Y^- y - T y -y - y t - - A D V E R T IS E R S SIUSLAW’S ONLY PAPER. O P P O R T U N IT Y J 1 -•¿.-A-afci *- NO. 14. FLOKENCE, OREGON, FRIDAY, MARCH 1, D)01. LOVt RULES ALU TRAVELERS’ G UI STEAM ER u — G U L F U JIK T E IK M A R G U E R IT E , W ill m ake ------ S T A O E L IN E . ........T. T. Geer. R E G U L A R D A IL Y T R IP S «overnor............... B a r re tt, I- rop’r, ... .F. I. Dunbar. cretary of S'ate. -----B etw een — . . . . F. 8. Moore, treasurer. .. Stage lxsaves Steamboat Landing on flupt. Public Instruction J. H. Ackerman . the Umpqua for Florence Saturdays. State Printer.......................W. H . Leeds. Returning, Stage Leaves Florence Attorney General D. R. N. Blackburn « .................R. S. Bean [ Sundays. Supreme Court ■-F - A'.Moore Extra Trips When Necessary ( ,. .. C . E. Wolverton THE STEAM ER Charges Reasonable. Judge 8econd District. .J. W. Hamilton prosecuting A ttorney.. .Geo. M. Brown You can cough y o u r s e lf in to bronchitis,pneu­ monia, and con­ sum ption. B a n d a g in g and bundling yo u r th r o a t w i l l d o no good. You must give y o u r throat and lungs rest and allow the cough wounds to heal. There is noth­ ing so bad fo r a cough as cough­ ing. Stop it by using H. H. FIorencB aii Beai of » A C M E COUNTY OFFICERS Judge............................ H. R. Kincaid. ( ...............J. R. Hill Commissioners j ........H. D. Edwards '^ lerk ........................................... E - u - Lee Iberiff ........................W. Wt Withers treasurer ...................... A. I>; S. I’: Patterson tssèssor. ' . ........... .............. chool Superintendent---- \ \ . M. I ,!■ r Inrveyor...............................C M . Collier fcoroner............................G. W. Grillin Justice of Peace.................C. II. Holden Constable........................ G. C. Cumpton CITY OFFICERS. President. .. F. B. Wilson board of Trugtees M. Mt rria Wm Bernhardt L. Christensen D. W. Stibbens Lecorder.................... John I. Butterfield freasurer.............................. O. W. Hurd EUGENE-FLORENCE W ill carry freight and passengers from Florence to San Francisco. Will also bring up freight . . . *** . . . *** For further information inquire - OF — A. W. BEADLE & CO. 22 Market St, San Francisco, California. S T A G E L IN E . E. B a n g s , P r o p r ie to r . Stage leaves Eugene on Mon­ days, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 6 a. m. arriving at Florence the day following at 10 a. in. Returning stage leaves Florence Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fri­ days at 2 p. m. arriving at Eugene the folio wingday a t 9 p. m. N ORTHERN P a c if ic , Ry. Single fare - _ _ - 5.00. Round trip . _ - - 9.00. Tickets for sale at E. Bangs’ livery barn, Eugene, and at O. W. H urd’s ollice in Florence. R U larshal............................ G- C. Cumpton N * All through freight on the stage either way between Eugene aud Mapleton, will be charged at the rate of two cents per pound during the months of October, November, December, January, February, March and April, and one cent per pound during the months of May, June, July, August and September. S SECRET SOCIETIES. NOTARIES. P u llm a n S le e p in g ■ F. A A. M. Florence Lodge No. 107. E l e g a n t !■ Regular communication on second pd fourth Saturdays in each month. E. W. C obb , W. M. T o u r is t I. B, M ills , Secretary. D in in g C a rs P lo t* M I N N E A P O L I S _____ D U L U T H ______________ FARG O TO GRAND ____________ FORKS CRO OKSTON I f. *»d HELENA BUTTE TH R O U G H T IC K E T S TO C H IC A G O W A S H IN G T O N I. O. F. Maple Lodge No.. 139. meets very Thursday evening in Meyer & ,'s Hall, Mapleton. Oregon. Broth- in good standing invited to attend. T. J. N sbly , N. G. 8. P hxlps , Sec. P H I L A D E L P H IA NEW YORK BO STO N A NO A L L _ P O IN T S E A S T »nd S O U T H For inform atinn , tim e card«, map« and tlck sta etc., c a ll on or write R. M c M u r p h e y » O F, Irene Encampment, No. 42, eets in I. 0 . O. F. hall in Florence ■econd and fourth Friday of each th. Members of this degree are ialiy invited to attend. 