3AND0N RECORDER
I mu «4 tach Waat
BANDON.......................... OREGON
Marconi has shave«.! his mustache
off. having now a prejudice against
anything wiry.
A man who married said g«xxl-by to a
gay life. lie may find matrimony ex
citing, if not gay.
The man who wants but little here
below is usually willing to compromise
on a political office.
f been pending slu«’e 1870. On Sept. *18
J of thut year two boys, aged 11 and 8
years.' started for a gunsmith s with
their father's pistol to be repaired. On
the way they quarreled, and the elder
shot the younger, probably by accident.
The elder was arrested by the papal
authorities, then the rulers of Rome;
but before he could be brought to trial
the temporal power of the Po[>e was
taken away. In 1882 the new power
in Rome had reached the ease and was
ready to try it; but the death penalty
was abolished about this time, and this
caused fresh delay. Now, if he Is so
fortunate, the boy, now a middle-aged
man, will either be discharged from
custody or formally punished.
Bright's disease and organic heart
Theodore. Jr., has already been pro trouble In New York and other large
moted to a more resi*onslble job. We cities of wealth have reached alarming
hope be Is rising strictly on bis merits. proportions.
These are aristocratic
aliments coming from rich feeding, late
One of the prominent authors says: hours and wines. In New York the
"The devil cannot write poetry.” Is deaths from these troubles were, hi
this to be considered as another reflec 1871, at the rate of 17.08 persons In
tion on Alfred Austin?
every 1.000 of population; in 1883 the
rate was increased to 21.91 ; in 1903 it
If Explorer I’eary has a motion pic was 27.20; in 1907 it was 30.14. Here,
ture machine the public may l»e able in cold figures of death and disease, is
some day to obtain a near view of the the lesson which tells us. who, though
aurora borealis in action.
poor, love life and health, that riches
are not an unmitigated blessing, Of
Emperor William has invented a course, we all think that if we were
new brake. We are assured, however, rich we would be more sensible than
that he has not done It with any sin those who are now wealthy, but this
ister motive against England.
cannot be proved, for prosperity is a
much harder test of character than is
The Czar could shoot down the re adversity, and is warranted to show
volting peasants, but the cholera Is a up the dross in the saintllest. Better
foe which can be subdued only by by far, for our health at least, is the
skill, honesty and cleanliness.
stern master, necessity, which forces
us to go sedately along the same work
Prussia is reducing the income tax
aday pathway, than the wild gay
on married men who have children.
crony, wealth, which would allow us—
Prussia certainly understands how to
yes, encourage us—to run impetuously
band something to the bachelors.
to a premature grave. The universal
cry and desire and plaint of the age Is
Nat Goodwin announces that he will
for riches. Let's stop for a minute
not get married again. Considering
and realize that riches could mean but
the ease with which Nat gets unmar
a slight variation from tlie program
ried, it is difficult to understand his
upon which our lives are already or
position.
dered, Food, clothes, home, occupa-
The announcement that five Har tion, recreation, friends—these we
vard men “cheated death” should have. Wealth could put more spices
arouse President Eliot, who is a stick in your food, more style in your coat,
ler for honest college sport, to make a more glmcracks in your house, more
anxiety in your occupation, more pre
searching investigation.
tense in your recreation and more
One of the professors, having inves- falsity In your friends. With money
tigated the matter, finds that few these things could be varieti and y<St
bachelors amount to much as diplo could travel and see the world. But
mats. This shows that practice at it is safe to predict that after five
years' wild indulgence in all the things
home has its advantages.
you have wanted so long, you would
King Edward, though a gracious find yourself back to the same stale,
sovereign, Is a busy man, and probably flat 'plain where you now imagine your
never will fin«! time to make a lord self so forlorn. And with worse health
out of our distinguished ex'-couhtry- at that; for riches, as usually In
dulged, mean high living, little exer
man, William Waldorf Astor.
cise and less thinking, a shrinking of
Mrs. Howard Gould alleges that her the unpleasant wherever possible, and
husband trie«! to starve her by cutting consequently a softening of all fiber,
down her allowance to $00,000 a year. mental, moral and physical. Read over
She must be a person who cannot live again the statistics at the beginning of
unless she has meat three times a day. this article and train your wishes to
ward something that means more
A Theosophlst lecturer says: “Some health. more life, and not less.
of us may have marche«l wth Caesar
or suffered wth the martyrs of Koine.”
But what good will It do us If we can
prove that we marched wth Caesar?
