* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ^ * * * ^ * * * ^ ^ Constipation
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
HOT IILOOD IX CAMP.
A R M Y QUARRELS T H A T ALM OST EN D
E D IN
Th.
I
»tery or a
T R A G E D IE S .
C a p ta in W h o B e d M o rd er
I n H is H e a r t—A F ier y L ie u te n a n t C o lo
n e l W h o W a n te d to K ill H U S o p o rtar
O u t e r —A P e a c e m a k in g A d ju ta n t.
A D eadly O u .
Millers and the owners of grain ite
rators look upon tho bisulphide of ,ar-
bon us one of their most useful agents.
When a mill, nu elevntor or a granary
becomes iufosted with weevil, bisul
phide of carbon is the cheapest and
most effective thing to exterminate (he
pest. So deadly is tho gas, however,
and so rapidly does it act thut the ut
most care must be taken iu applying
the bisulphide. It is usually sprinkled
over the graiu from watering pots. Tho
liquid is rapidly converted into a gas.
i.nd the lutter sinks through the graiu,
carrying death to the weevil aud even
to the uubutched eggs.
80 long as the persons applying the
liquid stand above the point of applica
tion they uro pretty safe from tho
fumes, but occasionally the workmen
Ireatho a little of the gas und have to
le removed at once to the opeu uir, as
the heart is quickly paralyzed by tbe
actiou of the bisulphide. It is usual to
treat tbe lower floors of a granary first,
so thut those employed iuthe work may
keep constantly ubqve the gHs. Auy
animul, as u cut or a dog, shnt up in un
apartment where tbe bisulphide is do
ing its work is found dead wbuu the
place is opeuud.—Chicago Inter-Ooeuu.
LIFE IX A WARDROOM
T H E O F F IC E R S ' Q U A R T E R S O N B O A R D
A M A N -O F -W A R .
W h e r e A ll E x c e p t th e C a m m u d e r E at.
L ive e n d H ave T h e ir S o c ia l U e la g —N a v a l
E tiq u e t te le o la te e th e M ea W h o m A ll
O tliere o a H oard Moat O bey.
Causes fully half the sickness In the world. It
retains the digested food too long in the bowels
aud produces blhousness, torpid liver, bulk
Hood’s
g e it'o a , bad taste, coated
tuugue, sick headache, lo-
■omnia, etc. Hood's Pills
cure nonstl|Mtfion and all Its
results, easily and thoroughly. 25c. AU druggist«.
Prepared by C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell. Mas«.
T h e ouly Pills to take w ith Hood's Sarsaparilla.
Pills
The Magic uf a Word.
A party of gentlemen but recently re
turned from 11 metropolitan (ity tell a
1 cow story ou tbe leisurely bellboy.
They were stopping at a big hotel, and
on tbo first evening of their visit were
seized with a mighty thirst, bat which
they believed plain ice water would us-
snage. One of them stepp'd to the bell-
push. It was one of those new fangled
things built on tbe principle << a dollar
typewriter. Yon turn the hand around
A jo dial till it points to what yon want,
then you press tbe button, aud tbe biwi-
, ness office is supposed to do tbe rest
The instrument was caused to register
ice water a number of times iu the re-
i pions below, but there was no responso.
; The thirst kept ou increasing and the
gentlemen got hot iu tbe collar. Oue of
them spoke of going down and challeng
ing tbe clerk aud the bellboys to a box
ing match.
"No, don’t do that,” remarked one
of tbe gentlemen. “ Just watch me—
I’ll bet I’ll get ’em .”
He pranced over to the bell, yanked
the crunk around to “ champagne” aud
let it drive. Iq an incredibly short time
there was a knock at tho door, and tbe
hoy stack his bead in.
“ Champagne, gentlemen?"
"No, just bring us somo plain, every
day, onmrnou water with ice in it. We
rang for champagne just to catch yon
napping. Now get a move on you. ”—
Galveston News.
MA HEZ GOT EH BICYCLE.
(tar. ma h«a (fot PT bieyela!
You’d ought vr w*
try
Up in do imrn. w h w pa * away,
To learn It on dc aly
Bhe’a boun' ter keep de rircua up
Till h I io kin ride all i lk«’
An den how pai’H b»'
An hay, “ Dat'a outer right!
She m j a aho ain’t er goin ter wait
Till who «it« old an gTay
(She's fifty now an none too «pry),
But, Lor’, bhe'a glttin gnyl
She sr.jH, any»«
MI don't purpose
Ter lot dat Mro. Crust
Put on deni air» on Llcomcr cloth««
An ir.aku mo tnku her dusi!
But pa, ha'a on to her, all right,
'Cnuae t ’other day I -spied
Him peekin t ’rough dc barn coor where
She’s learniu how ter ride.
You'd oughter u r n him —bully geo.
De »pamuM <1«t he’d git
Er try in not ter lnff w u i ’nuff
To make yer I’row a fit!
