fl ^ 7 [T K K W E S T S Y O U R H O H E PAPER * s t n < n it I .* » I VOL. IX FLORENCE, OREGON, FRIDAY, Dec. 16, 1898. ' q ENERAL directory TRAVELERS’ GUIDE. TRAVELERS' GUIDE on gTATE OFFICERS- SPANISH GRANDEES. S T E A M ER “ M IN K , G A R D I N E l in k . R OM 0 ” * Will make*------ 0 R e g u l a r r .................W illia m P . L o rd . ! i of S ‘» t e ..............A l. R- K in c aid . ......... P h i l i p M etelien H. H. Barrett, Prop’r, .. . F . A. M oore I. E . W o lv e rto n J . W . Hamilton ecutlng A tto rn ey . _ .b e o . M . B row n ’niRrtsh, ’ll, Mas,, I MPUliU. ■ ^S econd D istric t days mid Fridays. days and Saturdays. Connects with Steam er and O R TH ER N Pacific, Ry, : ......................E . U . Lee E le g a n t treasurer............... ...........A . 8 . P a tte rs o n . . . . I). 1’ . B u rto n Dining Cars Returning-stago leaves F lo r-. ence daily, except Sundays at 2 Cars p. in., arriving in Eugene the day following at 0 p. m. T o u rist L o i Superintendent . . • W . M . M iller Sleeping Urveyor........ • • ...............C. M . C o llier [oroner............... .........W . P . C h e s h ire ............ C . I I . H o ld e n Lice o( Pesce 8 T . PAUL «utsble............. ............... E . A . E v an s D uluth M IN N E A P O L IS Single fare - - _ _ $5.00 Round trip . . - - $9.00 Tickets for sale at E. Bangs’ livery barn, Eugene, and at O. W. H urd’s office in Florence. FARGO TO G R A ND FO RKS CITY O F F I C E R S . CRO OKSTON W IN N IP E G H E L E N A and )D(w«. | ertain- ) Euro- mputa- >th feet ■covety jf both healed t very l com- rform- nr and ht and latever toe on ys ten- (iris of of the which 1 con- o most oea so ij the me are need- might opera- dgcr. ffreiiJeiit............. .. W . I I . W en tlie rso n BUTTE O . W . H u rd W in . K yle loi Trustees The Funk & VVagnalls THROUGH TICKETS I,. Christensen M. Morris em up The .field- firing 1 then ch oo- Igo a to ten ir you odged I held ;uilty : once inali? bave iland come la in Standard TO C H IC A C O Dictionary Of The ____ J o h n I I . M orris W A S H IN G T O N ...............J . A. P o n d P H IL A D E L P H IA ........G . C. Cnmpton NEW ENOLISH LANGUAGE YORK COMPLETE BORTON ANO A L L ' SUCCIENT P O IN T S E A S T "lid S O U T H SECRET S O C IE T IE S . A U T H O R IT A T IV E For information, timecards, mapsand tickets . etc., cah on or write . R. M c M urphey , A.Mi Florence Lodge N o. 107. lieg,liar soin in 11 ideation o n sec o n d j General Agent.' Kontos 2 ítal I, Shelton Block, ¡jiourtli Saturdays in e a c h m o n th . EUGENE, OREGON. 0 . W . I I vud , W . M . a d arlton ¡ J sotts , S ecretary. . .CR P o rtla n d MORRIS 533 Readers for Quotations 5000 Illustrations Cost over $960,000 I O.V. W. P e rp e tu a L o d g e , N o . 131, ■ meets every 1st a n d 3d S a tu r d a y s ri month. M em bers m id v is itin g Rtlirenin good sta n d in g a r e c o rd ia lly iiiteltoattend. .1. J . A n iieh so n , M .W . I*«. Kite, Recorder. Appendix of 47,468 Entries O r. The full number of wonis and terms In different dictionaries for the entire alphabet is as follows: S’ obmontii , 50,000; W obciikstkr 105,000; W ebster (International), 125,000; C en tury , (six volumes. complete,) 225,000: I STANDARD, over 300,000; HOTEL, J . I . BUTTERFIELD, Proprietor OUR AIM—To furnish the hist accommodations at reasonable .Samóle Pages Free. prices. ACENTS W ANTED. Head of Tide Hotel, I. 0.F. Hereta Lodge N o. I l l , m e e t s |fftry Wednesday e v e n in g in L odge II, Florence, Oregon. B r o th e r s in id standing invited to a tt e n d . T homas J . B o n u s , N . G . C iias . H. V a n d k k iicro , See. W. W. NEELY, Prop’r. E. D. BRONSON & CO, Tables furnished with all the delicacies of the season. Wild game, fish and fruit in season. Best CHURCH D IR E C T O R Y pBYTERIAN C H U R C H , F lo re n c e , w o n . Sabbath s e r v ic e ; S a b b a th - R, 10 o'clock a. m . P r e a c h in g 11 M». hi . and 7 p. in. S a c r a m e n t of Rbord's supper on 1 st S a b b a th of JT’ April, J u ly a n d O c to b er. Wboity is welcome to a ll tin- se rv ice s. *1» pieats C h r is tia n s to m ak e *!'