Ip and Down
In Gotham Town
peraen of the Danish university u
come over next fall and amuse the
Columbia boys, and be has promised
to do so.
«
t
>••••••••••••••••••••••••«
• “
According to Mark Twain, who, in
spite of his lack of humor, is believed (Copyright. 190S, by American Press Asso
to be a trustworthy authority on geog
ciation.]
raphy, the three streets in the world
One day soon after the close of the
Fifth Avenue Fascinating. but Not to Be most famous are the Appian way, civil war, while in Savaunah. Ga„ I
Broadway and the board walk at At drifted into u secondhand bookstore
Explored Without Caution A Friendly
lantic City. Jacobus Itamm is not at in search of something with which
Interchange - Pie and Finance.
one with him in this opinion.
to while away the time during an en
•‘Where is the Appian way?" he de forced sojourn in that city. While
A New Kind of Man.
manded when I quoted the author of there the proprietor told me this
"Innocents Abroad.”
story:
(From Our New York Correapondent.]
For reasons neither here nor there i
“One day »during the summer of
Fifth avenue baa a did not enlighten him. Nor was it nec
1863 Tom Clark, a man whom we
wide reputation essary, for he proceeded without pause
knew to be opposed to secession, but
both at home and to sing the praises of his favorite thor
who had always lived here and pro
abroad as a gen ougbfare.
posed to stay, he said, at least till
eral observation
"The board walk!” he snifTed con the Union was restored, came into
ground. Those temptuously. “Even Coney Island’s i this store and began nosing among
who visit Gotham Surf avenue has the board walk stung
do not delay long to a whisper. I wonder if Mark Twain ! iny books. He said he wanted some
thing for an old aunt of bls who took
in getting there, knows that in 1802 one of my fore
and those who fathers was offered lots as far north , no interest fu anything except religion,
have never been as Fulton street for $20 apiece and i I had Baxter’s ‘Saint’s Rest,’ Ilead-
outside the city wouldn’t buy, the old nincompoop! In i ley's ‘Sacred Mountains,' ‘Pilgrim’s
limits are equally those days the name of the street was I Progress’ nnd several others the names
conscious of the not Broadway; It was called Main j of which I have forgotten. He told
thoroughfare’s ir road Then It was known as Hoog ! me that he would like to take the lot
resistible charm. Weg, or Highway, and afterward as ' to bls aunt, let her pick out those she
It is a region in Heeren street, which meant street of fancied and he would bring back the
which something the masters. The board walk, indeed!” rest, fiaylng for those he kept. I let
him take all he wanted, and he went
is continually go
nwny
with them. In a few days he
ing on. Those who
Perhaps the most human thing about came in and ¡»aid for all except ‘Pil
go there to see things are disappointed
J. Pierpont Morgan is his affection for grim’s Progress,’ which lie returned,
rarely.
Now, the seeing of those things in apple pie. It may not answer to the saying that his aunt had a copy and
volves some risk. In these degenerate, description of a grand passion, but cer had read it through many times. ‘Be
Lombrosian days one may traverse the tain It is that the great financier cher sides, ’ he add<>d, ‘tlie book is too heavy
Bowery front Chatham squure to ishes a tenderness for apple pie that is for an old woman to hold anyway.
Cooper Institute, even at midnight or as genuine in Its way as was the pref The covers alone must weigh a pound.’
“Soon after this a mulatto came luto
after, in the most prosaic and unInter erence of Abelard for the society of
the
shop, handed me a scrap of paper
Heloise.
At
precisely
12:30
every
work-
•sting security. There was a time
when Chinatown was au uncertain re in; da .', uhi h means all days except with the words ‘Pilgrim's Progress'
Sunday, the Mor written on it and asked if I had the
gion to explore late at night, but it has
ia n office boy pro book, saying that his mistress, who
lost its excellent reputation as a pos
ceeds to a nearby lived on a plantation between here
sible thriller, and the present rectitude
lunch room and and Augusta, had sent him for it. I
of its ways and byways is positively
Invests a dime of showed him the book, but he said lie
di gusting to him or her who is in
the
l»ig promot couldn’t rend and asked If there were
search of the otherwise. The ancient
er’s fortune in a i any pictures In It. I showed him pic
glory of the Five Points neighborhood
mammoth pleceof tures of the giant Despair. Apollyon,
has departed forever. It has been cap
apple
pie, which the Celestial City and other illustra
tured and stripped of its old time
«institutes the tions. which satisfied him, for his mis
naughtiness by the most peaceable and
great man's mid tress, it seenn'd, had told him that in
law abiding colony of Sicilians that
day meal.
