gJu qp« g JMP‘
r ,
THE W E5T
Y O U R H O H E PA PER
S U P P O R T IT j
"
-4- - •»-
•»*-
-A-
á
•
È '
i
FLORENCE, OREGON, FRIDAY. JUNE 21, 1901.
1 name ns j">u^
Ira. M ary do
Iftg from
girl. I could i
car <>r go
2 place WIlfaJH
«. head:*« ’ «i4N
-, stoma
■RAL D IR E C T O R Y
Ripant Tatfl
»•¡nt of niM
t iking Ihu^
o •— Will make -----
S T A O K
rernor.................................. T. T. Geer.
R E G U L A B D A IL Y
totukn . t|ta r y of 8 ‘a te ............. J*. J. Dnnbnr.
---- Between ——
iMt oci..bjwtu»r. . . . J . . . . . . . . . . . F. S. Moore.
’j-ii'id
T R IP S
1 Hiu t« «nt^ Printer. „ (..................W . I I . Leeds.
old. You ft
i
,
.
.ruey General D. R. N . Blackburn
Ura J. B|
8. Bean
Í ................. ,R
R. . 8.
J ...............
. ............. F. A. Moore
J
) Court ¿
( ...C , E. Wolv erton
“ r '"’Te^ b Second D istrict. .J. W, Ham ilton
auifoied
bi> band. Aeuting Attorney . ^Geo. M . Brown
S T E A M E R L IL L IA N
------MAKES DAILY TRIPS-------
Frogn Mapleton
and coiupIniF5
~
b. i.—
atom&ch.
cat litro o h l f l
uro do Ui.dΠ-
CO UNTY OFFICERS-
did out
w ith him. m >
and o f a ho H
e testim onial«
tr
n
Kincaid.
1 tin in. HI pans
I .................*>. K
ually cured
.........
J.
It. Hill
disappeared, ba
ho never cenipli
H . D . Edwards
red, chubby.fm
ttribu to to
........E . U . Lee
y w illb a u e lU n n ,« .
,,r w
w i.l.o r o
to
Florence
Leaves Mapleton at 7 A. M.
Leaves Florence at 2 P. M.
On SUNDAYS leave» Mapleton at 8 A. M.
and Florence at 3 P. M.
THE STEAM ER
z .,s u r e r ........................A. 8. Patterson
is ................... D. P. Burton
1 Superintendent... .W . M . M iller
................ c . M . Collier
.witnout
.
ioor and the eoo.
yor
. ,G. W. Griflin
. C. H. Holden W ill carry freight and passengers
tí. C. Cumplun
•
X
I Ä
"
*
P
........Marion Morris
Trustees.
? 6 R £ ’
C,
í
. . . .G . C. Cumpton
ORTHERN
P a c ific , Ry.
SECRET SOCIETIES.
-
A.
Florence Lodge No. 107.
Regular soininunication on second
"
Saturdays in each month.
E. W . C obb , W . M .
B, M il l s , Secretary.
M.
A l. ° ’
EU G EN E-FLO REN CE
STAGE LINE.
E. B a n g s ,
the m o n th s o f O ctober, N ovem ber,
! D ecem ber, J a n u a ry ,
February, j
March and A pril, and one cen t per j
pound d uriug th e m ouths o f May,
J u n e, J u ly , A u g u st and Septem ber, j
N0TAFUES
MARION
Heceta Lodge No. I l l , meets
E . A. E vans , N. G.
ftp -
D in in g C ars
F L O R E N C E .- -
-
S lee p in g
D litB J
T o u ris t
ile Iyidge No., 1311. meets
lay evening in Meyer &
ipleton. Oregon. Brotli-
Indiug invited to attend.
T . J. N bbly , N . G.
Sec.
TO N SO R IA L - PARLOR.
OREGON
FRED. C. BEAN,
C a rs
“
‘
16416204
‘
M A R IO N M O RR IS, rromiETOK.