That wouldn’t entltl«* us to pensions,
would It?
Mrs. Annie Cobden Sanderson, the
English suffragette who has recently
been In this «yountry, has written an
article in which she says American
women are too timid. She evidently
did not see American women at a bar
gain rush.
Just as the florists do wonderful
things in developing flowers, so do the
French manufacturers, who are now
turning out artificial roses and dahlias
that measure from eight to ten inches
in diameter, a single “bloom" covering
the crown of the latest Paris hat. To
imitate a flower on that scale Is a task
for an artist; but it Is said that the
new creations look very natural, espe
cially In the milliner's bill.
The American Humane Education
Society has offered a prize of a thou
sand dollars for a play on the subject
of ’The Christ of the Andes." It is an
inspiring subject, the shrine on the
boundary between Chile and Argentina
signalizing |>cace between the nations,
but no play offer«*d was judged worthy
of the prize. The choice of the dra
matic form In this cont«*st Is signifi
cant nt a time when the elevation of
the drama as a vehicle of serious Ideas
is urged.
Some Monday in the autumn always
finds a ministers' meeting discussing
the dearth of young men studying for
the ministry. But none of the clergy
men who spoke on this lack s«*emed
aware how many new fields attract
the young men who once became min
isters. Thirty years ago the young
man with a call and a vocation to the
service of religion and the aid of his
fellow-men had little but the pulpit be
fore him. Today there are 2,500 sec
retaries in the Young Men's Christian
Association who would once have been
pastors. There are thousands of re
ligious young men holding places in
charitable societies and In college set
tlement work. Of the 361» men who
took the degree of Ph.D. or 8c.D. last
June, with a view to the higher teach
ing. many would once have been or
dained and by that path become col
lege professors. The number of young
men In the work of religion, the
church and humanity, is larger than
ever it wns.
It seems Incredible that In so civil
ized a country as Italy a man can have
remained in prison untried for thirty-
eight years. Yet the government is
about to dispose of a case which.1’««
THE WAR CLOV'D IN THE FAR EAST AS THE LONDON PAPERS PICTURED IT
Old Favorites
Î
U ♦******♦*«♦*♦■♦* JI
Flynn uf Virginia.
Didn't know Flynn—
Flynn of Virginia—
Long as he's been 'yar?
1-ook ee here, stranger,
Whar hev you be«m?
Here in this tunnel
He was my pardner,
That same Tom Flynn-
Working together.
In wind and weather,
Day out and in.
Didn't know Flynn !
Well, that is queer.
Why, it's a sin.
To think of Tom Flynn—
Tom, with his cheer;
Tom, without fear—
Stranger, look 'yar!
Thar in the drift.
Back to the wall,
lie hold the timbers
Ready to fall;
Then in the darkness
1 heard him call:
"Run for your life, Jake!
Run for your wife's sake !
Don't wait for me."
And that was all
Heard in the din.
Heard of Tom Flynn—
Flynn of Virginia.
A MONTENEGRIN COLUMN ON THE MARCH.
When the Montenegrins are
mules and transport arrangements
to this they form the Red Cross
nursing them.
Their strength is
That lets me out
Here in the damp—
Out of the sun—
That 'ar derned lamp
Makes my eyes run.
Well, there—I’m done.
But, sir. when you'll
Hear the next fool
Asking for Flynn—
Flynn of Virginia—
Just you chip in,
Say you knew Flynn ;
Say that you’ve beeu 'yar.
Bret Harte.
A SONG OF FAR TRAVEL.
Many a time some drowsy oar
From the nearer bank invited.
Crossed a narrow stream, and bore
In among the reeds moon-lighted.
There to leave me on a shore
No ferryman hath sighted.
AWNING FOR CHAIR.
Canopy
to
Shield
I«er Cnn
Attached t«i Baek.
He
Many a time a mountain stile,
l>ark and bright with sudden wetting,
Lured my vagrant foot the while
'Twixt uplifting and down-settling—
Whither? Thousand mile on mile
Beyond the last forgetting.
Still by hidden ways I wend,
Sunshine has b«‘en robbed of its ter-
(Past occasion grown a ranger) ;
rors for the fair sex by the ingenuity
Still
enchantment, like a friend.
of a Scotchman. This man has devised
Takes from death the tang of danger;
b chair canopy or awning frame, that
Hardly river or rod can end
can be attached to the Iwck of any or
Where I need step a stranger !
dinary olia ir and put up or down at —Atlantic.
will. 'Hie canopy, which is like an
i wning frame, is pivoted to the uprights
of the olia ir back.