•) kuown. I. G. K n o tts , Pastor. ATTORNEYS A. C. WOODCOCK, Attorney a t Law, accomodations for the traveling public. Charges reasonable. Pacific Coast Agents SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 933 Market St. Tonsorial P a rlo rs . * ★ E lk P ra irie Hotel. Tw entv-three M iles West of Eugene. ON EUGENE AND FLORENCE STAGE ROUTE. * * * * * * MARION MORRIS Pro p. Shaving Hair Cutting Razor Honed Scissors Ground jr io r c n o s , made and 0,1 Money Saved By Patronizing it. e° ^ e c ^ 0119 an<* p ro* ¡ E. 0 P O T T E R . •Mtorncy-nt-Law . . tl'HKXE, OREGON. NOTARIES. ’’’Dee At the Court House. E’ t. A. R- BUTTOLPH, benedict , 3 R -N H J Y A T ; - X u A W . Notary Public, Surveyor . Oreeon. O regon y io r o n o e , 50 Mr«. kanta YEA R S’ P atents niç to ¡»tion ...... NOTARY PUBLIC. T rade M arrs OSSIORR C O F V R IO H T R A C . '' • ’k.lrb «art description m ar M » • « ? < opinion free whether M PBtBntabl«. Communica te * Handbook on Patents • ’«M r ? for »*curin«r netents. Mnnn A <&; receive LLaT\»-P°qt charee, tn the Hk flmtrkan. ' Sf 7Dli","”' ,sd wwklr. ■s FRANK B. WILSON^ • lorence . - - loruaa» e»r- Tenas. SB A b j all nawadealars. .•dentili«. Inamai New York ore “ N PATENTS 8 5 t.iln reren».- U..;.• T .» - c . A. M r . B oltin Snubbed by I>icken». •‘Dodd tho Dcstinan, ” who founded the barge race, meant to be the founder of the Royal Dramatic college. He offer ed the money to Bcujamin Webster and Charles Dickens aud was not altogether well treated in the mutter. He was c e r tainly not an aristocratic donor, und the source of the money m ight have been materials for ridicule, but he certainly merited more civility than begot. Web ster shelved him rather shabbily, nnd Dickens caricatured him as “ Boffin, the Golden Dustman.’’— Loudon Mail. : : O regon. repaired . “ I feed considerably encouraged about 1 Slusher.” "Why, I thought, you told me he was incurable— thut he smoked the nasty little things incessantly, and they hud given him a constant cough.” "That’s why I am encouraged. The cough is getting worse.”—Chicago Tribune. I ’ le y ln " G ooseb erry. Placing gooseberry or “ to play gooso- berry is common enough in connection with sweethearting A lass arranges a F lo re n o e , O re g o n . walk with a lad, but for some rcasnu gho di»;« not t aro to go alone, so she Good Work Done at Reasonable Prices. takes a friend, another girl, and the friend " play» gooseberry ’’ Sometimes the girl who is invited to share the A M ilita ry T ric k . walk refuses, saying. "Nay, Un, not One of our German-American citizens going to play gooseberry. “ The girls y c S d tbe following incident of «be Kpcak of the lad hi this connection as German revolutlJB of 184» • GT w e were short of men « d had 8 "g.sisebcrry fool ” By the way, green goosebemes stewed with a little water, lirga number of a“f mashed, and sng:.r udde<L constitute ^ n o t X » . bnt one day we bud "gooseberry fool ’—Notes and Qu> n rs were not m F Tbe conu(ry J nut In T im e . n’“‘ b “w ,¡0, we were to pass was A butcher s lad went to deliver some ,br? .g .nd extreme watchfulness was hostile, few enough men as meat »t a certain house iu Newt astir where a fien-u d ig is kept. The lad en necessary- fcnew tb a( tbosc p ris tried the Istck yard, aud us kxiu as die W’ were ready to make a dead run at dog saw him be piuurd bun agallisi the oners were re»"? tbe first> ng officer mad" a bril- wall 1» a short time the mislress iff •Fiually" . lt was promptly the bouse ran ont and drove the tnirual liant soggesti (he gWjp,.u()er away "Has be bitten yoB?" she asked " N o a .’’ caid the IntL ’aa kept him earned ont prisoners’ trousers, buttons fromi T wa bad off by giving him your subL su ye just - r e iany after cam m time to save ti.s beef —L ob them- m ew „ „ u a s o iit 'f ’ ’ doa Fon that, and fas march safely, A ( su m F o r < lrle f. oopiticu. sh'it evi’ti aukv® A Chinese of 40 years old, wbows »n't 1 d0 nOt_M h „ e mveutid a sin. and do mvruted mother still Bogged him daily, abed tears one day in tb<- company of friends. pier ' _^i.'—— Z7 — . i-.« ix " Why do y.iu weep?' asked »»no. " Alas, w ” tr^ ’ c'T--'ì’’ things are not as they used to be I” be '.atuentid "The fttir woman s arm grows f.el>h-r every cay.' — Household Wcrda OLE MYIilND. Prop- Geo. Hale Americans occupy an important posi tion in extending the prosperity aud civilization of modem Egypt. Not only do they form at least one- third of the tourists visiting Egypt, aud number some of tho leading Egyptolo gists. but the beneficent effect of their missions and schools is everywhere ap parent throughout Egypt. The magni tude of their Christian operations may Le gathered from the fact thut the Egyptian mission of the American Pres byterians lias 100 stations, 20 churches and U7 schools. Ask a little Egyptian child where it has learned its English, and it w ill very probably answer, "A t the American mission. ” The mission doctors, too, aro of much aervice. Au English lady might have died on board our mail steamer had n telegram not been sent to au American mission physi cian, who came on hoard, attended to her aud removed her to the hospital at Assiut.—North American Review. W i l l C u re U lm E v e n tu a lly . ---- BY----- O regon 1 *n<l s Mcbann’e B uilding. ! If you do not obtain all the benefit« you expe* ted from the u.ic of liie Vigor, ! writ« the doctor about it. Probably there It some difficulty w'th your gen eral system which may be easily re moved Adilres». DR. J- C. AYER, Lowell, Mass, e* T h e A m e ric a n « I u K jjy p t. 247 Editors and Specialists Assistant General Passenger Agent. 255 Morrison St. Cor. Jki. 1.1. R. General L yons P o s t, N o. 58 kiwi»sernn-I and f o u r th S a tu r d a y s ¡demi, nioutli at 1:30 p. in . J.I. B utterfield , Commander. J. L. F u b n im i , A d ju ta n t. melt these flakes of dandruff in the scalp. It goes further than this: it prevents their formation. It has still ether properties: it will restore color to gray hair in just ten times out of every ten cases. And it docs even more : it feeds and nourishes the roots of the hair. Thin hair becomes thick hair; and short hair be comes long hair. We have a took on the Hair and Scalp. It is yours, for the asking. 301,865 Vocabulary Terms , F l o r e n c e . O r e g o n .. ant of rregut liniral Proprietor. Stage leaves Eugene daily ex cept Sundays, at 0 a. in., arriving Cars nt 1' lorence the day following at 10 a. m. Sleeping .........\V . W . W ith e rs See a snow Storm tn summer? We never did; but we have seen the clothing at this time of the year so covered with dandruff that it looked as if it had been out in a regular snow storm. No need of th is sn ow storm . As the summer sun would melt the falling snow so will STAGE LINE. ............. W . T . B ailey .........I t . D . E d u a r d s Sherii................ Scotte. EUGENE-FLORENCE E. Bangs, ...........i * reasonable. * i \ free. -..