He’d tc.ke a peep, nn den he’d
His mout' ahet wid his ban'
An squirm nn stomp nn s mu ter roun
Enough iei bent de ban'.
An nil de while, inside do barn.
Ma iearniu in u walk.
A-whirrin an athum pin roun’
An usin Bible tulk!
SICK HEADACHE
Is the Bane of Many a Woman’s Life-How
the Disease may be Cured.
A Case Cited, .
fro m Ih» Republican, Bclhanp, ito .
FannieB.Rtnffle.
of
M a rlin tv ilk ,
p «nil»»» a ».
____
Mo., | great fa itli in Dr. William«’ Pink Pin, fc.
* .
.i
• im« which u euri y T u le 1 auplc, inaiMtad tliat 1 oauiiuenc»
eopie iiMMeu tnut I commence usin.
* 1 1 Ixtely rescued fin al a fill« which ucurly
them . 1 lliia lly consented lo try them
Ah*
ta k in g a few doses I coulJ ,ee a„ im p,„ "7
wrecked her life.
I t Beema «he luu for m any years been m em and m y lieuduche spells were not L
eeverely afflicted with a complication o f dia- eevere. I ( k «P
„„H I ] | |„g
e p t ta k in g the p i ill,
ll, until
ea.ee aud frequently would have feurlul at- used four lioxea, and «nice thut tim e I h u t.
*.........
.
'«»•
I Lave
never r.n
felt
taeki in which el.e would become uucoueoioua not had any o f those u iU v k a a u d i 1 uevtr
•o w ell in my life .
ended the p ill, to „
f° i n one o f these, «he wae unconaclous tor
a I have
IIB .C recom
r r e o . i l m
. , iemie.1
, many hours. H e r condition te ea iiie s la rin liig ; friem la and several have used t h r u with eoJ
the UMual restoratives failed to bring relict, results.
“ I am alw ays glad to te ll o f the vrrsi
the physician’s aid proved unavailng and
death eeemed im m inent.
She recovered, lieuelit I received from D r. W illiam s* l i„|r
however, aud th a t ahe lives to-day la won- f i l l s tor P ale People, for now I feel as I hoi,.I
I was the Im p p lr it, most rontentril woman la
the w orld, for w ith good health wlm cannot
A reporter who waa le n t to Investigate
wheu lie met Mrs. «Piffle could not help but but be h a p p y ? ”
M re, Stolrfe is a sister o f Joseph Hollsnd of
remark " how well alio wae lo oking’ and
i could scarcely realiko that »lie had pasted B ethany, who ia w e ll know n throughout the
county,
h a v in g been a rniididiite M r sheriff
throuifh such a tryin g ordeal ae had been
represented. In speaking o f her experience, at the election o f IHthi. H e r perenls are Mr
and Mrs. G. W .C u rtis s , o f E a g le v ille , ahow rli
Mrs. S n iffle said :
.
" I used lo have terrible sick headaches, know n in this co u n ty.
N o discovery o f m odern times has prova)
which I had as far hack ns I can remember,
in recent years they were gelt ill!? worse. I such a boon to wom en aa D r. W illia m s ’ p|„k
would suffer so that I would become un- P ills for Pale People. A c tin g direellynu I ho
' conscious, und the last one I hail I was un- blood anil nerves, in v ig o ra tin g the la d y , rrgn.
I conscious from «-yen in the evening u n til la tin g the functions, they restore the strength
after m idnight. I was so had that the doc and health to the rxheusted woman when
tor could not get the medicine in iny mouth, every effort o f th e physician proves un.
but had to give me a hypodermic injection. availing.
These p ills are recognized everywhere s,
The doctor said I was lik e ly to die in one of
a specific fur diseases o f the blood and nerves
those spells.”
” A few years a go. I took treatm ent o f a Fo r paralysis, locom otor ntnzis, and mho,
■peidalist in Kansas C ity, but it only relieved diseases long supposed incurable, they huvs
proved th e ir efficacy in thousands o f ' eases.
me for a while.
" When I came here two years ago rav T r u l y th e y are one o f the greatest blessiam
health waa miserable. M y husband who had e ve r bestowed upon m a n k in d .
"Tragwlies lu our owu campa, out
The wardroom oun man-of-war is tbe
side of battles, were more common than
Den pa, he had tor give It up
living place of all tho older officers of
— tho public known, ” suit! u diatinguiahod
An started on u run
the ship, with one exception, tho corn-
An
t row himself upon do grass—
soldier.
maudiug officer. Ho lives by himself,
Ixor', you should seen tie funl
•‘The shooting of Major General N el
He'd
roll un laugh uu holier like
has his own cabins, bis own mess, his
H e’d gone elean off his base;
son at Louisville by Brigadier General
owu servants. Naval etiquette and cus
*Twas better dan n circus show
Jeff C. Davis because Nelson in a fit of
An bent u later lace.
