The West. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1890-1921, July 17, 1896, Image 4

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

T he highest claim for other
tobaccos is “ J u s t as
good as D u r h a m ."
E v e r y old s m o k e r
know s there is none just
os good as
^ k ls T D
Stars in
A G rand W in d U p.
“ W hat's going ou here tonight?” de-
About seven miles up the S im ian manded a policeman us he reached a
river from Fieri nice, ami situated on the house ou Grove street the other night- at
II hl III utting D ay.
T here were flvo of us who got to the bottom lands of th e river, is one of tin­ m idnight to find the doors open and the
crossing of Kaw river a t the sumo tim e, ie s t farm s in Lane county. For grain fam ily opt iu tho yard, w hile the forms
You will f id one coupon inside
mid wo found the old scow which did I or pasture land it is unexcelled, and I of two men lay ou the sidew alk as if j
each two ounce big,and twocou
duty as a ferry lioat on the far aide, w ith the best proof th a t it produces th e finest ! dead.
“ Say, boss, wo jest had a leetle party
puns iiis'dc each four ounce
rho ferrym an dangling his hare feet in | varieties of fruit, is th a t there is grov.-
hug o f Black« « Il's Durham.
th e w ater and evidently taking things ! ing a large orchard consisting of the yerc tonight, ” replied the man of the
Buy a bag of t h i s cele­
house, who hud a candle iu his hand.
brated tobacco an«l read the
choicest kinds of fruit-trees now in
“ What sort of a party?”
“ Say, y o n !” called a cowboy fryui bearing. T his (arm « ill lie sold as a
coupon—which gives a list
“ Jest a nice leetle high tea, like de I
Our side.
of valuable presents aud how
whole or in ten, live or one acre tracts ! w hite folks, salt. ”
“ Waal, w hat is it? ”
to get them.
to suit purchasers. W rite to G. F. Ken­
“ We w ant to cross over. ”
nedy, Florence, Oregon, for particulars
“ Yes, guess yo d o .”
and prices.
i len, sail.”
"Com o on w ith the scow .”
“ And w h a t's tho m atter w ith them ?” !
“ I don't have to tiil X g it read y !”
“ Obercome, salt, sam e as w hite gem
“ When w ill you get ready?”
Ten at a party. Yes, sail, dev disem-
Scientific American
“ C an’t tell. ”
i bibed too much of do llowin bowl, and
Agency for
I t was evident th a t wo had bum ped
upon g ittiu out doahs dey was con­
up against an ecceutiic character, and
strained to sink down in to a rancorous
rs no one was in a hurry we w aited
j sta te .”
putioutly for him to take his lime. A ft­
Sold W ith
“ Well, th e y 'll get frost bitten ont
er 15 or 20 m inutes he called :
“ Mebbe ye h a in ’t heard the n ew s!”
key to tho patrol box. “ I ’ll ring fo ri
“ What is it? ” a ked the cowboy, who
c a ve a ts ,
trade m ar k s ,
the wagon aud have ’em taken to tho j
had been delegated to do the talk in g on
d e sig n p a t e n t s ,
station. ”
our side.
„ . „
C O P Y R IC H T 8 , e t c .
“ Please d o n ’t , ” put iu the woman, |
1-or Information an<t free Handbook write to
“ The price fur g ittiu over used to be
JICNN ic CO.. SCI H imiauway . N ew Y ork .
who had beet’ keeping very quiet.
a quarter, but it lias riz. ”
p.ileat bureau for «wurlnjr patents In Anierlen.
J.vj rv patent tak< n out by us U brought before
“ Linda, yo' sh e tl” cautioned t h e 1
“ What is it now ?”
the public by a uotico given freo o f churgo in tho
liusbaud. “ Wo gin a high tea. DelionBol
“ H alf a dollar.
was crowded. Eberybody iu jo y id his- !
