T
the west
|h
<j|
support IT J
G-JX u K T D H S T E I ^
Why let
a ll y o u r
n e ig h -
regular daily tkips H>
Barrett, Prop’r,
b o rs a n d
-----B etw een ■
Stage L eaves Steam boat Landing on
frie n d s
the U m pqua for Florence Saturdays.
think you
R eturning, Stage Leaves rlu ren ce
m u s t be
Sundays.
tw e n ty
E xtra Trips W hen N ecessary
S T E A M E R L I L L IA N
y e a r s
Charges R easonable.
-M A K E S D A IL Y T B I P 8 -
• b oîcer than you are ?
Yet it’s impossible to
From Mapleton to Florence
look young with the
E U G E N E -FL O R E N C E
-------- A N D R E T U R N .---------
color of 70 years in
the hair. It’s sad to
STA G E l in e .
Leaves Mapleton at 7 A. M.
see young p e r s o n s
Leaves Florence at 2 P M.
E.
B
a
n
g
s
,
P
roprietor.
On SUNDAY’S leaves M apleton at 8 A. M.
look prematurely old
Stflge leaves! E u g e n e fo r F lo r ­
and Florence at 3 P. M.
in this way. Sad be­
ence d a ily e x ce p t S u n d a y a t 6 a. m .
A r r iv e s a t F lo re n c e th e d a y fo l­
cause it’s all unneces­
lo w in g a t 10 a . m .
sa ry ; for g r a y h a i r
THE STEAM ER
R e tu r n in g stage leaves F lo re n c e
may always be re­
►
fo r F u g e n e d a ily e x ce p t S u n d a y a t 1
A C M E
s to r e d
a t 2 p. m . A n ives i n E u g e n e a t 0
STEAM ER
M A R G U E R IT E ,
O -----w i l l m ake --------
S T A O E
L IN E .
"Florera ani Heai of Tile.
O F F IC E R S
...........H . R . K incaid.
(
................. J. R . H ill
■ la tie ra
V
. . H . P . Edw ards
...............E . U . Lee
.. W . W . W ithera
■ g ............................ A . S. Patterson
_____
. . . 1). P . Burton
tool S u p e r in te n d e n t---- W . M. M iller
r v e y o r .l............................... C* M- C ollier
p. m . th e d a y fo llo w in g .
.G . W , f . r i i t i n
.. ,C . H . H olden W i l l c a rry fre ig h t a n il passengers
■ f . ........................G. C. Cum pton
from F lo re n c e to San F ran cisco . S in g le fa re
— — -
-
5.00.
R o u n d trip
-
-
-
-
9.0 0.
W i l l also b rin g u p fre ig h t
T ic k e ts fo r sale a t E . B ang s’
C IT Y O F F IC E R S .
**# w
#**
liv e r y b a rn , E u g e n e , and a t O. W .
F o r fu rth e r in fo rm irtio n in q u ire H u r d ’s office in F lo re n c e .
Marion Morris
- OF —
A l l th ro u g h fre ig h t on the stage
f E . A. Evana,
W ertherson,
e ith e r w a y b etw een E u g e n e au d
A. W . B E A D LE
&
CO.
Brynd,
M a p le to n , w ill be charged a t th e
risten sen.
22 M a r k e t St.
ra te o f tw o cents p er pou n d d u r in g
...........J . G. P help s
San F ra n c is c o , C a lifo rn ia . th e m o n th s o f O cto ber, N o v e m b e r,
...........O. W . Hurd
D ecem b er,
J a n u a ry ,
F e b ru a ry ,
M a rc h a n d A p r il, an d one cent per
. . .G . C. Cum pton
pou n d d u rin g th e m o n th s o f M a y ,
J u n e , J u ly , A u g u s t a n d Septem ber.
T J .M M S s
h eriff
<¡) is now fo r i
conomlc&l.
ts to the
at fo r five ceni
m e liquor a
N Pacific,
Florence Lodge N o. 107.
R egdlar com m unication on second
(MtOt Saturdays in each m onth .
E . W . C o b b , W . M.
B, M ills , S e c r e t a r y . __________
R
For over half a cen­
tury this has been the
standard hair prepara­
tion. It is an elegant
dressing; stops tail­
ing of the h air; makes
the hair grow ; and
cleanses th o s c a l p
from dandruff.