tom huve established this habit of isola
anger hud called Davis a loug string of
tion for tbe man on tho ship who lius
Den pa, wheu he’d got sobered down,
hard names, is ono of the few thut camo
commuud of ull the rest. The reason is
Went in ter git bis ten,
An himeby ma eoir.e sucukin in
to the surface. You wouldn't think it
undoubtedly to be found in tho very
Cz suf'ly ex could lie.
fact that ho represents extraordinary
proba lily, but I myself wusouce so close
Bho had er lump above her eya,
power. Under theso circumstances any
to u tragedy that it mokes my gray hair
Besides her nose wuz shun,
attempt to forget tbe superiority of his
An pa, he ast her, soberliko,
rise up as I recall i t
“ Why, n:a, what hev yer douef”
rank by means of a common cabin or
•'W hile» number of officers of the
metwrooni for iaini and his subordinates
regimout were in the major's tent I said
Well, ma, she says, says she, “ I clum
wonid ouly result iu embarrassment on
Do ladder on de mow
something that a captain took oxeop-
Ter gather nigs, nn den I fell
both sides.
t intis to, and a war of words followed.
E ight on dcr sulky plow ,”
This does not mean that he may not
When ho plumped out, ‘You are a liar I'
Au pa, he took er gulp of tea
be sociable, for much depends upon tho
1 struck out with my right and sot him
Ter keep fiom bn«tin out.
man. But it is safe to say that any show
But, Lor', he couldn't keep it in
to bleeding, lie came buck at me like a
An spouttcied ull erbout.
of effusiveness among those who live
tiger cat Wo clinched aud for three or
A C uban A lilk m a a .
abaft tbe must must comefroru bis side,
R ough on Solom on.
four minutes hud it hot and sharp; then
Den
ma got mad all t'rough an t'rough
“ How many cows thero urealout the if bo wishes it to be general. Tbe situa
An bristled up; says «he:
the others separated un. He mado ull
Tho
following
incident happened nt
streets
I”
somebody
exclaims,
aud
then
“ Now, you look here, John Henry Junes,
sorts of threats. I was adjutant. He be is calmly informed that the morn tion is a delicate one
one of tho “ cateclieosms” which are
Don't come yer gibe« on me!
lu
tho
freer
air
of
tho
wardroom
wo
rnuked me, und I confess thut for a timo ing's milk is simply being delivered.
hold periodically in Scotlund for ull tho
Ef you ain't got no feelin's for
I did fear ho would make mu trouble in A bunch of cuttle uud their driver stop find from 10 to 20 officers living togeth
Yer lawful wedded wife
mombors of tho kirk of u certuiu dis
S h o r e C a rg o es S h ifte d .
When she gits hurt o-doin chorea.
the way of court martial, but tho mut before u bouse, aud the portcro comes er, tbo number varying with the size of
trict.
I'll
quit
yer
now
fer
life!”
the ship. Their ages muy range from 25
ter seemed to blow over.
".Onco in awhile we read, ” said Mr.
“Tho lesson was in Ecclesiastes, ” says
out with a cup for the morning’s sup
"One fall afternoon tho captain invit ply. It is seen then that the cows are to 60, and they arc of ull ranks abovo Bozzle, "that tho ship So-and-so or tho
Eut pa, ho coughed an snickered some.
Mr. Johnston, ‘‘and ouo day they hud
An den he got his hat
ed mo to take u walk with him. Think being milked from door to door by tbe that of uuval cadet, and of all corps. , steamer So-uud-so has returned to port,
been discussing tho verso iu which Solo
An went down to der grocery storo
ing that our troubles liad completely dairymen, for this is the way the acuto Engineer officers, lino officers, medical or lias arrived perhaps with ‘a decidod
mon says, ’Among u thousand men I
Wat’s kep’ by Jimmy Pratt,
officers,
marine
officers,
ono
pay
officer
healed, I consented. Ou the wuy buck Cubuu housewives have taken to assure
list; cargo shifted.' Sometimes wo seo
An mu, she went into de barn—
have found ouo, but among a thousand
and
one
chaplain,
may
all
bo
included
to camp we passed through an orchard. for their tuldes a lacteal supply which
a laud craft, a truck, with cargo shift
Lor’, sho w uz mad ez fits—
women huvo I found uot ouo, ’ moaning
in tho wardroom of a large ship. These ed—a big pi io of boxes, towering high,
I saw her tuko de ax an smash
I climbed n tree to get some apples. is entirely fresh and absolutely pure.
one just aud good und upright. And
Her
bicycle ter bits
men live in staterooms arranged about a shaken over to one side or the other by
Just as I reached for nu apple 1 suw the
—Boston Globa.
Even with tho cows milked beforo
nn old Scotchwoman, when sho hurl
captain reach for his revolver und glare the door one most continue to wuteh common spice, which is known as tho continued jolting along on tbo side of
T H K C H R O N IC L B rank« w ith tha «real««
listened iu silenoe and heard tho rest
at mu like a very fiend. Instantly I loos tho milkman, for I have even heard of "wardroom country. ’’ This assumption the street 011 tho slope.