'
ÍT . PAUL
M IN N E A P O L IS
DULUTH ________
Encampment, No. 42,
and NOTARY PUBLIC,
MAPLETON.
FARG O
GRAND FOR k S
TO
O. F. hall in Florence
fourth Friday of each
leathers of this degree are
to attend.
S. J. S eymour ,
P U B L IC .
C a rs
E le g a n t
W IN NIPEG
C. r.
EUGENE
B U T TE
Front
S n m liis
l
YORK
F o r t la n d , O r.
JO H N 0 . B EC K,
F t. Terrace, Oregon.
O re g o n
W. H . WEATHERSON,
Florence, Oregon.
Florence Real Estate Agency.
LAM» COMMIISIONEB.
Do You W a n t a H o m e in W e s te rn O re g o n ?
P r a i r i e H o te l.
Com e to F loren ce and sec tb e fine farm«
and b eau tifu l forest« in th e S iu sla w v a lley .
E»Twent»-th,
-tnw iee
60 M
Miles
W est
Eugene.
1
11JC EN E A N D
.O R E N C E
E
RO UTE.
Co
etch a
ppinW
patö
rh*r<*»* i
Do You W a n t a Ranch?
Do You W a n t Unimproved Land?
Do
iney Saved
By
itro n iz ln g it.
tie
M I l
THE
L O L
17
- - -
CANDY
C A T H A R T IC
work while
Pleaaant, I’alatablo, Potent. Ta«to Ooo<l. Dp Good,
Wever Rlcken, Weaken, or Gripe. 10, 25, and B”) cents
per box. W rite for free eaiupie, and booklet on
health. Address
STK K LIXU
KK1KPT
C O1PA M T, CHICAGO ®r SFW YORK.
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
to collection« and pro-
, sold and exchanged,
i specialty.
is
laying on of hands" on his Jaw, but
WAS It was no go. He went and sat down on
the stairs and tried Christian Science,
but the sinful tooth got In an extra
jum p on him. H e prayed softly to
A n d A f t e r t h e O p e r a t io n H e S e e m e d
himself, and lie cursed lu louder tones
G re a tly -
S a rp rla e d
to
F in d
M rs .
and kicked at his own feet, but there
B o w s e r a n d t h e C a t l a t h e D e n t la t 'a
whs no panacea. By and by he wan­
O f f le e .
dered Into the sitting room and re­
[Copyright, lflOl, by C. B. Lewis]
marked that he guessed he'd go to bed
M r. Bowser had toothache. IL - had and ea<eh up his sleep. Mrs. Bowser
suspected It for two or three days, but noticed how he suffered as she acqui­
uow. after eating dinner and sittin g ! esced, but she didn't express a word of
down to his newspaper, he was dead pity. She had had eight or ten teeth
sure of It. He had gone to and fro w ith . filled or extracted, and on each and
a growling nt the roots of a certain old every occasion Mr. Bowser had rldl-
tooth. but bad shut his Jaws and tried culed her lamentations and made sport
to make himself believe It was only a of her tears. Only a month previously,
small gumboil, which would disappear when she hod had the toothache for
lu an hour or two. When asked by h is ' five mtuutes. he had heartlessly offered
oIHee boy If he didn’t have toothache, to pull It w ith a pair of fire tongs and
he warned the lad that his freshness ' had wanted to kill the nerve w ith a
would cause his discharge, and when redhot poker.
There was but little sleep for Mr.
f l y , 1 ...V-
Bowser that night. H e wanted to kick
and groan and curse, but he thought of
forctiis. H e wanted Mrs. Bowser to
get up and apply hot hops, hot salt,
vinegar, mustard or something else,
but tbe dentist seemed to be looking
at him w ith a cold, cruel glare. When
morning came, he had a lump on his
Jaw, the Orcs of desperation In bis
eyes and a scared feeling clear down
to his toes. H e couldn’t eat a mouthful
of breakfast, and ho said nothing of
going to the office. Mrs. Bowser sat
down with a good appetite and took
ten minutes louger than usual to satis­
fy It, and when she rose up she said:
“ You have got the toothache, and we
w ill go to tbe dentist.”
