PR PR ^7V ^V^V^V/-T\ -ÜÇ * 7K * * * * * * * * J4r Mrx^ Afe-ikr xfc-.Me’ .\tf .u< x^ .u< x¿< \/^ \^-.Ur .tfir A^ Mf Afc* xtr .Me1 .\t-xtr Afe-.U /.\^ u - u<.\^ u - .u/ ur ^7^ - tv -71 ^7v /- tv -Tv *Ti PR *rv *Tf ^/v ^Jv PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR *R * * * * * rakccCv&U * * * __ _ u< a - ue.ur PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR CURl CONSTIPATION ABSOLUTELY GUARAHTEED ï ALL druggists ¡ î pie«»,I booklet free. AS. STKBI.IJi« KXVKI1I CO., (’hirsvu, « oiitr.nl. fan .. or Nf o lurx. LOVE’S YOUNG DREAM. I t ge«*nu*tl F»«Uu< A «ray, b u t M I m M e r e ly AXlauutfcntood H im . 4N IDEAL BACHELOR. Siulff A W RITER W HO UNO ERTAKESTO TELL A .L ABOUT HIM. Three ★ Desirable -NDV CATHARTIC Stars in * * f»T ¡r . T w o F riend ». The late Mr. H G. Bunner, tho editor of Puck, nud Lawrence Hutton were the closest of frieuds They began says Mr. Hutton, in his sad reminiscence of his dead friend, publi-hed in The I' i»k- man, in that oftcu desiriLL g II* "with a little aversion.” E i d even an introdn tiou to the • .. r 1 i! fate actually threw them together, 3t to be parted more. 'Ibeir mutual “ good tim es” were dear at the m o m iu t nnd “ pleasant, too, to think on.' There Was much “ excellent fooling” there, nnd when Hutton was murried it but added a third desirable member to 1 lie company. The marriage itself shows on what terms of happy nonsense they lived. Mr. Hutton says: He and Mr. Telford and I spent to- gather at tho Westmoreland and iu Bunner’s rooms the la_t evening of my single life. He hud heurd that luck would be insured if the gro m, ou the occasion of his marriage, would wear “ someihing old, something new, some­ thing borrowed and something blue.” He urged, therefore, my appearance next day iu a pcir of socks procured es­ pecially by him for me. O ue was abso­ lutely unworn, the 01 her had seen serv- ico and was darned, but they were both blue And I must borrow them Mr. Tclfcrd, I rtuiem' er, lent mo a necktie for the same purpose, and both of those dear boys were married, wheu their time came, in something blue that was borrowed from me. When Bunner was married, we sent his wifo a traveling clock as a wedding gift, to which I attached a card Learing these lines: ★ w MEN ANTED—FAITHFUL A R id e F o r R e p u ta tio n . While they were discussing tho melee t T or women to travel lor re- in the school board the head of a big sponsible established house in Oregon manufacturing establishment was moved Salary $780 and expenses. Position to relate this experience: permanent. Reference. Enclose self- ” 1 was once a pedagogue myself. I addressed stamped envelope. The had resolved to do something worth National. Star Insurance Bldg., Chicago. w hile in the business world, and having no capital except what was wrapped up Justice In the Rough. in my person I taught school to get a “ We used to call him the cactus edi­ starter. I had some advanced students tion of Blackstone, ” said the major, and had to skirmish iu order to* keep up who hud lived iu Texas long enough to w ith the procession. One day the whole make a fortune, “and tho blind eyed class was stumped by an arithmetical goddess never had a moro peculiar rep­ problem, and so was I. In order to gain resentative. The law never bothered time for myself I camo the old dodge of him a bit, but he reverenced equity. telling them liow much better it would be if they would work out the solution He had a dignity all his own, but never for themselves and gave them another sllowed it to interfere with his love of a joke. day. “ ‘How old are you?’ asked one of the “ That night, behind locked doors and closed blinds, I worked iu fear and per­ lawyers of a venerable spinster ou the spiration. From the bottom of my trunk Itand. “ ‘I was born in ’46,’ she snapped. I took a key to tho arithmetic, hut even " ‘B. O. or A. D. ?' quickly asked the with that aid I failed to master the problem. By midnight I was desperate. |udge. Anil tho muture maiden disowned It would never do to let the scholars, her brother because he would not chal­ the parents and the whole cruel world lenge the court. " ‘Is this your first offense?’ he asked know that I was not equal to my posi­ tion. But i t ’s net iu my make up to sur­ if a convicted horse thief. "Ou being assured that it was, the render while there’s a fighting chance. ‘ ‘At the town, ten m iles away, there Judge said, ’Then I w ill only give you was a loyal and highly educated friend 89 years instead of 100, as I would have of mine. He would help me and say done had you been an old offender. ’ “ A miller had bought ten barrels of nothing. It was one of the bitterest January nights I ever knew. But I slip­ apples from a farmer and brought ac­ ped to the barn, appropriated a horse, tion to recover ou a claim that the bar­ made a ride more notable than many of rels were undersized, causing him a loss these immortalized in song or history, □f three bushels on tlie deal. “ ‘How did you get the barrels?’ asked froze my ears and toes and had m y vocal the court of the fanner. powers reduced to a whisper. “ ‘Bought them full of flour from the "B ut you should have heard my w his­ pered explanation of (hat problem and miller. ’ ’ ‘ Wherenpcu the court gave the farmer my regrets th u t none of tho pupils had a verdict and taxed the costs againat the mastered it /”— Detroit Free Press. miller. ”—Detroit Froe Press. She bud met him at the door w ith a loviug kiss, but a moment later, when they hail taken seats in the parlor, she rapidly removed the six engagement H ow H e M ust lire»« a u .l th e R a le s o f Con- d u ct l i e M u tt O b se rv e to lie C laascd m rings be bail given her and handed them a " C o m p le te B a c h e lo r ” — H is M anner over with the remark: W ith Lad if* an d S ervan ts. “ Mr. .Samuel X. Johnsing, I ’ze frew w id yo’ and y o ’r deceit, and yo can eon- There are those who would say that a I der our engagement dun busted in bachelor has no business to be complete; tw o." “ W-wltatl” ho gasped as the jewelry that it is tho duty of every young man dropped from his trembling hand and to marry at the earliest practicable mo­ great iieads of perspiration came out on ment and so give over tho selfish joys his forehead. “ H aiu’t yo’ my true lnh of b:iehelorhood. But as long as young men in their lamentable desire to be no m o’?” “ No, sab .” site replied coldly. "A comfortable refuse to look at the matter mun may ileeeib dis lady onoe, but do in that light there is need that they second time she’s gwine to diseert her­ should be duly instructed in the proper­ ties of their position, and what better self. ” "B-but, muh angel,” he stammer­ instructor could they have than the Sola W ith ed, “ w ho’s bin puttin dis trash in y o ’r anonymous genius who writes of things sweet head ’bout me deceibin y o ’?” 1 “ As Seen by H im ” in that very fash- " N o one, sab. I dun seen de hull iounblo publication, Vogue? It is he who tells them what “ (he complete bach­ th in g w id my own tw o eyes. ” “ B-but liow ’d I do it, muh lubbly elor” should be, and if they are wise they w ill listen to his words. A ll the dream, bow’d I do it?” “ Mr. Johnsing,” she answered, “ I ’zc contingencies which arise in the social mighty young, mighty innercent, and life of the bachelor are duly considered. jus trustiu us a spring chicken, but I ’ze First, there is the matter of his public got eyes and saw' y o ’ wipin off dat kiss manners, in which many men who re­ I 'stowed 011 y o ’ as y o ’ come in dis gard themselves ns w ell bred are w oe­ fully deficient. They w ill smoke in tho euvenin. ” street, keep women standing on corners “ I— I neliber did, m uh” — “ Dis am de second time y o ’ dun dat w hile they talk to them, sit w hile wom­ low down trick, sah, and I can neblier en are standing, carry sticks or umbrel­ trust yo ’ no mo'. Huh, and only las’ las at offensive angles, stare women out night y o ’ suiil do6e kisses was dearer to of countenance at theaters or hotels, nnd in general make nuisances of them- yo' dan pigs’ foot!” j selves. Now, a bachelor who w ill do “ B-but” — For old tlmo'B salt© Will you and H. C. B. “ And den y o ’ wipe 'em off us if dey uny of these things is wretchedly in ­ complete. At tills time take was dirt. Mr. Johnsing, leab me w hile The time from mine nnd mo? Then cornea tho qnestion o f clothes. I slied bitter tears over my pore broken Nothing moro distinguishes the gentle­ Time is, time was. heart.' ’ Let time be old or now, He hail been doing u deal of thinking man than what ho wears. Nor is it Thi 1 times f-r us w hile she was talking, nnd there was a enough, ns many do, to be nice in the Aru high old times with you. W a v e N a m es. look of injured innneeuee on His face as matter of gloves, shoes or cravats and To this the lady responded: A H y g ie n ic ReMtaurazit« owe largo sums to tho tailor. Dressing he stood up and said: I have a noto of some curious names I lack tho tune, in spite of thne from you, A snggestiou worthy of all praise ia 1 is not so much a mat ter of money us a "M iss Smiff. sometimes things haln’t To write the heartfelt thunks I feel ere due. given locally to the waves on different pnt forth by a contemporary journal for jes' what dey seem, anil dis am one of matter of taste. After a mnn h ut pnt But every p acin g hour wb Je time endures parts of onr coast that may be worthy ladies. It is to tlie effect that somebody de times. ’Stead of wipin off dose kisses his wardrobe in proper condition he Shall speak to mu and mine of you and yours. of record. These were culled from The None who are engaged in any of the mechanical should start a restauruut iu which the yo' speak of I was jes’ rubbiu dem in may get along remarkably w ell on a Fam ily Herald a few years ago. I can­ O ne o f th e R a r e st R ook s. I very sm all yearly sum . Our author docs waiters should be instructed to refuse to kuso dey was so sweet. “ pursuits can succeed without reading and Among the books of a comparatively not give the exact date. Tho names are serve uuy sequence of dishes which ob­ And then the cold look disappeared not disdain »0 give economical hints, curiously varied and sometimes not a receut date, if tho Revente, utli century viously make for indigestion. Oue can studying this standard Magazine of Sciences from Miss “ Sm iff's” face, the engage­ to tell how the tailor around Jhe corner little suggestive. Tlie Peterhead folk m ent ringM were hunted up and restored w ill do perfectly w ell some tilings for cau be described as such, is, as the E l­ call the large breakers that fall w ith a easily believe that the world would he nnd mechanical Arts. I t is illustrated with to .her fingers, and the lovemaking that which tho “ sw ell” tailor would charge zevir collector well knows, the famous crash on the teach by the grim name of the better, the healthier, the happier, if w ent ’ou ïiH hkt"rœ ni"during the" next ' 1-ouni«g,ut«itr«*M