N O T A R IE S .
S i.00 a bottle. All druggists.
A. R. BUTTOLPH,
** I have been using Ayer's Hair
Vigor for over 20 years and I can
heattily recommend it to the public
as the best hair tonic iu ex is tone©.”
Mrs. G. L. A ldeuson ,
A p ril 94, i n n
► J
*
'»•very 1st and 3d Tuesdays
M em bers and v isitin g
" " T r . ; bretbrsn-in good sta n d in g are cord ially
!4
invited to a tten d . A. O. F unke , M . \ \
I. G. K hotts , R ecorder.
A
N
it- u M p t h -
F lo r
S
P u llm a n
MOUk
C a rs
E le g a n t
D in in g C a rs
S le e p in g
FLORENCE. - -
-
Shaving
and
H aircu ttin g
neatly
done.
Razor Honing and Scissors G rind­
5,000
H E L E N A »»d
BUTTE
G eneral B anking B usiness
T H R O U G H T IC K E T S Transacted on "Favorable Terms
TO
'.— Su nset Rebekah Lodge N o.
eets in Odd F ellow s’ hall,
e second and fourth T hars- O H IC A C O
;s in each m onth.
W A S H IN G T O N
K atherine B kund , N . G.
B eil , Sec.
P H IL A D E L P H IA
D ra ft. iw ued on the prin cip a l d tie a of the
U nited State, and foreign countrte..
Interest allowed on Demand Certificates of
Deposit when le ft stated period.
C ity and C ounty W arrants bought.
W . E. B R O W N ,
President.
tic k e t,
P . W . OSBURN.
C ashier.
Block,
ing a specialty.
*
*
F ro n t
S tre et,
*
Florence,
Oregon.
BEST FOR THE
BOWELS
C ollections receive our prompt attcn tlou.
etc., c a ll on or w rite
D . A . P A IN E ,
Vice President.
___________ _ _ _
.
thg’-----4 — t -SL
r
o st, e a s ie s t, m o st jie r fe e t w a y e l k e e p in g th e bow els
c le a r and c le a n is to ta k e
W . W . BROW N,
Aaa’t Cashier.
CANDY
C A T H A R T IC
WANTED—ACTIVE MAN f>F GOOD C H A R .V
ter Io d eliver nnd collect in Oregon, for old
established maiiufscturimr w holesale house.
<900 a year, sure pay. Honesty more than ex p eri­
ence required. Onr reference, any bunk in any
city. Enclose self addressed stamped envelope.
»eurlxirn
M anufacturers, Third Floor, 331 Dei
Chicago.
A ssistant General Passenger Agent,
'‘ a t t o r n e y s
P po pr ie t o r .
*
and prom ptly
W IN N IP E G
— Ocenn W ave Camp No.
R. M c M u r p h e y ,
eets each alternate Saturday
G a le s’ H all, Acm e. V isitin g General Agent. Rooms 2 and 4, Shelton
invited to attend.
E U G E N E , OR EG O N.
G eo . G. P eil , V . C.
A. D C H A R L T O N ,
B erlin , C lerk.
*
M
M A R I O N * M O R R IS ,
CRO O KSTO N
,F .— Mignon Lodge N o. 105, N E W Y O R K
k ah Degree, m eets in M eyer &
, M apleton, the 1st and 3rd B O R T O N A N D A L L
'enings iti each m onth.
P O IN T S E A S T »»'> S O U T H
M attie 0 . H udson , N . G.
Fnr In fo rm a tio n , tim e c .rd n , m a p , and
B
ean
,
Sec.
.
UL
*
Of Eugene, Oregon
FARGO
GRAND FO RK*
TO
OREGON
Loan -3 Savings Bank
D U L U T H _______
K ctor, Tex.
T O N S O R IA L - P A R L O R .
EUGENE
M IN N E A P O L IS
_____
you do not obtain all the benefits
I f yow
you expected
expeek from the Vl*or, write
the Doctor
.
“—*■? about
It. Address,
D a. J. O. AYER.
Lowell, Maes.
A. A. a . A
PUBLIC.
