o
Mark Twa«
• •
M «Q
The late M <ti ■> Twain sjwnt t*o
years of I ms lite in Buffalo, including
the “honeymoon” period tor litre,
while he was editor of the Buff.iio
Express (1869 187Q) that he married
Miss Olivia Langdon of Elmira,
N. Y
O11 assuming the editorship of the
Express on August 21, 1869, the man
who was afterwards to become one
of the world's greatest humorists,
said editorially:
“I only wish to assue parties hai
ing a friendly interest in the pros
perity of this journal that I am m t
going to hurt the paper deliberately
and intentionally, at any time. I am
not going to introduce ¡»ny startling
reform or in any wav attempt to
I
make trouble. I am simply going
to do my plain, unpretending duty
i
--when I cannot get out of it. I
shall work diligently and honestly
and faithfully at all times and upon
all occasions, when piivation and
want shall compel me to do so. In
writing I shall always connne mi self
strictly to the truth, except when it i
is attended with inconvenience. I
shall witheringlv rebuke all forms <>f
crime and misconduct, except when
committed bv the party inhabiting
my own vest. I shall n< t make any
use of slang nr vulgarity upon any
occasion or in any circumstances,
and shall never use profanity except
in discussing house rent and taxes.
Indeed, upon second thought, I wi 1
not even then, for it is inelegant, un •
Christian and degrading. I shall nut
often meddle with politics, because
we have a political editor who is
already excellent and only needs a
term in the penitentiary to be per
fect. I shall not write any poetry
unless I conceive a spile against the
subscribers. ”
One day Mark took an invitation
to furnish a mental photograph as a
text for half a column.
“I have but little character.” be
wrote, “but what I have I am willing
to part with for the public go,.d. I
would have been a better man ii I
had had a chance, but things have
always been against me. I nevet
had any parents, hardly—Only just a I
father and mother -and so I have
I
had to struggle along the best w iy
I could.” Then he went on to an I
s ver the questions put to him. Si-me
of these questions were:
What is your favorite object in
i
Nature? A dumb belle.
Where would you like to live? In I
I
the moon, because there is no w.i atcr
there.
If not yourself, who would you I
I
rather be? The Wandering Jew with
a nice annuity.
What is your idea of happiness?
Finding the buttons on.
What do you most dread? Ex
posure.
What is your aim in lite? To en
deavor to be absent when the time
comes.
What are the sweetest words in
the world? Not guilty.
What is your motto? Be virtuous
and you will be eccentric.
F. J HAYS OP I OMETER 1ST
will be at Dr. Perkin’s office on the
22nd an I 23rd of each month.
Eyes tested free and glasses fitted.
Don't forget the date.
<6tf
Administrator’s Notice
Notice is hereby given that the undersigned has
been appointed
administrator
Emma N. Jcne», deceased,
the estate o
of
by
an
order of lhe
County Court of Coos County, State
gon, and all
persons
said estate ate required
to
present
six months from the date of this
G, T.
them within
notice with the
proper vouchers to the underpinned
at the office of
of Ore
against the
having claims
Treadgold
administrator
in
Band w,
I
< ivos County, Oregon.
Dated thu 19th day of May. 1910.
G. T. Treadgold
Administrator of said Estate
The R ecoroer $1.50 per yea.r
«
Bring your
• Iol> Work
To tMK
ÄtCOBDER
FORCED TO
PROPOSE
The Opera
HAS A SELECT STOCK OE
B, ANNA WOODBRIDGE
Copyright, 19X0, by American Press
Association.
When un»- uioiulng Just before sun
rise we swept down on Turnerville,
taking the place by surprise, we found
three locomotive* and twenty freight
cars »standing In the railroad yard
A train syuH made up, loaded with
troops. und I. having been a locomotive
• i.gtiieer. was put in the cab. Before
Hturtlng the general said to me:
•'Sergenut. the aucceaN of this expe
dition di-(>eiids ii|>011 you Colonel Par
ker is iu command, but has nothing to
do with running the traiu. That’s in
your hand* A h hood as the Confed
erate* know w.-'re here they’ll send n
force to cut uh off. But they’ll need
the bridge at B.. and 1 want you to
get these men there before daylight in
the morning to burn It. But you must
keep a sharp lookout for snags. The
citizens on the line you will pass over
are all hostile, iiml they’ll strain every
nerve to wreck your train. Remem
ber. not only the Ilves of the meu iu
these cars, but the safety of the whole
command depends upon you.”