•ew ap »i*p s in the U n i toil state«.
Hia Enslacuaa.
ncoept it ns present and gospel truth, g o t' T H K C IIK O N IC L K ha« no equal on tlie I'aolla
ened my hold and dropped to the ground. their having u rubber hag of water con of a spice of prairiciike dimensions is
"A load thus shifted cau't be shaken
her dander up aud roso to her feet.
Uaaat. I t lead« all In a b ility , enterprise and new».
Seizing a stake, 1 took my pluce by his cealed under their loose frocks and con comparatively truthful in the cramped back by running along on the opposite
“ ‘Hoot!’ she said indignantly, her I T H K C if R O N IC L K ’ rt Telegraphic Reports ire
quarters
of
a
ship.
In
this
"country”
side and said, ‘Now, you cowardly dog, nected with a rnbber tulie running
slope of the road. It is like a stick of
the latent and moat reliab le, ita Local News uie
eyes blazing. ‘Do you find why that fullent
and spiel eat, and IU Editorial« from tha
put up thut gun or I ’ll brain yon.' This down inside cf tho sleeve, its tip beiug exists tho social lifo of tlie wardroom. wood that has been bent and kept bent
was?
It
was
because
tin
e
dacout
woman
ablest
pen« In the country,
time lie was kept ou a hot griddle for u conceuled iu tho hollow of tho milking Hero these men of varied callings, yet till tho grain is set. Whatever you do
T H E C IIK O M IC L K ha«alw ay« been, and always
wud
be
seen
iu
his
company.
’
”—Mil
month, though I made no threats and huud. Ouly a gentle pressuro upon the all of tho sea’s following, live, move with it the crook stays iu.
w ill be, the friend and cham pion of the peo<il« m
waukee Wisconsin.
against com binations, cliques, corporation«, <x
hud no thought cf reporting his attempt bug of wuter within is needed to thus aud have their social beiug.
"If caro is exercised in turning cor
oppression« of any k in d . I t w ill be ludepeudaat
A day spent iu a wardroom by a land- : ners and in unvigatiug generally, the
to assassinate me.
oauso both milk and wuter to flow into
la evaryUUug n eu tral lu u o th lo f.
H o w , In d e e d ?
"The next fight we got into wo made tho cup at tho sama time. Tbe milk lubber would reveal muny interesting i shifted load cau usually be curried to
She—Do
you
believe
iu
platonic
love?
;
differences
between
uuval
officers
aud
up for good aud ull and reiuaiuod fust venders of Ituly aud Iudin have also
its destination ns it is without upsetting,
Ho—I hardly know. Do you?
friends uutil the flnul round up, when learned their 'trade to perfection, for their brethren on shore To begin with, though it may work harder. The expe
She—Well, of course there may bo
General Joe Johnston had his men they practice this identical trick.—Ed they are more cosmopolitan iu their rienced truckfluan knows just what cau
inch a thing, but—but—well, between
throw down their gnus and go homo to ward Pugo Gaston in Woman’s Home spuch. The men iu our wardrooms uro bo done with it, and whether it has
gathered together from all parts of tbo shifted as far ns it w ill go, and ull that.
two such people ns you aud—nud—
‘make a crox.' It happened iu this way: Companion.
Union. Local discussions And but an If it is so badly shifted as to make the
He—No, not between you and me.
The colonel had given the order to form
uninterested nudieuce, or even a derisive operation of tbe track difficult or dun- .
A ll, Helen, platonic love would uot do
line of battle. As udjuluut it wus my
A S in g u la r C alcu lation «
for me I I must speak. Cun you—cau
duty to aoe that tach captain carried
In a recent number of Power 11 singu one, so that a uuval officer gets neens- gerous, ho hauls to 0110 side by tbe curb
you—
out tho order. Wheu I readied tho lar calculation is presented by J. A. torned to speak and think of all tho 45 and anchors—that is—to say, he halts
would bo assassin and bad performed Iienin. It. would require, according to states as belonging equully to him. Out and unloads the shifted top courses of
She—Oh, Alfred, how did you guess
und then reloads aud makes
my duty and sturted to go away, lie Mr. Itouie's tigures, tbe power of u 10,- side of his own country
my secret?—Chicago News.
- he
. is so great a , bis cargo
„ -------------
oalled out, ‘Adjutant, come buck.' 000 horsepower eugiuo about 70,000,- traveler that very few civilians can keep everything trim and secure and sets out
, - - . .... ... - ' ■' — M
When I complied, he took my baud, 000,000 years to lift the earth u foot in np with tho way ho skips iu couversu- again."—New York Suu.
A F an cied Im m u n ity.
_______________
The Tall One—You fought for your
looked mo squarely iu the eye aud said; height, uud to do this work, allowing tiou from Chiua to Pern or to Tasma- I
“
Weren’t
you afraid of tho bullets?”