¡X w & CO. H ^ D ¿ 2: s . F A M IL Y P E D IG R E E S T H A T R U N TEN BACK C E N T U R IE S . T h o N a tio n a l V a n ity B o r d e n no th e A b s u rd ly G ro te s q u e , an d P la y in g t h e G e n burg Stage Line for D rain. Also w ith Stage Line for Coos Bay. C harges j OOUNTY O F F I C E R S r e v c p A rrives at Florence Tuesdays T h u rs ‘- To» »hock ii ’fry hot lute pm ’"u in eady g •iiful cl □«lin 9 the beet ■nisten! ug the li tutu* • Add ;r until hick 1 1 V cloth middle • nur, I folded 1 cloth «tard it e n and cceeary lelphi» ’ Leaves Florence M ondays, LWedne»- Florence am Heafl of Mo. . . ..W . 11. L eede • Printer .C . M . Id le m a n . ,,ey General Court j - - - .........R. 8 . Bean s not ai lestwiy lu the ' give« D A IL Y TR IP S ---- Between — . Public I n s t r u c t i o n ’G ’ M- Irwin- “ s t a o e *■ aatoa, D. C. htBffoo. jSMrrrg» tle m a n Ila e B e e n C a lle d “t h e K n d e in ie Disease o f S p a in .“ It is related that a young guard, hav ing neglected to pay the usual salute to A Spanish duke at the court of Madrid, cxcufcd him self by saying that he did not know the offended nobleman's rank. “ My friend,” replied his grace, “ the safe rule is to nssnnie that everybody in the palace who looks like a monkey is a grandee of the first class. ” The truth is the Spanish aro a thor oughly mongrel race, and their conceit i f themselves amazes us. Th,eir country has probably been oftener overrun and conquered than any other territory of equal extent in Europe. Phccnician, Carthaginian, Roman, Vandal, Visigoth end Moor have all successfully made it their stamping ground, and tbe effect of all this upon tho pure Castilian blood, whatever that may be, is indeli bly stumped ou every really Spauish face. But playing (ho gentleman lias been called “ the endemic disease of Spain," . and tho national vanity is aoiucthuig grotesque. One of their historians seri ously advanced the theory that tho first inhabitants of the country “ arrived by a ir,” so impressed was be by their superhuman qna lities that nothing short c f a descent from the sky could account ; for them. A subsequent historian, how ever, after a long and grave disenssion ! of tho question, finally announced his ' opinion that “ they more probably came L i t t le G a m e o f T w o C h o ir M e m b e r» W h ic h j by land.” t h e M le la t e r S p o ile d . After this we need not be astonished A m inister’s widow tells this: that tho Spanish claim to possess the ” My husband, ’’ she said, "had brew s oldest fam ilies iu Europe. The surpris eyes that turned deeply, darkly black ing circumstauce is that the claim is when he was angry, and which danced not wholly w ithout foundation. Their with moet miraunlons merriment when fam ily names can in some cases be In c- he w as amused. Naturally, in tbe j ed back to an incredibly remote period, course of a long life w ith him, I came though it must not be assumed that the to know the varying expression of those original blood persists iu any purity. eyes pretty w ell. I used to w atch his Probably the most ancient fam ily iu ryes when he w aa preaching to know Spnin is the house of Pacheco, whose how things were going w ith him and, estates are not far from Carteia. now incidentally, w ith the congregation. I called Carta.va, in Andalusia. Plutarch remember once in the midst of a most tells us that when Crassus fied from earnest discourse to have seen him stop Italy ho concealed him self for eight suddenly for the space qf a m inute, not months at Xiinena, near Carteia, in more, his eyes growing strangely black, covet belonging to a Spanish gentleman then brightening again w ith that irre named Pacieeus. Cicero also mentions sistible twinkle, though the rest of his this generous Bpauiurd, aud there can f?atnres remained quite grave through be uo doubt that lie was one of the an out. As I said, it was only for a mo cestors of the Pacheco fam ily, whose ment ; then be resumed his sermon as name is obviously derived from his and before. who still own the caves. This carried “ ‘ What was the matter?’ I asked them back about 2,000 years, to a jieriod when church was out and we were ou antedating the Christian era, but it is our w ay heme. possible to trace tho line much further. . ” ‘ W hy, I came so near laughing ont Tho name is clearly of Phoenician origin, in church that there whb no fun iu i t ,’ being ultim ately derived from “ patai- hn said. ‘Of conrse the choir is hidden c o i,” tbe word by which the Tyrians from the congregation behind its pro designated the carved figurehead of tecting screen in the reurof tbe chnrch, their galleys. but it cbunces to be exactly in my line The identification is made more com of vision as I stand ou the rostrum. plete by tho fact that the Phoenicians When I stopped in my sermon today, it were tho founders of Carteia, as of Cad was because I happened to glance choir- iz in tho same province. That ndds ward and suw onr new soprano and uew another 1,000 years or so to the Pacheco 1 tenor having a quiet game of cards be pedigree. Think of it—a landed estate hind tbe screen. They must have felt remaining in the possession of tho my gaze upon them, for when they same family for 8,000 years! T h is.Is looked np and caught my eye those doubtless the most wonderful fam ily cards disappeared so suddenly aud m ys tree iu tho world aud unusually well teriously I thought that iu spite of ev authenticated. The Pachecos mny w ell : erything 1 should burst out luugliiug. " bo pardoned for taking pride iu it, —Philadelphia Times. though it roots in rather unsavory soil at last, for the great original Pacheco ORIGINAL TACTICS. was evidently a Tyrian freebooter. Nantes that traco back to tlio Cartha U nlqtae M a n u a l o f A rm s P re p a re d b y MlC i- ginian occupation iu tbe tim e of Han t r a H ill y .“ nibal aro also found, turi the title of The most remarkable company of sol HauuilMil's own clan, Barca, is pciqiet- uated by the Barelas and Garcias, w ell diers ever drilled in this country fonght known fam iliea of Andalusia. There under "Extra B illy ” Smith, tw ice gov- are also several names of Roman ante ernorof Virginia. He acquired tbe nick cedents, as Ponce and Cam-, in Butin name tlirougii connection w ith the e x Pontius and Canius. A Hpaulsh gentle tensive m ill contracts which he had be man lx-aring tbe latter name was a per fore the wnr, his charge to the govern sonal friend of the poet Martial, all of ment of “ extra work" on his star routes w hich seems to bring antiquity very bt iiig so frequent nnd large as to keep near— in Spain. The fact of tbe matter the postofficu department iu a stale of is she has never emerged from antiquity. constant ferment. He was a grand old man of the rough, Tho Spanish, however, are inclined to look Itnek totn o Goths as "the purest honest type of " B lu e .lean»" W ill nun«, fountain of nobility. ” This certainly Lincoln, Thurman, Jerry Rusk, Craw seems u strange perversion of seiitimcut, ford and Jtnkius His education bad for of all the Larbarimts that tam e down been sadly neglected, but lie owned from the north to lay wusle Roman civ brains tn spare and horse sense enough ilization w ith fire ami sword tho Goths, for three ordinary governors H edrilled w ith their cousins, the Vandals, were Ilia men according t n " ‘ Extra B illy 's’ Tactics," au unpublished munual of tho most irredeemably villainous And there Goths were i:o extraordi nruiH. A drill lesson: Colonel "Extra B il nary heroes either, even iu war. With supine and braggart incompetency