“It's g-gonel” be whispered In reply
AS TDE “ JUMP" STRUCK HIM n s UTTKBKD as he pointed to his Jaw.
“ We are going,’’ she curtly continued,
A OROAN.
and she put his hat on his head and
the same question was put to him by
an old man on the street car Mr. Bow- his overcoat on bis back.
H e hung on to the halltree and the
| ser had savagely answered:
"You are an old man, sir, and I re­ door, but she made reedy, and he had
spect your gray hairs, sir, but don't to follow. Unseen by either, the cat
followed at their heels, and after a
presume too far on my good nnturc.”
“But enn’t I ask If you have tooth­ w alk of two blocks they arrived a t the
dentist’s. M r. Bowser would have run
ache?” queried the old man.
“ No, sir; you can’t. You can mind away, hut Mrs. Bowser took his hand
and led him up the walk nod Into the
your own business.’’
Yes, here It was at last—a full Jewel­ house. T|»e dentist was a t home, and
ed, swell front, rubber tired case of there was an Inexorable look on his
toothache, and all the peppermint es­ face. One glance a t It satisfied Mr.
sence, cloves, cinnamon oil and other Bowser that he could expect no me cy,
remedies he had used on the sly and all but he stammered out:
“I —I was Just fooling! I haven't jot
the w hite lies lie had told Mrs. Bowser
for three days had been In vain. As any toothache.”
Get Into the cbalrl” commanded the
the “Jump” suddenly struck him he ut­
tered a groan and clnpped his hand to , dpntl««. with a murderous look Vi his
his Jnw, aud the fam ily cat walked ey®*-
'It must come out I” said Mrs. Bow­
over and sat down In front of him and
ser as unfeelingly as I f referring to a
looked her sympathy.
"W hat’s the matter w ith you?” que­ peg In a board.
ried Mrs. Bowser as sho looked up 1 M r. Bowser uttered a groan a yard
I long and feebly climbed Into the oper-
from her hook.
“N-nothlng," he replied, hoping that 1 atlng chair.
no other jum p would follow and that | “Open your mouth and bite on this
he could make a sneak for the pepper rubber I”
“I t ’s gone—all gone I”
sauce later on.
“I didn’t know but that you had the 1 “No wonder your tooth aches. Here’s
toothache,” she carelessly observed. a hole big enough for a rabbit to hide
“I f you had. I was going to nsk you I In.”
Mr. Bowser looked at Mrs. Bowser
why you didn’t have It pulled out.”
“I think I am old enough and big and tried to make her understand that
enough to know what to do when I lie wanted the cavity filled with soft
have the tootliecbe or any other ache. filling—bread crumbs or cotton or
W hat In thunder Is that old eat looking somethlng extra soft—hut she simply
at? I ’ve had enough of her around said to the dentist:
“Pull It ootl”
this house.”
“Oh, I ’ll yank It quick enough.”’ re­
Mrs. Bowser knew that act No. 2
was coming, and she had no more to plied tbo man of the forceps, and he
TOOTH PULLED
NOTHING FOR HIM.
A
;
President.
Vice President.
F .W . OSBURN,
W .W . BROWN,
Cashier.
Ass’t Cashier.
CMEMioonja 7 and 8 McLaraii’ii Building.
Elk
x
A ID U flY V C V U f»»» secretly determined to die first.
M K . n i l H c L H . He , neakwl ,nt0 tbe parlor and ultìd
E A T ’ EM LIK E C A N D Y
C . H. H O LD E N ,
ay - a t - l a w ,
BEEN
Oregon.
NO. 8.
