BANDON RECORDER
iMed tack W*«k
BANDON........................ ORBGON
When trouble goes to sleep don’t Mt
th* alarm clock
Women and newspapers should
never be judged by their wrappers
When you want to find out which is
the shady side of the street the best
way is to ask a loafer.
When a young married man gets
sick his mother always imagines it
is due to his wife’s cooking
Some pessimist has made the discov
ery that the holes in the doughnuts
are much larger than usual.
One man advertises for a wife who
He must have taken
the mother-in-law jokes seriously.
has no mother.
By this time next year very few
people will care to take the time to
look at an airship that is going by.
Learning to ride an airship is some
what like it used to be to learn to
ride a bicycle—with a longer and
harder fall.
Being a driver in an automobile
race may be a trifle less exciting than
going over Niagara in a barrel, but
it is a lot dustier.
It was no great sacrifice for Prince
Miguel of Braganza to renounce the
Portuguese throne, which he had no
prospect of attaining
One of these days the nations of the
earth are going to quit building
Dreadnoughts and devote their time
to the construction of fighting aero
planes.
One of the experts gives it as his
opinion that the late Colonel Snell was
crazy over women. We are Inclined
to regard the opinion as being extreme
ly conservative.
A California young man is going to
marry "a very wealthy and an ex
tremely beautiful” East Indian prin
cess. We are willing to believe that
she has money.
A dispatch from East Africa says
Kermit Roosevelt has “bagged a cow
hippo.” After which performance we
suppose he slung her over hii shoulder
and toted her into camp.
Sex plays a great part in the "Chris
tianizing” of the Chinese in this coun
try.
Since American girls have
■topped teaching In the missions the
pupils have deserted them also.
One hundred and fifty Boston girls
recently kissed the mayor of that
town. We hasten to assure our read
era that the young ladles did it in a
perfectly prim, proper and prudent
manner.
The physical condition of children Is
in some measure responsible for their
wrongdoing, think many doctors. It
is one of the advantages of living in
a ¿naterlal age that material causes
for evils are sought and removed.
FASKING OF TH* EVENING LAME
' nitloa by th» p**| to •$ 0to ..-t ftfMl
of the corporation
This is an an-
nouncement of a - >uo 1
lu ■tit-
poration manag*
id it should
receive the thoughtful consideration ■’!
railroad
"
•
r
u
tlon. The public will be fair if it is
treated fairly. When It is persistent
ly hostile there are always reasons -or
it* hostility, and it would be id * b
contend that either the great transpor
tatlon lines of the country or the
street railways of our cities had live,
up to the program that Mr McAdo
proclaims. They have often Ignore*:
just complaints and have introduce,
improvements only under pressure
though they should have experts a
work to anticipate the needs of th
public. Where there wae a propet
pride In the business and a proper
sense of its obligations we should no'
have to wait for protests and sugges
tions from without. As soon as a ba
condition began to develop a remedy
would be sought for it before th*
people had been put to an endurance
test. As It Is there Is too great an
insistence on rights without .much re
gard for justice or of the ultimate
benefits to be derived from a broad, lib
eral and progressive policy.
( I hie
(«inly
HORSES AND AUTOMOBILES.
LTHOUGH no monarch, however precart
ous his tenure may be in these uncertain
days of kingship, has recently offered his
kingdom for a horse, the old reliable ani
mal is still an indispensable adjunct to
human welfare. Only a few years ago Jhe
machinist who had become enamored of
automobiles predicted that the horse was doomed to
extinction at an early date. He said the same thing
when bicycles came into use. But the horse is still do
ing business, and the bicycle has gone so completely
out of general use as to make people wonder what they
ever saw in it.
Our horse population, taken over the fifteen years in
which the automobile may be said to have been an ef
fective competitor, has risen almost continuously, and
especially in the past seven years. There were 15,893,-
318 horses in the United States in 1895, with an average
value of $36 a head. There are now, according to the
figures of the fiscal year just closed, 20,640,000, with a
total value of $1,974,042,000, or an average of $95 a
head. In the same period the horse’s plebeian but use
fui relative, the mule, has nearly doubled in number,
or from 2,333.108 in 1895 to 4,053.000 in 1909, and more
than doubled in value, as the average mule which was
worth $47 in 1895 is now worth $107. If the automo
bile were going to exterminate the horse, such figures
as these would be impossible.—Wall Street Journal.