C a rs
•T . FAUL
Irene E ncam pm ent, N o. 42,
I. O .’O. E. hall in Florence
and fourth Friday of earli
M em bers of th is degree are
ly invited to attend.
8 . J. S kymoub , O. P .
Scribe.
q
M O R R IS .
NOTARY
T o u ris t
M a|de Lodge N o.. 139, m eets
hursday even in g in M eyer &
, M apleton, Oregon. B roth­
stan ding invited to atten d .
T. J. N xklv , N . G .
ps, Sec.
1
O re g o n
no«,
M A R IO N
S le e p in g
•very W
We ednesday ev en in g in Lod^e
H a .11,
ll Flore nice, O regon. Brothers in
g in v ited to atten d.
E . A. E van », N . G.
8ec.
i r
v is o r
N o tary P d b lic , S u rv ey o r
U
O. U. W- P erp etu a Lodge, N o. 131,
jr c
M
ORTHERN
3 E C R E T S O C IE T IE S .
255 M orrison St., Cor., 3d.
P o r tla n d , O r.
NO. 6.
and accom panied it w ith kicks on the
A F a b le F e r W orneau
i door, nnd after seven or eigh t m inutes
T here w as once a W om an wbe Fete
1 the druggist app ealed and Indignantly th a t her Husband staid Out too Late
HE THOUGHT HE HAD TAKEN POI- dem auded:
a t N ight. She therefore D evised »
“ W hat In thunder do you m ean by P lan to Cure him of this. H e r Plan
SON BY MISTAKE.
tryin g to kick m y door In?"
w a s to R ise Early In order to Insure
“I ’ve—I’ve taken poison!” replied Mr. his R etirin g Early.
T h e O ld M a n G ets n B ad S c a re , L o t
B ow ser a s he staggered In and sat
“ O nly In th is Way w ill he he able
W h e n H e F i n d . H im s e lf O a t o f
to g e t E nough Sleep,” she said.
D e n s e r H e E v e n s U p T h ln a s I n Il i a dow n.
“Oh, you hnve!
Couldn’t upset j H er H usband, who usnally Endeav­
Own W ay.
things any other w ay, and so you took ored to P le a se her, rose W ithout Com­
[Copyright, 1901, by C. B. Lewis.)
plaint a t S ix O'clock, but Continued
poison! W hat w a s It?”
T h e even in g had been a p leasan t one
“Laudanum !
I—I m ade a m istake. to sta y Out I-ate. Perceiving th at her
w ith the B ow sers, but Just as th ey I thought I w as taking cough sirup. P urpose w a s not Accomplished, the
w ere ready to go to bed Mr. B ow ser i D on’t d elay or I'm a dead m an!”
W om an ch an ged the Hour to Five
fe lt a touch o f sore throat and a n ­
“Probably grabbed up a bottle In th e 1 O'clock.
_ r
nounced:
! dark and guzzled aw ay.
T h at’s the I “T h e M orning H ours are the B e st fee
"I g o t m y fe e t w e t yesterd ay and j w a y w ith m ost m en. I ’ll give you a W ork,” she said, “and I understand
probably took i c M. I think I ’ll tak e a strong em etic, but I’m afraid It’s going th at th e M orning A ir possesses G reat
pretty big dose o f th at cough sirup of ! to be a close sh ave.”
Virtues."
m ine and bead it off. I suppose it's in ] T h e Idea, o f course, w a s to g e t th e
H er H usb and O bjected, but Rose a t
th e m edicine c h est on the sh elf?”
1 patient to throw the laudanum off his F ive, a s she W ished.
“Y es; I sa w It there th e other d ay,” Ltouiach, and for th e n ext h a lf hour
Still he continued to Com e In Lata.
replied Mrs. B ow ser, “b u t y o u ’ve got Mr. B ow ser w a s dosed after heroic Then the W om an fixed th e Hour ad
i m easures.
T he dru ggist finally an­ Four-thirty.
“ I have a lw a y s en joyed Seeing the
nounced th a t th e m om ent o f peril had
passed, but sen t him hom e to drink a Sun R ise.” sh e said.