P r a c tic a l, b a , Coi<l ltio a d c d .
country, and I will always look up to
‘Lieutenant, can you forgive me for all 13 pounds < f water per horsepower per nia. Other characteristics that are ■
she asked of the soldier.
of my meanness to you? 1 hopo so. I hour, would require some 10,000,000,- quickly uotieeable are his simplicity,
I have a friend hero in town, a young you.—New York Journal.
“ Not a bit," ho answered.
have never had a good hour since that 000,000,000,000 gallons of wnter, or his cheerfulness and his heartiness. Tho business woman, whoso common sense
You felt as if you had a charmed
wardroom
is
constantly
resounding
with
D
e
cen
era
te
A
ga.
incident in the orchard. ’
is enough to make cue’s blood run cold
more than would be discharged at tho
Dr. Pike—Tho debasing spirit of lifo?"
" ‘With all my heart, captain. No mouth of tbe Mississippi in 00,000 laughter The meu iu it are healthier at times. I went to see her uew flat
"Not exactly. But after I get my
one but you sud myself knowsauythiug years. This would beeuough, the writer than men who live iu houses. They get n few days ago, and I was delight commercialism has affected even our
system thoroughly lined with hard tuck
up earlier in tho morning und go to bed ed with a cushioned divan in one profession.
about . that
ulfnir.'
, , little
,
..
,
, estimates, to cover tho entire surface of
I was reasonably confident that uo bul-
Wallace—Quacks and nil that?
As I stud, nothing else came up to the earth to a depth of about 800 tcet, earlier at night. Mostof our wardrooms corner of her sitting room. It was, as
separate
us . n whilo
tho
We
ir n ta n
l i i k , I in
,, n
, n , nrmy.
,n „ v
vv„ jo convert which into steam, nsing good are bustling with officers nt 7 o'clock iu many divans tbut belong to young busi
•'I wasn’t thinking of that so much ' let was going to penetrate far enough
never met after being mustered out. Ho boilers, would require somo 4,000,000,- tho morning
I ness women are, a box with a hinged as of the way classical learning has to do much damage. "—Washington
A glance at tho breakfast tablo shows lid, but as it had handles on it and was fallen into disrepute. Nine times out Star.
died three years ugo, Of courso I could 000,000,000 tons of oeal. If the latter
hove sent higi out of the army in dis quautity of the mineral was loaded cu the senior lino offleer presiding, and the bound with iron bands and was alto of ten nowadays u rich man is not im
A P rob lem .
grace and piacod hill, iu the peniten ears of 20 tons cneh, it wonid deuiund other officers placed near him according gether so nmeh stronger ami nioro de- pressed iu the least by one's giving his ! “ Da doctor says yo’ inns’ drink lots
to
rank.
At
tho
other
end
of
the
table
tiary after ho was out, but I've always 200,000,000,000,000 mob oars. If tho
sirable than divan boxes nsnnlly are, I compluinta Latin name. "—Cincinnati o’ chicken broth, Ephram, ’’ said Mrs
been glad I did not He was a good sol latter were 80 feet loug and all coupled is tho man who bus lieen elected by his asked bor where she bought it.
Enquirer.
Johnson, "au stay in out o’ de night
dier in battle, as iinivo as thoy made together In one train, it would reach messmates to direct tho catering of the
“ I didn’t buy it ,” said she. "It was
air.”
V’ted a Gun.
them, bat a bulldog in camp. Ho left around tbo eurtb 46,000,000 times aud, mess. Between this early meal aud tho given to me. You know tho woman
“ Huh!" answered her husband scorn
" I’ll tell you what it is,” exclaimed
Itbe army a major. Ilis name? Never if rntiuing 25 miles per hour, would breakfast proper, which cornea at half where I boarded lust year came into a
fully. “ Whar ho 'spects I’m gwiue ter
mind thut It is a true story. I wish it eouNume 25,000,000 years iu running past 11 or 12 o’clock, there is not much lot of money through the death of het the editor of a yellow journal "the git de chicken broth from cf I has ter ,
T h e C h r o n ic le R u ild tn j«
were uot, for I cannot forget that nt one the length of itself. So much for "fig lifo in tho wardroom, for th o daily mil grandfather. Thu old gentleman died in days aro mighty few when we don’t
stay
in
nights,
huh?”—Town
Topics.
i
make
a
h
it."
itary
routine
is
full
of
drills
and
exer
time in my life 1 was in a fair way to ures. ”
Florida, und the remains were sent hero.
cises which keep most of the officers ou They were in n mahogany coffin, and
T H E
D A IL Y
Whereat a bystander quietly inter
bo murdered. ”
A« H e V iew ed I L
A n E d ito r 's H ard L ot.
deck. There are drills with great guns the coffin—w ell”—nud she kicked the posed, “ Of course you use a fowling
"Report to your headquarters under
By M a’I« P c « a j e Paid.
