jot the Bounce, Not the Girl
busily applied the poultice.
Once more the little fellow opened his
1 banker, while talking to one of his
mouth.
clerks, said:
“ j ___ »»
„Arthur, a man never amounts to
But the uplifted switch awed
uCb in this 1Jfe until l,e is um rried.”
»1 think so myself,” the young man into silence.
In a minute more the poultice was
replied.
•Glad you are ready to agree with hrmly in place, and the little boy was
uie, Arthur, for I have taken quite a tucked in bed.
There, now,” said his mother, ‘‘the
liking to you. How old are you*” ’
, old sliver will be drawn out and Eddie’s
•Twenty-one, sir.
■Plenty old to m arry, A rthur, and j ioot W*B be all well.
As the mother and «rand mother
1 would advise you to begin looking
moved triumphantly •* away
around.”
«7 * a • shrill,
••I have been looking around, and I 8ma11 voice came from under the be 1-
luvefound a young lady, and she has j clothes:
Y on ve got it on the wrong foot!”
promised to be my wife.”
“G'xxh I hope she is worthy of you.”
Great Advice.
“I think she is, sir.”
Doctor, to first patient—Suffering
"Glad you think so. Who is she, from indigestion, eh?
Arthur?”
“ Yes sir.”
"Yourdaughter, sir.”
“ How about tobacco?”
The young fellow does not work at the
“ Well, I smoke.”
bank now.
All, and you’ll have to give it up.”
She Has a Musical Ear.
Same doctor to second visitor—
"Come here, Frances, and let mam Stomach trouble, eh?
“ Yes sir.”
ma tell her little girl about heaven.”
“ How about tobacco?”
'‘That’s where the dear Lord lives,
“ I don’t use it.”
isn't it, mamma?”
“ Well, you’d better smoke.”
“Yes; and it is such a happy place.
° r • T" , te
dry goods
= —
cadb A^^ st pa tter n s an d
PABRICS—IM M E N S E S T O C K .
a "
“
0
C H O IC E S T
CENTS’ DEPARTMENT
0
n , ^ ^ L E T E ' N ALI- ,T S V A R IO U S L IN E S .
C L O T H IN G , H A T S A N D C A PS.
BOOTS and SHOES
„
stock ™
L A D IE S A N D G E N T l-E M E N . B E S T
S T O C K IN F L O R E N C E .
THE SEATON STORE
Keeps a full line of Extra Quality
All the good people go there when they
Her Higher Education.
die, and they all have harps and sing
Cousin Hugh—Whereaway so early,
day and night.”
and in such a hurry, this breezy morn
"Will everybody sing, m am m a?”
ing?
"Yes, my dear.”
Miss Brainie, fresh from medical HARDAV ARE,
TINWARE,
BOOTH & SHOES,
"Will papa s in g ? ”
studies at Vassar—Don’t detain me.
“Oh, yes.”
I ’m going right over and help my old
HATH & CAPS,
MEDICINES,
NUTS & CANDIES,
"All the tim e ? ”
friend, Airs. Welle wed.”
“Yes, love.”
“ Any thing wrong?”
JOBACCO,
(IGARH,
FURNISHING GOODS.
“Then I don’t want to go.”
“ Wrong? I should say so! Yester
Not This Time.
day she said she was going to wire her
A romantic young lady fell into the husband. And I didn’t even know lie Goods as Represented.
Pricos W ill be Found Reasonable.
I rater and was nearly drowned. She was was dead. He’ll make a lovely skeleton
I unconscious when brought to land. Af- and I can show her just how he should
I ter she had been taken home, she speed be wired.”
DRY GOODS g GROCERIES.
ily recovered her senses, and declared
her intention to marry the individual
| who had “snatched her from a watery
I grave.” Her father objects.
“Impossible,” be says.
"Is he married?” she inquires.
"No, but he is—a retriever.”
, Where They P ut the Poultice.
* here is a time to keep silence, but it
evidently was not the right time in the
use of a boy mentioned, who lives in an
| "itario town. He got a sliver in bis
J 1"1 and, in spite of his protestations,
bs mother decided to place a poultice
"'er bis wound. The boy vigorously re
puted.
1 won’t have no poultice,” be de
clared stoutly.
"Yes> you will, E ddie,” declared
mother and grandm other, firmly;
,f|d, the majority being two to one, at
An Unforseen Predicament.
A Pole sent his son Isaac on a visit to
his bride-elect. The young lady's
father bad a rather shady reputation,
and before the son’s departure the Pole
addressed him as follows:
“ If the father of the bride has only
committed a slight offence you must
ask for 50,000 marks, but it lie stands
charged with a serious crime you must
demand 100,000.”
The son started on his journey, and
in a few days there came this telegram:
“ Father hanged, how much now?
Isaac.”
How He Demonstrated It.
“ Do you know Harvey Jones and his
wife?”
“ Yes.”
“ As a married couple they’re not hal
' 'me the poultice was ready,
bad.”
lithe poultice was ready the boy was
“ What do you mean by that? 1
lljt, ami he proved so refractory th at a thought you didn’t like Jones.”
11,11* was brought into requisition. It
“ 1 don’t.”
arranged th a t the grandmother
“ Well, explain your remark then.”
"Id apply the poultice, while the
“ He is thoroughly hud, but his wife is
il'er was to stand with the uplifted a splendid woman; and, as she is Id-
1' at the bedside. The boy was better half, they are not half bad-
that if he “ opened bis m outh” be
See?”
"Id leceive that which would keep
“ Oh. yes.”
II 'I'hct. As the hot poultice touched
Briggs—How do you like my new
' s fo o tJ ie o p e n e d h is m o u th .
coat? I got it at the misfit parlor.
'I')u
he began.
still,’ said bis mother, shak- Griggs—First rate. It's one of the l*st
l'er stick, while the grandmother misfits I ever saw.
Knowles & Gettys,
C . E. S M IT H .
MANAGERS.
GEO. T . HALL.
«Se n A L L ,
The Largest Wholesale Coalers in
:CENERAL GROCERIES:
In the State, Outside of Portland.
We aro also the largest dealers in
W O O L
A IS T D
H O P S .
HE ALffAYS LEAD IN PfilCES.
The neareat supply point to Glcnada and Florence by land.
All orders by mail or stage guaranteed filled prom ptly, and
correctly, at the loweat market price.
&
Eugene,
Oregon.
THE AMERICAN FARMER.
TW O
P A P E R S
F O R
$2.