“ In th a t C ase,” said her Husbaod
quart o f stron g coffee and advised that
he w alk up and dow n for a couple of decidedly, "I Shall N ot go to bed A t
hours. Mrs. B ow ser had the coffee All, since It w ould N ot bo W orth my
ready, and It w a s alm ost a hum an W hile. I w ill S tay up AU N ight and
w reck sh e gnzed at as he entered the take m y Sleep a t M y Office la the
house. Sh e hadn’t the heart to re­ Afternoon. So W e w ill have Break­
proach him for his carelessn ess, and fa st a t Three O’clock If you like."
T h is te a ch es as th at th e E arly Were*
w h en he had disposed o f th e coffee she
helped him on w ith his overcoat aud w ill Turn.—C entury.
sa w him ou t on the street. H e hadn’t
A lw a y s W l l l l n e * • O b l i < - .
paced th e len gth o f the block before he
It w a s a T ex a s tow n , and a long
fe ll In w ith an old tramp w h o w as
looking for lodgings In som e doorw ay lim bed T exan w as m aking serosa the
and w h o w a s soon Inform ed o f w hat public square tow ard the courthouse
Jiad happened. H e w a s a rough look­ w ith a revolver In his band when he
in g man, b u t he had a kind heart, and w as stopped by a man who asked:
"Are you on your w a y to th e court-
ACROSS THE LABEL RAN THE WO«D “ LAVDA- ] he took Mr. B ow ser’s arm and said:
j “A ll right, cully. I see how It Is. h o u s e f
*UM.”
“ Yes. sir; I am,” was the reply.
...
such a lot of bottle« there that you Tired w ith the turmoil of life, you
“G oing to shoot an yb od y f
’
must be careful. Better bring It up started out to commit suicide, but
“Yes, sir; Lawyer Johnson. I f *
I thought better of It after swallowing
stairs when you have found It.”
When she had gone up stairs. M r. a dose. Just my case exactly. I've hadn't been for btm, 1 shouldn't bees
Bowser brought the chest down from ! tried It six different times. Easy now, lost my cose yesterday. Yes, slrffigolng
the top shelf of the closet and looked ' old rosebud! Lean on me, and we'll to fill him full of lead.”
“ Are you In any greet hurry atient
It over. I t was not long before he i w alk up and down and damn the eyes
Itf
lighted on the celebrated “Cure a Cold ' of the world In general together.”
“No sp ecial hurry, b u t w hen I hare
In Ten Seconds," recommended to him I "G ’way—g’way from mel" M r. Bow­
■hooting on hand I lik e to get It Off tag
■lx months before by a traveling doc­ ser got up the strength to exclaim.
tor and put up by his fam ily druggist, | "Never, my conscience stricken mind a s soon a s possible.”
“O f course; buL yon sea, Lnwysv
and, elevating the bottle, he took a friend. I shall w alk w ith you, and as
hearty swig o f the contents. H e car­ we promenade you can pour your tale Johnson Is now argnlng a case tor me
ried np stairs w ith him a pleasant feel­ o f sorrow Into my ear and be sure of and won’t be through for 40 minutes.
He's going to win It for sure If net In­
ing that his cold had been knocked Into my sympathy.”
terrupted, and I f you w ill only held an
They
had
been
w
alking
fo
r
nn
hour
the middle of last week, and nothing
interrupted that feeling until he Wee and Mrs. Bowser had been dividing her for awhile you w ill do me a greet fn-
In bed and sleep stealing over him and tim e between making more coffee In vor.”
“W hy, certainly; glad yon mentioned
the kitchen and looking out of the
Mrs. Bowser said:
“I hope you made no mistake about front door when the thought struck It; no hurry about the «bootleg so aa It
her to take a look a t the bottles. There comes off today, and you can count on
that bottle."
me. Have a drink w ith yon? W ith
“H o w could I make n mistake?” be was the cough sirup, end there was tbs
the greatest of pleasure, and I f John­
laudanum, but the latter bottle had no
asked In a dreamy way.
son Is a particular friend o f yoorn I ’N
“ Easy enough. You nr? very absent- contents. In fact. It was as dry as a
shoot him as softly as I can and givs
minded. Don't yen remember e*ce boas. As there had been nothing In It to
him every show to die like • *
taking a tablespeonfnl e f sewing ma­ drink, M r. Bowser could have made no
man.”—Boston Globe.
mistake. She ran out a t once to Inform
chine oil In place e f * tonic?”