“ And I ’ve some news for you 1”
self on de auspislions occasion, and de I
“ W anll"
J^rge»t circulation o f any scientific paper in tho
grand w ind up was when do police boro
world, Splendidly illustrated. N<> in tellig en t
“ The prico of cartridges used to bo 50 ' m
an should I f without it. Wc ’ •* —
de (jiscushus forms of tw o well known
year; «1.50 six months. Address
cents a box, lint th ey ’ve come down to
kuaiJaitr.HS. M i l Breadwuy." New”yórk city?0’1
society men to d - B astille. Officer, do
a q uarter, and X kin afford to w aste a
yo’r dooty 1”
dozen or so !”
1 eon...uteri man was w aiting for m m .
The officer did It, and the fam ily w ent
"B hootin at w h at?"
but lie had scarcely gotten his dukes up
“ A t you! I ’ll give you five initiates when ho was knocked down, and iu in and w ent to bed.-—M. Q uad iu De­
tro it F ree Press.
to make a s t a r t !”
two m inutes he was a licked man and
“ K in ye plunk th at?’’ asked the yelling for mercy.
T h en H e W o u ld T a k e L ife Seriouttly.
ferrym an us he held up his hut on a
“ Didn't. I tell you so?” exclaim ed
“ X th in k your boy is too much in ­
the fighter its he crossed over and opeued
“ You bet I” replied the cow boy as he Hie door. “ Much obliged for your k in d ­ clined to look lightly upon th e se iio n s
affairs of life ,’’said tho teacher. “ There
sent tw o bullets through it.
ness. My hours aro |0 a. in. aud :l p. m.
" T h a t's 'm i f f , and I ’ll come over! and th e rest af the tim e I atten d to is a buoyancy to his spirits th a t is car­
ried to oxcess. It would b o a good thing
T his is my bin (tin day and I liato to business. ”
if ho had a littlo more solem nity in his
crawfish, but if I m ust X m ust. T h a t’s
m anner. ”
J h n M ade N o M istake.
»he trouble out in this keiitry. Ye
“ Oh, th a t w ill all come later iu
I was cruising tho C ity H all park a t 10
bluff au In ju n and lick aC h in y n y in and
sit all swelled up over it, and (lien the other evening when a man halted life ,” replied tho fath er carelessly.
“ If I could feel sure of th a t” —
None who a n engaged in any of ti e m echanical
along comes a c ritte r who shoots two mu ami s a id :
“ Yon can feel just as sure of it as
“ X w as sorry to do it, but I allow no
handed and m akes yo cat grass. M ighty
j un-nits can succeed w ithout reading and
pecooliar how tiie price of cartridges one to abuse a friend of mine. See th is you w ant to. H e’ll look as solemn as
mi owl and as serious as a Biblical stu ­
fell down je s t r.s my prico riz up, bloody nose?”
studying this standard M agazine of Sciences
dent beforo X am through w ith h im .”
“ Yes. You have been fig h tin g .”
h u in ’t i t ! "
“ What do you intend to do w ith
"A w fn lest fight yo ever heard of,
and m echanical A rts. I t is illu strated w ith
D id n ’t W a n t a C uckoo.
sir, but I downed him . I co u ld n 't stand h in t?”
“ Have you w hat they call a onckno it to hoar him talk agin ye, s i r .”
all modern cuts of latest inventions in all
hum orist. X don’t know anything th a t
clock?” lio uskoil, as ho entered a jew el­
“ Who vpas talking against m e?”
ry store.
the branches of mechanism , and its fund of
“ One o'T ho regular vagabonds w h at
ly. ’ ’—Chicago Post.
“ Yes, s ir ,” was tlio reply. “ Yes, I hangs around here. ”
knowledge is inseparably connected w ith in ­
liuvo tho finest cnekoo clocks in town
“ Hut I'v e ju st come over the b rid g e ." !
W itliln th e M agic C ircle.
“ X kno«- it, but lie was talkin before !
T h at is one over there. ”
ventors and mechanics.
Sold w ith 'I n n
“ What does it do?” queried tho man. yo come. XIo conies up to m c a u d s c z :
One tw o story house in F lorence w ith lot 53 x 155 fe t. II tuse
lionaire, hard to approach?