Towne—I
don’t
seo
how
it
comes
that
1
arrest, sir.”
There are always those who w ill kick. and with small arms, drills in clearing divan with her heels—“ the coffin was piece?”—Bcstou Courier.
shipwrecked sailors often starve to
Tbo colonel of a western regiment For instance, if you publish jokes with ship for actiou, drills in handling am- in this. I didn't sec any reason for let
death.
A l l A g re e d .
hissed that rcmnrk to bis lieuteuaut whiskers on them some w ill say that munition uud many others—nil of them ting the box go to waste, nud it makes
Browne—Why not?
“ Fellows, you wouldn’t take me to
colonel as he dismissed tho parade ouo you ought to be iu a lnnatio joint. If rootiil iu the one idea that yon innst a lovely couch. Don’t you thick so?”
Towne—Well, I camo across about,'
preserve
your
own
life
by
destroying
be
a
member
of
a
millionaire's
iamilv
evening in December, 1804, u few utiles yon don t print something to smilo at,
And of course it does, bat then—after
two weeks ago, and I don’t feel like
back of Petersburg.
they say you are u pessimistic fossil. If thut of your enemy.
all, it ’s well to bo practical like that.— would you?”
eating yet.—Brooklyn Life.
As soon us au offleer returns to tho Washington Post.
“ Frankly, we would not."
"I refuse to go, d------you," was tbo you spreud yourself and write a good,
raply.
"Neither would tbo millionaire I
original article, they w ill say it is wardroom from one drill and begins a
His War D ates.
asked him last night.
St. Louis Post-
"Adjutant, Fee that Lieutenant Colo- | stolen. If you reprint an article, they conversation or [lerhaps hums a song ho
L it t le M a rb le I m p o r te d N ow ,
A.» 0““»
nientiou tho most famous '
Dispatch.
■el Blank goes to bis quarters ut onco," say you can’t write. If you say a de is iutcrrnpted by tho tingles on deck aud
Tbo importation cf marble to the
dates of the war?”
Thi Gnit st Weekly ¡1 the foulrj.
must
buckle
on
his
sword
ami
return
to
said the angry colonel, who was iu tbe serving word for u matt, you aro partiul;
United States lias almost ceased. It is
R ou gh on Do D odo,
"Guess
I
can.
There’s
Feb.
7."
another
drill.
right, for the lieutenant colonel, who if you compliment tbe women, tbe meu
only uow and then that a cargo arrives
’’Feb. 7? What happened then?"
De Dudo (who does not like a very
At every cull to quarters nil officers at this port, while a few years ago a
had been driukiug, had disobeyed or aro jealous, and if you don't the verdict
high collar)—These collars are Tery TbeFate^r' i “ Ret''" thi"Ka “ ,xed'
ders.
of the women is to the effect thut your must report themselves ready for duty fleet of sailing vessels brought many high. Show me something lower
i
t.,th day 1 was married. "—Cleve
(In c lu d in g poR'ige) to anv part of the U nited
Tbe adjutant knew liotli officers well, papw is uot fit to use in the ouustruc Tbe chaplain aud paymaster, having cargoes annually from the famous Car
,
Ktates C anada an 1 Mexico.
Salesgirl (with dignity,-Those are land Flam Dealer.
and that it would not do for them to tion of a bustle. If you stay in your much less to do with drills than tho rara quarries iu Italy to Philadelphia.
T
K K W R K K L Y C H U O N IC L K . tbe b r i g h t «
«nine together that night He had a office, you are afraid to remain ou the other officers, are usnully the first to be Marble buildings seem to bo becomitg the cheapest we have, sir We den t
and most com plete W e e k ly new spaper I» tbe
«irrry timo of it k.-eping them n|*irt. atreeta; if you do, you are lazy. If yon back in the wardroom, where there is things of tbe past, and tho tombstone keep slopshop goeds.—New York Week-
world, prints reg ularly 81 columns, or tw elr«
pages.of Ne.vs, L ite n tu r e an 1 le ie r a l Info r n*-
The lienteuunt colonel would jump up lisik seedy, you are squandering your other work for them. The medical offi makers find little demand for marble
Uen;al«oa m Agiiltlcent • jric u ltu ra l Department.
and start for the cabin door with a lnouey ; if you wear good clothes, you cer has gone forward to tbe sick bay to tomb«, slabs or monuments. Granite
H . o p e r k ' . O p io lo a .
SAMPLE COPIES 3 -riT FR-6-
threat to go to the colonel's quurtors are a dude, and don’t pay for them. If look after his pa I lent a
bus taken tho place of marble every
•‘P’-ofessor Brainard is the brainiest
Wheu tho midday breakfast comes,
and cut him down with his sword. He you play a fficial gume of any kind and
where, even in tho cemeteries, where man that ever lived.”