A doubt entered hla mind, and he eat him o f the facL The tram p was still
T h e tle e to l
up. T w o m ore doubts followed Ute solicitously leading him up and down
Tw o young ladies on 8L Paul i
nnd encouraging him to lir e on. Mr. went to the theater the other evenings
first, and he got out o f bed.
Bowser beard the news, took a moment and their father, thinking they had a
“W hat la It?” asked Mrs. Bowser.
“ I ’ve got to go down and see abont to digest It, and w ith a wild whoop of latchkey, went to bed at bis usual hoar,
that Infernal old bottle. 1 know It isn’t exultation be slammed the old man up and the servants all lefL Whan the In­
possible that I got hold of the wrong against a shads tree, picked np the cat dies returned, they rang the hell re­
stuff, but you've had to mix In nnd which had followed Mrs. Bowser and peatedly and beat on the door, hot get
make me wonder about IL I can al­ made a run for the house. Site follow­ Du answer. Finally they began to de­
most Imagine that I feel a strange ed him, and as the door was closed be­ spair, when a neighbor who had bean
taste la my mouth.”
hind her end several other whoops awakened by the din appeared In White
H e growled to himself aa ho pulled came to hie ears the kind hearted tour­ at his window opposite and aakad what
on bis trousers and started down stairs. ist leaned over the gate nnd muttered: was the matter.
"W hy, I was about to strike the old
The cheat was on the stand ns he had
“W e are locked out and
left IL and ns ba lighted the gas the coon for n quarter, end here he’a gone awake papa,” came the reply la i
cat rolled off the lounge sad stared at and got over It and given me the cold
“ W alt a minuta,” said the i
throw dowel Hang a man who don’t ted men on the other aide of the i
him In surprise.
“ I t was the right bottle, of course," know when he’s got • good thlngl”
“Your father has a telephone in hla
M. Q uad .
be mused, "and w hat a fool 1 was to
room, and I w ill call him up." * 0 the
central was called.
“ Give me number —
aald the
neighbor.
t
As soon as the bell sounded In the
room of the sleeping father he awake
w ith a start and ran to the 1
“H ello, w h a t la the m atter?”
“ Is that you, So-and-so?”
“ Yes; w h a t Is wanted?"
"Your d au ghters arc at the front l
tryin g to g e t In. Open the door.
nlghL"—B altim ore Sun.
A S k e lr le a .
I
A.
it w ill>
do I t» S
liv ou Ut I
C. W OODCOCK,
r
A tto rn e y a t L aw ,
F
O re g o n
Rug«
m rn o o tn - 7 and 8 M ela re n ’« B uild ing.
Sp«el*lAiteui' <i> g iv e n to c o l le c t io n au d pro-
I m U bttsiues
F.
EU
c hfo
HlbliC
W I
C. H .
A T - P O R N E Y — A T - L A W
u d U. 8. L and C ommissioner .
L IK E C A N D Y
JO H N 0 . BEC K ,
F t. Terrace, O regon.
P le a sa n t. P a la ta b le , P o te n t. Tupt .» Good, Do G ood,
N ever Klck< n, W euken, o r G ripe, 10, t». and M co o ts
per box. W rite fo r fr e e num pfc, nnd b o o k le t on
h e a lth . A ddress
*"3
W . H . W EATHEBSON,
F lorence, Oregon
STEBU5H cxsmr roxrixT, nnrAfio or «F irm «.
KEEP YOUH BLOOD CLEAN
,
HOLDEN,
,
Florence Real Estate Agency.
so u g h t, sold And exchanged.
Tlm ker tknds » «peetsliy.
Prairie Hotel.
v-three
M ile s W e s t
Eugene.
E U G E N E AND
LO R EN C E
OE
RO UTE.
M o ney Saved
WANTED.—Capable, reliable peroon In every
roiin tv to reprewfnt large com pany of «olid
financial, reputation;
nalary per year, l»«ya-
F ble
1’ w eekly; <3 per day afcKolutely sure and all
penne.-*; straight, bona flf’e, definite »alary« no
huuiMsioii; naJary paid etwli Saturday and ex-
peiiHe money ad vti need each week. STANDARD
HOUSE. 834 D earbokn 8 t ., C hicago .