8. J. S bvmouk , O. P. . P sil , Scribe. O. O. F.—Mignon Lodge No. 105, General Agent. K oom . 2 and 4, Sh elton Block, EUGENE, OREGON. A- D- C H A R L T O N , A«»l»tant General Passenger A gent, 255 Morrison St., Cor., 3d. F’o - '- t la .n d , O r . MORRIS «’» HOTEL, , Rebekah Degree, meets in Meyer & C A S S ID Y & SON - - Proprietors. lie 's Hall, Mapleton, the let and 3rd F lo r a n o o , O r e g o n . Eursday evenings in each month. M attie O. H udson , N. G. . F. C. B ean , Sec. Tables furnished with all the CHURCH DIRECTORY delicacies of the season. O re g o n noe. FRANK B. WILSON. NOTARY Attorney at Law, gen e, - O regon ’-R o o m . 7 and S M cLaran’« B uild ing. _±1 a tten tio n g iv e n to co llectio n « and pro- b n ilu e s' Give us : : - OREGON P atents DsaioMe M o n e y Saved By P a t r o n iz in g it. W it t f lc America«. Even the cough of early consum ption is c u r e d . A nd, later on, when the disease is firm ly fixed, you can b rin g rest and com fort in every case. A 25 cent bottle w ill cure new coughs a nd c o ld s ; the 50 cent size is better fo r settled coughs of b ro n ch itis and weak lungs; the one d o lla r size Is m ore econom ical fo r ch ronic cases and con­ sum ption. I t ’s the size you should keep on hand. “ A ll fam ilies ou gh t to bo on the w atch for sudden attacks o f croup or acute lu n g troubles. E very coun­ try hom e in tho land should keep Cherry P ectoral constantly on hand to provide against an em ergency.” J o s i a h G. W i l l i s , M .D., D ec. 14,1898. Holland, M ich. 8HE HAS A NEW VALI8E. W by B h « B * « * h t I * a a « W h y . A la a , S h e W i l l W a t L« b < I t . A’ bREEiPATTERN Loan a Savings Bank MS CALL I PATTERNS’ pat ’,L»l in fr r o o f charjo. Our fen n o t d n e till j p it .n t in - irf 1. A P a m p h let “How toOb-Y win v.-uh co t « f r u n o in th o U . and foreign countries sent free. Addru*«, WRITE FOR CIRCUUR! S e w in g M achines w e m anufacture and their prices before you purchase any other. THE HEW HOME SEWIHB MIGHIHE CO., o ftA N » Prop CENTRALLY L O C A TE D . F R E E S A M P L E RO O M S. FIRST-C LASS. HOTEL EUGENE A B R IS TO W , Poor». «2.00 PER DAY ■ Union Sqo»m, M. T . IteJiM, Tex*». E, U AH S, t t l w . III. s*n rrnnclK., C l. FOR SALE SV »«■ Lo»l«. *«• a tlu t» , O*. Good dealers wauled in every town. Write lor price' and terms to San Iran cisco, C a l . WANTED—ACTIVE MAN OF GOOD CIIAHAC ter to d eliver end co lle ct In Oregon, lor old ertnblf.h ed mnnnfACtiirlnz w h o le r .le houre. >000 a year,su re pny. H onesty more th sn e x p e r i­ ence required. Our reference, any bank in any city. Kncloae aelf a d d m a e d atainned envelope. M anufacturer», Third rioor, 331 Hearborii lit., Chicago. H O I.L K S B B C K BROS. RATES fl.oo to EUGENE. •«« OREGON. C opyr ig hts A c . otabl.. Comunnlra. “ «ndbeo* on r«e«iW t ad before the other fellows get wind of It. and we’ll head ’em off.” Smith reported presently, "Mr. Gould, we can get all the ties, fish­ plates, bolts nuts and spikes we want, hut we enn’t get the rails.” "Tele­ graph to every mill In the country, and pay any price,” said Gould. “I have done so, and there is no chance for a delivery under 12 mentha.” "Then,” said the little wizard, “go somewhere and tear up something. We’ve got to have rails.” He Indicated the road to destroy, a branch or feeder of the Union Fnclflc. Smith soon had the old road torn up and tho new one laid down. Then came war. Stockholders of