At the top is a fi
roller, on which the awning folds, and
the arms of the frame can also lie fold
ed together and let down over the back
of the chair when not neede«!. The
roller on which Hu* canvas folds works
Rather a Neat Job
My profession isn't a popular one.
There is considerable prejudice against
It I don’t myself think It's much worse
than a good many others. However,
that's nothing to do with my story.
Some years ago me an«! the gentleman
who was at that time connected with
me tn business—he's met with reverses
since then, and at present Isn't able to
get out—were looking around for a job.
being at that time rather hard up. as
you might say. We struck a small
country town—I ain't a-goin’ to give It
away by telling where it was. or what
the name if it was. There was one bank
there; the president was a rich old
duffer; owned the mills, owped th«*
bank, owned most of the town. There
wasn't no other officer but the cashier,
and they had a boy, who use«! to sweep
NO SUNBURN I1EKE.
Good Lord, save my friends from me!
sut and run of errands.
The good of all creeds of all coun by a spring, The convenience of such
The bank was on the main street,
tries is comprehended in the one word, a canopy can lie readily seen, Persons pretty well up one end of It—nice, snug
v ho are not so fortunate as to have place, on th«* corner of a cross street,
•'kindness.'’
porches
will be able to sit in the sun. with nothing very near it. We took our
Why should we fear Death, the kind
with
no
fear of its effects and collapsi- ibservations and found there wasn't no
old night nurse who will one day put
ble chairs, equipped with these awnings, trouble at all about it. There was n
us to sleep?
will add to the comfort of outings. For
The fellow who doesn't expect to use at the seashore alone this contriv >1<1 watchman that walked up and down
pay until judgment day is apt to go ance should have a big demand. Among the streets nights, when he didn't fall
«sleep and forget it. The vault had two
into debt beyond his means.
It« other merits is that of being easy to Joors; the outside one was chllle«l iron,
When a woman is learning to smoke adjust in place.
ind a three wheel combination lock:
she makes herself sick; afterwards she
the
inner door wasn't no door :.t all;
The Treasury Vaults.
makes the rest of us sick.
you
could kick It open. It didn't pre
The first question the average vis-
The only time it doesn't pay to re
tend
to Is* nothing but flrepr«M«f, and ft
turn good for evil is when you change itor to the United l States treasury wasn't even that. The first thing *v.*
building asks is: ' “Couldn't burglars
a counterfeit bill for some one.
Ione, of course, was to fit a key to th«*
tunnel under the vaults and rob the
Every man would like to be young government?” Well, that is not likely. mtslde door. As the lock on the out
again, but no woman would «■are about Au armed guard sits Is’side the vaults. «ide door was an old-fashoned Bacon
lock, any gentleman In my profession
It unless she were also pretty.
Every twenty minutes he is required to who chances to read this article will
ring
an
alarm
just
to
show
that
he
is
Th« Flrat Hello Girl.
know Just how easy that Job was. an«!
awake. An armed patrol makes the
They were seated around a table in a
how we did It.
rounds hourly. Secret service men in
This was our plan: After the key
well known cafe, and the conversation
plain clothes, with concealed weapons, was fitted I was to go Into the bank,
had turned upon the development of
the flying machine and other fruits of keep watch and ward outside and in md Jim—that wasn't his name, of
side the building. As to tunneling, the •nurse. but let it pass—was to keep
the Inventive genius of the day.
“Tut, tut,” exclaimed a solemn faced, officials hold that if a man by any pos watch on the outside. When any < ne
lantern jawed member of the party. sibility should manage to bore under passed he wns to tip me a whistle, and
neath a vault the heavy metal would then I douse«! the glim and lay low;
“What of it?" The ok! folks were not
so slow. Look at the telephone, clalme«l crush him to a jelly, thus administer after they got by. I goes on again,
as a modern invention. Why, say, it's ing a lasting gold cure. Even if the Simple ant! easy, you sis’. Well, the
tunnel burglar should get away with night as we selected the president hap-
the oldest on record."