“ I w ill show you. Now, then, when ‘Jim , if a man conics along hero w ith a
Jazb lin — Yes. It alw ays struck me he heated by furnace. V a te r handy. E ig h t rooms
it strikes, the cuckoo w ill call out. Hear him k hut and a blue overcoat on, d o n 't
besides basement
had a sort of gold reserve about h im .— |
th a t? ”
waste yer tim e on him . H e ’s one o ’ the
" T h a t is a cuckoo, is it?”
hloom lu’cst blokes in all New York.
“ Yes, sir. ”
Ha w ouldn’t gin y o u cent if yo was
D ifferin g V b w s ,
“ Ju s t goes 'O ob-hool Ooh-hool* ”
dyiii of hunger.
T hem 's the words ho
He— I never shall be tru ly happy. I !
One house w ith lot 50 x 142 and blacksm ith shop with lot.
" T h a t’s It, s i r ."
said, s i r .”
have too complex a uatnro.
“ Hut whc.t is tlio object?”
“ And w hat did you say?”
She—Complex? And papa said ho H ouse is well finished.
Only blacksm ith shop in Florence, Both
“ O bject! Wliy you get tlio times of
"W hy, I rounds ou him and sez, sez believed you were sim ple.—Indianapolis
tlio cuckoo instead of the sounds of a I : 'J im , y e ’re w ay off' yer feed. Tlio Journal.
for 8000. B lacksm ith shop sold seperatcly if desired.
bell. Hear th a t!”
bloomiu bloke, as yo calls him , is a j
“ Yes, it goes ‘Ooh-hool O o h -lio o i'| gentlem an from tho word go, w ith ill
S om e Horaen,
T h a t's the way u live cuckoo goes, is it? ” I in ,;et ii.i liig as a b ar’l, mid many a
One q u a rte r section of land, heavily tim bered 2 J miles from store
Some horses cannot hoar to bo w ithout !
" O f course. I guarantee it to he a per­ night this w inter I'd have iiad tu lay in
o m ilc9 fi.o m
, ,
fect iuiitutiun. How do you like it? ”
tho snow but for bis kindness. D on't company, especially in the fields, w hile ;m ,l p o s t ((ffice
F i r 813).
“ D on’t get m a d ." said (lie custom er, I call him no bloke.’ T h a t’s w hat X said, others apparently dislike it, aud may be |
us ho looked at the d o c k in a puzzled sir. ”
on some largo common or fell. I havo
way, " h u t I really c an ’t understand
“ And thou J i m ” —
One hundred and sixty acres o f A gricultural land 12 miles from
! known a horse of m atu o years fall as
this thing. This is a cuckoo clock?”
"H o sez tlii.i if X stands np f o r a
Florence for 8300.
"Y es. s ir .”
bloomiu bloke I ’m no b etter myself, mid
This m onthly m agazine is one o f the ver
'W hen it strikes, tlio cuckoo culls out that I'm a liar to boot. Then wo cn donkey nt first sight as tlio veriest moon
‘Ooli-hoo! O oh-hool’ ”
gages in a dosperuto struggle, sir, and I
best p rin te d in th is c o u n try , and iswii
fact, sueh was tho poor a n im a l’s pitiable
" Y e s ."
leaves him alm ost lifeless out there ou
plight that, after a day or tw o of com ­
"A n d Hint's a ll? ”
Broadway. 1 c a n 't forget a kirdness,
to all subscrilxjrs n t ra te s within tk
panionship, ho would not eat until the
“ T h at’s all. of course. What do yon sir. I ’d laid my life down for y e .”
expect of a cuckoo clock?”
“ Thanks. I t's a pleasant even in g .”
ab ility o f all to pay . I t is finely ill»
On tho other hand, I havo known a
“ Duiiuu, hut my w ife has called me
“ B ut hold on, sir! I engaged iu a
a cuckoo so often th at I th o u g h t it desprit struggle on yer behalf. T his
tra te d an d p resen ts tiie nam es of fam«
These offers are made for a short
am ounted to more than this. No, X guess isn ’t red paint ou my ear— it's blood." same donkey, after aw hile grow quite I
fond of it, thus proving th a t platouio
a u th o rs as c o n trib u to rs.