the Union Pacific learned of the enterprise and haled Smith to court to answer for tearing up a railroad that belonged to them. To their questioning he admit­ ted all and bad no excuse, but that Jay Gould ordered him to do It. ‘‘Who Is Jay Gould?” some asked. “What has he got to do with It?” Up rose a young lawyer from New York to Inform them that Mr. Gould owned all the bonds of the Union Pa­ cific road, though not a dollnr of Its stock, and that he was absolute pro­ prietor of the feeder that Mr. Smith had torn up. There never was a more surprised and mystified lot of men. They had nothing more to say.—Ban F-ancIsco Argonaut A Portiaud woman tells this story, which may have a moral: Several years ago her husband made her a present of a traveling bag made of black Russia leather, handsomely mounted and strong and serviceable. She had had tt only a few days when the slster-ln-lnw of her boarding mis­ tress borrowed it to take with her to DreMiiiRh a< ooonomlss, fanoy work, *-- household hlpt«. th ' White mountalna. It looked so -----------t — . iopies,' .. a — >rtho to-day. short" «torios. currant eto. »ub»eri much nicer than her own was her Oply 60o. yearly. Lady aguo 14 wan tad. Saad fort Of Eugene, Oregon apology, it had only been returned a few days when a friend who was going to take a little journey up among the hills of Oxford county beg­ ged the loan or it, and again It was taken down from “the upper shelf." Then another friend waa to make a visit of n few weeks In Montreal. A General Banking Business Could ahe take It? She could and did »or UAI m , U.1MM. s ir i . sud U tti. «hUdran. That «se By this time the new look bad van­ Transacted on Favorable Terms U other l . « r ll.h '' ch i. * «ff-C a ol «tU ln .d b» th . «M . f ra» ished, and stilt Its owner hrd had no pattern«. H oys no equal (or style atad perfect occasion to carry it. Drafts issued on the p rincip al c ities of the One evening a favorite cousin called. U nited States and foreign countries. He was captain of a brig which was Interest allow ed on Dem and C ertificates of a BAZAR< to sail for the coast of Africa the next D eposit w hen le ft stated period. day. but be himself was going on a C ollections receive our prom pt attention. 'teamer via England. Did his cousin I have a valise she wouldn't need for C ity a nd C ounty Warrants bought. Zrallr DU« to««th«r Only I« «nd II rant« ra c h -n o n . Reluctantly the Clilier Sold In iirarly ,» .r y olty raid t«wn or b» m«lL six months or so? W .E . BROWN, D. A . PAINE, A.k lor them , Abeoltitoly T.ry i.tr a t up-to-detd Kyun. traveling hag was produced, und that President. Vice President. T H E M cC A L L C /M P A N Y , » IM-lt* »Ml Itlh Itr.rt. . . .Saw T" k CH,, A was the last time the lady saw It for F . W . OSBURN, W .W . BROWN, two years, when It reached her by the C ash ier. A ss’t Cashier. hand of a sailor from the brig. But It was In such a battered and forlorn •» -" V a T R Y T H E . - ? condition that ahe consigned It to the waste barret " HEW HOME ” SEWINI1 MACHINE. In the meantime she had bought a Caveats an4 Tr*»’’o Marks obtained and «11 Tat J uew valise, which she declined to lend. ont b i. o.-idnrted for M od erate F e e s. < —Lewiston (Me.) Journal. F L O R E N C E .