"You better see your doctor, What's his life he could not get away with pened to be out of town ; gone down to
th' matter with you?" asked another, much gold. Ten thousand dollars in the city, ns he often did. I got Inside
"Oh, I mean it.” said the solemn- double eagles weighs thirty-eight all right, with a slide lantern, a breast
faced man. "Telephone service dates pounds. Forty million dollars in gold drill, a small steel Jimmy, a bunch of
back to the garden of Eden—that's certificates of the $10,000 denomination skeleton keys and a green baize bag, to
where it originat«*«l. The garden's call weighs eleven and a half pounds. stow tin* swag. I fix«*«! my light and
Even burglars prefer the gold certifi rigged my breast drill, anti got to work
was 2-8-1 Apple."
cates
to the real thing.—Buffalo Times. on the door right over the kx-k.
Then he dodged the remnant of a
Probably a great many of our read-
sandwich, reached for his hat and was
The WeddliiK Hay.
gone.—New York Globe.
"So she was h*d to the altar at last?” ers are not so s-ell posted ns me about
bank locks, and I may say for them
remarked the girl in blue.
Hindoo Confectionery.
that a three wheel combination lock has
“
Led!"
repeated
the
bride's
deare
t
Like the American girls, Hindoo girls
three wheels In It, and a slot In each
friend
—
"led!
1
fancy
you
didn't
see
are passionately fond of sweet things
wheel.
In order to unlock the d«w>r, you
One of their candles, sadu. is very much her. She didn't have to be led. When have to g«*t th«* three slots opposite to
«he
started
down
the
aisle
you
couldn
’
t
like our plain sugar candy. It Is made
each other nt the top of the lock. Of
of sugar and milk and flavored with have driven her off with a regiment of course, if you know the number the lock
•avalry!”—Tit-Bits.
attar of roses. Buddhikahal, or hair of
Is set on you can do this; but If you
Buddha, is one of their m<»st popular
Just before breakfast every morning don’t you have to dejtend on your in
sweetmeats. It Is so called because it ‘taint Peter works hard and fast charg genuity. There Is In each of these
is in fine, long strings like vermicelli. ing those with falsehoods who com wheels a small hole, through which you
This Is made of sugar and cream from plain that they “never slept a wink all can put a wire through the back of the
buffalo's milk, which Is exceedingly light” ___________________
lock when you change the combination.
rich.
When a man begins to tell a story, Now. if you cnn bore a hole tbroifgh
Wastt'd time to-day means extra ind Introduces it by asking If sve have tlie door an«! ; Id; up those wheels by
running a wire .through those holes,
work to-morrow
heard it we can get away.
advancing against an enemy the women not only look after the pack
generally, but themselves do the work of pack mules.
In addition
branch of the army, bringing the wounded in from the front and
greater than that of many men—Illustrated London News.
why, you can open the door. I hope I
make myself clear. I was During that
hole. The door was chilled Iron; about
the neatest stuff I ever worked on. I
went on steady enough; only stopped
when Jim—which, as I said, wasn't his
real name—whistled outside, and the
watchman toddl«*d by. By-and-by, when
I'd got pretty near through, I hear«!
Jim—so to speak— whistle again. I
stopp«*«!, and pretty soon 1 heard foot
steps outside, and I'm blowed, if they
didn't come right up to the bank steps
and I heard a key In the lock. I wts
so dumfound«*d when I heard that that
you could have slipjied the bracelets
right on me. I picked up the lantern,
and I'll be hanged if I didn’t let the
slide slip down and throw the light
right onto the door, and there was the
president. Instead of calling for help,
as I supposed he would, he took a step
inside the door, and shaded his eyes
with his hand and looked at me. I
knowed I ought to knock him down and
cut out. but I’m blest if I could, I was
that surprised.
“Who are you?” he says.
“Who are you?" says I, thinking tiiat
was an Innocent remark as he com
menced it. and a-trying all the time to
collect myself.
“I’m president of the bank,” says he.
kinder short; "something the matter
with the lock?”
By George! the idea came to me then.
“Yes. sir,” says I. touching my cap;
“Mr. Jennings, he telegraphed this
morning as the lock was out of order
I WAS INIKING THAT HOLE.
and he couldn't get In and I'm come on
to open it for him.”
“I told Jennings a week ago," says
he. “that he ought to get that lock
fixe«!. Where is he?"
“He's been a-writing letters, and he's
gone up to his house to get another let
ter he wanted for to answer.”
“Well, why don’t you go right on?"
says he.
“I've got almost through," says I.
“and I «lhln't want to flrlsh up and open
the vault till there was somebody here."
“That's very creditable of you." says
lie; “a very proper sentiment, my man.
You can't tie too particular about avoid
Ing the very suspicion of evil.”
“No. sir," says I. kinder modest like
“What do you sujipose is the matter
with the lock?" says he.