The first ten miles we did by day
light Then it grew dark, and I bad
nothing to see by but the lantern,
which lit the track dimly. My bend
was thrust far out the cab window,
and my hand was on the throttle,
Twice I stopped her within a few feet
of a tie wedged in between a rail and
the ties, and once I bumped a tree
that had been felled across the track,
having not quite stopped before reach
ing it. On an elevation 1 struck a
junction and a lot of people standing
about staring at us as we passed. 1
didn’t like their looks. But the tele
graph wires had been cut. and 1 didn’t
see how they could send word abend.
There were half a dozen freight cars
on a sidetrack, but no locomotive.
Soon after leaving the Junction 1 shut
off steam and let tier roll down the
long declivity. I was nearly at the
foot on a short upward grade wheu 1
had a break—the engine was only fit
for a junk heap—and spent half an
hour nt a standstill while I patched It.
As I remounted the cab Corporal Bob
Jenkins, who was acting as fireman,
pointed up the hill with a look of hor
ror. I saw a bright light, and a mo
ment later a short string of freight
cars shot from out a cut. I knew at
once what it meant. The citizens at
the Junction had started the cars I had
seen on the sidetrack, first having set
them afire, with the hope that they
would smash us on catching us and
if there was anything left of our train
burn It. I Jumped into the cab and
pulled the throttle.
The grade behind us wnsn’t less than
30 degrees, and the tire train was coin-
lug like lightning, I had a few train
lengths to go on nearly a level, then
a straightaway track on a slight de
cline. The tire train was coming at a
rflte of a mile in forty-five seconds, and
the best my old wheezer could do was
a mile iu two minutes. If I couldn’t
haul away far enough before the cars
behind reached a place where they
would lose momentum they would ruin
us.
Then begnu the race of my life. 1
could have stopped, let the meu out of
the cars and permitted the smashup.
but the bridge wouldn't be burned and
our force nt Turnerville would be cut
off 1 remembered tlie pressure of the
hand the geueral had given me. and 1
tightly grusped the throttle, resolved
to get away from those tire cars or
get wrecked.
1 held my eyes front, while Bob Jen
kins kept me posted on the tire cars.
'They're gaining on us mighty fast!"
“Only a mile away!" “They'll catch
us sure!" "They're coming like a
streak of lightning!" These wire the
unassurlng words Hob gave me while
my locomotive pulled and sputtered
and dragged along at what seemed to
us a snail's pace.
Then suddeuly turning a curve 1
saw a light ahead. Great heavens'
Were we to have fire both tn frout
and behind us? Running on n straight
track, 1 saw men kindling 11 small
bridge They had got the tire well
going, but I didn't believe they had
burned the stringers suttlclently to let
At any rate. I determined
us down
to risk It. Leaving on full speed—i
couldn't put ou any more—I dashed
Into the flames My locomotive cross
ed safely, and I was congratulating
myself that the train was all over
wbeu 1 felt a shock. We went a short
distance nnd stopped.
The bridge bad gone down under the
last two cars. Several men were had
ly Injured, but no one killed. Al) were
got out tiefore the tire cars plunged iu
on the wreck and stop|H*d there to
mingle their burning with tlint of the
other material.
i
The men of the last two cars got
into those cars that bad crossed, carry
ing the wounded. 1 mounted my en
gine, and we steamed on for the rest
of the night, reaching the bridge nt
B. just before dawn. My work war.
done. I leaned out of the cab window,
watching the men carry the wood and
petroleum and distribute them along
the structure. Then suddenly there was
a flash, and from one end to the other
all was aflame. I never looked at de
struction before with such comfort
and delight.
When 1 got hack to camp I got a
warm pressure of the hand from the
general, and it was not long tnfore,
through his Influence. I was given a
commission But the best work I did
in the war wan the flight before those
tn car*
Wines. Liquors & Cigar
Vienna Bakery Ann Cafe
Fine Quality Bread, Cake», Pies and Pastry.