-- a call. T T O R N E Y - A . T - L i- A / W . F lo ren ce. 5 4 Rend ? i M . drawing or pho to. W e itd v lso lf/ Geo. Hale E . E. B E N E D IC T , Ï A n d G o n ld K n e w W h e r e t o G e t t h e H a l l , to D o I t . PUBLIC. E lk P r a ir ie H otel. A. C. WOODCOCK, W THEY BUILT TH E ROAD. t t ESBYTERIANyiHURCH.FIorence. Oregon. On every ,Sabbath in each onth, Sunday-School at 10 a. m. and In ior Endeavor Society at 2:30 p. m. k the Second and Fourth Sabbaths of T w e n t v - t h r e e ich month, preaching services at 11 a. M il e s W e s t L A cordial invitation to these services Eugene. ¡extended to all. A. \V iuht . Preacher in charge. ATTORNEYS Æ Io peace Love turns the shepherd’s reedj In war he mounts the warrior’s steed; In halls in gay attire is seen. In hamlets dances on the green. Love rules the court, the camp, the grove, And mvu below and saiuts above. For love is heaven, and heaven la love. —Sir Walter Scott. EUGENE W IN N IP E G r O. O. F. Heceta Lodge No. I l l .meets every Wednesday evening in Lodge Hall Florence, Oregon. Brothers in ■sod standing invited to attend. E . A. E vans , N. G. C. P cil , Sec. Notary Public, Surveyor C a rs S T . P A U L ________ ____ O U .W . Perpetua Lodge, No. 131, ■ meets every 1st and 3d Tuesdays cu month. Members and visiting sthren in good standing are cordially rlted to attend. A. O. F unkk , M. W. G. K notts , Recorder. A. R. B U T T O L P H , C a rs S le e p in g And Mid I that rar limb« «era old» And said 1 that my blood w o coid And that my kindly Br# was fled And my poor withered heart was dead And that I might not sing of love! How could I to the deareat theme That ever warmed a minstrel's dream. So foul, so false a recreant prove t How could I name love’s very nama Nor wake my harp to notes of flamef PATENTS ova n i svi im a FOR 8ALE OR EXCHANGE. A honee aod lot in Gleoeda. The house is W by 24 feet and one story and a hall in height. Ateo a good woodshed on premise«. For fnrthef particulan ianitÌM a « ÌÌ a LA vatot 4«MripUo! I S A m BOOK m i O b I ai «« r»fcr»»©«« « r 4 M I iBferwkttea w a m FOB OOPT o r OVB fFBOIAL o r n i Itliü is ai'*t inorai y rojMxIUo« t ’ »f rnaAe hy « M im i «M«r»«7, «ad m > Y IWTIWTOB SBOOT.D r ÌAB n Mfcw Appi/'»« far Addrw« H.B.WILLSONÄCO. R A T I NT LAW TCRS, u b w B W r .. W A S H IN G T O N , P. C. A T lio u n h tfa l L it t le W ife . Young Wife—My dear, there Is a ) gentleman waiting In the other room. i C. A. SNOW & CO. He wants to speuk to you. i O e e P ate nt Orrif r. W«® HIN6T0W, D* C J He—Do you know him? She—You must forgive me, darling, but of late yon h"ve been troubled THE GFNTLF-WOMAN is a month with a cough, tiesldes, you tnke so lit •tie care of yourself, and—oh, If you ly magazine devoted to subjects of inter­ only knew how anxious I aui about est to the ladies. The regular subscrip­ you. Buppose 1 were to lose you, love." tion price is one dollar but we have made (She bursts Into sobbing and throws herself on his brenst.) arrangement by which we offer it for n He—Come, my dear, silly child, do he short time for fiftv cents ayear. Call and calm, do he calm. People dou’t die see a samulo cobv. of a slight cold. Still, If It will pacify you, show the doctor In. Who Is It? Dr. Pallet, eh? W ASTED.—«'apable, reliable person In every She—It Isn’t a doctor. It la—It 1»- countv to represent large com pany of «olid a life insurance agent I financial, reputation: R93II salary per year, paya­ ble w eekly; f3 per day absolutely «tire und all expenses; ftrnlght, bona fide, defin ite salary, no com m ission; salary paid each Hatmday and ex­ pense money advanced each w eek. STANDARD HOUSE, S34 OEARBoatt ht ., cnn-A eo. 41-14 S ia m ’s W s l a b l s a n S M s a s a r e s . In Slain the liquid measure used Is derived from a cocoanut shell which Is capable of holding 830 tamarind seeds, and 20 of these units equal the capacity of a wooden bucket. In dry measure, 830 tamarind seeds make one "k’anabn,” and 25 "k’suabn” make one “sat.” or bamboo basket; 80 "sat” make one “kwien.” or cart Thia is an example of the primitive origin of moet unite of weights and measures. F a re tb a a a h t. W IL D B O Y IS H T R IC K S IRAZY PRANKS PERPETRATED BY COLLEGE 8TUDENTS. a C a r t U m l f i l W ltfc B ric k s T h a t P o .f il on th e R o o f o f H a r v a r d M e ­ m o r ia l H a l l—A W e