Not the least among the legal scan
dais of the day is the inquiry into th*
sanity of Harry Thaw, recently in
progress in New York. It is a mere
commonplace to say that if this young
criminal had been a poor man h*
would now be where the wicked cease
from troubling, but surely the fact of
his wealth and social position should
be no excuse for making him one of
the permanent institutions of the
country. In these matters of crim
Inal insanity we might do worse than
adopt the English system. The mur
derer who Is saved from punishment
on the ground of insanity is confined
in a criminal lunatic asylum "during
his majesty’s pleasure," and it is his
majesty’s pleasure that he shall re
main there for the rest of his natural
life. He never emerges again and
there are no judicial inquiries to pro
vide fat fees for attorneys or sensa
tions for society. The idea that a man
who committed a savage murder two
or three years ago, and who was then
morally innocent on the ground of in
sanity, may now have recovered his
sanity so as no longer to be a terror
to his associates is too puerile for con
sideration. Equally ludicrous is the
idea that a judge, or indeed any hu
man being, can determine whether or
not he has so recovered his moral re
sponsibility. The man who has once
committed murder under the stress of
insanity may do so again, says the San
Francisco Argonaut, and it is hard to
resist the popular opinion that the
inquiry in New York was merely one
of the preliminaries to this yoeng
man’s release. The attempt may be
unsuccessful this time, but one day we
shall awake to the unpalatable fact
that Harry Thaw is once more at lib
erty to wreak his vengeance upon
whomsoever he will.
ABANDONED FARMS IN ENGLAND.
NOLAND is worried at present over not
only a decrease in ltB farm population,
but a shrinkage in the number of acres
under cultivation. It has 1,500,000 acres
less under cultivation now than ten years
ago. A commission which investigated
the subject ascribes this situation to the
Impossibility of ownership by the tenant, leading to
slack methods which render farming unprofitable, and
recommend giving the tenant a chance to purchase, or
at least the benefit of enhanced value due to better
care and more scientific tillage.
Land in England has become too valuable to return
i profit by farming methods prevailing in the United
States, and the commission plane to rejuvenate English
agriculture by a multiplicity of small farms well tilled
and soil properly nurtured. England must always de
pend upon outside sources for a large portion of its
food supply, but it could be made to produce every
thing needed except grains and meat, and the amount
of these produced at home could be greatly increased
if all the arable land were under plow.—Omaha Bee.
RAISING THE STANDARD.
HE approach of the new school year brings
out the announcement that several of the
leading colleges and universities are adopt
ing the policy of ridding their classrooms
of no-account students. The Chicago Uni
versity alone has dropped one hundred
students because of failure to make satls-
factory records In scholarship. As we understand it,
the student who makes honest effort to make his grades,
and makes progress, even though slow in advancement,
will be given proper encouragement to continue his
work. Any other course would be brutal, but the smart
Alec who goes to college just because "pa" Is rich and
T
SOME MARRIED MEDITATIONS
By Clarence L. Cullen.
Man wants but little here below,
and his wife gets most of it.
Man’s work is from sun to sun. but
he has no regularly specified hours for
Prince Miguel of Portugal is to being worked.
Why is it that the woman who can
marry an American girl and several
millions of good American money, a afford to pay $28 for her corsets will
large part of which is to be paid in show ’em to your wife?
advance We wish Mr. Aldrich would
Does it ring exactly on the level in
devise a tariff scheme to keep these your ears when you hear a middle-
titled ones out of the American mar aged wife “sweetheart” in public?
ket.
You have observed that the woman
Another child shot by a revolver with a mission usually is foxy enough
which he and a boy companion found to snag a husband first in order to be
lying about the house and which they there with the missionizing sinews.