First Class Restaurant
Private Boxes for Private Parties.
Everything Neat anil Clean
Mietuti licer «ru lkriiu;*lil
It was iu the reigu uf Klug Edwutd
The be«t of service guaranteed
of England, the fourth of that name,
that John Ochiltree, a young farmer
Short orders at all hours from 5:30 a m to 1:00 p. m.
COURTEOUS TREATMENT
living in the county of Kent, met a
iuss called Mary Griggs at a Maying
and conceived a strong passion for
her. He danced with her around th«
Maypole and looked at her languish-
OkEGON
ingly. but his modesty and the BANDON
strength of his love tied his tongue so
that he could say nothing to her.
Mary had been keeping company
with llichard Doyle, a maker of armor,
but the inouieut he laid eyes on John
Ochiltree. Doyle saw that she was lose
to him in favor of ids rival, lie drew
away sulky, thus leaving the field to
the man who had supplanted him.
The day after the Maying John Newly furnished large light rooms
waited for Mary to come out of her
Telephone
Electric Lights
father's thatched cottage and joined
Twin Screw, New and Fast
her. He man -gad to wish her “good Rented by single night, week or
month
morning" and said that the crop;
promised to be good and that one of
INQUIRE AT OFFICE OF
his cows had calved, but besides this
he said nothing. Mary was a girl of
spirit und would not help him on. She Hie BANDON STEAM LAUNDRY
said to herself that be should talk to
Our interests are your interests. Fair rates and
her like any other man or she would
If you wish a bottle cold---
good service our motto
have none of him. lie continued to
Call at lhe Eagle,
that ho
show her by his expression
<
If you love the goods that's old--
was enamowsd of her, and wheu he
Call at the Eagle.
bad a tnelan-
looked at her his eyes
i
A. F. Estabrook Co., 245 Cal. St., San Francisco
cboly expression.
‘ Taint no use to sit and blink
L. L. BRANDENBURG, Agent, Bandon, Oregon
Now. as soon as John got away from
if you really need a drink.
her his tongue was unloosed, and he
Just make a sign or ring a bell.
could say what he liked. He told his
And you bet they'll treat you right
mother of his trouble and convinced
Down at the Eagle
I
her that It was Impossible that he
should tell Mary his love and ask her
KENNEDY
i
to marry him.
WAl.O.MI I KF. RS
i
"Then,” said his mother, "Mary
I
Wagons of Ail Kinds Made to Order
must propose to you.”
Korseshoeing n Specialty
BANDON. OREGON
“She will never do that.” sighed
Job Work attended to promptly and all work guaranteed to give satisfaction.
Prices
John.
reasonable. Shop on Atwater Street, Bandon, Or-^on.
“She must be marte to. My son
wishes her for a wife. and lie must
have her. Besides, Mary is a good
girl and will have a good dowry. 1 B andon
--
O regon
wish her for a daughter-in-law. I
Druggist and .4potheen > if
have made up my mind that, since you
in,nut in receipt of a new stock of
are unable to ask Mary to lie your
wife, she shall claim you fot her hus
Drnge anil Chemicals. Pater, ami
band.”
“And how will you do that, moth Proprietary Preparations. Toilet
NEW STATE ROOMS INSTALLED
tides, 1,‘rngg
Sundries, Perfumea
er?”
Brushes, Sponges, Soup, Nuts and
“Never mind, so that I do It. We
Candies,
Cigars, Tobacco« and Cig i Eight Day Service Between the Coquille River and
women have to get through the world
arettes, Faints, Oils, Glass and
San Francisco
by exercising our wits. We are not Painter's Supplies.
men, to force our way, so we have to
plan.”