* this way he might Identify (he book.
•ver preferred polenta to starvation.
One
evening,
at He paid me $10 for it in Confederate
On* might remain in the sectlbn for a
li 1 s New York money less than a dollar in green
wefflt without molestation, and during
home on Madison backs—and took it away with him.
all^hat period iff- would probably wit
Somehow or another the darky ex
avenue,
Mr. Mor
ness nothing more exciting thnn an oc
gan and a few cited my distrust. While 1 had been
casional verbal and gesticulatory con
literary and ar at the other end of the store I had
flict between rival dealers in domestic
tistic friends were caught sight of him turning the pages
and imported macaroni.
discussing
epi of “Pilgrim's Progress” as though lie
Not so with the Fifth avenue. He,
taphs. Finally was reading it. When I joined him
sb« or it—not to show sex discrimina
each member of ( asked him if he wasn’t deceiving me
tion—who would see it as it should be
the
company pro about not being able to read, but he
seen must do it at the risk of bodily
MIDDAY MEAL.
ceeded in turn to denied doing so with all the voluble
injury, maybe worse. Within the past
few years there has been a genuine quote the must striking and appro “Fo de Lords!” and “On ma wo’d of
wild western holdup by daylight in priate tombstone inscription he could honahs!" for which the colored race
the vicinity of the Waldorf-Astoria. remember. When it came Mr. Mor are noted. However, I didn't care
Only a few short months ago pedes gan’s turn he declared that the most whether he could or couldn’t read, and
trians on the gilded highway were pathetic and expressive thing of the five minutes after be had gone I for
kind that had ever been brought to his got all about him.
There were a few Yankee prisoners
attention was the following tribute of
a dlsconsolatb husband to his wife, of war In tills town at the time who
who lies buried in the neglected little had been captured the autumn before
at a idg fight that had occurred on the
cemetery of a Maine village:
“She was good and true, and she railroad between lure and Charleston.
was the best piemaker in Somerset Thej’ were confined in the jail that
had always lieen used for criminals.
county.”
Captain Dan Mobray, a popinjay, had
Professor Guglielmo Ferrero, the charge of them, and he boasted that If
eminent Italian historian now on a any Yank could break jail when be
I visit to America, has been making a was in command he was welcome to
compelled to dispute the right of way remarkable character study of Presi do so. He had a theory that most es
with a huge boa constrictor, nnd only dent Roosevelt. The professor, is very capes of prisoners are effected by some
last month an elephant in search of enthusiastic over his researches in this one smuggling in to them articles to
adventures emerged from the Hippo direction and believes that he has dis assist them in getting away, so he
drome jungle and gravitated jubilantly covered a new species of man. “He wouldn’t let any one get near them
to the Fifth avenue.
has some distinctive fentures which 1 without being first starched.
But all these possibilities the hold have never before observed in man,"
Despite Captain Dan’s precautions
up, the ser|M»nt and the frisky elephant the learned young Italian told the stu one fine morning when the guard went
—are as nothing
dents who flocked to Ills lecture ut Co to feed the prisoners he found every
compared with a
lumbia university. “For one thing, his mother's son of them had gone during
new danger
frankness Is amazing. He confessed the night. Al) the bars necessary to
which confronts
thnt ho was a barbarian, although be their escape had been sawed through.
the frequenters
was born In New York. This seemed When Captain Dan came to the jail
of the gay ave
and saw what had been done he liked
nue. Recently a
to have had a fit. He summoned every
bright red wagon
one who had had access to the prison
on which the leg
ers—there were only two or three per
end “Dynamite”
Hons in all—and questioned them close
is displayed In
ly, but gained no clew. Never was a
large letters has
man more puzzled. He cursed and
made Its appenr-
swore, jind if any of the Yanks had
ance. From its
remained I think he would have tor
dashlioard f 1 u t-
tured them to make them tell how the
ters nonchalantly
tools had been smuggled into the jail.