T h e W f
I w on’t take one. ”
"Y es, it looks like blood, but I ’m in
tim e only and those who wish to be­
affection may bo a thing of slow or rapid
H alf an hour later tint man retu rn o d a hurry
grow th between anim als, as in hum an
an d tiie C osm opolitan a re sold it it'
w ith a smile on hia face to say:
“ And yo h aven’t a q u arter for me
come owners of Real Estate in Flor­
beings, according to individual disposi­
" I made a m istake ab o u tth u t clo ck .” for defendin yer reputashuii?”
duccd rates a t th is office.
tio n .—Speaker.
“ How so?”
“ Not th is e v e."
ence and the Siuslaw valley can not
“ I said my wife was always calling
“ N or ¡0 cents?"
T h e ly A u th o r.
afford to ignore them.
mo a cuckoo when things didn 't go rig h t
" N o ."
In Tho P u b lishers’ Weekly is told a j
at lióme. I got it wrong. It's a lulu she
“ N or even a nickel?”
story of a “ lady a u th o r.” who, in re ­
culls me. aud if you have a lulu clock
" N o ."
turning galley proofs of her book, re- j
perhaps wo can make a d icker.”
"T h en Unit setlies it, sir. I goes over marked to the publisher th at it was all!
to Jim ami I sez, sez 1: ‘Jim , old hoy, rig h t, hut she d id n 't like “ tho pages I
l i e T o ld lln . B o o k k e e p e r No»
let's kiss anil miiko np. I ’ve m et tho q u ite so lo n g ,” nor did she w ant " th e
"C a n I w ait here for about 20 m in ­ gent ns yo calls a bloomiu bloke and
tn«ik printed on one side of the pugo
u tes?” asked a man w ho entered the of­ yo was dead right about him . Ho only. ”
more complete
fice of a factory on Woodbridge street h asn 't got the feelitts of a cobblestone,
“ N ew spapcrdom " cups th is w ith a
the other afternoon and backed up In the and if it depended on sieh us him y e'n
story of a bm k-eller who, on receipt of;
Discription of the
mo and the n st of tlio iinfortuiiit of New a copy of Ai-.i uncut book, w rote tho fol­
" C e rta in ly ,” replied the bookkeeper York would dine off of icicles and sleep
as lie motioned to a chair.
in the sn o w d rifts.' T hem 's my words to Ceived the b inks you sent. Guo of them
Property will be given
“ I t ’s ju st 2 0 m inutes to 8 ,” continued Jim . sir, and if yo are h it by n -cable
is not bound properly. Two of tiie edges
e do not take possession of our ideas but are possessed by th e» .
tho liiun as ho looked at his w atch and ear this night, th e re 'll be no tears shed
, ...
, ,,
. (sido and bottom ) aro left rough and un-
On application.
com pared it w itli tho clock. " A t 8 by them as km shed cm in a proper way c n t whilo th(, ((t,,er p,|ga ol- , hp lt,.(vpa
They m aster us and force us into the arena,
o'clock 1 shall lie ready for him. ”
to show th eir g ratiti« v l!’
hfTopi is cut and gilded. S hall I take it
s... .
We lke gladiatorsi we must fight for them .”
“ Home one is to stop for you?”
A ilp ie iiA
a t h alf prico or return it? ”
"T h e re ho is across tho street. I got
A New York wet i :-t w ho has bc,xi
into a jaw w ith him down at the depot, visiting in Germ any, i,; the castle homo
T h e S a ltie s t «»f th e S a lt Seas.
and he slapped my face and kicked mo of a countrywom an v ho m arried a
» ' « " » » o n th ly „ » cnzl„ 0
Sonic idea of tho saltness of the w a­
and followed me up here. At 8 o’clock German nobleman, coti.*. ihntes tho fol­
I 'l l lick him out of his boots!”