= ! do v o u w a n t the
was a powerful man, able to carry out get stuck, you are a fish; if you win, there is the first breathing space for a marble shafts und slabs were formerly
"Indeed!”
his threat unless the colonel should get you aro a tiu lioru, and so it gees little leisure and relaxation But the tbo ouly proper things. Granite, unlike
h° Can ™y 4 l0Te’
C H R O N IC L E
tin, drop. Once tho arrested officer got through one continual round of pleasant drills for tho day aro uot yet over, and marble, does not require very frequent In flVdiW1'
away anil was half way to the colouel's complications.—Roslyn (Mich.) Senti ut 1 o'clock the bustle is resumed cleaning and looks well without beiug In 89 diffeteut languages— and hasn't
»aid it iu any.
New York World.
throughout the ship A sudden call may
cabin, with sword drawn. "Stop, nel.
touched up for years. It also admits of
conic for collision drill, or tire drill, or
man,” said the udjutuut. "Would you
T h e C u in n iln a e llle S a g ..
a high polish and doc« not show the
battaliou drill. If at sea, a floating tar- I
A K psak Kaar.
blot your record of three years by com
marks of rust by contact with metal, ns
j? a ccniP1(‘«e difference, ’
get
may
be
dropped
overboard,
aud
for
m itting munler? Think of tbut. Think
h H O W lN O
A Philadelphia policeman the other
marble does.—Philadelphia Record.
«aid the Cnmmiusville »age in the
of your wife uud children. Come buck day received a letter iuforiuiug him that uu hour the ship be shaken from stem
course
of
a
discussion
of
the
oil
bn»i-
The
United
States, Dominion of
to your quarters. You shall not go a n "speak easy," by which term uu un to stern by the discharge of guns. From
A t t h e A ehool P icn ie.
ness,
between beiug a known veil
step farther iu that diroctiuu uutil you licensed saloon is designated, was in 8 to 6 o'clock in the afteruoou there is
Canada and Northe-n Mexico
Lady Helper (tosm all boy)—Will you borer and well known bere. ’’-C iuciu-
have killed me. '*
operation near Franklin and Spring generally a respito from work, anil the
O N O N E S ID E ,
nati Enquirer.
"4 dou't want to kill you, but I'm Gardeu streets. His detective instinct wardroom begins to show signs of be have some more bread and butter?
£
A ud th e
Small Boy—No fear when there's
going to kill the colonel. ”
was at ouce aroused, and lie made au ing u home. Somo iu it are rending or kike
about.
Can’t t> •Touche«!.’’
"A ll righL k ill him, but wait until investigation, only to discover that he writing, otliers are smokiug or playing
M W hy Women Cannot
Lady Helper (trying to be kind)—
“ Why do you it il old Skiafito an
tomorrow—until it is ligh t Dou't sins it was tho victim of some practical joker. games or loafing Still others arc in
«■Tta ,h ,!fh l? » to n ix e d , |
O M T H K O T H E R B IO K .
Cake?
Certainly?
Will
yon
have
plum
abstract
noun?’*
a man iu the durk. That is no way fur The place refcrrctl to proved to be au their rooms taking th« seaman's after
finely strung n . r v o u s
or «eed?
F en d « a a n d «¿o. t h ’ ’ Mat» and
"Because he is something vou
w brave man to da '*
Epiaeopul church for the deaf —New noon nap But nt 6 o'clock the drills
’ tem o f w om en sub- »„ins n' x ......-
Small Boy— Plum, in course. D'ye think of, but cannot • touch
W e e k ly i h m n lc l e f i r O .ie Y 'v r ,
<-, ■ “ ’A
and exercises come again.
He went buck to his bunk and slept York Tribune.
" r Pr f'h e n -
>cago »ion vihtah n o m ln ^ a n
p u s ta g s p r e p a id on M ip an d
By 8 30 o’clock there is a feeliug that tike mo for a canary?—Loudon Punch. Post.
until morning. Wlicii he awoke, he
A M ilit a r y K a q u la lt*.
one cau sit dowu nud dine without fear
came to me und said:
APURKto
Prt<t*.
B a lS a t T rr r tk l..
A l. H . a . Y O U N T ».
"How c a u l get out of thia scrape,
Marshal Ney, w ho was as handsome of interruption. Tlie mess aa a whole is
V toprtrior « r. cbronlota.
“ No, George, don’t ask me. le a n t
you should bold
adjutant?"
os he was brave, is »aid never to have liow gathered together, aud tbo uieul is
-------
OAN 1IUNL-UMXI, CAL
D<* ,lvvr yrlnr mr,»th, dearie. "
“ Write tbe colonel an apology."
appeared on the field ut a great battle generally a thoroughly eujoyalde nud go down the lire escape with all those y ,,r„ W .^
hy, m am m a? My teeth
dou t fie
Hu wrote it, and tbe adjutant took it until he was dreiiacd witli scrupulous delightful affair After it is over there people looking."