■ little red flag
What bothered him most was that he
on which Is in
was satisfied that no person who had
scribed the sug
visited the prisoners had done the
gestive caution,
smuggling. A few eatables had been
"Danger!” This
seut tn, but they had all been so care
sensational vehi
fully examined that by no possibility
cle threads its
incredible, but Mr. Roosevelt soon could they have contained tools. From
way gingerly
made It clear to me. Almost before something I heard during the talk
down the long
he had spoken a word I realized that I about the escape I got on to a clew.
thor oughfare,
What I heard was this: Only one ar
winding in and out among the other was in the presence of n man who was ticle except food had been sent to the
traffic and meeting no obstacle of any of a type which 1 had never believed prisoners. A pious old lady living up
kind. Nobody has even stopped the could exist. Here was a union of two the river had sent them a copy of Bun
driver to ask whether or no it really opposite nnd antagonistic tempera yan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress.” But the
bears a consignment of explosives. I ments a rough primordial energy and book had been well shaken nnd care
viewed It the other morning from the the highest intellectual development exercised that nothing should be con
top of n motor bus, and I confess that possible to mankind.”
The Columbia hoys have methods cealed between the leaves. It was not
I descended from my perch and t<s»k to
peculiar to the student body whereby suspected that the book had contained
a side street.
they signify their acceptance or re saws or files. The only singular part
of this matter was that the prisoners
The plan now in vogue in the United jection of a statement, It may have
the “Pilgrim's Progress”
States of exchanging university pro been only a remarkable coincidence, had tnken
with
them.
fessors with those of foreign schools but at this |M>int a little more than
After the close of the war I learned
is turning out to l>e a great success half of the professor's audience groan
the
secret, It aeetns that after the es
The movement was startl'd last April ed audibly.
cape
one of the Yankees was concealed
“if all men were like this man,” con
when Chancellor MacCracken of the
for a time on the plantation of Tom
tinued
the
fluent
historian,
“
we
should
University of New York gave a series
Clark. Clark's daughter Helen fell in
of free lectures at the University of succeed In creating an eternal civiliza
love with the fellow nnd he with her.
1
tion
exposed
no
more
to
the
decay
that
Copenhagen. The getdal chancellor
Six months after the loss of our cause
a peaks no Danish and the blond and destroys all other civilization."
this Yankee came down and married
The
student
body
cleared
its
throat
intelligent student Issly of the Danish
Helen Clark. Wife here he told the
school apenks no English, but that and did the Columbia yell. It was the story of how* ho and his comrades go*
didn't seem to stand In the way of the professor's first experience with this their tools. < lark, who was rank Un
general hilarity of I he occasion. As an time honored institution, but a man ion. took home the “Pilgrim's Prog
entertainer Chancellor MacCracken was who Is writing a history of fifty vol ms” on purpose to put saws into tin
a ten strike. The Danish youth had umes. five of which are already com thick covers. He didn't dare send th«
never before seen anything of the 1 pitted, does not lack courage, and he book direct to the prisoners, expecting
kind, nnd It sort of prepared the way : did not lose consciousness. “If I am that such an act would implicate bin\
for an even more novel sensation, two saying anything out of the way,” he He brought it back to me an<( induce^,
lectures by President Nl holna Murray said appealingly, “you must ascribe It an old lady to buy it and send it to th«
Butler of Columbia. Now. at home - to my difficult.v with the English lan prisoners. When she consent'd Clark,
thnt Is, on the Columbia campus the guage." The student body can be gen not willing to rely on an ordinary mes
president had never l>een suspected of erous on occasion, and It composed It senger. got one of his sons to make up
being a humorist, nnd his success In self nnd behaved like a perfect gentle for a darky, buy the book and carry |i
Denmark came as a surprise. Preal- man until the end
to th« jail.
denr Butler invited Professor Otto Jer
8TUYVE8AKT BROWN
NOEL WEBLEY BATES.