tiicy ly ” — Now, boys, git yo'selvrs in perai lott to tlio Moors in tbe eight months’ tion. Are yo' ready? Tote am is! De campaigu n supremacy whit h it cost liver urnis! Rest yo’ muskets! Tote eight centuries of cnuflict to regain arms! Ground yo’ rides! That'» inl'ble Yet “ Gothic of Spain" is I lie pt t phrase. gixid. Are you reailv again? W ell, here To a rank outsider it would set in that we go. Fix yo'stick ers! ( Fix Imyouets ) the Basque fam ilies have ihe most hon Now charge ’em and stick 'em I Guo day lie led his men into a blind orable lineage, and their iiedigrccs run luick to time immemorial, though not lane about a mile loug, nnd arriving nt easily traceable. The Basque» represent tho end could net see bis way out e x the original population of the iSixiuish cept by tearing down fences and going peninsula. Their wwt is tbe mountains through a Wheatfield gunnlrd by mi of tbe northern district, ami in muny angry farmer w ith a dangeroe-» looking ways remind uh of the Welsh. They gun. The objective point w t the oppo have the same sim plicity of life, aud site sido of tbe field. After studying the same really justifiable pride of birth, gravely the situutiru be gavo the order, for their blood is the parent in Spain, if "bisbum l, boys, an n u et me tomerrer that conuts for anything. Like the morn in in the tntli<rside of the field Welsh also, tiiey have to a considerable whar we aimed to git th is eveuiug. extent maintained their ancient lan KauHii» City Journal. guage, one of the strangest w hich sur I I . C n d e rs to o d . vive upon tbe earth, bearing no reariu- After she had studied the French bill blacce to any other iu Europe. of fare for a moment Mrs. Porkenham These Lhuqne fam ilii». for the most of Chicago turned to the waiter and part, bear uami-s which appear to be asked: geographical in tbeir origin, a» U>urte, "Docs on understand Eenglrse?” meaning "between water»;' Zobiu. "Oh, yea. 1 talk it almost like a na "the bridge:” Ibarra, “ the va lley " —a tive, ” lie replied. “ I wus bom and style which reminds us of our Atueru an brought np in Indiana.” Indians, although it 1» foetid more or After that she lia<l no appetite.— less all over tbe worlil TLe tunimm Cleveland Leader. tiun "ez, ” so coniinou in > |«u ish nanus, is Basque, aud signifies " so n ,” as i’erex, son of Peter, exactly like our “ W h y,” asked tbo lay figure, “ do own Peterson. —Pitt«burg Dispatch. yon call It a jimmy?” The burglar shook his head sadly. A L ig h t L aorhedm . " W e ll,” he answered and b is re B ill—Did yon ever try any of Sm all's gret w as apparent, ” 1 snpposo I am 25 cent dinners? J ill— Y es. la t e three of them today rather more fam iliar w ith it than I ought to be. Yes. ” — Detroit Journal at noon.— Yonkers statesm an. And Not dan... attui o > p » 7 D a a a la c G l r U o f B ovlllo. In The Century Mr. Stephen Bonsai w rites of “ Holy Week In S «viH a” Ho a a y i: On returning homeward w e enter a gypsy garden, where, In bowers of jasmine aud honeysuckle, tbe Gaditun dancing girls disport them selves as they did in the days of the poet Martial. Penthelnsa is aa graceful and as lissom today as when, in tbo ages gone, she captured Pompey w ith her subtle dance—aa when Martial de scanted upon her beauties and graces in classic words centuries ago The hotel keepers in Seville are gen erally very careful to introduce their patrons only to gardens where the B ow dlerized editions of the dance are per formed, but 1 commend to those w h o think they can “ ait it on t” the archaio versions w hich are danced naturally to day, as they were in the days of th e Ctcsars, by light limbed enchaiuers of hearts and flamenca girls w ith brown skins and cheeks that are soft like tbe aide of tbe peach which is turned to th e ripening ann, and in their dark, lus trous eyes you read as plain as print tb e story of the sorrows and the joys o f a thousand years of living. Now they dance about w ith the grace of honris, ‘the abandon of micnada or c f nymphs before Actsuon peeped, and now, wbnu the dance is over, the mo ment cf madness past, t.