"You uniat. You’ll bo burned to BOt.”— Moc vitti or ter Blatter
.to the colonel, who read It, luughvd ami elegance aud bis beard carefully varied an- cigars, games, masic, or tbe right to
W l i r r , Ranriac Coors
aaid, "Bring Colooel Blank to my quar aud perfumed. When ho was led out withdraw within oneself without ex death if you atay here. ”
MtaA««. ja«
“ I can't help it, George. 1 wouldn’t
Lord Rayleigh, in a lecture, said that
ters.’* They mot like a pair of brothers, to execution, be was cixil und calm as citing remark. By 10 o'clock most of
V
t
j
&
i
a
s
f
c
s
C
S
i
&
.
'
s
“
Onr
•»perimento bad s h o w ti that a vibrati”*1
aud to this day tho adjutaut believes though he were going to open a duuce, these sa ilo rs are in taxi, but even now go down that ladder for all tbe world.
Of Buffalo, N Y
n t 6 * ! ? ' « ! In stitu te of Kotntd havmg sit atit]i!irnde of i*'**s
that be proveuted nu army tragedy, und ouly uskmg that the guns should Le tbe drills may uot be over At midnight Tbeae shoes I have on are two sises too
• tv m g th in s ; insures
h e a l’ and
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
thau one twelve-millitntb of a centi-
I guess he did.—Chicago Times licrald. aimed low, thut Ilia face might uot be tbe bugles may sound, ami in two uiin- big foe me,
p rovides p h v siea l rei' i i , ? ° n a r f K «laritv.
otes all the ship's company be rapidly
meter could etill affect the acuì» ol
W n in g p i w i r at
.a"<> ’ »»-
disfigured after death.
A a (C roM m lcal lla a .
hearing.
ness and d e p r e s s ^
° ( ’ I* d a l
making ready for uu enemy —New
Mata O a a r d ta a .
Doctor—I left you a dosen pills aud rau you be so vnlg:,r Mated’ V
Such a vibration won!d be so «bori
The Svuntiaua, who lire iu the inac York Post
krd
H
“ Do you like candy, mamma?
«he com m a o f babv’T a'fM n d ^ 5 i ' h B ,,k e a
that it would bar« to be enlarged 1W
told you to take tate every two bouia, •Litri. T ro,.™ ' , i * nr*
cessible
mouutaiu
range
between
the
4-y m r-o ld Ueasia
ryv
In a personal
f" " iP * ™ ” 'v I y
It is strange to notice how many old
yet there are II le ft Yon didn't Post.
time« tefore the most pov. crful micro
—Chicago M rs M a ra u e rite C ollin o f C n i t ^
It al Black and Caspian seas, are probuhlv classical exproaatoaa still survive in and
"No. dour, “ waa the reply.
Co . O a t , say»
o f C u tle r, A lgo m a
obey luy orders.
scope could render it visible, snopoaini
tbe
Isxiesl
people
iu
the
world.
They
ways makes me sick. ”
Tuscany The people «till ewear " By
Fatii ut— Yea, I did, doctor. I took
• hat it v.pre sahcspublu < f Lcirg seen at
.
« « > '• V « 1 * T W „ b t « v l- r .
7
Pierce-, wnnde'rM ’ w i E ! , ? * *
b r Dr
“ I’m awful glad of it," said tbe lit have made uo advance towurd civiliza Bacvbual" and 'By Diana I” ju*t aawe tbe same pill every lime. There wasn't I b i» s 7T
ta ir U. asan««* m ir la t-ii,, . ,
’ .’s*?
nil.
2 ? « F
lr '• »enced the
tle tulaa. "You'ge just tlie wtniian I tion iu 2,600 years. It is thnr iu varia do "By Jove!" hat wbeu they talk of any use iu wasting • new pill aa loug amt n r a r h v ,,Ir, | l(,
Old people, ho raid, do not hear high
.1 himtr. Salar?
-n.h.7no:\",y
want to hold my enudy while 1 dress ble rule to olxa-rve holidays four times ■'Tow, Dick aud Harry" they any " li- oa 1 conldn l swallow tbe fir« m e — comi,..-fit
yc“Lîl“* ' ’ i*'"*'—''»not.
‘ **• • - n ib .
note» which arc and'bl. to yauttg jer-
mT
r
n
^
T
r
u
I
t
r
"
a
wack,
with
suinte*
days
us
extras.
«oily. '*—Chicago N ew s
(nit, Cains aud Seutprnuioa "
Vim
w<ns, and there is raaaoo to believe that
¡2 ? ^
furee rcL, '
" ' ’ «'I
•‘I*. lír
. Ue
«rldk
là -Z
1 *«'>
babies bear notes which are iuamlibb
si » lb apenurv Medical
toctaticy. *
to their elders.—Ixiud-ut Mail.
CHRONICLE
$6.70aYcnr.
The Weekty Chronicle
$ 1 . 5 0 a fa
Reversible Map?
Map of tha World