"pon a r l„ne and in keeping w ith its
lowing to the alw ays discussed question the comparison made below. The Dead
The bookkeeper looked ont of tho of servant tip p in g :
The A rena’s gallery of em in en t
w indow aud saw a redheaded m an on
“ When my visit came to an end, I
th e op|sisito wulk pacing up and down w ;s in ancli a dilem m a as to w hat was east of Jerusalem . It is 88 m iles long
“ ' “kers b a group of interesting men nnd
and from 10 to 15 miles wide, w ith an
«nil shaking his fist a t the otlieo.
the proper thing to do iu the way of
“ I ’ll givo him a surprise party, and feeing the servants that, after some de­ average depth of 20 fathom s (120 feet).
women, and th e ir thoughts are
don’t you forget it I” chuckled tho cu ll­ liberation, 1 w eut to my hostess for r e ­ Common ocean w ater contains hut 80
w orthy th e
er as ho looked at his w atch again.
consideration of all people.
lief. ’Yon have such a retinue of serv ­ Dead sea coutain 250 parts to the 1,000,
T he A rena is
" H e assaulted you, did lie?"
ants, I said to her, ’that. I sim ply can­
sold with T h e W est .
“ He did. He knocked me up against not fee them all. I w ant you to tell me w hich makes the briny solution exactly
n w all nnd then bis,ted mo clear ucrosa w hich ones w ill expect a remembrance,
D r u a m r n H In Intlia.
the street. ”
and w hat umonut it onght to ho.’
“ A nd you d id n 't light back?”
In India, for th e mass of th e people,
Wliereup in she told mo th at thequestiou
"N o . My hours for fighting are 10 a. had c--me up s » often iu th is very way, the purchase of nm aiueuts is alm ost the
in. and 8 p. m. 1 can 't got mail a t any from sem e of li-r American guests, th a t one form i f indulgence to w hich a man
o th e r tim e. Yon ju st w ait aud see how th e had at Ja.d h it up n a plan w hich w ho has mndon little money treats h im ­
I ’ll su rp rise th at follow ont th e re .”
her liusbaud agreed was a gaud one, and self O rdinarily the man who has saved
“ I should th in k it would be rath er w hich hail hi < u in o]x>ratiou for n long a few rupees does not change the nature
incouveuieut to be eoufined to reg u lar tfuio in their household to th e entire of his fiiod o r tho style of his clothing,
fighting honra?” observed tlio bookkeep­ satisfa -tiou of i,ll concerned, including nor does he invest iu articles of furnl-
tlio servants, Mio showed me n linked turo.
x ;
What lie does—if he is of a cantions
“ Yea, it is sometimes, but ou the Ixix iu a dark nook iu tho h all, nnd into
w hole It's lsitter a ll As it is, I a s lit in th is her guests dropped w h a t­ uud saving nature— is to pnt his rupees
know w hen I have to fight ami am p re­ ever auiiinnt it was th r ir pleasure to givo iu a hiding place, but if he is inclined
pared fo r it, uud i t ’s jn s t as convenient th e aervanta. Once in six m ouths the for show he indulges his fancy by put
F ull E nglish C ourse .
ting gold or silver ernam entsou the per­
fo r tho o th er feller tu be licked ut a h er Was , - h -.I ; id tho i a tc u ts d is
stated tim e. It is now five m inutes of 8, trib n ted am ong tho stuff, the g ifts being son i of his w ife and children.
lh«'-o ornam ents are the very last
au d I'm g ettin g mud. A t 8 o ’clock I 'l l proportionate to tlio- place held — tho,
B ooxxefping , shorthand , T elegraphy
go tail of hero lik e a th u n d e rb o lt!”
but lor, footm en, r. an m aids aqd others things to be parted w ith on a reverse o f
Tho bookkeeper th o u g h t he w o u ld n 't, w ho cam e in direct contact w ith the fortune, and even in the lowest social
nnd w as about to tell h im th at he could g-.irxt receiving tho larg er am ount. ilsptns they are not ¡mt on the market
Which I can a-suro yon was th e greatest n u til the last piece of o-.oed money has
sneak o u t th ro u g h th e shop in to the ul
ley w hen th e clock « track 8, nnd th e kind of rel.ef to 100 and seemed a good vauislied nnd no household utensils of
m an u ttered u yell and opened the doot idea to n-lopt clxowhcre. " — New York h rssi « c pp«r nre left w ith w hich to
And The
e in c i S C I E N C E S .
Scientific American..
F o r S a le
a t tir e
O ffic e
the arena
make your selection .