If you haven’t a regular, lioa!thy movem ent o f the
bowels every «lay, yoii'ro III or will be. Keep your
boards opes, and bo well. Force. In tho sh n p o o f vio-
I lont physic ur )>llI poiKon, is dauirerous. Tito smooth'
1 eet, oasiebt. m ost porfect way of keeping the bowels
Interest allowed on Demand Certificates o f clear and clean is to tako
Assistant General Passenger Agent,
255 Morrison Bt., Cor., 3d.
ey a t L aw ,
. 8.
Florence,
BCÇT L
DË3
5 000
UjUUU
U U lp lU U
WOODCOCK,
(Me^I aXtantioá
* *
TO
etc., call on or write
work,
is can i
neatly
done.
ing a sp ecialty.
cean Wave Camp No.
R. M c M u r p h e y ,
' Deposit when left stated period,
each alternate Saturday
es’ H a ll, Acme. Visiting General Agent. Rooms 2 and 4, Shelton Block, i Collections receive our prompt attention,
vited to attend.
EUGENE, OREGON.
j City and County Warrants Ixrught.
G eo . G. P e il , V . C,
L in , Oierk,
A- D- C H A R L T O N ,
W. E. BROWN,
D. A. PAINE,
W
H aircu ttin g
Razor Honing and Scissors G rind­
gree, meets in Meyer &
pleton, the 1st and 3rd BO ST O N ANO ALL
Transacted on Favorable Terms
.ngs in each month.
P O IN TS E A S T »tid SO U T H
Drafts Issued on the principal cities of the
Î a t t ie O. H udson , N w G.
F op information, time card», maps and tickets United States and foreign countries.
n , Sec.
ORNEYS
and
Of Eugene, Oregon
THROUGH TICKETS
N EW
Shaving
Loan s Savings Bank
H E L E N A »lid
i
OREGON.
and p ro m p tly
CRO O K STO N
unset Rebekah Lodge No.
In Odd Fellows’ hall,
nd and fourth Thurs-
each month.
W A S H IN G T O N
ATHKRINK B r UND, N. G.
h Sec.
P H IL A D E L P H IA
in ch in o !
«
you deal re from the use of the Vigor,
write the do®tor about It. A<idreas,
DK. J. C. AYER, Lowell. Maas.
MORRIS.
NOTARY
S le e p in g
Wednesday evening in Lod^e
Brothers in
¡ted to attend.
K ; f i 0 M * S ( Oregon.
vlted
■>
Wk-Aa t t f O a o t » r .
r
If yon do not rbtaln all the benefit®
O re g o n
no«
A f te r
u s in g it
f o r tw o
or three weeks notice how
much younger you ap­
pear, ten years younger
at least.
A y e r’s H a ir Vigor also
cures dandruff, prevents
falling of the hair, makes
hair grow, and is a splen­
did hair dressing.
It cannot help but do
these things, for it’s a
hair-food. When the hair
Is well fed, it cannot help
but grow.
It makes the s c a lp
healthy and this cures
the disease that causes
dandrufF.
SI .00 a b o ld .. All drugglsta.
“ My hair was coming out badly,
but Ayar'a ltalr Vigor stopped the
falling and baa made m y hair very
thick and much darker ,n a n before.
I think there ts nothing tike It for
the hair."
C uba M. L ea S
April 2A, 1«99.
Yarrow, I. T.
N otary P a b lic , S u rv ey o r
111? \ W
D K A 1 L
GETTING
Y is o r
*
K*0TT‘,B ec0riler'_______
KB
if
P roprieto r.
S tage le a v es' E u g en e for F lor­
ence d a ily ex cep t S un day at 6 a. in.
j A rr iv es a t F lo ren ce th e day fol-
J lo w in g a t 10 a. m.
R etu rn in g stage le a v es F lorence
for F u g e n e d a ily ex c ep t S un day at
a t 2 p. m . A rrives in E u g en e at C
p. in. th e day follow in g.
F lo r
W
YEARS
A. R. BUTTOLPH,
W . Perpetua Lodge, No. 131,
every 1st and 3d Tuesdays
lO * | k . Members and visiting
n in good standing are cordially
to attend. A. O. F u n k «, M . W
, O. 0. F.