The acuteness of feminine intuition
began tossing about. Ignorant of its
death-dealing powers.
Is there no Is Illustrated by the fact that a girl
way of legally reaching the vacuous- generally ends by marrying the ¿nan
minded owners of firearms who persist for whom, at the first meeting, she
in leaving them lying within reach of forms an "intuitive" dislike.
The nearest thing to a boy with his
children, fully loaded and actually in
viting death and injury?
first pair of suspenders is a woman
with a new red morocco-bound check
Managers of charity bazaars in Lon book wherewith to draw upon the $100
don have lately been selling "Immu which her husband has put in the
nity tickets” of admission. The ticket bank for her.
entitles the holder to enjoy the social
Are you acquainted with the woman
and spectacular features of the bazaar who saves up her regular weekly
with Immunity from constant request "good cry” until Sunday, the only day
to buy this, that or the other trifle on which her husband might other
at an extravagant price The amount wise have a chance to enjoy a little
charged for the tickets depends on the home comfort?
good nature of the managers. Church
fair promoters in America might copy
May I.nae
Pnlntlng.
the London invention.
A famous painting,' The Last Spike,”
which pictures the scene of the driv
What shall be done to bring men ing of the last
that marked the
into the church? The question is completion of the* Central Pacific rail
more easily asked than answered
road and its junction with the 1’nlon
Much depends, of course, upon the Pacific, may he lost to San Francisco.
minister The trouble with too many
John Washburn, son-in-law of the
preachers Is that they do not attempt late Thomas Hill, who painted the pic
to appeal to men. Indeed, ft will be ture. is negotiating for its sale to an
found that where ministers possess Eastern man for $10,000. An effort is
manly traits they do not have occa making to arouse the people of San
sion to worry over the emptiness of Francisco to raise $10,000 in order to
pews. If their sermons are virile and save the painting for this city, says
attractive, if they deal with the dally a San Francisco correspondent for the
problems of life. If they help men In New York Herald. Should the effort
meeting and conquering the tempta to preserve the picture to San Fran
tions which constantly beset even the cisco fail the descendants of the men
most moral, they will find plenty of who built the first transcontinental
masculine auditors.
road will endeavor to procure the pic
ture for themselves.
In a speech at the opening of the,
Among those who have taken up
Hudson and Manhattan tunnels Will
negotiations with the estate are Mrs.
lam G. McAdoo said: "We believe In Whitelaw Reid, wife of the American
’the public be pleased’ policy as op Ambassador to Great Britain; Wil- i
posed to that of ’the public be d------d’; Barn E Crocker. D A Mills, Mrs.
we believe the railroad Is beet which Charles B Alexander and George
serves the people best; that decent Crocker, of New York; Mrs Collis P.
treatment of the public evokes decent Huntington. Princess Hatzfeldt. for- '
treatment from the public; that rec
merly Miss Clara Huntington; Mrs.
ognltion by the corporation of the just Mountenay Jeppson. of London, and
rights of the people results In recog- I Mrs. J. Sloat Fgssett, of Elmira, N T,
because all the other guys go”—this element is no
longer wanted by those institutions which make a spe
cialty of scholarship.
The proposed change ts one of the most wholesome
which has been considered in educational circles in a
long time. The age demands men who are prepared
for its activities The dullards and the indifferent ones
are rapidly being crowded aside. Their fate may be
an unhappy one, but in the race of life It is the fittest
who survive. The young boys of to-day should get their
eyes open. In this vacation time, if they resolve to
throw away that crooked pipe stuck between their
teeth, which really adds not one element of respecta
bility, and embrace the opportunities of the next school
year with all the vigor which they can command, they
will be far happier a twelvemonth hence and be able
to surprise themselves and their friends at th* «xtent
of the progress made.—Des Moines Capital.
WHY HARD TIMES DON'T LAS’.