ir d D e c o r a tio n F o r a S ln t u e o f J u s t i c e . C a r ltS c m v Seed. There are some seeds which "literal­ ly corkscrew themselves Into the ground.” The most remarkable In­ stance Is perhaps that of the 8plna pennata. a beautiful south European grass. The actual seed Is small, with a sharp point and stiff short hairs pointing backward. The top end of tlie seed Is produced Into a fine, twist­ ed, corkscrewlike rod, which is fol­ lowed by a plain cylindrical portion ending In a long, delicate feather, the whole being more than a foot in length. Owing to this fenther the seed falls to [ the earth polut downward and stick» I In the ground. | But even If tho seed should settle on Its side, damp, by noting on the hairs attached to It, causes it to rise up till Its point la downward. If a shower comes on or dew falls, the spiral un­ ' winds. elongating Itself upward. Be­ ! ing covered, like the seed, with back­ ward pointing hairs. It usually presses against some blade c f grass or other obstacle, with the result that the seed Is pressed Into the ground. On the spiral becoming dry again. It curls up, nnd the seed Is not drawn out of the ground owing to Its back­ ward pointing hairs, hut the spiral and the feather are easily drawn do wn. On the return of damp the spiral again un­ winds aud, acting as before, drives the seed still farther down until at last It Is quite burled. “In all ages.” said the man who ob- lerves, “boys have been hoys, aud If it times their play may smack of bru­ tality, at others It Is amusing and even .“lever. Some years ago nt Harvard i cart containing bricks broke down in front of Memorial hall. It being then late, the driver left It there for the night The uext morning, securely resting on the ridge of the roof of Memorial hall, was that self same load »f bricks, although how It got there Is to this day a mystery. The scuttle to the roof wus far too small to admit the body of the cart. On tlie other land, tlie cart was too heavy. It seemed, to have been pulled up by hand from the outside, and besides neither wnll □or roof showed any sign of Its pas­ sage. Yet there It was, and there It remained until nt considerable expense to pockets nnd temper the college au­ thorities liad It removed and Restored to Its clamoring owner. “Tho preparatory school to which I went was In a small country village. A fire was looked upon as a great affair and was attended by the stu­ dents In n body. Once there our cus­ tom was to hurl ribald remarks nnd ad­ vice at the varloua firemen by name. To get even It was their habit, at un­ expected moments, to turn the hose upon us. A few duckings taught us caution, and we at length were usually able to scamper away without a wet­ ting. “One bitter winter afternoon we gathered at n fire and eugnged In our usual occupation of baiting the fire­ men. At length they tried to reach us with the hose, but having antici­ pated the move we were without Its range. But unnoticed behind us had been standing the principal of the school. On his august person the stream of water descended like an avenging fate, and liefore the panto stricken firemen could turu It away he was w.*t to his respectable skin. The water froze as It struck, and we were presently gaxlng upon a human Icicle. “At length we recovered sufficiently to go to his aid and, wrapping him In coats, drove him rapidly to his home, during which the entire school shook in Its shoes, while the wretched firemen were for resigning In a body. But he was a thorough good fellow, and beyond a few words as to the wrong we were doing In Interfering with a public servant In the discharge of his duty lie allowed the Incident to pass by unnoticed. “The town ball was one of those hideous and bleak structures so com­ mon In the New England towns