41-14
i
Do You W a n t a H om e In W e s te rn O regon
D O N 'T
a n il b e a u tifu l forests in th e S iu s la w v a lle y .
s
•
Do You W ant a Ranch?
Do You W ant Unimproved Land?
Kodol
Do You W ant Town Lots?
Do You W ant Timber Lands?
Dyspepsia Cure
Digests w hat you eat.
Prop
* HOTEL,
w ith
i o f th e season,
a ll
U lv o
1 1 artificia lly digests the food aud aide
WE BUY ANO SELL ALL KINDS OF REAL ESTATE
QN COMMISSION.
»T * BOB - t P ro p rieto rs.
lo r e n p e O re g o n .
fu rn is h e d
TOBACCO SPtT
and S M O K E
Your U fe a w a y l
You can be cured o f any form of tobacco uaing
easily, lx? mada w ell, atrong, magnetic, fu ll of
new life and vigor by tak ing H U - T O -D A O ,
that make» wreak men strong
Many ^ain
ten pound* in ten day». Over 5 0 0 , 0 0 0
cured. A ll druggist». Cure guaranteed. Book­
let and advice FRRK.
Addr«»3 S T iyU JN O
REM EDY CO., C hicago or New York.
437
C o m e to F lo re n c e a n il see th e fine farm s
£ f » a t roniztng It.
ile
Ih o
us
;;
►BOWSER IN A PANIC.
T R A V E L E R S ' G U ID E
T R A V E L E R S ’ G U ID E .
A tto rn e y 'G e n e ra l D. R . N . B la c k b u rn
i ................... R . S . Bean
en
ota luorenoe C ourt \ .................F- A. Moore
with p«u,. r ' - ( . . . .G. E . W olverton
J, conallpau
ip la ln e d ut 1 <Jge 8e<x>nd D istr ict. .J . W . H am ilton
'ohiidreu^ofprosecuting A t t o r n e y .. .G eo. M. Brown
and w h .j
viSX-_____ —-----------
fnoed boy. Tl
tlpana Tabnl
t a n y o n e (!
'
FLORENCE, OREGON, FRIDAY. JU N E 7, 1901.
VOL.
erniari:»-« *•*'
X I I.
D erer rl Uv-^
lu lu a cro u d l
ih o n i gettW ’i
e u u d nick «¡HI
G E N E R A L D IR E C T O R Y
1 heard ¿SB
ab'Jlcs i - »tí J
in lu e w h o i J
tern fo r cafc
■mach. ShoXj
8 T A T E O F F IC E R S -
ich rullef
i sh e advise«
h em too, at
n d o in g so
. . . T. T. G eer.
v e rn o r .......................
aber, aud
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A D V E R T IS E R S
SHJSLAW’S ONLY PAPES.
(
O P P O R T U N IT Y J
4
YOUR H O H E PA P E R
y*W’ >
JOHN C. BECK.
W. H. WEATHERSON.
1
N atu re la strengthsulug and recon­
structing th e exhausted dlgsstive or­
gans. I t lath e latest discovered digest-
an t and tonic. N o o ther preparation
can approach I t In efficiency. It in-
stantly relieveeand perm anently cures
Dyspepsia, Indigestion, fle a rtb u rn .
Flatulence, 8our btomach, Nausea.
Sick Headache, G astralgla Cramps and
a ll other results of Im perfect digestion.
Prsaersd W
t- fc DvWlTT a CO. Cat*««»
MBVKB A KYLB.
W IT H A W IL D W HO O P O F E X U L T A T IO N .
hop out of bed and trot down here!
Here the blamed thing Is, and I f It
doesn’t say cough sirup on the label
then I ’m a”—
But it dldu’L As he held the bottlo
op to the light a picture of a skull aud
cfossboues gr-rted hla eyes, and across
the label ran the word “Laudanum.”
Mrs. Bowser heard a whoop and a
rush, and next minute Mr. Bowsic
dashed Into the room w ith the cat at
his heels.