HE chief reason why this country has
emerged so promptly from the slough of
financial and Industrial depression is
found in the latest report of the Depart
ment of Agriculture. The value of this
year’s farm products, as estimated by Sec
retary Wilson is $8,000,000,000, an increase
of 5 per cent over the great record of 1908. The corn
crop will reach 3.161,174,000 bushels, the spring and
winter wheat crops will total 663,500,000 bushels, and
there will be 692,933,000 bushels of oats, 183,923,000
bushels of barley, 31,928,000 bushels of rye and 11,250,
000 bales of cotton, not to mention the immense aggre
gate of the lesser crops.
These figures are almost too stupendous to permit a
proper realization of what they mean. Farm methods
are becoming more scientific, and, therefore, more effi
cient every year; the average acre will soon be pro
ducing what the average five acres used to produce, and
there seems to be no limit set upon the possibilities of
developing and Increasing the productivity of the soil.
The country's potential agricultural resources are be
yond comprehension. Add to them the untold wealth of
our mines and our fisheries, and it is easy to see why
actual hard times cannot last for long.—Ohio State
Journal.
TAXATION OF DEADLY WEAPONS.
CONGRESSMAN SISSON of Mississippi in
troduced a revenue proposition of merit
that might have prevailed had it been ad
vanced earl'er in the session. Much can
be said ir. its favor. It proposed a tax
upon evety deadly weapon and every car
tridge manufactured in this country. This
Is the practical way of securing the revenue, and on the
theory that the consumer always pays the tax, the bur
den would be widely distributed. The schedule calls
for a specific tax of $2 on pistols, dirk knives, sword
canes, stilettos, brass or metallic knuckles, and similar
weapons, with the addition of 25 per cent ad valorem.
On cartridges of 22-caliber or under it proposes a tax
of one-eighth of a cent on each cartridge, and on car
tridges over 22-caliber the rate proposed is one-fifth of
1 cent each. Weapons or cartridges sold to the Federal
government or to the various State governments for
the militia are exempted from the tax.—Manchester
Union.
t
ELECTRIC POWER FROM SUN.
Generator Gather» Solar Electricity
and Make» It Do Work.
combustion, requiring inconceivable
masses of fuel of some kind to main
tain it, and surrounded on all sides
by an Immensity of ethereal space of
so low a temperature that any radia
tion of heat from the sun must neces
sarily be absorbed and neutralized as
soon as it should leave the body of the
sun?
Why, if heat comes from the sun. Is
It as cold on the top of a mountain In
the tropics as in the frigid zone?
Now 1 have come to the point
where I must explain where the seem
ing heat in the sun’s rays comes from,
if not from the sun Itself.
It comes from electricity.
Light is the omnipotent force.
What is light? Who is there that
knows?
We understand that the Creator, in
directing that light first of all should
Innumerable reasons might be given
for belief that there is no heat in the
sun, but the strongest is based upon
the experiences of aeronauts. They
always remark that at great altitudes
the thermometer ceases to mark any
variation of temperature. Certainly
a man so high In the air that the
earth Is barely discernible is nearer
to the sun than we are. If the heat
be In the sun Itself, why does he not
feel it more strongly than those on
the earth's surface?
The tendency of heat Is always to
ascend Into the atmosphere when It
Is derived from combustion on the
surface of the earth, or from radiation
within It
The flame of a candle
points vertically upward when the
air is still. Notice a room In which
there is a hot stove. Is not the upper
part of the room vastly hotter than
near the floor?
The effort of heat Is to depart from
its source with a rapidity proportion
ate to the Intensity of combustion.
This Is a repellant force; at the same
time, from its being associated with
positive electricity, it is attracted to
the upper atmosphere by Its negative
electricity, which is always associated
with cold.
The diffusion of heat, laterally or
downward. Is Inconsiderable, as Is
manifested in a room where there is
an open fire, the fire emitting little
heat below the grate and part* of the
room being imperfectly heated.
From these simple facts I am forced
to com lude that the sun. If it had any
calorific rays, ■could not possibly send
LOW POWtlt GENEBATOB.
them to the earth below it through a
«put* of 92.00D,000 miles, having, as
■dentists declare, a temperature of be made. Intended to constitute a force
superior to all other forces.
minus 142 degrees centigrade.