of 20 years ago, where the only attempt at decoration was a funereal cupola In the exact center of the roof, on top of which was a large figure of Justice. To the horror of the selectmen the town awoke one momlug to gaze upon a transfigured Justice. A light blue crinoline skirt and red shawl enwrap­ ped her figure, and she looked coquet- lishly out from beneath the shadow of an Immense poke bonnet. As a particularly happy thought sho was weighing two babies In the scales. "Then came an awful row. The town hnd no hook and ladder truck, without the aid of which no one could be found to remove the garments. The uearest hook and ladder company was 12 miles distant and required not only permission of the town council but the expenditure of ensh to bring It over. The selectmen declared that as It was manifestly a trick of the students the faculty should pny. The faculty firm­ ly refused, holding that there was no proof that such was the case. For ten days the controversy raged, and then the selectmen gave way nnd paid for the hook nnd ladder truck. The «lay tlie hook nnd ladder conipnuy was to come a storm sprang up which lasted for three days. When the god­ dess was finally stripped of her cloth­ ing. the dyes hnd run, aud she emerg­ ed tinted with all the colors of tho rnlnbow. She hnd to be painted afresh, the selectmen footing the cost with sullen faces. “The secret was successfully kept ns to how the goddess was decornted. The night previous to the occurrence there had been a show In the town ball. When It wns over, the captain of the football team nnd two fellow conspirators hnd sneaked beneath the baize fronted stage. When all was quiet, they hnd ascended to the roof. Once there one end of a long rope had been attached to the captnln's waist and the other to that of one of the others. Tbo third man accompanied the climber to the base of the figure with the bundle of clothes. The skirt and babies were enslly placed, but I the shawl and bonnet «-nine as harder work, the figure rocking fearfully on Its base. The Idea of the rope was that In case the dresser fell he would be saved from rolling to rtie ground. If such an accident hnd happened, when he bounded from the sloping sides of the roof he nndoubbxlly would have carried the football captain to the ground with him. They didn’t think of this, however, and It gave them a greater feeling of aufety.’’—New York "What did you buy so much of this Tribuna. cheap and worthless coffee for?" -■ 1 ......... Digests what you eat "For these uew neighbors of ours A B a r e B la a . It,artificially digest* the food and aids When a young lady begin» to mani­ Nature to strengthening and recon- In case they prove to be of the borrow­ •tructlng tho exhausted digestive or­ ing sort. If they don't you can throw fest an Interest In ihe arrangement of a young man’s cravat, bis bachelor gans. I t lathe latest discovered digest»- i It away.”—Chicago Tribune. days are numbered. It Is time to be­ ant and tonic. No other preparation The eonstructlon of a cigar box may gin to board monsg».—Collier's Weekly. can approach It» in efficiency, i t in* ita n tly relieve» and permanently cure» seem to be a very simple matter to the novice, but the box passes through 11» I It ls th« hum hl» man that advanccs. | different processes before It is ready H« recognlses bla Iniperfectlous and alca neaoacnw, to receive the cigars. 