11
Roaring Muselea.
“If a writer wrote of roaring mus
cles, you would laugh at Mm. Joints
crack, the stomach thunders, but mus
cles, you would say, don't roar. That ■4
is your mistake. They do."
Tin- speaker, a physician, put his
finger tn his ear.
"I hear a muscle roaring now.” said
he. "Try it, and you, too, will hear the
sound And to prove that it Is the
sound of a muscle, put a plug of wood :
in your ear instead, and you will hear
nothing.
“Contracted muscles give out a roar
ing sound. Relaxed muscles are si
lent. This fact is of use in diagnos
ing certain diseases. The stethoscope
makes the muscular roars audible, and
those strange voices proclaim the pres
ence of such diseases as tetanus, men
ingitis or strychnine poisoning, while
silence on the muscles' part is, so to
speak, a sullen admission of the pres
ence in their midst of atrophy, degen
eration, puralysis."—Buffalo Express.
i
I
It Is Well.
It is well to carefully cultivate tastes.
Ruskin says, “Tell me what you like
and I will tell you what you are.”
It is well to study human character.
Bodenstedt says: "In the face of ev
ery human being Ids history stands
plainly written; his Innermost nature
steps fortti to the light. Yet they are
l he fewest Who can read and under-
stand.”
It is well to “brush up against the
world." Goethe says: “Talent forms
itself In secret, Character is the great
current of the world.’
It is well to be never cast down.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning says:
T
1 71 T
First class Passenger Fare.
Freight Rates,
L
1
$7.50
$3 on Up Fre jht
J. E. WALSl'KOM, Agent, Bandon, Oregon.
E. T. Kruse, managing agent. 24 California St., San Francisco.
Hotel Gallier
Rates $l.oo to
oc. per day.
week or month.
Sample Room in Connection.
Special rates by
Oregon
THE HARDWARE MAN
BRIDGE
BEACH Stoves, Ranges and H alert have in them so many excellence«
that they are now acknowledged the greatest sellers on the coast and they are growing
in favor every year.
We have the exclusive agency in Bandon for these household
and office necessities, and prices rang»’ exceedingly modest in either case.
Builders Were.
“It Is true,” said a friend, “that you
have amassed a great fortune, But
I
your grammar”—
i
“Never mind the grammar,” said I
Mr. Dustin Stax. “This is an era of
specializations. I may be weak in
some branches, but I’m an authority
on the possessive case.”—Washington
Star.
<
Bandon
Who were the mound builders of
North America? The Rev. Dr. Bryce
of Winnipeg has examined a large
number of these Interesting struc
tures and is of the opinion that they
were built by the Toltecs and mark
the course of the Toltec immigration i
from the south along the Mississippi
and Ohio to the great lakes and the
St. Lawrence, along the Missouri and
along the Mississippi proper to the
Ratn.v and Red rivers. This would
make tin* earliest mosnd date from
I
abont 1100 A. D. Boston Herald.
His Strong Point.
r/
This steamer u new, is strongly built and fitted with the latest improv i r*
will
give a tegular 8 day service, (or ¡¿isjeiigcis and freight, between the Coquille river, Oug< n,
Let no one till his death
Be called unhappy. Measure not the work
Until the day’s out and the labor done.
Who the Mound
I
Tlie New, Elegantly Fitted au<l
TINNING AND PLUMBING A SPECIALTY
Our Assortment of Hardware, Tinware and Edged Tools is Most Complete.
BANDON STEAM LAUNDRY
Washing a
£
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Special
attention given to fine woolen goods.
Cleaning ami
pressing Mens’ Suns and Ladies’ fine skirts given
prompt attention
F. A BATES, Proprietor
N
Ui
Writing For Money.
Green—I hear your wife is an au
thoress. Does she write for money?
Breen—I never receive a letter from
her that she writes for anything else.
—Town Topics.
Recorder $1.50 per Year
(«fi
-.. .. „
jt;a