Light, then, Is the great source of
Then. too. If the sun possessed heat,
and could force it downward to the terrestrial electricity, magnetism and
eirth. there <ould be no clouds, as the heat.
Whatever moves is matter. The hu
partides of atmosphere known as
clouds would bo so expanded and at man mind can conceive of nothing
tenuated by the absorbed heat that • else. Neither can it conceive of mo
tl ey could never attain definite shape ' tion without associating It with the
On the proven hypothesis that the Idea of an object to be moved. Hence,
sttn Is a magnet, ft cannot he an In lig t. which moves, is matter.
candescent body, sine« magnetism is
Light thrown upon the sun is re
destroyed by heat. The moon, we know, flected to the earth with a velocity
Is a reflector of light without the of 186,000 miles per second and re
emission of any accompanying heat. quires about 8 16-35 minutes to reach
If ve thus get our nocturnal light un the earth. Whatever may be the com
accompanied by heat, why should we position of the space intervening be
Insist uj>on violating the' well estab tween the earth and the sun, It must
lished laws of heat In Its radiations be matter, as nature abhors a vacuum
and declare the sun to be an Incan- ' Ol
It Its ''oc a '■ ■.■* .•*■<? form and
descent boJy, continually in active ( * all It ethtr, it is still matter.
Light passing through this with
marvelous speed must produce every
where enormous friction, and with It
electricity and magnetism. Electric
ity. by the junction of its opposite
polarities, evolves heat, and also im
parts magnetism to all substances that
are capable of being invested with It.
It is electricity, then, that causes
heat, and not. as has been thought
for ages, direct radiation from the
sun.
Although my theory, when Anally
worked out, satisfied me admirably, it
was not until I had completed my
generator and proved it that I felt
justified In speaking of what seemed
to be a ruthless uprooting of all pre
conceived ideas. Believing that the
sun's rays produced electricity, I
evolved a simple apparatus for utiliz
ing ft, and I did this so successfully
that It is possible to store In a battery
the electricity from the rays of light
—New York World.
A
W 11*1
of Other Day* <
liati Soiu* D| ph w *>.u*k«.
Mrs Holland was a your.; ; < rwn
with progressive ideas, but her hus-
band was M times a great, although
affectionately endured, hindrance to
her wishes. "1 wish you could hear
him talk about the old kerosene-lamps
they used to have when he was a
boy,” she remarked to her sister in
law one day. "D.d you like them so
much?"
“Couldn't abide them, my dear,”
was the prompt and gratifying reply,
“but men always like a lamp. I can
remember the way ours used to smell
when it was on full blast, of a win
ter evening, and how father would
wriggle in his shair and look over his
shoulder, then slap his (taper down
and attack the lamp. ‘Isn't there any
oil In this thing.' he’d ask. 'or does
the wick need trimming?' Of course
James has forgotten all that."
"Yes, Indeed," and In spite of her
self a smile began to creep round th*
corners of Mrs. Holland's mouth. “He
ho n-trticubirlv remembers the
atmosphere of that old sitting room,
.... and peacetul it always
a as, aud last night, when 1 handed
him a copy of the Happy Home Mag
azine. he turned away from the front
page, where there were two highly
tinted young people with heads close
together and shoulders overlapping,
to gaze at an advertisement on the
last page.
“ 'See that!' he said to me. 'Father,
mother, grandmother and four chil
dren all gathered round that table,
reading something. That's a good old
kerosene-lamp! Do you suppose they
go trapesing out nights—twitch a
button or two and go. leaving a pitch
dark house? No, ma'am Tliat lamp's
filled and trimined for a long home
evening. You see there are still some
families who've held out and kept
their old lamps Suppose they were
sitting round under electric bulbs—
would they look like that—or feel like
that? No, they wouldn't!’"
"Poor James!" said the sister-in-
law. smiling.
"But the thing I didn’t dare tell
him,” whispered Mrs Holland, as if
her James might be close at hand,
“was that the group round the table
was looking at an advertisement of
the Light-All Electric Company! He
hadn't his reading glasses on, so he
didn’t see the fine print.