1 ztrivea to Improv«. III» progress I« all other re»ulU of imperfect digestion. th« runlt of bla knowhalge of seif. Rwltaerland’s expense for the keep­ Th« vnln, concelted, arrogant man . pr.oorsa s* t. c. Dewir r a t o . caims«» ing of each la mate la Die Insane asy­ staoda atllL lums Is «48 a year. M K Y F U A K YLK , H o w B r ’e r R a b b i t B e a t B r ' s r F o x . Oue day Br’er Fox was hungry. As he wandered about the woods he saw a squirrel upon the branch of a tall tree. “Hello, Br’er Squirrel!” be said. “Hello, Br’er Fox!” replied the squir­ rel. Then said Brer Fox: “I once had a brother who could Jump from limb to limb.” “So can I," replied Br’er Squir­ rel. “Let me see you,” snld the fox. So the squirrel jumped from limb to limb. •‘Br’er Squirrel, I have a brother who can Jump from tree to tree.” “I can too.” So Br’er Squirrel Jumped from tree to tree. “Br’er Squirrel, I had a brother who could Jump from tlie top of a tall tree right into my arms.” “I can too.” Aud ho did. Br’er Fox ate him all up. Br’er Rabbit was lying In bis bed near by and saw all that was done. “Br’er Fox,” said he, “your u mighty smart man, but I had a brother who could f o something you cannot do.” “What wns ItF’ said Br’er Fox. "My brother could let anybody tie a large rock around his neck and jump off this nrldge Into the water and swim o u t” “So can I," said the fyx. Then Br’er Rabbit fixed tho rock nnd the string, and Br'er Fox Jumpe.1, but he lias not been heard of sine».—Ameri­ can Folk Lore. A C e e p l e o f S b o ek % . "Where have you been, Mr RockyT* demanded the boss. “Oh, sir,” replied Rocky mendacious­ ly. “my landlady Is a most excellent woman, nnd she has been so 111 that I had to stay at home to nurse her." This excuse went,and the boss turned sway. The following «lay Rocky felt like he had sand lu his head, and A headache os long as a rainy Sunday In the country developed. He staid at home, sending the excuse that his landlady waa dead and he had to at­ tend the funeral. Ijiter In the day a woman entered tlie bookstore and In­ quired for Mr. Rocky. "The reason 1 came here.” she ex­ plained, "Is because 1 am his landlady, and uot having seen him for a week I became uneasy and called to Inquire about him.” “Ills landlady!” gnsp«Ml the boss. "Why, woman, lie’s attending your fa- acral this very day aud has been nurs­ ing you for n week." It was a shock to the poor woman to find she wns dead, hut a shock of an­ other sort struck Rocky when he came hack to work. It was his funeral that tlino.—Louisville Times. D is t in c t io n s In lle ln a K ic k e d . The Arnhs, clever horsemen as they are, are quite as liable to accident ns English grooms. But the Arab likes to be kicked by a thoroughbred horse and cannot endure to be put to any pain by an animul whose pedigree is at all de­ fective. An English surgeon bad lieeu setting the broken leg of an Arab who complained more of the accident that hnd befallen him thnn was thought be­ coming In- one of Ills tribe. This tho surgeon remarked to him, and his an­ swer wns truly characteristic. “Do yon think, doctor, I should Lave uttered a word of complaint If my own high br«*«t colt In a playful kick had broken both my legs? But to have a bone broken by a brute of a jackass Is too bad. and 1 wlU complain!” P a r r ie d Ih e T h r a s l. A lady had In her employ an excel­ lent girl who had one fault Her fnco wns always In a smudge. Her mistress tried, without offending, to tell her to wash her face and at last resorted to strategy. “Do yon know, Bridget,” she remark­ ed In a confidential manner, *Mt is snld that If you wash the face every day In hot. soapy water It will make you heau- llf u ir "Will I t r said Bridget. “Sure. It’s a wonder ye nlver tried It, ma'nmf’— Our Dumb Animals. D o t Ik e C hun«». “Why were you tempted to steal this man's purse?” '•Because my doctor recommended me to take a little change." The combined catch of cod by all th« fisheries of the world Is estimated at RW.000.000 pounds annually, most of which Is exported to tropical countries after having been hard dried. Issarlat Paymaster» aud flchils of the German nr apeclal training In esamini Ry of food supplied to ‘