"W hat on earth Is It?" she asked ■■
he began to gather np and pull on hla
socks and shoes.
“ I —I ’ve taken poison—laudanum!"
he gasped as bis teeth chattered and
bis eyes bulged ouL
“Then go a t ones to tbs drug store
for a remedy. H ow careless e f youl
Here Is your vesL Here’s year coat.
I f you bavs taken laudanum, you must
throw It off a t once and then drink a
lot of strong coffee.”
"Do you—you think I'm a dead
man?” he stammered aa he get Into
hla coat
"Don’t stop to ask • slugl« question,
bat fly for your life, end IT I go down
and get the coffee ready.”
It wae half past Id «Tclocfc.
M r.
Bowser hadn't waited to tie hie eboee,
put on a collar or button hla eoat and
vesL Aa he went np the street a t a
gallop sereral people «eked him where
the flr« was. aad a policeman Jemped
out from behind • trse and tried to
head h!m off. The drag store bed Jaet
cloeed, but be net the ben to rto g t'g
■ 1
"W hat Is a sk eleton? Can you tail
me, children?” asked a teacher o f het
Sunday school clss9.
T he In fant class^ looked troubled.
T heir Ideas on the su b ject w ere e f the
m ost vague description and, they seem ­
ed to think, hnrdly worth m entioning.
T he qu estion passed dow n the cla ss a l­
m ost to th e very foot, m eeting only a
blank look or a sh ak e o f the bead, until
a t la st th e sm a llest tot o f a ll ventured
a reply ;
“P leath , m ith, It ith a m an wRhant
any m eat on It.” —London A nsw ers.
-------------- -—
—
•<
n . r R la h t e e a e l a d l a " a t l e ■ .
On B a tte r A a tk o r ltr .
She—Sister Mary called today, and
■he sa y s she teleph oned to K ashem 'a
drug store yesterd ay and ask ed them
to d eliver a m easnge to me, but they
wouldn't. I’ll never deal there again.
H e —B u t, m y dear, th at's three blocks
aw ay.
B esides, I didn’t know you
d ealt there.
She—But I do. I’ve bought p ostage
■tamps there qu ite frequently.—P h ila ­
delph ia P ress.
"Yon are looking handsom e tonlgfeL
M iss FUte,” B agster rem arked la the
pau ses o f the dance.
“So Mr. S m yth e told m s a fe w min­
u tes ago.”
Bagster (only remembering that
Sm yth e is his hsted rival)— Wsll you
w ou ld n’t b elieve anyth in g th at chum p
said, w ould you?—P hiladelphia Tin
A a B a e a o a a le a l C r e s s a tla n .
“ Excuse me, sir,” said the man In the
te x t seat, "but your cigar Is burning n
hole In your paper.”
“T h a t la all right,” reepowjed the
other. " I am Just burning out the
price of those sealskin mantles at to­
I
morrow’s bargain sale.
You
take thia paper home."—Nuggets.
la
O ld K e a l a e k g .
The parson cams out and remonstrat­
ed with the major for being too hasty
with his gun.
“ After he said t h a t ” M id the parson,
“you should have forgiven him.”
“And didn’t I f spoke ep the major.
“Why. person. 1 wee eoe of his paD-
C on (H ot le a O r le r a .
“T h e average photographer."
H enpeck m usingly, “is an unren
hie creature.”
“W hat’s the matter now?" asked Me
friend.
"Oh. w h ile m y w if e w a s sittin g fee
her picture today the tool photographer
su n g out: ’Look pleasanb please. Be
natural P ' -P h ila d e lp h ia P ress.
m a r k T e e th .
The custom of women I n _
.nnrrlsge g ivin g their tseth an eresv
last< ig coating o f biackit
now by only • small
there are stlil seen in the
dreds of women hideous
Ivory and dentists’ Shea
sets of black teeth.
bearsrs.”—Chicago Nswe.
A man who gets Into
never making
■«••liv Wenrta*.
too sear perf<
"Ruggles. I nevar sew you looking so Chicago News.
woebegone before. Are you In lo v e f
"Tee, but I ’ ve got the grip. too. and I
Oqod advice la like i
den’t know which of the two hurts me live, but i
Wm