* y cover their foot w ilh shawls, that you may not see how duinty they are, aud withdraw se dately nnd sad from tho merry circle nnd sit for hm m under tbe banana trace, crooning softly some mournfni cupiet in. the crooked gypsy tongue. f ulght petals Itgatl the sai 4 ÜOWB from 0 r o . tors 'e lle — . .«m orti A . Boot lb ÈNTE ; . r T im i : in th ïned by li rocoi n 1701 Leeds. T nnd I his nei Not bo aut, he J tu t Lika • GlrU He is a very young boy. H is la ttw age when a lefty contem pt for tbe oppo site sex m anifests itself, the contem pt which usually finds merciless ratribo- tion in later years. H is task of w atching the baby 1 not as distressing as it m ight have I He lied utilized the bassinet as • cra dle and had fnnnd a place where th e floor alnped a little. Behind tho veh icle he extended h im self and w ith head on hand proceeded to read a story paper. An occasional pull at a string fastened to the rear axle imparted the motion necessary to keep tho slumberer from waking. B nt tbe baby soon bad its nap ont and began to cry. The boy paid no attention to the noise, and after aw h ile h is sister came to investigate. "1 suppose yon ora going to lie there and w ait for tlio baby to learn to talk so it can tell yon w h at it's crying abont?” “ N o;” he answered, "being able Io talk w ouldn't make much difference.” "W hy uot?” "B ecause It’s a girl. C lrls n ever know w hat they'ro crying about. It jnst comes natural to them to do i t . ” — Pearson's Weekly. H . T a m e d th e Laugh. President O 'flaulnu of tho P enning ton ( N. J .) seminary osed to preach every Monday morning at Oceen Grove, and .sis of bis regular bearers w as a good Methodist brother w ho used to shout " G lory1." whenever anything pleased him. (Jneo in aw h ile th is shout would como in at au inopportune m o ment. After Dr. O’Hanlon had bran preach- iug on Monday mornings for a number of years he aroso cue day to announce his text. li e introduced b’s remarks w ith these words: "B retbrtu, 1 have been preaching here at Ocean Grove ou Monday morniuga for a number f t years, bnt some <ff these days when yon are gathered her«» 1 w ill lie missing, for the graaii w ill bo growing over my grave. ” Jnst thcu tho i houter uttered a shrill "Oh, G-l-o-r-y I” Sedate aw waa that congregation, them , w ent up a hearty laugh. The doctor ; was equal to the orcasion. He put b it bauds iu h is pocket«, leaned hock and said, “ W ell, brother, what have yon got ogaiust me?" Tbo langh w as turn ed, order w as anrn restored, nnd the doctor preached w ith bi« n.uul cower and acceptability — Now York Tribaoe. The dead heroea cf the Buena Vista battlefleld, whtre (1,000 American vel- n n teen uuder General Zachary Taylor defentrd 20,000 Mexicau» nnd»* ' Anna after a desperate re-* tle, Ile iu a Der»- spot noar B»1** accordi virtu al tr t iny lorn aastcr, ” • apon r O : K t off and a« u never herlond ech a rg cd to pi (right. ;be aari«' upop tl lept the itcuced plea of aiitlal itial rail ico u rtt :e of di 80 yeui lat th o « « own the fins mid ke<’ ck and if Cntsk (ore hii U critm |l«icisioi tte deu no don the tin tberb’.ui He «ch .< inuuu ears. brokeu justiis »that c ilicty-ui th«i ,t peuul ...ted. F' id belo: ' jndge« iw s hail forgot i uone wl j sen’cL 3U that oily to 1 tow luga I of sell en b u ll knndrvd cot alone U I to be I pli