Florence
Charges Reasonable.
BE
y
Leaves
E . A. Evans,
W . H . Wertlterson,
eith er w ay betw een E u gen e and
A . W . B E A D L E & CO.
W m . Brynd,
M apleton, w ill be charged "t th e ■
L. Christensen.
22 M arket St.
rate o f tw o cen ts per pound du. in g
............J. C. Phelps
San F ran cisco, C alifornia.
............O. W . Hurd
-3
Stage
Sundays.
Extra Trips When Necessary
from F loren ce, to San F ran cisco, j s ; ng]e fare
_
_
-
5.00.
R
oun
d
trip
-
-
-
-
9,00.
W ill also bring up freigh t
T ick ets for sa le a t E . B a n g s’
liv e ry barn, E u g en e, and a t O. W .
F or further inform ation in qu ire j£urd’» office in F loren ce.
- OF —
A il through freight on the stage
CITY O F F IC E R S .
s J
the Umpqua (or Florence Saturdays.
------ AND RETURN.------
If takenaccordu'“ ----- «SB............... »V . W . W lin e r s
rty-dght eonts
iw) will be «ent
ite and at torn«
H .H . B arrett, Prop’r,
Returning,
T 'V
L o o k In
your m irror
today. Take
a last look at
y o u r g ra y
hair. Itsure-
ly may be
the la s t if
you w ant
it so ; y o u
needn’tkeep
your g r a y
hair a week longer than
you wish. There’s no ’ t
guesswork about this
it’s sure every time.
To re-
r a
s to re l A w
c o lo r to
gray hair
use—
H a i r
LJCNB3.
Stage Leaves Steamboat Landing on
Florence and Heafl of Tifle.
PublicInStrqction J. H. Ackerman
V
nUHIK
M A R G U E R IT E , G E A / F t - D U S T E r t
STEAM ER
S T A T E O F F IC E R S-
found au.
their «KO
V
TRAVELERS’ GUIDE
T R A V E L E R S ’ G U ID E.
or tt >o sto
P
O P P O R TU N ITY
e
*•
« no o
I nuralng mjg
•y and I aiat
fe c it tom e h
hna been ati'tw
W
1
t A D V E R TIS E R S
Í , SIVSLAW’S ONLY TAPER.
You W a n t Tow n Lots?
Do You W a n t Tim b er Lands?
WANTED.—Capable, reliable person In every
county to represent large company of solid
financial, reputation; $93fi salary per year, paya­
ble weekly; |3 per day absolutely sure and a ) 1
espensea; straight, bona fide, definite salary, no
commission; salary paid each Saturday and ex­
pense money advanced each week. STANDARD say,
HOUfilf "34 D earborn S t ., C hicago .
41-14
D O N ’T
TOBACCO SPIT
and S M O K E
Your Life aw ay I
You can be cured of any form of tobacco using
easily, be made well, strong, magnetic, full of
new life and vigor by taking M O -T O -B A O ,
that makes weak men strong
Many gain
ten pounds in ten days. Over B O O , O O O
cured. All druggists. Cure guaranteed. Hook*
let and advice FKER. Address fiTKHIJHG
REMEDY CO., Chicago or New York.
437
Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure
Digests what you eat.
Prop
WE BUY AND SELL ALL KINDS OF REAL E8TATE
HOTEL
ON COMMISSION.
ON - - F rop iietort.
cm , O r e g o n .
furnished with all th e !
i of the season. Give n«
1’
JOHN C. BECK.
W. H. WEATHERSON.
ItartificW I; dige»ta the food and aldi
Nature In airengtheulng and recon*
d ru ciln g the exhauated digestive or­
gans. I t lathe latestdlucovereddlgest*
ant and tonic. No other preparation
can approach It In efficiencjr. I t in*
«taotly relieves and permanently cures
Dyspepsia, Indlgentlon, Heartburn,
Flatulence, Sour Stomach, Nausea,
Sick Headache, Gaatralgla Cramp«and
all other results of imperfect digestion.
