.’’
The conductor scratched his bead
and tried to remember his Instructions.
Evidently he recollected nothing gov
erning twins; but, being something of
a philosopher, he pondered and said:
“T w ins are out of the ordinary, there
fore singular. Perhaps you’re right,
nnd yet you spoke of the tw ins ns
‘they.’ That’s plural,” nnd he gazed
around triumphantly.
The fat man 'odded. H e w as a bach
elor and detesteu children.
“No," spoke up the comical man; “she
Is righ t They have only one birthday
between them. If they equaled two
children, they would bnve tw o birth
days.”
“I guess that’s so,” acquiesced the
conductor. “Anyway I’ll look It up.”
“They take up tw o seats,” growled
the fat man.
The conductor paused and forgot to
hand back 6 cents change. "Bay,” nt
last be broke out, ‘‘w hat’s their
names?”
"Wilbur and Marie,” replied the
mother pertly, falling to see the Dclvet
trap she w as walking Into.
“Hubl Boy and girl, eh? Well, I’ll
have to have unother fare. You can
figure on boy tw ins equaling one boy,
but half a boy und half a girl don’t add
up.”
She paid.
“He’s a diplomat," whispered the fat
man In admiration. “He ought to be
down In tbe legislature.”—Rochester
Bost-Express.
In peace Love turns th e shepherd's re ed |
In war he m ounts th e w arrior's steed ;
In h a lls in gay a ttir e Is seen.
In h am lets d an ces on th e green.
L o r s ru les th e court, the cam p, tha
And m en b elow and aainta a b a te.
F or lo r e Is hear«!», and heaven to
Sir W alter Scott.
tow.
THEY BUILT TH E ROAD.
And
O o n ld K n e w W h e r e < • G e t t h a
R a i l « t o D o 1«.
Jay Gould once wanted to build •
short line to a certain place and found
rivals In the field. To Sylvefiter T.
Smith lie gave Imperative ordera, “Oet
out as big a force as possible, and com
plete the ntad before the other fellows
get wind of It, and we’ll head ’em off.”
Smith
reported presently. “Mr.
Gould, we can get all tbe ties, dob-
plates, holts, nuts and spikes wo want,
but we can’t get the rails.” “Tole-
graph to every mill In the country, and
pay any price,” said Gonld. “I bars
done so, and there Is no chance for a
delivery under 12 months.” “Tbs©,*
said the little wlssrd, “go somowbero
and tear up something. Wc’vs go*
to have rails.” He Indicated tb s rood
to destroy, a branch or foedsr o f tho
Union Pacific.
Smith soon had the old road t o n up
and the new one laid down. Theu
came war. Stockholders o f tbe Ualoa
Pacific learned of the euterprlas and
haled Smith to court to anawer for
teorlng up a ra.lrond that belonged to
them. To their questioning be admit
ted all and liRd no excuse but that Joy
Gould ordered him to do IL
“Who Is Jay Gould?” some asked.
“W hat hns he got to do with It?”
Up rose a young lawyer from New
York to Inform them that Mr. Gould
owned nil the bonds of the Pnloo Pa
cific roud, though not a dollar o f Its
S o m e t h in g I n a N a m e .
The advantages that full to the lot of stock, nnd that he waa absolute pro
a man whose surname occurs early In prietor of tbe feeder that Mr. Smith
an alphabetical list are well known. As bad tom up. There never w as a mors
a candidate for office upon an Austra surprised and mystified lot o f men.
lian ballot, for example, a man named They had nothing mor« to say.—Hon
Abbott has a far better chance tlinn Francisco Argonaut.
the most eminent Zwelgler. But the
SHE HAS A NEW VALISE
benefit that comes from the possession
of a short name has uot heretofore been
W h , S h e B o s i H H o « 4 , W * r , A la « .
generally recognized. Not long ago tbe
S h . W i l l M at L e a d It .
promotion of one of the auditors of
A Portland woman tells this story.
the treasury department at Washing
ton created a vacancy to which, upon a which may have a moral:
Hcveral years ago her husband mad«
formal recommendation to that effecL
her a present of a traveling bag made
the candidate having the shortest name,
of black Russia leather, handsomely
being also n competent man, was ap
mounted aud strong and serviceable.
pointed. His cblef duty la to affix bis
She had had It only a f .w days whan
signature to accounts, and as be needs
the glster-lu-law of her boarding mis
to make but six letters In signing be
tress borrowed It to take with her to
can do twice as tnueb in a day as a
tbe White moiintalniL It looked so
man whose name contains 12 letters.—
much nicer than ber own waa her
Youth's Companion.
apology. It had only been returned
a few days when a frieud whs waa
W h a t H a rt H e r.
going to take a little Journey op
Mrs. H eartless—Just to think my among the hills of Oxford county bsf*
Shopman—Thia matches your sample husband fell and broke—and broke—
ged the loan of It. and again It waa
Mrs. Blmpytlietlk—There, dear; I taken down from “tlie upper shelf.”
perfectly, madam.
beard
all
about
it.
Tbe
poor
man
broke
Customer—It certainly does.
It
Then another friend was to make •
his leg. It’s a great aflllctlou, 1 know, visit of a few weeks In MontreaL
couldn’t be closer.
Khopman—How many yards do you but—
Could she take It? She could and did.
Mrs. Heartless—Oh, I didn't mean By thia tim e the new look bad van
wish?
Customer—Ob, not any yet! You sec. thntl Yon haven’t beard the worst. He ished. and still Ito owner had bad an
this la tho very first shop P vs tried!— waa carrying my new Venetian vase occasion to carry IL
_ _
when be fell, and broke It too.—Ohio
I-ondon Fun.
One evening n favorite cousin colled.
State Journal.
He waa captain of a brig which won
H l. Tan k.
to sail for the coast a t Africa tbs neat
Ta a . p a r a t a .
George—With the a.surance o f your
day. but be himself waa going oa a
Orimaby—So you want to marry my steamer via England. Did bln eaanto
love 1 could conquer the world.
daughter,
slrl
Wbat
nre
your
princi
Grace—That will not be necessary.
hare a valise aba wouldn’t need tor
six months or so? Reluctantly tbs
All you have to do la to couqucr papa. ples? Are yon temperate?
Fledgely—Temperate! Why, I am ao trarellng hag waa produced, and that
-L o r tlo n Tit-Bits.
strict that tt gives me pain even to find waa the Inst time tbe lady saw It to*
two years, when It reached her by tto
Why should a novel writer he an ex my boots tl.h L —Pick-Me-Up.
traordinary looking animal? Because
hand of a sailor from I hr brig.
C ia n a R n . a a i b l a n e e ,
was In such a battered and fo itorn
of hla tale coming out of Ills head.—
Contractor— You won’t sell me a car condition that she consigned It to tbs
Philadelphia Ledger.
load of bricks oil credit?
w aste barrel.
In the meantime she had bought Of
Dealer—No. Mo and my brick aro
T h . man who lives for himself alono
Is apt to ne neglected by tho world at very much nlike. We're hard pressed new valise, which she dectlred to intoL
—Lcwlstou iMe.) Journal.
I
for cash.—Philadelphia Reco id.
h u ge.-C h icago News.
•h a p p in g .
B©*