Poor
James!”—Youth's Companion.
fl
A
v
WHALE STRANGLED SELF,
From Seattle Comes a remarkable
story, brought into port by the cable
repair ship Burnside. The Burnside
had been sent north along the coast of
Alaska to repair the cable, because
during the last winter difficulty had
been experienced in sending and re
ceiving messages.
The vessel picked up the cable con
necting Valdez and Sitka a few miles
off Cook inlet not far from Sitka. The
crew never had such a time hauling
a cable on board as they did that day
on the Alaska coast. Finally the
cause of the great weight was found.
Some time during the winter a
whale, feeding on the bottom of the
ocean, with wide-open mouth, collided
with the wire rope.
Unable to shake the big wire from
the mass of whalebone in Its jaws, the
big fish "turned turtle.” rolled over
once, turned round, rolled again and
dived.
In these few movements the fish
proved himself his own hangman,
for th* cable was twisted tighter
about the head of the whale than any
mortal could have twisted it with the
most powerful machinery.
The whale drowned and the carcass
was devoured on the bottom of th*
ocean by other fish. The crew of th*
Burnside hauled up an immense load
of whalebone, and found a great twist
in the government cable that had
been the cause of the unusual diffi
culty to and from either end of th*
rope.
Animili Farm.
M. F Kendrick, of Denver, Colo
has a farm equipped for the rearing
and sale of wild beasts. The enter
prize bears the title of the Kendrick
Pheasantrles and Wild Game Associa
tion. It grew out of the novel ex
hibit at the City Park in Denver,
which Mr. Kendrick maintained en
tirely at his own expense, because of
his love for wild game. Many thou
sands of dollars yearly went to the
development of Mr. Kendrick's hobby.
What was a fancy has become a sub
stantial business institution.
For the first few years only animals
native to North America will be reared
but eventually lions, tigers, and even
elephants will be bred. The farm Is
now stocked with deer, elk, antelope,
bears, mountain goats, etc., afld 16
acre« of ground are utilized in the
venture.
Mr. Kendrick says that it does not
cost any more to produce a pound of
buffalo or elk than it does of cattle or
sheep. Buffalo meat sells at from 50
cents to $1 a pound, elk meat bring
Ing nearly as much. The association
will not lack a market at these prices
If zoological parks and game preserves
do not take the entire output.
The United States government Is
taking great Interest In Mr. Kendrick'« i
farm. It will co-operate with him by
telling him how to cure or prevent
any disease with which he Is not fa
miliar.—Success Magazine
'I he Joy* to tome.
Now In the grove beside the stream,
where Nature seems at rest.
The Thousand-Legged Worms prepar*
a greeting for the guest;
For peek-a-l oo and open-work the gay
mosquitoes train,
And thoughtfully the caterpillars plan
for their campaign.
Longing to gladly mix It with the but
ter and at least
Give a fair imitation of the death'«
head at the feast;
The tired river's yawning for th* fool
who rocks the boat.
While In a nearby meadow, where th*
sun most cruelly shines,
The bull who'll break the party up 1*
practicing his lines;
The great elm tree Is waving Its fo
liage ox erhend—■
The one where they'll "seek shelter"
just before they are "strucll
dead."
Thu* Nature, who seems so quiet, la
tolling the whole day long
That the hilarious picnic party may
be sure to get in wrong.
—Boston Traveler.
VV lien llumasc» Flees,
When a woman can meet one of he»
husltand's former sweethearts and
treat her courteously or kindly, it la
a sign that the former sweetheart has
either grown very stout or has faded
terribly.—Chicago Record-Herald.
C'hlokenologg.
Worms are becoming larger every
day; finally they may become as large
Th* chicken* that bloom in th* sprint»
tra la,
Ar* auppoaed to be tender pickin’.
But many a boarder has found, alas.
There Is also th* st*«l spring chic*»
•n.
as lUagons and carry off peopl*.
—Kansas City Tim**