Pries90e. and 8L Largs »WeoeUlas ’ H Uf»««
Mkalislaa Book a ll atxm ldy.p aiM laaiailed trr.
P raoorse kx K. C. OaWITT A C O . C klc o o »
MBYKK A KYLE.
MR. B0W 8UR F E L T T H E B A R TH H E A V E U R
V - 7,ow»er started to vroisne
.u u got up anil walked Into the hall,
bat as soon as out of Iter sight Jio kick­
ed himself and held Ills jaw . When he
returned, lie casually remarked that
Agulnnldo hadn't been eaptnred yet
and that It was mlsbty singular Weath­
er for that lime of year, lie was do­
ing Ids best, even to smiling at the eat,
to make himself lielleve that old tooth
hadn't a hollow In It big enough to
tuck away a th-ld liean when the jum p
bit him again. Up went his hands,
and up went Ills feet, and he groaned
out n sort of death cry. The cat
chuckled, and Mrs. Bowser exclaimed:
“W hat on earth Is the matter with
you tonight? Yon act as I f you bad
the colic.”
“ I t ’s -lt's Just a slight attack of
toothache,” he replied, with a ghastly
smile; “got my big toe damp the other
rainy day, I gueaa. I t won't amount
to a row of pins, however.”
“ I f It does, you'll go to the dentlst’e
In tbe morning of course?”
“O f course. You don't suppose I ’m
the sort of man to suffer around with
tlio tpothache for six or seven yeare,
do you?”
Mr. Bowser’s voice bad no weight In
It, and hie face was pale, hut be bad
made up his mind to bluff tbe tooth­
ache and Mrs. flowser In addition.
The Idea of going to the dentist work­
ed an Ire cold streak up and down bln
tplno aud made his toes crack, and be
mode a pass, grabbed on to something,
and U r. Bowser felt the earth heave up
and the heavens to take A drop. There
were tears lu h it eyes as be handed out
his dollar and took the tooth as a sou­
venir, but be bad reached tbe sidewalk
before be was elated and ex ultant He
was also ready to give Mrs. Bowser a
setback, and when she asked how ho
felt be turned on her w ith all dignity
and replied:
“ W batl Are you and the blamed old
cat here? Wherv/ve you been? 1 had
a tiny tootbache, and as I didn’t want
It bothering around 1 bad It pulled.
Easiest thing In tbe world. I rather
like I t I f It bad been yon, now— Bnt
that's the difference between a man
and a w o m a n f
Quan.
M.
VeaAakle Ideas.
"Dear,” said tbe poet’s wife, policing
hie abstracted look, “you are Worried
about something.”
“Veer* be ejaculated.
"Tell me, what have you oa your
lulud?”
“Nothing. That’s what worries me.”
—Fblladelphla Press.
M akes
W eak
Wosnen
S tro n g .
"I suffered from fem ale weakness for five
m onths,’’ writes M iss Celle Hedrick, of
N ye, Putuam Co., W. Va. ” 1 was treated
by a good physician but he did me no good.
I wrote to D r. R . K P ierce, Buffalo,
N. Y., for advice, w hich I received, telling
me to take h is ‘ FAVORITE PRESCRIP-
TION.’ W hen I had used the m edicine a
month m y health was m uch improved. It
has continued to im prove until now I can
work at alm ost all kinds o f house-work. I
had sca icely any appetite, but it is all
right now. Have gained several pounds in
w eight, i would advise all who suffer from
chronic diseases to write to Dr. P ierce.”
H M akes
S ic k
W o m en
W eU
W a s R r a d r « • C o « » ro s s lo a .
A very small pile o l coal lay on tha
sidewalk In front of a house on A street
southeast. A correspondingly small
son of Hnm was sauntering along and.
seeing It, scented a Job. H e rang the
doorbell.