Things went from bad to worse be
SHOES
tween John and Mary. Determined to BOOTS - AND
force him to declare himself, she en
You can’t expect to get $2 worth
coumged her former suitor. This
for $1, but you can get your
made John ill, and so great was his
J. E. WALSITIOM. Agent, Bandon. Oregon.
money’» worth at
ailing that ills mother feared he would
E. & E. T. Kruse, owners and managers, 24 California St., San Francisco.
die. She went to Mary and. telling
MMMHtr i ’■Vfe’Mil «T
her of John’s condition and the cause,
begged her to do that which was ex
Dealer in Bools and Shoes.
pected of the sterner sex—ask John to
be her husband. Mary vowed that Repairing neatly and promp
she would be no man’s wife who bad
tly done at lowest liv
not the courage to ask her, nnd.
ing prices
though John might die, she would not
do his part for him.
Nut long after this a sheep belong
ing to a neighbor was found In John
The BANDON CABINET
Ochiltree's fold. John was arrested
for sheep stealing and thrown Into
WORKS
prison. "The (ad has lost bis mind for
love of you." said John’s mother to
All kirds of Cabinet
Mary. The lass was secretly troubled,
Paterne and Models
but tossed her head and said that a
SASH and DOORS
man who was afraid of a girl had no
mind to lose.
John was tried and convicted and
sentenced to be hanged.
Then Mary began to regret that she
China .;lonets .Sideboards.
had refused to be persuaded. But it
Picture l’’rn men a n d
was now too late. She had driven
Mouldings made to order
John Into insanity, for she believ e-1
Book Cases, in fact every
what Ills mother said, or she had unin
thing hi the Cabinet Line
tentionally bewitched him so that lie! I
and High Class Finishing
had stolen a sheep. She sat at home
mourning her sad fate at loving a
man so defective. John's mother
brought a request from her son that
1’lackerby
Building
Mary would be present at his execu
BANDON,
OREGON
tion. Mary declared thnt she could
not endure such a sight and would
not go. But she was at last persuaded
to grant this last boon to a man she I
BANDON
was now persuaded she had driven to
the acaffold. and on the morning of
the hanging she went there with her j
lover’s mother.
A crowd was gathered around the
Full line of Harness, Sad
culprit. John, with the rope arourd
dles,
Bridles, Halters,
his neck, had ascended a few steps <>f
Blankets
and everything
the ladder. He stop|x*d and, seeing
Mary below, said to her;
usually kept in a first-
"Mary, save me”
class
harness shop.
"IIow car. I do that. John?”
Repairing a Specialty
"It Is the law that if or.« atxiut to be
executed be claimed in »narriage by
any woman he shall go free.”
"Is that so?" Mary asked of the
sheriff
"If you eia’m this man la marriage I
FURNISHED ROOMS
dare nut hang him.”
“Ob. Mary.” cried John, ‘‘have mer-
AT
cy on me."
“Save him,” whispered the culprit's
mother.
Mary hesitated. “No.” she said at
last; “let hl; i hang."
MRS SARAH COSTELLO
John staggered, then seemed reliev
ed He (IlnJed nimbly up the other
Nice clean r.Min’H ?5 and 50c a
rungs of the ¡adder, and the sheriff
night; *1.25 a week; $5 nrnmith
was about to swing him off when
Man cried
OREGON
“Hold! < claim this man in mar BANDON
¡“.age."
John wn.< taken down, nnd the lov
trs, of whoj •a the one couldn't nnd the
City Transfer
sue wouldn't till death was Imminent,
'»ell into ec !r other's arms.
All kinds of draying and transfer-|
Jolt’s >■ other had stolen the sheen i
ting
FOR SALE—mill wood
it
and pta ed is in her fold to bring
«bout the rnsuit nnd force Mary to from Cody’s mill $2.00 per lord
make the pr. position. And yet we art
fold that «omen have not the heads Co>l sold and delivered at lowest
that tnsn bars to accomplish results •prices
J. Jenkins, Prop.
GROSS BROS
ROOMS and
LODGING
M. Smith
THE COQUILLE RIVER LIN E
Sirs, bilichi & Bandon
1st Class Passage,
Up Freight,
$7.50
3.00
Alvin Munck, Prop
Clarence F. Laue
S S. ELIZABETH
First-class Passenger Fare,
-
$7.SO
Freight Ratos.
-
$3 on Up Freight
M
B R EUER’ s
Job Work a Specialty
W. W. BINGHAM
Harness Shop
VV. J. SABIN, Prop.
e
Pacific
Read the Recorder
9