“I don't rightly know yet,” says I ;
“but I rather think It's a little wore on
account of not being oiled enough
These 'ere locks ought to be oiled about
once a year.”
“Well." says he. “you might as well
go right on. now I’m here; I will stay
till Jennings comes. Can't I help you
—hold your lantern, or something of
that sort?"
The thought came to me like a flash,
and I turned around and says;
“How do I know you’re the president?
I ain't ever seen you afore, and you
may be a-tr.vlng to crack this bank, for
all I know.”
“That's a very proper Inquiry, my
man,” says he. “and shows a most re-
marknble degree of discretion, I con-
fess thnt I should not have thought of
the position In which I was placing
you. However. I can easily convince
you that It's all right,
Do you know
what the president's name Is?"
“No. I don't," says I, sorter surly.
“Well, you'll find It on that hill,” said
he, taking a bill out of his pocket; “an«l
you tee the same name on these let
ters," and he took soAio letters from his
coat.
I suppose I ought to have gone right
on then, but I was Is'ginning to f«*el
interested in making him prove who he
was. so I says:
“You might have got those letters to
put up a Job on me.”
‘You’re a very honest man," says he;
“one among a thousand. Don’t think
I'm at all offeixled at your persistence.
No. my goo«! fellow. I like It. I like it.”
and he laid his hand on mv shoulder.
"Now. here,” says he, taking a bundle
out of his pocket, “Is a package of ten
thousand dollars in bonds. A burglar
wouldn't be apt to carry those around
with him, would he? I bought them in
the city yesterday, and I stopped here
to-nlglit on my way home to place them
in the vault, and. I may add that your
simple and manly honesty has so touch
ed me that I would willingly leave them
In your hands for safe keeping. You
needn't blush at my praise.”
I suppose I did turn sorter rcsl when
I see them bonds.
“Are you satisfied now?" says he.
I told him I was. thoroughly, and so
I was. So I picked up my drill again.
and gave him th«* lantern to hold so
that I could see the door. I got through
the lock pretty soon, and put in my
wire and opened It. Then he took hold
of the door and opened th«* vault.
“I'll put my bonds in,” says he, “and
go home. Yon cnn lock up and wait till
Mr. Jennings comes. I don't suppose
you will try to fix the lock to-night?”
I told him I shouldn't do anything
more with it now, as we could get in
before morning.
“Well. I'll bbl you good-night, my
man,” says he, as he quietly swung the
<loor to again.
Just then I heard Jim, by name,
whistle, and I guessed the watchman
was a-coming tip the street.
“Ah,” says I, “you might speak to
the watchman, if you see him, and tell
him to keep an extra lookout to-night.”
“I will," says he, and we both went
to tin* front door.
“There comes the watchman up the
street, says In*. "Watchman, this man
has been fixing the bank lock, and I
want you to keep a sharp lookout t«>
nlght. He will stay here and wait until
Mr. Jennings returns.”
“Good-night again." says he, and we
shook hands, and h<* leisurely went up
the street.
1 saw Jim, so call«*«!. in the shadow
on the other side of the street, as I
stood on tin* step with the watchman.
“Well," says I to the watchman. “I«1
go and pick up my tools, and get ready
to go.”
I went into the bank, and it didn't
take long to throw the door open and
stuff them Itonds Into the bag. There
was some isixes lying around, and a
safe
ha ve
Ing Providence after the luck we'd had.
I looked at my watch and sc«* It was
Just a quarter past twelve. There was
an express train went through at half
past twelve. I tucked my tools In th»
bag on top of the bonds, and walked out
of the front diHir. Th«* watchman wns
on the steps.
“I don't believe i'll wait for Mr. Jen
nings." says I. “I suppose it will be all
right if I give you this key."
•That's all right," says the watch
man.
"I wouldn't go away very far from
the bank." says I.
“No, I won't," says he; “I'll stay
right about here all night.”
"Good night," says I. and I shook
hands with him. and me and Jim_
which wasn't his right name, you un-
derstaml took the twelve-thirty ex
press. and the best part of hat Job wm
we never heanl nothing of it
It never got Into the papers.—Penn
sylvania Grit.
A Chnnue.
Mrs Larkin—1 want a little money
to-day, Fred.
Mr. L.—I’m very glad of that.
Mrs. L. (surprised)—Why are you
glad? Mr. L.—Because generally you
want a good deal.
When a man
always tells you
you to decide.
nsks
Ji»st
Jous advice, he
bow Us exptxAf ' •