“Am dat yo’ all’» coal?" he asked
the lady at the door.
“ Yen.”
"W an t It toted In?”
“Yes.”
“ Knln’t 1 git de Job?” " . ' • ~
“ Why, you're pretty small, and then
you might charge too much. You might
ask more than I could pay.”
“How much Is yo* got?” asked tbe
small man of business. “Kin yo* raise
a dollahr*
“Oh, ray goodliest, nol"
“Seventy-five cents?”
"No; run along and don’t bother me.”
And she started to close the door.,
“Mebbe so yo’ll fflb 00 cents.”
"No, no; run along.”
“I reckons yo* all ain’t got er qua’*
tab?”
“No."
“ Ner a dime?”
“ No, not even a dime,” replied the
woman, beginning to laugh.
“ Well, how much Is yo’ got?” ques­
tioned lim n, showing his Ivories. “I
snt'uly does wanter git de Job,"
“ I ’ve got just a nickel.”
“ Well, I ’m Jus’ a-lookln fer nickel
jobs.” And lie straightway began.—
Washington Star.
A n » Ys« H e C o u lA W r i t e .
Among tbe public servants who ara
worried by foolish questions tbe euper-
Intendent of mails lu tbe postoffice gets
hie full share. One of his visitors on
a certain occasion was a man who said
to the deputy who answered Ute call
at tbe window:
“ I am going ont of town today and
w ant to get a letter to my brother, who
Is on board tbe Mnjestlc, and she la
not due until Wednesday.
I don’t
know where he w ill stay In New York
or where he w ill go from here. Can
you help me?"
“Certainly we can," said the clerk.
“ A mnllbont goes to meet the steamer,
and If you address yonr letter properly
and put domestic postage on It It will
be delivered all right.”
“But how shall I address It—where
shall I send It?"
“ Address It ’John 8mlth. passenger
on hoard Incoming steamer MaJesUc,
due In New York, Dec. 12.* T h a t will
reach him."
“No city? No nothing?”
“That's all—Just as 1 told you.”
The man thanked tlie clerk and went
away, and came back a llttlo later with
an nddressed letter In hie hand.
"Say,” he said to the clerk, “about
that letter.
I ’ve nddressed It sad
stamped It all right, but the man's
name Isn't John Smith.
Uow about
that?"—New York Tribune.
R n a a e ll a n d t h e S o lle lt o r .
I t Is said that once when the late Lord
Russoll, then 8 lr Charles, was on cir­
cuit, he became so Indignant with
every one In general and his solicitor
client In particular that I k * seised bla
large and heavy brief and smote tbo
solicitor on the head with IL
The
solicitor Indignantly collected hie pa»
pers and hurried out of court, mur­
muring that he would never brief Sir
Charles again.
Some time afterw ard a shipping
magnate came to the same solicitor
w llh a big case. “ Brief Russell.” ho
said. The solicitor sold he wee sorry,
but It was Impossible, as Russell bad
never apologised. “Then give me my
papers,” said the shipowner, “and l ’H
go to some one who wllL"
Eventually the unhappy man of law.
nol wishing to lose bis best client, had
to apologise to Sir Chnrlre Rnseetl for
leaving tbe court when aseaultodc-
Pearson's Weekly.
■ a e e o r a n t a g H e r C e o a la .
w ar
WUI
T k e r A et k a *
Ftrat Theater Patron— What a robust
and magnificent amason she ma keel |
Second Theater Patron (who knows
her)—Yea, hot she's breaking her heart
because they won’t k t her play little
hdt R rts^^W Sil'» Trlbunq, ------
■
"Ah, yesl” alglied tlie lovelorn youtKi
“ I'm passionately In love with MhM
V»n Flrkel. I wonder If I w ill a
succeed In winning her affections?”
“ W hy not?" replied Ills Cousin I
en. " I know at lenst half » dozen ot
men who bavo."-Pblladelphia P r e * .
•4 .